Helping Your Child Find Balance in their busy life

As parents, we want our children to thrive but sometimes, we accidentally give them too much. Too many clubs, too many lessons, too much screen time, or even too much pressure to “succeed.” The result? Stressed-out children who don’t know how to stop, breathe, or just be. In fact they can feel inadequate if they are not constantly in action. Classrooms are places where children learn how to balance the day between work and play.

But balance is something we can teach. Home life can be built around balance for a child.

Consider:

Spot the Imbalance

Start by observing your child’s week. Are they always rushing from one thing to the next? Is there time in their day for:

• Rest?

• Play (the unstructured, silly, no-goal kind)?

• Movement?

• Stillness?

• Time with you?

How about introducing a nothing day. Here your child can be creative, be still or enjoy not being accountable.

Teach the “Juggle” with Jars

Children are visual. Try this at home:

• Take three jars. Label them Work, Play, and Rest.

• Give your child 10 marbles (or buttons).

• Ask them to drop the marbles into the jars to show how they spent their day.

Most children will drop them all into “Work” (school, homework, chores) and “Play” (devices, sports). "Rest" is often forgotten.

Talk about it:

What could go into the "Rest" jar? Reading a quiet book? Drawing? Sitting in the garden? You’ll be surprised how much this simple activity gets them thinking and talking.

Model the Balance

Children copy what they see. If you never rest, they won’t think it’s allowed. If you always check your phone while talking to them, they learn to do the same.

Try this:

• Announce you're going for a 10-minute walk “to reset your brain.”

• Sit with a cup of tea and say, “I need a moment of quiet today.”

• Say “no” to something and explain why.

It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be real. Let them see how just being you is a comfortable space to live in.

Make “Bored” a Good Word

When your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t rush to fix it. Boredom is the starting block for being creative and problem-solving. Let them simply be bored for a while.

Example:

Jack (9) whined for half an hour that there was “nothing to do” one Sunday. His parents didn’t react. Ten minutes later, he’d turned the sofa into a pirate ship with a tea towel on his head.

Boredom worked. A child needs that kind of time to slow down their overthinking and just let it happen.

Balance Looks Different for Every Child

Some kids need quiet to recharge; others need movement. Some love a packed schedule; others melt under pressure. Every child is different and if you have more than one child I am sure you have noticed that already!

Ask regularly:

• “Are you enjoying what you’re doing?”

• “Is there something you’d like to do less of?”

• “Do you feel tired or happy at the end of the day?”

Make sure they are not trying to be overactive to simply prove how capable they are. You love them for just being them. This may mean that the pace is varied for different children in the family.

Balance is a Gift

Balance isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about giving our children the tools to check in with themselves, make choices, and build a life that works for them. It’s not just a childhood skill, it’s a life skill. When a child likes the balance in their life they can really savour different aspects of their world. For example, rest and recreation is as valuable as high level activity.

Simple ways to help your child with their anxiety issues

If you’ve ever felt like your child worries more than they should, or gets overwhelmed by small setbacks, you’re not alone. Today’s children are growing up in a world full of pressure: school demands, social media, the news, even our own stress. It's no wonder anxiety is showing up more in younger children.

However we can teach them how to be resilient,

What Does Anxiety Look Like in Young Children?

Children often don’t say “I’m anxious”, instead, it shows up in their behaviour:

• They might refuse to go to school.

• They complain of tummy aches with no medical cause.

• They get tearful or angry when a routine changes.

• They say things like, “I can’t do it” or “Everyone’s better than me.”

• They become silent

Sound familiar? These are all ways that anxiety can appear in children, especially in the early years and primary school.

So, What Can Parents Do Right Now?

1. Name the Feeling

Young children often feel better just from knowing what they’re feeling has a name.

Instead of saying: “Don’t worry — it’s nothing.”

Try: “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit nervous. That’s okay — we all feel like that sometimes.”

This helps them recognize and label emotions, which is the first step in managing them.

2. Model 'Brave Behaviour'

Children learn most from what they see. If they watch you facing challenges (even small ones) with a steady attitude, they start to believe they can do the same.

For example:

“I’ve got a big presentation at work today and I feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and I’m going to try my best.”

This shows that being nervous is normal, and that bravery means doing things even when we feel a bit scared. Show them it’s all about taking control of those nervous feelings.

3. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome

Instead of focusing on whether something was done perfectly, celebrate the effort.

For example:

“I saw you kept trying with that tricky puzzle. That was brilliant persistence!”

This builds a growth mindset, helping children see setbacks as part of learning, not signs of failure.

4. Small actions count

Encourage small acts of courage every day. Start with achievable steps, like putting their hand up in class, or trying a new food and celebrate them. Multiple small achievements that are praised make a big difference!

Make a “Brave Jar” at home: every time your child does something that feels brave, they get to put a marble or token in the jar. Watch it grow!

5. Create Calm Routines

Predictable routines help anxious children feel safe. Try keeping mornings calm and consistent, breakfast, brushing teeth, packing bags in the same order. Same organized routine for nigh time.

6. Watch Your Own Anxiety

Children are emotional sponges. If you’re often saying, “I’m so stressed,” or showing panic in tough situations, they will absorb that.

Take moments to breathe, pause, and model calm responses even when you’re faking it a bit. You’re teaching emotional regulation without saying a word. Try to avoid words about yourself like stress, anxious, frightened ,weak, vulnerable.

When Should You Seek Help?

If your child’s anxiety is stopping them from taking part in everyday life, refusing school regularly, withdrawing from friends, or having frequent meltdowns, it might be time to talk to the teacher, your GP, school councillor or a child therapist.

Final Thought: Bravery Grows Slowly — But It Grows

Raising a resilient child doesn’t mean they’ll never struggle. It means they’ll know how to bounce back, try again, and keep going. That’s the greatest gift we can give them. It’s called resilience.

You don’t need to have all the answers. Let them see that we are not all perfect. Just walk alongside them, name the feelings, and keep reminding them: “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”

“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.”

— Vince Lombardi

Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help

School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.

Academic Learning Challenges

Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.

How You Can Help:

• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”

• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.

• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.

• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.

Friendships and Social Dynamics

Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.

How You Can Help:

• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.

• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.

• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.

Managing Expectations and Pressure

Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.

How You Can Help:

• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.

• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.

• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.

• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.

Handling Tiredness and Stress

A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.

How You Can Help:

• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.

• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.

• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.

• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.

• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.

Building Confidence and Independence

As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.

How You Can Help:

• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.

• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.

• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.

• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.

Final Thoughts

Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.

How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It

School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.

Consider:

Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too

Kids can't manage what they can't name.

Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:

• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”

• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”

Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”

Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.

Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School

Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.

Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:

• 20 minutes of quiet play

• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa

• Listening to music together

Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.

Focus on Effort, Not Just Results

When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:

• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”

• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”

Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.

Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed

Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.

Ask casually:

• “Who did you hang out with today?”

• “What was the best part of playtime?”

If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.

Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.

Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up

If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.

Example email you could send:

"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."

Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.

“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”

— Gail J Smith

How to Help Your Child Thrive at School Without the Stress!

School life can be a roller coaster—exciting one day, exhausting the next! As a parent, you’re the safety harness that keeps your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you best support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s your quick-start guide:

Be Their Cheerleader, Not Their Coach

Your child needs to know you’re on their team. Celebrate effort over results, and remind them that mistakes are part of learning. A simple “I love how hard you tried!” can work wonders.

Create a ‘Safe Space’ at Home

Home should be a refuge, not an extension of the classroom. Keep homework sessions stress-free, encourage breaks, and make time for laughter. A relaxed child learns better!

Listen More Than You Talk

Ask open-ended questions: “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you think today?” Let them open up on their terms. Sometimes, they just need to vent! Sometimes they just want to also be silent

Teach Resilience, Not Perfection

Life at school won’t always be smooth sailing. Help them handle setbacks with confidence. Instead of fixing problems for them, guide them to find their own solutions. Develop independent thinking in your child.

Prioritise Sleep, Food & Fun

Tired, hungry kids struggle. A good routine, healthy meals, and plenty of play keep their energy and mood in check. A happy child learns better than a stressed one.

Stay Connected (Without Hovering!)

Be involved—know their friends, show up at school events, chat with teachers. But avoid micromanaging! Your child needs space to grow independently.

Lead by Example

If you stay positive about school, they’ll pick up on that. Show enthusiasm for learning, handle challenges calmly, and they’ll mirror your mindset.

