Persevering as a parent makes such a difference to your child

At times it can be so difficult to keep up the parenting especially when you are tired and have a lot on your mind. Of course simply toning down the parenting is a great idea to ease some pressure from you, but your endurance and doing the hard yards will pay off.

Consider when you are consistent:

You build strong Bonds

Perseverance fosters deep, lasting relationships. By sticking with your child through thick and thin, you create a strong bond built on trust and love. This connection provides a safe foundation for them to grow and thrive.

You model Resilience

Children learn by watching their parents. When they see you handling challenges with grace and determination, they learn resilience. This invaluable lesson will help them navigate their own obstacles in life with courage and confidence.

You encourage Independence

Through consistent support and guidance, children gain the confidence to explore and learn on their own. Your perseverance helps them develop the skills and independence needed to succeed in the world.

You foster Emotional Stability

Children need stability to feel secure. By being a constant presence in their lives, you provide a sense of security that allows them to express their emotions freely and develop a healthy emotional foundation.

You celebrate Milestones Together

Persevering through the tough times makes the joyous moments even sweeter. Celebrating your child's achievements, big or small, becomes more meaningful when you’ve been there every step of the way.

You create a Legacy of Love

Your unwavering support leaves a lasting impact on your child's life. They will remember your love and dedication and likely pass these values on to their own children, creating a legacy of love and perseverance that spans generations.

Above all, remember that you are human and there is no such thing as a perfect parent. When you are feeling vulnerable, be honest and tell your child that today is not my best day and perhaps we will do things differently. Your child simply wants honesty and acceptance. They will respond better to your moods and temperament if they understand them better.

“Be open and honest with your child: it pays off overtime.”

— Gail J Smith

Self Care Tips for Busy Parents

A tired parent will struggle to offer their best to their child. As a parent, remember that your well-being is important in managing all the roles you are asked to fill. The happier you feel about your own well-being, the better you will parent your child. Every busy day, there should be some space for yourself.

Here are nine suggestions to build your own personal well being package.

Mini Meditation Sessions

Make five minutes each day for a quick meditation session. Use a meditation app or simply sit quietly, focusing on your breath. Even short moments of mindfulness can reduce stress and improve mental clarity.

Prioritize Sleep

Establish a consistent bedtime routine and aim for quality sleep. Even if you can't get a full eight hours, prioritise rest by winding down with a book, reducing screen time before bed, and creating a calming sleep environment.

Move Your Body

Incorporate short bursts of physical activity into your day. A 10-minute walk, a quick yoga session, or a brief dance break with your kids can boost your mood and energy levels.

Delegate Tasks

Don't be afraid to ask for help or delegate tasks. Share household responsibilities with your partner or older children, and consider outsourcing certain chores if possible, such as grocery delivery or hiring a cleaner. Ask yourself the question, “does everything need to be done today?”

Enjoy a Hobby

Set aside a few minutes each day or week for an activity you love, whether it's reading, knitting, painting, or gardening. Engaging in a hobby can be a great way to relax and recharge.

Connect with Friends

Schedule regular catch-ups with friends, even if it's just a quick phone call or a virtual coffee chat. Maintaining social connections is important for emotional well-being and can provide a much-needed support system.

Practice Gratitude:

Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on what you're grateful for. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply noting three things you're thankful for can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.

Take Micro-Breaks:

Throughout your day, take micro-breaks to stretch, breathe deeply, or simply step outside for a moment. These short pauses can help refresh your mind and reduce accumulated stress.

Develop a Sense of Humour.

When you laugh especially at yourself you feel better and begin to take things less seriously. This is great for your well being.

Mindfulness teaches us to focus on the moment and to enjoy the experience that we are living in at the time. By developing an optimistic outlook and celebrating the great work you are doing, rather than questioning what isn’t done well, will soften your feelings about yourself and enable you to savour the day.

Taking time to rest and recharge yourself makes you more attentive as a parent

-Gail J Smith

Keep A Look Out For Signs Of Stress In Your Child

We live in a world where we intermittently check in on our children's mental health. The pressures through social media and other youth-driven challenges alert us to the need to be vigilant. Below are some known triggers that can be a sign of unacceptable stress in your child. Some stress is normal, and we live with it, finding ways to work it through our life. However, when stress is out of control, we need to intervene.  Occasionally tap into your child's well-being index by checking in to these signs:

Changes in Sleep Patterns

Difficulty falling or staying asleep or frequent nightmares can indicate stress. Conversely, a child may sleep excessively to escape stressful feelings.

Behavioural Changes

Increased irritability, mood swings, or withdrawal from family and friends can be signs of stress. A usually outgoing child becoming withdrawn or a calm child suddenly acting out can be indicators.

Physical Symptoms

 Complaints of headaches, stomachaches, or other unexplained physical symptoms can manifest as stress. These symptoms often occur without a medical cause and can be recurring.

Academic Performance

 A sudden drop in grades, lack of interest in school, or difficulty concentrating on schoolwork can be signs of stress. Stress can impact cognitive functions and overall academic engagement. Always check first with the teacher.

Changes in Eating Habits

Noticeable changes in appetite, such as eating much more or much less than usual, can be a response to stress. This includes skipping meals or binge eating.

