Raising a Confident Child in Today’s Classroom: 5 Surprising Ways Parents Can Help

Let’s face it: school can be a confidence minefield. Whether it’s answering a question in front of the class, navigating friendship drama, or simply speaking up when they need help, many children hold back, often because they don’t believe in themselves and they are just not socially sure of themselves.

As a parent, you’re in the perfect position to quietly build that belief. Confidence needs to be lived, practised, and grown like a muscle.

Here are 5 innovative, real-world ideas to help your child grow in confidence at school and beyond.

1. Let Your Child Be the Expert (at Home and in Public)

Why it works: When children teach something, they feel powerful and valued. Explaining ideas helps them process and internalize knowledge, and boosts their confidence to speak out in class.

Try this:

• Ask your child to explain a concept they’re learning like fractions, life cycles, or even a new word and record a mini “teaching video” for a grandparent or cousin.

• Out in the world? Ask them to order the food, check the train times, or explain a museum exhibit to you like they’re your tour guide.

The more they hear their own voice doing real life activities in a responsible way the more they grow sure of themselves.

2. Schedule One “Mini Risk” a Week

Why it works: Confidence comes from doing, especially things that feel a bit uncomfortable. Regular small challenges build resilience and trust in their own ability.

Try this:

Make a “Mini Risk Jar” with your child. Fill it with fun, doable dares:

• Ask a new friend to play

• Try a new club

• Put your hand up once a day

• Present a joke at dinner

• Talk about any risks you have taken recently.

Celebrate attempts, not outcomes. Praise the trying, not the success. Comment on the effort made and how this is successful.

3. Ditch “Be Confident”. Say This Instead

Why it works: “Be confident” is vague. Kids need tools. Swapping language helps them link confidence to specific actions.

Try this:

Replace “Be confident” with:

• “Speak like you’re helping someone understand”

• “Stand like a superhero, feet planted, eyes up”

• “Remember, your voice is a gift”

Real story: A dad told his son, “Stand like Spider-Man before he saves the day.” The next morning, the boy stood taller during show-and-tell and actually smiled.

4. Let Them Hear You Fail (and Bounce Back)

Why it works: Children often believe adults are always right, always perfect. When you model what it looks like to get something wrong and keep going, you give them permission to do the same. Be authentic and let them see the real you with warts and all.

Try this:

• Talk aloud about your mistakes: “I totally messed up that email but here’s how I fixed it.”

• Share how you felt, what you did next, and how you kept perspective.

“I told my son about how I froze during a meeting. He said, ‘That’s like when I forgot my line in the play!’ Suddenly, we were teammates.”

5. Confidence Grows in the Quiet, Too

Why it works: Not all confidence is loud. Some children shine by preparing quietly and leading gently. That’s not shyness, it’s strength.

Try this:

• Create “backstage” confidence moments: help them prep for a class talk with cue cards or rehearse a social scenario with stuffed animals.

• Praise thoughtful acts: “You noticed Ella was left out. That’s real leadership.”

• Remind them: confidence isn’t always about being first, it’s about being ready.

• Affirm those quiet moments when you notice behaviour that is helpful to others.

A Final Word

Confidence is not a personality trait—it’s a learnt skill. And like any skill, it grows best with practice, praise, and patience. Every child will be different in how they show confidence and for some it is a slow, steady progress. We need to be patient.

You don’t need to push your child to be the loudest, the fastest, or the most outgoing. You just need to show them they’re seen, heard, and capable, especially when they doubt it. Let them develop their voice in their own time.

Start small. Celebrate progress. And trust that each brave step they take, no matter how tiny, is shaping a stronger future.

Letting Go a Little: Why Gradual Independence Matters for Your Child’s Growth

One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step back. We want to keep our children safe, happy, and successful, and sometimes that means we hold on too tightly and are frightened of them making mistakes. We need to start giving them gradual independence, little by little, day by day, even though some of this independence will mean making mistakes which can be upsetting.

We are not leaving them to figure things out alone. It means letting them try, stumble, learn, and succeed with our support, not our control. They learn to know we are there when really needed. If they think we are about control, they will step back and lose interest.

Why Does Gradual Independence Matter?

In today’s world, it can feel risky to let children do things on their own. However it is more risky not to enable your child to cope with the real world and to rely on others to solve problems. There’s pressure to protect them from failure, frustration, and even boredom. But the truth is:

✅ Children learn by doing, not by watching.

✅ Confidence comes from experience, not praise alone.

✅ Resilience is built through overcoming small challenges.

