Building resilience in girls around today's Social Challenges
By instilling positive thinking and self-support skills, we can help our girls grow into strong, confident individuals capable of making informed decisions for their safety and well-being. Gail Smith shares her insights on what we, as parents, can do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer.
We have all been appalled and shocked by the recent outbreaks of violence to women. There is much to address in this serious matter and it is a socially distressing sign that all is not well in our society.
Here I am thinking of how parents can be so helpful in building strength in our girls to support their growing years where they are forming ideas, values and most importantly long lasting self worth. I have always been a great believer that the stronger the girl, the more personally confident they are in making choices with friends, partners etc. that will be the very best for them.
The recent tragedies indicate that we have much to do to educate men on how to treat women and how to respect and value them in the highest possible way. This will not happen overnight and so I now turn my attention to how we can strengthen our girls to be observant, mature and feel confident enough to walk away from situations that make them unsafe. This is not as easy as it sounds and in many cases it may be impossible as we have seen from some recent tragedies. However, what can we as parents do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer. Our role is vital in giving our girls skills in supporting themselves.
Consider:
• always talk positively to your girl and reassure them that they are worthwhile and a valued member of the family. Use effective language around them that makes them feel good about themselves. Definitely no put downs or sarcasm that can lead to feelings of doubt about themselves. Take care to ensure that male siblings treat their sister with respect at all times.
• Encourage their independence affirming them when they show an ability to initiate and create new ways of being. Let them be themselves.
• Allow them to have a strong voice in the family. When they have something to say we listen with interest and belief in the worthwhile nature of what they have to say.
• Encourage them to play sport and get involved in team games building personal stamina and physical fitness. Sport is great for building leadership qualities. A strong girl is one that can engage across many environments and is constantly growing physically, intellectually and emotionally.
• Formal education is a wonderful way to escape social dependency. When a girl is articulate and feels a capable learner, they are using their intellect to feel strong. This is a wonderful way of self empowerment. Education is liberating.
• In their tentative years they will be in and out of friendship groups. Keep the conversations alive about how important their friendship groups are to making them feel stronger. They will have disappointments, but hopefully will learn who really constitutes a true friend.
• Take care not to be quick to place judgement on their decisions. They need to feel that their opinions count. This is where you keep talking to them. Have healthy discussions about what they value and let them see how you are happy to negotiate with them to ease them into more independence. Their voice counts in your family.
• Modelling your own beliefs about how girls should be treated is vital as an effective parent. Show them that you will not tolerate poor treatment of women in your own life and you have high expectations of their ability to be successful.
• Talk about some great examples of womanhood that you admire. Talk about what makes them strong and encourage your girl to aspire to being a strong, capable women.
These ideas are just to remind us that as parents we can start to develop positive thinking in our girls about their self worth and capabilities from a very early age. A girl's foundational years can strongly influence their self perception and their confidence and intuition to make well informed decisions that will give them happy outcomes in their life. We want them fully in charge of themselves.
Valuable resources for mastering effective communication with your child
In the hustle of a busy day, we might find ourselves talking quickly and sharply to our children. This can be frustrating for both parents and kids, as everyone wants to be heard and understood. It's normal to feel irritated when we don't get a response or feel like no one is listening. Gail Smith has some great tips to help us support our children and improve our conversations. Learning these skills can make a huge difference in how we communicate.
In the rush of the busy day, we sometimes talk to our children in short sharp bursts. This can be frustrating for the parent and the child, both struggling to be heard and to have their needs met. It is no wonder that we become irritated when we don't get an answer or we feel no one is listening.
Here are some helpful skills that we can use to support a child who needs to be heard. Acquiring these skills can significantly enhance the quality of our conversations.
When a child starts talking and you feel it is important to listen, then attending is a key skill to learn. This involves really being with the child, making appropriate eye contact, being still and focusing on what they have to say. This is all about using the right body language to let your child know that you are really listening. Here you give your total attention to the child.
Silence is a wonderful tool in showing your child that you are really listening. This means no interruptions to their talk and passively hearing what they have to say. Silence can be very powerful in communicating. It is especially helpful if the child is upset, angry or anxious.
As the child talks in order to let them know you are truly listening you can give head nods or perhaps mutter for example, ’Hmm, Really, Yes.” This gives them ongoing reassurance that you are listening and not making any judgements on what they have to say.
Encourage them to keep talking. ‘Would you like to talk more about that?’ This is indicating that you are there to listen and you want them to have every opportunity to talk for as long as they feel necessary. This is very helpful to young children who find it hard to articulate what they have to say.
If you feel your child needs the time to be heard, find a suitable place to have the conversations. Distractions, noise etc. can stop their flow of conversation leading to disappointment and frustration.
Keep to the same level as your child instead of towering over them. This makes them feel that you are genuinely listening.
Have a positive disposition as they talk. This may mean smiling and reassuring them that their feelings are valued.
When talking back use a gentle tone of voice where the child feels that there is no judgement or disappointment.
Finally, you can use active listening. This is picking up on what they see and repeating the essence of their conversation. ‘You said that when you fell on the school yard you felt so sad.’ Picking up the essence of their talk and especially the emotion will give them fuel for talking back with more information.
To help your child after they have disclosed something important and you have listened well, be clear in what you have to say, be correct in your response and always show compassion. In this way you develop trust.
“If you respect your child, then listen to what they have to say.”