Regression to Earlier Behaviours

 Reverting to behaviours typical of a younger age, such as bed wetting, clinginess, or thumb-sucking, can indicate that a child is experiencing stress and is seeking comfort.

 Frequent Crying

A child who cries easily or often without a clear reason may be experiencing stress. This can be a way for them to release pent-up emotions.

Avoidance Behaviours

 A child might try to avoid certain situations or activities that they previously enjoyed, or that are typical for their age group. This could include avoiding school, social events, or specific tasks.

Increased Dependency

 A stressed child may become more clingy or dependent on their parents or caregivers, seeking constant reassurance and comfort.

Excessive Worrying or Fearfulness

Persistent worry about various aspects of their life, including school, family, or friends, can be a sign of stress. This might manifest as asking repetitive questions about upcoming events or expressing fears that seem disproportionate to the situation.

When you build a relationship that is open and honest with your child, you will find that your child is more willing to talk to you about their feelings of stress. The above thoughts are just a guiding tool to raise your awareness of symptoms of unacceptable stress that may appear in your child from time to time.

 The stress your child feels will be lightened by your ever loving and understanding presence.  -Gail J Smith

Be Authentic With Your Child - It Builds Strong And Trusting Relationships

 Builds Trust

When you are honest and genuine with your child, you build a foundation of trust. They learn that they can rely on you to be truthful, which strengthens your bond and makes them feel secure. This means that they will come to you more with tricky problems.

Models Healthy Relationships

Being real with your child shows them how to have healthy, authentic relationships. They see how to express their feelings, communicate openly, and resolve conflicts, which are vital skills for their future interactions. This encourages strong stable friendships with others.

 Encourages Emotional Growth

Children learn how to process and express their emotions by observing their parents. When you are authentic about your own feelings, you teach your child that it's okay to feel and express a wide range of emotions. Your child becomes less intimidated to express their feelings in front of others.

 Promotes Self-Acceptance

When parents are real, it shows children that it's okay to be themselves. They learn that they don't have to hide their true selves to be loved and accepted, fostering their self-esteem and self-acceptance. This is all about liking yourself, and you do not need to prove anything to others.

 Enhances Communication

Being genuine encourages open and honest communication. Your child will feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings with you, leading to better understanding and connection. This means they feel in an environment of complete trust.

 Prepares Them for the Real World

Life isn't always perfect, and being authentic helps your child understand this reality. They learn to deal with disappointments, setbacks, and challenges more effectively when they see their parents handling real-life situations with honesty and resilience.

Being authentic allows you to be yourself in all its glory and with all its failures. Your child needs to see the real you and to learn from your life journey. It is so much easier parenting when you are not pretending to be something different.

Never Underestimate How Important You Are To Your Child At Any Age

How easy it is to forget the value that our children place on us. At times we feel their trust and love have diminished but it actually hibernates for a while as they grow through different stages. Our children are on a mission from childbirth to be independent and that journey can often challenge their relationship with us. However, their great desire is ultimately to take us with them into adulthood. The thoughts below are an excellent reminder of how valuable we are to our children.

• Parents are the original Google. They answer endless questions about the world, from why the sky is blue to why you can't have ice cream for breakfast (even though they secretly wish they could too).

• No matter how many times you "decorate" the walls with crayons or bring home a pet frog, parents love you anyway. They're the ultimate cheerleaders, always in your corner.

• Parents show you how to be an adult. From tying your shoes to filing taxes, they model the art of surviving and thriving in the grown-up world. Plus, they’re living proof that yes, you can survive without a nap.

• Parents are like a safety net in a circus act. When life gets wobbly, they're there to catch you, dust you off, and send you back into the ring, with a little more wisdom each time.

• Whether it's a skinned knee or a broken heart, parents are the go-to fixers. They're like emotional band-aids, always ready to make the hurt feel a little less painful with a hug or a cookie.

• Parents teach you the difference between right and wrong, like why it's not okay to swipe your sibling's dessert (even if they weren't eating it fast enough).

• From cooking a meal to changing a tyre, parents equip you with the skills you need to navigate life. They're the original DIY experts, minus the YouTube tutorials.

• Parents can be surprisingly fun. They tell the best (or worst) jokes, make silly faces, and sometimes dance in the kitchen like no one is watching, even when everyone is.

Every now and again, when you feel the fatigue of parenting or think that you are making no difference, keep in mind that parenting is a long-haul process. It is not so much geared to short-term success, but it is more about the ongoing support and unconditional love you show them.

If you are emotionally and physically present for your child, you are a parent with impact.

Gail J Smith

The importance of your child attending school regularly

Once a child gets out of the pattern of attending school regularly various issues can develop which further exacerbates their interest in attending. We need our children to be keen and interested in school. When they feel that it is important for them to attend you can feel reassured that they are engaged with the school environment.

Here are five reasons why regular attendance is so necessary for a well adjusted child at school:

Academic Achievement:

• Consistent attendance ensures students don't miss important lessons and activities, leading to better understanding of the material and higher academic performance. The child who misses important lessons soon feels they are not a success. They feel that others are smarter than them. This can lead to disengagement from their work.

