Why Listening to Your Child Makes All the Difference
We often hear our children without truly listening. But when we pause with phone down and mind present, you will notice that something magical happens: They feel seen. Read on to discover why listening to your child makes all the difference.
In the rush of daily life, school drop-offs, dinner prep, work emails, it’s easy to hear our children without truly listening. But the difference between the two is powerful.
When you really listen to your child, not while looking at your phone or thinking about your next task, but with full attention, you send a clear message: You matter. Your thoughts are important. I see you. My thoughts are secondary.
Here’s what effective listening looks like:
Pause what you're doing and make eye contact.
Reflect back what they’ve said: “It sounds like you felt left out at lunch today.”
Resist the urge to jump in with solutions. Sometimes they just need a listener.
When you listen well:
You will understand your child more deeply.
You will feel better connected to them.
They will feel more invited into conversations.
You will enjoy your child more for what they really have to say.
Children who feel heard are more likely to talk, open up, and even cooperate more readily. In tough moments, your calm attention can be so powerful.
So today, take five minutes to listen with your whole self. You might be surprised at what your child has been waiting to tell you.
Why Really Listening to Your Child Matters
Ever find yourself nodding while your child talks, but your mind’s miles away? In this blog, we explore the power of truly listening. Just a few focused minutes can build trust, support mental wellbeing, and deepen your connection, more than you might think. Read on to find out how.
We’ve all done it. We nodded while our child is talking, but our minds are elsewhere. The dinner’s burning, a work email just pinged, or we’re mentally adding to the grocery list. But what if we told you that pausing and truly listening to your child, even for just a few minutes can shape their sense of security, boost their mental health, and strengthen your bond in ways that last a lifetime?
Listening Is More Than Hearing
Children don’t just need their words to be heard—they need to feel understood. When you give your child your full attention, you send a powerful message: You matter. Your thoughts matter. I’m here for you. Your voice is important.
The Everyday Magic of Listening
Let’s look at a few everyday examples:
• After School Decompression: Your child comes home from school and mumbles, “Today was awful.” You could brush it off with “You’re fine” or ask, “Want to tell me about it?” The second response shows care. You are not probing them with questions but merely suggesting you will listen.
• Tiny Voices, Big Feelings: A four-year-old melts down over the “wrong” colour cup. It’s tempting to say, “It doesn’t matter, just drink it.” But a better approach? “You really wanted the blue cup, didn’t you? That feels disappointing.” This response tells your child their feelings are real and manageable.
• Teen Talk: A teenager says, “I don’t think I’m good at anything.” That’s a big statement. Instead of jumping in with reassurance or solutions, try: “Tell me more. What makes you feel that way?” You’ll learn more, and they’ll feel safer opening up again. You are in fact a consultant there to listen wisely.
The Long-Term Payoff
When children know they are listened to:
• They’re more likely to talk to you when things are tough. They know that you will not jump in with judgements.
• They develop better emotional regulation. They become more in control.
• Their self-esteem grows. This is because people value them through listening.
• They feel safer, more connected, and less anxious. Why not when you have confidence that what you have to say is valued.
• They are more likely to seek out independence when allowed to talk freely uninhibited by opinions or judgements.
• A child feels worthy when being heard well.
• When a child feels heard by the parents they feel loved with shouting.
When children feel heard at home, they’re more likely to grow into adults who listen well, too.
Tips to Make Listening Easier
• Pause and Face Them: Even if it’s for a brief moment, give eye contact and undivided attention. Try not to get distracted.
• Repeat What You Heard: “So you felt left out at lunch?” This shows you're tuned in.
• Stay Curious, Not Critical: Questions like “What happened next?” or “How did that make you feel?” invite conversation.
• Resist the Fix-It Mode: Sometimes, they don’t need a solution—just a safe space to be heard. They will thank you for letting them solve their problems.
Final Thought
You don’t need to be a perfect parent, just be present. Listening is one of the simplest but most powerful tools we have. It doesn’t cost anything other than patience but can mean everything to your child. It is a big step in honouring their rights and dignity. The greatest gift you can give them isn't advice, it's attention.
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice”
How to Help Your Child Keep Friends: Simple Tips for Parents
Friendships are a big part of growing up. They help kids feel happy, supported, and confident. But keeping friends takes effort, and it’s not always easy. With a little guidance from you, your child can learn how to build lasting friendships and navigate social ups and downs.
Friendships are one of the most important parts of childhood. They help kids feel happy, confident, and supported. But keeping friends isn’t always easy! As a parent, you can help your child build strong, lasting friendships with some simple but powerful steps.
1. Teach the Power of Listening
Encourage your child to really listen when friends talk. It shows they care and helps them understand what their friends are feeling. Practise listening at home, maybe during dinner, ask your child to tell you about their day, then listen without interrupting. The hard part is not to interrupt
2. Model Kindness and Respect
Kids learn a lot from watching you. Show kindness, say “please” and “thank you,” and handle conflicts calmly. When your child sees this, they’re more likely to treat their friends the same way. Children gravitate around calmer, less complicated children.
