Let’s look at conversations to have with your child
By having regular, open conversations, parents can nurture a positive outlook in their child’s life. Here are five meaningful topics parents can frequently discuss to support mental health, instill confidence, and remind children that they are always loved. Read on to learn how these conversations can help your child grow with confidence and emotional security.
Here are five great conversation topics that parents can frequently discuss with their children to support mental health, foster a positive disposition, and reassure them of being loved. Frequent positive reminders are healthy ways to give a positive outlook to a growing child and to build emotional intelligence.
Emotions and Feelings
Topic: "How are you feeling today? It's okay to have all kinds of emotions."
Purpose: Encourage emotional expression and validation of feelings. This helps children understand that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that their feelings are important.
Reassuring Message: "No matter how you feel, I'm always here to listen and support you."
Self-Worth and Inner Strength
Topic: "What do you think makes you special or unique?"
Purpose: This encourages self-reflection and builds self-esteem by helping the child recognize their strengths, talents, and individuality.
Reassuring Message: "You are amazing just the way you are, and I love you for who you are."
Challenges and Problem-Solving
Topic: "What was something challenging today, and how did you handle it?"
Purpose: Encouraging conversations about handling challenges reinforces resilience and problem-solving skills, helping children approach difficulties with a positive mindset.
Reassuring Message: "No matter what happens, you’re strong, and I believe in your ability to get through tough times."
Gratitude and Positivity
Topic: "What are three things you’re thankful for today?"
Purpose: Fostering gratitude can shift the focus toward the positive aspects of life, promoting optimism and mental well-being.
Reassuring Message: "Even when things are hard, there’s always something good, and I’m grateful to have you in my life."
Love and Belonging
Topic: "What’s something fun we could do together soon?"
Purpose: Strengthen the parent-child bond by focusing on shared experiences, making the child feel valued and connected.
Reassuring Message: "You are always loved, no matter what, and spending time with you makes me happy."
Frequent conversations on these topics not only build a child's mental resilience but also provide the emotional security that they are loved and supported unconditionally. Every child needs reassurance and will from time to time need that extra reassurance that their world is fine.
“A parent’s positive reassurance is a life line to a child.”
Good principles of parenting
The idea of being a perfect parent is a myth. Instead, Gail Smith shares some fundamental principles that can guide us through the ups and downs of parenting. These practices will help you navigate challenges and changes with greater confidence throughout your parenting journey.
Let’s keep in mind that our parenting will keep changing as we gradually grow into it and as our children grow older and their needs change. It is in constant evolution. What we need to keep stable are some fundamental principles of good parenting. They will hold us in good stead in times of turbulence and change throughout our parenting years.
Consider the following principles:
Unconditional Love
Love your child for who they are, not just for what they do. Your love is their safe haven in the world. Unconditional love means that despite behaviour that you do not like, you still love the child. It is only behaviour driven by some anxiety.
Active Listening
When you listen to your child with an open heart, you show them that their voice matters. It's the key to understanding and connection. Effective listening allows the child to feel heard and valued. They are then more inclined to go to you when they are anxious and need to be heard.
Setting Boundaries with Empathy
Boundaries are like the walls of a safe playground. Set them with love and understanding, so your child can explore the world confidently. Boundaries allow the child to know where they stand and what matters to you the parent.
Positive Reinforcement
Praise their effort and progress, not just the end result. Your encouragement fuels their motivation to learn and grow. Be specific when praising. Let the child know what is valued in the praise.
Teaching Through Example
Your actions speak louder than words. Be the role model you want your child to follow, and they'll learn from your example.
Embracing Mistakes as Learning
Mistakes are stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Show your child that it's okay to make mistakes; it's how we learn and improve. Let them see in your own life how you use mistakes to inform your life. Talk openly about how mistakes are a great learning tool.
Provide a safe haven
A child that feels safe takes more risks and learns more confidently through their home environment. Set it up so that conversation is encouraged and affirmation is given regularly. Let there be no judgement on their efforts.
Set up a positive learning environment
This should be a creative space where your child feels safe to talk about issues, develop ideas and discuss topics. Allow your child to explore their thinking in a home and family environment that is open to ideas and questions all the time. They will feel free to be creative and extend ideas and thoughts well beyond the conventional.
We can never be the perfect parent. That is a myth. We can however be a parent that understands and works hard to practise some basis principles that hold strong and true through your rearing years.
“Learning some basic principles of parenting provides a safety zone for good parenting.”
Let’s look at some ways in which life can be easier for our working mums.
Mothers, it's important not to underestimate the value of personal time. Balancing family responsibilities while staying calm and rested is no small feat. Though there's no one-size-fits-all solution, it's worth considering ways to make life a bit easier. Parenting shouldn't feel like an overwhelming burden on top of managing home and work. Gail Smith offers practical steps to help you navigate those hectic school weeks with a little more ease.
