How to Help Your Child Keep Friends: Simple Tips for Parents
Friendships are a big part of growing up. They help kids feel happy, supported, and confident. But keeping friends takes effort, and it’s not always easy. With a little guidance from you, your child can learn how to build lasting friendships and navigate social ups and downs.
Friendships are one of the most important parts of childhood. They help kids feel happy, confident, and supported. But keeping friends isn’t always easy! As a parent, you can help your child build strong, lasting friendships with some simple but powerful steps.
1. Teach the Power of Listening
Encourage your child to really listen when friends talk. It shows they care and helps them understand what their friends are feeling. Practise listening at home, maybe during dinner, ask your child to tell you about their day, then listen without interrupting. The hard part is not to interrupt
2. Model Kindness and Respect
Kids learn a lot from watching you. Show kindness, say “please” and “thank you,” and handle conflicts calmly. When your child sees this, they’re more likely to treat their friends the same way. Children gravitate around calmer, less complicated children.
3. Encourage Sharing and Taking Turns
Playing fair and sharing toys or time helps friendships grow. Role-play sharing scenarios with your child, so they feel confident in real situations.
4. Help Your Child Express Their Feelings
Friends need to know how your child feels. Teach simple words for emotions like “happy,” “sad,” or “frustrated.” This helps kids communicate better and avoid misunderstandings.
5. Support Problem-Solving Skills
When friends disagree, it’s a chance to practice solving problems. Guide your child to find solutions like apologizing, compromising, or asking an adult for help if needed.
6. Create Opportunities to Socialize
Arrange playdates, encourage team sports, or join clubs. The more chances your child has to interact with peers, the easier it is to make and keep friends.
7. Respect Their Friendships
Sometimes kids choose friends who are different from what you expect. Listen and be open-minded, showing respect for their choices builds trust. It is their job to decipher the genuine friends from the not so genuine friends.
Final thought:
Friendships take effort, but with your support, your child can learn how to keep friends and enjoy happy, confident social connections that last. The more they mature, the better they become at choosing friendships wisely.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself”
Helping Your Child Find Balance in their busy life
Too many activities, too much pressure, and too little downtime can leave children overwhelmed. The good news? Balance can be taught. Home can be a space where your child learns to pause, play, and thrive. Read on to discover simple ways to bring more balance into your child’s life.
As parents, we want our children to thrive but sometimes, we accidentally give them too much. Too many clubs, too many lessons, too much screen time, or even too much pressure to “succeed.” The result? Stressed-out children who don’t know how to stop, breathe, or just be. In fact they can feel inadequate if they are not constantly in action. Classrooms are places where children learn how to balance the day between work and play.
But balance is something we can teach. Home life can be built around balance for a child.
Consider:
Spot the Imbalance
Start by observing your child’s week. Are they always rushing from one thing to the next? Is there time in their day for:
• Rest?
• Play (the unstructured, silly, no-goal kind)?
• Movement?
• Stillness?
• Time with you?
How about introducing a nothing day. Here your child can be creative, be still or enjoy not being accountable.
Teach the “Juggle” with Jars
Children are visual. Try this at home:
• Take three jars. Label them Work, Play, and Rest.
• Give your child 10 marbles (or buttons).
• Ask them to drop the marbles into the jars to show how they spent their day.
Most children will drop them all into “Work” (school, homework, chores) and “Play” (devices, sports). "Rest" is often forgotten.
Talk about it:
What could go into the "Rest" jar? Reading a quiet book? Drawing? Sitting in the garden? You’ll be surprised how much this simple activity gets them thinking and talking.
Model the Balance
Children copy what they see. If you never rest, they won’t think it’s allowed. If you always check your phone while talking to them, they learn to do the same.
Try this:
• Announce you're going for a 10-minute walk “to reset your brain.”
• Sit with a cup of tea and say, “I need a moment of quiet today.”
• Say “no” to something and explain why.
It doesn’t have to be perfect it just has to be real. Let them see how just being you is a comfortable space to live in.
Make “Bored” a Good Word
When your child says, “I’m bored,” don’t rush to fix it. Boredom is the starting block for being creative and problem-solving. Let them simply be bored for a while.
Example:
Jack (9) whined for half an hour that there was “nothing to do” one Sunday. His parents didn’t react. Ten minutes later, he’d turned the sofa into a pirate ship with a tea towel on his head.
Boredom worked. A child needs that kind of time to slow down their overthinking and just let it happen.
Balance Looks Different for Every Child
Some kids need quiet to recharge; others need movement. Some love a packed schedule; others melt under pressure. Every child is different and if you have more than one child I am sure you have noticed that already!
Ask regularly:
• “Are you enjoying what you’re doing?”
• “Is there something you’d like to do less of?”
• “Do you feel tired or happy at the end of the day?”
Make sure they are not trying to be overactive to simply prove how capable they are. You love them for just being them. This may mean that the pace is varied for different children in the family.
Balance is a Gift
Balance isn’t about getting everything right. It’s about giving our children the tools to check in with themselves, make choices, and build a life that works for them. It’s not just a childhood skill, it’s a life skill. When a child likes the balance in their life they can really savour different aspects of their world. For example, rest and recreation is as valuable as high level activity.
Talk to your child regularly. It’s important for their mental health
Keep talking with your child. Show them that conversations help solve problems and make them feel better. In this blog, Gail Smith shares why regular conversations are so important for your child’s well-being.
