Think about the value of laughter during lockdown

Victor Borge said,

‘Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.’

Here we are not talking about social distancing. We are talking about mental distancing. Let’s create the shortest distance possible!

When we consciously choose to keep laughter alive in our life, we naturally feel better and connect better to those around. People are attracted to warm and cheerful people. Laughter is life giving.

We know, through research, that laughter is a stress buster and at the moment, hard though it maybe, what we all need is a good injection of laughter in our life.

Children are naturally drawn to being cheerful and happy. So, for them, being in a family that laughs together is a natural and healthy way to live.

If laughter can keep us together, then it makes sense that in these tricky times, we use laughter as therapy. Think about the suggestions that follow to keep the laughter alive in your family.

• Use a joke book and each night have some family fun reading out jokes.

• Play a joke on your child during the day and surprise them with some laughter.

• Watch a funny movie together that brings laughter and cheerful attitudes to the house.

• Physical exercise can bring laughter into the home as everyone chats about the fun activities they did on their bike, skateboard etc.

• Write little cheery notes and put them under your child’s pillow. This is a wonderful surprise element.

• If you have a pet such as a dog at home family fun together can bring laughter to the house.

• Play family games. There are many board games etc. that bring laughter and fun to everyone.

• Do you have any funny family stories to tell the children? This can often be an entertaining time for all.

Laughter is cheap. It doesn’t cost anything and if we simply look around our home, I am sure you will find reasons to smile and laugh.

• Become a witty, fun person around your children. You will get so much positive feedback from engaging with your children in this way. You feel more fully alive when laughing with your children.

• Be imaginative. Draw, dance, skip with your children. It brings out the laughter and creativity of the family. This may mean being a little different from the usual person you are, but we are in times where we need to stretch our imagination and accept challenges.

• Take care to limit the negative talk. People generally feel better and happier when less negative discussion is around.

• Be a little more tolerant when mistakes are made. Less time spent in behaviour management and more time in being happy together makes for a calmer, more cheerful family.

• Try noticing less mistakes and problems around the house. This will slow down feelings of anxiety and cheer you up.

These thoughts are all about finding different avenues in which to bring joy and laughter into the home. Every family has their own unique way of laughing and playing together. After all, happiness is a very natural state for a person in which to live. Our physical and mental health is all the better for laughter in today’s unsettling world. See it as another important immunisation against mental deterioration.

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”

— Charlie Chaplin

The value of leisure

The activities that we choose to do in our leisure time certainly define us. It is worth contemplating how we use leisure time and how this influences our children.

How we show commitment and prioritise is all about leisure time. Are we a family that hitches up the caravan and disappears to the beach? Leisure time should be modelled for the children as high-quality hours quite separated from the hustle and bustle of work, school, etc.

The activities that we choose to do in our leisure time certainly define us.

Children need to learn that there are clear separations with leisure time from regular life. This teaches them that leisure time is an important investment in life. It nourishes the soul as well as the body.

The more they come to value the experiences, the more they will be searching for it in their own lives.

Take care to ensure that leisure is active and engaging. Watching television, screen time on computers is not giving direct attention to breaking from routine and setting up activities that provide real leisure for all the family.

Teachers invite students to plan leisure activities that will be enjoyed by the whole class. Often this involves active activities such as sport, art etc.  Sometimes school excursions are all about celebrating leisure time together. It is a great bonding agent.

 A few thoughts about developing sound leisure time:

• Invite the whole family into a discussion about how they want to use leisure time.

• Take risks. Suggest new leisure activities that take everyone out of their comfort zones. Our character reflects the leisure we choose.

• Research what is available and within your parameters as a family.

• Plan leisure time regularly and talk about it as part of your family routine. Let it become an important way of life and not just an incidental holiday.

• Get the children involved in the planning and if it involves gathering and packing equipment, this can be a wonderful way for them to become involved. Let them own some of the leisure plans and preparations.

Remind yourself that creating effective leisure time with the family is yet another way of supporting their mental growth and demonstrating the value of rest and recovery from the routine of life. It strengthens self-awareness and is an important way of expressing family.

“‘In our leisure we reveal what kind of people we are.’”

— Ovid

Providing balance to your child’s life.

We all need balance in our life. The last few months have challenged families in how they provide such balance and how they keep the overall momentum and spirit of the family going.

Balance is all about ensuring that variation and some real difference comes into play. Having more of the same can be restrictive, tedious and does not give the child opportunities to think in alternative ways. It hinders the ability to process different information and to succeed through various channels. When you spent those long hours working with children on the computer during the home-schooling period, did you not crave letting loose and freeing up time to do other more relaxing activities?

Classrooms are all about providing a day’s activities that contain balanced activities with recreation, spare time, alternative activities etc. The variance stimulates a child to perform better. It’s like pressing a refresher button every so often.  It is all about encouraging children to change direction and process their thoughts differently. This is excellent for stretching the brain in different directions. It enables children to look forward to activities in which they know they can succeed.

The good news is that many of the activities we enjoyed before coronavirus lockdown have returned and so now, we can plan our week confident that we can provide some balance for the week.

Consider:

• Can the children return to sport?

