Learning about balancing holidays and school terms

As the holidays are upon us, many parents are juggling that tricky balance between school responsibilities and the joyful chaos of free time. It’s a familiar challenge: how do we let our children enjoy the magic of the season while helping them stay steady and settled at school?

Here’s what might help:

Keep to a Simple Rhythm (but loosen the reins)

Children thrive on routine, but the holidays bring excitement, visitors, and later bedtimes. That’s okay! Try to keep a gentle rhythm where possible, especially around sleep and meals, but give your child permission to enjoy the special moments too. Flexibility doesn't mean chaos; it means adjusting to the moment.

Talk About What’s Coming Up

A wall calendar or simple weekly planner can work wonders. Mark school events (like birthdays, end-of-term parties) and holiday treats (visits to pools, relatives friends, etc.). When children know what’s ahead, they feel calmer and more in control.

Let School Be a Safe Anchor

During the holiday time, school can become a secure anchor point, a place that feels familiar and steady. Reinforce this at home: “You’ve got a fun day at school next term,” or “Let’s make sure we shop for what you need in term two so that you are well prepared.”

Avoid Over-packing the Weekends

It’s tempting to say yes to every invitation, but downtime matters. Children need unstructured time to play, be quiet, and process all the extra stimulation. Protect a few hours of calm here and there—it’s good for you too.

Big Feelings Might Show Up

The run-up to the holidays can stir up excitement, nerves, or even anxiety. Your child might be more tired, clingy, or irritable and that’s all normal. Rather than fixing the feelings, try naming them: “It’s a lot at the moment, isn’t it?” That small recognition goes a long way. Some children don't cope well with constant change and may have settled well into school and now need to adjust to holidays.

One Last Thought

The holidays are magical, but they don’t need to be perfect. It is a time for rest and recovery with an awareness that school will be coming up in a few weeks. Keeping your child's eye on the ball in the understandings of how a school year works helps them cope well.

Practical tips for parents to help their children develop executive function skills

We are always keen to help our children improve their learning capacity at school. There are some practical and useful ways we can support them in this area. Many of the things you currently do may be also useful in supporting your child’s learning. Consider the ideas below that can all operate from the home environment. Perhaps you are currently using these techniques as part of your routine?

Create Daily Routines and Visual Schedules

• Why: Routines build predictability, helping children develop organisation and time management skills.

• How: Work with your child to create a visual schedule for school days, including tasks like homework, chores, and downtime. Use calendars, to-do lists, or apps that show progress, such as a checklist where they can cross off completed tasks.

Encourage Breaks and Time Management.

• Why: Children learn to manage their focus and energy better when they alternate between work and rest. We all need to learn the balance.

• How: Teach them to study for 25-minute blocks followed by 5-minute breaks (Pomodoro technique). Use timers to keep track, making it easier to stay focused and avoid burnout.

Use Games and Activities to Strengthen Working Memory

• Why: Strong working memory helps children hold and use information for tasks like following instructions and solving problems.

• How: Play memory-boosting games such as card-matching games, Simon Says, or apps designed to challenge working memory (e.g., puzzles or brain-training games).

Model and Teach Self-Regulation Strategies

• Why: Self-regulation helps children manage emotions and impulses, crucial for staying on task and following through on assignments.

• How: Practice mindfulness techniques together, such as deep breathing or counting to ten. Encourage them to pause before reacting impulsively to frustration or distractions.

Promote Independence Through Goal Setting and Reflection

• Why: Setting goals fosters accountability and helps children develop problem-solving skills.

• How: Start with small, achievable goals (e.g., “Complete maths homework by 5 PM”). Afterwards, discuss what worked and what could improve. This reflection builds self-awareness and teaches them to adjust their strategies over time.

These tips provide hands-on ways for parents to nurture their child’s executive function skills, making academic tasks easier and improving school performance. You will enjoy being actively involved with them and demonstrating how you also value ways to improve your ongoing learning.

“The wider the range of possibilities we offer children, the more intense will be their motivations and the richer their experiences.”

— Reggio Emilia

Let's get our kids involved in sport and fitness

As a family you can have quite an influence on your child developing a love for physical activities and sport. Your home can become an active environment where sport and fitness are highly valued as lifestyles. As a result, your child will see that enjoying and participating in sport is a way of life.

