Teaching children about the value of making good choices

We can all choose to make choices that can either hinder or enlighten our lives. For example you can choose to have a go or you can choose to not have a go. We should encourage our children to learn the difference and to understand that when we make those choices they can affect our life in different ways.

Who we are is a result of the choices we make.

Consider the following ideas about the impact on a child when they make their own choices:

Promotes Responsibility: When children learn that their choices have consequences, they develop a sense of accountability. They understand that choosing to work hard or make responsible decisions directly impacts their success and happiness.

Builds Self-Confidence: Allowing children to make choices reinforces their belief in their own abilities. Whether they succeed or fail, knowing that they had the power to choose builds confidence in their decision-making skills.

Fosters Independence: By making their own decisions, children learn to rely on themselves instead of always seeking approval or guidance from others. This fosters independence and helps them navigate life with more confidence.

Develops Critical Thinking: When children are taught to weigh the pros and cons of their choices, they develop critical thinking skills. They learn how to assess situations, predict outcomes, and make thoughtful decisions rather than impulsive ones.

Supports Emotional Growth: Understanding that they have control over their actions and thoughts (e.g. choosing to think positively) helps children manage their emotions. They learn that their choices can influence how they feel and respond to situations, which is key to emotional resilience.

These lessons empower children to shape their lives with intention and self-awareness. Don’t forget to affirm them when you see positive outcomes from choices they make themselves.

“The more a child experiences positive outcomes from making good choices, the more insight they develop about themselves.”

— Gail J Smith

Let’s look at conversations to have with your child

Here are five great conversation topics that parents can frequently discuss with their children to support mental health, foster a positive disposition, and reassure them of being loved. Frequent positive reminders are healthy ways to give a positive outlook to a growing child and to build emotional intelligence.

Emotions and Feelings

• Topic: "How are you feeling today? It's okay to have all kinds of emotions."

• Purpose: Encourage emotional expression and validation of feelings. This helps children understand that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that their feelings are important.

• Reassuring Message: "No matter how you feel, I'm always here to listen and support you."

Self-Worth and Inner Strength

• Topic: "What do you think makes you special or unique?"

• Purpose: This encourages self-reflection and builds self-esteem by helping the child recognize their strengths, talents, and individuality.

• Reassuring Message: "You are amazing just the way you are, and I love you for who you are."

Challenges and Problem-Solving

• Topic: "What was something challenging today, and how did you handle it?"

• Purpose: Encouraging conversations about handling challenges reinforces resilience and problem-solving skills, helping children approach difficulties with a positive mindset.

• Reassuring Message: "No matter what happens, you’re strong, and I believe in your ability to get through tough times."

Gratitude and Positivity

• Topic: "What are three things you’re thankful for today?"

• Purpose: Fostering gratitude can shift the focus toward the positive aspects of life, promoting optimism and mental well-being.

• Reassuring Message: "Even when things are hard, there’s always something good, and I’m grateful to have you in my life."

Love and Belonging

• Topic: "What’s something fun we could do together soon?"

• Purpose: Strengthen the parent-child bond by focusing on shared experiences, making the child feel valued and connected.

• Reassuring Message: "You are always loved, no matter what, and spending time with you makes me happy."

Frequent conversations on these topics not only build a child's mental resilience but also provide the emotional security that they are loved and supported unconditionally. Every child needs reassurance and will from time to time need that extra reassurance that their world is fine.

“A parent’s positive reassurance is a life line to a child.”

— Gail J Smith

What lessons in life do you want to teach your children?

There are many lessons we teach our children, but some should have more reticence than others for our children to have happy well-balanced lives. Consider the five lessons below and it may be worth reflecting on how we teach our children these lessons.

Kindness Matters

• Lesson: Always treat others with kindness and respect, no matter the situation.

• How Taught: You've modelled kindness in your own interactions, showing empathy and compassion in everyday situations, whether it's helping a neighbour or speaking politely to strangers.