The best way to influence your child is through modelling
When you have a strong bond with your child, you can teach them important values in a positive way. Kids often copy adults they look up to. You have a big influence on your child's life, so it's important to lead by example. Gail Smith explains why being a good role model is the best way to guide your child.
When you build a strong relationship with your child you have a greater capacity to influence them in a healthy way. This is such a positive way of effectively passing on your values and beliefs in a safe and reliable way. Children particularly model after admired adults. Think about your childhood. Were you strongly influenced by adults that you admired and respected?
Let’s consider why modelling is such an effective way of influencing our children without using power or other means that certainly don't have a long life.
There are few risks in damaging your relationship with your child. By modelling what you believe in you are not directly or adversely attempting to change the child. You are just being yourself.
Your modelling is how you live and what you value. The child can see how happy it makes you and how you enjoy living by your standards.
When you model some behaviour that puts you in a certain direction it demonstrates your convictions. For example, if you believe in a clean house, a clear message is being sent to your child that cleanliness is important in your life.
Being credible is important. Sticking by your convictions sends a very clear message to your child that being rock solid in beliefs is important.
The effects of modelling may take years. Be patient with your child, who will want to experiment with change along the way.
The advantage of modelling is that you are not using power to influence your child. You are just demonstrating that how you live is an acceptable way to operate. In this way your relationship continues to grow. The use of power can result in the rejection of you as a model.
Modelling is all about the longer-term effect for the child. You want them to reflect positively on your model when they are adults making their own decisions. Of course, being another generation there may be a few twists and turns to your influences but none the less they will be useful if valued.
Modelling well is not about being perfect. Just be authentic around your child. They know our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. What they observe is how we handle them.
Finally, never underestimate your capacity to influence your child in the longer term. However, once we use power to exercise and influence, we can damage our relationship and cloud our ability to be of value to your child.
“Be yourself, true and honest to your child. That makes them feel safe and happy.”
Using 'I' statements to get your message across to your child
"I" statements are about expressing your needs and feelings directly, fostering genuine communication. They help your child understand your perspective better, whether you're addressing a concern or praising their actions. Together with Gail Smith, let’s explore the impact of "I" statements in family communication.
An 'I' statement is all about self disclosure. It lets the person know that you have needs and feelings. It also let's the other person know your genuine thoughts. When you use 'I' statements with your child they have a much better understanding of how you feel.
Consider the positive 'I' statement:
“I am happy that you have cleared the table”.
“I feel better now that you are working on your homework”.
“I am excited that you got such a great result for your test. You tried so hard”.
• Giving your child a better understanding of your feelings gives them a stronger message and one that they appreciate and internalize more.
• Take care not to use the 'You' statement. It sounds so judgmental and evaluative. All the child hears is that sense of being judged even if it is a positive statement.
“You did the right thing by cleaning your room.” Here you feel that cleaning the room was almost a punishment! How about saying: “I am so pleased you cleaned the room. It looks so tidy now.”
• All positive 'I' messages should be a natural, spontaneous expression of your feelings. Your child will feel more secure when you use positive 'I' statements to deliver messages. They will hear your needs and respond in a happier way. I would even argue that they will listen with more intent.
Finally, when you give your child an 'I' statement, you are inviting them to address something that concerns you or perhaps you are praising them for something wonderful you noticed about them. The primary thoughts behind an 'I' statement are coming from you.
School is a magical place and children learn through many and varied mystical ways
Discover the magic of school beyond academics and schedules. It's a realm of enchantment, surprising lessons, and delightful moments. Explore with Gail Smith how to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and embrace the wonder of everyday learning.
As parents, we often view school through a pragmatic lens, focusing on academics, discipline, and schedules. But what if we told you that school is a place filled with enchantment, surprising lessons, and unexpected delights? Welcome to a realm where the extraordinary happens every day.
The Classroom as a Magical Workshop
Enter your child's classroom, where they don't just learn maths and science but the art of creativity. Teachers are the magicians who inspire imagination, and each notebook is a canvas for dreams. Learn the secret of fostering a love for learning and the unexpected joys of discovery. So much can happen in a classroom every day.
The Extracurricular Enchantment
Beyond the classroom, the real treasures await. From drama club to soccer practice, extracurricular activities are the magical keys to hidden talents and friendships. Discover how these hobbies unlock your child's unique potential. They are the great joy after formal school hours and they are such an enriching and enlivening experience.
Library Lore: Where Words Become Spells
Wander into the school library, a sanctuary where books are the enchanted portals to different worlds. Here, children discover the joy of reading and the power of storytelling. Learn how to nurture a lifelong love of literature and the spellbinding connections it weaves. Just a simple roaming around the books is a mindful experience.
The Playground: Where Rules Bend and Friendships Flourish
The schoolyard is not just for games; it's a realm where children master the art of negotiation, cooperation, and resilience. Explore the playground's hidden curriculum and the magic of recess that fosters life skills. Teachers on duty will tell you that life really happens on the playground.
Parent-Teacher Conferences - The Sorcery of Communication
Delve into parent-teacher conferences, where insights into your child's world are revealed. These meetings are like wizardly crystal balls, helping you understand your child's needs and strengths, and how to be an effective partner in their education journey. Listen closely to what is said and I don’t mean their test scores. The teachers really know how your child ticks. Here you can learn about what drives your child’s interests and passions.
School is a treasure chest of enchantment, where the everyday holds more wonder than you might have imagined. To keep the magic alive, remember to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and be open to the unexpected lessons that can't be found in textbooks. Listen and learn to what enlivens your child on a daily basis.