Skill Development:

• Regular attendance helps students develop essential skills such as time management, responsibility, and discipline, which are crucial for future success. A child needs and responds to the setting of boundaries and being in routines.

Social Interaction:

• Attending school regularly allows children to build and maintain friendships, improving their social skills and providing emotional support through peer interactions. Regular friendship contact gives a child reassurance and they feel socially satisfied.

Access to Resources:

• Regular attendance provides students with access to school resources like libraries, labs, and extracurricular activities, enhancing their learning experience and personal growth.

Preparation for the Future:

• Consistent school attendance establishes a routine and work ethic that prepares students for future education and employment, instilling a sense of commitment and reliability. When they lose this momentum they can feel lost and quite disconnected from their peers.

It does require effort on the part of the family but each morning is important in getting everyone up in time to face the day.

“When your child is fully engaged at school, they seldom become anxious about getting ready to leave in the morning.”

— Gail J Smith

How to choose the best school for your child?

At this stage of the year many parents are reflecting on where to send their first child to school. It is also useful for all parents of children in schools to reflect on what your school is currently offering your child. Is it living up to those expectations you have of it? Is your child happy at school?

Here are some reflections on how you can research your local schools. Keep in mind though that your participation and engagement with that school will make all the difference to your child's success in that environment.

Consider:

• Consider the school's proximity to your home or workplace for ease of commute and involvement. Also consider your child will establish friends at that school and this will impact on your social life at home as often children want to play with friends outside of school hours.

• Look at the school’s curriculum and special programs to see if they align with your child’s learning style and interests. Is the school looking into optional programs to support various children's needs?

• Smaller class sizes often mean more individual attention for your child. Check the teacher- student ratio. Consider is the school likely to grow in numbers quickly as that will affect class sizes?

• Research the school’s reputation through reviews from other parents, online ratings, and talking to local community members.

• Ensure the school offers a range of extracurricular activities that match your child’s interests, such as sports, arts, or clubs.

• Visit the school to get a feel for its culture and values. Make sure it aligns with your family’s values and supports a positive environment. Attend functions such as s school fairs to get a feel for the environment.

• Check the quality of the school’s facilities, including classrooms, libraries, sports areas, and technology. Are their any plans for new buildings, renovations etc.?

• Find out what support services are available, such as counselling, special education, and tutoring programs.

• Assess how the school communicates with parents and the opportunities available for parental involvement.

• Review the school’s safety protocols and discipline policies to ensure a secure and well- managed environment.

• Look at the school’s performance data, such as test scores and graduation rates, to gauge academic success. Take care though that this is only one feature of a school. Your child's learning is very holistic and they will need development in their social, emotional and physical development alongside side the intellectual development.

• Take a tour of the school, meet the staff, and observe classes to get a firsthand impression.

A school can be many things to children. Primarily they need to feel welcomed and believe that they can safely learn in that environment. No school environment is perfect. What is important is that your child feels strongly connected to the school and can grow with confidence and the reassurance that everyone is there for them.

“The quality of your child’s education at any school will be enriched by your relationship to that school.”

— Gail J Smith

Information every parent should know about their child's school

Every school is different. The culture is different and how a school thinks and operates varies. As a parent, keeping in touch with your child's school, is the key to getting the best from the experience. Here are some ideas facts that you should consider so that you understand and gain a rich experience from the school as a parent.

• Know the daily schedule, including start and end times, and keep track of important dates like holidays, parent-teacher conferences, and special events.

• Understand what subjects are being taught and any key projects or assignments your child will have throughout the year. Teachers will publish all these details often early in the year.

• Get to know your child’s teachers, their teaching styles, and how to contact them for any concerns or questions. Every teacher will have a different style and knowing them will help you understand what they have to say.

• Familiarize yourself with the school’s policies on attendance, discipline, homework, and dress code. A school will always rely on their major policies especially when things go wrong.

• Learn about the extracurricular options available, such as sports teams, clubs, and arts programs, and encourage your child to participate.

• Be aware of any support services the school offers, like counselling, special education, tutoring, and health services.

• Find out how you can get involved, whether through volunteering, joining the PTA, or attending school board meetings. There are many day events across the year and perhaps tapping into these occasions will give you more awareness of school life.

• Know how the school communicates with parents (emails, newsletters, apps) and stay updated on any announcements or alerts.

• Understand the school’s safety protocols, including procedures for emergencies, lock downs, and how they handle bullying.

• Learn about the school’s culture, values, and any unique programs or initiatives they have to support student development.

• Know the details of your child's transportation options, including bus routes, pick-up/drop- off times, and safety rules.

Schools are complex places but when you feel connected to the school, doors are open a lot easier and your knowledge of school life will ease your anxieties when unhealthy rumours spread. It is simply a matter of being in touch across the year and together with your child, enjoying the experience of learning.

“Your child’s school should be a happy learning space for yourself as well as your child.”

— Gail J Smith

Let’s remind ourselves that as parents we are doing a great job

Never underestimate the great work you are doing with your child. We live in a very imperfect world and parenting comes with its ups and downs. Sometimes we find that efforts we are making are having an impact on our child. Sometimes we feel a failure in that our child’s understanding and interest in their parents diminishes.

