How to Help Your Child Keep Friends: Simple Tips for Parents
Friendships are a big part of growing up. They help kids feel happy, supported, and confident. But keeping friends takes effort, and it’s not always easy. With a little guidance from you, your child can learn how to build lasting friendships and navigate social ups and downs.
Friendships are one of the most important parts of childhood. They help kids feel happy, confident, and supported. But keeping friends isn’t always easy! As a parent, you can help your child build strong, lasting friendships with some simple but powerful steps.
1. Teach the Power of Listening
Encourage your child to really listen when friends talk. It shows they care and helps them understand what their friends are feeling. Practise listening at home, maybe during dinner, ask your child to tell you about their day, then listen without interrupting. The hard part is not to interrupt
2. Model Kindness and Respect
Kids learn a lot from watching you. Show kindness, say “please” and “thank you,” and handle conflicts calmly. When your child sees this, they’re more likely to treat their friends the same way. Children gravitate around calmer, less complicated children.
3. Encourage Sharing and Taking Turns
Playing fair and sharing toys or time helps friendships grow. Role-play sharing scenarios with your child, so they feel confident in real situations.
4. Help Your Child Express Their Feelings
Friends need to know how your child feels. Teach simple words for emotions like “happy,” “sad,” or “frustrated.” This helps kids communicate better and avoid misunderstandings.
5. Support Problem-Solving Skills
When friends disagree, it’s a chance to practice solving problems. Guide your child to find solutions like apologizing, compromising, or asking an adult for help if needed.
6. Create Opportunities to Socialize
Arrange playdates, encourage team sports, or join clubs. The more chances your child has to interact with peers, the easier it is to make and keep friends.
7. Respect Their Friendships
Sometimes kids choose friends who are different from what you expect. Listen and be open-minded, showing respect for their choices builds trust. It is their job to decipher the genuine friends from the not so genuine friends.
Final thought:
Friendships take effort, but with your support, your child can learn how to keep friends and enjoy happy, confident social connections that last. The more they mature, the better they become at choosing friendships wisely.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It
Supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Gail Smith shares simple yet effective ways that you can apply to make a real difference in supporting your child's mental health.
School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.
Consider:
Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too
Kids can't manage what they can't name.
Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:
• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”
• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”
Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”
Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.
Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School
Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.
Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:
• 20 minutes of quiet play
• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa
• Listening to music together
Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results
When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:
• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”
• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”
Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.
Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed
Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.
Ask casually:
• “Who did you hang out with today?”
• “What was the best part of playtime?”
If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.
Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.
Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up
If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.
Example email you could send:
"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."
Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.
“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”
Encourage a Wide Net of Friends: Why It Matters.
Friendships are key to a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Gail Smith highlights why encouraging kids to embrace new friendships is so important.
Friendships are essential for a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Encouraging a variety of friendships helps children grow socially and emotionally. They are also more receptive to accepting difference.
Less Heartbreak, More Support – If one friend is absent or drifts away, your child won’t feel alone.
Stronger Social Skills – Different friends mean learning to communicate and connect in new ways.
Confidence Booster – A mix of friendships builds self-esteem and reduces social anxiety.
More Fun, Less Drama – Group play means fewer fallouts and more opportunities for joy.
Life-Long Resilience – Adapting to different personalities prepares children for real-world relationships.
Encourage your child to be open to new friendships—it builds a stronger, happier, and more adaptable future! Avoid being judgmental or critical of friends they choose. In time they will work through who are truly friends.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”
Helping Your Child Navigate Friendships and Challenges
Navigating friendships, forming them, losing them, and finding new ones is a natural part of childhood and essential for social and emotional growth. Here are five impactful ways parents can guide their children in fostering strong, healthy friendships and overcoming the challenges that come with them.
Friendships play a huge role in a child's school experience, shaping their confidence, happiness, and even their academic success. But as every parent knows, friendships come with ups and downs — disagreements, peer pressure, and the heartbreak of feeling left out. Here are five powerful ways parents can help their children build strong, healthy friendships while overcoming challenges.
1. Teach Empathy Through Storytelling
Children who understand how others feel are more likely to form meaningful friendships and handle conflicts with kindness.
Example: If your child tells you a friend was unkind, instead of immediately taking sides, ask: “How do you think they were feeling? Why might they have acted that way?” Reading books about friendship together or sharing your own childhood stories can help children develop empathy and perspective.
2. Role-Play Difficult Social Situations
Many children struggle to know what to say or do in tricky situations. Practising responses in a safe environment can give them the confidence to handle challenges.
Example: If your child is feeling left out at playtime, practise possible conversations:
“Can I join in?” or “Hey, do you want to play together today?”
If they’re dealing with a bossy friend, teach them how to say:
“I like playing with you, but I also want to make my own choices.”
3. Model Positive Friendships at Home
Children learn the most about relationships by watching their parents. If they see you handling disagreements respectfully and maintaining friendships, they’ll follow suit.