Be True to Yourself

• Lesson: Stay true to who you are, even when it's difficult. Your uniqueness is your strength.

• How Taught: You've encouraged your child to pursue their passions and supported them in making choices that align with their values, even if those choices are different from the norm.

Learn from Mistakes

• Lesson: Mistakes are part of life. Learn from them and keep moving forward.

• How Taught: You've shared your own mistakes openly and discussed what you learned from them. You've also reassured your child that it’s okay to fail, as long as they try again.

Hard Work Pays Off

• Lesson: Success comes from hard work and perseverance, not just luck.

• How Taught: You've demonstrated a strong work ethic, whether through your job or personal projects, and involved your child in tasks that require effort and patience, showing them the value of dedication.

Take Care of Yourself

• Lesson: Your well-being is important. Take care of your mind and body.

• How Taught: You've prioritized self-care in your own life, whether through exercise, healthy eating, or taking time to relax. You’ve also encouraged your child to express their feelings and take breaks when needed.

It is amazing what a child takes into their life from their childhood. Your efforts need be no more than being authentic and sharing your life with your child. Best to make it worthwhile for both you and your child.

“Leave your child with memories of a happy, well-balanced childhood. It pays dividends for them in their older life.”

— Gail J Smith

Good principles of parenting

Let’s keep in mind that our parenting will keep changing as we gradually grow into it and as our children grow older and their needs change. It is in constant evolution. What we need to keep stable are some fundamental principles of good parenting. They will hold us in good stead in times of turbulence and change throughout our parenting years.

 Consider the following principles:

• Unconditional Love

  Love your child for who they are, not just for what they do. Your love is their safe haven in the world. Unconditional love means that despite behaviour that you do not like, you still love the child. It is only behaviour driven by some anxiety.

• Active Listening

  When you listen to your child with an open heart, you show them that their voice matters. It's the key to understanding and connection. Effective listening allows the child to feel heard and valued. They are then more inclined to  go to you when they are anxious and need to be heard.

• Setting Boundaries with Empathy

  Boundaries are like the walls of a safe playground. Set them with love and understanding, so your child can explore the world confidently. Boundaries allow the child to know where they stand and what matters to you the parent.

• Positive Reinforcement

  Praise their effort and progress, not just the end result. Your encouragement fuels their motivation to learn and grow. Be specific when praising. Let the child know what is valued in the praise.

• Teaching Through Example

  Your actions speak louder than words. Be the role model you want your child to follow, and they'll learn from your example.

• Embracing Mistakes as Learning

  Mistakes are stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Show your child that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn and improve. Let them see in your own life how you use mistakes to inform your life. Talk openly about how mistakes are a great learning tool.

•  Provide a safe haven

  A child that feels safe takes more risks and learns more confidently through their home environment. Set it up so that conversation is encouraged and affirmation is given regularly. Let there be no judgement on their efforts.

•  Set up a positive learning environment

  This should be a creative space where your child feels safe to talk about issues, develop ideas and discuss topics. Allow your child to explore their thinking in a home and family environment that is open to ideas and questions all the time.  They will feel free to be creative and extend ideas and thoughts well beyond the conventional.

We can never be the perfect parent. That is a myth. We can however be a parent that understands and works hard to practise some basis principles that hold strong and true through your rearing years.

“Learning some basic principles of parenting provides a safety zone for good parenting.”

— Gail J Smith

Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.

Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.

• Prioritize and Delegate

Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.

• Embrace “Good Enough”

Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.

• Meal Planning and Prep

Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.

• Use Technology to Stay Organized

Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.

• Set Boundaries

Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.

• Practice Mindful Breaks

Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.

Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.

“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”

— Gail Smith

What you say to your child sticks.

As your child grows, how wonderful it would be if they just knew how you valued them and how consistently you talked about matters that mattered to them. The statements below are powerful suggestions of words that can be repeated time and time again over the years. It doesn't matter if children are three years of age or late teenagers. These statements are powerful tools in driving the right message into them. Consider building them into your repertoire.

