Why Your Child’s Mental Health Matters
What's the one thing that influences your child's ability to learn, build friendships, and navigate challenges? It's not the latest educational toy or a packed extracurricular calendar. It's their mental health. Discover why creating a foundation of emotional safety is the greatest gift you can give your child.
As parents, we naturally think about homework, routines and many more. But beneath all of this lies something more important, that is our children’s developing mental health. When children feel safe, supported, and understood, everything else in life becomes easier.
Consider:
A calm mind learns better
When children feel secure, they can focus and enjoy learning. Worry, on the other hand, can cloud their thinking. A little reassurance can make all the difference.
Feelings are part of growing
Big emotions like tears, frustration, and excitement are not problems to be “fixed.” They are chances to teach children how to understand themselves. Saying, “I see you’re upset. Let’s take a moment together,” helps them feel safe.
Friendships blossom with support
Children who know how to share their feelings are more likely to build strong friendships. A child who feels heard at home will find it easier to listen and connect with others outside. They are developing empathy.
Mental health is resilience
Life will always bring challenges. Children who have learned coping skills like talking, breathing, or problem-solving can bounce back more quickly when things go wrong. Give them slow and steady independence.
Small daily habits matter most
Just like brushing teeth protects physical health, small daily moments protect mental health. Reading together, sharing a meal, or even a bedtime chat can make a child feel valued and loved. Keep on with the rituals at home.
Early care lasts a lifetime
The ways children learn to handle stress now will shape their teen years and adulthood. A calm walk, a story before bed, or a hug in tough moments builds lifelong strength. It is OK to live in an imperfect world.
You don’t need all the answers
Often, your presence is more powerful than any solution. A child who knows, “Mum or Dad will sit with me when I’m worried,” already feels less alone.
Try a simple daily check-in, ask, “What was something that made you smile today?” and “Was there anything tricky?”
“Your mind is like a garden. With care it will bloom beautifully.”
Relax, Parents: Childhood Is a Long Journey, Not a Sprint
Parents often feel the pressure to be perfect, but raising children is really about creating a space where they feel trusted and free to grow. Allow them to try, even if they struggle, because each small moment of autonomy builds lasting confidence. Your calm presence is the foundation they need to learn, stumble, and thrive.
Parents often feel the weight of “getting it right” every single moment. The truth is, raising children isn’t about perfect reactions in every situation, it’s about creating an environment where children feel trusted, respected, and free to grow into themselves. There is no rush. Growing up takes time.
Children are Smarter Than We Think
Your child notices how you response, whether you micromanage or step back with calm confidence. When you treat them as intelligent individuals, they rise to it. For example, a 6-year-old asked to help set the table may not place the cutlery perfectly, but the pride in their independence is far more valuable than straight forks.
Independence is Built in the Small Moments
Children naturally want to do things “by myself.” That’s not defiance, it’s growth. Let them tie their shoes (even if it takes forever) or choose their outfit (even if it clashes). Every act of independence you allow teaches problem-solving and confidence. They are happier in themselves when seeking independence.
Relaxing Builds Trust
When parents hover, children feel doubt: “Maybe I can’t do this.” But when you relax and show faith in them, they learn resilience. Think of a parent at the playground: one hovers nervously at every step; another watches from a distance, ready if needed. Which child is more likely to climb, fall, try again, and succeed? Have more confidence in your child and yourself.
The Long Haul Matters Most
Childhood isn’t about who reads first, ties shoes fastest, or gets perfect grades early on. It’s about building a foundation of security, curiosity, and persistence. Relaxing now allows your child to explore, stumble, and develop the strength they’ll need later in life.
So the next time you feel like correcting, rushing, or fixing, pause. Take a breath. Smile. Remember: parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. And sometimes the best gift you can give your child is the freedom to try, fail, and learn, while you watch with calm confidence.
“When little people are overwhelmed by big emotions’ it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.”
Emotional safety for your child gives them so much hope
A child’s sense of emotional safety shapes their world, how they learn, trust, and grow. By nurturing emotional safety today, you build the foundation for their mental and emotional strength for life.
This is all about ensuring that your child feels they are in a safe place emotionally and that those around them are trustworthy, reliable and have their interests at heart. The home environment should be a place where they feel valued, protected and loved.
Consider:
Emotionally safe kids learn better and trust deeper.
When children feel safe, they thrive, not just survive.
Emotional safety builds confidence that lasts a lifetime.
A safe heart is the foundation of strong mental health.
Your calm is their courage. Your presence is their peace.
“We’re all imperfect parents and that’s OK. Tiny humans need connection not perfection.”
Finding Balance: Helping Your Child Thrive at School and at Home
When school and home life are in sync, children feel more supported and parents feel less stressed. In this blog, we explore simple, practical ways to create a sense of balance that helps your child thrive both in the classroom and at home.