Keep conversations going with your child even if you think they are not listening. Let them know that you are a listener and want everything to be out in the open and frequently discussed amongst you. Let them see that conversations are a great way of dealing with problems and that you feel better when matters are openly discussed.
Regular conversations with your child:
1. Builds Trust and Emotional Safety
When children feel heard, they trust that they can share their emotion without fear of judgement.
Example: A child struggling with bullying feels safe opening up to a parent who listens calmly, instead of dismissing their feelings.
2. Prevents Emotional Suppression
Open conversations help children process emotions instead of bottling them up, reducing the risk of anxiety and depression.
Example: Asking, "How was your day?" allows a child to express frustration over a ` grade rather than holding it in.
3. Develops Problem-Solving Skills
Talking through challenges teaches kids how to handle problems and make decisions.
Example: If a child is upset about a fight with a friend, discussing the issue helps them brainstorm ways to apologize or make amends.
4. Strengthens Parent-Child Connection
Frequent conversations create a strong bond, making children feel supported and valued.
Example: Regular chats during bedtime build a habit of sharing, even when they grow older and face bigger challenges.
5. Detects Early Signs of Mental Health Issues
Talking often allows parents to notice mood changes or troubling thoughts before they escalate.
Example: If a usually cheerful child starts avoiding conversations, this could signal stress or sadness, prompting early support.
“A child really feels supported when a parent uses open communication.”
Keep An Eye On Your Child's Mental Health
Early detection of your child’s mental health can lead to more effective treatment options. If a parent notices their child is unusually withdrawn or anxious, addressing it early can prevent more serious issues like depression or anxiety disorders. Be alert to changed moods.
From time to time check in on your child's mental health. Situations can change quickly for a child such as school issues, friendships etc and parents need to notice if there are shifts in their child's behaviour or general mood. A child's life is very fluid and we need to swim with them in the shifting emotional waters where there are ebbs and flows throughout the years.
Consider:
Early Detection of Issues:
Why it matters: Just like physical health, early detection of mental health issues can lead to more effective treatment.
Example: If a parent notices their child is unusually withdrawn or anxious, addressing it early can prevent more serious issues like depression or anxiety disorders. Be alert to changed moods.
Impact on Academic Performance:
Why it matters: Mental health significantly affects a child's ability to learn and perform in school.
Example: A child struggling with undiagnosed ADHD or anxiety may have trouble focusing or completing homework, leading to poor grades and low self-esteem. Poor performance can have a lot to do with diminishing self-confidence.
Social Development:
Why it matters: Healthy mental well-being is essential for developing strong social skills and forming healthy relationships.
Example: A child with unmanaged social anxiety might struggle to make friends or interact with peers, affecting their social development. Shifts in friendship groups can also impact their emotional well-being and inability to manage bullying.
Preventing Harmful Behaviours:
Why it matters: Unaddressed mental health issues can sometimes lead to harmful behaviours, such as substance abuse or self-harm.
Example: Recognising signs of distress and providing support can steer a child away from coping mechanisms that can be harmful in the long run. Keep an eye on eating patterns as eating disorders can become serious mental health issues.
Building Resilience:
Why it matters: Understanding and managing mental health from a young age helps children develop resilience, which is crucial for coping with life's challenges.
Example: Teaching children healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills can prepare them to handle stress and adversity more effectively as they grow.
A major foundational tool in preventing mental health issues is building in a child a strong sense of self-worth. Being parents who listen well to their children, place no judgement on them and affirm them regularly in a loving way strengthens their sense of self-worth.
Little by little affirm those little successes you see each day in your child. Those little successes become strong foundational blocks for building a pyramid of emotional well being.
-Gail J Smith
Information every parent should know about their child's school
Schools can be complex environments, but staying connected can make navigating them much easier. Gail Smith offers valuable tips to help parents gain a deeper understanding and more rewarding experience of school life.
Every school is different. The culture is different and how a school thinks and operates varies. As a parent, keeping in touch with your child's school, is the key to getting the best from the experience. Here are some ideas facts that you should consider so that you understand and gain a rich experience from the school as a parent.
• Know the daily schedule, including start and end times, and keep track of important dates like holidays, parent-teacher conferences, and special events.
• Understand what subjects are being taught and any key projects or assignments your child will have throughout the year. Teachers will publish all these details often early in the year.
• Get to know your child’s teachers, their teaching styles, and how to contact them for any concerns or questions. Every teacher will have a different style and knowing them will help you understand what they have to say.
• Familiarize yourself with the school’s policies on attendance, discipline, homework, and dress code. A school will always rely on their major policies especially when things go wrong.
• Learn about the extracurricular options available, such as sports teams, clubs, and arts programs, and encourage your child to participate.
• Be aware of any support services the school offers, like counselling, special education, tutoring, and health services.
• Find out how you can get involved, whether through volunteering, joining the PTA, or attending school board meetings. There are many day events across the year and perhaps tapping into these occasions will give you more awareness of school life.
• Know how the school communicates with parents (emails, newsletters, apps) and stay updated on any announcements or alerts.
• Understand the school’s safety protocols, including procedures for emergencies, lock downs, and how they handle bullying.
• Learn about the school’s culture, values, and any unique programs or initiatives they have to support student development.
• Know the details of your child's transportation options, including bus routes, pick-up/drop- off times, and safety rules.