Mothers have a huge load on their shoulders when they work. Balancing all the family responsibilities and remaining calm and rested is a challenge. There is no easy answer, but it is worthwhile to reflect on how and what can make life a little easier. Parenting should not become an immense burden on top of managing home and work. Let’s look at some steps that could make it a little easier across those busy weeks of school.
Prioritize and Delegate
Focus on what truly matters each day and learn to delegate tasks, whether at work or home. This could mean assigning age-appropriate chores to children or seeking help from a partner or family member for certain responsibilities.
Embrace “Good Enough”
Let go of perfectionism. Not every task needs to be done flawlessly. Sometimes, it’s okay if things are simply “good enough.” This mindset can reduce stress and free up time.
Meal Planning and Prep
Dedicate a bit of time on weekends to plan meals for the week and prepare ingredients in advance. This small investment can save a lot of time and stress on busy weeknights.
Use Technology to Stay Organized
Leverage apps and tools for managing schedules, reminders, and to-do lists. Simple tools like shared family calendars or task management apps can help keep everyone on track and reduce mental load.
Set Boundaries
Establish clear boundaries between work and personal time. This could mean setting specific work hours and sticking to them, or designating certain times in the day as phone-free, family time.
Practice Mindful Breaks
Incorporate short, mindful breaks into the day, even if it’s jus 5-10 minutes. A quick walk, deep breathing, or a brief moment of meditation can refresh the mind and reduce stress, making it easier to tackle the next task.
Above all factor yourself into the week. Your personal care is necessary to keep the week functioning well. Never undervalue your need for personal time. Such is the oil that lubricates all the machinery that needs to be operating for a family to have an effective week.
“Try to find some balance and harmony to the busy week. This brings happiness and less feelings of being overwhelmed.”
Be the parent and not the friend to your child - that’s what they need
Be your children's best friend or be their parent? While we naturally want to support and comfort our children, sometimes the best way to do that is by making clear, rational decisions—even when it means not always being their best friend. After all, being the best parent often means making tough choices for the well-being of your child.
We all want that close and connected relationship with our child. We sometimes think that being their close friend is the best way to show how much you love your child. Whilst all goes well it may seem a perfect situation but at some point you will need to be the parents as this may come with some stresses and strains on the relationship. Your child really looks for the parent in you and that comes with responsibility and accountability.
The following ideas are sound and compelling reasons why being the parent gives you the greatest chance to have a strong and healthy relationship where you can share friendship and joy in a balanced way. Parents need to be parents, not friends:
1. Boundaries Create Security and Structure for Children!
2. Children Need Guidance, Not Peer-Level Approval!
3. Discipline from a Parent Shapes Responsible Adults!
4. A Parent’s Authority Builds Respect and Trust!
5. Children Look to Parents for Leadership, Not Friendship!
6. Parenting with Authority Encourages Healthy Decision-Making!
We all want to be there for our children when they need us. This may require clear thinking and rational decision making. This does not always mean that you are their best friend but in fact their best parent.
“Your child needs the parent in you. Not the child.”
Encouraging your child to write well
Some children struggle with writing, finding it difficult to start and continue their stories. Parents can help by providing engaging activities that spark motivation. Gail Smith offers suggestions to show children the power of the written word. Read on to discover more on how to encourage your child's writing journey!
Some children find writing a difficult task. They seem to feel blocked and struggle to start stories and certainly struggle to continue with them. Parents can help by providing some stimulating activities for their child to do that are not difficult but can motivate a child to write.
Consider:
Encourage Daily Journaling: Suggest that your child keep a daily journal. Writing about their day, feelings, or even imaginary stories can help them practise and improve their writing skills regularly.
Read Together Regularly: Expose your child to a variety of writing styles by reading together. Discuss the books, focusing on how different authors use language, structure their stories, and create vivid descriptions.
Use Writing Prompts: Provide fun and engaging writing prompts to spark their creativity. Prompts like "Imagine you have a superpower for a day. What would you do?" can make writing exciting and less of a chore.
Play Word Games: Engage in word games like Scrabble or Boggle. These games can expand vocabulary and improve language skills in a playful and interactive way.
Incorporate Technology: Use writing apps and websites designed for kids. Programs like Grammar for Kids or fun writing games online can make writing more engaging and educational. Talk to your child’s teacher about what they would recommend.
Write Letters: Encourage your child to write letters to family members, friends, or even pen pals. Writing letters can be a fun way to practise different writing and communication styles.
Create a Family Newspaper: Start a family newspaper where everyone contributes articles, stories, or comics. This can be a collaborative project that makes writing a shared and enjoyable activity.
Provide Constructive Feedback: When reviewing your child’s writing, offer positive feedback along with gentle suggestions for improvement. Focus on specific aspects, like adding more descriptive words or varying sentence structure.
Use Visual Aids: Encourage your child to create storyboards or mind maps before writing. Visual planning can help them organise their thoughts and improve the overall structure of their writing.
Set a Writing Example: Share your own writing with your child. Show them drafts, edits, and final versions to demonstrate the writing process and the importance of revision and improvement.