Modern family life can feel like a juggling act. School timetables, homework, after-school activities, work commitments, meal prep, family time, it’s easy to feel stretched. For children, the pace can be just as overwhelming. That’s why finding balance between school and home is all about your child’s well-being.
Why Balance Matters
Children thrive when life feels predictable and calm. They need time to learn, play, rest, and connect. Without balance, they may become anxious, tired, or unmotivated.
1. Create a Rhythm, Not a Rigid Routine
Instead of trying to run your household like a military base, focus on rhythm. A flexible rhythm means meals happen at roughly the same time, there’s a set time for homework and bedtime is fairly consistent. It’s reliable but adaptable. Children feel secure when they know what to expect.
✅ Tip: Use a visual schedule at home to help younger children understand the flow of the day.
2. Set Reasonable Homework Expectations
Homework can quickly take over family life. While it’s important, it shouldn't become a daily battle. Keep sessions short, focused, and positive. If your child is tired or stuck, it’s okay to take a break or ask the teacher for support.
✅ Tip: A 10-minute wind-down or snack break after school can reset the brain before homework begins.
3. Protect Downtime Like a Treasure
Children need time to just “be.” Whether that’s lying on the floor drawing, building Lego castles, reading, or playing outside, this “free” time is where creativity, imagination, and emotional processing happen. Don’t overschedule your child with activities.
✅ Tip: Schedule one “empty” afternoon per week—no playdates, no homework pressure, just time to relax.
4. Be Present, Not Perfect
Your child doesn’t need a perfect home, they need a connected one. It’s easy to get caught up in logistics, but make room for small, meaningful moments: a cuddle, a walk, a laugh over dinner. These build emotional strength more than any structured activity.
✅ Tip: Choose one daily connection ritual, like bedtime stories, a shared breakfast, or a 5-minute chat after school.
5. Model Balance Yourself
Your child watches how you manage life. If you’re always rushing, scrolling, or stressed, they notice. Show them what it looks like to slow down, to rest, to enjoy moments. When you prioritize balance, they learn to do the same.
✅ Tip: Let your child see you reading a book, taking a walk, or saying “no” to too much.
Final Thought
Balance isn’t about perfection, it’s about harmony. There will be busy weeks and messy days, and that’s okay. What matters is creating a home where your child feels supported, where learning is respected, and where joy has space to bloom. When school and home are in balance, everyone feels more grounded and that’s a win for the whole family.
Letting Go, Little by Little: The Power of Gradual Independence
Letting go isn’t easy, but little by little, it can be one of the most empowering things we do as parents. Building independence is a journey for both parent and child, helping grow confidence, resilience, and self-belief along the way. Read on to explore practical ways to encourage independence gradually with Gail Smith.
As parents, our natural instinct is to protect, guide, and sometimes even hover or else do the tasks for the child. But one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the confidence to step out on their own, bit by bit. Slow and steady wins the race both for the child and the anxious parent. It is a learning process for both the child and parent.
Gradual independence isn’t about throwing them in the deep end. It’s about teaching them to swim with you nearby, cheering them on. It’s a process that builds resilience, confidence, and problem-solving skills that last a lifetime. It teaches them how to learn effectively. Great process for building self esteem and strengthening mental health.
Why It Matters
Children need to feel capable. When we do everything for them, they may grow dependent—or worse, afraid to try. But when we coach rather than control, they learn to trust themselves. We also start to feel comfortable in letting go the reins. We need to understand that this is better parenting than keeping the controls all the time.
Practical Ways to Start
Here are some age-appropriate ways to encourage independence:
For young children (3–7):
Let them choose their outfit (even if it’s socks with sandals), help pack their lunch, or water the plants. Give praise for effort, not perfection. At an early age start giving them independent opportunities.
For tweens (8–12):
Let them manage their homework schedule, ride their bike to a friend’s house, or cook a simple meal. Let them try, then learn from mistakes in a safe space where there is only encouragement.
For teens (13+):
Involve them in decision-making, budgeting, planning outings, or solving their own friendship issues. Offer support, but resist jumping in too quickly. With social media work with them in deciding on what is suitable for them to view and use.
Real-Life Example
Ella, age 10, wanted to walk the dog alone. Her parents first walked behind her at a distance. The next week, she went solo but carried a phone. Today, she walks the dog confidently every morning. One small step, huge growth.
The Catch?
Yes, it can be messy. There may be forgotten lunchboxes, missed buses, or burnt toast. But those hiccups are how children learn and how parents learn to let go (just a little). Affirm all their efforts even if they are unsuccessful. They need to see that you value their efforts to be independent.
Final Word
Think of gradual independence as giving your child a toolkit. The earlier they learn to use it, the more prepared they’ll be when life really begins to test them. It will become more automatic for them overtime to work on problem issues themselves. There is nothing more satisfying than solving problems yourself!
