Helping children cope with distressing media

Addressing distressing media is crucial, especially for parents navigating this digital age with their children. Of course, we need to live in the real world and there has been some very distressing news which needs to be processed with our children in a way that they can understand.

Here are some thoughts on how to educate our children in understanding our modern world where social media can be consumptive:

• Establish healthy boundaries around screen time for both yourself and your children. Setting specific hours for media consumption can help mitigate exposure to distressing content. After all, how much media do we need on a daily basis?

• Create safe spaces online where children can explore content that is curated and monitored by parents. This could include setting up restricted profiles on streaming services or utilizing parental controls on devices.

• Stress the importance of open communication between yourself and your children regarding media consumption. Create a supportive environment where children feel comfortable discussing anything they may find distressing online.

• Talk to your child about how media can have confusion and sensationalism built in. Teach children how to critically analyze media content. This includes helping them understand bias, fact-checking information, and recognizing manipulation tactics used in media. It is most important that they learn not to believe everything they hear and see.

• Monitor your child’s social media usage and be aware of the platforms they are using. Set privacy settings and discuss appropriate online behaviour with your child.

• Prioritize your own well-being when consuming media. Take breaks from news and social media if it becomes overwhelming and engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress relief. This demonstrates to your child that you want and need a balance in your life.

• Offer suggestions for alternative activities that you as a family can engage in together that doesn’t involve screens, such as outdoor adventures, board games, or creative projects.

• It is important as the parent to model healthy media behaviour for your child. Children often mimic their parents’ habits, so it is essential for parents to demonstrate balanced media consumption themselves. Take care how you talk about the media content in front of your child.

• Stay informed about current events but do so mindfully. Consuming excessive news coverage of distressing events can take a toll on mental health, so it’s important to strike a balance between staying informed and protecting one’s well-being.

• Have frequent talks about how understanding media is critical to get only the best out of information that is posted in some way.

• Involving your child in a busy, active life with sports activities, hobbies etc. throughout the week will give them a very happy lifestyle where the focus is not so much on social media.

• When explaining issues to children that have been emblazoned in the news take your time and use language that your child will understand. Sometimes the sensational nature of how words are used can be very intimidating for a child. Check in with them later to see if they understood what you had to say.

Our children live in this digital age and whilst it fills so much of their day they still need to be in control. They need to see it as a tool that be can be used for good and at times not for good. They need to be scrutinizing and be in charge when it comes to deciding how to use it. In this way they are running the show and will be more in control of what they read and how they interpret material. Such maturity will be accelerated with your guidance and direction on how best to be engaged with the digital world.

“Social media is a very, very powerful tool. It also gives power to tools.”

— Chris Young

The fun of joint projects with your child

Finding good reasons to spend time together shows that you are keen to build a strong relationship with your child. Finding projects that you can share together is not only educational but leads you both on a journey of discovery together. Shared projects mean you are both actively engaged to discover and learn new things. What better way than to show your child how you value learning as much as them.

In a shared project there is give and take and lots of healthy questioning along the way. It means that conversations with your child are rich and lead to happy negotiations between the two of you.

To find joint projects, look at things you do at home that can be shared. Think about what motivates you and what will motivate your child. Once you have a good sense of an activity that you both will enjoy then go for it. The project does need to be wanted and accepted by both of you. It will fail if the passion wears off quickly. Think about how your family operates and what interests them enough to join in with you on project developments.

Here are some suggestions:

• Gardening, setting up veggie areas together.

• Building a small cubby house.

• Fixing bikes and toys together

• Cooking, experimenting with new recipes.

• Doing a drawing course together.

• Painting the child’s room together.

• Building a major Lego set.

• Sewing and learning about patterns.

• Build a bird feeder.

• Art and craft activities with toilet rolls etc.

• Be involved in exercise together.

• Nature activities, setting up equipment together.

• Research together where next to go on holidays.

• Develop a family scrapbook together.

 The list is endless and is only limited by your imagination.

Together you are teaching your child more about the world, showing them new skills and deepening your relationship with them. You are also fostering teamwork and bonding. Your child needs to see how you value learning and want to share your wisdom with them.

‘Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.’

                                                       -Albert Einstein.

Teach your child about life from outside the classroom

Teaching children about learning beyond the classroom is essential for their overall development.

Here are eight simple but effective examples for parents to help their children learn outside of school:

Remember, learning from the classroom is only one form of learning in what should be a lifelong experience.

1. Nature Exploration: Take your child on hikes or nature walks. Encourage them to observe and ask questions about plants, animals, and the environment. Use field guides or smartphone apps to identify species. This fosters curiosity and a love for science and the natural world. Have you considered having all the gear? Bikes, walking shoes for hiking etc. Let your child know how you value outdoor learning.

2. Cooking Together: Involve your child in meal preparation. Teach them about measurements, fractions, and the science of cooking. Discuss nutrition and make it fun by experimenting with recipes. This enhances maths and science skills while promoting a life skill. Talk to them whilst cooking as maths is best taught through conversation, experience and trial and error. Have cookbooks lying around the house.