Your support doesn’t have to be complicated. Just being present, listening, and creating a positive home environment can make all the difference. So, go on, cheer them on, lift them up, and enjoy the journey together!

“Learning for your child will happen anywhere and at anytime if they are happy and secure.”

— Gail Smith

5 TIPS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN YOUR CHILD WHEN STARTING SCHOOL

Starting a new school year can be a big transition for many children, especially if they're nervous. Here are some tips for parents to help their child feel more confident and less anxious:

1. Familiarise Them with the School

• Why it works: New places can feel scary. Making the school feel familiar reduces the unknowns.

• Example: Walk around the school grounds together. Show them where the classrooms and toilets are. If the teacher is available, introduce them to your child.

• Story: “Last year, Mia visited her new school with her dad a week before it started. On the first day, she already knew how to find her classroom, so she felt less nervous walking in.”

2. Practise the School Routine

• Why it works: A predictable routine helps children feel prepared and in control.

• Example: One week before school starts, wake up at the time they’ll need to for school, eat breakfast, and pack a pretend lunch together. Practice leaving the house on time.

• Story: “Jason and his mum did a ‘practice day’ where they packed his backpack and walked to the bus stop. On the first day, Jason felt ready because he’d already done it once.”

3. Role-Play Scenarios

• Why it works: Practising interactions can build confidence.

• Example: Pretend to be a new classmate, and practise introducing themselves: “Hi, I’m Alex. What’s your name?” Also, practise asking the teacher questions like, “Can you help me with this?”

• Story: “Sophia was nervous about making friends, so her dad played the role of a shy classmate. After practising, Sophia felt ready to say hello to new kids at recess.”

4. Plan a Special "Back-to-School Tradition"

• Why it works: Creating a positive tradition makes the start of school exciting.

• Example: Let them pick out their first-day outfit, decorate their notebook with stickers, or have a “back-to-school breakfast” with their favourite food.

• Story: “Every year, Ella’s family bakes pancakes in the shape of letters spelling her name. It makes the first day of school something she looks forward to instead of dreading.”

5. Normalize Their Feelings

• Why it works: Knowing it’s okay to feel nervous helps kids manage their emotions.

• Example: Share a story about a time you felt nervous but things turned out okay, like starting a new job. Then talk about how they can overcome similar fears.

• Story: “When Liam told his mum he was scared about meeting new classmates, she said, ‘I felt the same way on my first day at work, but I ended up making friends. Let’s think of ways you can make friends, too.’

These examples make the advice practical and relatable for parents. Think about your child and what best works for them. Keeping anxieties to a minimum gives your child the best start for the year.

“Loving school is all about feeling safe and comfortable”

— Gail J Smith

Teach your child to like themselves

One of the keys to success is to accept and like who you are. A child needs to believe that they deserve to be treated well and that they deserve good things in their life. They need to nurture the belief that they are as good as anyone else. It takes time for a child to mature into really recognizing their own value so start early as a a parent in teaching them their worth.

Here are five reasons why parents need to teach their children to like and accept themselves, along with examples of how they can do it:

1. Builds Confidence

When children learn to accept themselves, they become more confident in their abilities and decisions. For example, if a child feels unsure about their looks or talents, parents can remind them of their strengths and help them embrace their uniqueness. Complimenting their efforts, not just results, can help reinforce this.

2. Develops Emotional Resilience

Self-acceptance helps children cope better with challenges and failures. Parents can encourage this by framing mistakes as learning opportunities. For instance, if a child doesn’t win a competition, remind them it’s okay to fail sometimes and that they still have value regardless of the outcome.

3. Promotes Healthy Relationships

Children who accept themselves are more likely to build strong, positive relationships because they don’t rely on others for validation. Parents can encourage healthy relationships by teaching their children not to compare themselves to others and to value friends who respect them for who they are.

4. Reduces Anxiety and Stress

When children are comfortable with who they are, they feel less pressure to meet unrealistic expectations. Parents can help by reassuring their children that they don’t have to be perfect. For example, if a child is stressed about grades, parents can focus on the effort and improvement rather than demanding perfection.

5. Fosters Independence and Decision-Making

Self-accepting children trust themselves and their instincts, leading to better decision-making. Parents can nurture this by allowing children to make age-appropriate choices, like choosing their clothes or hobbies, while guiding them gently without taking control. This shows them that their opinions matter. By teaching self-acceptance, parents provide their children with the emotional tools they need to lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

As the parent show your child how your life reflects treating yourself with dignity and nurture. Your lifestyle and self-management will be watched carefully by your child.