So start small. Watch them grow. And remember, your goal isn’t to hold on forever. It’s to cheer them on as they fly. It is also a known fact, ask any teacher that a child learns faster and with confidence when they expect to do things for themselves. Dependent children become too reliant on others to give them solutions.
“In teaching me independence of thought, they have given me the greatest gift an adult can give to a child besides love and they had given me that also.”
Growing Big Hearts: Teaching Children Generosity and Compassion
As parents, the way we show compassion in everyday moments helps shape emotionally strong and caring kids. Gail Smith shares simple ways to nurture generosity at home, where small acts can leave a big impact.
In a world where success is often measured by grades and achievement, it’s easy to forget the quiet strength of a generous heart or a compassionate word. Yet, these are the qualities that help children grow into kind, resilient, and truly emotionally strong, successful adults. As parents, we have a daily opportunity to nurture generosity and compassion through the small moments that add up to something powerful. Remember, your example here will make such a difference. The world of social media has stripped away so much of the gentler, more sensitive ways of communicating. They are much undervalued traits. Your teaching in the home environment can highlight how valuable a tool it is to be kind and generous.
Why It Matters
Generosity teaches children that they have something valuable to give. Time, kindness, attention, or a helping hand. Compassion teaches them to notice others’ feelings, to stand
beside someone who is struggling, and to act with care.
How to Teach It—Naturally and Daily
1. Model Generosity
Children watch us closely. Let them see you:
• Hold the door for someone with a smile.
• Share your time with a lonely neighbour.
• Speak kindly about others, even when they aren’t around or challenge you in different ways.
• Use good manners wherever possible and be a calm person who listens to others respectfully.
2. Create Small Opportunities to Give
Generosity doesn’t have to mean giving away toys or money. It might look like:
• Writing a kind note to a teacher. Let your child assist here.
• Helping a younger sibling with their socks.
• Giving up the best seat without being asked.
When these moments happen, pause to reflect: “That was generous of you. How do you think that made them feel?”
Use those words like generosity in your conversations.
3. Name the Feelings
When your child sees someone in need or distress, ask: “What do you think they’re feeling?” Helping children tune in to others builds their natural empathy. Compassion starts with noticing. It is healthy to talk about how others may feel after a crisis or trauma.
4. Tell Real Stories
Use stories—true ones from your life or the news about people who show compassion and generosity. Children remember stories far more than instructions. Share a time when someone was kind to you, or when a small act made a big difference. Notice people around you that show compassion to others. Name them.
5. Practise Together
Create family traditions around kindness:
• Have a "Kindness Jar", everyone writes down kind acts they saw or did.
• Choose one community service activity a term, a food drive, helping at church, or donating toys.
• At dinner, ask, “What’s one generous thing someone did today?”
• Read together books that teach compassion and generosity.
6. Celebrate the Heart, Not Just the Head
Praise children when they are kind, not just when they are clever. Say, “I loved the way you helped Jack when he dropped his books. That shows a strong heart.”
Final Thought
Raising generous and compassionate children is one of the greatest legacies we can leave. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with daily care, encouragement, and example, you’re growing a child ready to make the world better. No surprise that others gravitate around people who show generosity and compassion. It is so needed.
“Be kind and merciful.
Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier’”
Raise a Hopeful Child: The Power of a Proactive Parent
Tired of always reacting to meltdowns and lost lunchboxes? What if you could shape how your child sees the world instead? In this blog, we explore how small, proactive steps can build resilience and boost your child’s mental health.
As parents, we often find ourselves reacting to moods, meltdowns, lost lunchboxes, and unexpected worries. What if, instead of reacting, we became proactive in shaping the way our children see the world?
Taking a proactive stand isn’t just about routines and boundaries (though those matter). It’s about becoming a quiet architect of your child’s mindset, helping them build resilience, hope, and the ability to look for opportunity even in tough times.
Why Proactive Parenting Matters for Mental Health
Children’s mental health isn’t only about what goes wrong, anxiety, sadness, or stress but about what’s built up before those moments. A proactive approach gives your child tools to handle life before it overwhelms them. It's a map through the storm. A positive outlook in a parent is very catchy with their child.
1. Speak the Language of Possibility
Children are always listening. Every time we say, “That’s too hard,” they absorb that as truth. But if we say, “Let’s try,” or “We’ll figure it out,” we are teaching them to hope. Anything is possible is the motto.
Try this:
Instead of: “Maths is hard, isn’t it?”
Say: “This looks tricky, but let’s see what we can do.”
Over time, your child starts to think, “I can try,” rather than, “I’m stuck.”
2. Name Strengths, Not Just Struggles
It’s easy to focus on what children aren’t doing — not sitting still, not finishing homework, not listening. But if we call out what is working, we help them see themselves as capable.