‘When you see your child’s school as a magical, mysterious house of learning, it becomes one.’
- Gail J Smith
Beware the roadblocks to good communication with your child
Have you ever noticed that sometimes our kids seem to tune us out or react in unexpected ways? It might be because we unintentionally create barriers to good communication with them. Discover with Gail Smith some common roadblocks we might unknowingly set up, thinking we're doing what's best for them.
Sometimes we wonder why our children are not listening or are reacting in unacceptable ways to what we have to say and do. Often it's as simple as the fact that we set up roadblocks to good communications with them. We often do this incidentally without any awareness that we are setting up barriers to talking with them without irritation and understanding. Consider below some of the barriers that we can set up often innocently and thinking we are operating in their best interest.
Take care not to be just giving out orders. After a while a child tunes out and the orders fall on deaf ears.
Sometimes we can get so tired that we just give warnings to stop poor behaviour as quickly as possible. If you keep swinging on the gate you will fall over on the concrete and hurt yourself.
As parents we know we have the responsibility of caring but sometimes we think we need to give the solutions to all their problems. How often do you ask others to tell you how to solve your problems.
Be careful with the use of language. When you use word like “stupid' and 'dumb” the child will only here that word and will think that you believe they are dumb. Language is a powerful tool or it can become a weapon. Take care with how you use it.
Try not to probe all the time. When you ask too many questions you will eventually get no response.
Try not to over analyze a child's behaviour. Often it is as simple as a child making a mistake. Move on quickly making it less complicated.
Sometimes we can use sarcasm to ward off a concern they have. Take care not to use adult wit to control conversations with a child. They know that it is a put down.
When we are busy we can change the subject very quickly. Always listen to your child and if busy say that you will talk about their concern later when you have more time. Remember that following up is important.
When we use roadblocks we can easily recognize how a child will shut down and lose an interest in talking to you. We are not about solving our child's problems. We are all about responsible parenting and not being a therapist. We slowly and steadily develop their independent thinking skills. We are an adviser and a wise model. We listen with care and we respect their right to have an opinion.
“A child feels heard when they hear no roadblocks limiting their conversations.”
A Few Tips on keeping a Calm Household
Navigating the hustle and bustle of family life can sometimes leave us feeling worn out and frazzled. Staying calm during the busy week can be hard. Here are some simple tips from Gail Smith to help reduce tension at home with your child.
We all know that busy families make for busy lives which of course leads to tiredness and tension from time to time. It is natural that being calm and steady throughout the busy week can almost become impossible. Below are a few simple tips on reducing weekly domestic tension with your child.
Try to be less a perfectionist. This can make you very unsettled if in a busy week your ideal plan does not go well. Remember you are dealing with children and their lives are messy and changing frequently. Being more flexible and less demanding of expectations on your part will make life easier.
Try to keep to routines and have schedules clearly visible for all to see. A child feels more secure when they know predicable patterns across the week occur. They are more unsettled when change occurs.
Plenty of sleep for everyone in the house is important. You need it as much as your child. Find some personal time in the day, just a few moments that you can call you own. How about that coffee in a cafe for five minutes?
On the weekend check in with your child for the week ahead. Talk about expectations you have and also discuss those days where your child will need to be contributing more. Getting them involved in planning the week ahead is vital for success.
When your child talks to you remember to be an effective listener. This may mean that you say, “I can't talk right now but after school we will sit down and I can listen to what you have to say.” Follow through with this as your child will not forget.
Use bedtime as a time to have more intimate chats with your child. They love to feel special and to know that you are really available.
With younger children talk at a slower pace if you are giving instructions. They will listen and respond better if they understand what you want from them.
During the day keep regular affirmations going. This gives your child reassurance that all is well. 'I love the way you pack your lunch for school. It makes a difference in getting to school on time.'
When having a stressed moment stop and take a deep breath before your respond to your child. It can make such a difference with your response which will carry less frustration to your child.
Try to keep down the clutter in the house. A very cluttered and disorganized environment makes for less calm children.
At the end of a week assess with your child how it all went. Were their positive moments and did you both get the best from the way it was organized? Being reflective may make for a better week next time.
All children work towards independence. From an early age they seek to do things on their own. This actually makes them happier. Consider whether you can give your child more responsibility for themselves. They will love the independence. Don't worry too much when it all goes poorly. Mistakes happen. That is how we all learn.
Be well aware of what is happening at school. There is nothing more frustrating than catching up with news when it is all too late. Read notices, plan ahead for dress up days. Etc. You will enjoy your child's school much more by being engaged.
Homework can be a stressful time for the household. Work out the best time for your child to do homework and have it set up in a comfortable, light filled space. You will be more relaxed knowing that your child is in an optimum environment for homework to be done. Also remember that teachers set homework and that if a child is struggling refer it back to the teacher.
Finally we live in an ever changing world with our child. There are always reasons why change must occur or plans altered due to illness, fatigue etc. Expect the unexpected but don't place the burden on yourself when everything does not go to plan. Flexibility and creativity will get you through those tricky moments.
“A parent who understands the changing nature of family, not only survives but thrives.”
Unlocking Creativity: Fun and Imaginative Activities for Parents to Inspire Their Children
Discover the incredible power you have as a parent to spark your child's imagination and creativity! Join Gail Smith, as she uncovers simple yet effective ways to inspire creativity right in your own home. You'll be amazed at what you can create together!