"I believe in you, no matter what."

Impact: This statement reinforces your unwavering faith in your child's abilities and character, helping them feel confident and supported even during challenging times.

"You are loved just the way you are."

Impact: Letting your child know that they are loved unconditionally helps them feel secure and accepted, fostering a strong sense of self-worth.

"I’m proud of you for being who you are."

Impact: This acknowledgement celebrates your child’s individuality and encourages them to embrace their unique qualities with pride.

"Your feelings matter to me."

Impact: By affirming the importance of their emotions, you validate your child’s experiences and teach them that their thoughts and feelings are valuable.

"You have the strength to overcome any challenge."

Impact: Empowering your child with this belief helps them develop resilience and the confidence to face obstacles with determination.

These statements repeated throughout your child’s life send a very clear message of your unwavering love and support as they grow into well-developed young adults. Repeat them often for a strong effect.

“Use words well around children. They listen with sharp ears.”

— -Gail J Smith

Be Present for your child. It supports their mental Health

Being present for your child is one of the most impactful things you can do as a parent.

Here are five outstanding reasons why your presence is crucial, particularly for your child’s mental health:

Emotional Security and Trust

• When parents are consistently present, children feel secure knowing that they have a reliable support system. This sense of security forms the foundation for trust, which is essential for healthy emotional development.

• Mental Health Impact: A secure attachment with parents reduces anxiety and stress, fostering resilience and emotional stability.

Building Self-Esteem

• Parental presence, through active engagement and positive reinforcement, helps children develop a strong sense of self-worth. They feel valued when their parents show interest in their thoughts, feelings, and activities.

• Mental Health Impact: High self-esteem is closely linked to lower rates of depression and anxiety. Children who feel good about themselves are more likely to take on challenges and develop healthy social relationships.

Role Modelling Positive Behaviour

• Children learn by observing their parents. When parents are present, they can model positive behaviours such as empathy, patience, and problem-solving skills, which children are likely to emulate.

• Mental Health Impact: Positive role modelling helps children develop healthy coping mechanisms and social skills, reducing the likelihood of developing mental health issues related to poor interpersonal relationships.

Supporting Emotional Expression

• Being present allows parents to create a safe space for their children to express their emotions. When children know they can share their feelings without judgement, they learn to process emotions in a healthy way.

• Mental Health Impact: This open communication reduces the risk of emotional repression, which can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges later in life.

Enhancing Cognitive Development

• Active involvement in your child’s learning and development—through play, reading, or helping with homework—stimulates their cognitive growth. It also encourages a love for learning and curiosity.

• Mental Health Impact: Cognitive stimulation and a positive learning environment reduce stress and anxiety related to school and social pressures. This, in turn, promotes a healthier mental state and a more positive outlook on life.

You can be present with your child in many and varied ways. It does not require perfection but simple healthy, regular engagement with your child nourishes their spirit and sense of well being.

“Enjoy the moments with your child. They become hours, days and fruitful years.”

— Gail J Smith

Mental well being needs to be nourished over the years

There is no quick fix to building a healthy mental state with our children. Slow steady consistent habits developed in your family can be great boosters for mental health.

Consider:

• Affirm the small achievements.

  They do not need to be on a large scale but you recognize in your child some simple milestones that they have made. That could be at school, sporting efforts, improved attitudes, showing generosity, demonstrating gratitude etc.

• Give them the liberty of talking about issues.

  Sometimes we jump in fairly quickly and can place judgement on what they have to say. Just be an effective listener without showing strong opinions and let the conversation flow. You may learn something interesting.

• Play and enjoy their childhood.

  A happy child who plays often and lives in a world where they can be creative and free show a greater ability to be less stressed throughout life. We all need a good childhood. Play with them.

• Gradually build their independence.