Start A Sentence: Make it a game. You start a sentence, and they finish it. “Yesterday I found an interesting rock. It was……”
Play with Reading Books: When you are reading a book occasionally stop. Let them see that the written word has power and invite your child to change the story. Perhaps they could suggest a different ending.
Have plenty of books and magazines around the house and occasionally read little segments from them out loud. A child's imagination will be enlivened when they begin to talk about their passions and interests. When they start to be motivated about something, encourage them to write about it. Let them see that the written word has power.
“When we write, we feel, see and hear the words.’
-Gail J Smith
Six reasons why giving your child quality time works
The time you spend with your child is invaluable and leaves a lasting impact on their sense of being loved and secure. As they grow into teenagers and become more independent, those shared moments become even more precious. Gail Smith shares six surprising benefits of dedicating time to your child in this insightful blog post.
The time you give to your child is valuable and has a lasting effect on their feelings of being loved and feeling secure.
Here are six surprising outcomes when you give of your time to your child:
Your effort:
Promotes Creativity: Engaging in imaginative play with parents stimulates children's creative thinking and problem-solving skills.
Reduces Stress: Shared activities and positive interactions can lower stress levels in children, leading to better overall mental health.
Teaches Conflict Resolution: Quality time allows parents to model healthy ways to handle
disagreements, helping children develop strong conflict resolution skills.
Enhances Cultural Awareness: Parents can introduce children to diverse cultures and traditions, broadening their understanding of the world.
Improves Physical Health: Active play and shared physical activities encourage healthy habits and improve physical fitness.
Fosters Independence: By spending time together, parents can teach essential life skills, empowering children to become more self-reliant and confident in their abilities.
Giving quality time to your child is all about sharing more of your life with them. There will come a time when they disappear out of sight and we struggle to bring them into our presence. This is of course the teenage years. Therefore value those moments you share together. It is rewarded a hundred fold.
“Shared time with your child builds strong mental health in all the family”
Keep yourself well and healthy as a parent
As parents, it's easy to focus solely on our children's well-being and overlook our own. However, maintaining our own mental and physical health is crucial for effective parenting. Gail Smith explains how prioritizing self-care enhances our ability to be the best parents we can be. Keep your well-being at the forefront to savor the joys of parenting.
We focus so much on our children that it is easy to forget the importance of our own well being as the parent. We owe it to ourselves to consider our well being as critical in being the best parent possible.
The more we feel well and mentally fit the greater capacity we have to parent our children well and be happy in the process.
Consider:
Emotional Availability: When parents take care of their mental and emotional health, they are better equipped to be emotionally available for their children. This means they can provide the support, empathy, and understanding that children need to feel secure and loved, fostering strong emotional bonds and a stable home environment.
Enhanced Patience and Resilience: Parenting can be challenging and demanding. Parents who maintain their well-being have greater patience and resilience, enabling them to handle stress, conflicts, and the inevitable ups and downs of parenting with a calm and composed demeanour. This helps in creating a peaceful and nurturing atmosphere at home.
Preventing Burnout: Parenting is a full-time job that can lead to burnout if self-care is neglected. Prioritising personal well-being helps parents recharge and avoid the physical and emotional exhaustion that can come from constantly putting others' needs before their own. This ensures they have the energy and enthusiasm to engage fully with their children.
Improved Problem-Solving and Decision-Making: A healthy mind and body contribute to better cognitive functioning. Parents who look after their well-being are more likely to make sound decisions and solve problems effectively, whether it's navigating everyday challenges or making important choices about their children's education, health, and future.
When we feel well and happy we tolerate more, see humour in life and enjoy and savour what is around. To get the best of being a parent, keep your well being at the forefront of your mind.
“A happy parent gives themselves a high priority.”
Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child
In today's world, we often check in on our children's mental health. Social media and other challenges faced by youth remind us to stay vigilant. Gail Smith points out some common triggers that may indicate your child is under too much stress. By recognizing these signs, you can better gauge your child's well-being and offer support when needed. It's important to keep an eye out for these cues to ensure your child feels safe and supported.
We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene. Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:
Changes in Sleep Patterns
Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.
Behavioural Changes
Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.
Physical Symptoms
Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.
Academic Performance
A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.
Changes in Eating Habits
Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.
Regression to Earlier Behaviours
Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.
Frequent Crying
A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.
Avoidance Behaviours
A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.
Increased Dependency
A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.
Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness
Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.
When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.
The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence. -Gail J Smith
How to choose the best school for your child?
Choosing the right school for your child is a significant decision. While no school is perfect, it's essential that children feel welcomed and safe to learn. So, how do you select the best school? Gail Smith shares insightful pointers to help you navigate this crucial aspect of raising children.
At this stage of the year many parents are reflecting on where to send their first child to school. It is also useful for all parents of children in schools to reflect on what your school is currently offering your child. Is it living up to those expectations you have of it? Is your child happy at school?