Gradually gaining independence awakens in the child a wonderful sense of personal satisfaction and confidence. It is quite liberating!

Real-Life Examples of Where It Matters

1. Getting Ready for School

It might be quicker (and tidier!) to pack their bag, zip their coat, and butter their toast. But every time we take over, we take away a learning opportunity.

💡 Instead:

Teach them how to check a simple morning list: bag packed, lunchbox in, coat on, shoes by the door. It’ll take patience at first, but it pays off fast, and they’ll feel proud doing it themselves.

2. Friendships and Play

If your child says, “He won’t play with me,” it’s tempting to jump in and fix it. But these small moments are chances to learn negotiation, sharing, and handling disappointment.

💡 Instead:

Ask questions like: “What could you try next time?” or “How do you think he felt?” Help them think through solutions but let them do the talking.

3. Homework and Learning

You want your child to succeed, so it’s natural to sit beside them and guide every step. But they need to learn how to think, not just how to get the answer. This may involve learning from mistakes.

💡 Instead:

Support them to plan their time, set up a quiet space, and check their own work. You’re building independence and responsibility. Homework is also the responsibility of the school and child, not the parent.

4. Problem Solving

From a forgotten jumper to a missed club, let children experience small consequences safely.

💡 Instead:

If they forget something, avoid racing to school with it. Next time, they’ll remember. These low stakes “failures” teach responsibility better than lectures ever could.

What Gets in the Way?

• Fear of failure: We worry a mistake will hurt their confidence, but small stumbles teach big lessons.

• Time pressure: Life is busy, and doing it ourselves is faster, but it delays learning.

• Wanting to protect: We want to shield them from discomfort, but facing challenges with our support grows courage. Children want to feel in control.

How to Start Giving Gradual Independence

Think of it like riding a bike:

1. You hold the saddle.

2. You run beside them.

3. You let go... but stay nearby.

4. You cheer them on even if they wobble.

Every step tells them:

“You’re capable. I believe in you. I feel very happy when I see you showing independence.”

Final Thought: Independence Isn’t the End of Parenting, It’s Part of It

Gradual independence actually brings your child closer to you. It’s about walking beside them while they grow stronger legs. When we give children the space to try, we give them the chance to thrive, and they value the gradual freedom you give them.

So let go, just a little, and watch what they can do. See how creative and confident they become as they happily take charge of their own life.

Encouraging your child to write well

Some children find writing a difficult task. They seem to feel blocked and struggle to start stories and certainly struggle to continue with them. Parents can help by providing some stimulating activities for their child to do that are not difficult but can motivate a child to write.

 Consider:

• Encourage Daily Journaling: Suggest that your child keep a daily journal. Writing about their day, feelings, or even imaginary stories can help them practise and improve their writing skills regularly.

•  Read Together Regularly: Expose your child to a variety of writing styles by reading together. Discuss the books, focusing on how different authors use language, structure their stories, and create vivid descriptions.

• Use Writing Prompts: Provide fun and engaging writing prompts to spark their creativity. Prompts like "Imagine you have a superpower for a day. What would you do?" can make writing exciting and less of a chore.

• Play Word Games: Engage in word games like Scrabble or Boggle. These games can expand vocabulary and improve language skills in a playful and interactive way.

• Incorporate Technology: Use writing apps and websites designed for kids. Programs like Grammar for Kids or fun writing games online can make writing more engaging and educational. Talk to your child’s teacher about what they would recommend.

• Write Letters: Encourage your child to write letters to family members, friends, or even pen pals. Writing letters can be a fun way to practise different writing and communication styles.

• Create a Family Newspaper: Start a family newspaper where everyone contributes articles, stories, or comics. This can be a collaborative project that makes writing a shared and enjoyable activity.

• Provide Constructive Feedback: When reviewing your child’s writing, offer positive feedback along with gentle suggestions for improvement. Focus on specific aspects, like adding more descriptive words or varying sentence structure.

• Use Visual Aids: Encourage your child to create storyboards or mind maps before writing. Visual planning can help them organise their thoughts and improve the overall structure of their writing.

• Set a Writing Example: Share your own writing with your child. Show them drafts, edits, and final versions to demonstrate the writing process and the importance of revision and improvement.

• Start A Sentence: Make it a game. You start a sentence, and they finish it. “Yesterday I found an interesting rock. It was……”

• Play with Reading Books: When you are reading a book occasionally stop. Let them see that the written word has power and invite your child to change the story. Perhaps they could suggest a different ending.