  From birth, a child is working to be more independent. Your support in giving them small opportunities as the years go by, will give them personal satisfaction in managing themselves. As they grow in independence, they feel emotionally in charge and ready for more challenges. They accept failure more easily and see it as a learning curve.

• Let them think critically

  A critical thinking child develops strong emotional independence. Talk frequently to your child and let them ask questions often. Guide them in thinking about optional viewpoints and keep their minds open to new ideas. A closed mind is dangerous

A child who learns to inquire about life is not frightened about the challenges it offers. In fact they invite them.

“Those foundation years need ongoing nourishment and enrichment to keep developing good mental health.”

— Gail J Smith

Why it is important to monitor the mental health of your child

It is such a complicated world now that we are always in the throws of social media etc. There is much for our children to absorb and to learn. We know that keeping our children happy and feeling secure in the early years is critical to building mental stamina.

The following thoughts remind us of the importance of being aware of how your child is handling their mental health.

Good mental health in the early years can:

• Prevent Anxiety and Depression: Early monitoring helps identify signs of anxiety and depression, allowing for timely intervention and reducing long-term impacts.

• Promote Academic Success: A mentally healthy child is more focused, engaged, and motivated in school, leading to better academic performance.

• Encourage Healthy Coping Mechanisms: Regular check-ins teach children how to manage stress and emotions, fostering resilience and emotional intelligence.

• Strengthen Parent-Child Connection: Being attentive to a child's mental health builds trust and opens lines of communication, making children more likely to share their feelings.

• Reduce Risk of Substance Abuse: Monitoring mental well-being can help prevent negative behaviours, such as substance abuse, that children might turn to as coping mechanisms.

• Support Long-Term Well-being: Ensuring good mental health in childhood sets the foundation for a happier, more balanced adult life, with fewer mental health issues.

Of course we do not live in a perfect world and from time to time your child will be challenged on various levels especially socially and emotionally. Simply be there, understand, listen well and together find solutions to problems. That kind of nurture builds resilience and reassurance in children.

“Tears fall for a reason and they are your strength not weakness.”

— Charlie Mackesy

Six reasons why giving your child quality time works

The time you give to your child is valuable and has a lasting effect on their feelings of being loved and feeling secure.

Here are six surprising outcomes when you give of your time to your child:

Your effort:

Promotes Creativity: Engaging in imaginative play with parents stimulates children's creative thinking and problem-solving skills.

Reduces Stress: Shared activities and positive interactions can lower stress levels in children, leading to better overall mental health.

Teaches Conflict Resolution: Quality time allows parents to model healthy ways to handle

disagreements, helping children develop strong conflict resolution skills.

Enhances Cultural Awareness: Parents can introduce children to diverse cultures and traditions, broadening their understanding of the world.

Improves Physical Health: Active play and shared physical activities encourage healthy habits and improve physical fitness.

Fosters Independence: By spending time together, parents can teach essential life skills, empowering children to become more self-reliant and confident in their abilities.

Giving quality time to your child is all about sharing more of your life with them. There will come a time when they disappear out of sight and we struggle to bring them into our presence. This is of course the teenage years. Therefore value those moments you share together. It is rewarded a hundred fold.

“Shared time with your child builds strong mental health in all the family”

— Gail J Smith.

Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent

We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.

The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.

Consider:

• Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.

• Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.

• Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.

• Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.

When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.

“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”

— Gail J Smith

It is important to speak well to your children

Speaking well to children is a language all its own. Children register very quickly from what you say and how you say it, what kind of value you place in them.

Here are six sound reasons why speaking well to children is important and it also highlights damage that can be caused if we do not speak well.

Building Self-Esteem

• When children hear positive words and encouragement, they feel valued and loved. This helps them develop a healthy sense of self-worth.

• However, harsh words can make children doubt their abilities and feel unimportant, leading to low self-esteem.

