Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.

Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.

• Prioritize and Delegate

Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.

• Embrace “Good Enough”

Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.

• Meal Planning and Prep

Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.

• Use Technology to Stay Organized

Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.

• Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.

• Practice Mindful Breaks

Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.

Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.

“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”

— Gail Smith

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

Six important parenting practices with an upbeat approach

Parenting sometimes needs an upbeat approach to getting children involved. This way it takes some of the burden away and lightens the whole idea that parenting is all about control and discipline.

1. Give Lots of High-Fives for Good Stuff

   When your child does something good, give them a high-five or a thumbs up! Make it a positive moment for both of you.
   For example: "Awesome job on your drawing! High-five for all your hard work!"

2. Make Clear Rules Like a Superhero Guide

   Be a superhero with clear rules. Imagine you're creating a superhero guide for your family.
   For example: "Our superhero guide says we have a bedtime routine to help us sleep like superheroes. What do you think?" Keep it light and amusing.

3. Talk and Listen Like Best Friends Do

   Talk and listen like you're each other's best friends.
   For example: "Tell me about your day! I'm here to listen, just like best friends do."

4. Show How It's Done, Super Parent Style

   Show your child how to be super by being a super parent!
   For example: "I'll show you how to clean up, and we'll be superheroes together! Ready?"

5. Let Them Be the Captain, with You as Co-Captain

   Your child is the captain, and you're the co-captain. Help them steer!
   For example: "You're in charge of choosing today's snack. Captain's choice!"

6. Create Fun Times, Like a Weekly Family Fiesta

   Have a weekly family fiesta with games, stories, or just hanging out.
   For example: "It's our special family time! What fun thing should we do this week for our family fiesta?"

   These ideas are all about creating a happy environment where the whole business of parenting is treated in a warm and engaging way with your child. Good parenting is about preventing problem behaviour and engaging with your child in a warm and authentic way. The more you listen effectively and give time, energy and love to your child, the more you will create the best climate to rear your child.

 ‘All children love a little theatre. Build it into your parenting’.

-Gail J Smith

How to motivate children to write

Teachers will work on teaching children the structures of writing. This does not have to be your job. However, there are some great ideas to stimulate your child to enjoy writing, These simple strategies can be applied at home and in an enjoyable way together. We want writing to simply flow from talking and reading.

Consider:

• Have fun making up sentences. For example. Start with: ‘Yesterday I learnt that……’ Let your child finish the sentence.

• Play the ‘And’ game.‘I opened my wardrobe and……’ ‘I walked to the park and….’

• Have an ideas book. Encourage them to write in it when they get an idea for a story. At the end of the week read out the ideas and have a chat together.

• Find a special writing space in your house. Make it creative with plenty of light and encourage children to use it when they get ideas for a story.

• Always have the writing materials available and ready to be used.

• Have fun in the car. ‘There I see a sad man on the corner. He looks…….’ Let them finish the sentence.

• When your child does write a story you can turn it into a book quite easily.

• Some children especially boys are more practical and like writing about real items. Suggest they write about their bike, ball games, sports activities, Lego sets etc. It does not have to be about fantasy all the time. Excellent writers can be practical writers who enjoy writing for a purpose.

• Encouraging drawing can lead to writing and this is helpful, especially for the reluctant young writer. Let them talk to you about their drawings and hear the story behind them.

• Be the model and write a lot. Keep all your lists available to be read. Together write messages that need to be remembered and used.

• Write a letter to someone together.

• When reading to your child invite them to make up a different ending to the story or perhaps change the beginning or introduce new characters. Read together and talk about the progress of the story.

• Message boards with notes to each other is a great visual tool to encourage writing.

• Encourage writing a journal. This can be their special words just for their eyes alone.

Finally, writing for many children takes time to evolve. Encourage them to write freely and without reserve. Accept their ideas and let them think through their sentences. The more they feel in control the less they rely on you and their ideas start to take shape. Here it is not about making or correcting their mistakes. No author would ever put punctuation and grammar ahead of good ideas. 

‘You can make anything by writing.’                                                                 -C.S.Lewis                 

What about our so-called underachievers?

I have real concerns about the word ‘underachiever’, especially when referring to children. This implies there are children who can perform much better, but actually do not perform well. The name and hence label ‘underachiever’ puts a very damning perception on a child. It implies that they are just not up to the mark and will always be below the line.