“It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will makes them successful human beings.”

— It's a lovely life.com

Let’s look at conversations to have with your child

Here are five great conversation topics that parents can frequently discuss with their children to support mental health, foster a positive disposition, and reassure them of being loved. Frequent positive reminders are healthy ways to give a positive outlook to a growing child and to build emotional intelligence.

Emotions and Feelings

• Topic: "How are you feeling today? It's okay to have all kinds of emotions."

• Purpose: Encourage emotional expression and validation of feelings. This helps children understand that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that their feelings are important.

• Reassuring Message: "No matter how you feel, I'm always here to listen and support you."

Self-Worth and Inner Strength

• Topic: "What do you think makes you special or unique?"

• Purpose: This encourages self-reflection and builds self-esteem by helping the child recognize their strengths, talents, and individuality.

• Reassuring Message: "You are amazing just the way you are, and I love you for who you are."

Challenges and Problem-Solving

• Topic: "What was something challenging today, and how did you handle it?"

• Purpose: Encouraging conversations about handling challenges reinforces resilience and problem-solving skills, helping children approach difficulties with a positive mindset.

• Reassuring Message: "No matter what happens, you’re strong, and I believe in your ability to get through tough times."

Gratitude and Positivity

• Topic: "What are three things you’re thankful for today?"

• Purpose: Fostering gratitude can shift the focus toward the positive aspects of life, promoting optimism and mental well-being.

• Reassuring Message: "Even when things are hard, there’s always something good, and I’m grateful to have you in my life."

Love and Belonging

• Topic: "What’s something fun we could do together soon?"

• Purpose: Strengthen the parent-child bond by focusing on shared experiences, making the child feel valued and connected.

• Reassuring Message: "You are always loved, no matter what, and spending time with you makes me happy."

Frequent conversations on these topics not only build a child's mental resilience but also provide the emotional security that they are loved and supported unconditionally. Every child needs reassurance and will from time to time need that extra reassurance that their world is fine.

“A parent’s positive reassurance is a life line to a child.”

— Gail J Smith

Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.

Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.

• Prioritize and Delegate

Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.

• Embrace “Good Enough”

Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.

• Meal Planning and Prep

Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.

• Use Technology to Stay Organized

Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.

• Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.

• Practice Mindful Breaks

Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.

Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.

“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”

— Gail Smith

Six reasons why giving your child quality time works

The time you give to your child is valuable and has a lasting effect on their feelings of being loved and feeling secure.

Here are six surprising outcomes when you give of your time to your child:

Your effort:

Promotes Creativity: Engaging in imaginative play with parents stimulates children's creative thinking and problem-solving skills.

Reduces Stress: Shared activities and positive interactions can lower stress levels in children, leading to better overall mental health.

Teaches Conflict Resolution: Quality time allows parents to model healthy ways to handle

disagreements, helping children develop strong conflict resolution skills.

Enhances Cultural Awareness: Parents can introduce children to diverse cultures and traditions, broadening their understanding of the world.

Improves Physical Health: Active play and shared physical activities encourage healthy habits and improve physical fitness.

Fosters Independence: By spending time together, parents can teach essential life skills, empowering children to become more self-reliant and confident in their abilities.

Giving quality time to your child is all about sharing more of your life with them. There will come a time when they disappear out of sight and we struggle to bring them into our presence. This is of course the teenage years. Therefore value those moments you share together. It is rewarded a hundred fold.

“Shared time with your child builds strong mental health in all the family”

— Gail J Smith.

Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent

We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.

The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.

Consider:

• Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.

• Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.

• Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.

• Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.

When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.

“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”

— Gail J Smith

Self Care Tips for Busy Parents

A tired parent will struggle to offer their best to their child. As a parent, remember that your well-being is important in managing all the roles you are asked to fill. The happier you feel about your own well-being, the better you will parent your child. Every busy day, there should be some space for yourself.

Here are nine suggestions to build your own personal well being package.