3. Encourage Sharing and Taking Turns
Playing fair and sharing toys or time helps friendships grow. Role-play sharing scenarios with your child, so they feel confident in real situations.
4. Help Your Child Express Their Feelings
Friends need to know how your child feels. Teach simple words for emotions like “happy,” “sad,” or “frustrated.” This helps kids communicate better and avoid misunderstandings.
5. Support Problem-Solving Skills
When friends disagree, it’s a chance to practice solving problems. Guide your child to find solutions like apologizing, compromising, or asking an adult for help if needed.
6. Create Opportunities to Socialize
Arrange playdates, encourage team sports, or join clubs. The more chances your child has to interact with peers, the easier it is to make and keep friends.
7. Respect Their Friendships
Sometimes kids choose friends who are different from what you expect. Listen and be open-minded, showing respect for their choices builds trust. It is their job to decipher the genuine friends from the not so genuine friends.
Final thought:
Friendships take effort, but with your support, your child can learn how to keep friends and enjoy happy, confident social connections that last. The more they mature, the better they become at choosing friendships wisely.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”
Raise a Hopeful Child: The Power of a Proactive Parent
Tired of always reacting to meltdowns and lost lunchboxes? What if you could shape how your child sees the world instead? In this blog, we explore how small, proactive steps can build resilience and boost your child’s mental health.
As parents, we often find ourselves reacting to moods, meltdowns, lost lunchboxes, and unexpected worries. What if, instead of reacting, we became proactive in shaping the way our children see the world?
Taking a proactive stand isn’t just about routines and boundaries (though those matter). It’s about becoming a quiet architect of your child’s mindset, helping them build resilience, hope, and the ability to look for opportunity even in tough times.
Why Proactive Parenting Matters for Mental Health
Children’s mental health isn’t only about what goes wrong, anxiety, sadness, or stress but about what’s built up before those moments. A proactive approach gives your child tools to handle life before it overwhelms them. It's a map through the storm. A positive outlook in a parent is very catchy with their child.
1. Speak the Language of Possibility
Children are always listening. Every time we say, “That’s too hard,” they absorb that as truth. But if we say, “Let’s try,” or “We’ll figure it out,” we are teaching them to hope. Anything is possible is the motto.
Try this:
Instead of: “Maths is hard, isn’t it?”
Say: “This looks tricky, but let’s see what we can do.”
Over time, your child starts to think, “I can try,” rather than, “I’m stuck.”
2. Name Strengths, Not Just Struggles
It’s easy to focus on what children aren’t doing — not sitting still, not finishing homework, not listening. But if we call out what is working, we help them see themselves as capable.
Example:
“You really kept going, even when that puzzle was frustrating. That’s called perseverance. It’s a brilliant strength.” Naming the good makes it grow. Be an opportunist, spot the strengths.
3. Model Hope, Even in Small Things
If your child sees you problem-solve calmly, laugh at mistakes, and stay optimistic, they’re more likely to do the same. Be authentic when dealing with your child.
For instance:
When plans change unexpectedly, say:
“Well, that’s not what we thought would happen! Let’s make a Plan B.”
This shows them that life doesn’t have to go perfectly to go well.
4. Ask Empowering Questions
When your child is upset, don’t rush in with solutions. Instead, invite them to think.
• “What do you think we could try next?”
• “What helped last time?”
• “If your friend felt like this, what would you say to them?”
These questions grow problem-solving skills and emotional confidence.
What’s the Takeaway?
Being proactive isn’t about being perfect. It’s about planting seeds of courage, optimism, and hope in the everyday moments. It’s small words, quiet praise, and helping your child look ahead instead of feeling stuck.
“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.”
Raising a Confident Child in Today’s Classroom: 5 Surprising Ways Parents Can Help
Confidence is a skill, not a trait and it grows with practice, praise, and patience. Every child develops it differently, and that’s okay. Explore the five simple ways to support your child’s confidence in today’s classroom.
Let’s face it: school can be a confidence minefield. Whether it’s answering a question in front of the class, navigating friendship drama, or simply speaking up when they need help, many children hold back, often because they don’t believe in themselves and they are just not socially sure of themselves.
As a parent, you’re in the perfect position to quietly build that belief. Confidence needs to be lived, practised, and grown like a muscle.
Here are 5 innovative, real-world ideas to help your child grow in confidence at school and beyond.
1. Let Your Child Be the Expert (at Home and in Public)
Why it works: When children teach something, they feel powerful and valued. Explaining ideas helps them process and internalize knowledge, and boosts their confidence to speak out in class.
Try this:
Ask your child to explain a concept they’re learning like fractions, life cycles, or even a new word and record a mini “teaching video” for a grandparent or cousin.
Out in the world? Ask them to order the food, check the train times, or explain a museum exhibit to you like they’re your tour guide.
The more they hear their own voice doing real life activities in a responsible way the more they grow sure of themselves.
2. Schedule One “Mini Risk” a Week
Why it works: Confidence comes from doing, especially things that feel a bit uncomfortable. Regular small challenges build resilience and trust in their own ability.
