Raising Kids Who Care: Teaching Generosity & Compassion at Home
In a world that can sometimes feel harsh, teaching your child generosity and compassion is a profound gift. These qualities build resilience, strengthen relationships, and help shape confident, caring adults. Gail Smith shares how to instill these values in your kids, raising them to be a rainbow in someone else's cloud and to grow up truly changing the world.
In a world that often feels rushed and self-focused, generosity and compassion are more valuable than ever. Teaching your child these qualities isn’t just about being “nice”, it builds their resilience, strengthens relationships, and helps them grow into confident, caring adults.
Model it daily
Kids watch more than they listen. Let them see you holding the door open for a stranger, giving a sincere compliment, or offering help to someone in need. These small acts stick. What they see you do is what they think you are as a person.
Involve them in giving
When you donate food, money, or time, bring your child into the process. Let them help choose the canned goods, wrap the gift, or write the card. This turns giving into a family habit, not a one-off event. Have conversations with them as to why you choose to donate. Talk about the difference it makes to your life.
Practice empathy in everyday moments
When a friend is upset, ask your child, “How do you think they’re feeling? What could we do to help?” These conversations build emotional intelligence and awareness. Developing sensitivity to others is an important tool.
Celebrate acts of kindness
Recognize when your child shows compassion, whether it’s sharing a snack or comforting a classmate. This reinforces the value of caring without turning it into a competition. Let them see that being kind is a sign of strength.
Make it part of family culture
Start a “kindness jar” where family members write down acts of generosity they’ve done or seen. Read them together once a week, it’s a powerful reminder that small actions matter. Talk about the value of kindness and how it has had an impact on your life.
Generosity and compassion aren’t skills to tick off a list, they’re regular ways of living. When you weave them into your family’s daily life, your child won’t just learn to care, they’ll grow up to change the world. For them it will be an automatic response in a world that can be from time to time harsh.
“Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.”
FEEL SAFE AND BE SAFE IS GOOD MENTAL HEALTH FOR YOUR CHILD
Emotional safety is the foundation of good mental health. When children feel safe with you, their confidence and resilience grow. In this blog, Gail Smith shares simple, practical habits you can build into everyday life to help your child feel secure, supported, and strong.
Keeping your child feeling safe can happen through sound basic habits.
Consider:
Be their safe place
Let your child know they can talk to you about anything—no judgement, no overreaction. Just calm, caring presence. This also means keeping the volume of your voice down.
Help them name their feelings
Use gentle words to label emotions: “You look frustrated” or “Are you feeling nervous?” Naming feelings helps kids manage them better. It also takes the sting out of the words.
Create calming routines
Predictable routines give kids a sense of control and comfort, especially during transitions like bedtime or coming home from school. Talk about the routines and have them visual around the house.
Stay calm yourself
Your mood sets the tone at home. When you stay grounded, you help your child feel steady, too. A child’s radar goes up quickly when they detect frustration from you. After that they shutdown.
Focus on connection, not just correction
When your child makes a mistake, connect first—then guide. Try “Help me understand what happened,” instead of punishment right away. If upset create space before dealing with the issue. This helps you calm down.
Celebrate little wins
Praise effort, kindness, courage, things that build inner strength. It tells your child, you are more than just your results. The effort is what we are rewarding.
Model self-care
Show them what it looks like to rest, breathe, talk things out, and ask for help. Kids copy what they see. A calm parent tells their child they are approachable.
These small choices add up. Every time your child feels emotionally safe with you, their confidence and resilience grow.
"I Just Don’t Know How to Help!" – A Parent’s Guide to Coping When School Gets Tough
Let’s take a closer look at how to gently support your child when school becomes a challenge. With slow, steady support, regular check-ins, and working through the ups and downs together, you’ll be showing them the kind of care that builds trust and resilience. Let’s break it down and explore how you can navigate this journey together.
Being a parent isn’t easy at the best of times, but when your child is upset about school or you’re worried they’re falling behind, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder: Should I speak to the teacher? Should I push harder or back off? What if I make it worse?
You're not alone. Many parents feel this way. Let’s talk about what to do when school feels difficult for your child and for you.