Mini Meditation Sessions

Make five minutes each day for a quick meditation session. Use a meditation app or simply sit quietly, focusing on your breath. Even short moments of mindfulness can reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

Prioritize Sleep

Establish a consistent bedtime routine and aim for quality sleep. Even if you can't get a full eight hours, prioritise rest by winding down with a book, reducing screen time before bed, and creating a calming sleep environment.

Move Your Body

Incorporate short bursts of physical activity into your day. A 10-minute walk, a quick yoga session, or a brief dance break with your kids can boost your mood and energy levels.

Delegate Tasks

Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks. Share household responsibilities with your partner or older children, and consider outsourcing certain chores if possible, such as grocery delivery or hiring a cleaner. Ask yourself the question, “does everything need to be done today?”

Enjoy a Hobby

Set aside a few minutes each day or week for an activity you love, whether it's reading, knitting, painting, or gardening. Engaging in a hobby can be a great way to relax and recharge.

Connect with Friends

Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, even if it's just a quick phone call or a virtual coffee chat. Maintaining social connections is important for emotional well-being and can provide a much-needed support system.

Practice Gratitude:

Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on what you're grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply noting three things you're thankful for can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.

Take Micro-Breaks:

Throughout your day, take micro-breaks to stretch, breathe deeply, or simply step outside for a moment. These short pauses can help refresh your mind and reduce accumulated stress.

Develop a Sense of Humour.

When you laugh especially at yourself you feel better and begin to take things less seriously. This is great for your well being.

Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the moment and to enjoy the experience that we are living in at the time. By developing an optimistic outlook and celebrating the great work you are doing, rather than questioning what isn’t done well, will soften your feelings about yourself and enable you to savour the day.

Taking time to rest and recharge yourself makes you more attentive as a parent

-Gail J Smith

Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child

We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene.  Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:

Changes in Sleep Patterns

Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.

Behavioural Changes

Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.

Physical Symptoms

 Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.

Academic Performance

 A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.

Changes in Eating Habits

Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.

Regression to Earlier Behaviours

 Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.

 Frequent Crying

A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.

Avoidance Behaviours

 A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.

Increased Dependency

 A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.

Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness

Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.

When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.

 The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence.  -Gail J Smith

A few tips to keep the household happy

We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.

Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.

Consider:

 keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.

 Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?

 Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.

 Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.

 Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.

 At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.

 Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.

 Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.

 Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.

 Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.

 Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.

 Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.

These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.

“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”

— Gail J Smith

The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image

As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.

Consider the following suggestions:

• Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and

  behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about

  how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very

  comfortable in your skin.

• Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-

  acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather

  than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about

  yourself is so important.

• Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of

  nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and

  getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise

  self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body

  beautiful image.

• Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and

  how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical

  thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an

  important message.

• Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.

• Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about

  themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the

  joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or

  performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.

• Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels

  accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and

  provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make

  your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.

• Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,

  intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a

  strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than

  superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.

• Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative

  body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and

  influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave

  healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and

  hygiene.

• If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek

  professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image

  and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves

  especially when they enter teenage years.

Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!

“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”

— livesimplynatural

Understanding difficult behaviour

Parenting has many aspects to it. However, one of the most complex aspects is dealing with difficult behaviour. It will happen from time to time and as a parent it is all about what you tolerate and what you believe is acceptable behaviour. One of the very best things you can do is to teach your child to behave well. Your modelling and teaching is vital in this area.

Let’s consider how difficult behaviour can manifest itself:

• Children with high activity or are clearly unsettled are more likely to misbehave

• Sometimes it’s all about attention seeking.

• Perhaps getting their own way is important to them.

• Sometimes revenge to show how angry they are.

• A child will model bad behaviour from other children.

• It can happen when guidelines are unclear at home.

• Some children need to be specifically taught the correct behaviour.

• When a child is stressed. Difficult behaviour can be an outcome.

These are only a few examples of why poor behaviour can happen. Consider tackling the difficult behaviour in the following way:

• Listen effectively to what they have to say. This is active listening.

• Then talk about ways to address their concerns.

• Some negotiation may be need. Work together on this plan.

• Then together think about a resolution which may involve consequences for the child. This is real problem solving.

• Check in later after action has been taken and affirm your child for going through the process.

Prevention is better than cure so think about why the problem behaviour has occurred. The more you understand, the less problems will continue to evolve.

“When you catch their good behaviour, reward well. It’s the best antidote to misbehaviour.”

— Gail J Smith

Managing anger around children.