Here are some reflections to remind us all that our efforts are not in vain and that you will be currently making a difference for your child in many ways, some seen but many unseen.

Consider:

• Your love and guidance are the foundations upon which your child's future is built. Every hug and every moment you spend together shapes who they become. None of your efforts are ever lost.

• You are your child's first and most important teacher. The lessons you impart, through both words and actions, will resonate with them throughout their lives.

• Your support and belief in your child's potential can turn their dreams into reality. Your encouragement is a powerful force that fuels their confidence and ambition. They heavily rely on it.

• The warmth and security you provide create a safe space for your child to explore the world. Your presence gives them the courage to take risks and learn from their experiences.

• Every moment you spend with your child, no matter how small, leaves a lasting impression. Your time and attention are priceless gifts that they will cherish forever.

• Your positivism and resilience in the face of challenges teach your child how to navigate life's ups and downs. They will observe carefully how you navigate your way through life’s challenges.

• The values and principles you instill in your child will guide them long after they leave your home.

• Your influence shapes their character and their approach to life. They may vary somewhat from your values but you will influence their big decisions and life’s choices by your modelling.

• Your love is the constant in your child's life, a beacon that guides them through their formative years. This unconditional support helps them grow into happy, confident individuals believing in themselves.

• By simply being present and involved, you are making a profound difference in your child's life.

• Your engagement and involvement are keys to their success and well-being. They need and want your presence and your approval.

• Every time you listen, every time you show empathy, you teach your child the importance of understanding and compassion. These lessons in kindness will ripple through their interactions with others. They will prefer to operate in that way.

• Your belief in your child's abilities can inspire them to reach for the stars. When they see you believe in them, they start to believe in themselves too.

• The love and joy you share as a family create memories that your child will carry with them for a lifetime. This is all about developing emotional intelligence.

• Your actions, words and deeds are the blueprint your child uses to navigate the world. The positive example you set today will guide their decisions tomorrow.

• Your patience and understanding during tough times show your child that they are loved unconditionally. This reassurance builds their resilience and self-worth."

“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.”

— -Jane D Hull

Helping your child navigate social challenges at school

There will always different forms of social challenges at school. There is no denying it and when your child navigates those occasions well, they grow both in intellectual and social maturity. Here are some ideas to support them:

1. Teach Effective Communication:

   Role-play with your child to practice different communication scenarios, such as how to ask for help, express their feelings, or resolve conflicts with classmates. Teach them how to express an ‘I’ statement that clearly states their feelings.  For example: “I am sad that… I am unhappy when you….”

2. Encourage Empathy and Kindness:

   Discuss real-life situations with your child where empathy made a difference, like helping a friend who was feeling sad or being inclusive during group activities. Also your modelling in demonstrating empathy and kindness are so important.

3. Promote Social Skills Development:

   Enrol your child in extracurricular activities like drama, art, or team sports to improve their social skills, teamwork, and cooperation. Regularly engagement in sports and other group activities also teaches self discipline, learning to accept disappointments etc.

4. Provide Problem-Solving Strategies:

   Share the "STOP" strategy with your child (Stop, Think, Options, Pick one), which can help them make thoughtful choices when faced with social challenges. Also teach about negotiation and resolving conflicts where compromise and understanding are included.

5. Foster Resilience:

   When your child encounters setbacks or rejection, discuss the importance of learning from failures and trying again, emphasising that challenges are opportunities for growth. Talk about famous people who have experienced failure in their efforts to be successful.

6. Open Lines of Communication:

   Create a safe and non-judgmental environment at home for your child to share their experiences and concerns about school. Regularly ask open-ended questions like, "How was your day?" to encourage conversation. Remember that in being non-judgmental your child will feel safe in talking about matters that are on their mind.

Encourage your child to be an optimistic and to feel that they can overcome social issues that they `come across. Let them learn (from the above suggestions) that there are many ways and means to work through social challenges. Of course the more personally confident a child becomes the easier the process of working more confidently through social challenges.

‘Promise me you’ll always remember:

you’re braver than you believe,

 and stronger than you see,

and smarter that you think.

- Christopher Robin

Helping our children to love reading

The world our children live in today is filled with so much stimulus from television and so many forms of entertainment on social media platforms. It is no wonder reading from a book can seem so mundane and boring. It can be a challenge to excite and motivate some children and therefore not an easy task for parents.

Here are some ideas to encourage and stimulate your child’s interest in reading. We all need to eat a balanced diet and in this case our children need that balanced diet between books and other forms of entertainment.

Consider:

• Create a Cosy Reading Nook: Designate a special, comfortable spot in the house just for reading. It should be well lit and very inviting to the child. Fill it with soft cushions, good lighting, and a variety of books. Only use it for this purpose.

• Model Reading Behaviour: Let your children see you reading regularly. This sets a positive example and shows that reading is an enjoyable activity. Leave a few books scattered around the house. This gives a strong message that reading is encouraged.

• Start a Family Book Club: Choose a book to read together as a family and discuss it. This can be a fun way to bond and share insights about the story. Perhaps it can be read over dinner. This could become a family ritual to read together.

