Let’s reflect on how we are going in our parenting

Every now and again it is worth checking in to see how you are travelling as a parent. Here are some thoughts that may trigger some simple changes that benefit you in building a stronger relationship with your child.

• How do you feel about your current communication with your child? Do you think you are communicating well? Keep in mind the importance of simply listening to your child.

• Are there areas in your parenting where you feel confident, and where do you feel you could improve? Think about how you could improve in certain areas. Perhaps look on line for courses or simply chat to other parents. It is wonderful to do some critical reflection in this area.

• What strategies do you use to connect with your child on an emotional level? Think about how you talk about emotions. Are you an open person in this area of communication or not?

• How do you handle conflicts or disagreements with your child? Do you need to work on this area, learning to be more compromising and prepared to be a negotiator? This can be quite a stopping block in communicating with our children.

• Are you satisfied with the balance between setting boundaries and fostering independence in your child? Are you prepared to keep adjusting that line of giving your child progressively more independence? They of course will keep up the demand for more independence overtime.

• What values or principles do you prioritize in your parenting approach? Am I prepared to accept other values? Remember we don’t have access to all the truth about such matters as dress, proper language, beliefs etc.

• How do you manage stress or frustration when parenting becomes challenging? This is an area that we need to reflect on as we model so much to our children. Your anxiety can easily transfer to them.

• Are there any specific aspects of your relationship with your child that you would like to strengthen? It is always good to reflect on the quality of our parenting as our children grow and change overtime and their parenting needs keep shifting.

• How do you express love and appreciation to your child? Children need regularly to be nurtured and reassured. Do you need to press the refresh button in this area from time to time.

• What changes, if any, would you like to make in your parenting style or approach? If you genuinely feel a need for change there are many parenting courses on offer. The more we understand about parenting, the safer and more reliable the journey as a parent.

• Do I think I am getting my own needs met and my feelings of self worth as a parent? Feeling mentally strong and healthy yourself will make all the difference to your parenting.

Finally, always keep everything in perspective. Parenting is part of the human condition and it is not a perfect discipline. We are constantly evolving as parents and growing children and with that comes shifting demands and needs of parenting. Some of it is trial and error. Some comes automatically, some comes learnt from family habits and some is simply learnt on the spot. Parenting is a very fluid process of adjusting to constantly developing needs of children. As our children grow, we should keep growing as parents.

“I came to parenting the way most of us do- knowing nothing and trying to learn everything.”

— Mayim Bialik

School is a magical place and children learn through many and varied mystical ways

As parents, we often view school through a pragmatic lens, focusing on academics, discipline, and schedules. But what if we told you that school is a place filled with enchantment, surprising lessons, and unexpected delights? Welcome to a realm where the extraordinary happens every day.

1.  The Classroom as a Magical Workshop

   Enter your child's classroom, where they don't just learn maths and science but the art of creativity. Teachers are the magicians who inspire imagination, and each notebook is a canvas for dreams. Learn the secret of fostering a love for learning and the unexpected joys of discovery. So much can happen in a classroom every day.

2. The Extracurricular Enchantment

   Beyond the classroom, the real treasures await. From drama club to soccer practice, extracurricular activities are the magical keys to hidden talents and friendships. Discover how these hobbies unlock your child's unique potential. They are the great joy after formal school hours and they are such an enriching  and enlivening experience.

3. Library Lore: Where Words Become Spells

   Wander into the school library, a sanctuary where books are the enchanted portals to different worlds. Here, children discover the joy of reading and the power of storytelling. Learn how to nurture a lifelong love of literature and the spellbinding connections it weaves. Just a simple roaming around the books is a mindful experience.

4. The Playground: Where Rules Bend and Friendships Flourish

   The schoolyard is not just for games; it's a realm where children master the art of negotiation, cooperation, and resilience. Explore the playground's hidden curriculum and the magic of recess that fosters life skills. Teachers on duty will tell you that life really happens on the playground.