Example:
“You really kept going, even when that puzzle was frustrating. That’s called perseverance. It’s a brilliant strength.” Naming the good makes it grow. Be an opportunist, spot the strengths.
3. Model Hope, Even in Small Things
If your child sees you problem-solve calmly, laugh at mistakes, and stay optimistic, they’re more likely to do the same. Be authentic when dealing with your child.
For instance:
When plans change unexpectedly, say:
“Well, that’s not what we thought would happen! Let’s make a Plan B.”
This shows them that life doesn’t have to go perfectly to go well.
4. Ask Empowering Questions
When your child is upset, don’t rush in with solutions. Instead, invite them to think.
• “What do you think we could try next?”
• “What helped last time?”
• “If your friend felt like this, what would you say to them?”
These questions grow problem-solving skills and emotional confidence.
What’s the Takeaway?
Being proactive isn’t about being perfect. It’s about planting seeds of courage, optimism, and hope in the everyday moments. It’s small words, quiet praise, and helping your child look ahead instead of feeling stuck.
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”
Raising a Confident Child in Today’s Classroom: 5 Surprising Ways Parents Can Help
Confidence is a skill, not a trait and it grows with practice, praise, and patience. Every child develops it differently, and that’s okay. Explore the five simple ways to support your child’s confidence in today’s classroom.
Let’s face it: school can be a confidence minefield. Whether it’s answering a question in front of the class, navigating friendship drama, or simply speaking up when they need help, many children hold back, often because they don’t believe in themselves and they are just not socially sure of themselves.
As a parent, you’re in the perfect position to quietly build that belief. Confidence needs to be lived, practised, and grown like a muscle.
Here are 5 innovative, real-world ideas to help your child grow in confidence at school and beyond.
1. Let Your Child Be the Expert (at Home and in Public)
Why it works: When children teach something, they feel powerful and valued. Explaining ideas helps them process and internalize knowledge, and boosts their confidence to speak out in class.
Try this:
Ask your child to explain a concept they’re learning like fractions, life cycles, or even a new word and record a mini “teaching video” for a grandparent or cousin.
Out in the world? Ask them to order the food, check the train times, or explain a museum exhibit to you like they’re your tour guide.
The more they hear their own voice doing real life activities in a responsible way the more they grow sure of themselves.
2. Schedule One “Mini Risk” a Week
Why it works: Confidence comes from doing, especially things that feel a bit uncomfortable. Regular small challenges build resilience and trust in their own ability.
Try this:
Make a “Mini Risk Jar” with your child. Fill it with fun, doable dares:
Ask a new friend to play
Try a new club
Put your hand up once a day
Present a joke at dinner
Talk about any risks you have taken recently.
Celebrate attempts, not outcomes. Praise the trying, not the success. Comment on the effort made and how this is successful.
3. Ditch “Be Confident”. Say This Instead
Why it works: “Be confident” is vague. Kids need tools. Swapping language helps them link confidence to specific actions.
Try this:
Replace “Be confident” with:
“Speak like you’re helping someone understand”
“Stand like a superhero, feet planted, eyes up”
“Remember, your voice is a gift”
Real story: A dad told his son, “Stand like Spider-Man before he saves the day.” The next morning, the boy stood taller during show-and-tell and actually smiled.
4. Let Them Hear You Fail (and Bounce Back)
Why it works: Children often believe adults are always right, always perfect. When you model what it looks like to get something wrong and keep going, you give them permission to do the same. Be authentic and let them see the real you with warts and all.
Try this:
Talk aloud about your mistakes: “I totally messed up that email but here’s how I fixed it.”
Share how you felt, what you did next, and how you kept perspective.
“I told my son about how I froze during a meeting. He said, ‘That’s like when I forgot my line in the play!’ Suddenly, we were teammates.”
5. Confidence Grows in the Quiet, Too
Why it works: Not all confidence is loud. Some children shine by preparing quietly and leading gently. That’s not shyness, it’s strength.
Try this:
Create “backstage” confidence moments: help them prep for a class talk with cue cards or rehearse a social scenario with stuffed animals.
Praise thoughtful acts: “You noticed Ella was left out. That’s real leadership.”
Remind them: confidence isn’t always about being first, it’s about being ready.
Affirm those quiet moments when you notice behaviour that is helpful to others.
A Final Word
Confidence is not a personality trait—it’s a learnt skill. And like any skill, it grows best with practice, praise, and patience. Every child will be different in how they show confidence and for some it is a slow, steady progress. We need to be patient.
You don’t need to push your child to be the loudest, the fastest, or the most outgoing. You just need to show them they’re seen, heard, and capable, especially when they doubt it. Let them develop their voice in their own time.
Start small. Celebrate progress. And trust that each brave step they take, no matter how tiny, is shaping a stronger future.