• Incorporate Reading into Daily Routines: Integrate reading into everyday activities, such as reading a recipe while cooking, signs while driving, or instructions for a game. Encourage your child to do the reading and to give you guidance from what they have read.

• Visit Libraries and Bookstores: Make trips to the library or bookstore a regular family outing. Let your children explore and pick out books that interest them. Spend time together just browsing.

• Read Aloud Together: Take turns reading aloud with your child. This can make reading a shared, enjoyable experience and help with their fluency and expression. Also talk about the story together as you each read a section.

• Use Technology Wisely: Leverage e-books and reading apps if your child is tech-savvy. Interactive and animated e-books can be particularly engaging for younger children.

• Offer a Variety of Reading Materials: Provide access to different genres and types of reading materials - comics, graphic novels, magazines, and newspapers can be just as valuable as traditional books. It is all about the enjoyment of reading. Take care not to influence their preferences.

• Set Reading Goals and Rewards: Create a fun reading challenge with rewards for meeting goals, such as stickers for each book read or a special treat after finishing a certain number of books. Celebrate the reading of books in the family.

• Create a Reading Schedule: Designate a specific time each day for reading. Consistency can help make reading a habit.

• Connect Books with Interests: Find books that align with your child's hobbies and interests. If they love dinosaurs, get them dinosaur books; if they’re into space, find books about astronauts and planets.

• Encourage Storytelling: Have your child create their own stories. This can spark an interest in reading as they see the connection between storytelling and books. Invite them to simply make up stories and enjoy listening to them.

• Make Reading Interactive: Ask questions about the story, make predictions, and relate the content to your child’s experiences. Engaging with the text makes it more enjoyable and meaningful.

• Celebrate Authors and Illustrators: Learn about the people behind the books. Sometimes knowing about the author's or illustrator's life can spark a deeper interest in their work.

If your family is a reading family then it may be an easier process for your child to read with ease and pleasure. Sometimes less motivated children do need a push and to set up routines so that they learn the habit of reading in one form or another. A child exposed to books will at some point come to value reading.

“We read to know we are not alone.”

— C S Lewis

As a parent be involved in your child's school.

Here are several effective ways for parents to ensure excellent communication and involvement in their child's school life. The more you learn about your child's school life, the happier your child will be feeling that their school is seen by you as important.

• Regularly attending scheduled parent-teacher conferences to discuss your child's progress and address any concerns is important in being connected to the school.

• Offer to help with school events, field trips, or in the classroom to stay engaged and understand the school environment better. This is a great way to get to know the staff more informally who are teaching your child.

• Become a member of the Parent-Teacher Association or school council to stay informed and contribute to decision-making processes. Here you can have an input into school policy and curriculum development.

• Actively use school communication platforms such as emails, apps, or newsletters to stay updated on school news and your child's activities. You can always make an appointment to see your child's teacher when concerned about matters.

• Set up regular informal check-ins with your child's teacher to monitor academic and social progress. This can be casual or more formal. A spontaneous chat with the teacher can make a lot of difference in easing tensions etc.

• Set up a consistent homework routine and offer help when needed, showing interest in your child's schoolwork. Remember homework set by the teacher is the responsibility of the school. If a child is struggling with homework demand then contact the teacher.

• Go to school programs, assemblies, and performances to show support for your child's extracurricular activities. Your presence will become a powerful statement at the school.

• Attend workshops or seminars offered by the school to better understand educational methods and child development. The more comfortable you are with educational matters the easier it is to be an active member at the school.

• Get involved in school fundraisers and community events to support the school's resources and network with other parents. You learn a lot about the school culture by participating in events.

• Talk to your child daily about their school experiences, listen to their concerns, and celebrate their achievements. In this way they know that you are genuinely interested in them.

Your child spends many hours per week at school. It will become a consuming part of their life. By sharing their journey at school you are reinforcing the value of formal learning and supporting their emotional and intellectual growth that will be immensely influenced by the school environment. For that reason, you need to be part of that experience.

“A parent who engages well with the school, gains so much more enjoyment of their child.”

— Gail J Smith

Let's get our kids involved in sport and fitness

As a family you can have quite an influence on your child developing a love for physical activities and sport. Your home can become an active environment where sport and fitness are highly valued as lifestyles. As a result, your child will see that enjoying and participating in sport is a way of life.

Consider:

Be Active Together: Set aside time for family activities like biking, hiking, or playing catch. Seeing you enjoy physical activity will inspire them to join in.

Find Their Interest: Expose them to various sports and activities to see what they enjoy most. Whether it is soccer, swimming, or dance, finding something they love increases their motivation. They will one it if they choose it!

Celebrate Efforts, Not Just Wins: Praise their participation and effort in sports, not just victories. This builds confidence and demonstrates simply the joy of being involved.

Create a Fun Environment: Make physical activity fun with games and playful challenges. Organize neighbourhood play dates or mini-tournaments with their friends. Use your backyard for sporty games with balls. Netball rings etc.

Set a Routine: Incorporate regular physical activity into their daily schedule. Consistency will breed more interest in repeating the activities.

Limit Screen Time: Encourage breaks from screens by setting specific times for physical activities. This can be all part of your weekly home routine.