Example: If you have a disagreement with a friend or partner, show your child how to resolve it with kindness. Say things like:
“I was upset earlier, but I talked to my friend, and we worked it out.
This teaches them that disagreements don’t mean the end of a friendship—they can be worked through.
4. Encourage a ‘Wide Net’ of Friends
Relying on just one friend can be risky—if there’s a fallout, children can feel completely alone. Encourage them to be open to different friendships.
Example: If your child always plays with the same person, suggest inviting another classmate to join an activity. Say:
“I love that you and Emily are close! Why don’t we invite Mia over too?”
Encouraging group friendships helps children avoid being overly dependent on one person.
5. Teach Resilience When Friendships Change
Friendships naturally shift over time, and not every friendship lasts forever. Teaching your child to accept change helps them build emotional strength.
Example: If your child is upset that a friend has started playing with someone else, acknowledge their feelings but also provide perspective:
“It’s hard when friendships change, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find new great friends.”
Encourage activities where they can meet new friends, like clubs or sports, so they learn that one friendship ending isn’t the end of the world.
Forming friends, losing them and realigning yourself to new groups is a normal part of the childhood development in social and emotional growth. There will be disappointments and successes. There will be sharp reminders about how relationships can change and effect very quickly your well being. As a parent be a good listener and be inclusive with all their friends not showing judgement or bias. Your child needs to walk the road that will ultimately lead them to forming happy stable relationships that are inclusive and that build in them strong emotional intelligence.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.”
Finishing the school year well
As the school year draws to a close, it’s the perfect opportunity for parents to reflect on how to wrap up the year meaningfully and start planning for the holidays and the exciting possibilities beyond. Gail Smith shares her ideas on how to approach this thoughtfully and effectively.
As we approach the end of the school year there are excited thoughts of closure and new beginnings coming into a child’s mind. It is a great time as parents to reflect on how closure should look like for the school year and how planning for holidays and beyond should commence.
Consider the following:
Celebrate Achievements, Big and Small
Acknowledge your child's efforts and progress, not just academic results. In a world where comparison is rampant, affirming their unique journey builds confidence and resilience. It is all about the process.
Reflect on Social and Emotional Growth
Ask yourself: How has my child grown in managing friendships, emotions, or challenges this year? These skills are as important as academics in preparing them for the future.
Address Gaps or Concerns Early
If your child struggled academically, socially, or emotionally, now is the time to create a plan for improvement over the summer. Talk to teachers or explore summer programs to help bridge gaps. Do it gently with still plenty of recreation built in.
Plan Purposeful Summer Activities
Balance relaxation with opportunities for learning and growth. Enrol them in camps, encourage hobbies, or plan family activities that nurture curiosity, creativity, and physical health.
Stay Connected with the School Community
End the year by expressing gratitude to teachers and staff. Building positive relationships now sets the tone for smoother communication and collaboration in the next school year.
Each school year will come with highs and lows. Friendships may change and feelings of anxiety may creep in at the thought of changing classes and teachers. Holidays should be a time to refresh, break routine and enjoy personal space. It is a wonderful time for family to renew relationships and simply enjoy each other where routine and responsibilities are no more for a short time.
“Closing the school year happily and with reflection invites a fresh start in the new year.”
School is a magical place and children learn through many and varied mystical ways
Discover the magic of school beyond academics and schedules. It's a realm of enchantment, surprising lessons, and delightful moments. Explore with Gail Smith how to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and embrace the wonder of everyday learning.
As parents, we often view school through a pragmatic lens, focusing on academics, discipline, and schedules. But what if we told you that school is a place filled with enchantment, surprising lessons, and unexpected delights? Welcome to a realm where the extraordinary happens every day.
The Classroom as a Magical Workshop
Enter your child's classroom, where they don't just learn maths and science but the art of creativity. Teachers are the magicians who inspire imagination, and each notebook is a canvas for dreams. Learn the secret of fostering a love for learning and the unexpected joys of discovery. So much can happen in a classroom every day.
The Extracurricular Enchantment
Beyond the classroom, the real treasures await. From drama club to soccer practice, extracurricular activities are the magical keys to hidden talents and friendships. Discover how these hobbies unlock your child's unique potential. They are the great joy after formal school hours and they are such an enriching and enlivening experience.
Library Lore: Where Words Become Spells
Wander into the school library, a sanctuary where books are the enchanted portals to different worlds. Here, children discover the joy of reading and the power of storytelling. Learn how to nurture a lifelong love of literature and the spellbinding connections it weaves. Just a simple roaming around the books is a mindful experience.
The Playground: Where Rules Bend and Friendships Flourish
The schoolyard is not just for games; it's a realm where children master the art of negotiation, cooperation, and resilience. Explore the playground's hidden curriculum and the magic of recess that fosters life skills. Teachers on duty will tell you that life really happens on the playground.