5.  Parent-Teacher Conferences - The Sorcery of Communication

   Delve into parent-teacher conferences, where insights into your child's world are revealed. These meetings are like wizardly crystal balls, helping you understand your child's needs and strengths, and how to be an effective partner in their education journey. Listen closely to what is said and I don’t mean their test scores. The teachers really know how your child ticks. Here you can learn about what drives your child’s interests and passions.

School is a treasure chest of enchantment, where the everyday holds more wonder than you might have imagined. To keep the magic alive, remember to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and be open to the unexpected lessons that can't be found in textbooks. Listen and learn to what enlivens your child on a daily basis.

‘When you see your child’s school as a magical, mysterious house of learning, it becomes one.’

- Gail J Smith

A Few Tips on keeping a Calm Household

We all know that busy families make for busy lives which of course leads to tiredness and tension from time to time. It is natural that being calm and steady throughout the busy week can almost become impossible. Below are a few simple tips on reducing weekly domestic tension with your child.

• Try to be less a perfectionist. This can make you very unsettled if in a busy week your ideal plan does not go well. Remember you are dealing with children and their lives are messy and changing frequently. Being more flexible and less demanding of expectations on your part will make life easier.

• Try to keep to routines and have schedules clearly visible for all to see. A child feels more secure when they know predicable patterns across the week occur. They are more unsettled when change occurs.

• Plenty of sleep for everyone in the house is important. You need it as much as your child. Find some personal time in the day, just a few moments that you can call you own. How about that coffee in a cafe for five minutes?

• On the weekend check in with your child for the week ahead. Talk about expectations you have and also discuss those days where your child will need to be contributing more. Getting them involved in planning the week ahead is vital for success.

• When your child talks to you remember to be an effective listener. This may mean that you say, “I can't talk right now but after school we will sit down and I can listen to what you have to say.” Follow through with this as your child will not forget.

• Use bedtime as a time to have more intimate chats with your child. They love to feel special and to know that you are really available.

• With younger children talk at a slower pace if you are giving instructions. They will listen and respond better if they understand what you want from them.

• During the day keep regular affirmations going. This gives your child reassurance that all is well. 'I love the way you pack your lunch for school. It makes a difference in getting to school on time.'

• When having a stressed moment stop and take a deep breath before your respond to your child. It can make such a difference with your response which will carry less frustration to your child.

• Try to keep down the clutter in the house. A very cluttered and disorganized environment makes for less calm children.

• At the end of a week assess with your child how it all went. Were their positive moments and did you both get the best from the way it was organized? Being reflective may make for a better week next time.

• All children work towards independence. From an early age they seek to do things on their own. This actually makes them happier. Consider whether you can give your child more responsibility for themselves. They will love the independence. Don't worry too much when it all goes poorly. Mistakes happen. That is how we all learn.

• Be well aware of what is happening at school. There is nothing more frustrating than catching up with news when it is all too late. Read notices, plan ahead for dress up days. Etc. You will enjoy your child's school much more by being engaged.

• Homework can be a stressful time for the household. Work out the best time for your child to do homework and have it set up in a comfortable, light filled space. You will be more relaxed knowing that your child is in an optimum environment for homework to be done. Also remember that teachers set homework and that if a child is struggling refer it back to the teacher.

Finally we live in an ever changing world with our child. There are always reasons why change must occur or plans altered due to illness, fatigue etc. Expect the unexpected but don't place the burden on yourself when everything does not go to plan. Flexibility and creativity will get you through those tricky moments.

“A parent who understands the changing nature of family, not only survives but thrives.”

— Gail J Smith

A few tips to keep the household happy

We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.

Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.

Consider:

 keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.

 Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?

 Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.

 Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.

 Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.

 At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.

 Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.

 Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.

 Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.

 Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.

 Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.

 Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.

These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.

“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”

— Gail J Smith

Keep your child active and engaged in life through outdoor activities

Keeping our children active teaches them to enjoy the great outdoors and to appreciate how their body can be a wonderful source of physical activity and mental wellness. Children need balance and we know that there is much opposition with social media activities and sedentary computer games etc.