Involve Their Friends: Arrange play dates or group activities with their friends. Children are more likely to engage in sports if their friends are participating too.

Join a Local Team or Class: Sign them up for local sports teams or classes. Being part of a team provides structure, social interaction, and a sense of belonging, which can be very motivating. Share in the sports activities by being a coach or becoming a member of the club etc.

Set Goals and Track Progress: Help them set achievable goals and track their progress. Celebrate milestones, no matter how small, to keep them motivated and focused. Smaller and more frequent goals are the best.

Active family conversation: Be a family that enjoys talking about sports. Celebrate some great achievements that you hear about such as the Matildas and Australia winning international events etc.

Developing good mental health in your child

We hear much about the importance of strengthening our children's mental health. We understand that in childhood there are certain cues that can activate positive thoughts about themselves. Here are some suggestions to strengthen your child's mental health on those sensitive early years.

Consider:

• Be a talkative family that likes to openly discuss everything. Do this from an early age. They need to feel they can talk to you about their problems.

• Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions, as children often

  mimic their parents. Look more on the brighter side of life when working

  through problems.

• Provide structure with consistent daily routines to create a sense of stability

  and security.

• Help your child build strong, supportive friendships and connections with

  family members. Let them invite friends into your house. Accept all their

  friends they will come and go over the years.

• Encourage regular exercise, which can boost mood and overall mental well-

  being. Join them in games and physical exercise.

• Introduce simple mindfulness exercises or relaxation techniques to help your

  child manage stress. This can be done as a routine with the family. Make it an

  enjoyable time together.

• Monitor and limit the amount of time your child spends on screens to ensure

  they engage in diverse activities. Leading an active family life will help cut

  down this time.

• Support your child in exploring and developing their interests and talents. Show interest in their passions and hobbies no matter how unusual they may

  seem to you.

• Acknowledge and praise your child's efforts and achievements to build their

  self-esteem. Find the time to catch them when they are good even over small

  deeds.

• Spend quality time with your child, showing that you are there for them and

  interested in their lives. Always keep promises that you will follow up with

  conversations.

When a child lives in an environment that gives them the scope to express themselves in different ways they learn to be creative which is such a stress buster and a wonderful way to nurture good mental health.

“The foundation to good mental health in a child is to feel safe and happy in themselves.”

— Gail J Smith

Ten Steps to more effective parenting

Here is a checklist to help you reflect on some good parenting habits. As parents we are not perfect and sometimes changing life situations have a way of limiting our ability to do our best. However, it is worth checking in to see how you can from time to time improve on your parenting style. You will probably surprise yourself that you are doing a great job!

Consider:

• Always keep up boosting your child’s sense of self-worth. They need to feel valued. If it comes from you it is special.

• Notice the times when you can reward them. We call this catching them when they are good. This can be for little things, ‘How clever you are to open that box. It seems tightly sealed.’

• Setting boundaries are important. A child feels safer with boundaries and needs to be clear with the directions you give them. Try not to overload them with too many directions and instructions.

• Always find time for your child. They grow quickly but need your constant presence in their life especially when they are young.

• Your image with your child is critical if you want them to follow your values. Your modelling will have a big impact on how they see and interpret the world.

• Always work hard to make communication a key feature of your relationship. Find the time to talk to them and listen with sensitivity to what they have to say.

• As a parent you will need to be flexible and open to frequent changes. A child’s life is not static and prepare to grow yourself as a parent over the years.

• To show that your love is unconditional having a strong and constant presence in their life is so important. You will, from time to time be disappointed but your love does not come with conditions.

• Try to introduce some regular patterns into family life. This could be the ritual of a family meal together, reading at bed time etc. Children find ritual comforting.

• Try to be a positive person. We know that sound mental health can be directly linked to having a positive disposition. A child feels more secure around a happy parent.

• Try not to make judgements too quickly when your child talks to you about challenging situations. They need to feel safe talking to you without feeling that you will disapprove.

All our children ask of us is to be the best we can. That means being authentic, accepting your mistakes and treating them with the dignity and care that you wish for yourself.

“Parenthood... it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last.’”

— Peter Krause

What do we as parents expect from our children?

Sometimes it is worthwhile to reflect on what we expect from our children. In doing this we can challenge ourselves about how we tackle issues that worry us or make us discontent. Also it encourages us to reflect on our expectations and to question the standards we set for our children.

Consider:

Respect: Parents want their children to treat them and others with respect, including following instructions, listening attentively, and showing empathy. Of course they will learn much about respect from our own modelling.

Responsibility: Parents hope their children will take responsibility for their actions, chores, and commitments, demonstrating independence and accountability. In taking responsibility they will need to be gradually given more independence.

Success: Parents desire their children to succeed in various aspects of life, whether academically, professionally, or personally, achieving their goals and aspirations. Remember to set expectations that are realistic and not simply your dreams. This can be a CHALLENGE FOR SOME PARENTS.

Happiness: Above all, parents want their children to be happy and content, pursuing activities and relationships that bring them joy and fulfilment. By giving them many and varied opportunities to experience life will create a thirst for more, especially in seeking happiness.