3. Library Visits: Regular trips to the library expose children to a wide variety of books and resources. Let them choose their reading material, whether it's fiction, non-fiction, or graphic novels. Encourage discussions about what they've read to improve comprehension and critical thinking. Just spend some time together reading at the library. Talk to the librarians who have much to offer.

4. Art and Creativity: Provide art supplies and encourage your child to express themselves through drawing, painting, or crafting. Discuss famous artists, styles, and the history of art. This cultivates creativity, self-expression, and an appreciation for the arts. Take them on excursions to galleries, art houses etc.

5. Home Gardening: Start a small garden together, whether it's in your backyard or on a windowsill. Teach your child about plants' life cycles, photosynthesis, and responsible care for living things. Gardening also instils patience and a sense of responsibility. Collect books on gardening and read them together. Visit special gardens that are on display.

6. Museum Visits: Plan trips to museums, science centres, or historical sites. These outings expose children to culture, history, and science in an interactive way. Engage in discussions about what they've seen and encourage them to ask questions. Let them look up various places of interest to visit.

7. Find the right moment: When walking together or simply watching television, you will find the occasion to talk about life outside the classroom.

8. Be Curious about life: Notice things and talk about them. Question why you see birds in trees and notice how the waves change. The more you seem inquiring about outside life the more your child will show interest and curiosity. They begin to be more observant.

Outside the classroom, you open the door to many more learning opportunities. Here you provide direct personal contact with nature which is enjoyable, excites the imagination and encourages inquiry. Outside the classroom knowledge meets adventure and children are easily motivated to learn and explore in a much more natural way.

‘From a very early age. I had to interrupt my education to go to school.’

                                                          -George Bernard Shaw

Six great ideas that parents can use to build their child's interest in learning:

For some children, school can be long, demanding and tedious. The key is to keep your child interested in learning and to be excited about what is possible. We can really encourage a love for learning by demonstrating how we love to learn new things in our own lives.

Here are six great ideas that parents can use to build their child's interest in learning:

1. Make Learning Fun and Engaging: Create a positive and enjoyable learning environment by incorporating games, hands-on activities, and interactive experiences. Use educational apps, puzzles, and creative projects to make learning feel like play. Show your children how you enjoy learning all the time. Set your house up for easy access to books and all sorts of learning materials. Make it a visual feast of all things that lead to reading and discovery

2. Follow Their Interests: Pay attention to your child's natural interests and passions. Tailor learning experiences to align with their curiosity, whether it's dinosaurs, outer space, art, or animals. When children see that learning can be related to their interests, they become more motivated to explore and discover. Have fun with them when they do projects. Here you can use all sorts of materials and discuss many and varied topics.

3. Read Together: Reading is one of the best ways to foster a love for learning. Set aside regular time for reading together, exploring a variety of genres and topics. Discuss the stories, ask open-ended questions, and let your child's imagination flourish. Have plenty of reading material around the house.

4. Encourage Curiosity: Create an atmosphere where questions are welcomed and encouraged. When your child asks a question, help them find answers through research, experiments, or discussions. This shows them that learning is about satisfying their curiosity and finding solutions. Play games in the car where you learn and discover about the surroundings. Make life a learning experience all round.

5. Connect Learning to the Real World: Help your child see the practical applications of what they're learning. For instance, involve them in cooking to teach maths and science concepts, or go on nature walks to explore biology and ecology. Showing how learning connects to everyday life can make it more meaningful.

6. Provide a Variety of Learning Experiences: Expose your child to a diverse range of learning experiences, such as visits to museums, science centres, historical sites, and cultural events. Exposure to different subjects and fields can spark new interests and expand their horizons. Whilst being consistent has its values this is about putting variety into their thinking processes.

 Remember, the key is to create a positive and supportive atmosphere that encourages your child to explore, discover, and enjoy the process of learning. Be patient, flexible and adaptable to your child's learning style. Always be ready to celebrate their achievements and efforts, no matter how small. Don’t be surprised when they come up with strange and wonderful ideas. Let all that flow into creativity and a love for learning. Finally don’t worry about mistakes being made. We all learn best from our mistakes. Here we grow!

‘Learning is a pure journey of discovery.’

                                                            -Gail Smith

It’s a long haul so let’s keep up with fresh ideas

Keep smiling! Consider that in a normal day you would have less than ten minutes one on one time with your child. You now have a wonderful opportunity to enrich your relationship during this isolation period. No doubt it will come with its trials and tribulations but overall, when we come out of it, think about the unique life journey you have been on with your child. This unique time will never be repeated with your child.

Here are some thoughts on two levels. Firstly, some practical ideas that can be an enjoyable learning experience for your child. Secondly, some practical thoughts about keeping yourself sane and happy.

Practical ideas that can be an enjoyable learning experience for your child.

• Firstly, recognise that sustaining long periods of time doing one activity can be difficult for some children. It is useful to have a range of activities that can be repeated over time. Remember short intervals will have more impact for a child if they are engaged in them. Try to enjoy them with your child and remember that you are not a teacher and everything does not have to be perfect.