Try this:
Make a “Mini Risk Jar” with your child. Fill it with fun, doable dares:
Ask a new friend to play
Try a new club
Put your hand up once a day
Present a joke at dinner
Talk about any risks you have taken recently.
Celebrate attempts, not outcomes. Praise the trying, not the success. Comment on the effort made and how this is successful.
3. Ditch “Be Confident”. Say This Instead
Why it works: “Be confident” is vague. Kids need tools. Swapping language helps them link confidence to specific actions.
Try this:
Replace “Be confident” with:
“Speak like you’re helping someone understand”
“Stand like a superhero, feet planted, eyes up”
“Remember, your voice is a gift”
Real story: A dad told his son, “Stand like Spider-Man before he saves the day.” The next morning, the boy stood taller during show-and-tell and actually smiled.
4. Let Them Hear You Fail (and Bounce Back)
Why it works: Children often believe adults are always right, always perfect. When you model what it looks like to get something wrong and keep going, you give them permission to do the same. Be authentic and let them see the real you with warts and all.
Try this:
Talk aloud about your mistakes: “I totally messed up that email but here’s how I fixed it.”
Share how you felt, what you did next, and how you kept perspective.
“I told my son about how I froze during a meeting. He said, ‘That’s like when I forgot my line in the play!’ Suddenly, we were teammates.”
5. Confidence Grows in the Quiet, Too
Why it works: Not all confidence is loud. Some children shine by preparing quietly and leading gently. That’s not shyness, it’s strength.
Try this:
Create “backstage” confidence moments: help them prep for a class talk with cue cards or rehearse a social scenario with stuffed animals.
Praise thoughtful acts: “You noticed Ella was left out. That’s real leadership.”
Remind them: confidence isn’t always about being first, it’s about being ready.
Affirm those quiet moments when you notice behaviour that is helpful to others.
A Final Word
Confidence is not a personality trait—it’s a learnt skill. And like any skill, it grows best with practice, praise, and patience. Every child will be different in how they show confidence and for some it is a slow, steady progress. We need to be patient.
You don’t need to push your child to be the loudest, the fastest, or the most outgoing. You just need to show them they’re seen, heard, and capable, especially when they doubt it. Let them develop their voice in their own time.
Start small. Celebrate progress. And trust that each brave step they take, no matter how tiny, is shaping a stronger future.
Helping Your Child Find Balance in their busy life
Too many activities, too much pressure, and too little downtime can leave children overwhelmed. The good news? Balance can be taught. Home can be a space where your child learns to pause, play, and thrive. Read on to discover simple ways to bring more balance into your child’s life.
As parents, we want our children to thrive but sometimes, we accidentally give them too much. Too many clubs, too many lessons, too much screen time, or even too much pressure to “succeed.” The result? Stressed-out children who don’t know how to stop, breathe, or just be. In fact they can feel inadequate if they are not constantly in action. Classrooms are places where children learn how to balance the day between work and play.
But balance is something we can teach. Home life can be built around balance for a child.
Consider:
Spot the Imbalance
Start by observing your child’s week. Are they always rushing from one thing to the next? Is there time in their day for:
• Rest?
• Play (the unstructured, silly, no-goal kind)?
• Movement?
• Stillness?
• Time with you?
How about introducing a nothing day. Here your child can be creative, be still or enjoy not being accountable.
Teach the “Juggle” with Jars
Children are visual. Try this at home:
• Take three jars. Label them Work, Play, and Rest.
• Give your child 10 marbles (or buttons).
• Ask them to drop the marbles into the jars to show how they spent their day.
Most children will drop them all into “Work” (school, homework, chores) and “Play” (devices, sports). "Rest" is often forgotten.
Talk about it:
What could go into the "Rest" jar? Reading a quiet book? Drawing? Sitting in the garden? You’ll be surprised how much this simple activity gets them thinking and talking.
Model the Balance
Children copy what they see. If you never rest, they won’t think it’s allowed. If you always check your phone while talking to them, they learn to do the same.
Try this:
• Announce you're going for a 10-minute walk “to reset your brain.”
• Sit with a cup of tea and say, “I need a moment of quiet today.”
• Say “no” to something and explain why.
It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be real. Let them see how just being you is a comfortable space to live in.
Make “Bored” a Good Word
When your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t rush to fix it. Boredom is the starting block for being creative and problem-solving. Let them simply be bored for a while.
Example:
Jack (9) whined for half an hour that there was “nothing to do” one Sunday. His parents didn’t react. Ten minutes later, he’d turned the sofa into a pirate ship with a tea towel on his head.
Boredom worked. A child needs that kind of time to slow down their overthinking and just let it happen.
Balance Looks Different for Every Child
Some kids need quiet to recharge; others need movement. Some love a packed schedule; others melt under pressure. Every child is different and if you have more than one child I am sure you have noticed that already!
Ask regularly:
• “Are you enjoying what you’re doing?”
• “Is there something you’d like to do less of?”
• “Do you feel tired or happy at the end of the day?”
Make sure they are not trying to be overactive to simply prove how capable they are. You love them for just being them. This may mean that the pace is varied for different children in the family.