Schools are complex places but when you feel connected to the school, doors are open a lot easier and your knowledge of school life will ease your anxieties when unhealthy rumours spread. It is simply a matter of being in touch across the year and together with your child, enjoying the experience of learning.
“Your child’s school should be a happy learning space for yourself as well as your child.”
Helping our children to love reading
Just as we need a balanced diet for our health, our children need a balance between books and other forms of entertainment. Explore these strategies to help your child develop a love for reading amidst the digital distractions.
The world our children live in today is filled with so much stimulus from television and so many forms of entertainment on social media platforms. It is no wonder reading from a book can seem so mundane and boring. It can be a challenge to excite and motivate some children and therefore not an easy task for parents.
Here are some ideas to encourage and stimulate your child’s interest in reading. We all need to eat a balanced diet and in this case our children need that balanced diet between books and other forms of entertainment.
Consider:
Create a Cosy Reading Nook: Designate a special, comfortable spot in the house just for reading. It should be well lit and very inviting to the child. Fill it with soft cushions, good lighting, and a variety of books. Only use it for this purpose.
Model Reading Behaviour: Let your children see you reading regularly. This sets a positive example and shows that reading is an enjoyable activity. Leave a few books scattered around the house. This gives a strong message that reading is encouraged.
Start a Family Book Club: Choose a book to read together as a family and discuss it. This can be a fun way to bond and share insights about the story. Perhaps it can be read over dinner. This could become a family ritual to read together.
Incorporate Reading into Daily Routines: Integrate reading into everyday activities, such as reading a recipe while cooking, signs while driving, or instructions for a game. Encourage your child to do the reading and to give you guidance from what they have read.
Visit Libraries and Bookstores: Make trips to the library or bookstore a regular family outing. Let your children explore and pick out books that interest them. Spend time together just browsing.
Read Aloud Together: Take turns reading aloud with your child. This can make reading a shared, enjoyable experience and help with their fluency and expression. Also talk about the story together as you each read a section.
Use Technology Wisely: Leverage e-books and reading apps if your child is tech-savvy. Interactive and animated e-books can be particularly engaging for younger children.
Offer a Variety of Reading Materials: Provide access to different genres and types of reading materials - comics, graphic novels, magazines, and newspapers can be just as valuable as traditional books. It is all about the enjoyment of reading. Take care not to influence their preferences.
Set Reading Goals and Rewards: Create a fun reading challenge with rewards for meeting goals, such as stickers for each book read or a special treat after finishing a certain number of books. Celebrate the reading of books in the family.
Create a Reading Schedule: Designate a specific time each day for reading. Consistency can help make reading a habit.
Connect Books with Interests: Find books that align with your child's hobbies and interests. If they love dinosaurs, get them dinosaur books; if they’re into space, find books about astronauts and planets.
Encourage Storytelling: Have your child create their own stories. This can spark an interest in reading as they see the connection between storytelling and books. Invite them to simply make up stories and enjoy listening to them.
Make Reading Interactive: Ask questions about the story, make predictions, and relate the content to your child’s experiences. Engaging with the text makes it more enjoyable and meaningful.
Celebrate Authors and Illustrators: Learn about the people behind the books. Sometimes knowing about the author's or illustrator's life can spark a deeper interest in their work.
If your family is a reading family then it may be an easier process for your child to read with ease and pleasure. Sometimes less motivated children do need a push and to set up routines so that they learn the habit of reading in one form or another. A child exposed to books will at some point come to value reading.
“We read to know we are not alone.”
What do we as parents expect from our children?
Becoming a parent means transitioning into a consultant role for your child as they grow and become more responsible for their own lives. Your steady support and guidance will shape their future significantly. Gail Smith shares some essential considerations for parents as we navigate the challenges that concern us or cause discontent.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to reflect on what we expect from our children. In doing this we can challenge ourselves about how we tackle issues that worry us or make us discontent. Also it encourages us to reflect on our expectations and to question the standards we set for our children.
Consider:
Respect: Parents want their children to treat them and others with respect, including following instructions, listening attentively, and showing empathy. Of course they will learn much about respect from our own modelling.
Responsibility: Parents hope their children will take responsibility for their actions, chores, and commitments, demonstrating independence and accountability. In taking responsibility they will need to be gradually given more independence.
Success: Parents desire their children to succeed in various aspects of life, whether academically, professionally, or personally, achieving their goals and aspirations. Remember to set expectations that are realistic and not simply your dreams. This can be a CHALLENGE FOR SOME PARENTS.
Happiness: Above all, parents want their children to be happy and content, pursuing activities and relationships that bring them joy and fulfilment. By giving them many and varied opportunities to experience life will create a thirst for more, especially in seeking happiness.
Kindness: Parents value kindness and compassion in their children, hoping they will be considerate and helpful towards others, fostering positive relationships and community spirit. This is where good modelling is important. Surround your children with well balanced people as well.
Resilience: Parents wish for their children to develop resilience and perseverance, being able to overcome challenges and setbacks with determination and resilience. If you want them to be risk takers let them solve their own problems and encourage self determination.
Independence: Parents want their children to become independent individuals capable of making decisions, solving problems, and taking care of themselves as they grow older. This requires you the parent to gradually let go and allow your child to make their own mistakes and deal with the consequences.
Communication: Parents appreciate open and honest communication with their children, fostering trust and understanding in their relationship. Therefore be an effective listener and respect their conversations. Try not to judge what they have to say but rather allow them to express their feelings and beliefs openly.