Helping Your Child Find Balance in their busy life
Too many activities, too much pressure, and too little downtime can leave children overwhelmed. The good news? Balance can be taught. Home can be a space where your child learns to pause, play, and thrive. Read on to discover simple ways to bring more balance into your child’s life.
As parents, we want our children to thrive but sometimes, we accidentally give them too much. Too many clubs, too many lessons, too much screen time, or even too much pressure to “succeed.” The result? Stressed-out children who don’t know how to stop, breathe, or just be. In fact they can feel inadequate if they are not constantly in action. Classrooms are places where children learn how to balance the day between work and play.
But balance is something we can teach. Home life can be built around balance for a child.
Consider:
Spot the Imbalance
Start by observing your child’s week. Are they always rushing from one thing to the next? Is there time in their day for:
• Rest?
• Play (the unstructured, silly, no-goal kind)?
• Movement?
• Stillness?
• Time with you?
How about introducing a nothing day. Here your child can be creative, be still or enjoy not being accountable.
Teach the “Juggle” with Jars
Children are visual. Try this at home:
• Take three jars. Label them Work, Play, and Rest.
• Give your child 10 marbles (or buttons).
• Ask them to drop the marbles into the jars to show how they spent their day.
Most children will drop them all into “Work” (school, homework, chores) and “Play” (devices, sports). "Rest" is often forgotten.
Talk about it:
What could go into the "Rest" jar? Reading a quiet book? Drawing? Sitting in the garden? You’ll be surprised how much this simple activity gets them thinking and talking.
Model the Balance
Children copy what they see. If you never rest, they won’t think it’s allowed. If you always check your phone while talking to them, they learn to do the same.
Try this:
• Announce you're going for a 10-minute walk “to reset your brain.”
• Sit with a cup of tea and say, “I need a moment of quiet today.”
• Say “no” to something and explain why.
It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be real. Let them see how just being you is a comfortable space to live in.
Make “Bored” a Good Word
When your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t rush to fix it. Boredom is the starting block for being creative and problem-solving. Let them simply be bored for a while.
Example:
Jack (9) whined for half an hour that there was “nothing to do” one Sunday. His parents didn’t react. Ten minutes later, he’d turned the sofa into a pirate ship with a tea towel on his head.
Boredom worked. A child needs that kind of time to slow down their overthinking and just let it happen.
Balance Looks Different for Every Child
Some kids need quiet to recharge; others need movement. Some love a packed schedule; others melt under pressure. Every child is different and if you have more than one child I am sure you have noticed that already!
Ask regularly:
• “Are you enjoying what you’re doing?”
• “Is there something you’d like to do less of?”
• “Do you feel tired or happy at the end of the day?”
Make sure they are not trying to be overactive to simply prove how capable they are. You love them for just being them. This may mean that the pace is varied for different children in the family.
Balance is a Gift
Balance isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about giving our children the tools to check in with themselves, make choices, and build a life that works for them. It’s not just a childhood skill, it’s a life skill. When a child likes the balance in their life they can really savour different aspects of their world. For example, rest and recreation is as valuable as high level activity.
"I Just Don’t Know How to Help!" – A Parent’s Guide to Coping When School Gets Tough
Let’s take a closer look at how to gently support your child when school becomes a challenge. With slow, steady support, regular check-ins, and working through the ups and downs together, you’ll be showing them the kind of care that builds trust and resilience. Let’s break it down and explore how you can navigate this journey together.
Being a parent isn’t easy at the best of times, but when your child is upset about school or you’re worried they’re falling behind, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder: Should I speak to the teacher? Should I push harder or back off? What if I make it worse?
You're not alone. Many parents feel this way. Let’s talk about what to do when school feels difficult for your child and for you.
Start with Listening
When a child says, “I hate school,” or “I’m bad at reading,” our instinct is often to jump in with reassurance or solutions. But first, just listen. Give them your full attention even just 5 minutes of focused listening can unlock what’s really going on.
Try saying:
• “I am wondering how school went today.”
• “That sounds tough. I’d feel upset too.”
Remember this is not about giving them the answers. At this stage it is simply listening and feeling their concern.
Break the Problem Into Small Pieces
Big school problems often have small, manageable parts. Once your child feels heard, you can gently help them name the problem.
Example issues:
• “I don’t get maths” might actually mean “I got stuck on subtraction.”
• “No one likes me” might mean “Two friends wouldn’t play with me today.”
Help your child zoom in. Small problems are easier to talk about and easier to solve. For the child at the time, they seem insurmountable.
Make a Simple Action Plan (Together)
Children feel more confident when they’re part of the solution. They need to feel ownership of the issue. Once you've listened and broken the problem down, brainstorm one small step together.
Examples of action steps:
• Practising reading at home to build confidence
• Writing a short note to the teacher about a worry
• Role-playing what to say to a friend at playtime
For you: Don’t hesitate to send a quick message to the teacher. A simple, kind email like “My child is a bit anxious about PE. Any suggestions?” can open a helpful door.