• Consider a plan. This could be encouraging some innovative learning activities in the morning and after lunch some physical activities to get away the cobwebs and feelings of being couped up.

• Consider keeping a diary. This is a good idea. It does not need to be too long and it helps your child record their feelings and moods along the way. This is quite therapeutic. The diary does not need to be daily but can be used across the week when the mood strikes to write. If your child can’t manage this on their own, make it a family diary where you also write in it.

• How about encouraging your child to write encouraging letters to the elderly in homes? Talk about their isolation and how this is a helpful exercise to support the vulnerable.

• On large sheets, children can write encouragement slogans and place them on external windows of their house. This is something that can be repeated from time to time. Once again this encourages the children to be positively engaged with the community at large.

• Teach your children how to make play-dough. This is a fun activity and is enjoyed by the younger children.

• Check out various websites on an institution like the zoo, children’s museum, art gallery. Many institutions are now putting up wonderful online activities for children.

• If you have a tape measure it can be fun measuring the rooms in the house and with assistance drawing a house plan.

• In the garden give them a special patch which is just their own. Here they can dig, plant, play, experiment etc.

• Setting up a small sandpit is a wonderful activity for children to enjoy.

• Use intermittent music to break the activities up in the morning. This gives them some exercise and mental breaks.

• How about your child rearranging the pantry and putting a new fresh look into it?

• Are their cupboards they can clean out?

• I hear of some families setting up a roster where the children are in charge of cooking for the night. This of course may involve parental assistance. However, there is the planning, food preparation etc. that needs quite a bit of thought.

• Can your child decorate their room from time to time giving it a fresh new look?

• Write a story together. This starts with you beginning with:

               “Once upon a time” … then the child adds to it,

 “there was a wolf in the garden”.

You add to the story and so it continues. This is great fun, encourages imagination and by writing it down it becomes your own narrative.

• In the garden, encourage the children to sketch the plants. There is so much in the garden that can be drawn, painted, photographed and admired. Also, teach the child how to press flowers from the garden. This could be a great addition to include in the diary.

• Do you have old costume jewellery that you can live without? Children can reshape these into new pieces. This is an excellent art activity.

• Can you all knit together? If you don’t know how to learn together from a Youtube lesson. That could be fun.

• Remember, the more you introduce your child to fresh homegrown ideas, the more they value simpler things and learn how to create their own entertainment. For this generation so geared to technology, this is an excellent opportunity to step away from such things. Keep in mind that they are learning in a whole new way.

• How about having fun with tie-dying old shirts? If you are uncertain about the process simply google it.

• Younger children love a dress-up box. Have you got some old clothes that can make up such a box?

Consider how you, the parents are feeling. Let’s think about how you are managing such a complex situation under difficult circumstances.

• Can you find a few minutes to yourself? This may mean physically removing yourself from the children. A little personal space can make such a difference. Also don’t feel guilty when you have those feelings of being overloaded by the children. It’s natural.

• Think positively. I have this precious time with my children. I can build my relationship in this situation but it will be hard from time to time. I understand that there will be days when I operate better than others. This is natural.

• When you shop can you include some little treats for yourself? Remember nurturing yourself will make you a better nurturer.

• Use the phone more and talk rather than texting. Real conversations are mentally healthier than texting.

• Find some funny adult YouTube pieces just for yourself. Here you can giggle and remember the quality of laughing.

• Whilst there is nothing humorous about the seriousness of coronavirus, it is still necessary to keep you spirits up and plan hopefully to come out the other end being better for the experience.

• If you are having a bad day, do less, remove yourself for a while, put less pressure on yourself, read books, magazines etc. Simply slow down the feelings that are making you unsettled. Accept that these overwhelming feelings are natural and from time to time I will have them. You are trying to live in a whole new world. It takes adjustment for all. Children’s fluctuating behaviour will affect how I operate and this is natural.

• Keep in mind that this virus has a short life. There will be an end in sight, thanks to the outstanding human efforts in place and you will come through having embarked on a unique journey with your child, one imprinted in both your minds. What memories do you want to share with them?

“Simple pleasures are the last healthy refuge in a complex world.”

— Oscar Wilde

How to get the best out of activities with your child.

Choosing the right time of day makes all the difference in the world to planned activities with your child.

As a counsellor, I would choose to work with children in a morning session as opposed to the afternoon as children are more retentive and certainly more receptive to what you have to say. Their listening skills are much more responsive. They are less reactive to issues and can process at a calmer level.

In a classroom setting, teachers are very aware that the more serious learning will be happening in the morning block and not the afternoon after children have eaten, played etc.  A lot of emotion comes into the afternoon, especially if play, did not provide a successful outcome. Often activities provided in the afternoon in a classroom are shorter, require less focus and teachers set less expectation for their students.

If you are planning a special time with your child, such as a visit to the zoo, museum, special visit to a friend etc. I recommend planning for the morning block. In this way, the child will be more attentive and their listening skills much higher. It sounds simple but if you want a quality experience from the activity or simply want a better response from your child, try morning blocks where possible.

When is a great time for play?