Never Underestimate How Important You Are To Your Child At Any Age
It’s easy to forget the value that our children place on us.
'If you are emotionally and physically present for your child, you are a parent with impact'
-Gail J Smith
How easy it is to forget the value that our children place on us. At times we feel their trust and love have diminished but it actually hibernates for a while as they grow through different stages. Our children are on a mission from childbirth to be independent and that journey can often challenge their relationship with us. However, their great desire is ultimately to take us with them into adulthood. The thoughts below are an excellent reminder of how valuable we are to our children.
Parents are the original Google. They answer endless questions about the world, from why the sky is blue to why you can't have ice cream for breakfast (even though they secretly wish they could too).
No matter how many times you "decorate" the walls with crayons or bring home a pet frog, parents love you anyway. They're the ultimate cheerleaders, always in your corner.
Parents show you how to be an adult. From tying your shoes to filing taxes, they model the art of surviving and thriving in the grown-up world. Plus, they’re living proof that yes, you can survive without a nap.
Parents are like a safety net in a circus act. When life gets wobbly, they're there to catch you, dust you off, and send you back into the ring, with a little more wisdom each time.
Whether it's a skinned knee or a broken heart, parents are the go-to fixers. They're like emotional band-aids, always ready to make the hurt feel a little less painful with a hug or a cookie.
Parents teach you the difference between right and wrong, like why it's not okay to swipe your sibling's dessert (even if they weren't eating it fast enough).
From cooking a meal to changing a tyre, parents equip you with the skills you need to navigate life. They're the original DIY experts, minus the YouTube tutorials.
Parents can be surprisingly fun. They tell the best (or worst) jokes, make silly faces, and sometimes dance in the kitchen like no one is watching, even when everyone is.
Every now and again, when you feel the fatigue of parenting or think that you are making no difference, keep in mind that parenting is a long-haul process. It is not so much geared to short-term success, but it is more about the ongoing support and unconditional love you show them.
If you are emotionally and physically present for your child, you are a parent with impact.
Gail J Smith
Happy Mother’s Day
We all doubt ourselves as mothers. Are we good enough? Here are ten ways a mother shows love for her children. You are a fantastic mum.
Let’s think about how you, as the mum, are so valuable to your child. Here are ten ways that you show so much love.
Unconditional Love: Mothers show unwavering love and support, teaching their children the true meaning of unconditional love. We love them no matter what!
Incredible Multi-tasking Skills: From juggling schedules to managing household chores, mothers are masters of multitasking, keeping everything running smoothly.
Nurturing Nature: Mothers have a natural ability to nurture and care for their children, providing comfort, guidance, and encouragement every step of the way.
Endless Patience: Despite the chaos of daily life, mothers exhibit remarkable patience, handling tantrums, setbacks, and challenges with grace and understanding.
Superhuman Strength: Whether it's carrying a child for nine months or lifting spirits during tough times, mothers showcase incredible strength, both physically and emotionally.
Role Model Extraordinaire: Mothers serve as powerful role models, inspiring their children to dream big, work hard, and never give up on their goals.
Master Problem Solver: From fixing broken toys to solving complex problems, mothers have a knack for finding creative solutions to any challenge that comes their way.
Unparalleled Sacrifice: Mothers make countless sacrifices for their children, often putting their own needs aside to ensure the happiness and well-being of their family.
Infinite Kindness: With hearts full of kindness and compassion, mothers spread love and kindness wherever they go, making the world a better place for everyone around them.
Eternal Bond: The bond between a mother and child is truly special and unbreakable, filled with moments of joy, laughter, and endless memories to cherish forever.
‘A mother’s love perceives no impossibilities.’
-Cornelia Paddock
Now after Mother's Day what is there to celebrate?
Here is some post-Mother’s Day positive reminders about motherhood.
I say keep the party going by keeping your image above water.
The job of a mother is too complex to put in one sentence or paragraph. It is different for everyone and everyone will respond differently to being a mother. I believe there are some important thoughts you need to keep in mind as you enter the post-Mother’s Day period.
You are human and this means you are allowed to make mistakes. In fact, your child will see the real you by being authentic. That’s all they want anyway.
Being positive with your child all the time is hard work, so if you need a break from being a mum for a short while, take it. In the longer run, you will feel better and be happier. More content women make better mums.
Don’t be too hard on yourself when the day doesn't work out the way you wanted it to. Sometimes, our children will be disappointed and that’s OK. They need to see and learn about the real world, that it doesn’t entirely revolve around them!
Plan each day with yourself included. This could be just a short walk or sipping tea on your own. You have a right to feel content throughout the day.
Remember that you don't have to do everything around the house. The more independent you make your children by giving them jobs, the better they will develop independent skills.
Friends and chats have a great healing capacity. Make sure you allow personal time for chats with good friends throughout the week.
Little treats help to keep up the spirits. Discover a treat that makes you feel good and build it in occasionally. Don’t feel guilty. Children need to see that you need nurturing as well.
