Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.

Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.

• Prioritize and Delegate

Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.

• Embrace “Good Enough”

Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.

• Meal Planning and Prep

Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.

• Use Technology to Stay Organized

Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.

• Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.

• Practice Mindful Breaks

Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.

Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.

“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”

— Gail Smith

What you say to your child sticks.

As your child grows, how wonderful it would be if they just knew how you valued them and how consistently you talked about matters that mattered to them. The statements below are powerful suggestions of words that can be repeated time and time again over the years. It doesn't matter if children are three years of age or late teenagers. These statements are powerful tools in driving the right message into them. Consider building them into your repertoire.

"I believe in you, no matter what."

Impact: This statement reinforces your unwavering faith in your child's abilities and character, helping them feel confident and supported even during challenging times.

"You are loved just the way you are."

Impact: Letting your child know that they are loved unconditionally helps them feel secure and accepted, fostering a strong sense of self-worth.

"I’m proud of you for being who you are."

Impact: This acknowledgement celebrates your child’s individuality and encourages them to embrace their unique qualities with pride.

"Your feelings matter to me."

Impact: By affirming the importance of their emotions, you validate your child’s experiences and teach them that their thoughts and feelings are valuable.

"You have the strength to overcome any challenge."

Impact: Empowering your child with this belief helps them develop resilience and the confidence to face obstacles with determination.

These statements repeated throughout your child’s life send a very clear message of your unwavering love and support as they grow into well-developed young adults. Repeat them often for a strong effect.

“Use words well around children. They listen with sharp ears.”

— -Gail J Smith

Be Present for your child. It supports their mental Health

Being present for your child is one of the most impactful things you can do as a parent.

Here are five outstanding reasons why your presence is crucial, particularly for your child’s mental health:

Emotional Security and Trust

• When parents are consistently present, children feel secure knowing that they have a reliable support system. This sense of security forms the foundation for trust, which is essential for healthy emotional development.

• Mental Health Impact: A secure attachment with parents reduces anxiety and stress, fostering resilience and emotional stability.

Building Self-Esteem

• Parental presence, through active engagement and positive reinforcement, helps children develop a strong sense of self-worth. They feel valued when their parents show interest in their thoughts, feelings, and activities.

• Mental Health Impact: High self-esteem is closely linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to take on challenges and develop healthy social relationships.

Role Modelling Positive Behaviour

• Children learn by observing their parents. When parents are present, they can model positive behaviours such as empathy, patience, and problem-solving skills, which children are likely to emulate.

• Mental Health Impact: Positive role modelling helps children develop healthy coping mechanisms and social skills, reducing the likelihood of developing mental health issues related to poor interpersonal relationships.

Supporting Emotional Expression

• Being present allows parents to create a safe space for their children to express their emotions. When children know they can share their feelings without judgement, they learn to process emotions in a healthy way.

• Mental Health Impact: This open communication reduces the risk of emotional repression, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges later in life.

Enhancing Cognitive Development

• Active involvement in your child’s learning and development—through play, reading, or helping with homework—stimulates their cognitive growth. It also encourages a love for learning and curiosity.

• Mental Health Impact: Cognitive stimulation and a positive learning environment reduce stress and anxiety related to school and social pressures. This, in turn, promotes a healthier mental state and a more positive outlook on life.

You can be present with your child in many and varied ways. It does not require perfection but simple healthy, regular engagement with your child nourishes their spirit and sense of well being.

“Enjoy the moments with your child. They become hours, days and fruitful years.”

— Gail J Smith

Mental well being needs to be nourished over the years

There is no quick fix to building a healthy mental state with our children. Slow steady consistent habits developed in your family can be great boosters for mental health.

Consider:

• Affirm the small achievements.

  They do not need to be on a large scale but you recognize in your child some simple milestones that they have made. That could be at school, sporting efforts, improved attitudes, showing generosity, demonstrating gratitude etc.

• Give them the liberty of talking about issues.

  Sometimes we jump in fairly quickly and can place judgement on what they have to say. Just be an effective listener without showing strong opinions and let the conversation flow. You may learn something interesting.

• Play and enjoy their childhood.

  A happy child who plays often and lives in a world where they can be creative and free show a greater ability to be less stressed throughout life. We all need a good childhood. Play with them.

• Gradually build their independence.