Here are some reflections on how you can research your local schools. Keep in mind though that your participation and engagement with that school will make all the difference to your child's success in that environment.
Consider:
• Consider the school's proximity to your home or workplace for ease of commute and involvement. Also consider your child will establish friends at that school and this will impact on your social life at home as often children want to play with friends outside of school hours.
• Look at the school’s curriculum and special programs to see if they align with your child’s learning style and interests. Is the school looking into optional programs to support various children's needs?
• Smaller class sizes often mean more individual attention for your child. Check the teacher- student ratio. Consider is the school likely to grow in numbers quickly as that will affect class sizes?
• Research the school’s reputation through reviews from other parents, online ratings, and talking to local community members.
• Ensure the school offers a range of extracurricular activities that match your child’s interests, such as sports, arts, or clubs.
• Visit the school to get a feel for its culture and values. Make sure it aligns with your family’s values and supports a positive environment. Attend functions such as s school fairs to get a feel for the environment.
• Check the quality of the school’s facilities, including classrooms, libraries, sports areas, and technology. Are their any plans for new buildings, renovations etc.?
• Find out what support services are available, such as counselling, special education, and tutoring programs.
• Assess how the school communicates with parents and the opportunities available for parental involvement.
• Review the school’s safety protocols and discipline policies to ensure a secure and well- managed environment.
• Look at the school’s performance data, such as test scores and graduation rates, to gauge academic success. Take care though that this is only one feature of a school. Your child's learning is very holistic and they will need development in their social, emotional and physical development alongside side the intellectual development.
• Take a tour of the school, meet the staff, and observe classes to get a firsthand impression.
A school can be many things to children. Primarily they need to feel welcomed and believe that they can safely learn in that environment. No school environment is perfect. What is important is that your child feels strongly connected to the school and can grow with confidence and the reassurance that everyone is there for them.
“The quality of your child’s education at any school will be enriched by your relationship to that school.”
It really matters to listen to your child
Listening to your child is crucial for building and strengthening your relationship with them. Gail Smith explains five compelling reasons why attentive listening truly matters.
Listening to your child will make all the difference in building and strengthening that important relationship with them. Here are 5 very clear reasons why it does matter to listen well.
1. Builds Trust and Connection:
Why it matters: When parents actively listen to their children, it fosters a sense of trust and strengthens the parent-child bond. Children feel valued and understood. They are then more likely to share their thoughts and feelings.
2. Encourages Emotional Intelligence:
Why it matters: Listening helps children learn to express their emotions and understand others. By validating their feelings and discussing them, parents can guide children in developing empathy.
3. Promotes Problem-Solving Skills:
Why it matters: When parents listen and engage in conversations about challenges, children learn to think critically and come up with solutions. This practice enhances their problem-solving abilities and independence.
4. Enhances Communication Skills:
Why it matters: Children who are listened to tend to become better communicators. They learn how to articulate their thoughts clearly and respectfully, skills that are crucial for their personal and professional lives.
5. Identifies and Addresses Issues Early:
Why it matters: Active listening allows parents to detect any issues or concerns their children may be facing early on. This early intervention can prevent problems from escalating and makes for a calmer house.
“There is so much to gain by listening well to your child.”
We need to regulate our angry responses around children
It's important for parents to stay calm and not get too angry too quickly. This helps in handling issues at home effectively. When parents get angry, children might not understand why and it can harm the parent-child relationship. It's best to manage anger by taking a break before addressing the problem, as this shows emotional control and helps maintain a positive relationship with your child.
Maintaining composure and not getting too angry too quickly is crucial for effective parenting. Here are six reasons why this is important. The examples given are helpful in identifying the sorts of issues that happen at home. It is very easy and quick to turn to anger when disappointed in some behaviour, tired, irritable or just plain out of sorts. A child often doesn’t understand why you reach that point. So taking care to keep levels of anger down and to take time out before addressing the issue is the best resolution.
Modelling Emotional Regulation: When a child spills a drink accidentally, instead of getting angry immediately, say, "It's okay, accidents happen. Let's clean it up together." By staying calm, you teach your child how to manage their own emotions. They also listen and don’t shut down when you keep calm.
Teaching Problem-Solving Skills: If your child forgets their homework, rather than reacting with anger, say, "Let's figure out a solution together. How can we make sure you remember your homework in the future?" This approach helps your child learn to address challenges constructively. If they expect you to react angrily they will build anxiety over time and will avoid being in contact with you.
Promoting a Safe and Trusting Environment: If your child confesses to a mistake, like breaking a toy, avoid immediate anger and instead say, "Thank you for telling me the truth. We can find a way to fix it together." This encourages honesty and trust. We don’t want them to develop a fear over telling the truth
Preventing Escalation of Conflict: If a sibling argument arises, try not to jump in with anger. Instead, say, "Let's all take a deep breath and talk about what happened calmly." By staying composed, you prevent conflicts from worsening.