Parent-Teacher Conferences - The Sorcery of Communication
Delve into parent-teacher conferences, where insights into your child's world are revealed. These meetings are like wizardly crystal balls, helping you understand your child's needs and strengths, and how to be an effective partner in their education journey. Listen closely to what is said and I don’t mean their test scores. The teachers really know how your child ticks. Here you can learn about what drives your child’s interests and passions.
School is a treasure chest of enchantment, where the everyday holds more wonder than you might have imagined. To keep the magic alive, remember to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and be open to the unexpected lessons that can't be found in textbooks. Listen and learn to what enlivens your child on a daily basis.
‘When you see your child’s school as a magical, mysterious house of learning, it becomes one.’
- Gail J Smith
Building stronger relationships with your child
Explore these simple suggestions with Gail Smith to enhance the task of building better relationships with your child. The Primary Years.
There is no right way to build stronger relationships with your child. There are many ideas and suggestions. Here are a few suggestions that may help.
Quality Time Tokens: Create "Quality Time Tokens" – special cards or tokens that kids can use to request dedicated one-on-one time with a parent for activities they enjoy. This can be fun in the making.
Story Sharing Sessions: Initiate regular "Story Sharing Sessions" where both parent and child take turns sharing anecdotes, dreams, or stories from their day. It promotes communication and strengthens bonds. Great to do this at dinner time or bedtime
Involvement in Their World: Engage in "Their World" by showing interest in their hobbies, favourite shows, or games. It demonstrates care and understanding of their interests. Accept all their ideas and take care not to place judgements on their suggestions.
Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a "Gratitude Jar Ritual" by jotting down things you're grateful for about each other. Read these notes together periodically to foster appreciation and connection.
Decision-Making Together: Involve children in "Family Decision-Making" by allowing them to contribute ideas or have a say in certain family choices. It promotes a sense of responsibility and value in their opinions.
The above thoughts are simple suggestions to keep up the task of building better relationships with your child. Every family is different. You may already have some fun and endearing ways of building a unique relationship with your child.
‘Your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job: It’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.’
James Lehman
Christmas Home Decorations - Rituals And Happy Memories
The home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas can have long-term value and memory-making moments for your children.
There is magic in Christmas for all children. Fantasy, dreams and excitement mount. The build up brings incredible joy and imaginations run rife. When the family decorates the tree and house in bright lights and colours, the home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas has so much long term value for your child.
Creativity and expression at Christmas time
Engaging in Christmas decorations encourages creativity and self-expression among children. They get to choose colours, designs, and arrangements, fostering their imaginative skills and allowing them to express themselves freely through decoration choices. This creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to channel emotions and thoughts positively. They will not forget the ritual of setting up the Christmas tree
Bonding and Togetherness
Decorating as a family cultivates a sense of togetherness and strengthens family bonds. Working together towards a shared goal, discussing decoration ideas, and collaborating on various aspects of decoration builds a sense of unity, fostering positive relationships. Memories are created from doing such fun family activities. The more involved they are the better.
Joy and Positive Emotions
The process of decorating for Christmas brings joy and excitement. The anticipation of the holiday season, the colourful lights, and cheerful decorations contribute to a positive atmosphere that can uplift spirits, reduce stress, and evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. It's all a positive time to feel good.
A Sense of Tradition and Belonging
Engaging in Christmas decorating traditions instils a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than oneself. Participating in these rituals and customs, passed down through generations, gives children a sense of identity, continuity, and stability, contributing to their emotional well-being. Never underestimate the importance of routine.
Mindfulness and appreciation
Decorating with the spirit of Christmas encourages mindfulness and appreciation for the present moment. Children learn to appreciate the beauty in small things, focusing on the joy of the activity and the happiness it brings rather than the material aspects.
Christmas can mean many things to different people. Above all it is about coming together and celebrating in some form. It is recognised as a reflective time for families and it can have an amazing calming and mentally stabilising effect for children. It is way of putting closure on the year and bringing together in a warm, comforting way all the feelings, emotions, experiences, joys and maybe sorrows that have been experienced and shared over the year.
Merry Christmas to all families in all shapes and forms.
Why formal education is so important
From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. Here are 8 reasons why formal education is essential for children.
From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. It is also true to say that some people do not have fond memories of school and sadly there are sound reasons why that was the case. However, I am very much all for the advantages of formal learning sitting of course alongside the journey of learning that you the parents provide. When we have our doubts about formal school think about the following thoughts that remind us of what can be gained through formal schooling..
Foundation of Knowledge:
School provides the basic knowledge and skills needed to understand the world, like reading, writing, and basic maths. The formality of the classes comes with teacher’s training in techniques of teaching literacy. Parents work closely in conjunction with the school and enjoy those early years of their child opening their minds to reading.
Social Skills and Relationships:
It's where children learn to interact with others, make friends, and build essential social skills. The school yard is a miniature society where life happens and social engagements occurs.