  From birth, a child is working to be more independent. Your support in giving them small opportunities as the years go by, will give them personal satisfaction in managing themselves. As they grow in independence, they feel emotionally in charge and ready for more challenges. They accept failure more easily and see it as a learning curve.

• Let them think critically

  A critical thinking child develops strong emotional independence. Talk frequently to your child and let them ask questions often. Guide them in thinking about optional viewpoints and keep their minds open to new ideas. A closed mind is dangerous

A child who learns to inquire about life is not frightened about the challenges it offers. In fact they invite them.

“Those foundation years need ongoing nourishment and enrichment to keep developing good mental health.”

— Gail J Smith

Be the parent and not the friend to your child - that’s what they need

We all want that close and connected relationship with our child. We sometimes think that being their close friend is the best way to show how much you love your child. Whilst all goes well it may seem a perfect situation but at some point you will need to be the parents as this may come with some stresses and strains on the relationship. Your child really looks for the parent in you and that comes with responsibility and accountability.

The following ideas are sound and compelling reasons why being the parent gives you the greatest chance to have a strong and healthy relationship where you can share friendship and joy in a balanced way. Parents need to be parents, not friends:

1. Boundaries Create Security and Structure for Children!

2. Children Need Guidance, Not Peer-Level Approval!

3. Discipline from a Parent Shapes Responsible Adults!

4. A Parent’s Authority Builds Respect and Trust!

5. Children Look to Parents for Leadership, Not Friendship!

6. Parenting with Authority Encourages Healthy Decision-Making!

We all want to be there for our children when they need us. This may require clear thinking and rational decision making. This does not always mean that you are their best friend but in fact their best parent.

“Your child needs the parent in you. Not the child.”

— Gail J Smith

Encouraging your child to write well

Some children find writing a difficult task. They seem to feel blocked and struggle to start stories and certainly struggle to continue with them. Parents can help by providing some stimulating activities for their child to do that are not difficult but can motivate a child to write.

 Consider:

• Encourage Daily Journaling: Suggest that your child keep a daily journal. Writing about their day, feelings, or even imaginary stories can help them practise and improve their writing skills regularly.

•  Read Together Regularly: Expose your child to a variety of writing styles by reading together. Discuss the books, focusing on how different authors use language, structure their stories, and create vivid descriptions.

• Use Writing Prompts: Provide fun and engaging writing prompts to spark their creativity. Prompts like "Imagine you have a superpower for a day. What would you do?" can make writing exciting and less of a chore.

• Play Word Games: Engage in word games like Scrabble or Boggle. These games can expand vocabulary and improve language skills in a playful and interactive way.

• Incorporate Technology: Use writing apps and websites designed for kids. Programs like Grammar for Kids or fun writing games online can make writing more engaging and educational. Talk to your child’s teacher about what they would recommend.

• Write Letters: Encourage your child to write letters to family members, friends, or even pen pals. Writing letters can be a fun way to practise different writing and communication styles.

• Create a Family Newspaper: Start a family newspaper where everyone contributes articles, stories, or comics. This can be a collaborative project that makes writing a shared and enjoyable activity.

• Provide Constructive Feedback: When reviewing your child’s writing, offer positive feedback along with gentle suggestions for improvement. Focus on specific aspects, like adding more descriptive words or varying sentence structure.

• Use Visual Aids: Encourage your child to create storyboards or mind maps before writing. Visual planning can help them organise their thoughts and improve the overall structure of their writing.

• Set a Writing Example: Share your own writing with your child. Show them drafts, edits, and final versions to demonstrate the writing process and the importance of revision and improvement.

• Start A Sentence: Make it a game. You start a sentence, and they finish it. “Yesterday I found an interesting rock. It was……”

• Play with Reading Books: When you are reading a book occasionally stop. Let them see that the written word has power and invite your child to change the story. Perhaps they could suggest a different ending.

Have plenty of books and magazines around the house and occasionally read little segments from them out loud. A child's imagination will be enlivened when they begin to talk about their passions and interests. When they start to be motivated about something, encourage them to write about it. Let them see that the written word has power.

“When we write, we feel, see and hear the words.’

 -Gail J Smith

Why it is important to monitor the mental health of your child

It is such a complicated world now that we are always in the throws of social media etc. There is much for our children to absorb and to learn. We know that keeping our children happy and feeling secure in the early years is critical to building mental stamina.