Anger management can be quite an issue when we live busy lives, have many and varied pressures on us and our children are unsettled. It’s a natural part of life to feel anger. What we need to understand is that a child can often misinterpret our anger and will often take on much of the blame when we have a meltdown. Managing our anger around children is the best way to ensure that your child is not overpowered by your feelings. Our angry outbursts can sometimes lead them to shut down and to avoid being in our presence.

 Here are some thoughts on how your anger can influence your child.

• Children need a safe and nurturing environment. Uncontrolled anger can create fear and emotional insecurity, impacting a child's sense of safety at home. The home should be a very safe place for them.

•  Witnessing frequent anger can harm a child's mental health. It may lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty in managing emotions. Often they blame themselves for the anger.

• Children learn by observing. Constant exposure to anger might lead them to imitate aggressive behaviours, affecting their own ways of handling stress and conflicts. What they see is often what they think is the way to operate.

• A calm environment encourages open communication. When parents manage anger, it fosters trust, allowing children to feel comfortable sharing their feelings without fear of harsh reactions.

• Children learn about healthy relationships from their parents. Managing anger positively teaches them constructive ways to handle conflicts, promoting healthier relationships in the future. When they see healthy relationships, they desire to have them in their life.

If the family household contains a lot of anger, it can put your child at risk of mental health problems later in life. It also suggests that they may become aggressive and exhibit behavioural problems themselves.

Consider the three R’s of anger- Recognise, Reflect and Respond. Also, when feeling really angry, step away from the feeling for a while. This helps reduce the angry feeling.

 As a parent, understand how you cope emotionally with your child.  Being aware will make all the difference to yourself and especially your child.

 ‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

Navigating the Emotional Roller coaster: Supporting Parents with Children at School

The journey of parenting can be a roller coaster of emotions, especially when it comes to supporting your children's experiences at school. As parents, we all want the best for our kids and wish to see them thrive in their academic and social lives. However, it is not uncommon to encounter various challenges that may leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or even helpless.

This blog aims to provide emotional support and practical strategies for parents to navigate the ups and downs of their children's school lives. For some children and parents school can be a very challenging environment on many levels.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape of School Life:

• Embrace the joy of seeing your child explore and learn new things at school, even though it may come with challenges like stress and anxiety.

• Celebrate your child's bravery as they face peer pressure and academic demands, knowing that they will grow stronger through these experiences.

• Remember, it's okay to feel a mix of emotions as a parent – from worry to pride – it shows how much you care about your child's well-being and success.

Effective Communication with Your Child:

• Share laughter and light-hearted moments with your child when talking about their school life. A good sense of humour can bridge any communication gaps.

• Rejoice in being a trusted confidante for your child, where they can freely share their frustrations and feelings about school.

• Cherish those spontaneous moments when your child needs you, knowing that your attentive presence helps them navigate through their challenges.

Building Resilience in Your Child:

• Celebrate your child's growth mindset and the positive attitude they develop towards learning and setbacks. Their resilience will lead them to greater achievements.

• Embrace the joy of teaching your child coping skills like yoga, mindfulness, or deep breathing, knowing you're giving them valuable tools for life.

• Witness the strength and resilience your child exhibits when facing stress and anxiety, and be proud of their ability to overcome obstacles.

Dealing with Academic Pressures:

• Take pride in your child's efforts and progress, letting them know that their hard work is appreciated regardless of the outcome.

• Find joy in striking a balance between supporting your child's academics and allowing them to grow independently, fostering their self-confidence.

• Celebrate each step of improvement and acknowledge your child's accomplishments, boosting their self-esteem along the way.

Handling Social and Peer-Related Issues:

• Find joy in being your child's pillar of support during friendship struggles, knowing you play a crucial role in their social development.

• Celebrate the moments when your child shows empathy and inclusiveness, as they cultivate healthy social skills and create meaningful friendships.

• Rejoice in the close connections you build with other parents and the valuable support network that helps normalize your concerns.

Coping with Transitions:

• Treasure the joy of witnessing your child navigate significant transitions, like starting school or changing schools, and seeing them grow in adaptability.

• Celebrate the milestones and graduations in your child's life, knowing that you've been there for them during every step of the journey.

Self-Care for Parents:

• Embrace the joy of prioritising self-care, as it not only benefits you but also positively influences your child's emotional well-being.