Consider:

Be Active Together: Set aside time for family activities like biking, hiking, or playing catch. Seeing you enjoy physical activity will inspire them to join in.

Find Their Interest: Expose them to various sports and activities to see what they enjoy most. Whether it is soccer, swimming, or dance, finding something they love increases their motivation. They will one it if they choose it!

Celebrate Efforts, Not Just Wins: Praise their participation and effort in sports, not just victories. This builds confidence and demonstrates simply the joy of being involved.

Create a Fun Environment: Make physical activity fun with games and playful challenges. Organize neighbourhood play dates or mini-tournaments with their friends. Use your backyard for sporty games with balls. Netball rings etc.

Set a Routine: Incorporate regular physical activity into their daily schedule. Consistency will breed more interest in repeating the activities.

Limit Screen Time: Encourage breaks from screens by setting specific times for physical activities. This can be all part of your weekly home routine.

Involve Their Friends: Arrange play dates or group activities with their friends. Children are more likely to engage in sports if their friends are participating too.

Join a Local Team or Class: Sign them up for local sports teams or classes. Being part of a team provides structure, social interaction, and a sense of belonging, which can be very motivating. Share in the sports activities by being a coach or becoming a member of the club etc.

Set Goals and Track Progress: Help them set achievable goals and track their progress. Celebrate milestones, no matter how small, to keep them motivated and focused. Smaller and more frequent goals are the best.

Active family conversation: Be a family that enjoys talking about sports. Celebrate some great achievements that you hear about such as the Matildas and Australia winning international events etc.

Think about cultivating good habits

As a family, we are busy doing many things across the week. Some things are repetitive and some are simply done once or twice. We also practise certain rituals as a family. This may include being pedantic about having a meal together, watching a program together, attending family functions etc. Every family will set up routines and schedules that are very specific to them across the year.

This article is to invite us to reflect on cultivating good habits with our children. They could be simple habits or more complicated ones, but the message is all about conditioning your children to savour and value good habits that they take with them for life.

We can teach these good habits slowly and steadily over the years. They simply require repetition and your child needs to see how you value such habits that enrich your life. Once a child sees the value in the habit and learns to enjoy the experience, it will often stay with them as a useful tool for life.

Consider:

• Tell your child what you really enjoy. For example, do you enjoy planting your own vegetables? If so, teach them how and what you do. Give them exposure to that often and share the joy of sharing your own vegetables.

• If sport and fitness are important aspects of your life, your child will enjoy being part of that self-discipline and sharing in the exercise.

• Your passion and the demonstration of your passion will have an impact on your child. Use it wisely and often. Talk about it and celebrate what habits work for you.

• Remember you are a coach and your child may listen and decide that such a passion or habit does not suit them. Accept the results and be patient. It is amazing how much subliminal learning is held in store.

• How you work will be another example of developing life habits. Talk to your child about what drives your passion in your work and how you best like to work.

• A child will be more inclined to listen when they see how you enjoy something, but place no expectations on them to be or to do the same. Take care to be a model that enjoys what you do and is simply happy to share your knowledge and experience.

• If you have a habit that you value, be consistent with it, this gives it credibility and shows your determination. A child will remember this even though they may not immediately adopt the habit.

• When you have a good habit, remember that when your child adopts it, there will always be room for improvement and your child may wish to reshape the habit. Roll with the changes and let them see how you value their contributions.

• Routines are a great way to teach good habits. A routine is secure and a child knows that boundaries and limits give them a form of reassurance. This is very comforting for most children. Involve your child in setting routines. This way they own the process more and the likelihood of turning goals into lifelong habits is greater.

• Developing good habits is essential for our health. They give direction, reassurance and support better mental health. Achieving and managing lifestyle goals have a better chance when a child sees the regularity of good habits happening at an earlier age.

• Consider starting with very simple habits. Initially, children need to feel that setting up good habits is simple. It is all about developing an easy, enjoyable habit that can then become a life habit.

• Remember to reward along the way. We all need consistent encouragement as we progress. Also, keep the experience positive throughout the entire process of teaching and modelling good habits.

• Be realistic with your expectations. In developing good habits, everything has to be within reason and age-appropriate.

• Have your ground rules expressed with strength and with compassion. Ground rules that work for the whole family are also an excellent way of developing good habits. For example, how about the rule of being on time for the family meal?

• Being involved in your child’s life is a sure way of being a successful model demonstrating how good habits work for you. A child respects and values parents who are actively interested in them.