Start with Listening
When a child says, “I hate school,” or “I’m bad at reading,” our instinct is often to jump in with reassurance or solutions. But first, just listen. Give them your full attention even just 5 minutes of focused listening can unlock what’s really going on.
Try saying:
• “I am wondering how school went today.”
• “That sounds tough. I’d feel upset too.”
Remember this is not about giving them the answers. At this stage it is simply listening and feeling their concern.
Break the Problem Into Small Pieces
Big school problems often have small, manageable parts. Once your child feels heard, you can gently help them name the problem.
Example issues:
• “I don’t get maths” might actually mean “I got stuck on subtraction.”
• “No one likes me” might mean “Two friends wouldn’t play with me today.”
Help your child zoom in. Small problems are easier to talk about and easier to solve. For the child at the time, they seem insurmountable.
Make a Simple Action Plan (Together)
Children feel more confident when they’re part of the solution. They need to feel ownership of the issue. Once you've listened and broken the problem down, brainstorm one small step together.
Examples of action steps:
• Practising reading at home to build confidence
• Writing a short note to the teacher about a worry
• Role-playing what to say to a friend at playtime
For you: Don’t hesitate to send a quick message to the teacher. A simple, kind email like “My child is a bit anxious about PE. Any suggestions?” can open a helpful door.
Let Go of "Perfect"
You don’t have to be a teacher or a therapist. You don’t need perfect answers. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Just showing up, listening, and caring makes a huge difference.
If you're trying, you're already helping. Being authentic shows the child you are really wanting to help.
Some Reassurance
Most school struggles are temporary. Children are resilient and bounce back, especially when they have a parent who’s in their corner. This is not about solving the problem for them but being there, listening and together working on solutions. If you, the parent, take full ownership of their problem, they will disengage from it and they will have learnt nothing.
Example:
Tom, age 9, was refusing to go to school. After some gentle chats, his dad realized Tom was scared about changing seats. A quick word with the teacher helped, and they worked out a solution. Within a week, Tom was back at school and smiling.
One Last Thought
When school is tough, it can feel like you're both in the storm. But storms pass. What matters most is that your child knows you're by their side..With slow and steady support, recognizing that it is a problem for them is critical to their sense of security. Working through the problem together and checking in to see how they are going is the best way to show you care.
Letting Go a Little: Why Gradual Independence Matters for Your Child’s Growth
Letting go a little doesn't mean stepping back; it means stepping alongside. Gail Smith shares how allowing our children to try, stumble, and learn with our support (not control) builds the confidence and independence they need to grow.
One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step back. We want to keep our children safe, happy, and successful, and sometimes that means we hold on too tightly and are frightened of them making mistakes. We need to start giving them gradual independence, little by little, day by day, even though some of this independence will mean making mistakes which can be upsetting.
We are not leaving them to figure things out alone. It means letting them try, stumble, learn, and succeed with our support, not our control. They learn to know we are there when really needed. If they think we are about control, they will step back and lose interest.
Why Does Gradual Independence Matter?
In today’s world, it can feel risky to let children do things on their own. However it is more risky not to enable your child to cope with the real world and to rely on others to solve problems. There’s pressure to protect them from failure, frustration, and even boredom. But the truth is:
✅ Children learn by doing, not by watching.
✅ Confidence comes from experience, not praise alone.
✅ Resilience is built through overcoming small challenges.
Gradually gaining independence awakens in the child a wonderful sense of personal satisfaction and confidence. It is quite liberating!
Real-Life Examples of Where It Matters
1. Getting Ready for School
It might be quicker (and tidier!) to pack their bag, zip their coat, and butter their toast. But every time we take over, we take away a learning opportunity.
💡 Instead:
Teach them how to check a simple morning list: bag packed, lunchbox in, coat on, shoes by the door. It’ll take patience at first, but it pays off fast, and they’ll feel proud doing it themselves.
2. Friendships and Play
If your child says, “He won’t play with me,” it’s tempting to jump in and fix it. But these small moments are chances to learn negotiation, sharing, and handling disappointment.
💡 Instead:
Ask questions like: “What could you try next time?” or “How do you think he felt?” Help them think through solutions but let them do the talking.