In my experience as a school principal for 30 years, I have seen many children, who for a variety of reasons, underperform in some way. Yet over those same years, through sound support and shifting social and emotional growth, they no longer underperform. We all are evolving and morphing into well-rounded human beings. There will always be variations as we grow in how we perform.

If a child has a perception that they are an underperformer, they feel a sense of failure in many and varied ways. It totally saturates their sense of self-worth and their endeavours to do better are very poor. They have little motivation to change that perception.

Here are some reflections to help your child if they feel they are underachieving:

• Look at your own parental attitudes towards achievement. Take care not to demand unrealistic high performance. Are your expectations appropriate in light of your child’s anxiety in this area? Remember every child is different.

• If you have little interest in your child’s performance and general school work, they can’t see the point in trying too hard. Always show interest that demonstrates excitement in their work. It is easy to disengage when interest from parents is low.

• Be careful not to put your child down if they perform less than perfect. Always acknowledge their efforts, applaud the process and celebrate how far they have come. Affirming their performance only because it reaches your suitable expectations can lead a child to be very angry, frustrated and disheartened. They will feel despondent because they cannot reach such expectations all the time.

• Some children will underperform, as they do not want to be different from their peers. I have seen this quite a few times. Easier to be one of the gang, than to stand out with a good effort. In this case, discussions need to be had with the teacher to establish how socially active your child is and how they engage with others. This is more about self-esteem matters.

• If your child is underachieving, take little steps. Affirm their work along the way. If they write a story, affirm the stages they are at and compliment them on their efforts.

• Play games where they sometimes win and talk about the fun of having a go and succeeding. Simple games like snakes and ladders can build confidence in young children. Building blocks are a great tool for seeing success through the endeavour.

• If your child hates chores and says they are boring, simplify the chore. When they finish, have some fun and tell them how finishing the chore makes your life easier.

• Select small attainable goals at home. They will be less frustrated as quickly and feel that they want to finish it off. Sometimes doing the goal with them can be helpful as well.

• It can become a habit to underachieve. Find occasions at home to notice when they did complete tasks well. Talk about them and make a fuss about the success it showed.

• Use positive upbeat language. Not words that can easily put down your child. Words like:‘Wonderful effort’,‘Great show’, ‘Much appreciated’, ‘What an outstanding effort’ and‘Wow what a great job’. It’s all about getting them to hear positive thoughts about their achievements, no matter how inconsequential.

• Little positive notes around the house, in their bedroom and in lunchboxes, about how they did well to achieve certain things is a very effective visual way of letting them feel like an achiever. I used to put a little positive note in each child’s desk each night. This made such a difference to their motivation and drive.

We all have periods of underachieving. Our children will have shifting emotions that, from time to time, may lead them down that path. Just keep up the positive talk and minimise occasions where that sense of hopelessness and reduced drive can linger longer. We don’t want over-achievers; we want natural achievers. 

‘The achiever is the only individual who is truly alive.’

                                                                                          George Allen

Learning about being responsible

As an adult, we understand why responsibility is such an important part of our makeup. Without it, as an adult, we cannot survive. We learn also over time that different responsibilities come our way and this challenges us in new and sometimes difficult ways. I always remember bringing our first child home from the hospital and thinking, how can I look after this little individual? I don’t have the skills. Fortunately, she survived and I learnt quickly. This is how developing new and challenging responsibilities comes our way.

For a child, it is all about learning that responsibilities are actually important and that this may mean some sacrifice, compromise, etc. It is about learning that responsibilities must be understood and followed through with and there is often regularity to responsibilities. All of these learned traits take a while for children to grasp. I am sure you have had some issues with getting your child to take on and keep up with responsibilities. It just takes time and perseverance.

Teachers will automatically assign responsibilities to their class so that the classroom functions well. They can be rotating duties or they can have a responsibility for the whole year. These responsibilities work well because the child learns that they are accountable to others for their actions.

Here are some thoughts on helping your child learn responsibility.

• Firstly, take care that if you give your child a job, they follow it through. Don’t finish the job for them as this teaches them that responsibilities are not genuine. Show them that it is a satisfying thing to finish a job yourself.

• A child having a pet is a great responsibility and one that cannot be part-time. If you take this on, make sure your child is mature enough to take on this responsibility.