Let Go of "Perfect"
You don’t have to be a teacher or a therapist. You don’t need perfect answers. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Just showing up, listening, and caring makes a huge difference.
If you're trying, you're already helping. Being authentic shows the child you are really wanting to help.
Some Reassurance
Most school struggles are temporary. Children are resilient and bounce back, especially when they have a parent who’s in their corner. This is not about solving the problem for them but being there, listening and together working on solutions. If you, the parent, take full ownership of their problem, they will disengage from it and they will have learnt nothing.
Example:
Tom, age 9, was refusing to go to school. After some gentle chats, his dad realized Tom was scared about changing seats. A quick word with the teacher helped, and they worked out a solution. Within a week, Tom was back at school and smiling.
One Last Thought
When school is tough, it can feel like you're both in the storm. But storms pass. What matters most is that your child knows you're by their side..With slow and steady support, recognizing that it is a problem for them is critical to their sense of security. Working through the problem together and checking in to see how they are going is the best way to show you care.
Simple ways to help your child with their anxiety issues
Today’s children are growing up in a world filled with pressure from school demands to social media and even the stress they sense from adults. It’s no surprise that anxiety is becoming more common in younger children. The good news? We can teach them how to cope and thrive. Building resilience doesn't mean they'll never face challenges. It means they'll have the tools to bounce back, try again, and keep moving forward. And that’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
If you’ve ever felt like your child worries more than they should, or gets overwhelmed by small setbacks, you’re not alone. Today’s children are growing up in a world full of pressure: school demands, social media, the news, even our own stress. It's no wonder anxiety is showing up more in younger children.
However we can teach them how to be resilient,
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Young Children?
Children often don’t say “I’m anxious”, instead, it shows up in their behaviour:
They might refuse to go to school.
They complain of tummy aches with no medical cause.
They get tearful or angry when a routine changes.
They say things like, “I can’t do it” or “Everyone’s better than me.”
They become silent
Sound familiar? These are all ways that anxiety can appear in children, especially in the early years and primary school.
So, What Can Parents Do Right Now?
1. Name the Feeling
Young children often feel better just from knowing what they’re feeling has a name.
Instead of saying: “Don’t worry — it’s nothing.”
Try: “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit nervous. That’s okay — we all feel like that sometimes.”
This helps them recognize and label emotions, which is the first step in managing them.
2. Model 'Brave Behaviour'
Children learn most from what they see. If they watch you facing challenges (even small ones) with a steady attitude, they start to believe they can do the same.
For example:
“I’ve got a big presentation at work today and I feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and I’m going to try my best.”
This shows that being nervous is normal, and that bravery means doing things even when we feel a bit scared. Show them it’s all about taking control of those nervous feelings.
3. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Instead of focusing on whether something was done perfectly, celebrate the effort.
For example:
“I saw you kept trying with that tricky puzzle. That was brilliant persistence!”
This builds a growth mindset, helping children see setbacks as part of learning, not signs of failure.
4. Small actions count
Encourage small acts of courage every day. Start with achievable steps, like putting their hand up in class, or trying a new food and celebrate them. Multiple small achievements that are praised make a big difference!
Make a “Brave Jar” at home: every time your child does something that feels brave, they get to put a marble or token in the jar. Watch it grow!
5. Create Calm Routines
Predictable routines help anxious children feel safe. Try keeping mornings calm and consistent, breakfast, brushing teeth, packing bags in the same order. Same organized routine for nigh time.
6. Watch Your Own Anxiety
Children are emotional sponges. If you’re often saying, “I’m so stressed,” or showing panic in tough situations, they will absorb that.
Take moments to breathe, pause, and model calm responses even when you’re faking it a bit. You’re teaching emotional regulation without saying a word. Try to avoid words about yourself like stress, anxious, frightened ,weak, vulnerable.
When Should You Seek Help?
If your child’s anxiety is stopping them from taking part in everyday life, refusing school regularly, withdrawing from friends, or having frequent meltdowns, it might be time to talk to the teacher, your GP, school councillor or a child therapist.
Final Thought: Bravery Grows Slowly — But It Grows
Raising a resilient child doesn’t mean they’ll never struggle. It means they’ll know how to bounce back, try again, and keep going. That’s the greatest gift we can give them. It’s called resilience.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Let them see that we are not all perfect. Just walk alongside them, name the feelings, and keep reminding them: “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”
“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.”
As a parent remember to listen well
Children learn by example, and when parents practice active listening, they teach valuable communication skills. When a child feels heard, they understand that their thoughts and feelings matter, building their confidence and sense of self-worth. Gail Smith shares five compelling reasons why truly listening to your child is essential for their emotional and social development.