Opportunities for Future Careers:
Education at school opens doors for various jobs and careers by providing a foundation of knowledge and qualifications. School provides networks where a student can access so much knowledge of what happens beyond school.
Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving:
School teaches how to think critically, solve problems, and make decisions, skills needed in everyday life. Teachers are well resourced to provide the best environment for this critical aspect of learning.
Personal Development:
It helps in developing discipline, time management, and responsibility, preparing kids for life as adults. The culture of the classroom and the social interpersonal experiences that happen each day are constantly feeding the maturation of personal development.
Understanding the World:
School exposes students to various subjects, cultures, and ideas, broadening their understanding of the world. There are many constant discussion etc on what the world is about through a school environment.
Health and Well-being:
It often includes education about health, nutrition, and exercise, promoting a healthier lifestyle. Also school offers children the opportunity to join teams etc.
Lifelong Learning:
It instils the value of continuous learning, encouraging a habit of learning throughout life. A classroom is a powerhouse of learning. Teachers use their talents to teach children all sorts of things and especially engage them in being independent learners.
‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’
Malcolm X
Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker
I know it’s hard if there are risks, but, teach your child to have a go and to be a risk-taker. Read on for some advantages of this.
Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.
Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.
Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.Fosters Creativity and Innovation
Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.Promotes Independence and Resilience
Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.
As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.
‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’
Lisamessenger
A happy child makes us all feel the joy of youth.
Read on for 5 basic needs to help your child feel content.
Here are five needs that a child once fulfilled will be content
Love and Support
A happy child needs love, care, and unwavering support from family and caregivers.Opportunities for Play and Exploration
Children thrive when they have ample opportunities for play and exploration in a safe and stimulating environment.Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
Encouraging words, praise, and positive reinforcement contribute to a child's happiness and confidence.Healthy Relationships and Connection
Building healthy relationships and fostering strong connections with family and friends are crucial for a child's happiness.Sense of Security and Stability
A stable and secure environment provides the foundation for a child's happiness and well-being.
‘Never underestimate that your attention, respect, confidence and security given to your child are building a very happy person.’
Gail J Smith
Be excited for your child as they attend school each day
A school’s environment will have much to offer your child. This blog discusses the positive benefits you can expect from the school.
Imagine educating your child on your own! There is so much excitement and anticipation when your child starts school as they will be exposed to myriads of opportunities and challenges. You will journey through the school experience and together with your child enjoy the long and winding process together. You are in partnership with the school which sees you as a critical educator and contributor to your child’s education.
A school’s environment will have much to offer your child. Below are some very realistic outcomes that you can expect from the school.
Social Development: School is a place where children interact with peers and learn valuable social skills like sharing, cooperation, and making friends. Parents can be happy about their child's chance to develop important social relationships. Their ability to make friends, keep them and practice the art of good communication comes from the school setting. Such an environment enlivens your child’s emotional and social growth. They learn a lot about self-esteem by studying their peers.
Independence and Responsibility: School teaches children to become more independent and responsible for their actions. Parents can look forward to seeing their child grow in maturity and self-sufficiency as they take on new responsibilities. A school will support the work you do in teaching your child all about being responsible. Teachers work hard to encourage independence in learning and set expectations and goals for your child.
Broadening Horizons: School exposes children to a wide range of subjects, ideas, and experiences that they may not encounter at home. Parents can be excited about the opportunity for their child to explore different interests and broaden their horizons. You cannot do everything. A school presents topics that can be discussed openly and challenges your child to think differently. The setting of a school sets the scene for healthy, vibrant conversation. It encourages your child to think differently.
Emotional and Cognitive Development: School not only focuses on academic learning but also on emotional and cognitive development. Parents can be happy knowing that their child will receive guidance and support in developing important life skills and emotional intelligence. As your child grows, the school will set social and emotional expectations to match their age and learning. It will challenge your child in different ways to enrich their emotional intelligence.
Future Opportunities: A good education lays the foundation for future opportunities and success. Parents can feel excited about the doors that may open for their child as they progress through their educational journey. Who knows what your child will do and become after they leave school? The excitement is to watch how school broadens their thinking and expectations. You are not alone in preparing them for life.
In summary, school offers children a host of benefits, from educational and social growth to independence and future opportunities, which can make parents excited and happy about their child's educational journey. So be happy when you send them off to school. Understand that school will be a setting to parallel all the good work that you do through parenting.
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.’’Einstein.
Simple suggestions to help build empathy and kindness in your child
Read the blog to find out how to build empathy and compassion in your child.
The difference you can make in how you teach and model empathy and kindness is amazing. See it as a way of life that is common practice in your family.
Be a good example: Show kindness and caring by helping others, like sharing toys with a sibling or comforting a friend who is sad.
Understand how others feel: Imagine how someone else might feel in a situation. For example, think about how a friend might feel if they didn't get invited to a party. Are you inclusive when you send out invitations? Share your feelings: Talk about your own emotions and encourage your child to express their feelings too. Let them know it's okay to feel happy, sad, or angry.