Balance is a Gift
Balance isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about giving our children the tools to check in with themselves, make choices, and build a life that works for them. It’s not just a childhood skill, it’s a life skill. When a child likes the balance in their life they can really savour different aspects of their world. For example, rest and recreation is as valuable as high level activity.
"I Just Don’t Know How to Help!" – A Parent’s Guide to Coping When School Gets Tough
Let’s take a closer look at how to gently support your child when school becomes a challenge. With slow, steady support, regular check-ins, and working through the ups and downs together, you’ll be showing them the kind of care that builds trust and resilience. Let’s break it down and explore how you can navigate this journey together.
Being a parent isn’t easy at the best of times, but when your child is upset about school or you’re worried they’re falling behind, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder: Should I speak to the teacher? Should I push harder or back off? What if I make it worse?
You're not alone. Many parents feel this way. Let’s talk about what to do when school feels difficult for your child and for you.
Start with Listening
When a child says, “I hate school,” or “I’m bad at reading,” our instinct is often to jump in with reassurance or solutions. But first, just listen. Give them your full attention even just 5 minutes of focused listening can unlock what’s really going on.
Try saying:
• “I am wondering how school went today.”
• “That sounds tough. I’d feel upset too.”
Remember this is not about giving them the answers. At this stage it is simply listening and feeling their concern.
Break the Problem Into Small Pieces
Big school problems often have small, manageable parts. Once your child feels heard, you can gently help them name the problem.
Example issues:
• “I don’t get maths” might actually mean “I got stuck on subtraction.”
• “No one likes me” might mean “Two friends wouldn’t play with me today.”
Help your child zoom in. Small problems are easier to talk about and easier to solve. For the child at the time, they seem insurmountable.
Make a Simple Action Plan (Together)
Children feel more confident when they’re part of the solution. They need to feel ownership of the issue. Once you've listened and broken the problem down, brainstorm one small step together.
Examples of action steps:
• Practising reading at home to build confidence
• Writing a short note to the teacher about a worry
• Role-playing what to say to a friend at playtime
For you: Don’t hesitate to send a quick message to the teacher. A simple, kind email like “My child is a bit anxious about PE. Any suggestions?” can open a helpful door.
Let Go of "Perfect"
You don’t have to be a teacher or a therapist. You don’t need perfect answers. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Just showing up, listening, and caring makes a huge difference.
If you're trying, you're already helping. Being authentic shows the child you are really wanting to help.
Some Reassurance
Most school struggles are temporary. Children are resilient and bounce back, especially when they have a parent who’s in their corner. This is not about solving the problem for them but being there, listening and together working on solutions. If you, the parent, take full ownership of their problem, they will disengage from it and they will have learnt nothing.
Example:
Tom, age 9, was refusing to go to school. After some gentle chats, his dad realized Tom was scared about changing seats. A quick word with the teacher helped, and they worked out a solution. Within a week, Tom was back at school and smiling.
One Last Thought
When school is tough, it can feel like you're both in the storm. But storms pass. What matters most is that your child knows you're by their side..With slow and steady support, recognizing that it is a problem for them is critical to their sense of security. Working through the problem together and checking in to see how they are going is the best way to show you care.
As a parent remember to listen well
Children learn by example, and when parents practice active listening, they teach valuable communication skills. When a child feels heard, they understand that their thoughts and feelings matter, building their confidence and sense of self-worth. Gail Smith shares five compelling reasons why truly listening to your child is essential for their emotional and social development.
Here are five powerful reasons why parents need to truly listen to their child, each with a sharp and effective well-being message:
Small Problems Now Prevent Big Problems Later
When kids feel heard about small worries (like a bad day at school), they’re more likely to share big issues (like bullying or anxiety) later. Dismissing small concerns teaches them their voice doesn’t matter. Sometimes they cannot decipher between what is big and little with their worries.
Listening Builds Confidence, Not Silence
A child who feels listened to learns that their thoughts and feelings are important. A constantly interrupted or dismissed child learns to stay quiet, even when they desperately need help. Being silent, they feel is a safe position.
Strong Parent-Child Bonds Reduce Anxiety
Studies show that children who feel heard by their parents develop better emotional regulation and experience less anxiety and stress. Feeling understood creates a deep sense of security. If you are heard you are more confident in yourself.
Kids Who Are Heard Become Adults Who Speak Up
When parents actively listen, kids grow up with the confidence to set boundaries, express their needs, and advocate for themselves in friendships, school, and later in life. For them, talking up is their strength.
Unspoken Feelings Don’t Disappear—They Show Up in Behaviour
When children feel ignored, their emotions often turn into anger, defiance, withdrawal, or anxiety. Listening is the first step in helping them healthily process their feelings. They need to use their voice.
Remember children learn by example and if you are a good listener to others they will see how effective this is in communicating well. If a child feels that they are being listened to, they know they are valued and that what they have to say really matters.
“Be patient when listening to your child. You will hear so much but within their talk there is an important message that will come through.”
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It
Supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Gail Smith shares simple yet effective ways that you can apply to make a real difference in supporting your child's mental health.
School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.
Consider:
Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too
Kids can't manage what they can't name.
Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:
• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”
• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”
Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”
Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.
Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School
Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.
Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:
• 20 minutes of quiet play
• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa
• Listening to music together
Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results
When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:
• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”
• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”
Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.
Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed
Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.
Ask casually:
• “Who did you hang out with today?”
• “What was the best part of playtime?”
If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.
Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.
Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up
If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.
Example email you could send:
"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."
Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.
“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”
How to Help Your Child Thrive at School Without the Stress!
School life is full of twists, turns, and loop-the-loops. As a parent, you’re the safety harness, keeping your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s the quick-start guide to helping your child navigate school life with confidence and ease.
School life can be a roller coaster—exciting one day, exhausting the next! As a parent, you’re the safety harness that keeps your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you best support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s your quick-start guide:
Be Their Cheerleader, Not Their Coach
Your child needs to know you’re on their team. Celebrate effort over results, and remind them that mistakes are part of learning. A simple “I love how hard you tried!” can work wonders.
Create a ‘Safe Space’ at Home
Home should be a refuge, not an extension of the classroom. Keep homework sessions stress-free, encourage breaks, and make time for laughter. A relaxed child learns better!
Listen More Than You Talk
Ask open-ended questions: “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you think today?” Let them open up on their terms. Sometimes, they just need to vent! Sometimes they just want to also be silent
Teach Resilience, Not Perfection
Life at school won’t always be smooth sailing. Help them handle setbacks with confidence. Instead of fixing problems for them, guide them to find their own solutions. Develop independent thinking in your child.
Prioritise Sleep, Food & Fun
Tired, hungry kids struggle. A good routine, healthy meals, and plenty of play keep their energy and mood in check. A happy child learns better than a stressed one.
Stay Connected (Without Hovering!)
Be involved—know their friends, show up at school events, chat with teachers. But avoid micromanaging! Your child needs space to grow independently.
Lead by Example
If you stay positive about school, they’ll pick up on that. Show enthusiasm for learning, handle challenges calmly, and they’ll mirror your mindset.
Your support doesn’t have to be complicated. Just being present, listening, and creating a positive home environment can make all the difference. So, go on, cheer them on, lift them up, and enjoy the journey together!
“Learning for your child will happen anywhere and at anytime if they are happy and secure.”
Helping Your Child Navigate Friendships and Challenges
Navigating friendships, forming them, losing them, and finding new ones is a natural part of childhood and essential for social and emotional growth. Here are five impactful ways parents can guide their children in fostering strong, healthy friendships and overcoming the challenges that come with them.
Friendships play a huge role in a child's school experience, shaping their confidence, happiness, and even their academic success. But as every parent knows, friendships come with ups and downs — disagreements, peer pressure, and the heartbreak of feeling left out. Here are five powerful ways parents can help their children build strong, healthy friendships while overcoming challenges.
1. Teach Empathy Through Storytelling
Children who understand how others feel are more likely to form meaningful friendships and handle conflicts with kindness.
Example: If your child tells you a friend was unkind, instead of immediately taking sides, ask: “How do you think they were feeling? Why might they have acted that way?” Reading books about friendship together or sharing your own childhood stories can help children develop empathy and perspective.
2. Role-Play Difficult Social Situations
Many children struggle to know what to say or do in tricky situations. Practising responses in a safe environment can give them the confidence to handle challenges.
Example: If your child is feeling left out at playtime, practise possible conversations:
“Can I join in?” or “Hey, do you want to play together today?”
If they’re dealing with a bossy friend, teach them how to say:
“I like playing with you, but I also want to make my own choices.”
3. Model Positive Friendships at Home
Children learn the most about relationships by watching their parents. If they see you handling disagreements respectfully and maintaining friendships, they’ll follow suit.
Example: If you have a disagreement with a friend or partner, show your child how to resolve it with kindness. Say things like:
“I was upset earlier, but I talked to my friend, and we worked it out.
This teaches them that disagreements don’t mean the end of a friendship—they can be worked through.
4. Encourage a ‘Wide Net’ of Friends
Relying on just one friend can be risky—if there’s a fallout, children can feel completely alone. Encourage them to be open to different friendships.
Example: If your child always plays with the same person, suggest inviting another classmate to join an activity. Say:
“I love that you and Emily are close! Why don’t we invite Mia over too?”
Encouraging group friendships helps children avoid being overly dependent on one person.
5. Teach Resilience When Friendships Change
Friendships naturally shift over time, and not every friendship lasts forever. Teaching your child to accept change helps them build emotional strength.
Example: If your child is upset that a friend has started playing with someone else, acknowledge their feelings but also provide perspective:
“It’s hard when friendships change, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find new great friends.”
Encourage activities where they can meet new friends, like clubs or sports, so they learn that one friendship ending isn’t the end of the world.
Forming friends, losing them and realigning yourself to new groups is a normal part of the childhood development in social and emotional growth. There will be disappointments and successes. There will be sharp reminders about how relationships can change and effect very quickly your well being. As a parent be a good listener and be inclusive with all their friends not showing judgement or bias. Your child needs to walk the road that will ultimately lead them to forming happy stable relationships that are inclusive and that build in them strong emotional intelligence.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.”