Here are some suggestions on how to engage your child in being more active and interested in the great outdoors:

• Transform your backyard into a fun and inviting space for outdoor play. Set up a sandbox, water table, swing set, or playhouse where children can engage in imaginative play. Enjoy activities with them in this fun and active space.

• Organize regular family outings to local parks, nature trails, or beaches. Pack a picnic, bring along outdoor games or sports equipment, and spend quality time together exploring nature and enjoying outdoor activities. Ensure your child has suitable clothing for outdoors. Let them choose some suitable clothing.

• Take nature walks or hikes with your children to explore the natural world around them. Encourage them to observe plants, trees, insects, and animals, and ask questions to spark curiosity and learning. Collect bugs and let them have insect displays, nature trail maps etc. all visible around the house to talk about as a family.

• Take advantage of seasonal outdoor activities throughout the year. Teach the children the beauty of the four seasons and refer often to how the seasons offer different outdoor activities.

• Involve children in outdoor chores and make them enjoyable by turning them into games or challenges. For example, turn gardening into a treasure hunt for worms or challenge them to see who can rake the biggest pile of leaves.

• Provide opportunities for active play outdoors, such as riding bikes, flying kites, playing tag, or kicking a ball around. Let children choose activities that interest them. Plan outdoor times such as ten minutes in between homework activities.

• Be a positive role model by demonstrating your own enjoyment of outdoor activities. Join in the fun and show enthusiasm for spending time outdoors with your children them see how being active makes you happy.

• Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage children to spend more time outdoors instead. Offer incentives or rewards for choosing outdoor play over screen time, such as extra playtime at the park or a special outdoor adventure.

• Invest in outdoor toys and equipment that make outdoor play more enjoyable and accessible such as balls, frisbees, jump ropes, scooters, or sidewalk chalk.

It is always a matter of balance. However, given the social media war we face with our children so keen to be active with friends and networks through social media, it is reasonable to put forward the model of outdoor life. Once they embrace the feeling of personal well being and wellness from outdoor experiences, they will keep up the habit and learn how to balance life experiences better. Your own interest and passion in this area helps immensely to build their enthusiasm.

“Getting and being physical outdoors takes the edge away from anxieties.”

— Gail J Smith

Building confidence in your child

From the moment a child is born there will be small signs of seeking independence. Perhaps ever so subtle but none the less there is a definite presence of wanting to be independent. As parents our role is to be the nurturer and provide safety and security for our child. For a parent, letting go of your responsibility can be difficult. Research tells us, that as a child reaches out for more independence, we demonstrate better parenting, if we gently walk with them as they take steps to strengthen their personal growth. There are many reasons why being alongside your child as they take independent steps is a mature way of parenting. Consider:

• Developing independence empowers children to believe in themselves and their abilities. As they accomplish tasks on their own, they gain confidence in their skills and decision-making capabilities. There is nothing like feeling successful when taking a new independent step.

• Independence fosters problem-solving skills. When children face challenges independently, they learn to think critically, adapt to new situations, and find creative solutions. They understand that they must rely on themselves and this does not frighten them.

• Learning to be independent instils a sense of responsibility in children. They understand the consequences of their actions and take ownership of tasks, fostering accountability and self-reliance. They will try different solutions to problems and not be intimidated by an occasional failure.

• Independence allows children to make decisions and choices on their own. Through these experiences, they learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and develop sound decision-making abilities. There is nothing more liberating than making your own decisions.

• Independence encourages self-reliance. Children become more resourceful and resilient as they learn to depend on themselves to accomplish tasks and overcome obstacles. They will ask questions but not expect to be given the answer.

• Developing independence prepares children for adulthood. By learning essential life skills and becoming self-sufficient, they gain the confidence and competence to thrive in the responsibilities of adulthood. Little by little they step into an adult world, well prepared with less surprises.

• Independence contributes to building healthy relationships. Children who are independent are better able to communicate their needs, assert boundaries, and engage in mutually respectful interactions with others. This is all about developing emotional maturity.