The following thoughts remind us of the importance of being aware of how your child is handling their mental health.

Good mental health in the early years can:

• Prevent Anxiety and Depression: Early monitoring helps identify signs of anxiety and depression, allowing for timely intervention and reducing long-term impacts.

• Promote Academic Success: A mentally healthy child is more focused, engaged, and motivated in school, leading to better academic performance.

• Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Regular check-ins teach children how to manage stress and emotions, fostering resilience and emotional intelligence.

• Strengthen Parent-Child Connection: Being attentive to a child's mental health builds trust and opens lines of communication, making children more likely to share their feelings.

• Reduce Risk of Substance Abuse: Monitoring mental well-being can help prevent negative behaviours, such as substance abuse, that children might turn to as coping mechanisms.

• Support Long-Term Well-being: Ensuring good mental health in childhood sets the foundation for a happier, more balanced adult life, with fewer mental health issues.

Of course we do not live in a perfect world and from time to time your child will be challenged on various levels especially socially and emotionally. Simply be there, understand, listen well and together find solutions to problems. That kind of nurture builds resilience and reassurance in children.

“Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.”

— Charlie Mackesy

Six reasons why giving your child quality time works

The time you give to your child is valuable and has a lasting effect on their feelings of being loved and feeling secure.

Here are six surprising outcomes when you give of your time to your child:

Your effort:

Promotes Creativity: Engaging in imaginative play with parents stimulates children's creative thinking and problem-solving skills.

Reduces Stress: Shared activities and positive interactions can lower stress levels in children, leading to better overall mental health.

Teaches Conflict Resolution: Quality time allows parents to model healthy ways to handle

disagreements, helping children develop strong conflict resolution skills.

Enhances Cultural Awareness: Parents can introduce children to diverse cultures and traditions, broadening their understanding of the world.

Improves Physical Health: Active play and shared physical activities encourage healthy habits and improve physical fitness.

Fosters Independence: By spending time together, parents can teach essential life skills, empowering children to become more self-reliant and confident in their abilities.

Giving quality time to your child is all about sharing more of your life with them. There will come a time when they disappear out of sight and we struggle to bring them into our presence. This is of course the teenage years. Therefore value those moments you share together. It is rewarded a hundred fold.

“Shared time with your child builds strong mental health in all the family”

— Gail J Smith.

Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent

We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.

The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.

Consider:

• Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.

• Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.

• Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.

• Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.

When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.

“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”

— Gail J Smith

It is important to speak well to your children

Speaking well to children is a language all its own. Children register very quickly from what you say and how you say it, what kind of value you place in them.

Here are six sound reasons why speaking well to children is important and it also highlights damage that can be caused if we do not speak well.

Building Self-Esteem

• When children hear positive words and encouragement, they feel valued and loved. This helps them develop a healthy sense of self-worth.

• However, harsh words can make children doubt their abilities and feel unimportant, leading to low self-esteem.

Fostering Emotional Security

Kind and understanding words create a safe emotional environment. Children feel secure knowing they can express themselves without fear of judgement. However, negative communication can make children anxious or fearful, feeling like they must always be on guard.

Encouraging Positive Behaviour

Praise and positive reinforcement motivate children to repeat good behaviour and make better choices. However, constant criticism can lead to rebellion or a lack of motivation to try their best.

Developing Language Skills

Hearing rich and positive language helps children expand their vocabulary and communication skills, crucial for their overall development. However, exposure to negative or limited language can hinder their ability to express themselves effectively.

Modelling Respectful Communication

Children learn by observing. Speaking well to them teaches them how to communicate respectfully with others. However, if children hear harsh or disrespectful language, they might imitate this behaviour in their interactions.

Strengthening Parent-Child Bond

Positive communication fosters a strong, trusting relationship between parents and children, which is the foundation for a healthy family dynamic. However, negative interactions can create distance and weaken the parent-child bond, making it harder for children to confide in their parents.

When a child feels confident to talk to you about important matters and when they are relaxed in how they communicate with you, this is a sign that you are speaking well to your child. All they want is to feel safe through your dialogue and welcomed in your conversations.

“Speak well to your child and they will speak well back.”