Five simple but practical ideas for parents to find a balance between a busy life and dealing with school matters.
Balancing work, life, and your child’s school commitments can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Gail Smith shares five simple yet practical tips to help busy parents stay engaged with their child’s education while managing their own demanding schedules. While perfection may be out of reach, these strategies can help you find a better, more manageable balance.
Consider these five simple but practical ideas for parents to balance their busy lives while staying engaged with your child’s school matters:
The 10-Minute School Check-in
Set aside just 10 minutes a day to ask about school—over breakfast, on the drive home, or at bedtime. Keep it simple: "What was the best part of your day?" or "Did anything tricky happen today?" Small conversations build strong connections without overwhelming your schedule.
Use Technology to Stay Updated
Sign up for school emails, apps, or newsletters to get quick updates without needing extra time. Skim through messages during coffee breaks or while waiting in line. If possible, set up alerts for key school dates so you don’t miss important events.
Prioritize What Really Matters
You don’t have to attend every event! Choose one or two school activities per term that fit your schedule, like a parents’ evening or a fun day. This keeps you involved without adding stress.
Turn Everyday Moments into Learning
Use daily tasks to support your child’s education. Cooking? Talk about measurements. Shopping? Discuss money and budgeting. This helps reinforce school skills without extra work.
Team Up with Other Parents
Share school runs, swap event updates, or take turns attending meetings and passing on key points. A parent support network lightens the load and keeps everyone informed.
School is ever present in your life as well as your own work demands. There is never a perfect balance, but finding opportunities to throw in a few educational moments and to simply enjoy your child, is so important across that busy week.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
Starting School in 2025
Ease your child's transition into a new school year by talking positively about the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy, and practice morning routines to help them feel prepared. Offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Starting school can be an exciting but anxious time for some children as they face new routines, environments, and people. To help ease their worries, talk positively about school, focusing on the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy. Practice routines like getting ready in the morning, and visit the school beforehand if possible to familiarize them with the surroundings. Listen to their concerns and reassure them that it's okay to feel nervous. Most importantly, offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Consider:
.Be patient with your child.
Listen well to what they say in the first few weeks.
Be available especially after school for some time.
Change will occur with reshuffled friendship groups and familiarising themselves with the teacher. However, change is a good thing!
“The secret of change is to focus all our energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
Opinions: Can be damning to a child if not managed well
Everyone has opinions, but it’s important to teach children not to base their self-worth on what others think. Gail Smith shares tips on how to help kids understand that they are capable of making good decisions for themselves and should trust their own judgment.
We all have opinions. What we need to teach our children is that you do not judge yourself on what others think of you. From an early age we remind our children that they are worthy of making good judgements for themselves.
Teach your children that:
• What other people say about or to you can only affect you if you believe them. This is all about building their self worth.
• You are in charge of how you feel. When you get others bringing you down keep reminding yourself that they have no value at all.
• No one can make you feel inferior without our consent, said Eleanor Roosevelt. Therefore, you do not give anyone consent to put you down.
• Be proud of your opinions and know that they are valued. Not everyone may believe them but they are yours to own and to express to others. After all success comes from believing in yourself.
• Gravitate around positive people that are not in the habit of bringing people down. This makes for happier lasting friendships.
• People that have strong opinions about others are usually very poor listeners and are not interesting to be around as a friend. In fact they can bring you down very easily as they control the conversations usually in a negative way.
• Choose friends wisely as this will be a big boost to a happy childhood.
Finally teach your children that you are there to listen to them with no judgement and that you value what they have to say. With affirming parenting, they will take advantage of your wisdom.
“Listen to your child’s opinions and applaud their creative approach to life.”
Teach your child to set goals. It is a great life skill.
The more your child develops their independence by relying less on others and more on themselves, the more they become inclined to set their own personal goals with confidence and determination. In her insightful discussion, Gail Smith shares some practical and effective suggestions to help your child in this important area of growth and self-discovery.
Sometimes the thought of setting up goals can be daunting. If however, you teach your child to start small and build up slowly, their expectations will grow steadily and they will gradually see the fruits of their labour. Once feeling success from setting goals the interest grows in setting up more goals.
Here are some suggestions to help your child in this area. The examples are helpful to put goal setting in context.
Start Small
Encourage setting small, achievable goals to build confidence.
• Example: "This week, let's try to clean up your toys every day before dinner."
Lead by Example
Show them how you set and achieve your own goals.
• Example: "I want to read one book this month. What goal can you set for yourself?"
Break Big Goals into Steps
Teach them to divide larger goals into manageable tasks.
• Example: "You want to finish your school project. Let's start by gathering materials today."
Celebrate Progress
Recognize and reward efforts to keep motivation high.
• Example: "You practised piano for 10 minutes every day this week—let's celebrate with a special treat!"
Make Goals Fun
Turn goal-setting into a game or challenge.
• Example: "Let’s see if you can improve your running time by 10 seconds each week. We'll keep track together!"
Teach Reflection
Encourage them to think about what worked and what didn't after achieving (or not achieving) their goal.
• Example: "You finished your book! How did breaking it into chapters help you reach your goal?"