Have plenty of books and magazines around the house and occasionally read little segments from them out loud. A child's imagination will be enlivened when they begin to talk about their passions and interests. When they start to be motivated about something, encourage them to write about it. Let them see that the written word has power.

“When we write, we feel, see and hear the words.’

 -Gail J Smith

Building confidence in your child

From the moment a child is born there will be small signs of seeking independence. Perhaps ever so subtle but none the less there is a definite presence of wanting to be independent. As parents our role is to be the nurturer and provide safety and security for our child. For a parent, letting go of your responsibility can be difficult. Research tells us, that as a child reaches out for more independence, we demonstrate better parenting, if we gently walk with them as they take steps to strengthen their personal growth. There are many reasons why being alongside your child as they take independent steps is a mature way of parenting. Consider:

• Developing independence empowers children to believe in themselves and their abilities. As they accomplish tasks on their own, they gain confidence in their skills and decision-making capabilities. There is nothing like feeling successful when taking a new independent step.

• Independence fosters problem-solving skills. When children face challenges independently, they learn to think critically, adapt to new situations, and find creative solutions. They understand that they must rely on themselves and this does not frighten them.

• Learning to be independent instils a sense of responsibility in children. They understand the consequences of their actions and take ownership of tasks, fostering accountability and self-reliance. They will try different solutions to problems and not be intimidated by an occasional failure.

• Independence allows children to make decisions and choices on their own. Through these experiences, they learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and develop sound decision-making abilities. There is nothing more liberating than making your own decisions.

• Independence encourages self-reliance. Children become more resourceful and resilient as they learn to depend on themselves to accomplish tasks and overcome obstacles. They will ask questions but not expect to be given the answer.

• Developing independence prepares children for adulthood. By learning essential life skills and becoming self-sufficient, they gain the confidence and competence to thrive in the responsibilities of adulthood. Little by little they step into an adult world, well prepared with less surprises.

• Independence contributes to building healthy relationships. Children who are independent are better able to communicate their needs, assert boundaries, and engage in mutually respectful interactions with others. This is all about developing emotional maturity.

• Independence fosters a spirit of exploration and creativity. When children have the freedom to pursue their interests and ideas independently, they are more likely to discover new passions and talents. They become better risk takers and enjoy the challenge.

• Developing independence helps children form their own identity. As they make choices and pursue interests that align with their values and preferences, they gain a clearer sense of who they are and what they stand for. A child with such confidence will attract like minded children. This makes for forming healthy relationships.

In my experience as school principal, it was always the case that children who were given opportunities to demonstrate independence appeared happy and self assured. They engaged with all sorts of peers and were comfortable in many settings.

“Building independence in your child is all about sound parenting.”

— Gail J Smith

The Magic of Creative Thinking

Encouraging your child to be creative is such a critical part of their development. Remember, being creative is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about failure. It is all about the ability to express oneself in an open uncompromised way. Encouraging your child to be creative can be in many forms. It can be through art, plays, drama, music etc. It is all about the child expressing themselves and feeling satisfied that they find ways to do just that, be expressive!

• Encouraging your child's creativity is like unlocking a magical door to their imagination. It lets them explore new worlds of ideas, making everyday life more enchanting and filled with possibilities. Be open to all their ideas and place no judgement on their efforts.

• Creative activities are like giving your child a pair of confidence wings. As they let their creativity soar, they discover their own abilities and gain the self-assurance to take on new challenges. They become real risk takers.

• Creativity is an exciting adventure in the land of problem-solving. It's like giving your child a treasure map to navigate challenges, encouraging them to discover clever solutions with a spirit of curiosity. It also takes away the fear of failure.

• Creativity is like having a playground for the imagination. It lets your child swing from the heights of their dreams, slide into new possibilities, and build castles of ideas in the ever-expansive world of their own imagination.

• Creative activities offer your child an expressive color palette for their emotions. It's like painting a canvas with feelings, allowing them to express the vibrant hues of joy, the deep shades of introspection, and the bright tones of excitement.

• Fostering creativity is like packing a picnic basket of innovation for your child's future. It equips them with a delightful array of inventive snacks, ensuring they're ready to feast on fresh ideas and contribute uniquely to the ever-evolving feast of life.

“The power of imagination will be a driving force for your child’s creative process”

— Gail Smith

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

Catching good behaviour isn’t that difficult

 We certainly are quick to notice the behaviour that troubles us. We have an immediate reaction to stop it and deal with the matter which is annoying us. How often do we reward our child in spontaneous ways? Do we notice the various spontaneous occasions that can be rewarded and often through different ways?