Here are five powerful reasons why parents need to truly listen to their child, each with a sharp and effective well-being message:
Small Problems Now Prevent Big Problems Later
When kids feel heard about small worries (like a bad day at school), they’re more likely to share big issues (like bullying or anxiety) later. Dismissing small concerns teaches them their voice doesn’t matter. Sometimes they cannot decipher between what is big and little with their worries.
Listening Builds Confidence, Not Silence
A child who feels listened to learns that their thoughts and feelings are important. A constantly interrupted or dismissed child learns to stay quiet, even when they desperately need help. Being silent, they feel is a safe position.
Strong Parent-Child Bonds Reduce Anxiety
Studies show that children who feel heard by their parents develop better emotional regulation and experience less anxiety and stress. Feeling understood creates a deep sense of security. If you are heard you are more confident in yourself.
Kids Who Are Heard Become Adults Who Speak Up
When parents actively listen, kids grow up with the confidence to set boundaries, express their needs, and advocate for themselves in friendships, school, and later in life. For them, talking up is their strength.
Unspoken Feelings Don’t Disappear—They Show Up in Behaviour
When children feel ignored, their emotions often turn into anger, defiance, withdrawal, or anxiety. Listening is the first step in helping them healthily process their feelings. They need to use their voice.
Remember children learn by example and if you are a good listener to others they will see how effective this is in communicating well. If a child feels that they are being listened to, they know they are valued and that what they have to say really matters.
“Be patient when listening to your child. You will hear so much but within their talk there is an important message that will come through.”
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It
Supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Gail Smith shares simple yet effective ways that you can apply to make a real difference in supporting your child's mental health.
School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.
Consider:
Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too
Kids can't manage what they can't name.
Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:
• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”
• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”
Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”
Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.
Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School
Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.
Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:
• 20 minutes of quiet play
• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa
• Listening to music together
Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results
When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:
• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”
• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”
Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.
Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed
Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.
Ask casually:
• “Who did you hang out with today?”
• “What was the best part of playtime?”
If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.
Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.
Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up
If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.
Example email you could send:
"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."
Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.
“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”
Encourage a Wide Net of Friends: Why It Matters.
Friendships are key to a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Gail Smith highlights why encouraging kids to embrace new friendships is so important.
Friendships are essential for a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Encouraging a variety of friendships helps children grow socially and emotionally. They are also more receptive to accepting difference.
Less Heartbreak, More Support – If one friend is absent or drifts away, your child won’t feel alone.
Stronger Social Skills – Different friends mean learning to communicate and connect in new ways.
Confidence Booster – A mix of friendships builds self-esteem and reduces social anxiety.
More Fun, Less Drama – Group play means fewer fallouts and more opportunities for joy.
Life-Long Resilience – Adapting to different personalities prepares children for real-world relationships.
Encourage your child to be open to new friendships—it builds a stronger, happier, and more adaptable future! Avoid being judgmental or critical of friends they choose. In time they will work through who are truly friends.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”
It’s all in the effort with Parenting
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need an authentic one. The love, dedication, and effort you pour into each day mean far more than striving to get everything right.
Parenting is a journey, not a performance—there’s no perfect script, and mistakes are part of the process. Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent; they need a real one. The love, effort, and care you put in every day matter more than getting everything right. By showing your child how to navigate challenges, apologize when needed, and keep trying, you’re teaching them resilience and authenticity. So take a deep breath—your best is often more than enough.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
Helping Your Child Navigate Friendships and Challenges
Navigating friendships, forming them, losing them, and finding new ones is a natural part of childhood and essential for social and emotional growth. Here are five impactful ways parents can guide their children in fostering strong, healthy friendships and overcoming the challenges that come with them.
Friendships play a huge role in a child's school experience, shaping their confidence, happiness, and even their academic success. But as every parent knows, friendships come with ups and downs — disagreements, peer pressure, and the heartbreak of feeling left out. Here are five powerful ways parents can help their children build strong, healthy friendships while overcoming challenges.
1. Teach Empathy Through Storytelling
Children who understand how others feel are more likely to form meaningful friendships and handle conflicts with kindness.
Example: If your child tells you a friend was unkind, instead of immediately taking sides, ask: “How do you think they were feeling? Why might they have acted that way?” Reading books about friendship together or sharing your own childhood stories can help children develop empathy and perspective.
2. Role-Play Difficult Social Situations
Many children struggle to know what to say or do in tricky situations. Practising responses in a safe environment can give them the confidence to handle challenges.
Example: If your child is feeling left out at playtime, practise possible conversations:
“Can I join in?” or “Hey, do you want to play together today?”
If they’re dealing with a bossy friend, teach them how to say:
“I like playing with you, but I also want to make my own choices.”
3. Model Positive Friendships at Home
Children learn the most about relationships by watching their parents. If they see you handling disagreements respectfully and maintaining friendships, they’ll follow suit.