Gratitude: Parents hope their children will be grateful for the love, support, and opportunities provided to them, showing appreciation for what they have and for the efforts of others. For them to show gratitude you will need to be a grateful and humble person yourself.
Health and Safety: Above all, parents want their children to be healthy, safe, and secure, both physically and emotionally, prioritizing their well-being above everything else. You can help here by encouraging your child to be physically active and by building their personal confidence they grow stronger intellectually and emotionally.
As the parent you gradually become a consultant to your child as they grow older and take over their own responsibility for their life. Your strong and consistent presence will have a long lasting impact on your child.
“The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.”
Helping children cope with distressing media
Help your kids understand that the internet is like a tool. It can be used for good or not so good things. Teach them to be in control of what they see and how they use it. With your guidance, they can learn to use social media wisely and understand the digital world better. Gail Smith has some great tips on how to do this.
Addressing distressing media is crucial, especially for parents navigating this digital age with their children. Of course, we need to live in the real world and there has been some very distressing news which needs to be processed with our children in a way that they can understand.
Here are some thoughts on how to educate our children in understanding our modern world where social media can be consumptive:
Establish healthy boundaries around screen time for both yourself and your children. Setting specific hours for media consumption can help mitigate exposure to distressing content. After all, how much media do we need on a daily basis?
Create safe spaces online where children can explore content that is curated and monitored by parents. This could include setting up restricted profiles on streaming services or utilizing parental controls on devices.
Stress the importance of open communication between yourself and your children regarding media consumption. Create a supportive environment where children feel comfortable discussing anything they may find distressing online.
Talk to your child about how media can have confusion and sensationalism built in. Teach children how to critically analyze media content. This includes helping them understand bias, fact-checking information, and recognizing manipulation tactics used in media. It is most important that they learn not to believe everything they hear and see.
Monitor your child’s social media usage and be aware of the platforms they are using. Set privacy settings and discuss appropriate online behaviour with your child.
Prioritize your own well-being when consuming media. Take breaks from news and social media if it becomes overwhelming and engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress relief. This demonstrates to your child that you want and need a balance in your life.
Offer suggestions for alternative activities that you as a family can engage in together that doesn’t involve screens, such as outdoor adventures, board games, or creative projects.
It is important as the parent to model healthy media behaviour for your child. Children often mimic their parents’ habits, so it is essential for parents to demonstrate balanced media consumption themselves. Take care how you talk about the media content in front of your child.
Stay informed about current events but do so mindfully. Consuming excessive news coverage of distressing events can take a toll on mental health, so it’s important to strike a balance between staying informed and protecting one’s well-being.
Have frequent talks about how understanding media is critical to get only the best out of information that is posted in some way.
Involving your child in a busy, active life with sports activities, hobbies etc. throughout the week will give them a very happy lifestyle where the focus is not so much on social media.
When explaining issues to children that have been emblazoned in the news take your time and use language that your child will understand. Sometimes the sensational nature of how words are used can be very intimidating for a child. Check in with them later to see if they understood what you had to say.
Our children live in this digital age and whilst it fills so much of their day they still need to be in control. They need to see it as a tool that be can be used for good and at times not for good. They need to be scrutinizing and be in charge when it comes to deciding how to use it. In this way they are running the show and will be more in control of what they read and how they interpret material. Such maturity will be accelerated with your guidance and direction on how best to be engaged with the digital world.
“Social media is a very, very powerful tool. It also gives power to tools.”
Valuable resources for mastering effective communication with your child
In the hustle of a busy day, we might find ourselves talking quickly and sharply to our children. This can be frustrating for both parents and kids, as everyone wants to be heard and understood. It's normal to feel irritated when we don't get a response or feel like no one is listening. Gail Smith has some great tips to help us support our children and improve our conversations. Learning these skills can make a huge difference in how we communicate.
In the rush of the busy day, we sometimes talk to our children in short sharp bursts. This can be frustrating for the parent and the child, both struggling to be heard and to have their needs met. It is no wonder that we become irritated when we don't get an answer or we feel no one is listening.
Here are some helpful skills that we can use to support a child who needs to be heard. Acquiring these skills can significantly enhance the quality of our conversations.
When a child starts talking and you feel it is important to listen, then attending is a key skill to learn. This involves really being with the child, making appropriate eye contact, being still and focusing on what they have to say. This is all about using the right body language to let your child know that you are really listening. Here you give your total attention to the child.
Silence is a wonderful tool in showing your child that you are really listening. This means no interruptions to their talk and passively hearing what they have to say. Silence can be very powerful in communicating. It is especially helpful if the child is upset, angry or anxious.
As the child talks in order to let them know you are truly listening you can give head nods or perhaps mutter for example, ’Hmm, Really, Yes.” This gives them ongoing reassurance that you are listening and not making any judgements on what they have to say.
Encourage them to keep talking. ‘Would you like to talk more about that?’ This is indicating that you are there to listen and you want them to have every opportunity to talk for as long as they feel necessary. This is very helpful to young children who find it hard to articulate what they have to say.
If you feel your child needs the time to be heard, find a suitable place to have the conversations. Distractions, noise etc. can stop their flow of conversation leading to disappointment and frustration.
Keep to the same level as your child instead of towering over them. This makes them feel that you are genuinely listening.
Have a positive disposition as they talk. This may mean smiling and reassuring them that their feelings are valued.
When talking back use a gentle tone of voice where the child feels that there is no judgement or disappointment.