Never underestimate the value of the positive words you use with your children. There is a clever way of getting even smarter with words and that is by picking up on spontaneous positive moments you notice.

‘You certainly have good manners. Thanks for passing the bread so quickly.’

‘I love the way you close the care door gently. It is good manners.’

‘I notice how you listen to your friends when they tell you, their stories. You are a very empathetic person.’

‘What a gentleman. You carried the groceries in to the kitchen.’

‘How happy you make me when I see how you care for your little brother.’

‘Thanks for picking up the mess. I am just too tired.’

‘You are such a fair person when you play games. You always share with the other person.’

Note that all the above are incidental statements that can be said on the run. The trick is to notice behaviour at a deeper level and comment on how they impact on you or are just simply noticed qualities you admire. The use of good language is important. Sometimes we forget to praise behaviour that is actually building emotional maturity. This involves affirming their generosity, kindness to others, empathy to children. If you think about today’s experiences, were there occasions where you could have simply noticed something you like about your child?

Once a child realises that you notice and appreciate them in different forms, they are more inclined to repeat that behaviour. What you notice about them is how you define them. Their sense of how they are valued comes from how you treat them and especially the words you use to describe them.

There are many ways to listen to your child and one special way is to affirm them in subtle ways.  You are listening to their rhythm of life and celebrating what makes them special.

‘Affirm people. Affirm your children. Believe in them, not in what you see but in what you don’t see. their potential.’

-Stephen R Covey

Curiosity boosts learning

Einstein was a famous one for telling everyone that without curiosity learning does not grow. He would argue that without his insatiable attitude for being curious he would not have made his discoveries about the universe.

By nature, children are curious. We see this in the young child who will explore everything in front of them. As the child grows, also grows a level of caution, it’s natural. As parents, we monitor what is safe and not so safe when it comes to being curious. This blog is to remind parents that curiosity can come in so many ways. Our role is to encourage it and to invite our children to explore the world through different lenses, understanding that within each lens, different perceptions develop.

To some degree developing curiosity is linked to developing independence and as the parents give the child more freedom, they begin to explore the world in their own way without boundaries. They experiment with more freedom and this will come with mistakes and success. In order to build curiosity in our children the following thoughts may help:

• A child can be curious in many ways that can be as simple as learning to cook, playing in the sandpit, studying recipes etc. through to learning about planets. The range is big, or small and is everywhere.

• The more we don’t give immediate answers but invite more questions, the child’s curiosity grows.

“Look at that beetle. I wonder why it goes in and out of the rock?”

• More questions beget more questions and so the probing goes deeper, the perceptions alter and alternative thinking develops strengthening and feeding our creative disposition. Here critical thinking begins.

• When the child sees that you enjoy being curious, they learn that the experience will be enjoyable for them and they can ask questions freely. Just giving answers does not excite the imagination and shuts down all creativity.

• When you listen to the news or read something of interest, use these occasions to discuss the curious nature of the article or news item. Children will soon learn that you invite conversations with them to learn more and enjoy the discussion together. This, to you, is seen as an effective way to work through issues, problems or simply to gain knowledge.

• This is a time when asking “why” a perfect way to invite curiosity. Children prefer this rather than straight answers. We are not always the bearer of all information, but we can be the bearer of many questions to explore different ways of looking at things.

• If your child knows that you will invite them into being curious, rather than just providing an answer, they will be more inclined to approach you with interesting thoughts and ideas. A child is naturally attracted to questioning, rather than just knowing the answer.

• Schools are actively teaching a method that invites gaining knowledge through asking questions. Your child, if at school age, will be familiar with this process, which to them is a natural form of learning. Talk to your child’s teacher to learn more about the Inquiry approach to learning.

• When you ask questions, rather than give an immediate response, you are telling your child that there could be many ways of looking at something. This is encouraging the child to see everything from various lenses. It presupposes that having a go and reflecting on different answers is not about making mistakes, but rather seeking out the truth and thinking with an open mind and being a critical thinker.

“What road do I take?”
“Well, where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”

“Then it doesn’t matter if you don’t know where you are going. Any road will get you there.”

— Alice in Wonderland

Teaching our children to take on responsibility

This is all about giving them gradual independence to manage themselves. As they grow in independence they will certainly come across situations where they are uncomfortable, exposed to failure and feel generally unsatisfied with their efforts. These are all-natural feelings. Sometimes as parents we think by taking the responsibility away from them, they will have less pain and besides what if they make a mistake? How will they feel?