Encourage Long-term Goals
Help them think ahead and set goals that take longer to achieve.
• Example: "You want to learn to ride a bike without training wheels. Let’s practice for 15 minutes every day."
Provide Support and Guidance
Offer help without doing it for them, so they feel ownership of their goals.
• Example: "I'll help you study for your spelling test, but you can choose the words you need to practice."
In simple ways you can use goals setting as a way of life. The more your child grows independent of relying less on others and more on themselves, the more they are inclined to set their own goals with confidence.
“Be a goal setter in your own life and see how your child will easily adapt to such habits.”
What lifelong lessons do you want your child to adopt?
While we teach our children many valuable lessons throughout their formative years, some hold a special, lasting significance that will undoubtedly benefit them well into adulthood. Gail Smith wisely compiled a list of important beliefs and practical strategies on how to effectively impart them to your children.
There are many lessons we teach our children but there are some that will have a longer life and will be of much value if they adopt them when they are adults. For example, you may teach your child how to ride a bike but how does that compare to teaching them how to be a well-rounded person with strong values and a love for life.
Consider the following beliefs and maybe some may particularly resonate with you:
"You are loved unconditionally."
Lesson: No matter what happens, you are always loved and accepted for who you are.
How to teach: Show affection through words and actions daily. When they make mistakes, reassure them that mistakes don’t change your love for them. This creates emotional security.
"Your feelings are valid."
Lesson: It's okay to feel angry, sad, happy, or confused. All emotions are part of being human.
How to teach: Acknowledge and talk through their emotions without judgement. If they’re upset, say, "I see you're upset; it's okay to feel that way. Let's figure it out together."
"It's okay to fail; failure is how we learn."
Lesson: Failure is a natural part of life and leads to growth.
How to teach: Share your own failures and what you learned from them. Encourage them to try new things without fear of messing up. Praise their efforts, not just their success.
"Be kind to yourself and others."
Lesson: Self-compassion is just as important as being kind to others.
How to teach: Model self-kindness by speaking positively about yourself in front of them. Teach empathy by helping them understand how others feel and encouraging acts of kindness.
"You are enough just as you are."
Lesson: You don’t need to change to be worthy of love and respect.
How to teach: Regularly remind them of their worth. Say things like, "You are amazing just the way you are." Celebrate their unique traits and talents, reinforcing that they don't need to compare themselves to others.
"Challenges make you stronger."
Lesson: Difficulties and obstacles help you grow and build resilience.
How to teach: When they face a challenge, encourage them to keep going, reassuring them that struggles are part of life. Share examples of people who overcame adversity and how it shaped them.
"You always have choices."
Lesson: Even in tough situations, you have the power to choose how you respond.
How to teach: Give them choices from a young age, allowing them to make decisions and understand the consequences. Teach them that they can’t control everything, but they can control how they react.
"Take care of your mind and body."
Lesson: Your mental and physical well-being are interconnected, and both need care.
How to teach: Teach healthy habits like eating well, staying active, and practicing mindfulness. Encourage them to talk about their feelings and take breaks when overwhelmed.
"Be true to yourself."
Lesson: Follow your heart, and don’t live to please others.
How to teach: Encourage self-expression and support their interests, even if they are different from your own. Reinforce the idea that their happiness is not about pleasing others but about being authentic.
"Life is a journey, not a race."
Lesson: There’s no need to rush; it’s okay to move at your own pace.
How to teach: Avoid pressuring them to achieve milestones quickly. Help them appreciate the process of learning and growing instead of focusing solely on outcomes.
Simply use life experiences to teach the above lessons. There will be plenty of occasions along their journey to adulthood to test some of the beliefs above. Keep in mind that your example of how you live life will be an important guideline for your child especially if they see that you are happy in the choices you make.
“Every child deserves a champion- an adult who understands the power of connection and insists that they become the best that can possibly be.”
Let’s look at conversations to have with your child
By having regular, open conversations, parents can nurture a positive outlook in their child’s life. Here are five meaningful topics parents can frequently discuss to support mental health, instill confidence, and remind children that they are always loved. Read on to learn how these conversations can help your child grow with confidence and emotional security.
Here are five great conversation topics that parents can frequently discuss with their children to support mental health, foster a positive disposition, and reassure them of being loved. Frequent positive reminders are healthy ways to give a positive outlook to a growing child and to build emotional intelligence.
Emotions and Feelings
Topic: "How are you feeling today? It's okay to have all kinds of emotions."
Purpose: Encourage emotional expression and validation of feelings. This helps children understand that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that their feelings are important.
Reassuring Message: "No matter how you feel, I'm always here to listen and support you."
Self-Worth and Inner Strength
Topic: "What do you think makes you special or unique?"
Purpose: This encourages self-reflection and builds self-esteem by helping the child recognize their strengths, talents, and individuality.
Reassuring Message: "You are amazing just the way you are, and I love you for who you are."
Challenges and Problem-Solving
Topic: "What was something challenging today, and how did you handle it?"
Purpose: Encouraging conversations about handling challenges reinforces resilience and problem-solving skills, helping children approach difficulties with a positive mindset.