Fostering Emotional Security

Kind and understanding words create a safe emotional environment. Children feel secure knowing they can express themselves without fear of judgement. However, negative communication can make children anxious or fearful, feeling like they must always be on guard.

Encouraging Positive Behaviour

Praise and positive reinforcement motivate children to repeat good behaviour and make better choices. However, constant criticism can lead to rebellion or a lack of motivation to try their best.

Developing Language Skills

Hearing rich and positive language helps children expand their vocabulary and communication skills, crucial for their overall development. However, exposure to negative or limited language can hinder their ability to express themselves effectively.

Modelling Respectful Communication

Children learn by observing. Speaking well to them teaches them how to communicate respectfully with others. However, if children hear harsh or disrespectful language, they might imitate this behaviour in their interactions.

Strengthening Parent-Child Bond

Positive communication fosters a strong, trusting relationship between parents and children, which is the foundation for a healthy family dynamic. However, negative interactions can create distance and weaken the parent-child bond, making it harder for children to confide in their parents.

When a child feels confident to talk to you about important matters and when they are relaxed in how they communicate with you, this is a sign that you are speaking well to your child. All they want is to feel safe through your dialogue and welcomed in your conversations.

“Speak well to your child and they will speak well back.”

— Gail J Smith

How To Keep Your Anger Under Control Around Children

Being angry from time to time is natural. We cannot be even tempered all the time and there are often triggers that will set us off. Tiredness and being over busy are catalysts for feeling anger. We know that children can become quite anxious if a parent shows a lot of anger from time to time. Intermittent anger can be very confusing for a child and they will often withdraw when that happens.  Uncontrolled anger from a parent can have severe effects on a child.

Below are some recommendations to practise reducing your anger. They are excellent strategies to use which will also have a calming effect on yourself. This will benefit your moods and overall well being. There is strength in calmness.

Consider:

• Practice Deep Breathing: When you feel anger rising, take a moment to breathe deeply. Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and exhale for a count of four. Repeat this a few times to help calm your mind and body.

• Take a Timeout: Just like children, parents can benefit from a timeout. If you feel overwhelmed, step away for a few minutes to collect your thoughts. This can help prevent you from saying or doing something in anger that you might regret later.

• Identify Triggers: Pay attention to what specific situations or behaviours trigger your anger. Understanding your triggers allows you to anticipate and manage them better, reducing the likelihood of an outburst.

• Use Positive Self-Talk: Remind yourself that anger is a natural emotion but it can be controlled. Use phrases like “I can handle this calmly” or “I am in control of my emotions” to re frame your mindset in stressful situations.

• Implement Physical Activity: Physical exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and stress. Incorporate regular physical activity into your routine, whether it’s a daily walk, yoga, or a quick workout, to help manage your anger levels.

• Communicate Openly: Express your feelings in a calm and constructive manner. Use “I” statements to explain how you feel and why, without blaming or criticising your child. For example, say “I feel frustrated when the toys are left out because it makes the room messy” instead of “You never clean up your toys.”

• Be Authentic: Your child knows you well. Talk to them about the things that can make you upset and this will help them take more responsibility when they bring up certain topics. It is also a positive family thing to do when families talk about what makes them angry.

Through managing your anger you are setting a great example for your child. They will see the effort being made and recognise that controlling anger is a necessary skill to live effectively.

‘Being calm, you show strength through your actions.’

-Gail J Smith

Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child

We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene.  Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:

Changes in Sleep Patterns

Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.

Behavioural Changes

Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.

Physical Symptoms

 Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.

Academic Performance

 A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.

Changes in Eating Habits

Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.

Regression to Earlier Behaviours

 Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.

 Frequent Crying

A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.

Avoidance Behaviours

 A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.

Increased Dependency

 A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.

Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness

Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.

When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.

 The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence.  -Gail J Smith

The importance of your child attending school regularly

Once a child gets out of the pattern of attending school regularly various issues can develop which further exacerbates their interest in attending. We need our children to be keen and interested in school. When they feel that it is important for them to attend you can feel reassured that they are engaged with the school environment.