There are many examples of setting good examples such as demonstrating good manners, caring for elders, showing respect for others etc. The important factor is to be consistently living out those habits in your own life. The example is the key for the child.

All in all, let them have a voice and invite their thoughts and ideas of the family habits set up over the years. The more they feel they have a voice, the greater they will own good habits and build these for themselves their own story.

         ‘We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.’                   

         -Will Durant                                                                          

9 ideas to get the term off to a good start

Term two begins in school with a whole different feel. By now there is a general expectation that relationships have formed in the classroom and that children have a good understanding of where they sit with their teacher. Not to say that this is still a work in progress and children need to feel secure and valued over the school year. Sometimes, with more vulnerable children, that can take some time to develop.

1. Routines should be well set up at home. This should especially apply to before-school routines and homework patterns. Providing such an order does keep children busy and focused. This reduces small anxieties about school that can creep up, particularly in the morning.

2. Every now and then check in with your child that they are keeping in touch with their teacher. A measure of this is usually that they talk about them at home. If you have concerns, talk to your child and follow up with the teacher. They need to be kept in the loop.

3. Routines are well underway in a classroom. Children know the routines, the regular test patterns and the extras that are built into the day. Chat about how their day works. This shows interest and that you have up-to-date information.

4. The teacher will have set expectations of how the children should work by now. It is important that your child understands and is in the swing of following the routines of the school day. A chat at home is also helpful here.

5. Sometimes, with younger children, fatigue can set in and occasionally you may hear ‘I don’t want to go to school.’ Sometimes it comes in the form of stomach aches etc. Here it is important to be strong and keep up with regular school attendance. Research shows that more and more absences from school becomes a habit and has a significant impact on learning.

6. Try to keep up with parent nights, sports days etc. I know the year gets complicated but your continual, ongoing presence in their school life, keeps their optimism up for the year. It can wain once the weather gets colder and days darker.

7. As the winter sets in and the children seem less engaged, maybe this could be the time to throw in some treats or simply reduce duties etc. A little lighter period on everyone can ease the winter blues.

8. Keep up the important family rituals such as having meals together. Such regularity helps everyone feel consistently connected and necessary.

9. Bedtime rituals are important as the year rolls on. Children enjoy that time to often disclose concerns or simply feel connected in a special way to their parents.

Finally, the school year can be challenging for some children. It can also put undue strain on a family that is busy and has a range of expectations. As a parent, keeping the happy momentum is what it is all about. This may need some adjustment and maybe adaptation from time to time. It may also require that you check in with your own needs across the year. Your mental health has a direct impact on the well-being of your children.

         ‘One way to keep up the momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.’

 -Michael Korda

Be confident as a parent you have what it takes

By nature of being a parent, you come with many capabilities. It is easy to underestimate how skilled you are, but by nature of being an adult, you have already learnt many skills that can be translated into useful tips for your child. A parent who feels confident about their skills gives a strong message to their child and this feeds into successful parenting. Confidence breeds reassurance in others.

It is also natural to feel anxious about providing the best advice and council to your growing child. After all, the world they are entering has altered from your world and the skills they need have shifted from the demands and expectations placed on you whilst growing up.

Here are a few thoughts on feeling and growing confident in being the best parent possible:

• Never underestimate your child. Understand that they have special gifts that are unique to them and that we should focus on all that makes them special and unique. Consider that they may not understand you, but your task is to understand them and respect what it is that they want. This can be difficult, but to understand them better you need to understand their world. You have more confidence in supporting your child when you really feel you know them.

• Take care not to compare. Each child is an individual and thinks and processes quite differently. We need to understand how they think and what drives their world. The more we show respect and understand our child, the greater union between you and your child.

• The education of your child takes such a priority. Know what your child is learning. Be part of that journey. Show interest and be available when and if they need your support. Learning is a lifelong journey and it happens in many ways. Your child needs to see that you are open to learning yourself and enjoying their journey through their schooling years. Don’t be anxious about what you know and what you have to offer. You have much to offer!!!

• Know that learning more about parenting is what all parents can benefit from. Read books on parenting. Look up journal items etc. Gain information and be an ongoing learner in the field of parenting.

• Find creative ways to be family. Real learning comes from joint experiences. Rock climb together. Kayak as a family. Keep the adventure coming. Take a few risks together. This always strengthens the bonding and builds family confidence.