Be creative with your child. It is a wonderful way to engage and to do things together that are memorable and intellectually stimulating.
Consider:
Embark on storytelling adventures with your child. This could involve creating collaborative stories where each family member adds a sentence or taking turns inventing characters and plot twists. This is great for language development as well.
Provide ideas for artistic exploration, such as setting up a "creation station" with various art supplies and letting your child experiment with different mediums and techniques. It doesn’t need to be tidied up regularly.
Share simple and safe science experiments that you can do with your child at home. From creating homemade volcanoes to experimenting with colour-changing potions, these hands-on activities will spark curiosity and encourage scientific exploration.
As a family go on outdoor nature hunts, where your child can use their senses to explore the natural world around them. Consider creating scavenger hunt lists or nature bingo cards to guide their exploration and encourage observation skills. Give them a magnifying glass to explore what’s in the grass. It is great fun.
There are so many benefits of dramatic play in fostering creativity and imagination. As the parent you can set up themed dress-up corners or provide props and costumes for children to act out their own stories, plays, or adventures.
Consider musical exploration by exposing your child to a variety of musical genres and instruments. From creating homemade instruments to having dance parties, there are endless opportunities for musical discovery and expression.
Share kid-friendly cooking and baking recipes that parents can make with their children. Cooking together not only teaches valuable life skills but also encourages creativity and experimentation in the kitchen. Creating mess can be a healthy thing!
Consider building and construction challenges using materials like LEGO, blocks, or recycled materials. You can challenge your child to build tall towers, intricate structures, or imaginative worlds, fostering spatial reasoning and problem-solving skills. Find a safe and suitable space in the house to
spread out with all the blocks.
As the parent, offer tips for creating imaginative play spaces within the home, such as building forts, creating sensory bins, or transforming cardboard boxes into playhouses. These dedicated spaces provide your child with opportunities for open-ended play and imaginative exploration.
Cultivate a love for reading and storytelling by sharing a variety of books and stories with your child. Engage your child in discussions about characters, settings, and plot lines, inspiring their imagination and creativity. Try dramatizing sections of the book.
It is amazing how you the parent can inspire your child to be imaginative and creative. Look within your own home to find ways and means to be creative. You do not need to look far.
“A creative, imaginative child has an insatiable appetite for learning.”
Nurturing a Growth Mindset in Your Child
How do you encourage positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever? Dive into the world of positivity and belief in your child's potential with Gail Smith, as she unveils the secrets to fostering a growth mindset in your child.
In simple terms this is all about encouraging positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever.
Consider the following:
Explain to your child the concept of a growth mindset versing a fixed mindset, highlighting the importance of believing in one's ability to improve through effort and practice.
As a parent celebrate when your child tackles a difficult task or shows resilience in the face of challenges. Let them see that effort is rewarding.
As the parent, help your child re frame statements like "I can't do this" to "I can't do this yet," emphasizing the idea of growth and progress over time. It’s about never say never.
As the parent model a growth mindset in your own life. Share stories of your own challenges and successes, demonstrating perseverance and a positive attitude towards learning.
Parents can provide constructive feedback to their child that focuses on effort, progress, and specific actions rather than fixed traits or abilities. Use phrases like, "I noticed you worked really hard on that" or "What strategies did you try?"
Set realistic, achievable goals that align with your child’s interests and abilities. Involve your child in the goal-setting process and celebrate milestones along the way. All goals should be reasonable.
Provide a supportive home environment that encourages exploration, curiosity, and a love for learning. This could include having a designated study space, providing access to educational resources, and engaging in activities that foster creativity and critical thinking.
Re frame mistakes as valuable learning opportunities rather than failures. Discuss strategies for helping your child learn from their mistakes, such as problem-solving, reflection, and seeking help when needed. Making mistakes is a human process.
Celebrate your child's growth and progress, no matter how small. This could involve creating a growth mindset journal where children document their achievements and areas of improvement or holding a "growth mindset celebration" to recognize efforts.
Offer consistent support, encouragement, and reassurance to your child as they navigate challenges and strive for growth. Not everything will be perfect but their efforts are given much encouragement.
As your child grows they need to grow with a positive mindset where there is much personal belief and a sense that all is possible.
“Courage to continue matters more than success or failure”
What brings joy to you and your child?
The more we share joy with our children, the deeper and richer connection we make with them. Sharing joy triggers a host of significant physiological and psychological changes that improve our physical and mental health. Gail Smith shares some examples of what brings joy to your child.
It doesn’t take much for a child to feel joy. We can always help them feel that joy by our own actions. The more we share that joy the deeper and richer connection we make with our child. It also makes us very happy. It triggers a host of significant physiological and psychological changes that improves our physical and mental health.
Here are some examples of what brings joy to your child. Embrace it!
Seeing Your Child Laugh and Play Is Pure Joy
Watching your child burst into giggles while playing with their favourite toy or sharing a fun moment with friends at the park. Laugh with them. Feel the muscles move in your chest and enjoy the moment together.
Their Smile Brightens Up Your Day
When your child greets you with a big, toothy grin after school, or when they proudly show you a drawing they made. Notice how enlivening is their smile and how it makes you feel so much better.
Hearing Their Stories and Ideas Fills Your Heart with Joy
When your child excitedly tells you about their day at school, recounts a funny story, or shares their imaginative ideas for a new adventure.
