"I Just Don’t Know How to Help!" – A Parent’s Guide to Coping When School Gets Tough
Let’s take a closer look at how to gently support your child when school becomes a challenge. With slow, steady support, regular check-ins, and working through the ups and downs together, you’ll be showing them the kind of care that builds trust and resilience. Let’s break it down and explore how you can navigate this journey together.
Being a parent isn’t easy at the best of times, but when your child is upset about school or you’re worried they’re falling behind, it can feel overwhelming. You might wonder: Should I speak to the teacher? Should I push harder or back off? What if I make it worse?
You're not alone. Many parents feel this way. Let’s talk about what to do when school feels difficult for your child and for you.
Start with Listening
When a child says, “I hate school,” or “I’m bad at reading,” our instinct is often to jump in with reassurance or solutions. But first, just listen. Give them your full attention even just 5 minutes of focused listening can unlock what’s really going on.
Try saying:
• “I am wondering how school went today.”
• “That sounds tough. I’d feel upset too.”
Remember this is not about giving them the answers. At this stage it is simply listening and feeling their concern.
Break the Problem Into Small Pieces
Big school problems often have small, manageable parts. Once your child feels heard, you can gently help them name the problem.
Example issues:
• “I don’t get maths” might actually mean “I got stuck on subtraction.”
• “No one likes me” might mean “Two friends wouldn’t play with me today.”
Help your child zoom in. Small problems are easier to talk about and easier to solve. For the child at the time, they seem insurmountable.
Make a Simple Action Plan (Together)
Children feel more confident when they’re part of the solution. They need to feel ownership of the issue. Once you've listened and broken the problem down, brainstorm one small step together.
Examples of action steps:
• Practising reading at home to build confidence
• Writing a short note to the teacher about a worry
• Role-playing what to say to a friend at playtime
For you: Don’t hesitate to send a quick message to the teacher. A simple, kind email like “My child is a bit anxious about PE. Any suggestions?” can open a helpful door.
Let Go of "Perfect"
You don’t have to be a teacher or a therapist. You don’t need perfect answers. Children don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. Just showing up, listening, and caring makes a huge difference.
If you're trying, you're already helping. Being authentic shows the child you are really wanting to help.
Some Reassurance
Most school struggles are temporary. Children are resilient and bounce back, especially when they have a parent who’s in their corner. This is not about solving the problem for them but being there, listening and together working on solutions. If you, the parent, take full ownership of their problem, they will disengage from it and they will have learnt nothing.
Example:
Tom, age 9, was refusing to go to school. After some gentle chats, his dad realized Tom was scared about changing seats. A quick word with the teacher helped, and they worked out a solution. Within a week, Tom was back at school and smiling.
One Last Thought
When school is tough, it can feel like you're both in the storm. But storms pass. What matters most is that your child knows you're by their side..With slow and steady support, recognizing that it is a problem for them is critical to their sense of security. Working through the problem together and checking in to see how they are going is the best way to show you care.
What AI Means for Your Child’s Education And How to Help Them Thrive
As technology continues to evolve, AI is becoming part of everyday life, including the classroom. For parents, this can feel both exciting and overwhelming. You don’t need to be a tech expert to support your child. What matters most is showing curiosity, openness, and a willingness to learn alongside them. Gail Smith explores what AI means for your child’s education and how you can use it to help them thrive, starting with open conversations at home.
Why it works:
• It’s a hot topic. Parents are hearing about AI everywhere but may not understand how it relates to school.
• It positions you as forward-thinking, offering clarity in an area full of uncertainty.
• It opens up a new parenting role: helping kids navigate the future, not just the present.
• It shows that you are listening to what's new and about.
What you could include:
• What’s already happening in schools: AI in homework tools, learning platforms, and even marking systems. Find out if the school has sent home any information.
• What kids are curious about or using: Chat GPT, Tik Tok etc.
• How to support healthy use: guiding curiosity, spotting misinformation, encouraging creativity, not cheating. Talk frequently about the use and abuse of such a tool as AI.
• Future skills to nurture: critical thinking, empathy, digital discernment. Talk about how different industries could use AI.
• Look up the web to see what the Education Department is writing about AI and what advice they have for parents.
Your child needs to see that you are not intimidated by change and that you carefully assess what is new and different. The more discussion with your child the better. Allow them to tell you what they know about AI.
“To be an effective learner we should be open to new and challenging concepts.”
Letting Go a Little: Why Gradual Independence Matters for Your Child’s Growth
Letting go a little doesn't mean stepping back; it means stepping alongside. Gail Smith shares how allowing our children to try, stumble, and learn with our support (not control) builds the confidence and independence they need to grow.