Listen and pay attention: When your child talks, give them your full attention. Show that you care about what they say by looking at them and responding kindly.
Do kind things for others: Encourage your child to do nice things, like saying "thank you" to their teacher or helping a classmate with a task.
Learn about different cultures: Read books or watch shows that teach about different ways of life. Talk about the traditions and customs of other cultures.
Solve problems without fighting: Help your child find solutions when they have a disagreement. Encourage them to listen to others, find common ground, and work things out peacefully. Teach them the powers of negotiation.
Talk about real-life examples: Have conversations about news stories or events that involve kindness and helping others. Discuss how they can make a positive difference too.
Stay positive: Encourage your child to see the good in people and situations. Talk about happy news or share stories of people being kind to each other.
Say "thank you" and be grateful: Teach your child to appreciate what they have and show gratitude. Encourage them to say "thank you" and be thankful for acts of kindness.
Help others in need: Encourage your child to lend a helping hand to those who need it. They can assist an elderly neighbour with carrying groceries, offer to walk a friend's dog when they're busy, or help a classmate with their schoolwork. Teach them how to notice where there is a need.
Apologise and forgive: Teach your child the importance of apologising when they have hurt someone's feelings. For example, if they accidentally break a friend's toy, guide them to say sorry and find a way to make amends. Also, encourage them to forgive others when they receive apologies, promoting empathy and understanding. Talk about what reconciliation is all about.
Stand up against bullying: Teach your child to be kind and compassionate by speaking up against bullying. Encourage them to support classmates who are being treated unkindly, be a friend to someone who is feeling left out, or report bullying incidents to a trusted adult.
These ideas give some suggestions as to how to build empathy and compassion in your child. Be spontaneous and look for occasions where you can build their awareness and sensitivity to others and the world around them.
‘A smile can brighten someone’s day and enlighten their spirits.
- Gail J Smith
Navigating the Emotional Roller coaster: Supporting Parents with Children at School
For some children, school can be challenging on many different levels. This blog aims to provide emotional support and practical strategies for parents to navigate the ups and downs of their children's school lives.
The journey of parenting can be a roller coaster of emotions, especially when it comes to supporting your children's experiences at school. As parents, we all want the best for our kids and wish to see them thrive in their academic and social lives. However, it is not uncommon to encounter various challenges that may leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or even helpless.
This blog aims to provide emotional support and practical strategies for parents to navigate the ups and downs of their children's school lives. For some children and parents school can be a very challenging environment on many levels.
Understanding the Emotional Landscape of School Life:
Embrace the joy of seeing your child explore and learn new things at school, even though it may come with challenges like stress and anxiety.
Celebrate your child's bravery as they face peer pressure and academic demands, knowing that they will grow stronger through these experiences.
Remember, it's okay to feel a mix of emotions as a parent – from worry to pride – it shows how much you care about your child's well-being and success.
Effective Communication with Your Child:
Share laughter and light-hearted moments with your child when talking about their school life. A good sense of humour can bridge any communication gaps.
Rejoice in being a trusted confidante for your child, where they can freely share their frustrations and feelings about school.
Cherish those spontaneous moments when your child needs you, knowing that your attentive presence helps them navigate through their challenges.
Building Resilience in Your Child:
Celebrate your child's growth mindset and the positive attitude they develop towards learning and setbacks. Their resilience will lead them to greater achievements.
Embrace the joy of teaching your child coping skills like yoga, mindfulness, or deep breathing, knowing you're giving them valuable tools for life.
Witness the strength and resilience your child exhibits when facing stress and anxiety, and be proud of their ability to overcome obstacles.
Dealing with Academic Pressures:
Take pride in your child's efforts and progress, letting them know that their hard work is appreciated regardless of the outcome.
Find joy in striking a balance between supporting your child's academics and allowing them to grow independently, fostering their self-confidence.
Celebrate each step of improvement and acknowledge your child's accomplishments, boosting their self-esteem along the way.
Handling Social and Peer-Related Issues:
Find joy in being your child's pillar of support during friendship struggles, knowing you play a crucial role in their social development.
Celebrate the moments when your child shows empathy and inclusiveness, as they cultivate healthy social skills and create meaningful friendships.
Rejoice in the close connections you build with other parents and the valuable support network that helps normalize your concerns.
Coping with Transitions:
Treasure the joy of witnessing your child navigate significant transitions, like starting school or changing schools, and seeing them grow in adaptability.
Celebrate the milestones and graduations in your child's life, knowing that you've been there for them during every step of the journey.
Self-Care for Parents:
Embrace the joy of prioritising self-care, as it not only benefits you but also positively influences your child's emotional well-being.
Take pride in practicing self-care strategies that make you feel good and rejuvenated, allowing you to be the best version of yourself for your child.