• Independence fosters a spirit of exploration and creativity. When children have the freedom to pursue their interests and ideas independently, they are more likely to discover new passions and talents. They become better risk takers and enjoy the challenge.

• Developing independence helps children form their own identity. As they make choices and pursue interests that align with their values and preferences, they gain a clearer sense of who they are and what they stand for. A child with such confidence will attract like minded children. This makes for forming healthy relationships.

In my experience as school principal, it was always the case that children who were given opportunities to demonstrate independence appeared happy and self assured. They engaged with all sorts of peers and were comfortable in many settings.

“Building independence in your child is all about sound parenting.”

— Gail J Smith

Be available to listen to your child at this early stage of the school year

At this early stage of the school year it is most important to be a good listener to your child. There will be the usual challenges and adjustments with a new classroom teacher and a different culture of children in a class. They need to have your ear when they come home. Some reasons for effective listening are listed below. You may identify with some as only you know how your child responds to change.

• Being a good listener builds trust between you and your child. Once trust is established they will talk more about their deep concerns. They will safe to talk.

• By actively listening, you can understand any concerns or anxieties your child may have about the new school year. Addressing these concerns helps them feel supported.

• Listening attentively to your child's thoughts and feelings promotes their emotional well-being. It provides a safe space for them to express themselves, reducing stress and fostering a positive mindset.

• Effective listening helps you identify your child's needs, whether they're related to schoolwork, social interactions, or personal challenges. This allows you to provide appropriate support and guidance. It is different for every child.

• When you listen well you will actually be surprised at what you hear. Then asking simple questions may help get to the bottom of the problem sooner.

• When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their confidence. Knowing that their opinions and experiences matter encourages them to engage more actively in school and other social situations. Sometimes just talking it through is enough!

• Actively listening to your child strengthens the bond between you. It creates a sense of connection and security, making them more likely to turn to you for guidance and support. That is the right place for your child to get the support.

• Understanding your child's thoughts about school allows you to provide targeted support for their academic success. You can address any challenges they may be facing and work together on solutions.

• When you get into the habit of listening well your child will expect nothing less. However the reward is the richness of conversation that develops.

• A child who feels vulnerable in talking about their concerns will only disclose if they are genuinely listened to in a safe and trusting environment. Know your child’s needs.

• Time is needed to be an active listener. You cannot do it on the run. Allow time when your child needs to talk.

At this early stage of the year is it a good idea to be readily available to listen to your child. They may need that comfortable ear.

“When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly”

— Gail J Smith

Building stronger relationships with your child

There is no right way to build stronger relationships with your child. There are many ideas and suggestions. Here are a few suggestions that may help.

Quality Time Tokens: Create "Quality Time Tokens" – special cards or tokens that kids can use to request dedicated one-on-one time with a parent for activities they enjoy. This can be fun in the making.

Story Sharing Sessions: Initiate regular "Story Sharing Sessions" where both parent and child take turns sharing anecdotes, dreams, or stories from their day. It promotes communication and strengthens bonds. Great to do this at dinner time or bedtime

Involvement in Their World: Engage in "Their World" by showing interest in their hobbies, favourite shows, or games. It demonstrates care and understanding of their interests. Accept all their ideas and take care not to place judgements on their suggestions.

Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a "Gratitude Jar Ritual" by jotting down things you're grateful for about each other. Read these notes together periodically to foster appreciation and connection.

Decision-Making Together: Involve children in "Family Decision-Making" by allowing them to contribute ideas or have a say in certain family choices. It promotes a sense of responsibility and value in their opinions.

The above thoughts are simple suggestions to keep up the task of building better relationships with your child. Every family is different. You may already have some fun and endearing ways of building a unique relationship with your child.

‘Your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job: It’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.’

James Lehman

Finding balance between structured activities and long summer holidays

The school holidays can seem long at times and there will be moments of boredom where the children are struggling to find activities to do. Consider mixing a few enjoyable structured activities with those long summer days.