— Gail J Smith

How To Keep Your Anger Under Control Around Children

Being angry from time to time is natural. We cannot be even tempered all the time and there are often triggers that will set us off. Tiredness and being over busy are catalysts for feeling anger. We know that children can become quite anxious if a parent shows a lot of anger from time to time. Intermittent anger can be very confusing for a child and they will often withdraw when that happens.  Uncontrolled anger from a parent can have severe effects on a child.

Below are some recommendations to practise reducing your anger. They are excellent strategies to use which will also have a calming effect on yourself. This will benefit your moods and overall well being. There is strength in calmness.

Consider:

• Practice Deep Breathing: When you feel anger rising, take a moment to breathe deeply. Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Repeat this a few times to help calm your mind and body.

• Take a Timeout: Just like children, parents can benefit from a timeout. If you feel overwhelmed, step away for a few minutes to collect your thoughts. This can help prevent you from saying or doing something in anger that you might regret later.

• Identify Triggers: Pay attention to what specific situations or behaviours trigger your anger. Understanding your triggers allows you to anticipate and manage them better, reducing the likelihood of an outburst.

• Use Positive Self-Talk: Remind yourself that anger is a natural emotion but it can be controlled. Use phrases like “I can handle this calmly” or “I am in control of my emotions” to re frame your mindset in stressful situations.

• Implement Physical Activity: Physical exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and stress. Incorporate regular physical activity into your routine, whether it’s a daily walk, yoga, or a quick workout, to help manage your anger levels.

• Communicate Openly: Express your feelings in a calm and constructive manner. Use “I” statements to explain how you feel and why, without blaming or criticising your child. For example, say “I feel frustrated when the toys are left out because it makes the room messy” instead of “You never clean up your toys.”

• Be Authentic: Your child knows you well. Talk to them about the things that can make you upset and this will help them take more responsibility when they bring up certain topics. It is also a positive family thing to do when families talk about what makes them angry.

Through managing your anger you are setting a great example for your child. They will see the effort being made and recognise that controlling anger is a necessary skill to live effectively.

‘Being calm, you show strength through your actions.’

-Gail J Smith

Persevering as a parent makes such a difference to your child

At times it can be so difficult to keep up the parenting especially when you are tired and have a lot on your mind. Of course simply toning down the parenting is a great idea to ease some pressure from you, but your endurance and doing the hard yards will pay off.

Consider when you are consistent:

You build strong Bonds

Perseverance fosters deep, lasting relationships. By sticking with your child through thick and thin, you create a strong bond built on trust and love. This connection provides a safe foundation for them to grow and thrive.

You model Resilience

Children learn by watching their parents. When they see you handling challenges with grace and determination, they learn resilience. This invaluable lesson will help them navigate their own obstacles in life with courage and confidence.

You encourage Independence

Through consistent support and guidance, children gain the confidence to explore and learn on their own. Your perseverance helps them develop the skills and independence needed to succeed in the world.

You foster Emotional Stability

Children need stability to feel secure. By being a constant presence in their lives, you provide a sense of security that allows them to express their emotions freely and develop a healthy emotional foundation.

You celebrate Milestones Together

Persevering through the tough times makes the joyous moments even sweeter. Celebrating your child's achievements, big or small, becomes more meaningful when you’ve been there every step of the way.

You create a Legacy of Love

Your unwavering support leaves a lasting impact on your child's life. They will remember your love and dedication and likely pass these values on to their own children, creating a legacy of love and perseverance that spans generations.

Above all, remember that you are human and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. When you are feeling vulnerable, be honest and tell your child that today is not my best day and perhaps we will do things differently. Your child simply wants honesty and acceptance. They will respond better to your moods and temperament if they understand them better.

“Be open and honest with your child: it pays off overtime.”

— Gail J Smith

Self Care Tips for Busy Parents

A tired parent will struggle to offer their best to their child. As a parent, remember that your well-being is important in managing all the roles you are asked to fill. The happier you feel about your own well-being, the better you will parent your child. Every busy day, there should be some space for yourself.

Here are nine suggestions to build your own personal well being package.

Mini Meditation Sessions

Make five minutes each day for a quick meditation session. Use a meditation app or simply sit quietly, focusing on your breath. Even short moments of mindfulness can reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

Prioritize Sleep

Establish a consistent bedtime routine and aim for quality sleep. Even if you can't get a full eight hours, prioritise rest by winding down with a book, reducing screen time before bed, and creating a calming sleep environment.