One of the hardest parts of parenting is knowing when to step back. We want to keep our children safe, happy, and successful, and sometimes that means we hold on too tightly and are frightened of them making mistakes. We need to start giving them gradual independence, little by little, day by day, even though some of this independence will mean making mistakes which can be upsetting.
We are not leaving them to figure things out alone. It means letting them try, stumble, learn, and succeed with our support, not our control. They learn to know we are there when really needed. If they think we are about control, they will step back and lose interest.
Why Does Gradual Independence Matter?
In today’s world, it can feel risky to let children do things on their own. However it is more risky not to enable your child to cope with the real world and to rely on others to solve problems. There’s pressure to protect them from failure, frustration, and even boredom. But the truth is:
✅ Children learn by doing, not by watching.
✅ Confidence comes from experience, not praise alone.
✅ Resilience is built through overcoming small challenges.
Gradually gaining independence awakens in the child a wonderful sense of personal satisfaction and confidence. It is quite liberating!
Real-Life Examples of Where It Matters
1. Getting Ready for School
It might be quicker (and tidier!) to pack their bag, zip their coat, and butter their toast. But every time we take over, we take away a learning opportunity.
💡 Instead:
Teach them how to check a simple morning list: bag packed, lunchbox in, coat on, shoes by the door. It’ll take patience at first, but it pays off fast, and they’ll feel proud doing it themselves.
2. Friendships and Play
If your child says, “He won’t play with me,” it’s tempting to jump in and fix it. But these small moments are chances to learn negotiation, sharing, and handling disappointment.
💡 Instead:
Ask questions like: “What could you try next time?” or “How do you think he felt?” Help them think through solutions but let them do the talking.
3. Homework and Learning
You want your child to succeed, so it’s natural to sit beside them and guide every step. But they need to learn how to think, not just how to get the answer. This may involve learning from mistakes.
💡 Instead:
Support them to plan their time, set up a quiet space, and check their own work. You’re building independence and responsibility. Homework is also the responsibility of the school and child, not the parent.
4. Problem Solving
From a forgotten jumper to a missed club, let children experience small consequences safely.
💡 Instead:
If they forget something, avoid racing to school with it. Next time, they’ll remember. These low stakes “failures” teach responsibility better than lectures ever could.
What Gets in the Way?
Fear of failure: We worry a mistake will hurt their confidence, but small stumbles teach big lessons.
Time pressure: Life is busy, and doing it ourselves is faster, but it delays learning.
Wanting to protect: We want to shield them from discomfort, but facing challenges with our support grows courage. Children want to feel in control.
How to Start Giving Gradual Independence
Think of it like riding a bike:
1. You hold the saddle.
2. You run beside them.
3. You let go... but stay nearby.
4. You cheer them on even if they wobble.
Every step tells them:
“You’re capable. I believe in you. I feel very happy when I see you showing independence.”
Final Thought: Independence Isn’t the End of Parenting, It’s Part of It
Gradual independence actually brings your child closer to you. It’s about walking beside them while they grow stronger legs. When we give children the space to try, we give them the chance to thrive, and they value the gradual freedom you give them.
So let go, just a little, and watch what they can do. See how creative and confident they become as they happily take charge of their own life.
Simple ways to help your child with their anxiety issues
Today’s children are growing up in a world filled with pressure from school demands to social media and even the stress they sense from adults. It’s no surprise that anxiety is becoming more common in younger children. The good news? We can teach them how to cope and thrive. Building resilience doesn't mean they'll never face challenges. It means they'll have the tools to bounce back, try again, and keep moving forward. And that’s one of the greatest gifts we can give them.
If you’ve ever felt like your child worries more than they should, or gets overwhelmed by small setbacks, you’re not alone. Today’s children are growing up in a world full of pressure: school demands, social media, the news, even our own stress. It's no wonder anxiety is showing up more in younger children.
However we can teach them how to be resilient,
What Does Anxiety Look Like in Young Children?
Children often don’t say “I’m anxious”, instead, it shows up in their behaviour:
They might refuse to go to school.
They complain of tummy aches with no medical cause.
They get tearful or angry when a routine changes.
They say things like, “I can’t do it” or “Everyone’s better than me.”
They become silent
Sound familiar? These are all ways that anxiety can appear in children, especially in the early years and primary school.
So, What Can Parents Do Right Now?
1. Name the Feeling
Young children often feel better just from knowing what they’re feeling has a name.
Instead of saying: “Don’t worry — it’s nothing.”
Try: “It sounds like you’re feeling a bit nervous. That’s okay — we all feel like that sometimes.”
This helps them recognize and label emotions, which is the first step in managing them.
2. Model 'Brave Behaviour'
Children learn most from what they see. If they watch you facing challenges (even small ones) with a steady attitude, they start to believe they can do the same.