3. Homework and Learning
You want your child to succeed, so it’s natural to sit beside them and guide every step. But they need to learn how to think, not just how to get the answer. This may involve learning from mistakes.
💡 Instead:
Support them to plan their time, set up a quiet space, and check their own work. You’re building independence and responsibility. Homework is also the responsibility of the school and child, not the parent.
4. Problem Solving
From a forgotten jumper to a missed club, let children experience small consequences safely.
💡 Instead:
If they forget something, avoid racing to school with it. Next time, they’ll remember. These low stakes “failures” teach responsibility better than lectures ever could.
What Gets in the Way?
Fear of failure: We worry a mistake will hurt their confidence, but small stumbles teach big lessons.
Time pressure: Life is busy, and doing it ourselves is faster, but it delays learning.
Wanting to protect: We want to shield them from discomfort, but facing challenges with our support grows courage. Children want to feel in control.
How to Start Giving Gradual Independence
Think of it like riding a bike:
1. You hold the saddle.
2. You run beside them.
3. You let go... but stay nearby.
4. You cheer them on even if they wobble.
Every step tells them:
“You’re capable. I believe in you. I feel very happy when I see you showing independence.”
Final Thought: Independence Isn’t the End of Parenting, It’s Part of It
Gradual independence actually brings your child closer to you. It’s about walking beside them while they grow stronger legs. When we give children the space to try, we give them the chance to thrive, and they value the gradual freedom you give them.
So let go, just a little, and watch what they can do. See how creative and confident they become as they happily take charge of their own life.
Simple ways to help your child with their anxiety issues
Today’s children are growing up in a world filled with pressure from school demands to social media and even the stress they sense from adults. It’s no surprise that anxiety is becoming more common in younger children. The good news? We can teach them how to cope and thrive. Building resilience doesn't mean they'll never face challenges. It means they'll have the tools to bounce back, try again, and keep moving forward. And that’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
If you’ve ever felt like your child worries more than they should, or gets overwhelmed by small setbacks, you’re not alone. Today’s children are growing up in a world full of pressure: school demands, social media, the news, even our own stress. It's no wonder anxiety is showing up more in younger children.
However we can teach them how to be resilient,
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Young Children?
Children often don’t say “I’m anxious”, instead, it shows up in their behaviour:
They might refuse to go to school.
They complain of tummy aches with no medical cause.
They get tearful or angry when a routine changes.
They say things like, “I can’t do it” or “Everyone’s better than me.”
They become silent
Sound familiar? These are all ways that anxiety can appear in children, especially in the early years and primary school.
So, What Can Parents Do Right Now?
1. Name the Feeling
Young children often feel better just from knowing what they’re feeling has a name.
Instead of saying: “Don’t worry — it’s nothing.”
Try: “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit nervous. That’s okay — we all feel like that sometimes.”
This helps them recognize and label emotions, which is the first step in managing them.
2. Model 'Brave Behaviour'
Children learn most from what they see. If they watch you facing challenges (even small ones) with a steady attitude, they start to believe they can do the same.
For example:
“I’ve got a big presentation at work today and I feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and I’m going to try my best.”
This shows that being nervous is normal, and that bravery means doing things even when we feel a bit scared. Show them it’s all about taking control of those nervous feelings.
3. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Instead of focusing on whether something was done perfectly, celebrate the effort.
For example:
“I saw you kept trying with that tricky puzzle. That was brilliant persistence!”
This builds a growth mindset, helping children see setbacks as part of learning, not signs of failure.
4. Small actions count
Encourage small acts of courage every day. Start with achievable steps, like putting their hand up in class, or trying a new food and celebrate them. Multiple small achievements that are praised make a big difference!
Make a “Brave Jar” at home: every time your child does something that feels brave, they get to put a marble or token in the jar. Watch it grow!
5. Create Calm Routines
Predictable routines help anxious children feel safe. Try keeping mornings calm and consistent, breakfast, brushing teeth, packing bags in the same order. Same organized routine for nigh time.
6. Watch Your Own Anxiety
Children are emotional sponges. If you’re often saying, “I’m so stressed,” or showing panic in tough situations, they will absorb that.