Maintaining Effective Communication: If your child receives a poor grade, don't react with anger. Instead, say, "Let's talk about what happened and how we can help you improve." This approach encourages open communication and problem-solving.
Protecting Your Child's Self-Esteem: If your child struggles with a task, don't express frustration. Instead, say, "It's okay to find this challenging. We all have things we need to practice." This protects their self-esteem and promotes a growth mindset.
Keeping your anger under control is all about emotional regulation. If a child believes that anger is your first response, your relationship with them will deteriorate and in many cases, children shut down or simply keep you out of the loop. That is their survival tactic to avoid the repercussions of anger, which is seen as a form of power and control.
If you have a relaxed and understanding approach and keep your tone calm and sympathetic, your child will approach you comfortably and with the absolute truth.
‘My job as a parent isn’t to control my child’s emotions. My job as a parent is to control mine.’
-Shelley Robinson
Building resilience in girls around today's Social Challenges
By instilling positive thinking and self-support skills, we can help our girls grow into strong, confident individuals capable of making informed decisions for their safety and well-being. Gail Smith shares her insights on what we, as parents, can do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer.
We have all been appalled and shocked by the recent outbreaks of violence to women. There is much to address in this serious matter and it is a socially distressing sign that all is not well in our society.
Here I am thinking of how parents can be so helpful in building strength in our girls to support their growing years where they are forming ideas, values and most importantly long lasting self worth. I have always been a great believer that the stronger the girl, the more personally confident they are in making choices with friends, partners etc. that will be the very best for them.
The recent tragedies indicate that we have much to do to educate men on how to treat women and how to respect and value them in the highest possible way. This will not happen overnight and so I now turn my attention to how we can strengthen our girls to be observant, mature and feel confident enough to walk away from situations that make them unsafe. This is not as easy as it sounds and in many cases it may be impossible as we have seen from some recent tragedies. However, what can we as parents do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer. Our role is vital in giving our girls skills in supporting themselves.
Consider:
• always talk positively to your girl and reassure them that they are worthwhile and a valued member of the family. Use effective language around them that makes them feel good about themselves. Definitely no put downs or sarcasm that can lead to feelings of doubt about themselves. Take care to ensure that male siblings treat their sister with respect at all times.
• Encourage their independence affirming them when they show an ability to initiate and create new ways of being. Let them be themselves.
• Allow them to have a strong voice in the family. When they have something to say we listen with interest and belief in the worthwhile nature of what they have to say.
• Encourage them to play sport and get involved in team games building personal stamina and physical fitness. Sport is great for building leadership qualities. A strong girl is one that can engage across many environments and is constantly growing physically, intellectually and emotionally.
• Formal education is a wonderful way to escape social dependency. When a girl is articulate and feels a capable learner, they are using their intellect to feel strong. This is a wonderful way of self empowerment. Education is liberating.
• In their tentative years they will be in and out of friendship groups. Keep the conversations alive about how important their friendship groups are to making them feel stronger. They will have disappointments, but hopefully will learn who really constitutes a true friend.
• Take care not to be quick to place judgement on their decisions. They need to feel that their opinions count. This is where you keep talking to them. Have healthy discussions about what they value and let them see how you are happy to negotiate with them to ease them into more independence. Their voice counts in your family.
• Modelling your own beliefs about how girls should be treated is vital as an effective parent. Show them that you will not tolerate poor treatment of women in your own life and you have high expectations of their ability to be successful.
• Talk about some great examples of womanhood that you admire. Talk about what makes them strong and encourage your girl to aspire to being a strong, capable women.
These ideas are just to remind us that as parents we can start to develop positive thinking in our girls about their self worth and capabilities from a very early age. A girl's foundational years can strongly influence their self perception and their confidence and intuition to make well informed decisions that will give them happy outcomes in their life. We want them fully in charge of themselves.
A Few Tips on keeping a Calm Household
Navigating the hustle and bustle of family life can sometimes leave us feeling worn out and frazzled. Staying calm during the busy week can be hard. Here are some simple tips from Gail Smith to help reduce tension at home with your child.
We all know that busy families make for busy lives which of course leads to tiredness and tension from time to time. It is natural that being calm and steady throughout the busy week can almost become impossible. Below are a few simple tips on reducing weekly domestic tension with your child.
Try to be less a perfectionist. This can make you very unsettled if in a busy week your ideal plan does not go well. Remember you are dealing with children and their lives are messy and changing frequently. Being more flexible and less demanding of expectations on your part will make life easier.
Try to keep to routines and have schedules clearly visible for all to see. A child feels more secure when they know predicable patterns across the week occur. They are more unsettled when change occurs.
Plenty of sleep for everyone in the house is important. You need it as much as your child. Find some personal time in the day, just a few moments that you can call you own. How about that coffee in a cafe for five minutes?
On the weekend check in with your child for the week ahead. Talk about expectations you have and also discuss those days where your child will need to be contributing more. Getting them involved in planning the week ahead is vital for success.