For example:
“I’ve got a big presentation at work today and I feel nervous, but I’ve prepared, and I’m going to try my best.”
This shows that being nervous is normal, and that bravery means doing things even when we feel a bit scared. Show them it’s all about taking control of those nervous feelings.
3. Praise the Process, Not Just the Outcome
Instead of focusing on whether something was done perfectly, celebrate the effort.
For example:
“I saw you kept trying with that tricky puzzle. That was brilliant persistence!”
This builds a growth mindset, helping children see setbacks as part of learning, not signs of failure.
4. Small actions count
Encourage small acts of courage every day. Start with achievable steps, like putting their hand up in class, or trying a new food and celebrate them. Multiple small achievements that are praised make a big difference!
Make a “Brave Jar” at home: every time your child does something that feels brave, they get to put a marble or token in the jar. Watch it grow!
5. Create Calm Routines
Predictable routines help anxious children feel safe. Try keeping mornings calm and consistent, breakfast, brushing teeth, packing bags in the same order. Same organized routine for nigh time.
6. Watch Your Own Anxiety
Children are emotional sponges. If you’re often saying, “I’m so stressed,” or showing panic in tough situations, they will absorb that.
Take moments to breathe, pause, and model calm responses even when you’re faking it a bit. You’re teaching emotional regulation without saying a word. Try to avoid words about yourself like stress, anxious, frightened ,weak, vulnerable.
When Should You Seek Help?
If your child’s anxiety is stopping them from taking part in everyday life, refusing school regularly, withdrawing from friends, or having frequent meltdowns, it might be time to talk to the teacher, your GP, school councillor or a child therapist.
Final Thought: Bravery Grows Slowly — But It Grows
Raising a resilient child doesn’t mean they’ll never struggle. It means they’ll know how to bounce back, try again, and keep going. That’s the greatest gift we can give them. It’s called resilience.
You don’t need to have all the answers. Let them see that we are not all perfect. Just walk alongside them, name the feelings, and keep reminding them: “You’ve got this, and I’ve got you.”
“It’s not whether you get knocked down. It’s whether you get up.”
Learning about balancing holidays and school terms
The holidays bring excitement and a little chaos! As parents juggle school responsibilities and festive fun, it’s important to keep things steady. Gail Smith reminds us that holidays don’t need to be perfect. Focus on rest, fun, and gently keeping kids aware that school will return soon. A little structure goes a long way in helping children feel secure and ready for the term ahead.
As the holidays are upon us, many parents are juggling that tricky balance between school responsibilities and the joyful chaos of free time. It’s a familiar challenge: how do we let our children enjoy the magic of the season while helping them stay steady and settled at school?
Here’s what might help:
Keep to a Simple Rhythm (but loosen the reins)
Children thrive on routine, but the holidays bring excitement, visitors, and later bedtimes. That’s okay! Try to keep a gentle rhythm where possible, especially around sleep and meals, but give your child permission to enjoy the special moments too. Flexibility doesn't mean chaos; it means adjusting to the moment.
Talk About What’s Coming Up
A wall calendar or simple weekly planner can work wonders. Mark school events (like birthdays, end-of-term parties) and holiday treats (visits to pools, relatives friends, etc.). When children know what’s ahead, they feel calmer and more in control.
Let School Be a Safe Anchor
During the holiday time, school can become a secure anchor point, a place that feels familiar and steady. Reinforce this at home: “You’ve got a fun day at school next term,” or “Let’s make sure we shop for what you need in term two so that you are well prepared.”
Avoid Over-packing the Weekends
It’s tempting to say yes to every invitation, but downtime matters. Children need unstructured time to play, be quiet, and process all the extra stimulation. Protect a few hours of calm here and there—it’s good for you too.
Big Feelings Might Show Up
The run-up to the holidays can stir up excitement, nerves, or even anxiety. Your child might be more tired, clingy, or irritable and that’s all normal. Rather than fixing the feelings, try naming them: “It’s a lot at the moment, isn’t it?” That small recognition goes a long way. Some children don't cope well with constant change and may have settled well into school and now need to adjust to holidays.
One Last Thought
The holidays are magical, but they don’t need to be perfect. It is a time for rest and recovery with an awareness that school will be coming up in a few weeks. Keeping your child's eye on the ball in the understandings of how a school year works helps them cope well.
As a parent remember to listen well
Children learn by example, and when parents practice active listening, they teach valuable communication skills. When a child feels heard, they understand that their thoughts and feelings matter, building their confidence and sense of self-worth. Gail Smith shares five compelling reasons why truly listening to your child is essential for their emotional and social development.