Take moments to breathe, pause, and model calm responses even when you’re faking it a bit. You’re teaching emotional regulation without saying a word. Try to avoid words about yourself like stress, anxious, frightened ,weak, vulnerable.
When Should You Seek Help?
If your child’s anxiety is stopping them from taking part in everyday life, refusing school regularly, withdrawing from friends, or having frequent meltdowns, it might be time to talk to the teacher, your GP, school councillor or a child therapist.
Final Thought: Bravery Grows Slowly — But It Grows
Raising a resilient child doesn’t mean they’ll never struggle. It means they’ll know how to bounce back, try again, and keep going. That’s the greatest gift we can give them. It’s called resilience.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Let them see that we are not all perfect. Just walk alongside them, name the feelings, and keep reminding them: “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”
“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.”
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It
Supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Gail Smith shares simple yet effective ways that you can apply to make a real difference in supporting your child's mental health.
School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.
Consider:
Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too
Kids can't manage what they can't name.
Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:
• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”
• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”
Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”
Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.
Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School
Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.
Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:
• 20 minutes of quiet play
• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa
• Listening to music together
Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results
When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:
• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”
• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”
Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.
Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed
Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.
Ask casually:
• “Who did you hang out with today?”
• “What was the best part of playtime?”
If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.
Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.
Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up
If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.
Example email you could send:
"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."
Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.
“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”
How to Help Your Child Thrive at School Without the Stress!
School life is full of twists, turns, and loop-the-loops. As a parent, you’re the safety harness, keeping your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s the quick-start guide to helping your child navigate school life with confidence and ease.
School life can be a roller coaster—exciting one day, exhausting the next! As a parent, you’re the safety harness that keeps your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you best support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s your quick-start guide:
Be Their Cheerleader, Not Their Coach
Your child needs to know you’re on their team. Celebrate effort over results, and remind them that mistakes are part of learning. A simple “I love how hard you tried!” can work wonders.
Create a ‘Safe Space’ at Home
Home should be a refuge, not an extension of the classroom. Keep homework sessions stress-free, encourage breaks, and make time for laughter. A relaxed child learns better!
Listen More Than You Talk
Ask open-ended questions: “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you think today?” Let them open up on their terms. Sometimes, they just need to vent! Sometimes they just want to also be silent
Teach Resilience, Not Perfection
Life at school won’t always be smooth sailing. Help them handle setbacks with confidence. Instead of fixing problems for them, guide them to find their own solutions. Develop independent thinking in your child.
Prioritise Sleep, Food & Fun
Tired, hungry kids struggle. A good routine, healthy meals, and plenty of play keep their energy and mood in check. A happy child learns better than a stressed one.
Stay Connected (Without Hovering!)
Be involved—know their friends, show up at school events, chat with teachers. But avoid micromanaging! Your child needs space to grow independently.
Lead by Example
If you stay positive about school, they’ll pick up on that. Show enthusiasm for learning, handle challenges calmly, and they’ll mirror your mindset.
Your support doesn’t have to be complicated. Just being present, listening, and creating a positive home environment can make all the difference. So, go on, cheer them on, lift them up, and enjoy the journey together!
“Learning for your child will happen anywhere and at anytime if they are happy and secure.”
It’s all in the effort with Parenting
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need an authentic one. The love, dedication, and effort you pour into each day mean far more than striving to get everything right.
Parenting is a journey, not a performance—there’s no perfect script, and mistakes are part of the process. Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent; they need a real one. The love, effort, and care you put in every day matter more than getting everything right. By showing your child how to navigate challenges, apologize when needed, and keep trying, you’re teaching them resilience and authenticity. So take a deep breath—your best is often more than enough.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
Helping Your Child Navigate Friendships and Challenges
Navigating friendships, forming them, losing them, and finding new ones is a natural part of childhood and essential for social and emotional growth. Here are five impactful ways parents can guide their children in fostering strong, healthy friendships and overcoming the challenges that come with them.
Friendships play a huge role in a child's school experience, shaping their confidence, happiness, and even their academic success. But as every parent knows, friendships come with ups and downs — disagreements, peer pressure, and the heartbreak of feeling left out. Here are five powerful ways parents can help their children build strong, healthy friendships while overcoming challenges.