• Are there new sports or outdoor activities they can join?

• Given the quality time you had together in lockdown such as riding bikes etc, can this still be part of your regime?

• Have you mapped out time for homework, time for family activities? Time for personal space etc?

• Are you able to hang onto some of those great family habits of sharing time together now that we are back to post covid normal?

Your child will be adjusting to school, home, reengaging with friends, etc. Keep an eye on the balance and as a family discuss what the week should look like for all family members.

We do not live in a perfect world and families strive to be the best but this will come with twists and turns. Those twists and turns are all about finding some balance especially when times get tough and a new alignment is needed to keep the family well orientated. Such alignment will need frequent upgrades every so often.

 Families are after all a work in constant progress.

“Restore balance. Most children have technology, school and extracurricular activities covered.
It’s time to add
A pinch of adventure
A sprinkle of sunshine
and a big handle of outdoor play.”

— Penny Whitehouse

Getting the most out of time together

As parents we work hard to give our children fulfilling experiences. However, I challenge you to go outside the norm and give everyone in the family an exceptional and challenging experience. This is the stuff that makes for future stories and great memories when you take yourself out of the ordinary and into the unknown. For example, how about an adventurous and challenging hike?

If you are a family that has a focus on one sport activity, put it aside for a while and do something quite different.

I always remember the reaction when I put to the school parents that we would take our seniors to Canberra for the first time. The anticipation, the anxiety of some parents was high, but what an adventure we all had. I can honestly say I don’t remember much of other school camps over the years. However, this took us well out of our comfort zones. I know that the children still have fond memories including staff and that was several years ago.

Consider the adventure and challenge in your plan. There is often a much greater need to depend on each other in more demanding circumstances and this leads to stronger bonds between family members.

Why not simply talk about it as a family and together plan something that will literally present some challenges, create new experiences and bring you all into new territory together.

As a family when our children were teenagers, we charted a yacht and sailed around Tahiti. This was a little scary but it still is a source of much conversation and enjoyment when reliving the occasion.

In order to strengthen bonds in family, it is worthwhile considering some new experience that requires developing new skills. Plan it together. The more the children are involved in the organising, the better for all. It can even raise anxiety a little but ultimately it is a shared experience unique to you as a family.

“FAMILY…

We may not have it all together

But together we have it all.”

— Unknown

Create new experiences that bring your family into new territory together.

Learning about what to have and how to live without ownership of everything.

What a difficult lesson it is to teach our children that we do not need to own everything. This is tricky, especially when so many other children around them seem to have so much more. 

“Strive to have access to things. Not ownership of them. Possess something and it possesses you.”

— “Keep Life Simple Therapy”, Linus Mundy.

This certainly touches on family values and how a child understands what is possible and not possible in their family setting. It is about teaching the child that we live within our means. Living within your means can be taught quite well to the child.

In my experience families that play together, laugh together, talk together, physically exercise together, bike ride, walk in parks, play formal games like Monopoly etc., demonstrate to their children that there are many ways to access things but not own them. The more motivated they are with regard to accessing what is available for them, the greater appreciation they develop about what is around.

Also families can talk about their finances and what constitutes living in their means. This is such a worthwhile life lesson to teach children. In today's world, where financial transactions take place with credit cards etc. children do not get a visual understanding of cost.

Below are some useful tips in giving children a better understanding of appreciating things but not feeling unsatisfied if not owning some goods.

•  This is about the whole family setting family limits and discussing how their budget works perhaps across  a week. Best to keep it short and it can be in simple terms. It is about getting the child to reflect on the cost of living.

• Celebrating all the opportunities where the family can access things as opposed to owning them. For example as mentioned above utilising all the natural resources available in the area.

• Encourage the child to research the price of items. This is great for their Maths but also gets them to understand the value of goods.

• If a child has pocket money, then teaching them to save for a special item gives them pleasure in their efforts. Grandparents are great supports in quickly building up their resources.

• As a family, budget for one special item and tap into how that is going over time.

• Birthdays or Christmas are a great occasion for a child to receive something special. The waiting till the occasion has arrived is teaching the lesson of patience as well as placing more value on the gift.

• Encourage the child to write thank you cards when given something special. This helps them reflect on the effort on the part of the giver.

• Tell stories of your childhood and the excitement of waiting for gifts etc. Perhaps you had a paper round or worked to earn small amounts of money. Talk about the joy you felt when the effort was rewarded.

• If the answer is No to something they want, be prepared to explain the reason and listen to their concerns. Can you negotiate with them or is it simply not within budget expectations.

• Keep coins at the ready in your purse and invite the child to count out and pay for items with coins.

I have had the privilege of managing schools in different economic zones. What I learnt was that those children with less, seem to appreciate what they receive with gratitude and develop a deeper understanding of its value. They also display considerable creativity in their play. For our children in more affluent areas relying on their own creative resources is not necessary at times. Appreciation and gratitude can be harder lessons to learn. Families are highly influential in this area.

If a family demonstrates restraint and self management, this is a lesson well taught to a child.

Finding happiness isn't in the material things in life.

Finding happiness isn't in the material things in life.