Here are some ideas to get you thinking:

Creative Workshops or Classes: Enrol your child in a creative workshop or class, such as art, music, or coding. These structured activities allow them to explore new skills in a fun and educational environment. They also get to meet new friends.

Summer Reading Program: Implement a summer reading program with specific goals and rewards. Set aside dedicated time each day for reading, and make it an enjoyable experience by discussing the stories together. Have lots of books lying around the house.

Nature Explorations and Scavenger Hunts: Plan structured nature outings or scavenger hunts to explore the outdoors. This provides a blend of structure and adventure, allowing children to learn about nature in a hands-on way.

Cooking or Baking: This is always a winner with children and so therapeutic for everyone.

Gardening Project: Start a small gardening project with your child. It could involve planting and caring for flowers, herbs, or vegetables. This structured activity teaches responsibility and introduces kids to the wonders of nature. It’s fun planting and fun watering.

Weekly Family Movie Nights with Discussions: Designate a specific night each week for a family movie night. Choose movies that are not only entertaining but also have meaningful themes. After the movie, engage in discussions with your child, encouraging them to share their thoughts and insights.

Structured Games: Have a game night where you play scrabble, monopoly or twister. Just make it a fun night with popcorn.

As we approach the latter bracket of school holiday it is a great idea to bring the troupes in to work together as the year ahead will be a busy one.

“Cause a little bit of Summer is what the whole year is about.”

— John Mayer

Make learning innovative and fun

Make your home and family experiences to educate where possible. Make it light and enjoyable. Recognize that here is a small window of opportunity in which you can do this with your child. You are after all the first educators of your child and how and what you present to them has an impact. Show them that all of life is a learning experience and that it is ongoing.

1. Make Education Playful:

   Introduce ramification into your child’s learning process. Turn educational tasks into games or challenges. For example, create a scavenger hunt for learning materials or use educational apps that turn subjects into interactive quests. This approach infuses excitement and motivation into their educational endeavors. Make education a fun based occasion where possible. Let them see that learning is all about exciting the imagination and discovering.

2. Podcasting for Expression and Learning:

   Encourage your child to start a podcast! Podcasting isn’t just for adults; it’s a fantastic way for children to articulate their thoughts, interview experts on topics they're studying, or even create stories and share their discoveries. This not only enhances communication skills but also deepens their understanding of subjects. Using modern ideas such as podcasts excites their imagination and is a contemporary concept.

3. The Art of Debate and Critical Thinking:

   Introduce your child to the art of debate and critical thinking. Encourage them to voice their opinions on various topics and support them in researching and defending their points. This not only enhances their communication skills but also teaches them to think critically and argue logically. Encourage their different opinions and welcome their critical thoughts. Giving them this freedom of speech is such an independent form of learning and builds self confidence.

4. Outdoor Classroom and Nature Immersion:

   Take the classroom outdoors! Arrange nature walks, science experiments in the garden, or even art sessions in the park. Nature immersion not only connects children to the environment but also enhances creativity and problem-solving skills. Set up tables and resources that they can use when playing in the a garden.

5. Home Experiments and Maker Culture:

   Set up a mini laboratory at home! Engage your child in simple  science experiments or arts and crafts projects that foster a sense of curiosity and discovery. The maker culture encourages innovation, problem-solving, and hands-on learning. Do you have a spare room where this can all happen?

6. International Pen Pals and Cultural Exchange:

   Connect your child with pen pals from different parts of the world. This introduces them to diverse cultures, broadens their global perspective, and enhances their language skills. Precautions should be taken to ensure on line safety ofcourse. Encouraging cultural exchange fosters empathy and understanding. Have you thought of adopting an overseas student for the year?

7. Financial Literacy and Entrepreneurial Spirit:

   Teach your child about finances and entrepreneurship. Set up a small business venture at home, like a lemonade stand or a craft sale, and involve them in budgeting, managing finances, and understanding the value of money. Simple things like keeping a piggy bank are great learning tools.

8. The theater of life:

   There is so much in life that a child,can learn spontaneously. Point out the interesting aspects of life that you notice. Also on a more formal basis take your child to the theatre to see how art imitates life and how there is so much to learn from drama and the visual arts.