As the child grows in independence, they also grow in taking on their own responsibility for things. This teaches them to own the situation. There is much satisfaction with a child when they start to take responsibility. This gives them a sense of self-worth and a feeling of growing up as a real person. There is nothing more enriching than having that feeling of making decisions yourself.

Our role as parents is to support this gradual development and watch with joy our young one taking on responsibility.

Teachers know that in order for children to learn effectively they need to take ownership of their learning. During the school day, teachers will provide situations where children will make informed decisions on what they learn and how they learn. At parent-teacher interviews, there is nothing more satisfying for a parent than to hear that their child is a responsible learner. This has come about by gradually learning to take risks and to make responsible choices for themselves.

Teachers know that success only comes from accepting responsibility.

You will be amazed how small opportunities to take on responsibility will increase self-esteem once they are successful in showing responsibility.

Consider the following thoughts to build stamina in your child with regard to taking on responsibility:

• Consider your own life situation. Are you a person that models responsibility and ownership of situations? Talk to your child about why this has been important to you over the years.

• Do you have a list of chores at home that your child must do as part of the family routine? Could these chores grow in responsibility as the child gets older and demonstrates their growing strength in this area?

• If you are having a holiday, get your child involved in the planning and being responsible for certain duties. Perhaps they take ownership of packing their bags, researching venues etc.

• Talk about the responsibility of doing tasks at school. We know that leadership develops in children who show strong skills in being responsible. School captains are chosen from those children who demonstrate strong skills in being responsible. Teachers frequently set up monitors in classrooms on a rotation basis giving children responsibilities to manage.

• Talk about how you value your child’s growing awareness and interest in taking on responsibility. Take care not to rescue your child too soon after disaster strikes as this will only disengage your child from taking on responsibility. It also delays any further interest in being responsible.

• For those children reticent to be independent, give them small opportunities to be independent. You will be amazed how this will grow once they are successful in showing responsibility.

• We live in a world where the safety of our children is paramount and to this end, I can understand how we are cautious parents in giving them too much responsibility and independence early.

I would argue that with gradual responsibility being handed to them, they are stronger and more confident young people. They are more observant of life around them when being responsible for themselves. They confidently and intuitively show skill in navigating their way around difficult situations and are much happier in themselves being in control.

“The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”

— Denis Waitley

Understanding how boys learn

This is such a big topic and, in some circles, quite controversial. Basing it on my observations and speaking to teachers over the years there is a clear difference in how our boys learn. Some schools do considerable professional development in this area to guide their work in the classroom.  However, experienced teachers will tell you that how a boy learns in most cases is very different from a girl.

When parents brought in their pre-schooler to talk about starting school, it was evident at that early age that children had a clear sense of who they were and what they preferred to play with. No surprise the girls wanted to draw and the boys gravitated around building blocks. There are arguments that suggest that at a very early age, preconceptual ideas of gender are formed and both boys and girls will have already learnt about society’s expectations on them. This article is not to discuss the bias that is placed on gender formation, but rather to remind boys parents that there are certainly important factors to consider if a boy is to learn well. These ideas are not exclusive to boys alone but are my observations of boys learning over many years.

“I realise that despite my tiredness, my son has the most fun when I do things his way…
Wild and loud. Go Big or go home.”

— PowerfulMothering.com

 Consider:

• A boy will tune into learning if it attracts them. Providing lessons that are highly stimulating and interactive is a winner with the boys. This tells us that providing boys with short sharp experiences often is attractive to their learning style.

• Boys can distract easily if disinterested. Once distracted, they are hard to bring back to the core of the lesson. Teachers have the challenge of providing short sharp focus time to keep them engaged.  Understandably at home when you lose their attention, it can be quite a task to bring them back to focus. Perhaps try not getting angry too quickly, but rather understand that it is the nature of boys.

• Intermittent sport across the school day is a great way of keeping the brain active and the boys engaged. I always found longer lessons were not as successful for the younger boys. In lockdown I am sure families found less pressure after short bursts of playing outside.

• In many cases boys can find learning to read, a harder process to learn. This can also apply to writing. Teachers have to think carefully when encouraging boys to write. The more abstract the concept, the less absorbed they become. When younger, they need very tangible experiences with writing especially. Reading also needs careful selection of books, as often fantasy is not their interest. Stories that are concrete and tangible are more their choice.