Here are five reasons why regular attendance is so necessary for a well adjusted child at school:

Academic Achievement:

• Consistent attendance ensures students don't miss important lessons and activities, leading to better understanding of the material and higher academic performance. The child who misses important lessons soon feels they are not a success. They feel that others are smarter than them. This can lead to disengagement from their work.

Skill Development:

• Regular attendance helps students develop essential skills such as time management, responsibility, and discipline, which are crucial for future success. A child needs and responds to the setting of boundaries and being in routines.

Social Interaction:

• Attending school regularly allows children to build and maintain friendships, improving their social skills and providing emotional support through peer interactions. Regular friendship contact gives a child reassurance and they feel socially satisfied.

Access to Resources:

• Regular attendance provides students with access to school resources like libraries, labs, and extracurricular activities, enhancing their learning experience and personal growth.

Preparation for the Future:

• Consistent school attendance establishes a routine and work ethic that prepares students for future education and employment, instilling a sense of commitment and reliability. When they lose this momentum they can feel lost and quite disconnected from their peers.

It does require effort on the part of the family but each morning is important in getting everyone up in time to face the day.

“When your child is fully engaged at school, they seldom become anxious about getting ready to leave in the morning.”

— Gail J Smith

Let’s remind ourselves that as parents we are doing a great job

Never underestimate the great work you are doing with your child. We live in a very imperfect world and parenting comes with its ups and downs. Sometimes we find that efforts we are making are having an impact on our child. Sometimes we feel a failure in that our child’s understanding and interest in their parents diminishes.

Here are some reflections to remind us all that our efforts are not in vain and that you will be currently making a difference for your child in many ways, some seen but many unseen.

Consider:

• Your love and guidance are the foundations upon which your child's future is built. Every hug and every moment you spend together shapes who they become. None of your efforts are ever lost.

• You are your child's first and most important teacher. The lessons you impart, through both words and actions, will resonate with them throughout their lives.

• Your support and belief in your child's potential can turn their dreams into reality. Your encouragement is a powerful force that fuels their confidence and ambition. They heavily rely on it.

• The warmth and security you provide create a safe space for your child to explore the world. Your presence gives them the courage to take risks and learn from their experiences.

• Every moment you spend with your child, no matter how small, leaves a lasting impression. Your time and attention are priceless gifts that they will cherish forever.

• Your positivism and resilience in the face of challenges teach your child how to navigate life's ups and downs. They will observe carefully how you navigate your way through life’s challenges.

• The values and principles you instill in your child will guide them long after they leave your home.

• Your influence shapes their character and their approach to life. They may vary somewhat from your values but you will influence their big decisions and life’s choices by your modelling.

• Your love is the constant in your child's life, a beacon that guides them through their formative years. This unconditional support helps them grow into happy, confident individuals believing in themselves.

• By simply being present and involved, you are making a profound difference in your child's life.

• Your engagement and involvement are keys to their success and well-being. They need and want your presence and your approval.

• Every time you listen, every time you show empathy, you teach your child the importance of understanding and compassion. These lessons in kindness will ripple through their interactions with others. They will prefer to operate in that way.

• Your belief in your child's abilities can inspire them to reach for the stars. When they see you believe in them, they start to believe in themselves too.

• The love and joy you share as a family create memories that your child will carry with them for a lifetime. This is all about developing emotional intelligence.

• Your actions, words and deeds are the blueprint your child uses to navigate the world. The positive example you set today will guide their decisions tomorrow.

• Your patience and understanding during tough times show your child that they are loved unconditionally. This reassurance builds their resilience and self-worth."

“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.”