‘Life is education. Invite your child to see it and embrace it through your learnt experiences.’

- Gail J Smith

Nurturing Your Child's Well-Being: A Guide for Parents to Cultivate Hope and Resilience

In the whirlwind of modern parenting, nurturing a child’s well-being has taken on new dimensions. With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. As a parent, you play a pivotal role in guiding and supporting your child on this journey towards well-being. Here are some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet sometimes challenging endeavour.

1. Encourage Open Communication

   Communication is the cornerstone of understanding your child's world. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and emotions. Such an environment will give your child the liberty to talk freely and to feel that their opinions and ideas are valued. This environment places no judgement and is open to listen at all times

2. Foster a Supportive Environment

   Children flourish when they feel supported. Whether it's a difficult maths problem or a problem with a friend, show your child that you're there to offer guidance and encouragement.  Achievements are to be celebrated as much as the effort that is put into activities. Such a supportive environment is also one that makes a child feel safe being around reliable and trusted people.

3. Prioritise Mental and Physical Health

   A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Encourage regular physical activity, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep. There many ways to work on mental and physical health and your modelling is very important here. A child needs to see that you value your own good health and well being. Talk about healthy ideas and associate with environments that nourish positive thinking about eating well and living well.

4. Instil Resilience and Coping Skills

   Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching your child to navigate these fluctuations is a priceless gift. Resilience is such a key catalyst in building emotional maturity. Teach your child how failure can be a positive growth curve and that we learn best by taking risks and having a go. Putting ourselves in challenging situations is also another way of learning resilience.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

   While it's natural to want the best for your child, it's crucial to set realistic expectations. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. It is most important to learn about balance and to recognise what is a realistic challenge for your child. Take care that they set goals that are within reach. Progressive success along the way is the best form of encouragement.

6. Lead by Example

   Children often emulate the behaviours they observe in their parents. Show them how you handle stress, make decisions, and maintain a positive outlook. Being a model can be tiring and so your child simply wants your honest efforts put forward. Be authentic, when you make a mistake be honest about it but let your child know how you keep trying.

Well being is a life long journey of discovery about yourself. As a parent you have the joy of being such an important part of their early well being. You cannot be  perfect in this area in fact if you try too hard you will wear yourself out and feel frustrated by your lack of achievements. Simply be yourself and take care to provide a climate that is inviting and welcoming to your growing child.

‘A happy home is full of grace and well being’

- Gail J Smith

The value of spending time and having fun with your child

Having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships. Positive memories of childhood are often seen through those wonderful relaxed times, with no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company. Consider the following thoughts that give good reasons why this is valuable time spent in the company of your child.

1. Building Strong Emotional Bonds

   Emotional Connection:

   Spending quality time creates a strong emotional bond between you and your child. It fosters trust and security, which is essential for their emotional development. There is nothing more exhilarating than simply playing with your child.

2.  Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence

   Boosting Self-Esteem:

   Engaging in fun activities with your child helps them feel valued and important. Positive interactions and shared experiences contribute to building their self-esteem and confidence. They feel secure and confident that they are valued and that your time with them is precious.

3. Enhancing Communication and Understanding

   Open Communication:

   Quality time together often leads to better communication. It offers opportunities for meaningful conversations and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and interests. You are more inclined to listen to each other and to be less intimidated by what they have to say.

4.  Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-being

   Reducing Stress and Anxiety:

   Fun activities and shared experiences can reduce stress and anxiety, both for the child and the parent. Laughter and play contribute to a positive emotional state. The less stress the better and safer the environment for the child. We think more clearly and act more responsibly when less stressed.

5.  Creating Lasting Memories and Values

   Building Memories and Values:

   The time spent together creates lasting memories that your child will cherish. It also helps instil important values, such as the significance of relationships and having fun in life. Never underestimate the imprint you make as your child builds their tapestry of memories. It is well known that happy spontaneous moments can easily become life long memories.