Kindness: Parents value kindness and compassion in their children, hoping they will be considerate and helpful towards others, fostering positive relationships and community spirit. This is where good modelling is important. Surround your children with well balanced people as well.

Resilience: Parents wish for their children to develop resilience and perseverance, being able to overcome challenges and setbacks with determination and resilience. If you want them to be risk takers let them solve their own problems and encourage self determination.

Independence: Parents want their children to become independent individuals capable of making decisions, solving problems, and taking care of themselves as they grow older. This requires you the parent to gradually let go and allow your child to make their own mistakes and deal with the consequences.

Communication: Parents appreciate open and honest communication with their children, fostering trust and understanding in their relationship. Therefore be an effective listener and respect their conversations. Try not to judge what they have to say but rather allow them to express their feelings and beliefs openly.

Gratitude: Parents hope their children will be grateful for the love, support, and opportunities provided to them, showing appreciation for what they have and for the efforts of others. For them to show gratitude you will need to be a grateful and humble person yourself.

Health and Safety: Above all, parents want their children to be healthy, safe, and secure, both physically and emotionally, prioritizing their well-being above everything else. You can help here by encouraging your child to be physically active and by building their personal confidence they grow stronger intellectually and emotionally.

As the parent you gradually become a consultant to your child as they grow older and take over their own responsibility for their life. Your strong and consistent presence will have a long lasting impact on your child.

“The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.”

— Frank A Clarke

Let’s reflect on how we are going in our parenting

Every now and again it is worth checking in to see how you are travelling as a parent. Here are some thoughts that may trigger some simple changes that benefit you in building a stronger relationship with your child.

• How do you feel about your current communication with your child? Do you think you are communicating well? Keep in mind the importance of simply listening to your child.

• Are there areas in your parenting where you feel confident, and where do you feel you could improve? Think about how you could improve in certain areas. Perhaps look on line for courses or simply chat to other parents. It is wonderful to do some critical reflection in this area.

• What strategies do you use to connect with your child on an emotional level? Think about how you talk about emotions. Are you an open person in this area of communication or not?

• How do you handle conflicts or disagreements with your child? Do you need to work on this area, learning to be more compromising and prepared to be a negotiator? This can be quite a stopping block in communicating with our children.

• Are you satisfied with the balance between setting boundaries and fostering independence in your child? Are you prepared to keep adjusting that line of giving your child progressively more independence? They of course will keep up the demand for more independence overtime.

• What values or principles do you prioritize in your parenting approach? Am I prepared to accept other values? Remember we don’t have access to all the truth about such matters as dress, proper language, beliefs etc.

• How do you manage stress or frustration when parenting becomes challenging? This is an area that we need to reflect on as we model so much to our children. Your anxiety can easily transfer to them.

• Are there any specific aspects of your relationship with your child that you would like to strengthen? It is always good to reflect on the quality of our parenting as our children grow and change overtime and their parenting needs keep shifting.

• How do you express love and appreciation to your child? Children need regularly to be nurtured and reassured. Do you need to press the refresh button in this area from time to time.

• What changes, if any, would you like to make in your parenting style or approach? If you genuinely feel a need for change there are many parenting courses on offer. The more we understand about parenting, the safer and more reliable the journey as a parent.

• Do I think I am getting my own needs met and my feelings of self worth as a parent? Feeling mentally strong and healthy yourself will make all the difference to your parenting.

Finally, always keep everything in perspective. Parenting is part of the human condition and it is not a perfect discipline. We are constantly evolving as parents and growing children and with that comes shifting demands and needs of parenting. Some of it is trial and error. Some comes automatically, some comes learnt from family habits and some is simply learnt on the spot. Parenting is a very fluid process of adjusting to constantly developing needs of children. As our children grow, we should keep growing as parents.

“I came to parenting the way most of us do- knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.”

— Mayim Bialik

Happy Mother’s Day

Let’s think about how you, as the mum, are so valuable to your child. Here are ten ways that you show so much love.

• Unconditional Love: Mothers show unwavering love and support, teaching their children the true meaning of unconditional love. We love them no matter what!

• Incredible Multi-tasking Skills: From juggling schedules to managing household chores, mothers are masters of multitasking, keeping everything running smoothly.

• Nurturing Nature: Mothers have a natural ability to nurture and care for their children, providing comfort, guidance, and encouragement every step of the way.

• Endless Patience: Despite the chaos of daily life, mothers exhibit remarkable patience, handling tantrums, setbacks, and challenges with grace and understanding.

• Superhuman Strength: Whether it's carrying a child for nine months or lifting spirits during tough times, mothers showcase incredible strength, both physically and emotionally.

• Role Model Extraordinaire: Mothers serve as powerful role models, inspiring their children to dream big, work hard, and never give up on their goals.

• Master Problem Solver: From fixing broken toys to solving complex problems, mothers have a knack for finding creative solutions to any challenge that comes their way.

• Unparalleled Sacrifice: Mothers make countless sacrifices for their children, often putting their own needs aside to ensure the happiness and well-being of their family.

• Infinite Kindness: With hearts full of kindness and compassion, mothers spread love and kindness wherever they go, making the world a better place for everyone around them.

• Eternal Bond: The bond between a mother and child is truly special and unbreakable, filled with moments of joy, laughter, and endless memories to cherish forever.