• Talk about all your responsibilities and how you work through them during the week. Maybe there are some that are short term and others, long term, (like being a parent).

• Before your child takes on a responsibility make sure they understand its length and breadth. Often younger children do not have a sense of time and become overwhelmed or disengage earlier. The responsibility should be age appropriate and should have the satisfaction of completion.

• Take care when a child shows an interest in a sport such as tennis lessons, gymnastics etc. can they see the term through, finishing halfway is not honouring the responsibility to the program.

• Always affirm your child when they complete their responsibilities. They need to know that it is a job well done and has impact on others in the family.

• As a family, plan weekly chores and at the end of the week thank your child for their completion. Jobs such as setting the table, putting bins out, putting toys away etc. are all responsibilities that need attention.

• Teaching your child that they own the responsibility is important. They need to know that others rely on their actions and without the job done others are affected. This is why it is important that they complete the task even if it means some inconvenience on your part.

• If a child is irresponsible, try not to be simply angry and disappointed. Sit them down and listen to why they could not complete the task. Give them the opportunity to explain. Perhaps it was too much, perhaps they did not realise its importance etc.

Finally, build into your teaching about the responsibility that if they fail the child learns to blame no one else but comes to accept responsibility themselves. This is quite a mature concept but one to work towards. This is all about building strong foundations in emotional intelligence.

“It is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves. That will make them successful individuals.’

-Ann Landers

Finding a happy balance for your child

We all lead busy lives. Sometimes those lives can consume us and we build into them more and more activities, jobs, special events, etc. It is in fact that our society rewards doing more and demonstrating that if you are a busy person, it is seen as success.

Our culture rewards and respects being busy. Of course, there is nothing wrong with busy. I would however, be recommending that you become conscious of the balance that you put into the week and this of course will flow over into your child’s perception of how a week should look.

 Finding balance is a gift you can give yourself and especially a lifelong gift for your child. Some people are automatically drawn to putting balance into their lives, for many of us it is a struggle, especially when more seems better. Remember that if you teach your child to have balance between work, home, school, friends, etc. they will want that gift for the rest of their life. They will not be drawn to excessive demands and they will reflect on the various choices they are making that give them balance and make them feel happy. Here you are awakening their consciousness about being a happier person.

Once a balanced person always a balance person.

Here are some ideas to teach your child that balance is the best way to live out the daily, weekly, experiences. True balance is built on a solid foundation.

• Show your child how you plan the week. Discuss why some things are chosen and others discarded. If you enjoy your recreation time show them how this is an important part of the week, one which is not compromised.

• Keep a chart on the fridge which highlights the week’s activities. Talk about how some things must stay but others can go if the balance is to be maintained.

• When you make a decision to let something go even though it was important, talk to your child about that action. Tell them that life can be flexible and can adjust to make for a balanced week.

• Talk about how the school week is set up and how the lessons are planned so that a balanced curriculum is the order of the day. Children love routine and feel very comfortable knowing what is planned for the week. This is a chance to talk about balance in the school setting.

• If something important comes up with your child, discuss how it would sit with the rest of the week’s plan. Will other activities need to change to keep the balance? What’s in their control? What is it that tips the balance?

• Teach your child to reflect on themselves and how some busy situations can make them unsettled. Can they change that and do they really know their priorities? This is all about understanding that they are individuals and don’t always have to go with the flow.

• Teach them that not everything is under our control. They need to learn what is in their control and what is not under their control.

• Mindfulness talks about living in the moment. Perhaps teaching our children how to enjoy the moments and not focus on building busy changeable lives.

• Some things are worth holding onto and others maybe not so. Invite conversations about what is necessary and what is disposable. This is all about finding balance that is controllable.

• Cooking with your child is an excellent way to talk about balance and how the best comes from the balance of ingredients.

• Building rituals into your life helps to strengthen the notion of balance in life. A ritual or routine is familiar, comfortable, predictable, manageable and in your total control.

Above all, be open in discussion about how maintaining a balanced life is a wonderful ideal and that in your life you strive to set goals to be as balanced as possible. Sometimes we fail but our plan is to try to maintain a balance so that you live a happier day, week, month etc.