Here are five powerful reasons why parents need to truly listen to their child, each with a sharp and effective well-being message:
Small Problems Now Prevent Big Problems Later
When kids feel heard about small worries (like a bad day at school), they’re more likely to share big issues (like bullying or anxiety) later. Dismissing small concerns teaches them their voice doesn’t matter. Sometimes they cannot decipher between what is big and little with their worries.
Listening Builds Confidence, Not Silence
A child who feels listened to learns that their thoughts and feelings are important. A constantly interrupted or dismissed child learns to stay quiet, even when they desperately need help. Being silent, they feel is a safe position.
Strong Parent-Child Bonds Reduce Anxiety
Studies show that children who feel heard by their parents develop better emotional regulation and experience less anxiety and stress. Feeling understood creates a deep sense of security. If you are heard you are more confident in yourself.
Kids Who Are Heard Become Adults Who Speak Up
When parents actively listen, kids grow up with the confidence to set boundaries, express their needs, and advocate for themselves in friendships, school, and later in life. For them, talking up is their strength.
Unspoken Feelings Don’t Disappear—They Show Up in Behaviour
When children feel ignored, their emotions often turn into anger, defiance, withdrawal, or anxiety. Listening is the first step in helping them healthily process their feelings. They need to use their voice.
Remember children learn by example and if you are a good listener to others they will see how effective this is in communicating well. If a child feels that they are being listened to, they know they are valued and that what they have to say really matters.
“Be patient when listening to your child. You will hear so much but within their talk there is an important message that will come through.”
Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help
As a parent, understanding what your child faces at school can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and simple actionable ways to help them thrive.
School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.
Academic Learning Challenges
Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.
How You Can Help:
• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”
• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.
• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.
• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.
Friendships and Social Dynamics
Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.
How You Can Help:
• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.
• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.
• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.
Managing Expectations and Pressure
Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.
How You Can Help:
• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.
• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.
• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.
• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.
Handling Tiredness and Stress
A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.
How You Can Help:
• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.
• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.
• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.
• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.
• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.
Building Confidence and Independence
As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.
How You Can Help:
• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.
• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.
• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.
• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.
Final Thoughts
Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.
How to Support Your Child’s Mental Health Through School Without Over Complicating It
Supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Gail Smith shares simple yet effective ways that you can apply to make a real difference in supporting your child's mental health.
School is a huge part of your child’s life. It can be stressful. From friendship fallouts to academic pressure, it’s no wonder mental health is one of the top concerns for families today. But supporting your child’s well-being doesn’t have to mean long lectures or expensive therapies. Sometimes, it’s the simple, everyday things that make the biggest difference.
Consider:
Teach Them to Name Their Feelings and You Name Yours Too
Kids can't manage what they can't name.
Instead of just asking “How was school?”, try asking:
• “What was something that made you happy/sad/frustrated today?”
• “Was there a moment today you felt proud of yourself?”
Better yet, model it yourself: “I felt nervous today because of a big meeting, but I took some deep breaths and got through it.”
Why this works: Kids learn to recognize and handle emotions when they hear you doing it.
Make Space for ‘Down Time’ After School
Imagine finishing a long workday and going straight into more tasks — exhausting, right? Kids need that same recovery time.
Instead of asking them to immediately do homework or talk about the day, try:
• 20 minutes of quiet play
• A snack and a cuddle on the sofa
• Listening to music together
Why this works: It helps them regulate and reset, which makes later conversations or homework battles much easier. We all need space across the day.
Focus on Effort, Not Just Results
When your child shares a test score or project result, it’s tempting to focus on what they got. But instead, try praising the effort behind it:
• “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on that.”
• “I love how you kept going, even when it was tough.”
Why this works: Kids learn that trying is what counts, which builds resilience when things don’t go perfectly. It's OK to get some things wrong.
Keep an Eye on Friendships and Step In If Needed
Friendships are huge for kids' mental health.
Ask casually:
• “Who did you hang out with today?”
• “What was the best part of playtime?”
If you notice they’re upset about friends often, don’t dismiss it. Offer to role-play tricky situations or brainstorm what to say if things get tough. Remember you are not there to take over the problem.
Why this works: Feeling socially safe helps kids relax, focus, and enjoy school more.
Let Teachers Know if Something’s Up
If your child is struggling with sleep issues, anxiety, friendship worries, tell the teacher. You don’t need to give every detail, but a heads-up helps them watch out and support your child in small, thoughtful ways. They spend many hours with them in the best part of the day.
Example email you could send:
"Hi Miss Smith, just wanted to let you know that Jack has been feeling a bit anxious lately, especially in class. If you notice anything or have suggestions, we’d love to hear from you."
Why this works: Teachers can’t help with what they don’t know, and they want to help.
“Supporting your child’s mental health isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present”
How to Help Your Child Thrive at School Without the Stress!