Move Your Body

Incorporate short bursts of physical activity into your day. A 10-minute walk, a quick yoga session, or a brief dance break with your kids can boost your mood and energy levels.

Delegate Tasks

Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks. Share household responsibilities with your partner or older children, and consider outsourcing certain chores if possible, such as grocery delivery or hiring a cleaner. Ask yourself the question, “does everything need to be done today?”

Enjoy a Hobby

Set aside a few minutes each day or week for an activity you love, whether it's reading, knitting, painting, or gardening. Engaging in a hobby can be a great way to relax and recharge.

Connect with Friends

Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, even if it's just a quick phone call or a virtual coffee chat. Maintaining social connections is important for emotional well-being and can provide a much-needed support system.

Practice Gratitude:

Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on what you're grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply noting three things you're thankful for can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.

Take Micro-Breaks:

Throughout your day, take micro-breaks to stretch, breathe deeply, or simply step outside for a moment. These short pauses can help refresh your mind and reduce accumulated stress.

Develop a Sense of Humour.

When you laugh especially at yourself you feel better and begin to take things less seriously. This is great for your well being.

Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the moment and to enjoy the experience that we are living in at the time. By developing an optimistic outlook and celebrating the great work you are doing, rather than questioning what isn’t done well, will soften your feelings about yourself and enable you to savour the day.

Taking time to rest and recharge yourself makes you more attentive as a parent

-Gail J Smith

Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child

We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene.  Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:

Changes in Sleep Patterns

Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.

Behavioural Changes

Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.

Physical Symptoms

 Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.

Academic Performance

 A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.

Changes in Eating Habits

Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.

Regression to Earlier Behaviours

 Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.

 Frequent Crying

A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.

Avoidance Behaviours

 A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.

Increased Dependency

 A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.

Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness

Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.

When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.

 The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence.  -Gail J Smith

Be Authentic With Your Child - It Builds Strong And Trusting Relationships

 Builds Trust

When you are honest and genuine with your child, you build a foundation of trust. They learn that they can rely on you to be truthful, which strengthens your bond and makes them feel secure. This means that they will come to you more with tricky problems.

Models Healthy Relationships

Being real with your child shows them how to have healthy, authentic relationships. They see how to express their feelings, communicate openly, and resolve conflicts, which are vital skills for their future interactions. This encourages strong stable friendships with others.

 Encourages Emotional Growth

Children learn how to process and express their emotions by observing their parents. When you are authentic about your own feelings, you teach your child that it's okay to feel and express a wide range of emotions. Your child becomes less intimidated to express their feelings in front of others.

 Promotes Self-Acceptance

When parents are real, it shows children that it's okay to be themselves. They learn that they don't have to hide their true selves to be loved and accepted, fostering their self-esteem and self-acceptance. This is all about liking yourself, and you do not need to prove anything to others.

 Enhances Communication

Being genuine encourages open and honest communication. Your child will feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you, leading to better understanding and connection. This means they feel in an environment of complete trust.

 Prepares Them for the Real World

Life isn't always perfect, and being authentic helps your child understand this reality. They learn to deal with disappointments, setbacks, and challenges more effectively when they see their parents handling real-life situations with honesty and resilience.

Being authentic allows you to be yourself in all its glory and with all its failures. Your child needs to see the real you and to learn from your life journey. It is so much easier parenting when you are not pretending to be something different.

Never Underestimate How Important You Are To Your Child At Any Age

How easy it is to forget the value that our children place on us. At times we feel their trust and love have diminished but it actually hibernates for a while as they grow through different stages. Our children are on a mission from childbirth to be independent and that journey can often challenge their relationship with us. However, their great desire is ultimately to take us with them into adulthood. The thoughts below are an excellent reminder of how valuable we are to our children.

• Parents are the original Google. They answer endless questions about the world, from why the sky is blue to why you can't have ice cream for breakfast (even though they secretly wish they could too).

• No matter how many times you "decorate" the walls with crayons or bring home a pet frog, parents love you anyway. They're the ultimate cheerleaders, always in your corner.

• Parents show you how to be an adult. From tying your shoes to filing taxes, they model the art of surviving and thriving in the grown-up world. Plus, they’re living proof that yes, you can survive without a nap.