1. Teach Empathy Through Storytelling
Children who understand how others feel are more likely to form meaningful friendships and handle conflicts with kindness.
Example: If your child tells you a friend was unkind, instead of immediately taking sides, ask: “How do you think they were feeling? Why might they have acted that way?” Reading books about friendship together or sharing your own childhood stories can help children develop empathy and perspective.
2. Role-Play Difficult Social Situations
Many children struggle to know what to say or do in tricky situations. Practising responses in a safe environment can give them the confidence to handle challenges.
Example: If your child is feeling left out at playtime, practise possible conversations:
“Can I join in?” or “Hey, do you want to play together today?”
If they’re dealing with a bossy friend, teach them how to say:
“I like playing with you, but I also want to make my own choices.”
3. Model Positive Friendships at Home
Children learn the most about relationships by watching their parents. If they see you handling disagreements respectfully and maintaining friendships, they’ll follow suit.
Example: If you have a disagreement with a friend or partner, show your child how to resolve it with kindness. Say things like:
“I was upset earlier, but I talked to my friend, and we worked it out.
This teaches them that disagreements don’t mean the end of a friendship—they can be worked through.
4. Encourage a ‘Wide Net’ of Friends
Relying on just one friend can be risky—if there’s a fallout, children can feel completely alone. Encourage them to be open to different friendships.
Example: If your child always plays with the same person, suggest inviting another classmate to join an activity. Say:
“I love that you and Emily are close! Why don’t we invite Mia over too?”
Encouraging group friendships helps children avoid being overly dependent on one person.
5. Teach Resilience When Friendships Change
Friendships naturally shift over time, and not every friendship lasts forever. Teaching your child to accept change helps them build emotional strength.
Example: If your child is upset that a friend has started playing with someone else, acknowledge their feelings but also provide perspective:
“It’s hard when friendships change, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find new great friends.”
Encourage activities where they can meet new friends, like clubs or sports, so they learn that one friendship ending isn’t the end of the world.
Forming friends, losing them and realigning yourself to new groups is a normal part of the childhood development in social and emotional growth. There will be disappointments and successes. There will be sharp reminders about how relationships can change and effect very quickly your well being. As a parent be a good listener and be inclusive with all their friends not showing judgement or bias. Your child needs to walk the road that will ultimately lead them to forming happy stable relationships that are inclusive and that build in them strong emotional intelligence.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.”
A child's mind is a garden—nurture it with love, or weeds of doubt will grow.
As caring parents, we play a vital role in shaping our children’s mental well-being. In this blog, we are exploring the thoughts that reflect the difference we can make to building good mental health in our children.
Your care shapes their mental world. The below thoughts reflect the difference we make to building good mental health in our children.
Your presence today builds their strength for tomorrow. Show up now—secure their future resilience.
Silence breeds shadows—talk to your child before the darkness grows.
Speak up to stop emotional struggles.
Your words are the bricks that build their self-worth.
Every word moulds their confidence.
Neglect the mind, and the heart will follow—mental health is family health.
Mental wellness starts at home.
A child’s laughter today is their shield for tomorrow’s battles.
Joy builds lifelong emotional armour.
You hold the key to unlocking their inner strength.
Your support empowers their resilience.
A parent’s love is the first line of defence against the world.
Your care protects their mental well-being.
Being a caring parent, recognizes that your work involves building strong mental health in your child.
“Promise me you’ll always remember you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”
Teach your child to like themselves
One of the keys to success is helping children accept and like who they are. They need to believe they deserve kindness and good things in life. Gail Smith shares why it's essential for parents to teach their kids self-acceptance and self-worth.
One of the keys to success is to accept and like who you are. A child needs to believe that they deserve to be treated well and that they deserve good things in their life. They need to nurture the belief that they are as good as anyone else. It takes time for a child to mature into really recognizing their own value so start early as a a parent in teaching them their worth.
Here are five reasons why parents need to teach their children to like and accept themselves, along with examples of how they can do it:
1. Builds Confidence
When children learn to accept themselves, they become more confident in their abilities and decisions. For example, if a child feels unsure about their looks or talents, parents can remind them of their strengths and help them embrace their uniqueness. Complimenting their efforts, not just results, can help reinforce this.