School life is full of twists, turns, and loop-the-loops. As a parent, you’re the safety harness, keeping your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s the quick-start guide to helping your child navigate school life with confidence and ease.
School life can be a roller coaster—exciting one day, exhausting the next! As a parent, you’re the safety harness that keeps your child steady through the ups and downs. But how can you best support them without adding to the pressure? Here’s your quick-start guide:
Be Their Cheerleader, Not Their Coach
Your child needs to know you’re on their team. Celebrate effort over results, and remind them that mistakes are part of learning. A simple “I love how hard you tried!” can work wonders.
Create a ‘Safe Space’ at Home
Home should be a refuge, not an extension of the classroom. Keep homework sessions stress-free, encourage breaks, and make time for laughter. A relaxed child learns better!
Listen More Than You Talk
Ask open-ended questions: “What was the best part of your day?” or “What made you think today?” Let them open up on their terms. Sometimes, they just need to vent! Sometimes they just want to also be silent
Teach Resilience, Not Perfection
Life at school won’t always be smooth sailing. Help them handle setbacks with confidence. Instead of fixing problems for them, guide them to find their own solutions. Develop independent thinking in your child.
Prioritise Sleep, Food & Fun
Tired, hungry kids struggle. A good routine, healthy meals, and plenty of play keep their energy and mood in check. A happy child learns better than a stressed one.
Stay Connected (Without Hovering!)
Be involved—know their friends, show up at school events, chat with teachers. But avoid micromanaging! Your child needs space to grow independently.
Lead by Example
If you stay positive about school, they’ll pick up on that. Show enthusiasm for learning, handle challenges calmly, and they’ll mirror your mindset.
Your support doesn’t have to be complicated. Just being present, listening, and creating a positive home environment can make all the difference. So, go on, cheer them on, lift them up, and enjoy the journey together!
“Learning for your child will happen anywhere and at anytime if they are happy and secure.”
Encourage a Wide Net of Friends: Why It Matters.
Friendships are key to a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Gail Smith highlights why encouraging kids to embrace new friendships is so important.
Friendships are essential for a child’s happiness, but relying on just one best friend can lead to heartbreak. Encouraging a variety of friendships helps children grow socially and emotionally. They are also more receptive to accepting difference.
Less Heartbreak, More Support – If one friend is absent or drifts away, your child won’t feel alone.
Stronger Social Skills – Different friends mean learning to communicate and connect in new ways.
Confidence Booster – A mix of friendships builds self-esteem and reduces social anxiety.
More Fun, Less Drama – Group play means fewer fallouts and more opportunities for joy.
Life-Long Resilience – Adapting to different personalities prepares children for real-world relationships.
Encourage your child to be open to new friendships—it builds a stronger, happier, and more adaptable future! Avoid being judgmental or critical of friends they choose. In time they will work through who are truly friends.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.”
It’s all in the effort with Parenting
Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need an authentic one. The love, dedication, and effort you pour into each day mean far more than striving to get everything right.
Parenting is a journey, not a performance—there’s no perfect script, and mistakes are part of the process. Your child doesn’t need a flawless parent; they need a real one. The love, effort, and care you put in every day matter more than getting everything right. By showing your child how to navigate challenges, apologize when needed, and keep trying, you’re teaching them resilience and authenticity. So take a deep breath—your best is often more than enough.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
Helping Your Child Navigate Friendships and Challenges
Navigating friendships, forming them, losing them, and finding new ones is a natural part of childhood and essential for social and emotional growth. Here are five impactful ways parents can guide their children in fostering strong, healthy friendships and overcoming the challenges that come with them.
Friendships play a huge role in a child's school experience, shaping their confidence, happiness, and even their academic success. But as every parent knows, friendships come with ups and downs — disagreements, peer pressure, and the heartbreak of feeling left out. Here are five powerful ways parents can help their children build strong, healthy friendships while overcoming challenges.
1. Teach Empathy Through Storytelling
Children who understand how others feel are more likely to form meaningful friendships and handle conflicts with kindness.
Example: If your child tells you a friend was unkind, instead of immediately taking sides, ask: “How do you think they were feeling? Why might they have acted that way?” Reading books about friendship together or sharing your own childhood stories can help children develop empathy and perspective.
2. Role-Play Difficult Social Situations
Many children struggle to know what to say or do in tricky situations. Practising responses in a safe environment can give them the confidence to handle challenges.
Example: If your child is feeling left out at playtime, practise possible conversations:
“Can I join in?” or “Hey, do you want to play together today?”
If they’re dealing with a bossy friend, teach them how to say:
“I like playing with you, but I also want to make my own choices.”
3. Model Positive Friendships at Home
Children learn the most about relationships by watching their parents. If they see you handling disagreements respectfully and maintaining friendships, they’ll follow suit.