Listen to what they have to say. There is so much joy in the way they express themselves and how they see the world.
Celebrating Milestones and Achievements Is a Source of Happiness
Witnessing your child take their first steps, reading their first book, or seeing them receive a certificate for a school accomplishment. With each milestone you know that your child is well on the way to being an independent individual. That should bring a smile to your face.
Quality Time Together Creates Special Memories and Joy
Enjoying a family game night, going on a nature hike, or having a cosy movie night complete with popcorn and snuggles. Find those special moments as a family. They don’t have to be large or complex. Make them spontaneous occasions where you can be together without any outside pressure. Build it into your week. Make it a family ritual that you get together and have some form of quality time.
Supporting Their Passions and Interests Brings Joy to Both of You
Encouraging your child's love for art by setting up a mini art studio at home or helping them explore their interest in science with exciting experiments.
Indulging your child’s passions will bring extreme pleasure and joy to your child. They will learn so much as they are keen to participate. Join them and learn from their excitement and joy. Its amazing how passions can become a life habit.
Our world is so much richer and calmer when there is a strong presence of joy in the world. Children are natural ‘joists’. They find joy in the simplest and least complicated aspects of life.
If you decide to join them you will lighten your world and build happy bridges with your child.
‘Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls”
- Mother Theresa
Let’s think about how good holidays are with our families
Embark on a journey with Gail Smith to uncover the joys and advantages of family holidays! Discover how these precious moments can strengthen family ties and create cherished memories that last a lifetime.
We are at the tail end of school term holidays and yes we are busy thinking and doing things that get us ready for the new year in the family schedule, not the least of which is school matters. Here I am reminding everyone to savour and still enjoy what is left of the holiday. They are such a gift for a family enabling them to connect in a deeper and special way. It is important to reflect on the good they have done for everyone in the family.
Consider the following thoughts that feed into our belief of the value of family holidays
A surprise research finding suggests that blood pressure is reduced when you take that well earnt rest whether it be for a weekend or longer. Also research suggests that heart disease is reduced and depression less likely when vacations are taken. So overall it is about improving your mental and physical health and this flows onto your children.
• Being on holidays with your child gives you the chance to build life long memories which are so important to the child. Happy memories can be life long.
• You break from the normal routine and this sets up lots of opportunities to connect in different ways. Sometimes these can be spontaneous and give you a chance to be seen in a completely different light by your children. Suddenly children may discover how funny their father is on holidays.
• Life at home comes with responsibilities, duties and order. Holidays can be worry free and less stress on completing tasks and doing jobs. It is about finding your family joy.
• Holidays have built in quantity times with your children. How often during the year do you find longer and more available space to fit in conversations and fun with your children?
• On holidays especially when the vacation is away from the home you get the opportunity to show and teach your child about nature and life issues. This could be teaching them about sea shells through to environmental matters such as why grass is green. This is a special time to step outside the norm as a parent and to be a real educator of culture and life.
• By having a regular family holiday you are building a holiday tradition. Children remember well how you as a family operate in such a situation. Photos can become long term cherished memories. For example, in a caravan you may share meals with other families regularly. With a beach holiday you may have a tradition of swimming together, burying each other in sand etc. All rich family traditions of being joyful together. It is all about celebrating the various values that bring us together. We also let go of feeling we must be in control and accountable.
• We all need stress busters from the busy years we have. We need an unwind time and a time for renewal. Family holidays can achieve so much in reducing stress.
You learn more about your children and they learn more about you through relaxed family holidays Often your children see a new you and enjoy what they see. Also you discover more about your child when you see them happily playing and engaged in more relaxed activities. In this space there is no judgement and lots of enjoyment.
Finally you can develop stronger and happier family bonds on holidays. You actually learn how to operate more effectively as a family unit. Such things as cooperation, better interaction and spontaneous joy come from family vacation.
So, I am wondering, have you planned your next trip?
‘The greatest legacy we can leave our children is happy memories.’
-Og Mandino
A few tips to keep the household happy
We all want a happy and contented home, but we also know how quickly a peaceful home can turn into a tense one. Gail Smith has some practical tips that could help keep your household a happy and safe environment for your children.
We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.
Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.
Consider:
keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.
Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?
Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.
Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.
Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.
At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.
Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.
Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.
Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.
Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.
Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.
Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.
These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.
“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”
Helping your child improve in spelling
Mastering spelling can be tricky for some kids, but with your early support, they'll become spelling superstars, communicating with confidence in their writing. Let Gail Smith guide you with some awesome tips to boost your child's spelling skills.
Spelling can be a tricky skill to develop for some children. The sooner you support their learning in this area, the greater chance they have of becoming effective spellers and can communicate well with others in their writing.
Here are some helpful suggestions:
Try having fun with spelling bees at home. Make it a game. Consider incorporating spelling activities into their daily routine.
Many news agencies sell phonic charts which are handy to have at home. From time to time you can refer to them to help your child retain some basic phonetics. Phonics teaches spelling patterns and rules.
Engage multiple senses in spelling practice. For example, with younger children have your child write words in sand or shaving cream to feel the shapes of the letters, or use magnetic letters to spell words on the fridge. Use art and craft activities to make up words perhaps in felt, paint etc.
Teach your child to break down longer words into smaller, more manageable chunks. This can help them understand the structure of words and make spelling them easier.
Play word games together that reinforce spelling skills, such as Scrabble, Boggle, or word search puzzles. These games make spelling practice fun and interactive.