— -Jane D Hull

Helping your child navigate social challenges at school

There will always different forms of social challenges at school. There is no denying it and when your child navigates those occasions well, they grow both in intellectual and social maturity. Here are some ideas to support them:

1. Teach Effective Communication:

   Role-play with your child to practice different communication scenarios, such as how to ask for help, express their feelings, or resolve conflicts with classmates. Teach them how to express an ‘I’ statement that clearly states their feelings.  For example: “I am sad that… I am unhappy when you….”

2. Encourage Empathy and Kindness:

   Discuss real-life situations with your child where empathy made a difference, like helping a friend who was feeling sad or being inclusive during group activities. Also your modelling in demonstrating empathy and kindness are so important.

3. Promote Social Skills Development:

   Enrol your child in extracurricular activities like drama, art, or team sports to improve their social skills, teamwork, and cooperation. Regularly engagement in sports and other group activities also teaches self discipline, learning to accept disappointments etc.

4. Provide Problem-Solving Strategies:

   Share the "STOP" strategy with your child (Stop, Think, Options, Pick one), which can help them make thoughtful choices when faced with social challenges. Also teach about negotiation and resolving conflicts where compromise and understanding are included.

5. Foster Resilience:

   When your child encounters setbacks or rejection, discuss the importance of learning from failures and trying again, emphasising that challenges are opportunities for growth. Talk about famous people who have experienced failure in their efforts to be successful.

6. Open Lines of Communication:

   Create a safe and non-judgmental environment at home for your child to share their experiences and concerns about school. Regularly ask open-ended questions like, "How was your day?" to encourage conversation. Remember that in being non-judgmental your child will feel safe in talking about matters that are on their mind.

Encourage your child to be an optimistic and to feel that they can overcome social issues that they `come across. Let them learn (from the above suggestions) that there are many ways and means to work through social challenges. Of course the more personally confident a child becomes the easier the process of working more confidently through social challenges.

‘Promise me you’ll always remember:

you’re braver than you believe,

 and stronger than you see,

and smarter that you think.

- Christopher Robin

Helping our children to love reading

The world our children live in today is filled with so much stimulus from television and so many forms of entertainment on social media platforms. It is no wonder reading from a book can seem so mundane and boring. It can be a challenge to excite and motivate some children and therefore not an easy task for parents.

Here are some ideas to encourage and stimulate your child’s interest in reading. We all need to eat a balanced diet and in this case our children need that balanced diet between books and other forms of entertainment.

Consider:

• Create a Cosy Reading Nook: Designate a special, comfortable spot in the house just for reading. It should be well lit and very inviting to the child. Fill it with soft cushions, good lighting, and a variety of books. Only use it for this purpose.

• Model Reading Behaviour: Let your children see you reading regularly. This sets a positive example and shows that reading is an enjoyable activity. Leave a few books scattered around the house. This gives a strong message that reading is encouraged.

• Start a Family Book Club: Choose a book to read together as a family and discuss it. This can be a fun way to bond and share insights about the story. Perhaps it can be read over dinner. This could become a family ritual to read together.

• Incorporate Reading into Daily Routines: Integrate reading into everyday activities, such as reading a recipe while cooking, signs while driving, or instructions for a game. Encourage your child to do the reading and to give you guidance from what they have read.

• Visit Libraries and Bookstores: Make trips to the library or bookstore a regular family outing. Let your children explore and pick out books that interest them. Spend time together just browsing.

• Read Aloud Together: Take turns reading aloud with your child. This can make reading a shared, enjoyable experience and help with their fluency and expression. Also talk about the story together as you each read a section.

• Use Technology Wisely: Leverage e-books and reading apps if your child is tech-savvy. Interactive and animated e-books can be particularly engaging for younger children.

• Offer a Variety of Reading Materials: Provide access to different genres and types of reading materials - comics, graphic novels, magazines, and newspapers can be just as valuable as traditional books. It is all about the enjoyment of reading. Take care not to influence their preferences.

• Set Reading Goals and Rewards: Create a fun reading challenge with rewards for meeting goals, such as stickers for each book read or a special treat after finishing a certain number of books. Celebrate the reading of books in the family.