2. Develops Emotional Resilience
Self-acceptance helps children cope better with challenges and failures. Parents can encourage this by framing mistakes as learning opportunities. For instance, if a child doesn’t win a competition, remind them it’s okay to fail sometimes and that they still have value regardless of the outcome.
3. Promotes Healthy Relationships
Children who accept themselves are more likely to build strong, positive relationships because they don’t rely on others for validation. Parents can encourage healthy relationships by teaching their children not to compare themselves to others and to value friends who respect them for who they are.
4. Reduces Anxiety and Stress
When children are comfortable with who they are, they feel less pressure to meet unrealistic expectations. Parents can help by reassuring their children that they don’t have to be perfect. For example, if a child is stressed about grades, parents can focus on the effort and improvement rather than demanding perfection.
5. Fosters Independence and Decision-Making
Self-accepting children trust themselves and their instincts, leading to better decision-making. Parents can nurture this by allowing children to make age-appropriate choices, like choosing their clothes or hobbies, while guiding them gently without taking control. This shows them that their opinions matter. By teaching self-acceptance, parents provide their children with the emotional tools they need to lead happier, more fulfilling lives.
As the parent show your child how your life reflects treating yourself with dignity and nurture. Your lifestyle and self-management will be watched carefully by your child.
“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will makes them successful human beings.”
Opinions: Can be damning to a child if not managed well
Everyone has opinions, but it’s important to teach children not to base their self-worth on what others think. Gail Smith shares tips on how to help kids understand that they are capable of making good decisions for themselves and should trust their own judgment.
We all have opinions. What we need to teach our children is that you do not judge yourself on what others think of you. From an early age we remind our children that they are worthy of making good judgements for themselves.
Teach your children that:
• What other people say about or to you can only affect you if you believe them. This is all about building their self worth.
• You are in charge of how you feel. When you get others bringing you down keep reminding yourself that they have no value at all.
• No one can make you feel inferior without our consent, said Eleanor Roosevelt. Therefore, you do not give anyone consent to put you down.
• Be proud of your opinions and know that they are valued. Not everyone may believe them but they are yours to own and to express to others. After all success comes from believing in yourself.
• Gravitate around positive people that are not in the habit of bringing people down. This makes for happier lasting friendships.
• People that have strong opinions about others are usually very poor listeners and are not interesting to be around as a friend. In fact they can bring you down very easily as they control the conversations usually in a negative way.
• Choose friends wisely as this will be a big boost to a happy childhood.
Finally teach your children that you are there to listen to them with no judgement and that you value what they have to say. With affirming parenting, they will take advantage of your wisdom.
“Listen to your child’s opinions and applaud their creative approach to life.”
Teaching children about the value of making good choices
It’s important to encourage our children to recognize the difference and to understand that their choices can shape their lives in profound ways. Who they become is a reflection of the decisions they make. Gail Smith emphasizes the importance of empowering children to make their own choices, highlighting the positive impact it can have on their growth and development.
We can all choose to make choices that can either hinder or enlighten our lives. For example you can choose to have a go or you can choose to not have a go. We should encourage our children to learn the difference and to understand that when we make those choices they can affect our life in different ways.
Who we are is a result of the choices we make.
Consider the following ideas about the impact on a child when they make their own choices:
Promotes Responsibility: When children learn that their choices have consequences, they develop a sense of accountability. They understand that choosing to work hard or make responsible decisions directly impacts their success and happiness.
Builds Self-Confidence: Allowing children to make choices reinforces their belief in their own abilities. Whether they succeed or fail, knowing that they had the power to choose builds confidence in their decision-making skills.
Fosters Independence: By making their own decisions, children learn to rely on themselves instead of always seeking approval or guidance from others. This fosters independence and helps them navigate life with more confidence.
Develops Critical Thinking: When children are taught to weigh the pros and cons of their choices, they develop critical thinking skills. They learn how to assess situations, predict outcomes, and make thoughtful decisions rather than impulsive ones.
Supports Emotional Growth: Understanding that they have control over their actions and thoughts (e.g. choosing to think positively) helps children manage their emotions. They learn that their choices can influence how they feel and respond to situations, which is key to emotional resilience.