Encourage your child to read aloud regularly. Hearing words pronounced correctly can reinforce their spelling and help them recognize common spelling patterns.
Have your child keep a spelling journal where they write down words they find challenging. Encourage them to revisit these words regularly and practice spelling them correctly.
Offer praise and encouragement when your child makes progress in spelling. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, to boost their confidence and motivation.
Take advantage of spelling apps and online resources designed to help children practice spelling in a fun and engaging way. Many of these apps offer interactive games and activities tailored to different age levels.
Spelling can be challenging for some children, so be patient and supportive as they learn. Avoid criticizing mistakes and instead focus on providing constructive feedback and encouragement.
Try introducing one new word each week. This can be the spelling challenge and see how your child can learn that tricky word in a week.
Spelling is linked to speech, writing, and reading. The more you encourage your child to use language, the more confident they become in having a go with tricky words. Repetition has a lot to do with improving spelling. The more you practice spelling words, the greater retention you have and the easier recall of that word over time.
“If we spell well we communicate well”
Encourage your child to write well
Writing is like giving your child a superpower—a way to express themselves, explore their thoughts, and tap into a world of creativity. It's not just about words on paper; it's about unlocking a whole new level of intellectual, physiological, and emotional growth. Dive into these exciting ideas by Gail Smith to cultivate your child's passion for writing, a skill that lies at the core of education!
Some children find it difficult to write. There are ways we can help them and of course, the best way to help is to write ourselves. There are many intellectual, physiological and emotional benefits to writing. It goes hand in glove with reading and cannot be seen as the poor cousin. It is believed that writing has wonderful therapeutic benefits and gives a child a voice. Words disappear into the ether, but written words can remain forever.
Here are some ideas to help your child build up an interest in writing which is very much at the heart of education.
Designate a special area in your home where your child can write comfortably. It could be a cozy corner with a desk or even just a designated cushion with a lap desk. Let them see that writing is encouraged in your home. Have plenty of writing materials hanging around.
Make sure your child has access to various writing materials such as pencils, pens, markers, crayons, and different types of paper. Let them experiment with different tools. For young children chalk on the ground is great fun.
Establish a regular time each day for writing. It could be before bedtime, after school, or during a quiet period on weekends. Consistency is key to forming good writing habits.
Encourage your child to keep a journal where they can write about their thoughts, feelings, daily experiences, or even stories they make up. Journaling can be a great way for children to express themselves freely. Perhaps giving your child a diary could be a great gift and introduction to writing.
Praise your child's writing efforts and celebrate their achievements, whether it's completing a story, writing neatly, or coming up with creative ideas. Display their work proudly or share it with family and friends.
Let your child see you writing. Whether it's making a grocery list, writing emails, or working on a personal project, show them that writing is a valuable skill used in everyday life.
Reading and writing go hand in hand. Encourage your child to read regularly and discuss the stories or information they encounter. Reading can inspire writing and improve vocabulary and language skills.
Present your child with fun writing challenges, such as writing a poem, creating a comic strip, or crafting a short story with a specific theme or word count. Joining in with these activities will make all the difference to your child.
Help your child understand the importance of writing by showing them how words can inform, entertain, persuade, and connect people. Encourage them to use their writing to express themselves and make a positive impact. Read sections of the newspaper to them that have an impact.
Enjoy reading what they have written. Together you can talk about the content and purpose of writing. Let them read aloud some of your writing as well.
Try suggesting to your child when they want to explain something that you would prefer they write it down for you to read. Sometimes an upset child can write down their feelings easier than talking about them.
Writing is a concrete statement. It can be kept and treasured. Promote your child’s writing by displaying it on fridges etc.
‘Once your child writes down their thoughts, they are expressing to the world a deeper statement about themselves.’ - Gail J Smith
Build self confidence in your child. You can make a big difference.
Empowering your child with self-confidence is like giving them the keys to steer their own life's journey. Dive into Gail Smith’s tips for fun and effective ways to nurture and boost your child’s belief in themselves.
Never underestimate the difference you can make for your child’s self confidence. Your child trusts your judgement and above all believes in you as their mentor and life support. They take what you say very seriously and need your reassurance. Here are some examples of how to keep up the important role of boosting their self confidence.
Encourage your child to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Whether it's mastering a new skill, completing a task independently, or showing kindness to others, take the time to celebrate their successes.
Provide specific and genuine praise for your child's efforts and accomplishments. Instead of just saying "good job," highlight what they did well and why it matters. They need to understand why they are receiving the praise, so label it.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk by affirming their strengths and abilities. Tell them how you like to hear them talk about their achievements out loud.
Help your child set realistic goals that they can work towards. Break larger goals into smaller steps and celebrate each milestone. This helps build a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Also they need to receive regular reassurance especially younger children.
Encourage your child to take healthy risks and step out of their comfort zone. Whether it's trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or making new friends. Teach them that making mistakes is part of life.
Give your child opportunities to make decisions and choices independently. Whether it's choosing what to wear, what to eat for snack, or what game to play, they will be more personally satisfied and more engaged in activities etc. if they take responsibility.
Teach your child resilience by helping them bounce back from setbacks and failures. Encourage them to learn from mistakes, problem-solve, and persevere in the face of challenges. Talk about how you do this in your life.
Be a positive role model for self-confidence by demonstrating confidence in yourself. Show your child how to handle challenges and how to embrace your strengths and weaknesses. Be authentic when you talk about yourself and all your foibles.