• Create a Reading Schedule: Designate a specific time each day for reading. Consistency can help make reading a habit.

• Connect Books with Interests: Find books that align with your child's hobbies and interests. If they love dinosaurs, get them dinosaur books; if they’re into space, find books about astronauts and planets.

• Encourage Storytelling: Have your child create their own stories. This can spark an interest in reading as they see the connection between storytelling and books. Invite them to simply make up stories and enjoy listening to them.

• Make Reading Interactive: Ask questions about the story, make predictions, and relate the content to your child’s experiences. Engaging with the text makes it more enjoyable and meaningful.

• Celebrate Authors and Illustrators: Learn about the people behind the books. Sometimes knowing about the author's or illustrator's life can spark a deeper interest in their work.

If your family is a reading family then it may be an easier process for your child to read with ease and pleasure. Sometimes less motivated children do need a push and to set up routines so that they learn the habit of reading in one form or another. A child exposed to books will at some point come to value reading.

“We read to know we are not alone.”

— C S Lewis

Listening to your child is important for many reasons

We know that our children are so influenced by social media that draw them away from connecting to the family. It therefore makes sense to be an effective listener with your child as they will show more interest in being around you if you are prepared to listen. Here are some strong reasons to keep yourself well in tune with your child.

• Listening shows you care, building trust and a strong bond with your child.

• When you listen, kids open up more about their lives. They are really grateful that you listen.

• Catch issues early by paying attention to what your child says. Give them time to do their talking.

• Kids feel valued and confident when they know you’re listening. Therefore they are more inclined to keep up that habit as they grow older.

• Listening helps kids understand and express their feelings better. This is great for nurturing good mental health.

• Show them how to be good listeners and communicators by doing it yourself.

• Listening helps kids feel supported, empowering them to solve problems. If they feel supported they will keep returning for a chat.

• Kids learn better when they know their thoughts are heard and valued.

• Quality listening time builds happy, memorable moments together. You discover a lot about your child through listening.

When a child grows up around parents that really take the time to listen to their child, they feel their views are valued and feelings of self worth grow. This will become a very healthy pattern for a child to go to their parents when they need to talk.

“The first duty of love is to listen.”

— Paul Tillich

Developing good mental health in your child

We hear much about the importance of strengthening our children's mental health. We understand that in childhood there are certain cues that can activate positive thoughts about themselves. Here are some suggestions to strengthen your child's mental health on those sensitive early years.

Consider:

• Be a talkative family that likes to openly discuss everything. Do this from an early age. They need to feel they can talk to you about their problems.

• Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions, as children often

  mimic their parents. Look more on the brighter side of life when working

  through problems.

• Provide structure with consistent daily routines to create a sense of stability

  and security.

• Help your child build strong, supportive friendships and connections with

  family members. Let them invite friends into your house. Accept all their

  friends they will come and go over the years.

• Encourage regular exercise, which can boost mood and overall mental well-

  being. Join them in games and physical exercise.

• Introduce simple mindfulness exercises or relaxation techniques to help your

  child manage stress. This can be done as a routine with the family. Make it an

  enjoyable time together.

• Monitor and limit the amount of time your child spends on screens to ensure

  they engage in diverse activities. Leading an active family life will help cut

  down this time.

• Support your child in exploring and developing their interests and talents. Show interest in their passions and hobbies no matter how unusual they may

  seem to you.

• Acknowledge and praise your child's efforts and achievements to build their

  self-esteem. Find the time to catch them when they are good even over small

  deeds.

• Spend quality time with your child, showing that you are there for them and

  interested in their lives. Always keep promises that you will follow up with

  conversations.

When a child lives in an environment that gives them the scope to express themselves in different ways they learn to be creative which is such a stress buster and a wonderful way to nurture good mental health.

“The foundation to good mental health in a child is to feel safe and happy in themselves.”

— Gail J Smith