Finally, you can use active listening. This is picking up on what they see and repeating the essence of their conversation. ‘You said that when you fell on the school yard you felt so sad.’ Picking up the essence of their talk and especially the emotion will give them fuel for talking back with more information.
To help your child after they have disclosed something important and you have listened well, be clear in what you have to say, be correct in your response and always show compassion. In this way you develop trust.
“If you respect your child, then listen to what they have to say.”
Beware the roadblocks to good communication with your child
Have you ever noticed that sometimes our kids seem to tune us out or react in unexpected ways? It might be because we unintentionally create barriers to good communication with them. Discover with Gail Smith some common roadblocks we might unknowingly set up, thinking we're doing what's best for them.
Sometimes we wonder why our children are not listening or are reacting in unacceptable ways to what we have to say and do. Often it's as simple as the fact that we set up roadblocks to good communications with them. We often do this incidentally without any awareness that we are setting up barriers to talking with them without irritation and understanding. Consider below some of the barriers that we can set up often innocently and thinking we are operating in their best interest.
Take care not to be just giving out orders. After a while a child tunes out and the orders fall on deaf ears.
Sometimes we can get so tired that we just give warnings to stop poor behaviour as quickly as possible. If you keep swinging on the gate you will fall over on the concrete and hurt yourself.
As parents we know we have the responsibility of caring but sometimes we think we need to give the solutions to all their problems. How often do you ask others to tell you how to solve your problems.
Be careful with the use of language. When you use word like “stupid' and 'dumb” the child will only here that word and will think that you believe they are dumb. Language is a powerful tool or it can become a weapon. Take care with how you use it.
Try not to probe all the time. When you ask too many questions you will eventually get no response.
Try not to over analyze a child's behaviour. Often it is as simple as a child making a mistake. Move on quickly making it less complicated.
Sometimes we can use sarcasm to ward off a concern they have. Take care not to use adult wit to control conversations with a child. They know that it is a put down.
When we are busy we can change the subject very quickly. Always listen to your child and if busy say that you will talk about their concern later when you have more time. Remember that following up is important.
When we use roadblocks we can easily recognize how a child will shut down and lose an interest in talking to you. We are not about solving our child's problems. We are all about responsible parenting and not being a therapist. We slowly and steadily develop their independent thinking skills. We are an adviser and a wise model. We listen with care and we respect their right to have an opinion.
“A child feels heard when they hear no roadblocks limiting their conversations.”
A Few Tips on keeping a Calm Household
Navigating the hustle and bustle of family life can sometimes leave us feeling worn out and frazzled. Staying calm during the busy week can be hard. Here are some simple tips from Gail Smith to help reduce tension at home with your child.
We all know that busy families make for busy lives which of course leads to tiredness and tension from time to time. It is natural that being calm and steady throughout the busy week can almost become impossible. Below are a few simple tips on reducing weekly domestic tension with your child.
Try to be less a perfectionist. This can make you very unsettled if in a busy week your ideal plan does not go well. Remember you are dealing with children and their lives are messy and changing frequently. Being more flexible and less demanding of expectations on your part will make life easier.
Try to keep to routines and have schedules clearly visible for all to see. A child feels more secure when they know predicable patterns across the week occur. They are more unsettled when change occurs.
Plenty of sleep for everyone in the house is important. You need it as much as your child. Find some personal time in the day, just a few moments that you can call you own. How about that coffee in a cafe for five minutes?
On the weekend check in with your child for the week ahead. Talk about expectations you have and also discuss those days where your child will need to be contributing more. Getting them involved in planning the week ahead is vital for success.
When your child talks to you remember to be an effective listener. This may mean that you say, “I can't talk right now but after school we will sit down and I can listen to what you have to say.” Follow through with this as your child will not forget.
Use bedtime as a time to have more intimate chats with your child. They love to feel special and to know that you are really available.
With younger children talk at a slower pace if you are giving instructions. They will listen and respond better if they understand what you want from them.
During the day keep regular affirmations going. This gives your child reassurance that all is well. 'I love the way you pack your lunch for school. It makes a difference in getting to school on time.'
When having a stressed moment stop and take a deep breath before your respond to your child. It can make such a difference with your response which will carry less frustration to your child.
Try to keep down the clutter in the house. A very cluttered and disorganized environment makes for less calm children.
At the end of a week assess with your child how it all went. Were their positive moments and did you both get the best from the way it was organized? Being reflective may make for a better week next time.
All children work towards independence. From an early age they seek to do things on their own. This actually makes them happier. Consider whether you can give your child more responsibility for themselves. They will love the independence. Don't worry too much when it all goes poorly. Mistakes happen. That is how we all learn.
Be well aware of what is happening at school. There is nothing more frustrating than catching up with news when it is all too late. Read notices, plan ahead for dress up days. Etc. You will enjoy your child's school much more by being engaged.
Homework can be a stressful time for the household. Work out the best time for your child to do homework and have it set up in a comfortable, light filled space. You will be more relaxed knowing that your child is in an optimum environment for homework to be done. Also remember that teachers set homework and that if a child is struggling refer it back to the teacher.
Finally we live in an ever changing world with our child. There are always reasons why change must occur or plans altered due to illness, fatigue etc. Expect the unexpected but don't place the burden on yourself when everything does not go to plan. Flexibility and creativity will get you through those tricky moments.
“A parent who understands the changing nature of family, not only survives but thrives.”