• Parents are like a safety net in a circus act. When life gets wobbly, they're there to catch you, dust you off, and send you back into the ring, with a little more wisdom each time.

• Whether it's a skinned knee or a broken heart, parents are the go-to fixers. They're like emotional band-aids, always ready to make the hurt feel a little less painful with a hug or a cookie.

• Parents teach you the difference between right and wrong, like why it's not okay to swipe your sibling's dessert (even if they weren't eating it fast enough).

• From cooking a meal to changing a tyre, parents equip you with the skills you need to navigate life. They're the original DIY experts, minus the YouTube tutorials.

• Parents can be surprisingly fun. They tell the best (or worst) jokes, make silly faces, and sometimes dance in the kitchen like no one is watching, even when everyone is.

Every now and again, when you feel the fatigue of parenting or think that you are making no difference, keep in mind that parenting is a long-haul process. It is not so much geared to short-term success, but it is more about the ongoing support and unconditional love you show them.

If you are emotionally and physically present for your child, you are a parent with impact.

Gail J Smith

Keep An Eye On Your Child's Mental Health

From time to time check in on your child's mental health. Situations can change quickly for a child such as school issues, friendships etc and parents need to notice if there are shifts in their child's behaviour or general mood. A child's life is very fluid and we need to swim with them in the shifting emotional waters where there are ebbs and flows throughout the years. 

Consider:

Early Detection of Issues:

Why it matters: Just like physical health, early detection of mental health issues can lead to more effective treatment.

Example: If a parent notices their child is unusually withdrawn or anxious, addressing it early can prevent more serious issues like depression or anxiety disorders. Be alert to changed moods.

Impact on Academic Performance:

Why it matters: Mental health significantly affects a child's ability to learn and perform in school.

Example: A child struggling with undiagnosed ADHD or anxiety may have trouble focusing or completing homework, leading to poor grades and low self-esteem. Poor performance can have a lot to do with diminishing self-confidence.

Social Development:

Why it matters: Healthy mental well-being is essential for developing strong social skills and forming healthy relationships.

Example: A child with unmanaged social anxiety might struggle to make friends or interact with peers, affecting their social development. Shifts in friendship groups can also impact their emotional well-being and inability to manage bullying.

Preventing Harmful Behaviours:

Why it matters: Unaddressed mental health issues can sometimes lead to harmful behaviours, such as substance abuse or self-harm.

Example: Recognising signs of distress and providing support can steer a child away from coping mechanisms that can be harmful in the long run. Keep an eye on eating patterns as eating disorders can become serious mental health issues.

Building Resilience:

Why it matters: Understanding and managing mental health from a young age helps children develop resilience, which is crucial for coping with life's challenges.

Example: Teaching children healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills can prepare them to handle stress and adversity more effectively as they grow.

A major foundational tool in preventing mental health issues is building in a child a strong sense of self-worth. Being parents who listen well to their children, place no judgement on them and affirm them regularly in a loving way strengthens their sense of self-worth.

Little by little affirm those little successes you see each day in your child. Those little successes become strong foundational blocks for building a pyramid of emotional well being.

 -Gail J Smith

The importance of your child attending school regularly

Once a child gets out of the pattern of attending school regularly various issues can develop which further exacerbates their interest in attending. We need our children to be keen and interested in school. When they feel that it is important for them to attend you can feel reassured that they are engaged with the school environment.

Here are five reasons why regular attendance is so necessary for a well adjusted child at school:

Academic Achievement:

• Consistent attendance ensures students don't miss important lessons and activities, leading to better understanding of the material and higher academic performance. The child who misses important lessons soon feels they are not a success. They feel that others are smarter than them. This can lead to disengagement from their work.

Skill Development:

• Regular attendance helps students develop essential skills such as time management, responsibility, and discipline, which are crucial for future success. A child needs and responds to the setting of boundaries and being in routines.

Social Interaction:

• Attending school regularly allows children to build and maintain friendships, improving their social skills and providing emotional support through peer interactions. Regular friendship contact gives a child reassurance and they feel socially satisfied.

Access to Resources:

• Regular attendance provides students with access to school resources like libraries, labs, and extracurricular activities, enhancing their learning experience and personal growth.

Preparation for the Future:

• Consistent school attendance establishes a routine and work ethic that prepares students for future education and employment, instilling a sense of commitment and reliability. When they lose this momentum they can feel lost and quite disconnected from their peers.