• An important and easy way to parent well is to set up stable routines. Here, I refer to meal times, chores, morning expectations etc. Routine gives you clear directions and everyone knows what the expectations are for all. Start early when the children are little.

• You know your child very well. Have faith in your gut and intuitive sense. Parents have a natural sense when it comes to intuitive matters. Rely on your good sense when talking and negotiating with your child. But be an effective listener!

• Be natural and accept your mistakes. Children respect you when you show your human face and act in an authentic way. Nothing is gained by false confidence or bravado. Show them it is OK to make a mistake and that you can grow and learn from making mistakes. You will be less anxious about making errors when you accept that making mistakes is a normal part of parenting.

• Being a strong, active presence in the life of your child is a powerful way to parent well. Never underestimate that such a presence presents confidence and reassurance with all its foibles and successes.

• You will see many models of parenting over the years. Some will come with outstanding qualifications and some will challenge you especially when your child says: ‘Mary’s parents let her go to the party!’

Don’t be put off by all the models of ‘would be’ great parenting. You are the parents. You are the rock and you have such sensitivity to your child, that can only be understood by the intimacy of being their parent. Despite the fact that you may not have all the answers, you are there for all the right reasons. Just ensure that you listen effectively and are prepared to appreciate other ways of seeing the world. With confidence, you are in the best position to deal with many and varied matters of childhood.

Over the years in my role as Principal, I saw many families crossing my door. It was always a joy to observe families who were closely bonded by the nature of who they were. These families enjoyed being part of their family where expectations were normal, understanding and tolerance strong and no undue pressure appeared to bother them. Family for them was a natural process, with all its foibles and successes. Being family shouldn’t be complicated and above all you, the parent have much to offer your fledglings.

         ‘Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed in him first.’

                                                                                           - Pinterest

Do you have plans for a fresh start in the brand new year?

Why not? There are many who use this time of the year as a time to reflect on what new initiatives they would like to start. The warmth of Summer days and the feeling of rest and recuperation can easily put in a new zest to the new year. Perhaps you are thinking about setting up healthier routines, changing work patterns etc. All is possible if the desire is strong and the determination is solid.

Your child should be also considered in setting up healthier routines. Each year as they grow there are new challenges, they will also experience changing growth curves intellectually, emotionally, physically and socially. Building a stronger family around routine and working towards ongoing improvement is the key.

Consider:

• Have a family discussion about introducing some simple changes and improvements at home. This could be all about the kitchen or simply a discussion about what we can do to make our busy family life easier.

• Shaking off old habits can be difficult. Many of our habits are ingrained and will take some time to change. Try changing long term habits slowly. Don’t rush otherwise it is very comfortable and easy to slip back into old ways. Let your child know that you are slowly working to change a bad habit or simply to improve one.

• Some children find it helpful to write down their ideas for change. Talk to them about their plan but encourage them to start slowly. Affirm them when they show signs of some effort in making changes.

• There are many new experiences about to happen for your child in the new year. This may include a new teacher, new friends, different curriculum challenges, new buildings in which to become familiar. Talk about what they may need to change or perhaps adapt a new way of thinking for this new year. Encourage them to think about the fresh start that will need some adjustment. Perhaps they struggled with their classmates last year. What habits can they develop to start the school year well with friends?

• Be realistic when thinking about setting up new pathways for change. Start to become mindful of those habits that you want to change. Think about why they are comfortable and why they are causing you some concern? Reflect on those particular patterns you want to change with your child. Be inclusive and ensure that they are open to your ideas.

• When discussing with your child the possibility of change, don't forget to include all the positive experiences they had last year that made a difference. Perhaps it was a year when they learnt how to make new friends etc. Build the foundation that increases our strengths, working on habits to improve is a natural process.

• Children love to feel excited and anticipate all the good things that are ahead for them in the new year. Here is a chance to talk about the great adventures to come. For example, they may be looking forward to school camp. Talk about what is a positive habit to get ready for camp. It’s all about building that foundation that is strong and positive.

• Keep a simple list on the fridge of some positive changes that you want to make and, of course, your child can include their plan. This gives you a chance to chat about them from time to time. Younger children can colour in their plans, some may put their thoughts in a box and bring them out when a habit has changed.  Have some fun with it. You are basically encouraging positive change which helps them grow stronger in so many ways.