These lessons empower children to shape their lives with intention and self-awareness. Don’t forget to affirm them when you see positive outcomes from choices they make themselves.
“The more a child experiences positive outcomes from making good choices, the more insight they develop about themselves.”
Let’s look at conversations to have with your child
By having regular, open conversations, parents can nurture a positive outlook in their child’s life. Here are five meaningful topics parents can frequently discuss to support mental health, instill confidence, and remind children that they are always loved. Read on to learn how these conversations can help your child grow with confidence and emotional security.
Here are five great conversation topics that parents can frequently discuss with their children to support mental health, foster a positive disposition, and reassure them of being loved. Frequent positive reminders are healthy ways to give a positive outlook to a growing child and to build emotional intelligence.
Emotions and Feelings
Topic: "How are you feeling today? It's okay to have all kinds of emotions."
Purpose: Encourage emotional expression and validation of feelings. This helps children understand that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that their feelings are important.
Reassuring Message: "No matter how you feel, I'm always here to listen and support you."
Self-Worth and Inner Strength
Topic: "What do you think makes you special or unique?"
Purpose: This encourages self-reflection and builds self-esteem by helping the child recognize their strengths, talents, and individuality.
Reassuring Message: "You are amazing just the way you are, and I love you for who you are."
Challenges and Problem-Solving
Topic: "What was something challenging today, and how did you handle it?"
Purpose: Encouraging conversations about handling challenges reinforces resilience and problem-solving skills, helping children approach difficulties with a positive mindset.
Reassuring Message: "No matter what happens, you’re strong, and I believe in your ability to get through tough times."
Gratitude and Positivity
Topic: "What are three things you’re thankful for today?"
Purpose: Fostering gratitude can shift the focus toward the positive aspects of life, promoting optimism and mental well-being.
Reassuring Message: "Even when things are hard, there’s always something good, and I’m grateful to have you in my life."
Love and Belonging
Topic: "What’s something fun we could do together soon?"
Purpose: Strengthen the parent-child bond by focusing on shared experiences, making the child feel valued and connected.
Reassuring Message: "You are always loved, no matter what, and spending time with you makes me happy."
Frequent conversations on these topics not only build a child's mental resilience but also provide the emotional security that they are loved and supported unconditionally. Every child needs reassurance and will from time to time need that extra reassurance that their world is fine.
“A parent’s positive reassurance is a life line to a child.”
Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent
As parents, it's easy to focus solely on our children's well-being and overlook our own. However, maintaining our own mental and physical health is crucial for effective parenting. Gail Smith explains how prioritizing self-care enhances our ability to be the best parents we can be. Keep your well-being at the forefront to savor the joys of parenting.
We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.
The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.
Consider:
Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.
Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.
Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.
Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.
When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.
“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”
What do we as parents expect from our children?
Becoming a parent means transitioning into a consultant role for your child as they grow and become more responsible for their own lives. Your steady support and guidance will shape their future significantly. Gail Smith shares some essential considerations for parents as we navigate the challenges that concern us or cause discontent.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to reflect on what we expect from our children. In doing this we can challenge ourselves about how we tackle issues that worry us or make us discontent. Also it encourages us to reflect on our expectations and to question the standards we set for our children.
Consider:
Respect: Parents want their children to treat them and others with respect, including following instructions, listening attentively, and showing empathy. Of course they will learn much about respect from our own modelling.
Responsibility: Parents hope their children will take responsibility for their actions, chores, and commitments, demonstrating independence and accountability. In taking responsibility they will need to be gradually given more independence.
Success: Parents desire their children to succeed in various aspects of life, whether academically, professionally, or personally, achieving their goals and aspirations. Remember to set expectations that are realistic and not simply your dreams. This can be a CHALLENGE FOR SOME PARENTS.
Happiness: Above all, parents want their children to be happy and content, pursuing activities and relationships that bring them joy and fulfilment. By giving them many and varied opportunities to experience life will create a thirst for more, especially in seeking happiness.
Kindness: Parents value kindness and compassion in their children, hoping they will be considerate and helpful towards others, fostering positive relationships and community spirit. This is where good modelling is important. Surround your children with well balanced people as well.