Example: If you have a disagreement with a friend or partner, show your child how to resolve it with kindness. Say things like:
“I was upset earlier, but I talked to my friend, and we worked it out.
This teaches them that disagreements don’t mean the end of a friendship—they can be worked through.
4. Encourage a ‘Wide Net’ of Friends
Relying on just one friend can be risky—if there’s a fallout, children can feel completely alone. Encourage them to be open to different friendships.
Example: If your child always plays with the same person, suggest inviting another classmate to join an activity. Say:
“I love that you and Emily are close! Why don’t we invite Mia over too?”
Encouraging group friendships helps children avoid being overly dependent on one person.
5. Teach Resilience When Friendships Change
Friendships naturally shift over time, and not every friendship lasts forever. Teaching your child to accept change helps them build emotional strength.
Example: If your child is upset that a friend has started playing with someone else, acknowledge their feelings but also provide perspective:
“It’s hard when friendships change, but it doesn’t mean you won’t find new great friends.”
Encourage activities where they can meet new friends, like clubs or sports, so they learn that one friendship ending isn’t the end of the world.
Forming friends, losing them and realigning yourself to new groups is a normal part of the childhood development in social and emotional growth. There will be disappointments and successes. There will be sharp reminders about how relationships can change and effect very quickly your well being. As a parent be a good listener and be inclusive with all their friends not showing judgement or bias. Your child needs to walk the road that will ultimately lead them to forming happy stable relationships that are inclusive and that build in them strong emotional intelligence.
“A friend is one of the nicest things you can have and one of the best things you can be.”
Five simple but practical ideas for parents to find a balance between a busy life and dealing with school matters.
Balancing work, life, and your child’s school commitments can feel overwhelming, but it doesn’t have to be. Gail Smith shares five simple yet practical tips to help busy parents stay engaged with their child’s education while managing their own demanding schedules. While perfection may be out of reach, these strategies can help you find a better, more manageable balance.
Consider these five simple but practical ideas for parents to balance their busy lives while staying engaged with your child’s school matters:
The 10-Minute School Check-in
Set aside just 10 minutes a day to ask about school—over breakfast, on the drive home, or at bedtime. Keep it simple: "What was the best part of your day?" or "Did anything tricky happen today?" Small conversations build strong connections without overwhelming your schedule.
Use Technology to Stay Updated
Sign up for school emails, apps, or newsletters to get quick updates without needing extra time. Skim through messages during coffee breaks or while waiting in line. If possible, set up alerts for key school dates so you don’t miss important events.
Prioritize What Really Matters
You don’t have to attend every event! Choose one or two school activities per term that fit your schedule, like a parents’ evening or a fun day. This keeps you involved without adding stress.
Turn Everyday Moments into Learning
Use daily tasks to support your child’s education. Cooking? Talk about measurements. Shopping? Discuss money and budgeting. This helps reinforce school skills without extra work.
Team Up with Other Parents
Share school runs, swap event updates, or take turns attending meetings and passing on key points. A parent support network lightens the load and keeps everyone informed.
School is ever present in your life as well as your own work demands. There is never a perfect balance, but finding opportunities to throw in a few educational moments and to simply enjoy your child, is so important across that busy week.
“There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”
Five sound reasons why parents should stay in touch with their child’s school throughout the year.
Building relationships with your child’s school, especially their teachers creates a strong foundation for a successful year. Gail Smith shares five key reasons why staying engaged throughout the year benefits both students and parents.
The more you keep in touch with school, the greater chance of a successful school year.
Consider:
Better Academic Support
• Regular communication with teachers helps parents understand their child's progress and areas needing improvement.
• Example: A parent who checks in with the teacher about their child’s struggles in math can get advice on home support strategies or learn about extra resources.
Stronger Home-School Partnership
• When parents and teachers work together, children feel supported both at home and in school.
• Example: A child struggling with reading gains confidence when their parents use the same phonics techniques as the teacher at home.
Awareness of Behaviour & Social Development
• Teachers see how children interact with peers and can provide insights on friendships, behaviour, or emotional challenges.
• Example: A parent might learn that their usually quiet child is struggling with playground conflicts and can then discuss ways to help them navigate friendships.
Keeping Up with School Events & Changes
• Schools often introduce new policies, curriculum changes, or events that parents should be aware of.
• Example: A parent who stays in touch won’t miss out on an opportunity for their child to join a free after-school science club or something similar. Sometimes new activities can happen spontaneously.
Early Intervention for Issues
• Small problems can grow if left unaddressed, but regular check-ins allow for early solutions.
• Example: A teacher notices a child's handwriting is falling behind and, by informing the parents early, they can work together on fine motor skills before it becomes a bigger issue.
Keep in mind that more contact and building relationships with the school and especially the teachers, provides a great framework for a successful year. You will also enjoy the journey.