• Take pride in practicing self-care strategies that make you feel good and rejuvenated, allowing you to be the best version of yourself for your child.

• Celebrate the moments when you find peace and balance in your life, it sets a positive example for your child's self-care habits.

Connecting with Other Parents and Support Networks:

• Rejoice in the joy of finding a supportive network of fellow parents, where you can share experiences and find comfort in knowing you're not alone.

• Celebrate the benefits of seeking professional support when needed, it shows your dedication to being the best parent you can be.

Parenting is a beautiful journey filled with ups and downs, and by embracing the joy of supporting your child emotionally through their school years, you create a nurturing environment for them to flourish and grow into confident, resilient individuals.

        ‘As your child grows and changes, you too grow and change as a parent. Embrace it.’                                                                          

-Gail J Smith

Do you ever feel like you have hit rock bottom as a parent?

We all have those moments and sometimes they turn into hours!

In my work as a school principal, I was always noticing the major changes and adjustments that families made as time went on. Crisis can hit, but as time went on, circumstances shifted and new life came into what were very difficult situations.

Fear is often an issue with parents when they think about the worst-case scenario. They think about the dreaded, ‘What if’ factor. This can become quite a preoccupation. It can cloud common sense responses to situations and can limit a parent’s ability to open their minds to options.

Here are some ideas to keep you going and to remind you that being human, making mistakes, etc. is all part of parenting:

• Nothing is permanent. If you have a crisis or just hitting rock bottom, it will pass. Time has a way of shifting the ebbs and flows of life experiences. Everything has its season.

• Children keep changing and evolving. Their thoughts and ideas keep shifting and their needs and demands will change as we, the parents, change with them. Therefore, worrying unduly or overthinking about one issue is pointless. Sometimes preoccupying ourselves can mean the problem just disappears, without any of our interference.

• The problems children have are children’s problems, so I recommend putting things into perspective and worrying less. Children’s problems come and go and they often take charge of them themselves. Everything of course within reason.

• Your children will surprise you! When it comes, enjoy the challenge and try not to become anxious about its implications.

• If you are getting tired from just parenting, perhaps you are working at it too hard. Are you overthinking matters? Perhaps you are demanding too much control? Some of the best parenting I have seen came from relaxed and easy-going people who were quite happy to let things just be at times and not interfere too much with their children’s issues. Simply having a presence can at times be enough.

• Don’t forget to not lose yourself in parenting. Allow some time for yourself to develop who you are. The happier you are as a person in your own right, the better you will be as a parent. Think about exercising or doing some activity that gives you joy. Permit yourself to be a parent that makes room for yourself.

• If you are feeling overwhelmed, learn to reduce the pressure. Find ways to cut back on planned activities or slow down from adding to the list of things to do. Your child wants you as a happy parent, not a fatigued parent. Less is better when it all gets too much!

• Be honest with your child. If you are tired tell them. If you haven't the time to do what is requested, talk about it. Your child needs to learn and understand your limits. Be authentic with them and they will appreciate your honesty. This is how they learn empathy, compassion and tolerance. This is also about setting responsible boundaries that support your needs.

• If you are hitting a low point, seek out friends and companions that have a similar journey. A lot can be gained by having such a support group to call on. We all need to rely on others. Parenting has been around since the cavemen.

• Sometimes saying less when things get heated is the best way not to overcomplicate situations and tire yourself out. We often try to be available and solve situations on the run. Saying less and even silence at times creates some emotional respite which can be a calming time.

• If discipline is needed, are you the one to deal with it if you are not in the right space? Perhaps delay discipline if you are not able to deal with it at the time. You need to be well and in a good mental space to be disciplining children.

• Try not to be critical of yourself as a parent. You are doing the best you can. Don’t compare yourself to others. You can go into dangerous emotional spaces when you do this comparison. Your child loves and values you for who you are, warts and all so keep up with just loving your child and doing your best. By the way, I have never met a perfect parent!

 Finally play often with your child. The more you play, the less intense you are and that greater feeling of being connected to your child tends to wash away some of those feelings of it all being too much. Play is a wonderful healing agent. We all need to play from time to time.

         ‘Self care is turning some of the nurturing energy you give to your child, towards yourself.’

                                                                       -Kristi Yeh LMFT