Finally, your child is listening and learning from you. They are in tune with how you think and what habits are important in your life. Giving them guidance around building new habits and reflecting on that change is healthy. It’s all about teaching them that growth. in many ways, comes from such change.

              ‘Successful people are simply those with successful habits’

                                                                                  -Brian Tracey

The value of putting structure into a child’s life

We all love some routine in our life. This gives us predictability and reassurance. We grow familiar with routine and we can rely on its regularity. Having said this, I would be the first to say introduce variety and flexibility into a child’s life. They need to create and explore outside the routine of everyday life. Being creative, stretching the imagination takes them into new territories of growth on so many levels. They also start to value being a risk-taker.

So, I have said it, providing variability is important for a child’s growth. This article is now a little in defence of routine and structure.

Learn how to provide the balance and choose occasions to allow both systems to thrive.

In a child’s life, they need periods to be calm and stable. They need predictability and this certainly comes with putting in place some suitable structures and boundaries. When a child’s world is turned upside down through, for example, family crisis the first thing they often crave is routines and boundaries. They are comforting and reassuring.

At the beginning of each school term, children love being back in the predictability of classroom routine. Here they can evaluate themselves and measure success more easily. There is a comfortable familiarity and measurability about the classroom.

In working with children who were having some anxiety issues, it was common practice to keep the environment in which we chatted consistent. It was also important that I maintained my usual predictable tones and worked in a familiar way with the child. These structures acted as a safe and predictable boundary in which to engage. The minute I stepped out of these boundaries, the child would become confused and struggle in responding to me comfortably.

Here are a few thoughts on putting boundaries and structures in place.

• Ensure the boundary is realistic and that the child understands the purpose of the boundary.

• Set up weekly routines at home with regard to basic issues such as homework routines, reading in bed, eating between meals etc. These can be discussed regularly with the family and renegotiated where necessary.

• Where possible invite your child into setting up routines for themselves. It is always much more likely to be successful if it comes from the child.

“What time do you think is reasonable for bed? Let’s discuss the jobs you have to do before bed to work out bedtime.”

• Discuss some routines you have set up for yourself. Talk about why the routine helps you in different ways.

• Talk about the structures that are set up in the classroom. This is an excellent way of talking about the value of structures.

“So, your teacher lets you eat snacks ten minutes before the bell. Why does she do this?”

• Pets are an excellent opportunity for a child to develop important structures that impact on a pet’s quality of life.

• If you are planning a holiday discuss with your child some structural issues that need to be considered.

“We are going camping soon, let’s make a list of important aspects of the trip that need to be considered.”

• Setting boundaries, establishing routines ensures that in the life of the child they are familiar with predictable parts of their life.  They can rely on knowing what will happen under certain conditions. The trick is to find a balance between providing structure and allowing the child to creatively explore the great unknown.

Too much controlling structure will stifle a child just as too much open-ended scenarios provides insecurity for the child. Learn how to provide the balance and choose occasions to allow both systems to thrive.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.”

— Aristotle  

Routine leads to developing life habits.

Some people just love routine. Others struggle with keeping up the pace of routine. We are all different in managing our lifestyles. Whatever the style you have adopted, consider the fact that you are the modelling patterns for your child. I am referring now to regular attendance at school.

This is a pattern worth developing. The more a child values being in school each day, the better balance they have an understanding of routine. As a  Principal, it was not uncommon to see children unsettled returning into a  classroom later in the day or after several days absence. Of course illness etc. can interfere in regular attendance but attending school on time, each day provides stability and predictability for a child. They love routine and feel secure in knowing how their day will start. They are conscious of their relationships with their peers and understand how they destabilise when not regularly present at school.

All families are busy and have different and varied ways of operating. The size of the family, working parents, sick children etc. impact on how a family starts the day.

Attempting to make a good start each day demonstrates to the child that it has priority in family life and is valued.

Perhaps discussing as a family how this can best work and agreeing to morning routines may help.

Some parents set up a weekly chart and each day tick off their good habits in following morning routines. They even celebrate at the end of the week when it all went to routine. Whatever the method, the message to the child is that regular and punctual school attendance is strongly valued in their family.

Keep up the conversation at home about how morning routines are working. Of course, it will break down from time to time but it is all about imprinting in the child, the family value that consistent attendance at school is an important family value.    

Routine is important for a child, particularly school.