When your child talks to you remember to be an effective listener. This may mean that you say, “I can't talk right now but after school we will sit down and I can listen to what you have to say.” Follow through with this as your child will not forget.
Use bedtime as a time to have more intimate chats with your child. They love to feel special and to know that you are really available.
With younger children talk at a slower pace if you are giving instructions. They will listen and respond better if they understand what you want from them.
During the day keep regular affirmations going. This gives your child reassurance that all is well. 'I love the way you pack your lunch for school. It makes a difference in getting to school on time.'
When having a stressed moment stop and take a deep breath before your respond to your child. It can make such a difference with your response which will carry less frustration to your child.
Try to keep down the clutter in the house. A very cluttered and disorganized environment makes for less calm children.
At the end of a week assess with your child how it all went. Were their positive moments and did you both get the best from the way it was organized? Being reflective may make for a better week next time.
All children work towards independence. From an early age they seek to do things on their own. This actually makes them happier. Consider whether you can give your child more responsibility for themselves. They will love the independence. Don't worry too much when it all goes poorly. Mistakes happen. That is how we all learn.
Be well aware of what is happening at school. There is nothing more frustrating than catching up with news when it is all too late. Read notices, plan ahead for dress up days. Etc. You will enjoy your child's school much more by being engaged.
Homework can be a stressful time for the household. Work out the best time for your child to do homework and have it set up in a comfortable, light filled space. You will be more relaxed knowing that your child is in an optimum environment for homework to be done. Also remember that teachers set homework and that if a child is struggling refer it back to the teacher.
Finally we live in an ever changing world with our child. There are always reasons why change must occur or plans altered due to illness, fatigue etc. Expect the unexpected but don't place the burden on yourself when everything does not go to plan. Flexibility and creativity will get you through those tricky moments.
“A parent who understands the changing nature of family, not only survives but thrives.”
Unlocking Creativity: Fun and Imaginative Activities for Parents to Inspire Their Children
Discover the incredible power you have as a parent to spark your child's imagination and creativity! Join Gail Smith, as she uncovers simple yet effective ways to inspire creativity right in your own home. You'll be amazed at what you can create together!
Be creative with your child. It is a wonderful way to engage and to do things together that are memorable and intellectually stimulating.
Consider:
Embark on storytelling adventures with your child. This could involve creating collaborative stories where each family member adds a sentence or taking turns inventing characters and plot twists. This is great for language development as well.
Provide ideas for artistic exploration, such as setting up a "creation station" with various art supplies and letting your child experiment with different mediums and techniques. It doesn’t need to be tidied up regularly.
Share simple and safe science experiments that you can do with your child at home. From creating homemade volcanoes to experimenting with colour-changing potions, these hands-on activities will spark curiosity and encourage scientific exploration.
As a family go on outdoor nature hunts, where your child can use their senses to explore the natural world around them. Consider creating scavenger hunt lists or nature bingo cards to guide their exploration and encourage observation skills. Give them a magnifying glass to explore what’s in the grass. It is great fun.
There are so many benefits of dramatic play in fostering creativity and imagination. As the parent you can set up themed dress-up corners or provide props and costumes for children to act out their own stories, plays, or adventures.
Consider musical exploration by exposing your child to a variety of musical genres and instruments. From creating homemade instruments to having dance parties, there are endless opportunities for musical discovery and expression.
Share kid-friendly cooking and baking recipes that parents can make with their children. Cooking together not only teaches valuable life skills but also encourages creativity and experimentation in the kitchen. Creating mess can be a healthy thing!
Consider building and construction challenges using materials like LEGO, blocks, or recycled materials. You can challenge your child to build tall towers, intricate structures, or imaginative worlds, fostering spatial reasoning and problem-solving skills. Find a safe and suitable space in the house to
spread out with all the blocks.
As the parent, offer tips for creating imaginative play spaces within the home, such as building forts, creating sensory bins, or transforming cardboard boxes into playhouses. These dedicated spaces provide your child with opportunities for open-ended play and imaginative exploration.
Cultivate a love for reading and storytelling by sharing a variety of books and stories with your child. Engage your child in discussions about characters, settings, and plot lines, inspiring their imagination and creativity. Try dramatizing sections of the book.
It is amazing how you the parent can inspire your child to be imaginative and creative. Look within your own home to find ways and means to be creative. You do not need to look far.
“A creative, imaginative child has an insatiable appetite for learning.”
Nurturing a Growth Mindset in Your Child
How do you encourage positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever? Dive into the world of positivity and belief in your child's potential with Gail Smith, as she unveils the secrets to fostering a growth mindset in your child.
In simple terms this is all about encouraging positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever.
Consider the following:
Explain to your child the concept of a growth mindset versing a fixed mindset, highlighting the importance of believing in one's ability to improve through effort and practice.
As a parent celebrate when your child tackles a difficult task or shows resilience in the face of challenges. Let them see that effort is rewarding.