‘Teaching our children to live a quiet, sane and balanced life is one of the most important parental tasks of our day’

- Brent L Top

Teaching your children to be planners

Organisation is always a challenge for children as they grow. Also, as parents, some of us are less organised people in planning events etc. It’s just in our nature how we approach planning. This article tells us that planning can be learnt, which is so beneficial for children’s success in self-management. The earlier they value being a planner, the more they gain through being organised and in control of what they are doing.

Taking time to plan something well shows that a person is making choices about how they want to be in control of their actions. They come to understand that they will have more successful outcomes by being a planner. Planning well gives you a vision into what you are expecting as an outcome. To be productive is to plan well. For example, if you plan your trip well for the school holidays you feel reassured that it will be successful and that you have a clear understanding of what to expect. There are fewer unfortunate surprises.

There are developing skills in learning to plan well and children will get better at it and more accurate in their planning, reading situations better etc. as time goes. They will make mistakes but grow in confidence about sharpening the planning process.

Teachers know that planning their lessons well is the key to the quality of teaching. Without effective well-planned lessons, teachers easily lose control of the outcomes. They understand that the quality of their planning will impact a child’s learning.

Read here to help your child be a dedicated planner.

They are also keen to teach children the importance of planning and when assignments are on the agenda, teachers will spend considerable time with children discussing their plan. Sometimes pieces of work are marked on the quality of the planning demonstrated by a child.

When we teach our children to plan important events etc., they begin to value the process of planning as a way of managing their world and feel in control. They are setting the directions themselves. Once they feel the success of their planning, children will want more control of their actions.

Here are some thoughts on helping your child become a dedicated planner.

• Demonstrate to your child how you plan for important events, occasions etc. Allow them to share in some of this planning. Is planning an important part of your work life?

• There are various ways to plan and everyone develops their own style. Talk about what tools you use to help you plan. For example, are you someone who takes notes?

• Do you plan your events on a computer? Do you revisit the plan?

• What resources do you use in planning?

• When your child talks about important events that they will participate in, talk about what plans they have in place to make it successful.

• When planning we all need time for this and talk to your children about how much time they will give to the planning process.

• Talk about successes you have had from careful planning. It is also worthwhile to talk about the trial and error in planning. This is also an important process we go through before discernment.

A wise person sees planning as a natural part of putting order and structure into their world. Teaching our children, the value of planning gives them an important tool in guiding their directions with personal satisfaction and confidence.

“‘Good teaching is more a giving of right questions than a giving of right answers.’

                             -Josef Albers”

— Quote Source

Teaching children the value of finishing.

In our busy world there are some aspects of our work which may never get finished, however teaching our children that completing tasks, finishing agreed goals is a very satisfying and important way of being.

To value finishing a task, etc. is to have the maturity to know that completion is satisfying and healthy.

Children are busy little bees who can start activities and walk away from them quite easily. This is partly due to their age, span of concentration and shifting interests. No matter what age, we can teach them slowly the art and grace of finishing.

Teachers know how important it is to teach children to complete their tasks in class. They will plan to allow enough time or will make  optional ways for a child to finish their work. It is all about the importance of actually finishing. As children grow older, they are taught that their performance at school will also be judged on their ability to complete tasks. So, from an early age working towards completing tasks, projects etc. is considered a valuable tool in learning. Incomplete work is considered poor performance.

We can teach our children the importance of finishing by our own actions. Consider:

• When you complete a task talk about how it feels to have it finished.

“I feel so glad that I finished mowing the lawn. It is a job well done.”

• Affirm your child when they demonstrate that they have finished tasks.

“Well done. Your homework is complete now. You still have some free time before dinner.”

• Draw up a list of tasks to do for the week. Tick them off when complete. Show your child how much satisfaction you gain from ticking off that list. Each item ticked off is a job behind you.

• Encourage your child to come back to tasks incomplete. Remind them that no matter how much time is needed, completion is all about being successful.

“You have taken some time to clean up your Lego on the floor, but now it is all complete. Well done. The floor is so tidy.”

• Remind your child that there is no satisfaction in not finishing. The joy comes from completing the task and then comfortably moving on.

• Talk about some aspect of your work that gave you satisfaction once it was completed. Highlight the satisfying feeling you gained from completion. Also, what changed or grew as a result of completing the work?

Teaching your child, the satisfaction of finishing teaches them to appreciate and look forward to moving on. New horizons are born from completing tasks.

“If you’re brave enough to start, you’re strong enough to finish.”

— Gary Ryan Blair