Reassuring Message: "No matter what happens, you’re strong, and I believe in your ability to get through tough times."
Gratitude and Positivity
Topic: "What are three things you’re thankful for today?"
Purpose: Fostering gratitude can shift the focus toward the positive aspects of life, promoting optimism and mental well-being.
Reassuring Message: "Even when things are hard, there’s always something good, and I’m grateful to have you in my life."
Love and Belonging
Topic: "What’s something fun we could do together soon?"
Purpose: Strengthen the parent-child bond by focusing on shared experiences, making the child feel valued and connected.
Reassuring Message: "You are always loved, no matter what, and spending time with you makes me happy."
Frequent conversations on these topics not only build a child's mental resilience but also provide the emotional security that they are loved and supported unconditionally. Every child needs reassurance and will from time to time need that extra reassurance that their world is fine.
“A parent’s positive reassurance is a life line to a child.”
What lessons in life do you want to teach your children?
As parents, we teach our children countless lessons, but some hold a special significance in shaping their happiness and balance in life. The five lessons below are particularly important to instill, not through grand gestures, but through authenticity and sharing our everyday experiences. Ultimately, being truthful and genuine in our interactions with our children is the most powerful way to guide them.
There are many lessons we teach our children, but some should have more reticence than others for our children to have happy well-balanced lives. Consider the five lessons below and it may be worth reflecting on how we teach our children these lessons.
Kindness Matters
Lesson: Always treat others with kindness and respect, no matter the situation.
How Taught: You've modelled kindness in your own interactions, showing empathy and compassion in everyday situations, whether it's helping a neighbour or speaking politely to strangers.
Be True to Yourself
Lesson: Stay true to who you are, even when it's difficult. Your uniqueness is your strength.
How Taught: You've encouraged your child to pursue their passions and supported them in making choices that align with their values, even if those choices are different from the norm.
Learn from Mistakes
Lesson: Mistakes are part of life. Learn from them and keep moving forward.
How Taught: You've shared your own mistakes openly and discussed what you learned from them. You've also reassured your child that it’s okay to fail, as long as they try again.
Hard Work Pays Off
Lesson: Success comes from hard work and perseverance, not just luck.
How Taught: You've demonstrated a strong work ethic, whether through your job or personal projects, and involved your child in tasks that require effort and patience, showing them the value of dedication.
Take Care of Yourself
Lesson: Your well-being is important. Take care of your mind and body.
How Taught: You've prioritized self-care in your own life, whether through exercise, healthy eating, or taking time to relax. You’ve also encouraged your child to express their feelings and take breaks when needed.
It is amazing what a child takes into their life from their childhood. Your efforts need be no more than being authentic and sharing your life with your child. Best to make it worthwhile for both you and your child.
“Leave your child with memories of a happy, well-balanced childhood. It pays dividends for them in their older life.”
Good principles of parenting
The idea of being a perfect parent is a myth. Instead, Gail Smith shares some fundamental principles that can guide us through the ups and downs of parenting. These practices will help you navigate challenges and changes with greater confidence throughout your parenting journey.
Let’s keep in mind that our parenting will keep changing as we gradually grow into it and as our children grow older and their needs change. It is in constant evolution. What we need to keep stable are some fundamental principles of good parenting. They will hold us in good stead in times of turbulence and change throughout our parenting years.
Consider the following principles:
Unconditional Love
Love your child for who they are, not just for what they do. Your love is their safe haven in the world. Unconditional love means that despite behaviour that you do not like, you still love the child. It is only behaviour driven by some anxiety.
Active Listening
When you listen to your child with an open heart, you show them that their voice matters. It's the key to understanding and connection. Effective listening allows the child to feel heard and valued. They are then more inclined to go to you when they are anxious and need to be heard.
Setting Boundaries with Empathy
Boundaries are like the walls of a safe playground. Set them with love and understanding, so your child can explore the world confidently. Boundaries allow the child to know where they stand and what matters to you the parent.
Positive Reinforcement
Praise their effort and progress, not just the end result. Your encouragement fuels their motivation to learn and grow. Be specific when praising. Let the child know what is valued in the praise.
Teaching Through Example
Your actions speak louder than words. Be the role model you want your child to follow, and they'll learn from your example.
Embracing Mistakes as Learning
Mistakes are stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Show your child that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn and improve. Let them see in your own life how you use mistakes to inform your life. Talk openly about how mistakes are a great learning tool.
Provide a safe haven
A child that feels safe takes more risks and learns more confidently through their home environment. Set it up so that conversation is encouraged and affirmation is given regularly. Let there be no judgement on their efforts.
Set up a positive learning environment
This should be a creative space where your child feels safe to talk about issues, develop ideas and discuss topics. Allow your child to explore their thinking in a home and family environment that is open to ideas and questions all the time. They will feel free to be creative and extend ideas and thoughts well beyond the conventional.
We can never be the perfect parent. That is a myth. We can however be a parent that understands and works hard to practise some basis principles that hold strong and true through your rearing years.
“Learning some basic principles of parenting provides a safety zone for good parenting.”