“School can be a great place to grow for the whole family and just the children.”
5 TIPS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN YOUR CHILD WHEN STARTING SCHOOL
Starting a new school year can be a big adjustment, especially for kids feeling a little nervous. As a parent, you can help ease their worries and boost their confidence with simple strategies. A smooth start sets the tone for a great year ahead! Gail Smith shows you how you can support your child through this transition.
Starting a new school year can be a big transition for many children, especially if they're nervous. Here are some tips for parents to help their child feel more confident and less anxious:
1. Familiarise Them with the School
• Why it works: New places can feel scary. Making the school feel familiar reduces the unknowns.
• Example: Walk around the school grounds together. Show them where the classrooms and toilets are. If the teacher is available, introduce them to your child.
• Story: “Last year, Mia visited her new school with her dad a week before it started. On the first day, she already knew how to find her classroom, so she felt less nervous walking in.”
2. Practise the School Routine
• Why it works: A predictable routine helps children feel prepared and in control.
• Example: One week before school starts, wake up at the time they’ll need to for school, eat breakfast, and pack a pretend lunch together. Practice leaving the house on time.
• Story: “Jason and his mum did a ‘practice day’ where they packed his backpack and walked to the bus stop. On the first day, Jason felt ready because he’d already done it once.”
3. Role-Play Scenarios
• Why it works: Practising interactions can build confidence.
• Example: Pretend to be a new classmate, and practise introducing themselves: “Hi, I’m Alex. What’s your name?” Also, practise asking the teacher questions like, “Can you help me with this?”
• Story: “Sophia was nervous about making friends, so her dad played the role of a shy classmate. After practising, Sophia felt ready to say hello to new kids at recess.”
4. Plan a Special "Back-to-School Tradition"
• Why it works: Creating a positive tradition makes the start of school exciting.
• Example: Let them pick out their first-day outfit, decorate their notebook with stickers, or have a “back-to-school breakfast” with their favourite food.
• Story: “Every year, Ella’s family bakes pancakes in the shape of letters spelling her name. It makes the first day of school something she looks forward to instead of dreading.”
5. Normalize Their Feelings
• Why it works: Knowing it’s okay to feel nervous helps kids manage their emotions.
• Example: Share a story about a time you felt nervous but things turned out okay, like starting a new job. Then talk about how they can overcome similar fears.
• Story: “When Liam told his mum he was scared about meeting new classmates, she said, ‘I felt the same way on my first day at work, but I ended up making friends. Let’s think of ways you can make friends, too.’
These examples make the advice practical and relatable for parents. Think about your child and what best works for them. Keeping anxieties to a minimum gives your child the best start for the year.
“Loving school is all about feeling safe and comfortable”
Starting School in 2025
Ease your child's transition into a new school year by talking positively about the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy, and practice morning routines to help them feel prepared. Offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Starting school can be an exciting but anxious time for some children as they face new routines, environments, and people. To help ease their worries, talk positively about school, focusing on the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy. Practice routines like getting ready in the morning, and visit the school beforehand if possible to familiarize them with the surroundings. Listen to their concerns and reassure them that it's okay to feel nervous. Most importantly, offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Consider:
.Be patient with your child.
Listen well to what they say in the first few weeks.
Be available especially after school for some time.
Change will occur with reshuffled friendship groups and familiarising themselves with the teacher. However, change is a good thing!
“The secret of change is to focus all our energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
Five simple but powerful tips for parents to help their child start school on a positive note
With school reopening soon, take a moment to chat with your child about their holiday highlights and what they'll miss. This helps them transition from break to school. Ask them what they're excited about, whether it’s seeing friends or new activities. These simple conversations can set a positive tone for the new school year.
1. Talk with Excitement – Speak positively about school, teachers, and learning. Your
enthusiasm will be contagious!
2. Keep Mornings Calm – A smooth, stress-free morning routine sets the tone for the
day. Plan ahead to avoid last-minute chaos.
3. Celebrate Small Wins – Praise your child’s efforts, whether it’s making a new
friend or packing their own bag. Confidence grows with encouragement.
4. Listen and Reassure – If your child has worries, acknowledge them, but focus on
solutions and strengths. “You can handle this, and I’m here for you!”
5. Stay Connected – Chat about their day with curiosity, not just “How was school?”
Try, “What made you smile today?”
It is best to start some conversation about school now. Keep on the positive and invite them to talk about what they know about their new school year. Invite them to talk about the things that they have missed in the holidays and what they look forward to when school starts.