Example: If you have a disagreement with a friend or partner, show your child how to resolve it with kindness. Say things like:
“I was upset earlier, but I talked to my friend, and we worked it out.
This teaches them that disagreements don’t mean the end of a friendship—they can be worked through.
4. Encourage a ‘Wide Net’ of Friends
Relying on just one friend can be risky—if there’s a fallout, children can feel completely alone. Encourage them to be open to different friendships.
Example: If your child always plays with the same person, suggest inviting another classmate to join an activity. Say:
“I love that you and Emily are close! Why don’t we invite Mia over too?”
Encouraging group friendships helps children avoid being overly dependent on one person.
5. Teach Resilience When Friendships Change
Friendships naturally shift over time, and not every friendship lasts forever. Teaching your child to accept change helps them build emotional strength.
Example: If your child is upset that a friend has started playing with someone else, acknowledge their feelings but also provide perspective:
“It’s hard when friendships change, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find new great friends.”
Encourage activities where they can meet new friends, like clubs or sports, so they learn that one friendship ending isn’t the end of the world.
Forming friends, losing them and realigning yourself to new groups is a normal part of the childhood development in social and emotional growth. There will be disappointments and successes. There will be sharp reminders about how relationships can change and effect very quickly your well being. As a parent be a good listener and be inclusive with all their friends not showing judgement or bias. Your child needs to walk the road that will ultimately lead them to forming happy stable relationships that are inclusive and that build in them strong emotional intelligence.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.”
Starting School in 2025
Ease your child's transition into a new school year by talking positively about the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy, and practice morning routines to help them feel prepared. Offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Starting school can be an exciting but anxious time for some children as they face new routines, environments, and people. To help ease their worries, talk positively about school, focusing on the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy. Practice routines like getting ready in the morning, and visit the school beforehand if possible to familiarize them with the surroundings. Listen to their concerns and reassure them that it's okay to feel nervous. Most importantly, offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Consider:
.Be patient with your child.
Listen well to what they say in the first few weeks.
Be available especially after school for some time.
Change will occur with reshuffled friendship groups and familiarising themselves with the teacher. However, change is a good thing!
“The secret of change is to focus all our energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
A Few wise thoughts about getting ready for Christmas
The festive season can sometimes feel overwhelming, with endless to-do lists and expectations piling up. This year, why not focus on what truly matters? Spending quality time together as a family. Use this season of change as an opportunity to reconnect and remind yourselves of the joy and love that make family the heart of this special time.
Now that school is finished and the family can concentrate on Christmas and holidays, consider making life as simple and uncomplicated as possible. Enjoy the change as a family unit and begin to remember why family is the key point about this season.
Consider:
Focus on Presence, Not Presents: Children will remember the moments you spend together, not the price tags. Make time for laughter, games and hugs
Keep It Calm and Simple: Don’t stress about creating the “perfect Christmas.” Kids love the small things—hot chocolate, movies, or building a snowman. They love the repetition of Christmas.
Share the Spirit of Giving: Involve children in small acts of kindness— donating a toy, baking for neighbours, or making handmade cards. It’s a gift for their hearts too.
Create Special Traditions: Whether it’s matching pyjamas, bedtime stories by
the tree, or a festive family walk, traditions make Christmas magical and memorable.
Let Kids Be Kids: Allow space for excitement, silliness, and mess. The joy of Christmas is in their smiles and giggles—so join in!
Try to be more relaxed and strengthen friendships and relationships. It is all good for the soul.
“Have yourself a very merry Christmas with all the family.”
Holidays are a great time to reinvigorate relationships with your child
Year-end holidays are a special time for families to reconnect, break from routine, and enjoy quality moments together. In this blog, Gail Smith shares why these holidays are essential for strengthening family bonds and creating lasting happiness.
School is over soon for everyone and it is the one time in the year when families can find time together, be different, escape routine and veg out together. This is a time to remind ourselves that as a family we are strong and happy. It is a time to simply play and have fun and to forget about any burdens that have weighed you down this year.
Consider these thoughts that remind us why holiday are such an important time to reunite as a family.
Strengthens Bonds: Holidays provide uninterrupted time to connect, share laughs, and create cherished memories that strengthen family relationships.
Builds Traditions: Creating rituals like baking together or game nights fosters a sense of belonging and gives children something to look forward to every year.
Boosts Emotional Health: Spending quality time as a family reduces stress, enhances happiness, and helps everyone feel supported.
Teaches Values: Engaging in activities like volunteering or storytelling allows parents to pass on values and lessons in a fun, relaxed environment.
Recharges and Reconnects: Stepping away from daily routines allows everyone to reset, appreciate one another, and start fresh with stronger connections.
When everyone is starting to relax it is amazing how humour and laughter increases in a
house. May the jolly HO Ho of Santa permeate in all families over the next few weeks.
‘Tis the season to be jolly.’