Celebrate the moments when you find peace and balance in your life, it sets a positive example for your child's self-care habits.
Connecting with Other Parents and Support Networks:
Rejoice in the joy of finding a supportive network of fellow parents, where you can share experiences and find comfort in knowing you're not alone.
Celebrate the benefits of seeking professional support when needed, it shows your dedication to being the best parent you can be.
Parenting is a beautiful journey filled with ups and downs, and by embracing the joy of supporting your child emotionally through their school years, you create a nurturing environment for them to flourish and grow into confident, resilient individuals.
‘As your child grows and changes, you too grow and change as a parent. Embrace it.’
-Gail J Smith
Nine Proactive Strategies for Fostering Mental Health in Children
Here are nine ways to foster and sustain your child’s mental health and well-being.
Promoting mental health in children is of utmost importance, particularly in our current world.
Here are several insightful strategies that can be employed to nurture and sustain mental well-being in our young ones:
Demonstrate Positive Emotions: Being a consistent source of happiness and positivity around your child is critical. Let your joy radiate visibly, providing them with a secure feeling that everything is alright. Your smile can serve as a comforting reassurance.
Encourage Physical Activity: Exercise is known to boost mood and overall well-being. Engage in regular physical activities with your child and make it a family routine. This not only benefits their physical health but also their mental state.
Cultivate a Love for Music: Music has a profound impact on our emotions and can uplift the spirit. Incorporate a variety of music into your family life, utilising it as a background score to your everyday activities. This creates an ambience of positivity and serves as an effective stress reliever.
Foster Positive Associations: Direct your child's attention to the good things happening around them. Discuss amusing anecdotes, talk about jovial and optimistic individuals you know, and celebrate the positive aspects of life.
Promote Generosity: Demonstrate to your child the power of giving. Instilling a sense of generosity can enhance their mental well-being and give them a broader perspective on life. You can exemplify this through simple actions like donating toys they've outgrown.
Encourage Proper Rest: Adequate sleep is crucial for a child's mental and physical health. It helps their brain process the day's activities and sets them up for optimal performance the next day.
Teach Healthy Recreation: Equip them with various recreational activities like sports, reading, or simply relaxing. These pursuits can help them carve out mental space for themselves when needed. Your role modelling in this area is vital.
Cultivate a Sense of Humour: Encourage them to appreciate the lighter side of life. Too often we focus on the negatives or the potential risks, but teaching them to find humour can provide them with a more balanced view of life.
Nurture Social Relationships: Facilitate the presence of your child's friends in their lives. Friendships play a significant role in their social development, and your active involvement in fostering these relationships can be highly beneficial.
Above all, it's crucial to create an environment where positivity thrives, life is cherished, and the world is perceived as a beautiful place to live. By being such a parent, you can positively shape your child's outlook and foster their mental health.
‘Life is always better with a smile on your face’
- Gail J Smith
Friendships are important in your child’s life
Friendships are essential for a child’s development and social skills. Here are some things to consider when your children are creating friendships.
I am certain that a social anthropologists would tell us that somewhere back in the cave man era, man grew the desire, perhaps need, to develop friendship. Coming out of their cave and socialising would have been yet another important step in mankind’s evolution.
We all need friendship and we need to have the ability to connect with others. We do not need, nor were we ever designed to live in isolation. It must now be part of our DNA. Children at school age start to develop friendships where they gradually develop a sense of belonging. This process begins at birth. It is a slow, steady process and for each child, the journey will be different.
There is so much to say about the value and necessity of the child developing friendship. Within each relationship there is so much about themselves they learn and this will come with some pain and glory. A child learns much about developing resilience, becoming intuitive and above all, goes through the rigour of developing emotional intelligence all through the journey of forming and sustaining friends.
As parents, we have a very special role to support them in their evolving understanding and development of friendships.
Here a few thoughts to give us direction in this critical guiding role:
Remember, your child’s friends are not your friends. Sometimes we can show our disapproval of who they bring home or who they befriend. In subtle ways we can say and do things that worry your child about the friends they enjoy. This can make them doubt their own judgement.
Your child will meet friends and move on after time with some of those friendships. Accept that they need to be the one who judges the worth of their friends. This can sometimes come with pain but that is how they build resilience and grow wiser in making suitable choices.
Support their friendships by getting to know their friends. Be interested in them and organise play dates to support the friendships.
When you see friendship troubles brewing, simply remind them about social cues and listen to their concerns. Once again, remember they are not your friends nor is it your responsibility to sort out their concerns.
As a child builds friends and they go through the rigour of the ups and downs, they will learn about empathy and altruism. They will discover many emotions through their friends and will be introduced to other ways of viewing the world. Be open and listen to what they say. Take care not to shut them down too quickly. They expect to learn from their friends. It’s natural.
Watch and learn how your child plays and socialises. This will help you fit into their world with ease. You will understand them more by watching their games, chats etc.
Model positive social behaviour. Let them know and see that developing your own friends is important for your social world.