“With the new school year comes opportunities and adventures”
Welcoming the New Year: Five Inspiring Thoughts for Parents
As we welcome the new year, it’s a perfect moment to reflect on the journey of parenting. The joys, the challenges, and the growth. No matter what the past year holds, the year ahead is filled with fresh opportunities to nurture your bond with your children and support their development. Gail Smith shares five inspiring thoughts to help your family step into this new chapter with hope, belief, and a renewed commitment.
As we turn the page to a brand-new year, it’s the perfect time to reflect on the joys and challenges of parenting. Whether the past year was smooth sailing or full of hurdles, a new year brings fresh opportunities to strengthen your bond with your children and support them in their growth. Here are five thoughts to inspire hope and belief in the incredible work you do as parents:
Small Efforts Make a Big Difference Parenting is often about the little things: the goodnight hugs, the words of encouragement, the time spent listening to your child’s stories. These small moments add up to create a safe and loving environment where your child can thrive. Remember, you don’t have to be perfect—just present.
Every Challenge Is a Learning Opportunity
Difficult moments—whether it’s a tantrum, a tough conversation, or a bad grade—are opportunities for growth. These challenges help your child learn resilience and problem-solving skills, and they give you a chance to model patience and understanding. Trust that these moments will lead to stronger, more capable individuals.
You Are Your Child’s Greatest Advocate
No one understands your child like you do. Your involvement in their education, interests, and well-being makes a powerful impact. Whether it’s communicating with teachers, cheering from the sidelines, or simply being their biggest cheerleader, your advocacy gives them the confidence to reach for the stars.
Connection Is More Important Than Perfection
It’s easy to get caught up in the pressure to do everything “right” as a parent. But what your child needs most is your love and connection. Taking time to share a laugh, go on an adventure, or just sit and talk can build memories that outshine any mistakes along the way.
Your Effort Is Enough
Parenting is hard work, and it’s natural to question if you’re doing enough. But your commitment, care, and presence in your child’s life mean more than you may realize. Celebrate the progress you’ve made, and trust that you are the parent your child needs.
Parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, but every moment—big or small—helps shape a brighter future for your children. You’ve got this, and the new year is full of possibilities for your family to grow and thrive.
“Happy New Family Year”
A Few wise thoughts about getting ready for Christmas
The festive season can sometimes feel overwhelming, with endless to-do lists and expectations piling up. This year, why not focus on what truly matters? Spending quality time together as a family. Use this season of change as an opportunity to reconnect and remind yourselves of the joy and love that make family the heart of this special time.
Now that school is finished and the family can concentrate on Christmas and holidays, consider making life as simple and uncomplicated as possible. Enjoy the change as a family unit and begin to remember why family is the key point about this season.
Consider:
Focus on Presence, Not Presents: Children will remember the moments you spend together, not the price tags. Make time for laughter, games and hugs
Keep It Calm and Simple: Don’t stress about creating the “perfect Christmas.” Kids love the small things—hot chocolate, movies, or building a snowman. They love the repetition of Christmas.
Share the Spirit of Giving: Involve children in small acts of kindness— donating a toy, baking for neighbours, or making handmade cards. It’s a gift for their hearts too.
Create Special Traditions: Whether it’s matching pyjamas, bedtime stories by
the tree, or a festive family walk, traditions make Christmas magical and memorable.
Let Kids Be Kids: Allow space for excitement, silliness, and mess. The joy of Christmas is in their smiles and giggles—so join in!
Try to be more relaxed and strengthen friendships and relationships. It is all good for the soul.
“Have yourself a very merry Christmas with all the family.”
Holidays are a great time to reinvigorate relationships with your child
Year-end holidays are a special time for families to reconnect, break from routine, and enjoy quality moments together. In this blog, Gail Smith shares why these holidays are essential for strengthening family bonds and creating lasting happiness.
School is over soon for everyone and it is the one time in the year when families can find time together, be different, escape routine and veg out together. This is a time to remind ourselves that as a family we are strong and happy. It is a time to simply play and have fun and to forget about any burdens that have weighed you down this year.
Consider these thoughts that remind us why holiday are such an important time to reunite as a family.
Strengthens Bonds: Holidays provide uninterrupted time to connect, share laughs, and create cherished memories that strengthen family relationships.
Builds Traditions: Creating rituals like baking together or game nights fosters a sense of belonging and gives children something to look forward to every year.
Boosts Emotional Health: Spending quality time as a family reduces stress, enhances happiness, and helps everyone feel supported.
Teaches Values: Engaging in activities like volunteering or storytelling allows parents to pass on values and lessons in a fun, relaxed environment.
Recharges and Reconnects: Stepping away from daily routines allows everyone to reset, appreciate one another, and start fresh with stronger connections.
When everyone is starting to relax it is amazing how humour and laughter increases in a
house. May the jolly HO Ho of Santa permeate in all families over the next few weeks.
‘Tis the season to be jolly.’