Above all, provide your child with unconditional love, acceptance, and support. Let them know that you believe in them, no matter what, and that you are always there to help them succeed.
You love them for who they are and in all circumstances.
Building self confidence in your child is all about teaching them that they can confidently be in charge of their own lives as time progresses. Here we are building emotional intelligence.
“Confident, happy children feel good about themselves and achieve well. It’s natural.”
Some simple ideas to slow down tension at home
Managing a bustling household often leads to tension, with everyone juggling tasks and schedules. To avoid potential issues, try these simple tips for a more harmonious home. Remember, small changes can make a big difference, so be kind to yourself as you navigate the challenges of parenting.
Busy home life can mean a build up of tension as everyone rushes around to complete jobs, homework, work schedules, sport practice etc. There is no shortage of activities that need to be done and as tension builds we can find ourselves angry and behaving in ways that we regret later.
Here are some simple suggestions to ward off problems that can arise from running a busy household where tension can easily build.
When you find yourself angry at some behaviour, take time out. It may only be a few minutes but it will slow down heightened feelings of anger and give you a chance to respond in a calmer way.
Be proactive. If you see some potential ares in which trouble can be brewing try to change patterns. For example, if siblings are fighting can you separate them to have time apart.
If you find yourself very tired, perhaps lighten your load and don’t expect as much of yourself on that day. Fatigue is a great stimulant for losing patience quickly.
When solving problems with your child choose language that is simple and uncomplicated. When a child is stressed they will not always hear everything you say, so keep it simple and to the point.
Avoid triggers that will set you off in an angry state. Also consider the triggers that set off your child. Are there some situations that can be avoided. Prevention is better that cure.
Practice breathing exercises. The more you learn to be calm and breathe well when a difficult situation presents itself, the better you will mange the situation.
Sometimes you can let things go! Consider, does everything have to be solved. Decide which is best, to be happy or to be right all the time.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to check in on why you are upset. Is it necessary? Is it really an issue for you?
Think about how damaging it is to the family to be angry and upset. Think about its importance to be resolved.
Remember the big picture. In the schema of life do you need to be angry over so many things. Consider that being a good enough parent is what is adequate. After all your journey with your child will be over many years. What can you let go that will make your life easier?
We do not live in a perfect world. Families can be a messy business and we have many pressures on us as parents to always make the best decisions for our children. Take little steps and be gentle on yourself as a parent. Allow your human side to be evident to all and find a peaceful style of working with your children.
“Children do not need us to shape them. They need us to respond to who they are.”
Keep your child active and engaged in life through outdoor activities
Getting kids active can be a challenge, especially with so many distractions like social media and video games. Gail Smith has some great tips to get your child excited about outdoor adventures and staying active.
Keeping our children active teaches them to enjoy the great outdoors and to appreciate how their body can be a wonderful source of physical activity and mental wellness. Children need balance and we know that there is much opposition with social media activities and sedentary computer games etc.
Here are some suggestions on how to engage your child in being more active and interested in the great outdoors:
Transform your backyard into a fun and inviting space for outdoor play. Set up a sandbox, water table, swing set, or playhouse where children can engage in imaginative play. Enjoy activities with them in this fun and active space.
Organize regular family outings to local parks, nature trails, or beaches. Pack a picnic, bring along outdoor games or sports equipment, and spend quality time together exploring nature and enjoying outdoor activities. Ensure your child has suitable clothing for outdoors. Let them choose some suitable clothing.
Take nature walks or hikes with your children to explore the natural world around them. Encourage them to observe plants, trees, insects, and animals, and ask questions to spark curiosity and learning. Collect bugs and let them have insect displays, nature trail maps etc. all visible around the house to talk about as a family.
Take advantage of seasonal outdoor activities throughout the year. Teach the children the beauty of the four seasons and refer often to how the seasons offer different outdoor activities.
Involve children in outdoor chores and make them enjoyable by turning them into games or challenges. For example, turn gardening into a treasure hunt for worms or challenge them to see who can rake the biggest pile of leaves.
Provide opportunities for active play outdoors, such as riding bikes, flying kites, playing tag, or kicking a ball around. Let children choose activities that interest them. Plan outdoor times such as ten minutes in between homework activities.
Be a positive role model by demonstrating your own enjoyment of outdoor activities. Join in the fun and show enthusiasm for spending time outdoors with your children them see how being active makes you happy.
Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage children to spend more time outdoors instead. Offer incentives or rewards for choosing outdoor play over screen time, such as extra playtime at the park or a special outdoor adventure.
Invest in outdoor toys and equipment that make outdoor play more enjoyable and accessible such as balls, frisbees, jump ropes, scooters, or sidewalk chalk.
It is always a matter of balance. However, given the social media war we face with our children so keen to be active with friends and networks through social media, it is reasonable to put forward the model of outdoor life. Once they embrace the feeling of personal well being and wellness from outdoor experiences, they will keep up the habit and learn how to balance life experiences better. Your own interest and passion in this area helps immensely to build their enthusiasm.
“Getting and being physical outdoors takes the edge away from anxieties.”
Parenting through uncertain times
In our fast-paced world, the internet and social media greatly influence how we see things. As a parent, navigating this can be tough. Check out Gail Smith's tips for creating a safe and supportive home environment for your child in this digital age.
We live in a fast moving world where internet and especially social media impact so much on how we see and interpret the world. I appreciate that for parents finding the right path to direct and support their child over their growing years comes with challenges.