As the parent, help your child re frame statements like "I can't do this" to "I can't do this yet," emphasizing the idea of growth and progress over time. It’s about never say never.
As the parent model a growth mindset in your own life. Share stories of your own challenges and successes, demonstrating perseverance and a positive attitude towards learning.
Parents can provide constructive feedback to their child that focuses on effort, progress, and specific actions rather than fixed traits or abilities. Use phrases like, "I noticed you worked really hard on that" or "What strategies did you try?"
Set realistic, achievable goals that align with your child’s interests and abilities. Involve your child in the goal-setting process and celebrate milestones along the way. All goals should be reasonable.
Provide a supportive home environment that encourages exploration, curiosity, and a love for learning. This could include having a designated study space, providing access to educational resources, and engaging in activities that foster creativity and critical thinking.
Re frame mistakes as valuable learning opportunities rather than failures. Discuss strategies for helping your child learn from their mistakes, such as problem-solving, reflection, and seeking help when needed. Making mistakes is a human process.
Celebrate your child's growth and progress, no matter how small. This could involve creating a growth mindset journal where children document their achievements and areas of improvement or holding a "growth mindset celebration" to recognize efforts.
Offer consistent support, encouragement, and reassurance to your child as they navigate challenges and strive for growth. Not everything will be perfect but their efforts are given much encouragement.
As your child grows they need to grow with a positive mindset where there is much personal belief and a sense that all is possible.
“Courage to continue matters more than success or failure”
A few tips to keep the household happy
We all want a happy and contented home, but we also know how quickly a peaceful home can turn into a tense one. Gail Smith has some practical tips that could help keep your household a happy and safe environment for your children.
We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.
Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.
Consider:
keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.
Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?
Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.
Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.
Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.
At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.
Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.
Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.
Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.
Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.
Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.
Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.
These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.
“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”
Build self confidence in your child. You can make a big difference.
Empowering your child with self-confidence is like giving them the keys to steer their own life's journey. Dive into Gail Smith’s tips for fun and effective ways to nurture and boost your child’s belief in themselves.
Never underestimate the difference you can make for your child’s self confidence. Your child trusts your judgement and above all believes in you as their mentor and life support. They take what you say very seriously and need your reassurance. Here are some examples of how to keep up the important role of boosting their self confidence.
Encourage your child to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Whether it's mastering a new skill, completing a task independently, or showing kindness to others, take the time to celebrate their successes.
Provide specific and genuine praise for your child's efforts and accomplishments. Instead of just saying "good job," highlight what they did well and why it matters. They need to understand why they are receiving the praise, so label it.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk by affirming their strengths and abilities. Tell them how you like to hear them talk about their achievements out loud.
Help your child set realistic goals that they can work towards. Break larger goals into smaller steps and celebrate each milestone. This helps build a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Also they need to receive regular reassurance especially younger children.
Encourage your child to take healthy risks and step out of their comfort zone. Whether it's trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or making new friends. Teach them that making mistakes is part of life.
Give your child opportunities to make decisions and choices independently. Whether it's choosing what to wear, what to eat for snack, or what game to play, they will be more personally satisfied and more engaged in activities etc. if they take responsibility.
Teach your child resilience by helping them bounce back from setbacks and failures. Encourage them to learn from mistakes, problem-solve, and persevere in the face of challenges. Talk about how you do this in your life.
Be a positive role model for self-confidence by demonstrating confidence in yourself. Show your child how to handle challenges and how to embrace your strengths and weaknesses. Be authentic when you talk about yourself and all your foibles.
Above all, provide your child with unconditional love, acceptance, and support. Let them know that you believe in them, no matter what, and that you are always there to help them succeed.
You love them for who they are and in all circumstances.
Building self confidence in your child is all about teaching them that they can confidently be in charge of their own lives as time progresses. Here we are building emotional intelligence.
“Confident, happy children feel good about themselves and achieve well. It’s natural.”
Some simple ideas to slow down tension at home
Managing a bustling household often leads to tension, with everyone juggling tasks and schedules. To avoid potential issues, try these simple tips for a more harmonious home. Remember, small changes can make a big difference, so be kind to yourself as you navigate the challenges of parenting.
Busy home life can mean a build up of tension as everyone rushes around to complete jobs, homework, work schedules, sport practice etc. There is no shortage of activities that need to be done and as tension builds we can find ourselves angry and behaving in ways that we regret later.
Here are some simple suggestions to ward off problems that can arise from running a busy household where tension can easily build.
When you find yourself angry at some behaviour, take time out. It may only be a few minutes but it will slow down heightened feelings of anger and give you a chance to respond in a calmer way.
Be proactive. If you see some potential ares in which trouble can be brewing try to change patterns. For example, if siblings are fighting can you separate them to have time apart.
If you find yourself very tired, perhaps lighten your load and don’t expect as much of yourself on that day. Fatigue is a great stimulant for losing patience quickly.
When solving problems with your child choose language that is simple and uncomplicated. When a child is stressed they will not always hear everything you say, so keep it simple and to the point.
