Helping Your Child Find Balance in their busy life
Too many activities, too much pressure, and too little downtime can leave children overwhelmed. The good news? Balance can be taught. Home can be a space where your child learns to pause, play, and thrive. Read on to discover simple ways to bring more balance into your child’s life.
As parents, we want our children to thrive but sometimes, we accidentally give them too much. Too many clubs, too many lessons, too much screen time, or even too much pressure to “succeed.” The result? Stressed-out children who don’t know how to stop, breathe, or just be. In fact they can feel inadequate if they are not constantly in action. Classrooms are places where children learn how to balance the day between work and play.
But balance is something we can teach. Home life can be built around balance for a child.
Consider:
Spot the Imbalance
Start by observing your child’s week. Are they always rushing from one thing to the next? Is there time in their day for:
• Rest?
• Play (the unstructured, silly, no-goal kind)?
• Movement?
• Stillness?
• Time with you?
How about introducing a nothing day. Here your child can be creative, be still or enjoy not being accountable.
Teach the “Juggle” with Jars
Children are visual. Try this at home:
• Take three jars. Label them Work, Play, and Rest.
• Give your child 10 marbles (or buttons).
• Ask them to drop the marbles into the jars to show how they spent their day.
Most children will drop them all into “Work” (school, homework, chores) and “Play” (devices, sports). "Rest" is often forgotten.
Talk about it:
What could go into the "Rest" jar? Reading a quiet book? Drawing? Sitting in the garden? You’ll be surprised how much this simple activity gets them thinking and talking.
Model the Balance
Children copy what they see. If you never rest, they won’t think it’s allowed. If you always check your phone while talking to them, they learn to do the same.
Try this:
• Announce you're going for a 10-minute walk “to reset your brain.”
• Sit with a cup of tea and say, “I need a moment of quiet today.”
• Say “no” to something and explain why.
It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be real. Let them see how just being you is a comfortable space to live in.
Make “Bored” a Good Word
When your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t rush to fix it. Boredom is the starting block for being creative and problem-solving. Let them simply be bored for a while.
Example:
Jack (9) whined for half an hour that there was “nothing to do” one Sunday. His parents didn’t react. Ten minutes later, he’d turned the sofa into a pirate ship with a tea towel on his head.
Boredom worked. A child needs that kind of time to slow down their overthinking and just let it happen.
Balance Looks Different for Every Child
Some kids need quiet to recharge; others need movement. Some love a packed schedule; others melt under pressure. Every child is different and if you have more than one child I am sure you have noticed that already!
Ask regularly:
• “Are you enjoying what you’re doing?”
• “Is there something you’d like to do less of?”
• “Do you feel tired or happy at the end of the day?”
Make sure they are not trying to be overactive to simply prove how capable they are. You love them for just being them. This may mean that the pace is varied for different children in the family.
Balance is a Gift
Balance isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about giving our children the tools to check in with themselves, make choices, and build a life that works for them. It’s not just a childhood skill, it’s a life skill. When a child likes the balance in their life they can really savour different aspects of their world. For example, rest and recreation is as valuable as high level activity.
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.
Mothers, it's important not to underestimate the value of personal time. Balancing family responsibilities while staying calm and rested is no small feat. Though there's no one-size-fits-all solution, it's worth considering ways to make life a bit easier. Parenting shouldn't feel like an overwhelming burden on top of managing home and work. Gail Smith offers practical steps to help you navigate those hectic school weeks with a little more ease.
Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.
Prioritize and Delegate
Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.
Embrace “Good Enough”
Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.
Meal Planning and Prep
Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.
Use Technology to Stay Organized
Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.
Practice Mindful Breaks
Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.
Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.
“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”
Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent
As parents, it's easy to focus solely on our children's well-being and overlook our own. However, maintaining our own mental and physical health is crucial for effective parenting. Gail Smith explains how prioritizing self-care enhances our ability to be the best parents we can be. Keep your well-being at the forefront to savor the joys of parenting.
We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.
The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.
Consider:
Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.
Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.
Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.
Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.
When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.
“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”
Self Care Tips for Busy Parents
Remember, a tired parent may find it challenging to give their best to their child. It's essential to prioritize your own happiness and health, as it directly impacts your ability to parent effectively. Gail Smith offers nine practical suggestions to help you create a personal well-being routine. Taking time for yourself amidst the busyness of each day is key to feeling fulfilled and being the best parent you can be.
A tired parent will struggle to offer their best to their child. As a parent, remember that your well-being is important in managing all the roles you are asked to fill. The happier you feel about your own well-being, the better you will parent your child. Every busy day, there should be some space for yourself.
Here are nine suggestions to build your own personal well being package.
Mini Meditation Sessions
Make five minutes each day for a quick meditation session. Use a meditation app or simply sit quietly, focusing on your breath. Even short moments of mindfulness can reduce stress and improve mental clarity.
Prioritize Sleep
Establish a consistent bedtime routine and aim for quality sleep. Even if you can't get a full eight hours, prioritise rest by winding down with a book, reducing screen time before bed, and creating a calming sleep environment.
Move Your Body
Incorporate short bursts of physical activity into your day. A 10-minute walk, a quick yoga session, or a brief dance break with your kids can boost your mood and energy levels.
Delegate Tasks
Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks. Share household responsibilities with your partner or older children, and consider outsourcing certain chores if possible, such as grocery delivery or hiring a cleaner. Ask yourself the question, “does everything need to be done today?”
