What brings joy to you and your child?

It doesn’t take much for a child to feel joy. We can always help them feel that joy by our own actions. The more we share that joy the deeper and richer connection we make with our child. It also makes us very happy. It triggers a host of significant physiological and psychological changes that improves our physical and mental health.

 Here are some examples of what brings joy to your child. Embrace it!

1. Seeing Your Child Laugh and Play Is Pure Joy

   Watching your child burst into giggles while playing with their favourite toy or sharing a fun moment with friends at the park. Laugh with them. Feel the muscles move in your chest and enjoy the moment together.

2. Their Smile Brightens Up Your Day

   When your child greets you with a big, toothy grin after school, or when they proudly show you a drawing they made. Notice how enlivening is their smile and how it makes you feel so much better.

3. Hearing Their Stories and Ideas Fills Your Heart with Joy

   When your child excitedly tells you about their day at school, recounts a funny story, or shares their imaginative ideas for a new adventure.

   Listen to what they have to say. There is so much joy in the way they express themselves and how they see the world.

4. Celebrating Milestones and Achievements Is a Source of Happiness

   Witnessing your child take their first steps, reading their first book, or seeing them receive a certificate for a school accomplishment. With each milestone you know that your child is well on the way to being an independent individual. That should bring a smile to your face.

5. Quality Time Together Creates Special Memories and Joy

   Enjoying a family game night, going on a nature hike, or having a cosy movie night complete with popcorn and snuggles. Find those special moments as a family. They don’t have to be large or complex. Make them spontaneous occasions where you can be together without any outside pressure. Build it into your week. Make it a family ritual that you get together and have some form of quality time.

6. Supporting Their Passions and Interests Brings Joy to Both of You

   Encouraging your child's love for art by setting up a mini art studio at home or helping them explore their interest in science with exciting experiments.

   Indulging your child’s passions will bring extreme pleasure and joy to your child. They will learn so much as they are keen to participate. Join them and learn from their excitement and joy. Its amazing how passions can become a life habit.

Our world is so much richer and calmer when there is a strong presence of joy in the world. Children are natural ‘joists’. They find joy in the simplest and least complicated aspects of life.

If you decide to join them you will lighten your world and build happy bridges with your child.

   ‘Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls”

- Mother Theresa

The value of being positive around your child

We live in a world where we are constantly addressing mental health as it is such an interfering and common part of our society. Your child learns so much from you and it is amazing how your disposition can help your child see the world in a positive light.

Consider the following:

• When you portray yourself positively as a parent, your child learns a great deal. They like to copy you and see you in a very positive light.

• If you exhibit a positive presence as a parent, your child absorbs significant learning. They will want to imitate it and they will see how much better the world appears from that perspective.

• If you project positivity as a parent, your child picks up on important lessons. This is a great way of teaching optimism.

• If you see the world as a happy place in which to live that will influence their world.

• Being an optimistic around your child invites them to problem solve in an optimistic way rather than focusing on unsolvable problems

• It is a matter of conditioning your child to being positive. It’s a safer place in which to live.

• When your child adopts positivity it attracts people who enjoy life. Don’t forget to use laughter as part of your persona around your child. Laughter is a happy space in which to live.

• By demonstrating a positive disposition your child will be less anxious to approach you over matters that trouble them.

A bright happy parents who savours life is a mindful person who can teach their child to see the world as a hopeful place. What better mental health lesson can you find?

“Keep your eyes on the sun and you will not see the shadows”

— Aboriginal proverb

Keep smiling it works!

I have heard it said that your most powerful gift (or call it weapon) is your smile. It has such potential to change situations and it can turn opinions and attitudes quickly on their head. It is simply a warm expression which sends a message to the other person that all is well and I am feeling pleased.

This short article is to remind us that when situations become too difficult or everything becomes overwhelming, just try smiling. Apart from anything else, it naturally reduces immediate anxiety.

A child reads much into a smile. For them it is a comforting message and one which reassures them that you are pleased and happy with your child.  It says the world is a good place. This ongoing reassurance feeds into their feeling of being safe and secure and above all liked.

Here are some thoughts on the value of smiling.

• When you are having a down moment with your child and don’t quite know how to respond, just smile and leave it at that for a while.

• Reflect on each day and consider how often you smile at your child or any other situation that could bring a smile to your face. Children notice your responses to situations. Be a regular smiler, it has fringe benefits!

• Leaving happy smiley notes around the house or placed in your child’s lunchbox can be a spontaneous thought for the child of feeling positive.

• A smile sheds light on many situations. Even when you see a difficult situation is their scope for shedding some light and brightening the moment?

• Having family meals together is a great time to smile and have a laugh at some happy times during the day. A smile ejects positivism and is registered by your child that all is well.

• Try to see the bright side of life and this will automatically put a smile on your face. Children love to see that you have picked up on the bright side of any situation. Remember, keep the glass half full.

• Children smile a lot. It is generally natural for them to feel happy. Encourage that happy disposition and try not to dampen their positive feelings which come to the surface quite naturally.

• Talk about happy people that make you smile. This teaches a child that being happy is a valued disposition because they bring light into other people’s life.

• I remember that often children would ask me to be with teachers that were happy and smiled a lot. They knew that such a disposition would be the best learning environment for them. If the child is happy, the child learns.