Resilience: Parents wish for their children to develop resilience and perseverance, being able to overcome challenges and setbacks with determination and resilience. If you want them to be risk takers let them solve their own problems and encourage self determination.
Independence: Parents want their children to become independent individuals capable of making decisions, solving problems, and taking care of themselves as they grow older. This requires you the parent to gradually let go and allow your child to make their own mistakes and deal with the consequences.
Communication: Parents appreciate open and honest communication with their children, fostering trust and understanding in their relationship. Therefore be an effective listener and respect their conversations. Try not to judge what they have to say but rather allow them to express their feelings and beliefs openly.
Gratitude: Parents hope their children will be grateful for the love, support, and opportunities provided to them, showing appreciation for what they have and for the efforts of others. For them to show gratitude you will need to be a grateful and humble person yourself.
Health and Safety: Above all, parents want their children to be healthy, safe, and secure, both physically and emotionally, prioritizing their well-being above everything else. You can help here by encouraging your child to be physically active and by building their personal confidence they grow stronger intellectually and emotionally.
As the parent you gradually become a consultant to your child as they grow older and take over their own responsibility for their life. Your strong and consistent presence will have a long lasting impact on your child.
“The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.”
Building resilience in girls around today's Social Challenges
By instilling positive thinking and self-support skills, we can help our girls grow into strong, confident individuals capable of making informed decisions for their safety and well-being. Gail Smith shares her insights on what we, as parents, can do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer.
We have all been appalled and shocked by the recent outbreaks of violence to women. There is much to address in this serious matter and it is a socially distressing sign that all is not well in our society.
Here I am thinking of how parents can be so helpful in building strength in our girls to support their growing years where they are forming ideas, values and most importantly long lasting self worth. I have always been a great believer that the stronger the girl, the more personally confident they are in making choices with friends, partners etc. that will be the very best for them.
The recent tragedies indicate that we have much to do to educate men on how to treat women and how to respect and value them in the highest possible way. This will not happen overnight and so I now turn my attention to how we can strengthen our girls to be observant, mature and feel confident enough to walk away from situations that make them unsafe. This is not as easy as it sounds and in many cases it may be impossible as we have seen from some recent tragedies. However, what can we as parents do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer. Our role is vital in giving our girls skills in supporting themselves.
Consider:
• always talk positively to your girl and reassure them that they are worthwhile and a valued member of the family. Use effective language around them that makes them feel good about themselves. Definitely no put downs or sarcasm that can lead to feelings of doubt about themselves. Take care to ensure that male siblings treat their sister with respect at all times.
• Encourage their independence affirming them when they show an ability to initiate and create new ways of being. Let them be themselves.
• Allow them to have a strong voice in the family. When they have something to say we listen with interest and belief in the worthwhile nature of what they have to say.
• Encourage them to play sport and get involved in team games building personal stamina and physical fitness. Sport is great for building leadership qualities. A strong girl is one that can engage across many environments and is constantly growing physically, intellectually and emotionally.
• Formal education is a wonderful way to escape social dependency. When a girl is articulate and feels a capable learner, they are using their intellect to feel strong. This is a wonderful way of self empowerment. Education is liberating.
• In their tentative years they will be in and out of friendship groups. Keep the conversations alive about how important their friendship groups are to making them feel stronger. They will have disappointments, but hopefully will learn who really constitutes a true friend.
• Take care not to be quick to place judgement on their decisions. They need to feel that their opinions count. This is where you keep talking to them. Have healthy discussions about what they value and let them see how you are happy to negotiate with them to ease them into more independence. Their voice counts in your family.
• Modelling your own beliefs about how girls should be treated is vital as an effective parent. Show them that you will not tolerate poor treatment of women in your own life and you have high expectations of their ability to be successful.
• Talk about some great examples of womanhood that you admire. Talk about what makes them strong and encourage your girl to aspire to being a strong, capable women.
These ideas are just to remind us that as parents we can start to develop positive thinking in our girls about their self worth and capabilities from a very early age. A girl's foundational years can strongly influence their self perception and their confidence and intuition to make well informed decisions that will give them happy outcomes in their life. We want them fully in charge of themselves.