Affirm your child when they show initiative in approaching others to develop friendships. For anxious children, this can be a very difficult step to take.
All of your children will approach friendship differently. One child may be incredibly gregarious and would like everyone in the class to be their friend. Another child is perhaps more reserved and may be happy with just one or two close friends. Accept that the needs are different for each child. Celebrate their differences in this way.
Children gain amazing opportunities from joining activity groups and through organised sport. Even if they are not great communicators themselves, sport takes care of that as they become an active team player.
Respect the fact that a loss of friendship can be quite devastating for a while. Often girls can harbour upset feelings for a long time. They don’t seem to forget their hurt easily. Generally, boys will get angry and blame the other person for the breakdown. Sometimes a quick fight sorts it out. Either way be a good listener and understand that a loss of friendship can take a while to heal. They need space to grieve and heal.
Play is a very large part of how children connect from infancy. From an early age involve your child in playgroups, friendship meetings with other parents etc. From a very early age, your child needs to be playing alongside other children, which will ultimately lead to social connections. In these settings they learn to control negative emotions and begin to recognise other people’s emotions. At first they simply play alongside each other, but after a while they need to make connections and that is when it all begins.
Your child learns to be more social, through your loving disposition, warmth and positive way of disciplining your child. Parenting in a punitive way will only delay a child’s ability to effectively socialise. Strict discipline lowers a child’s self confidence which retards their ability to socialise effectively.
Socially anxious children need parenting that is sensitive and positive. Through your gentle support and encouragement in a safe and happy environment that encourages social engagement, friendships will develop. Here they will need plenty of trust and reassurance around them.
‘Childhood friendships are timeless treasures of the heart.’
- Proud Happy Mama
Help your child to accept and enjoy their differences
Children's uniqueness is a crucial part of who they are as individuals. Read some parenting tips to consider on how to embrace and positively encourage diversity.
As our children grow through various physical, intellectual, social and emotional stages, they are seeking out their identity and at times they feel dissatisfied with what they feel about themselves. Simply put, this is all about growing up and working out who you are in life.
One important aspect in the life of a child is their ability to identify with others, establish friendships and feel happy and fulfilled in the company of their friends. To this end sometimes a child loses some of their own identity to be part of the group. I would suggest that an important role for parents is to gently remind their children that they have a unique aspect to their personality and this can be embraced and should be celebrated.
This is all about teaching your child that they are different to other people and that this difference is what makes them special. It is about encouraging your child to like their differences and embrace them rather than absorbing them into some peer group image.
I appreciate that being part of a peer group and identifying with others is an important part of growing up. As a parent, there are a few strategies that you can use to help develop in your child a strong self-perception that can still sit comfortably alongside a sense of being part of a peer group.
Consider:
When you spot occasions where they demonstrate their uniqueness talk about it and discuss how it is such a positive aspect of your child’s personality. ‘I am so impressed at the way you care for your dog. You certainly are a compassionate and caring person. A great quality to have!’
Your child’s teacher will know exactly how unique your child is and I am sure they can tell you some great stories about how they operate in class. Learn about these unique qualities and tell your child how proud you are to hear about their differences at school.
From time to time you may have occasions to write notes to your child. This could be a Birthday card, Christmas card etc. Refer to their uniqueness and the special differences that you notice in your child. It is all positive reinforcement. Nothing is wasted in adding little reminders of their differences.
Talk about when you notice how their differences have made an impact in some way to others. There is nothing more satisfying than recognising how a person’s differences can influence and help others.
Sometimes talking about differences can set you apart from others. As a child matures, the more they understand that their differences make them who they are, the more they are inclined to value their uniqueness and like who they are becoming. Just keep gently and intermittently reinforcing that their differences are a gift.
Talk about people that you know and respect, that shine by nature of their differences. I am sure your child can easily talk about their heroes and what makes them different.
Your child can talk about their friends and they can easily identify what makes them stand out as different. This is worth a conversation at home from time to time. Children love a discussion about their friends.
When you are having parent-teacher interviews, it is normal that your child attends. This is a perfect time to talk with your teacher about the wonderful differences your child has demonstrated across the year.
Don't be anxious to repeat affirming your child’s uniqueness. It will really sink in and become an accepted part of the child’s character.
Children use their observations to work out how to treat others and how others should treat them. We can support their developing observations by highlighting differences that are important in life.
When children notice differences between people, this is a time to talk about them and to highlight that differences make the world an interesting and colourful place. It is a time to dull the potential of bias and racism. It is a time to grow in the knowledge that difference makes the world go round.
‘In diversity there is beauty and there is strength.’
-Maya Angelo
How to understand how friendship works with your child
A child often learns the hard way what really defines a friend and it is our job as parents to gently ease them through this process. It is not our role to choose friends for them or to simply approve of the ones we like. Remember it is their exploratory journey to find out what best kind of friendship works for them. Read here for some different ways to help them navigate friendships.