It does require effort on the part of the family but each morning is important in getting everyone up in time to face the day.

“When your child is fully engaged at school, they seldom become anxious about getting ready to leave in the morning.”

— Gail J Smith

How to choose the best school for your child?

At this stage of the year many parents are reflecting on where to send their first child to school. It is also useful for all parents of children in schools to reflect on what your school is currently offering your child. Is it living up to those expectations you have of it? Is your child happy at school?

Here are some reflections on how you can research your local schools. Keep in mind though that your participation and engagement with that school will make all the difference to your child's success in that environment.

Consider:

• Consider the school's proximity to your home or workplace for ease of commute and involvement. Also consider your child will establish friends at that school and this will impact on your social life at home as often children want to play with friends outside of school hours.

• Look at the school’s curriculum and special programs to see if they align with your child’s learning style and interests. Is the school looking into optional programs to support various children's needs?

• Smaller class sizes often mean more individual attention for your child. Check the teacher- student ratio. Consider is the school likely to grow in numbers quickly as that will affect class sizes?

• Research the school’s reputation through reviews from other parents, online ratings, and talking to local community members.

• Ensure the school offers a range of extracurricular activities that match your child’s interests, such as sports, arts, or clubs.

• Visit the school to get a feel for its culture and values. Make sure it aligns with your family’s values and supports a positive environment. Attend functions such as s school fairs to get a feel for the environment.

• Check the quality of the school’s facilities, including classrooms, libraries, sports areas, and technology. Are their any plans for new buildings, renovations etc.?

• Find out what support services are available, such as counselling, special education, and tutoring programs.

• Assess how the school communicates with parents and the opportunities available for parental involvement.

• Review the school’s safety protocols and discipline policies to ensure a secure and well- managed environment.

• Look at the school’s performance data, such as test scores and graduation rates, to gauge academic success. Take care though that this is only one feature of a school. Your child's learning is very holistic and they will need development in their social, emotional and physical development alongside side the intellectual development.

• Take a tour of the school, meet the staff, and observe classes to get a firsthand impression.

A school can be many things to children. Primarily they need to feel welcomed and believe that they can safely learn in that environment. No school environment is perfect. What is important is that your child feels strongly connected to the school and can grow with confidence and the reassurance that everyone is there for them.

“The quality of your child’s education at any school will be enriched by your relationship to that school.”

— Gail J Smith

Information every parent should know about their child's school

Every school is different. The culture is different and how a school thinks and operates varies. As a parent, keeping in touch with your child's school, is the key to getting the best from the experience. Here are some ideas facts that you should consider so that you understand and gain a rich experience from the school as a parent.

• Know the daily schedule, including start and end times, and keep track of important dates like holidays, parent-teacher conferences, and special events.

• Understand what subjects are being taught and any key projects or assignments your child will have throughout the year. Teachers will publish all these details often early in the year.

• Get to know your child’s teachers, their teaching styles, and how to contact them for any concerns or questions. Every teacher will have a different style and knowing them will help you understand what they have to say.

• Familiarize yourself with the school’s policies on attendance, discipline, homework, and dress code. A school will always rely on their major policies especially when things go wrong.

• Learn about the extracurricular options available, such as sports teams, clubs, and arts programs, and encourage your child to participate.

• Be aware of any support services the school offers, like counselling, special education, tutoring, and health services.

• Find out how you can get involved, whether through volunteering, joining the PTA, or attending school board meetings. There are many day events across the year and perhaps tapping into these occasions will give you more awareness of school life.

• Know how the school communicates with parents (emails, newsletters, apps) and stay updated on any announcements or alerts.

• Understand the school’s safety protocols, including procedures for emergencies, lock downs, and how they handle bullying.

• Learn about the school’s culture, values, and any unique programs or initiatives they have to support student development.

• Know the details of your child's transportation options, including bus routes, pick-up/drop- off times, and safety rules.

Schools are complex places but when you feel connected to the school, doors are open a lot easier and your knowledge of school life will ease your anxieties when unhealthy rumours spread. It is simply a matter of being in touch across the year and together with your child, enjoying the experience of learning.

“Your child’s school should be a happy learning space for yourself as well as your child.”

— Gail J Smith