• Keeping the boys engaged in lessons is the skill of the teacher. Care is always taken to be inclusive and tolerant of different ways that a boy can present themselves in a classroom.

• Providing activities that are tangible and concrete can really stimulate a boy’s learning. This is where problem solving in a class can be a highly sort out activity. Boys can very competitive and sport, games etc. is an excellent way to keep their energy levels satisfied.

• Sometimes boys take a little longer to form their letter formation well and to write uninhibited. Slow, gentle encouragement is important here. Giving boys small objects to play with helps with motor skills. Of course, using Lego is a well-chosen activity for boys who like to build, create, design and to see something tangibly grow in their hands.

• As a parent, try not to jump in too quickly to correct and discipline boys. They need time to process and you need to be sure they understand what you have to say. Perhaps there is some truth in that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

• Boys value fairness and justice. They are quick to temper but from my observations they will forgive and move on with more speed than most girls. Mateship, connection and loyalty to friends plays a very big part in their life.

• The above simply highlights some features of boys which I have observed over the years. Parenting does require really understanding your child, being tolerant when necessary and encouraging where possible. As a role model, boys need to experience the full spectrum of positive values (love, compassion, empathy in parenting etc). Never underestimate the need to be gentle and fair in working with your son.

A great memory I keep is that one day two boys were sent to me for discipline. When I started talking to the boys they immediately wanted a negotiation.

“Look Mrs Smith it’s like this. We have made up now and we are friends. There is a footy game outside and we want to join in now. Can we do our consequences tomorrow?”

No surprises there were no consequences!

The potential of your child is immense

How magnificent it is when a child is born. At this point we envisage a wonderful life together as family. We dream of all the great potential of our special child. And so, you should. What can sometimes happen, as the years progress, it can cloud those hopes when we see unpleasant behaviour and our child challenges us in ways that are surprisingly uncomfortable. We can become fatigued by the onslaught of childhood and adolescent problems, that may appear, as our bundle of joy grows older.

What is worth keeping in mind is that the great potential you dreamt about with your newborn is ever-present. They are capable of so much and with our help can achieve in so many surprising ways.  They of course must journey through the rigour of childhood, which will naturally have periods where their dreams are clouded as well.

There is nothing more exciting than sitting in a classroom and observing the enthusiasm, interest and passion children show for their work. They are like sponges and are keen to absorb all the advice and stimulus that they can access.  This is such a liberating environment for bringing out a child’s potential. Of course, here I sit as someone who does not have the job of rearing the child. My observation looks at the child from a pure perspective and here I encourage parents to similarly keep a clear vision.

Your child has so much potential. Teachers know this and in clever ways tease out their strengths and encourage new thinking in each child. Sometimes all we need to do is encourage their ideas and affirm their interests and passions no matter how different they are to your line of thinking. Potential is driven by ongoing encouragement.

A child’s developing confidence will influence their ability to express their potentiality. Our job is to help build their confidence and demonstrate faith in their attempts to be stronger, louder and more expressive overtime.

 In classrooms, teachers look for a child’s potential and work to displaying their gifts and strengths through many and varied activities. It may not be through academics. It may be through sport, drama, art or music etc. When a child realises that they have strengths and that they are encouraged to develop them, a whole new world of hope and possibilities expands on their horizon.  Their self-confidence escalates and the world is their oyster.

Consider:

• Be open to your child’s potential no matter how different this may be from your own ambitions. Accept and celebrate their differences. The best comes out when they feel liberated to be themselves.

• Invite conversations around what they enjoy and what sparks their interests. Try not to direct their interests, but be guided by what they tell you. Listen with interest and not condemnation.

• Remember to affirm their passions and encourage their interests, as they are often stimulated by their developing potential.

• A child is a work in progress and over time their passions, interests and strengths will align if allowed to grow. This will lead to them reaching their potential over time. 

• Be the instrument that allows them to develop their potential by affirming, reassuring, allowing trial and error and above all seeing every attempt as success, not failure.

• Keep in mind that your child’s potential is unique to them. Sometimes we get confused when we see considerable difference in our children.  We can feel more reassured when they seem more like us. Their journey and potentiality are all about them. Best we celebrate the unique differences we see, rather than bemoan the lack of similarity in our children.

A child’s potential is such a wonderful part of their development. Your role is simply to open the doors and windows, to let in fresh possibilities for them to experience their potential.  You are building a strong foundation enabling your child to embrace what is their right, to reach their full potential.

“Free the child’s potential and you will transform them into the world.”

— Maria Montessori