We all like to have friendships. In fact, being social and engaging happily with friends is necessary for your personal well being and they say a happy, long life.
As your child grows they begin to understand that being alone is not for them. They need special friends in their life. You could say that forming friends is an important part of their social and emotional growth. It is slow and steady growth. It goes through all sorts of trials and errors over the years in search of true, stable and trusting friendship.
During that time a child learns often the hard way what really defines a friend and it is our job as parents to gently ease them through this process. It is not our role to choose friends for them or to simply approve of the ones we like. Remember it is their exploratory journey to find out what best kind of friendship works for them.
Consider helping them in the following ways:
Remember they are your child’s friends and not yours. Take care not to be too intrusive with your child when they engage with their friends.
Take care not to influence your child in schooling friends. They need to own the choices and yes this may come with some sadness when the friendship breaks up but it is their journey.
A child feels sad when they have lost a friend. Talk about what they have learnt form the experience. Take care never to give lectures about what you see as friendship.
Sometimes you may not like the child that your child has chosen as a friend. This can be difficult especially if you have a good reason why the friendship is unsuitable. Talk gently with your child discussing some concerns you may have using an ‘I’ statement, but be careful to let the child decide what is best for them.
Friendships can come in all shapes and sizes. They can be formed for a purpose or simply for social pleasure, giving your child varied opportunities to find friends. Joining sports teams, clubs, caravan parks etc are great ways for your child to mix with different children with different life experiences.
Be open to inviting your child’s friends home for a play. This is a great way of letting your child know that you trust their judgements and that home is a welcome place for their important visitors.
When inviting children to your child’s birthday party be inclusive by not isolating children from the class list. Have seen many sad children when they were deliberately excluded and it caused much hurt. It also is a way of being generous and sharing your child’s happy moments with many children.
Take care not to probe your child when they are feeling down about a friendship loss. Let them come to you and chat. The more we question the more sad they feel that they have let you down or been the one at fault.
Don’t forget to talk to your child’s teacher if a friendship issue has come up and caused some unsettled feelings. Teachers are very astute about their student’s relationships and can give good counsel when needed. A check-in with the teacher is often a good idea especially if your child finds forming friends difficult.
Remember that forming friends is a natural process of growth in a child and they will be in and out of relationships for some time. Don't demonstrate to your child that you are disappointed by the shifts and swings with friends. They need to experiment with relationships until they can clearly define what makes a true friend for them.
Friendships for our children can form at any time as they grow up. They will have a much better chance of forming their own deep and meaningful friends if we simply walk with them through the journey of discovery, understanding that is has some tricky paths from time to time.
‘A best friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart’
Unknown
Differences in families
‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’ -Audre Lorde
There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.
Did you notice that when your child started school there were many external influences that started to influence your child’s behaviour? Sometimes parents can become anxious when their child comes home, spouting different values from other children. This can be quite off putting for your family, especially as you have worked so hard to provide the best climate for your child in which to grow.
Well, we can always home school if we want our children to not be exposed to other thoughts, ideas and opinions. Of course, such an act will limit your child from being part of the real world. So, I believe embracing the differences in a responsible way is the best response.
Consider:
You are the most significant model for your child, especially in their early years. How you model your behaviour and life beliefs has the greatest value for them. However, a child will explore other values that they see and hear and, in some cases, admire. Be consistent with yours.
When your child talks about what other families do and you don’t, best to listen with interest and talk about how that family embraces different concepts. If your child sees that you respect other families and their differences, they are more inclined to take you seriously.
Take care not to criticise other families and their habits. That makes a child more curious to learn about the differences.
Be inclusive. Your child will bring home friends that may challenge you in some way. Be accepting of who they bring home and do not be exclusive, especially with invitations for parties etc. Let your child see how you accept everyone with all their differences, but you strongly celebrate your own.
Sometimes your child may talk about differences they notice and admire in other families. Listen with interest and ask questions. This is a great time to discuss how families have their own unique culture.
Teachers are conscious to move children in their class onto different tables across the year. This is done to give all children exposure to each other and to learn from each other in different ways. Even if your child comes home angry that he is sitting next to the unpopular kid in the class, you can use this as an opportunity for him to work harder and learn about someone who is clearly different. We learn so much more about each other from adversity. It is very easy to enjoy likeminded friends. With others less likeable, we must develop more demanding social skills.
There are many school-based occasions such as sports day, carnivals etc., when you as a family can meet a new set of parents and children. Let your child see how you seek out new people to meet and greet. Show them that being inclusive widens our thinking and demonstrates emotional maturity.
When your child talks about a new friend they met at school, or chats about how they tried to include someone new into their group, affirm them.
‘I am so proud that you included that sad child into your group. How generous you are and what a difference it will make to them.’
It is a positive way of reinforcing the value of inclusion into a family of friends.
There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.
‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’
-Audre Lorde