‘A mother’s love perceives no impossibilities.’

                                      -Cornelia Paddock

We need to regulate our angry responses around children

Maintaining composure and not getting too angry too quickly is crucial for effective parenting. Here are six reasons why this is important. The examples given are helpful in identifying the sorts of issues that happen at home. It is very easy and quick to turn to anger when disappointed in some behaviour, tired, irritable or just plain out of sorts. A child often doesn’t understand why you reach that point. So taking care to keep levels of anger down and to take time out before addressing the issue is the best resolution.

1. Modelling Emotional Regulation: When a child spills a drink accidentally, instead of getting angry immediately, say, "It's okay, accidents happen. Let's clean it up together." By staying calm, you teach your child how to manage their own emotions. They also listen and don’t shut down when you keep calm.

2. Teaching Problem-Solving Skills: If your child forgets their homework, rather than reacting with anger, say, "Let's figure out a solution together. How can we make sure you remember your homework in the future?" This approach helps your child learn to address challenges constructively. If they expect you to react angrily they will build anxiety over time and will avoid being in contact with you.

3. Promoting a Safe and Trusting Environment: If your child confesses to a mistake, like breaking a toy, avoid immediate anger and instead say, "Thank you for telling me the truth. We can find a way to fix it together." This encourages honesty and trust. We don’t want them to develop a fear over telling the truth

4. Preventing Escalation of Conflict: If a sibling argument arises, try not to jump in with anger. Instead, say, "Let's all take a deep breath and talk about what happened calmly." By staying composed, you prevent conflicts from worsening.

5. Maintaining Effective Communication: If your child receives a poor grade, don't react with anger. Instead, say, "Let's talk about what happened and how we can help you improve." This approach encourages open communication and problem-solving.

6. Protecting Your Child's Self-Esteem: If your child struggles with a task, don't express frustration. Instead, say, "It's okay to find this challenging. We all have things we need to practice." This protects their self-esteem and promotes a growth mindset.

Keeping your anger under control is all about emotional regulation. If a child believes that anger is your first response, your relationship with them will deteriorate and in many cases, children shut down or simply keep you out of the loop. That is their survival tactic to avoid the repercussions of anger, which is seen as a form of power and control.

If you have a relaxed and understanding approach and keep your tone calm and sympathetic, your child will approach you comfortably and with the absolute truth.

‘My job as a parent isn’t to control my child’s emotions. My job as a parent is to control mine.’

                                                            -Shelley Robinson

Helping children cope with distressing media

Addressing distressing media is crucial, especially for parents navigating this digital age with their children. Of course, we need to live in the real world and there has been some very distressing news which needs to be processed with our children in a way that they can understand.

Here are some thoughts on how to educate our children in understanding our modern world where social media can be consumptive:

• Establish healthy boundaries around screen time for both yourself and your children. Setting specific hours for media consumption can help mitigate exposure to distressing content. After all, how much media do we need on a daily basis?

• Create safe spaces online where children can explore content that is curated and monitored by parents. This could include setting up restricted profiles on streaming services or utilizing parental controls on devices.

• Stress the importance of open communication between yourself and your children regarding media consumption. Create a supportive environment where children feel comfortable discussing anything they may find distressing online.

• Talk to your child about how media can have confusion and sensationalism built in. Teach children how to critically analyze media content. This includes helping them understand bias, fact-checking information, and recognizing manipulation tactics used in media. It is most important that they learn not to believe everything they hear and see.

• Monitor your child’s social media usage and be aware of the platforms they are using. Set privacy settings and discuss appropriate online behaviour with your child.

• Prioritize your own well-being when consuming media. Take breaks from news and social media if it becomes overwhelming and engage in activities that promote relaxation and stress relief. This demonstrates to your child that you want and need a balance in your life.

• Offer suggestions for alternative activities that you as a family can engage in together that doesn’t involve screens, such as outdoor adventures, board games, or creative projects.

• It is important as the parent to model healthy media behaviour for your child. Children often mimic their parents’ habits, so it is essential for parents to demonstrate balanced media consumption themselves. Take care how you talk about the media content in front of your child.

• Stay informed about current events but do so mindfully. Consuming excessive news coverage of distressing events can take a toll on mental health, so it’s important to strike a balance between staying informed and protecting one’s well-being.

• Have frequent talks about how understanding media is critical to get only the best out of information that is posted in some way.

• Involving your child in a busy, active life with sports activities, hobbies etc. throughout the week will give them a very happy lifestyle where the focus is not so much on social media.

• When explaining issues to children that have been emblazoned in the news take your time and use language that your child will understand. Sometimes the sensational nature of how words are used can be very intimidating for a child. Check in with them later to see if they understood what you had to say.

Our children live in this digital age and whilst it fills so much of their day they still need to be in control. They need to see it as a tool that be can be used for good and at times not for good. They need to be scrutinizing and be in charge when it comes to deciding how to use it. In this way they are running the show and will be more in control of what they read and how they interpret material. Such maturity will be accelerated with your guidance and direction on how best to be engaged with the digital world.

“Social media is a very, very powerful tool. It also gives power to tools.”

— Chris Young