Unlocking Creativity: Fun and Imaginative Activities for Parents to Inspire Their Children
Discover the incredible power you have as a parent to spark your child's imagination and creativity! Join Gail Smith, as she uncovers simple yet effective ways to inspire creativity right in your own home. You'll be amazed at what you can create together!
Be creative with your child. It is a wonderful way to engage and to do things together that are memorable and intellectually stimulating.
Consider:
Embark on storytelling adventures with your child. This could involve creating collaborative stories where each family member adds a sentence or taking turns inventing characters and plot twists. This is great for language development as well.
Provide ideas for artistic exploration, such as setting up a "creation station" with various art supplies and letting your child experiment with different mediums and techniques. It doesn’t need to be tidied up regularly.
Share simple and safe science experiments that you can do with your child at home. From creating homemade volcanoes to experimenting with colour-changing potions, these hands-on activities will spark curiosity and encourage scientific exploration.
As a family go on outdoor nature hunts, where your child can use their senses to explore the natural world around them. Consider creating scavenger hunt lists or nature bingo cards to guide their exploration and encourage observation skills. Give them a magnifying glass to explore what’s in the grass. It is great fun.
There are so many benefits of dramatic play in fostering creativity and imagination. As the parent you can set up themed dress-up corners or provide props and costumes for children to act out their own stories, plays, or adventures.
Consider musical exploration by exposing your child to a variety of musical genres and instruments. From creating homemade instruments to having dance parties, there are endless opportunities for musical discovery and expression.
Share kid-friendly cooking and baking recipes that parents can make with their children. Cooking together not only teaches valuable life skills but also encourages creativity and experimentation in the kitchen. Creating mess can be a healthy thing!
Consider building and construction challenges using materials like LEGO, blocks, or recycled materials. You can challenge your child to build tall towers, intricate structures, or imaginative worlds, fostering spatial reasoning and problem-solving skills. Find a safe and suitable space in the house to
spread out with all the blocks.
As the parent, offer tips for creating imaginative play spaces within the home, such as building forts, creating sensory bins, or transforming cardboard boxes into playhouses. These dedicated spaces provide your child with opportunities for open-ended play and imaginative exploration.
Cultivate a love for reading and storytelling by sharing a variety of books and stories with your child. Engage your child in discussions about characters, settings, and plot lines, inspiring their imagination and creativity. Try dramatizing sections of the book.
It is amazing how you the parent can inspire your child to be imaginative and creative. Look within your own home to find ways and means to be creative. You do not need to look far.
“A creative, imaginative child has an insatiable appetite for learning.”
A few tips to keep the household happy
We all want a happy and contented home, but we also know how quickly a peaceful home can turn into a tense one. Gail Smith has some practical tips that could help keep your household a happy and safe environment for your children.
We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.
Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.
Consider:
keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.
Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?
Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.
Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.
Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.
At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.
Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.
Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.
Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.
Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.
Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.
Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.
These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.
“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”
Build self confidence in your child. You can make a big difference.
Empowering your child with self-confidence is like giving them the keys to steer their own life's journey. Dive into Gail Smith’s tips for fun and effective ways to nurture and boost your child’s belief in themselves.
Never underestimate the difference you can make for your child’s self confidence. Your child trusts your judgement and above all believes in you as their mentor and life support. They take what you say very seriously and need your reassurance. Here are some examples of how to keep up the important role of boosting their self confidence.
Encourage your child to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Whether it's mastering a new skill, completing a task independently, or showing kindness to others, take the time to celebrate their successes.
Provide specific and genuine praise for your child's efforts and accomplishments. Instead of just saying "good job," highlight what they did well and why it matters. They need to understand why they are receiving the praise, so label it.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk by affirming their strengths and abilities. Tell them how you like to hear them talk about their achievements out loud.
Help your child set realistic goals that they can work towards. Break larger goals into smaller steps and celebrate each milestone. This helps build a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Also they need to receive regular reassurance especially younger children.
Encourage your child to take healthy risks and step out of their comfort zone. Whether it's trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or making new friends. Teach them that making mistakes is part of life.
Give your child opportunities to make decisions and choices independently. Whether it's choosing what to wear, what to eat for snack, or what game to play, they will be more personally satisfied and more engaged in activities etc. if they take responsibility.
Teach your child resilience by helping them bounce back from setbacks and failures. Encourage them to learn from mistakes, problem-solve, and persevere in the face of challenges. Talk about how you do this in your life.
Be a positive role model for self-confidence by demonstrating confidence in yourself. Show your child how to handle challenges and how to embrace your strengths and weaknesses. Be authentic when you talk about yourself and all your foibles.
Above all, provide your child with unconditional love, acceptance, and support. Let them know that you believe in them, no matter what, and that you are always there to help them succeed.
You love them for who they are and in all circumstances.
Building self confidence in your child is all about teaching them that they can confidently be in charge of their own lives as time progresses. Here we are building emotional intelligence.
“Confident, happy children feel good about themselves and achieve well. It’s natural.”
The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image
In today's world, our children can face many challenges when it comes to body image. It's important to help them develop a positive view of themselves. Gail Smith explains why this is so crucial and offers tips on how you can support your child in this process.
As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.
Consider the following suggestions:
Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and
behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about
how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very
comfortable in your skin.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-
acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather
than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about
yourself is so important.
Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of
nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and
getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise
self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body
beautiful image.
Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and
how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical
thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an
important message.
Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.
Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about
themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the
joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or
performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.
Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels
accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and
provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make
your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.
Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,
intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a
strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than
superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.
Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative
body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and
influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave
healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and
hygiene.
If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek
professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image
and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves
especially when they enter teenage years.
Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!
“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”
Helping your child learn to read
When a child struggles with reading, it can really hold them back. Their confidence takes a hit, and they might start feeling like they're not as good as other kids. Discover some fun ways to teach reading with Gail Smith and help your child become a better reader!
Recent surveys have claimed that one in three children are struggling to read. Without the gift of reading, life for a child begins to shut down and their connection to all that happens at school is limited. Confidence declines rapidly and personal self worth suffers as well. A child who cannot read is very much a disadvantaged child.
There are many way you can help your child to read. There are many styles of teaching reading and as the parent you can make quite a difference to your child’s ability to read.
Consider the following:
Be a reader yourself. Model the fact that you enjoy reading and it is important in your life.
Place books, journal articles all around the house. Make it visible that reading is a way of life. Make it a print rich home. There are some tools in technology that can help.
Read to your child each day. Most parents enjoy reading at bedtime as it is such a warm and inviting time to be around your child. Ask question when reading a book. Listen to their answers and talk about the interesting words.
Read segments out of the newspaper and ask your child to cut out letters and words. This can be a fun activity.
Have a word a day or a week that you learn and use together as a family.
Play scrabble with your child or other word games that are available. There are many resources in this area.
Invite your child to read to you. Sometimes a family can have a book they are reading together. Each night at dinner perhaps each child reads a little.
Label in your young child’s room all the objects you can see. This could be bed, table, lamp etc. have fun with your child learning all the words. Play games to memorize high frequency words.
There are some excellent phonetic charts that you can get in various educational stores. Display these around the house and refer to them from time to time.
For younger children use songs and nursery rhymes to build phonetic awareness.
Play word games in the car or at home.
Letter magnets are fun with younger children.
There are some tools in technology that can help where children are regularly rewarded for completing activities.
Make it fun but keep up the fun regularly. The school is working hard using their initiatives and skill to formally teach reading. Your job is to support their work and tap into the teacher to see if they have any recommendations to specifically support your child.
“Once you can read you are liberated from ignorance and can breathe in new life at each read.”
A few good tips when managing your child.
We are all learning how to parent daily. It keeps evolving as new experiences come our way. Nothing is constant as our children develop and change over the years. Read on for some reflections on what works well when engaging with your child.
We are all learning how to parent on a daily basis. It keeps evolving as new experiences come our way. There is nothing that is constant as our children are developing and changing over the years.
Here are some reflections on what really works well when engaging with your child.
Always respect them and let them know they are valued no matter how old they are.
When you give consequences, be clear about them and ensure they are in proportion to what the problem was about.
Always consider negotiating with them so that they feel that they have been heard. Giving a little every so often reaps many benefits.
Your child needs frequent validation and reassurance that they are loved.
We often talk a lot as a parent. Practise listening and really hearing what they have to say. Be patient and still when listening.
Encouraging independence slowly and steadily builds their confidence and feelings of self-worth. They can fail without fear of needing reprisal.
Put reasonable structures and routines in place.
Be authentic. Let them see the real you with all its success and foibles.
Practices that should be avoided:
Name-calling and sarcasm. Words are powerful tools or weapons
Rules that have no real purpose. A child needs to understand why a rule is in place.
Too much control and too many noes.
Be careful with put-downs. Children have a long memory.
Take care not to overprotect. The apple does not fall far from the tree anyway.
Too many outbursts of anger around your child. This can send them into silence around you.
In a perfect world, we would not have to think about our parenting. However, we are human, make mistakes and need to keep learning.
The best parenting is when you are always open to change and ready to learn.
‘The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.’
-O A Battista
Have you ever heard of the imposter syndrome?
Impostor Syndrome can isolate you from engaging with others. It makes you doubt your worthiness. Read on for some tips to stop these feelings in your children.
It can creep up on you quickly and before you know it you are a victim of it. It’s that nagging feeling that of course you are not good enough and people will find out about you soon enough. It makes you feel vulnerable and not worthy. It is quite a nasty
Imposter syndrome can indeed be damaging, but parents can play a crucial role in helping their children recognize and cope with it.
Here are six ideas with examples for parents to teach their children about imposter syndrome:
Promote Self-Awareness:
Example: Ask your child about their feelings and experiences. Say, "Have you ever felt like you didn't belong or that you weren't good enough? It's okay to feel that way sometimes, and we can talk about it. Those feelings will trick you easily into believing you are just not good enough.”
Normalize Imperfection:
Example: Share your own experiences of self-doubt and how you overcame them. Say, "Even grown-ups sometimes feel like they don't know what they're doing, but we learn and improve as we go along." Talk about the time you had self-doubt and how you worked it through. What clever strategies did you use?
Highlight Effort and Growth:
Example: Praise your child for their hard work and efforts rather than just their achievements. Say, "I'm proud of how you worked on this project, even if the outcome wasn't perfect. You're learning and growing, and that's what matters." Talk about how the effort and the journey was a success in its own right.
Encourage Self-Compassion:
Example: Teach your child to be kind to themselves. Say, "It's okay to make mistakes. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend when they make a mistake." Talk about how mistakes are part of the growth process and we all make them.
Set Realistic Expectations:
Example: Help your child set achievable goals and expectations. Say, "Let's set goals that challenge you but are still doable. That way, you'll feel more confident in reaching them." Be realistic about what is possible and celebrate as goals are reached.