• By smiling regularly, you are showing your child that being happy is a very good space in which to live. Smiling also has a way of drowning out those grumpy attitudes that can appear in family members. Smiles always win the day.

´Before you put on a frown, make absolutely sure there are no smiles available.’

                                                                                               - Jun Beggs

Enjoy the present - it’s here for you now to enjoy

Did you realize that it is actually a skill to learn how to enjoy the present? Sometimes our focus is often on the past or busy planning for what next in the future. Far too often we use the present to simply prepare for the future without acknowledging the very real presence of the now. Think of how photos slow us down. We stop for a minute and reflect on that powerful image. It was a moment in time that we hold dear.

Teachers have learned the art of capturing the moment with children. Often when something special happens, a teacher will stop the class and together all children will reflect on what it is that drew their attention. This is a way of capturing memorable moments. I remember one teacher who kept a diary of those moments and at the end of the school year the children turned it into a book retelling the special moments that built up the charisma of the class.

Children that love school look forward often to the surprise highlights of the day which make for happy moments and collective joy. Teachers know that such a classroom environment where elements of the day are surprisingly highlighted, will excite children who are alive with interest.

If we notice that what we have now is giving us happiness we are more inclined to weather the unsavoury small stuff that can easily interfere with the day, lowering our mood and temperament. Did you wake up this morning and hear birds singing? Was the sun shining? Did your child give you a hug? Did you enjoy breakfast? These incidences are the small but influential stuff that can give us joy along the way.

I believe that if we highlight around our children the joy of noticing and feeling positive about the moment, it will have a positive effect on how our children monitor and identify their day. This is all about developing a healthy habit of living positively in the present.

Consider how such a disposition can be helpful in the development of emotional maturity and the mental health of your child:

• If your child looks to see what is good and happy around them, will they not feel better in themselves?

• Children who are by nature happy attract other children who like to feel happy.

• Good mental health has a strong base in feeling good and in not letting incidences get you down. With a stronger capacity to see and want the happy moments, a child is drawn less to feeling sad and unhappy.

• Children who are conditioned into looking to the positive and happy opportunities of the day are less likely to be drawn into the darker side of unattractive social media etc.

• There is so much to learn from the moments of now. If your child is geared to searching for those moments, they will have less interest in the underbelly of trouble which can easily find its way into the daylight.

• This is all about choosing an attitude where life has much to offer and I want to actively engage in those activities that are life-giving. Just as you are probably involved in a sport that gives such life joy think about simple opportunities throughout the day that give a positive vibe to life. Go for a walk with your child, cycle together, play games draw together etc.

We all see how playing sport as a child is about enjoying the moment, feeling the exhilaration of what it is that you are doing with the ball etc. If we can transfer some of that happy feeling into moments of the day, we have come a long way in understanding the life-giving habit of celebrating the moment.

What will your child remember about you?

As your child grows and the years swiftly move on you will notice that the things you say and what you do is quickly forgotten and replaced with new thoughts, plans and directions as a family. Do we fixate too much on the smaller details of each day? Time seems to work against us as we busily engage with our children over the years. They are preoccupied with years full of different agendas and the shifting demands that are placed on us. What do our children really think about us? Are they aware of all our efforts? Do they remember the little details and the extra efforts we make over the years? What is their level of appreciation of us the parents?

No matter what effort you made, your child will never forget how you made them feel about themselves. They will have images in their mind of how they felt in your presence and how you treated them and valued them as people. These are lasting images and will influence their longer term memories of their childhood and of your parenting. No pressure!

Think for a minute of your favourite teacher. What did you like about them? I am sure that how they treated you was a big part of your longer-term images of them.

The following thoughts may help you feel less pressured and happy in your own faith as an effective parent:

•  Little mistakes don’t really register in the longer term.

• Being a parent with the best intentions is good enough. If things do not go perfectly as planned so be it. Children need to learn that disappointment is part of growing up.

• Always watch the way and the intent of how you talk to your child. Be consistent in how you discuss matters. Changing tactics becoming angry etc. will unsettle your child.

• Your child does not expect you to be perfect. In fact, they like your natural style and value your honesty when making a mistake. Such honesty and ease in apologising, reassures them that you are human and will be empathetic to their needs.

• Whilst it is important to affirm them regularly, they also appreciate your honest appraisal of some of their activities. Listen to their concerns and be available for consultation when asked. Try to involve your child in as much decision making as possible. The more they feel part of the decisions, the more they engage and feel connected to the story.

• In making your child feel good about themselves, you need to be honest and open with them. They deserve honesty and value your truth when at times it comes with disappointment and loss. What is a parent if it is not to rear and nurture a happy, healthy individual born from the experience of being a happy child?

• Your disposition also has a strong influence on how your child feels and copes around you. The more they feel welcomed and find it easy to engage with you, the happier and more fulfilled they feel. It may seem strange but your style of parenting plays heavily on their sense of feeling valued and developing a healthy self-esteem.

• Think about what your child says about their favourite teacher. It is interesting to hear what makes them happy in being around them. No surprise that it will be linked to how much they feel valued and can trust their teacher.

Finally, just relax and take stock of all the good ways in which you parent. Don’t be troubled by small stuff, but keep your eye on the ball which is the longer-term gain of having reared a happy child whose memories of childhood will be warm and comforting thanks to you!

          ‘A happy childhood is perhaps the most important gift in life.’

                                                                    -Dorothy Richardson