Avoid triggers that will set you off in an angry state. Also consider the triggers that set off your child. Are there some situations that can be avoided. Prevention is better that cure.
Practice breathing exercises. The more you learn to be calm and breathe well when a difficult situation presents itself, the better you will mange the situation.
Sometimes you can let things go! Consider, does everything have to be solved. Decide which is best, to be happy or to be right all the time.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to check in on why you are upset. Is it necessary? Is it really an issue for you?
Think about how damaging it is to the family to be angry and upset. Think about its importance to be resolved.
Remember the big picture. In the schema of life do you need to be angry over so many things. Consider that being a good enough parent is what is adequate. After all your journey with your child will be over many years. What can you let go that will make your life easier?
We do not live in a perfect world. Families can be a messy business and we have many pressures on us as parents to always make the best decisions for our children. Take little steps and be gentle on yourself as a parent. Allow your human side to be evident to all and find a peaceful style of working with your children.
“Children do not need us to shape them. They need us to respond to who they are.”
Supporting your child with homework and developing good study habits
Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings homework to complete. Discover with Gail Smith why supporting your children's efforts and valuing extended learning at home is crucial. Be a pillar of support for your child's educational journey!
Homework can be controversial in many teaching circles. However, if a child is given homework, it is important to support their efforts and let it be seen that extended learning from school is valued in your home and you will be a support.
Consider the following:
Set aside a designated time and space for homework each day to create a consistent routine. This helps children develop a sense of structure and responsibility. Find a comfortable space for your child in which to complete the homework.
Break down homework assignments into smaller, more manageable tasks. Encourage your child to focus on completing one task at a time. Sometimes they can be daunted by looking at the amount of work to do overnight or in a few days.
Do not labour over homework tasks that the child is finding too difficult. Stress that they can discuss it with the teacher on the next day. After all the teacher set the homework.
Create a quiet and organized study space free from distractions, such as television or electronic devices. Offer support and encouragement as needed, but encourage independence and problem-solving skills. Watch the time that the homework is completed. Doing homework when a child is tired or anxious
is doomed for failure.
Teach your child effective time management skills, such as prioritizing tasks, setting goals, and creating a homework schedule. Help them learn to plan their homework out well.
Encourage your child to take regular breaks during homework sessions to rest and recharge. Encourage physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep to support overall well-being. Create an enjoyable atmosphere around homework time.
Provide guidance and support when needed, but avoid completing assignments for your child. Encourage them to ask questions, seek clarification from teachers, and use available resources such as textbooks, websites, or tutoring services. Take care not to get in an argument about their completing homework when they are struggling with the activity. This is where you need teacher intervention.
Encourage a growth mindset by praising effort, persistence, and improvement rather than focusing solely on grades or outcomes. Let their homework time be a time for learning in an inquiring way but with no tension.
Celebrate your child's successes and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and motivation to continue working hard.
Stay informed about your child's progress and any challenges they may be facing with homework. Communicate regularly with teachers to address concerns and seek additional support or resources if needed. Talk to their teacher about your child’s capacity to do the homework.
Model good study habits and a positive attitude toward learning in your own behaviour. Let your child see you reading, learning, and problem-solving in your daily life. Perhaps you could sometimes have a quite study time while they are doing their homework
There are various professional opinions about the value of homework. Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings home work to complete. Let them see that learning is ongoing and not just between the school hours.
“Teach your child that learning happens all the time. Homework is merely one component of a very big picture.”
Understanding difficult behaviour
Parenting can get tricky, especially when dealing with difficult behaviour. Check out Gail Smith’s suggestions on handling those challenging moments with your child.
Parenting has many aspects to it. However, one of the most complex aspects is dealing with difficult behaviour. It will happen from time to time and as a parent it is all about what you tolerate and what you believe is acceptable behaviour. One of the very best things you can do is to teach your child to behave well. Your modelling and teaching is vital in this area.
Let’s consider how difficult behaviour can manifest itself:
Children with high activity or are clearly unsettled are more likely to misbehave
Sometimes it’s all about attention seeking.
Perhaps getting their own way is important to them.
Sometimes revenge to show how angry they are.
A child will model bad behaviour from other children.
It can happen when guidelines are unclear at home.
Some children need to be specifically taught the correct behaviour.
When a child is stressed. Difficult behaviour can be an outcome.
These are only a few examples of why poor behaviour can happen. Consider tackling the difficult behaviour in the following way:
Listen effectively to what they have to say. This is active listening.
Then talk about ways to address their concerns.
Some negotiation may be need. Work together on this plan.
Then together think about a resolution which may involve consequences for the child. This is real problem solving.
Check in later after action has been taken and affirm your child for going through the process.
Prevention is better than cure so think about why the problem behaviour has occurred. The more you understand, the less problems will continue to evolve.
“When you catch their good behaviour, reward well. It’s the best antidote to misbehaviour.”