The following thoughts may help to provide a domestic climate where a child feels safe and enabled in such an overstimulated world:
Communication is a vital key to supporting your children. Encourage open and honest communication with your children about what is happening. Provide age- appropriate information about the situation and answer their questions truthfully. Let them know that it's okay to feel scared or confused. Let them see how you are open to talking about all sorts of matters with no judgement.
Establishing and maintaining a consistent daily routine can provide children with a sense of stability and predictability during uncertain times. Routine and family rituals are comforting to a child who needs to know their boundaries and limitations.
Limit children's exposure to news coverage and social media discussions about the uncertain situation. Instead, provide updates and information in a calm and reassuring manner. Read newspapers with information that is appropriate to be read.
Validate your child's feelings and emotions regularly, acknowledging that it's normal to feel scared, anxious, or uncertain during challenging times. Encourage them to express their feelings through talking, drawing, or writing them. Let them see how you manage your emotions and deal with unsettling situations. Be authentic.
Help children focus on what they can control in the situation, such as practicing good hygiene, following safety guidelines, and engaging in activities that promote well-being. Empower them to take positive actions within their control. Talk about what is reasonable to be in their control.
If a child can learn to problem solve they become independent learners. Teach children problem-solving skills and encourage them to brainstorm solutions to the challenges they are facing. Sometimes breaking down problems into smaller parts makes solutions easier to manage.
Model self-care behaviours for your children by taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Let them see that you value personal care to nurture your self interests.
Help children stay connected with friends and loved ones through virtual means, such as video calls, online games etc. Social connections can provide comfort and support during uncertain times. Remember it takes a village to bring up a child.
Encourage resilience by highlighting examples of resilience in stories, movies, or real-life experiences. Help children recognize their own strengths and abilities to overcome challenges and bounce back from adversity. Affirm regularly their strengths when you notice them.
If you notice signs of significant distress, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a counsellor, therapist, or mental health professional who specializes in working with children. Such help is readily available to families.
Let’s be optimistic and positive with our children letting them see that with good care and proper directions today’s world can be understood and managed. As a parent negotiating your own way through today’s world will be a challenge. However, with a little bit of reflection and care you can make such a difference for your child.
“Whilst we live in uncertain times, let’s be certain we value effective parenting
to make the difference for our children.”
Supporting your child with homework and developing good study habits
Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings homework to complete. Discover with Gail Smith why supporting your children's efforts and valuing extended learning at home is crucial. Be a pillar of support for your child's educational journey!
Homework can be controversial in many teaching circles. However, if a child is given homework, it is important to support their efforts and let it be seen that extended learning from school is valued in your home and you will be a support.
Consider the following:
Set aside a designated time and space for homework each day to create a consistent routine. This helps children develop a sense of structure and responsibility. Find a comfortable space for your child in which to complete the homework.
Break down homework assignments into smaller, more manageable tasks. Encourage your child to focus on completing one task at a time. Sometimes they can be daunted by looking at the amount of work to do overnight or in a few days.
Do not labour over homework tasks that the child is finding too difficult. Stress that they can discuss it with the teacher on the next day. After all the teacher set the homework.
Create a quiet and organized study space free from distractions, such as television or electronic devices. Offer support and encouragement as needed, but encourage independence and problem-solving skills. Watch the time that the homework is completed. Doing homework when a child is tired or anxious
is doomed for failure.
Teach your child effective time management skills, such as prioritizing tasks, setting goals, and creating a homework schedule. Help them learn to plan their homework out well.
Encourage your child to take regular breaks during homework sessions to rest and recharge. Encourage physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep to support overall well-being. Create an enjoyable atmosphere around homework time.
Provide guidance and support when needed, but avoid completing assignments for your child. Encourage them to ask questions, seek clarification from teachers, and use available resources such as textbooks, websites, or tutoring services. Take care not to get in an argument about their completing homework when they are struggling with the activity. This is where you need teacher intervention.
Encourage a growth mindset by praising effort, persistence, and improvement rather than focusing solely on grades or outcomes. Let their homework time be a time for learning in an inquiring way but with no tension.
Celebrate your child's successes and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and motivation to continue working hard.
Stay informed about your child's progress and any challenges they may be facing with homework. Communicate regularly with teachers to address concerns and seek additional support or resources if needed. Talk to their teacher about your child’s capacity to do the homework.
Model good study habits and a positive attitude toward learning in your own behaviour. Let your child see you reading, learning, and problem-solving in your daily life. Perhaps you could sometimes have a quite study time while they are doing their homework
There are various professional opinions about the value of homework. Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings home work to complete. Let them see that learning is ongoing and not just between the school hours.
“Teach your child that learning happens all the time. Homework is merely one component of a very big picture.”
The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image
In today's world, our children can face many challenges when it comes to body image. It's important to help them develop a positive view of themselves. Gail Smith explains why this is so crucial and offers tips on how you can support your child in this process.
As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.
Consider the following suggestions:
Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and
behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about
how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very
comfortable in your skin.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-
acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather
than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about
yourself is so important.
Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of
nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and
getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise
self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body
beautiful image.
Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and
how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical
thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an
important message.
Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.
Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about
themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the
joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or
performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.
Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels
accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and
provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make
your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.
Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,
intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a
strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than
superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.
Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative
body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and
influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave
healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and
hygiene.
If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek
professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image
and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves
especially when they enter teenage years.
Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!
“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”