Focus on Strengths and Talents:
Example: Encourage your child to recognise their strengths and talents. Say, "You have unique qualities that make you special. Let's talk about the things you're really good at and proud of." Focus on their personal strengths. The things that make them unique. Highlight how they make a difference.
By addressing imposter syndrome with these strategies and examples, parents can empower their children to develop a healthy self-image, embrace challenges, and build resilience in the face of self-doubt which can be particularly overpowered during adolescence.
‘Self-doubt can be destructive for our children. Keep massaging their sense of self-worth and reminding them how society is richer for having them.'
-Gail J Smith
Careful about jumping to conclusions
We all tend to jump to conclusions from time to time. I believe it is part of our mental defence against getting hurt in any way. When we do this in front of our children, we teach them that a quick reaction is the best and most likely accurate response, which we know often is not. Read on for some tips to help us to stop jumping to conclusions and teaching our kids by example some better options.
How often do we immediately have an answer for something? Sometimes when we hear news that can be unsettling, we can spontaneously jump to conclusions. Often this can lead us straight to the negative, and we skip the whole idea of looking at the issue rationally and logically. We all tend to do this from time to time. I believe it is part of our mental defence against getting hurt in any way.
When we do this in front of our children, we teach them that a quick reaction is the best and most likely accurate response.
Consider:
When we feel like jumping to conclusions, a good response is simply to slow down, take a breath and reflect before saying too much. Remember what we say are powerful messages to our children.
Sometimes your child might hear about something happening at school and immediately jump to a negative conclusion for them. This is a great opportunity to teach them to stop, take a breath and talk about the issue. After a discussion, the issue often does not seem so bad and rational conversation can happen.
Consider just learning to stop and think before jumping to a conclusion. It is all about training yourself to slow down and reflect. Initial silence, rather than a quick response, allows you time to think it through more carefully. Your child will get to know that this is how you respond to news. You carefully process it and then talk about it.
When you jump to conclusions, it can often lead to wrong assumptions that require you to reverse your thinking. However, in the interim, you have made statements that may have been better left unsaid. Using the skill of stopping and thinking first, shows your child that being cautious before interpreting something is the best and least harmful way to go.
Jumping to conclusions is all about feeling that the worst is about to happen. This is anxiety, and we need to train ourselves to stop thinking the worst all the time. Our children need to see that the worst is not always the case, and through simple reflection, we can rationalise things better.
Finally, keep the knee-jerk reactions to a minimum. Train yourself to feel calmer and, above all show your child that all is not negative when you take a good hard look at it. The world is still a beautiful place.
‘Snap judgements often lead to regrets for those whose only exercise is jumping to conclusions.’
Recite... Piccsy .com
A few tips to get you started in term four
The school year is quickly coming to a close. Here are a few parental tips that can assist your child with their final term of the year. Read here for more information.
This is quite a special term in the school life. There is generally a very comfortable atmosphere in each classroom. It is also a term that talks about putting closure on the school year and that can come with excitement, anticipation or some anxiety about letting go of what they have built up all year.
Here are some thoughts about the business of term four that you may find helpful:
• Teachers come back to term four with plans of finally testing the children. October is a time when this may start and teachers will be now preparing for those final tests that will be the backbone of your child’s school report. If you are planning to be away, best to talk to your teacher about their testing plans.
• Some children can become a little anxious as there is much talk about change for the new school year, class lists, being with friends and leaving their teachers. Also there can be rumours about who is leaving and discussion that is not healthy about what teachers you should not get for the new year. Try to avoid any negative talk around the school and reassure your child that the best will be put in place for the new year. Anxious talk leads to anxious thoughts.
• Term four is also a celebratory term and there will be parties and fun activities planned for the school and class. Keep in the loop as to what is happening at the school and how you can be part of the end of year functions. After all, the school is an important part of your life as a parent.
• Keep the conversation going at home about the change that will come at the end of the year. Some children need to be given more reassurance that the change will be a good thing and that they will grow from the experience.
• Towards the end of the year some children become anxious that they may not be placed in the same class as their best friends. Here I would recommend talking to your teacher about this issue as in many cases a change is exactly what may be needed and your teacher may have very good reasons why this is the case.
• Avoid writing letters to the school about why your child should be with a certain friend or teacher. Conversation is the best way to go forward and the teacher can give you a fuller understanding of the best placement for your child. This means placing trust in the school. They understand so well the dynamics of a classroom.
• As the term progresses, talk to your child about how they want to farewell the year at school. Perhaps writing letters to friends and teachers. It is a wonderful time to reflect on the year and to be grateful for all the positive things that have happened. This is all about teaching your child to be reflective and say farewell gracefully.
• Parent teacher interviews will be important if the school holds them. Write down all the questions you have and bring along your child to the interview. It is a very successful way of formally thanking the teacher for the year spent with your child. It will also help you put closure on the school year which has had a very big impact on your life.
Enjoy the term it will be a busy one and it will go quickly. Just keep talking to your child about how they are feeling with regard to the closure of the class and the prospect of change. Affirm their great efforts of completing yet another school year. Their end of year feelings should be a mixture of excitement, anticipation with a little bit of expected anxiousness about the unknown. This is a healthy mix!
Finally this quote from A. A. Milne is worth talking to your child about:
‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’
‘What feels like the end is often the beginning.’
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