Enjoy a Hobby
Set aside a few minutes each day or week for an activity you love, whether it's reading, knitting, painting, or gardening. Engaging in a hobby can be a great way to relax and recharge.
Connect with Friends
Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, even if it's just a quick phone call or a virtual coffee chat. Maintaining social connections is important for emotional well-being and can provide a much-needed support system.
Practice Gratitude:
Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on what you're grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply noting three things you're thankful for can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.
Take Micro-Breaks:
Throughout your day, take micro-breaks to stretch, breathe deeply, or simply step outside for a moment. These short pauses can help refresh your mind and reduce accumulated stress.
Develop a Sense of Humour.
When you laugh especially at yourself you feel better and begin to take things less seriously. This is great for your well being.
Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the moment and to enjoy the experience that we are living in at the time. By developing an optimistic outlook and celebrating the great work you are doing, rather than questioning what isn’t done well, will soften your feelings about yourself and enable you to savour the day.
Taking time to rest and recharge yourself makes you more attentive as a parent
-Gail J Smith
Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child
In today's world, we often check in on our children's mental health. Social media and other challenges faced by youth remind us to stay vigilant. Gail Smith points out some common triggers that may indicate your child is under too much stress. By recognizing these signs, you can better gauge your child's well-being and offer support when needed. It's important to keep an eye out for these cues to ensure your child feels safe and supported.
We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene. Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:
Changes in Sleep Patterns
Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.
Behavioural Changes
Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.
Physical Symptoms
Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.
Academic Performance
A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.
Changes in Eating Habits
Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.
Regression to Earlier Behaviours
Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.
Frequent Crying
A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.
Avoidance Behaviours
A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.
Increased Dependency
A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.
Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness
Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.
When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.
The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence. -Gail J Smith
Building stronger relationships with your child
Explore these simple suggestions with Gail Smith to enhance the task of building better relationships with your child. The Primary Years.
There is no right way to build stronger relationships with your child. There are many ideas and suggestions. Here are a few suggestions that may help.
Quality Time Tokens: Create "Quality Time Tokens" – special cards or tokens that kids can use to request dedicated one-on-one time with a parent for activities they enjoy. This can be fun in the making.
Story Sharing Sessions: Initiate regular "Story Sharing Sessions" where both parent and child take turns sharing anecdotes, dreams, or stories from their day. It promotes communication and strengthens bonds. Great to do this at dinner time or bedtime
Involvement in Their World: Engage in "Their World" by showing interest in their hobbies, favourite shows, or games. It demonstrates care and understanding of their interests. Accept all their ideas and take care not to place judgements on their suggestions.
Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a "Gratitude Jar Ritual" by jotting down things you're grateful for about each other. Read these notes together periodically to foster appreciation and connection.
Decision-Making Together: Involve children in "Family Decision-Making" by allowing them to contribute ideas or have a say in certain family choices. It promotes a sense of responsibility and value in their opinions.
The above thoughts are simple suggestions to keep up the task of building better relationships with your child. Every family is different. You may already have some fun and endearing ways of building a unique relationship with your child.
‘Your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job: It’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.’
James Lehman
Bedtime can be tricky.
Who likes going to bed? Do I hear a resounding “yes” from tired parents or a reluctant “no” as there is so much to do when the child has gone to bed. Bedtime is a tricky and difficult time for some families. If you are a family with strong, regular routine and a fair amount of house discipline, you may find this not an issue. However, many families due to the various ages of children in the family, the variable nature of the week etc. struggle in finding that this is the best part of their day!
It was quite obvious in the school setting that some children needed more sleep than others, some went to bed with ease and anticipation and others were quite often dozing in the afternoon. You certainly do not need a lecture from me as I also struggled with this issue as a busy parent.
When working with children, I noticed that those students who liked routine and order were often able to adjust to sleeping at the same time each night according to their parents. Camps proved this as some children despite all the noise and excitement were asleep by 8:00p.m!
Research tells us that regular sleep patterns and plenty of sleep are needed for a healthy mind and body. Consider the following ideas that may help some families in establishing reasonable patterns with regard to bedtime.
Have a family meeting at the beginning of the week and look at the plans for that week. Discuss what time is agreed upon to go to bed each night. This may vary a little subject to family demands.
Discuss what bedtime looks like for each child. Is it reading for half an hour, listening to music etc? It may be different for each child subject to age and interests. Also daylight saving may present different challenges for bedtime arrangements.
Set up a chart perhaps on the fridge and agree to tick off each day after everyone has honoured the arrangements.
If the night before was successful remember to affirm everyone for their efforts. If not so successful gently discuss what prevented the plan from working well.
Parents should also put their plans in place and use the chart to show the children how important it is to reflect on how much sleep they are getting each night.
Check the environment in which the the child is sleeping. Are there too many lights to distract them set up around the house. This also applies to noise around the house at bedtime.
Sometimes children do need a soft light to assist in sleeping. This is all about discussing with them what makes them comfortable at bedtime. Respecting each child's feelings about sleep is important so that they understand you are listening as a parent to their concerns.
Also note that if the child is highly active before bed this could delay their ability to settle. Consider how to slow down the house stimulation before bedtime. Some parents find turning down lights is helpful to calm the home environment.
Whilst we all desire the routine and regularity of bedtime, I believe it is best to make it a weekly family discussion so that everyone is aware that regular sleep is valued in the family.
We are all working towards maintaining the best situation possible under the pressures of the week.
Happy sleeping!
Research tells us that regular sleep patterns and plenty of sleep are needed for a healthy mind and body.