Remember that you are working hard to be the best mum. That means that you don’t need to knock yourself out all the time to prove it. Slow and steady nurturing parenting does the job. In the longer term, this is what is remembered and valued.
Your child loves you for who you are. You don't need to keep justifying why you do the things you do, this can get very tiring. Just be content that you are a work in progress as a great mum. That’s good enough.
Finally, keep up your dignity. Tired mums often feel lowly about themselves. A little lipstick and powder and the right t-shirt can lift the spirits for the day.
Happy Mother’s Year 2023-2024.
Think about the value of laughter during lockdown
Victor Borge said,
‘Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.’
Here we are not talking about social distancing. We are talking about mental distancing. Let’s create the shortest distance possible!
When we consciously choose to keep laughter alive in our life, we naturally feel better and connect better to those around. People are attracted to warm and cheerful people. Laughter is life giving.
We know, through research, that laughter is a stress buster and at the moment, hard though it maybe, what we all need is a good injection of laughter in our life.
Children are naturally drawn to being cheerful and happy. So, for them, being in a family that laughs together is a natural and healthy way to live.
If laughter can keep us together, then it makes sense that in these tricky times, we use laughter as therapy. Think about the suggestions that follow to keep the laughter alive in your family.
Use a joke book and each night have some family fun reading out jokes.
Play a joke on your child during the day and surprise them with some laughter.
Watch a funny movie together that brings laughter and cheerful attitudes to the house.
Physical exercise can bring laughter into the home as everyone chats about the fun activities they did on their bike, skateboard etc.
Write little cheery notes and put them under your child’s pillow. This is a wonderful surprise element.
If you have a pet such as a dog at home family fun together can bring laughter to the house.
Play family games. There are many board games etc. that bring laughter and fun to everyone.
Do you have any funny family stories to tell the children? This can often be an entertaining time for all.
Laughter is cheap. It doesn’t cost anything and if we simply look around our home, I am sure you will find reasons to smile and laugh.
Become a witty, fun person around your children. You will get so much positive feedback from engaging with your children in this way. You feel more fully alive when laughing with your children.
Be imaginative. Draw, dance, skip with your children. It brings out the laughter and creativity of the family. This may mean being a little different from the usual person you are, but we are in times where we need to stretch our imagination and accept challenges.
Take care to limit the negative talk. People generally feel better and happier when less negative discussion is around.
Be a little more tolerant when mistakes are made. Less time spent in behaviour management and more time in being happy together makes for a calmer, more cheerful family.
Try noticing less mistakes and problems around the house. This will slow down feelings of anxiety and cheer you up.
These thoughts are all about finding different avenues in which to bring joy and laughter into the home. Every family has their own unique way of laughing and playing together. After all, happiness is a very natural state for a person in which to live. Our physical and mental health is all the better for laughter in today’s unsettling world. See it as another important immunisation against mental deterioration.
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.”
What are we teaching our children?
There is so much we are teaching our children, this is obvious. What we need to occasionally to reflect on is, the incidental things that occur that are noticed and internalised by our children. Keep in mind that we are all part of the great human condition and by this definition, we are not perfect! However, our children are very clever in picking up the incidentals and shifting moods in our behaviour. These are incidents and occasions where we may let our guard down. For some reason, our children are curious creatures when they see how imperfect we are.
I remember, as the school principal, there was a consistent way of operating and the values exposed were to be consistently displayed. Sometimes life is complicated and principals get compromised. Teachers are excellent at building strong, stable authentic relationships with their children, which generally involves a child excusing them when they slip up on occasions. In my experience, it was common for children who had strong relationships with their teachers, to be quite protective of their failures and misadventures.
As a parent, do our children notice our misdemeanours and are they watching to learn all the incidental behaviours they notice in us? The answer I fear is probably yes. They are always checking into see our legitimacy and how this affects them. Certainly, in working with children, it was clear they understood their parents very well.
Consider the following thoughts to help us live with this subtle pressure from our children:
What incidental things that occur are noticed and internalised by our children?
Accept and acknowledge with your child that you are not perfect. In fact, what is ‘perfect’?
Be natural in apologising when you think it necessary. Children really appreciate that you understand that you make mistakes just like them.
Be relaxed in talking to them and when putting down important rules etc. in the home, acknowledge that you just try your best at all times.
Talk about how you can sometimes get tired and let your guard down. This is natural and normal.
Have a laugh with your child when you find yourself not living up to your expectations. This is about showing your human side. We all make mistakes.
Be aware that small ears listen and love to learn more about you in discreet ways. This may mean compromising some feelings at time to give the right message to your child.
Watch the language you use around the child especially when talking about others. Much is revealed to a child when we express our opinions about others.
A child loves the parent who is easy to read and comfortable in how they express themselves. They enjoy the journey of learning more about their parents often through different unexpected experiences. This is often the test of being true to ourselves.
“A sensitive child sees the world through the lens of the child.”