We sometimes can become preoccupied with providing full on activities and experiences for our children. Remember that for them images of being together with you, relaxed and happy is the key to sharing lasting joy together. One of my most vivid and happy childhood memories is my grandmother putting a red tea towel on her head and doing a Spanish dance around the kitchen.

I was six!

 ‘Have fun with your child. There is much to gain for both of you.’

 - Gail J Smith

Encourage creativity in our children

Einstein once said: Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

All great learners were creative. They experimented with ideas, challenged their thoughts, looked outside the square and developed a vision of what they wanted to achieve. As a parent you can find many ways to develop your child’s creativity and of course encourage them to follow their passions. The thoughts below are a guide to reflecting on how creativity can be a major driving force of learning for your child.

Creativity encourages Inquisitiveness and Exploration
Creativity sparks curiosity, prompting children to explore and question the world around them. Let them ask those important questions.

A child encouraged to ask "What if?" might explore science experiments, leading to a lifelong interest in discovery and learning. There is no room for self doubt with creativity.

Creativity develops Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving Skills
Creative activities challenge children to think critically and solve problems, essential skills for effective learning.

Building with blocks or solving a puzzle encourages creative problem-solving, laying the foundation for analytical thinking. Play games with your child and encourage different types of formal learning such as chess, dominoes etc.

Creativity fosters a Love for Learning
Creative pursuits make learning enjoyable, fostering a love for discovering new things. This is all about following those passions that drive your interest

Engaging in imaginative storytelling or creative writing can make literature and language exciting, creating a positive association with learning. Encourage your child with reading.

Creativity enhances Communication and Expression
Creative activities provide children with various avenues to express themselves, improving communication skills. Think about how wonderful drama is to enrich the spirit.

Drawing, painting, or even acting out stories allows children to convey their thoughts and feelings, enhancing their ability to communicate effectively. Allow your child to sing, dance, recite invent plays etc. It is all about being creative.

Creativity promotes Adaptability and Resilience

Creativity encourages adaptability and resilience by teaching children to approach challenges with an open mind. They should not be afraid of failure but see it as an opportunity to rethink.

When faced with a setback, a child accustomed to creative problem-solving might see it as an opportunity to try a different approach. In fact they enjoy the challenge looking at alternative ways of thinking..

If our children are encouraged to explore and to see the world through creative eyes, they will be creators, innovators, leaders etc. Creativity gives you the confidence to think freely and to take risks in learning that can lead you into new directions. Be the parent that invites creativity into the life of your child. They will be happier and richer for the experience.

‘Creativity is intelligence having fun’

-Albert Einstein

Christmas Home Decorations - Rituals And Happy Memories

There is magic in Christmas for all children. Fantasy, dreams and excitement mount. The build up brings incredible joy and imaginations run rife. When the family decorates the tree and house in bright lights and colours, the home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas has so much long term value for your child.

Creativity and expression at Christmas time
Engaging in Christmas decorations encourages creativity and self-expression among children. They get to choose colours, designs, and arrangements, fostering their imaginative skills and allowing them to express themselves freely through decoration choices. This creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to channel emotions and thoughts positively. They will not forget the ritual of setting up the Christmas tree

Bonding and Togetherness
Decorating as a family cultivates a sense of togetherness and strengthens family bonds. Working together towards a shared goal, discussing decoration ideas, and collaborating on various aspects of decoration builds a sense of unity, fostering positive relationships. Memories are created from doing such fun family activities. The more involved they are the better.

Joy and Positive Emotions
The process of decorating for Christmas brings joy and excitement. The anticipation of the holiday season, the colourful lights, and cheerful decorations contribute to a positive atmosphere that can uplift spirits, reduce stress, and evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. It's all a positive time to feel good.

A Sense of Tradition and Belonging
Engaging in Christmas decorating traditions instils a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than oneself. Participating in these rituals and customs, passed down through generations, gives children a sense of identity, continuity, and stability, contributing to their emotional well-being. Never underestimate the importance of routine.

Mindfulness and appreciation
Decorating with the spirit of Christmas encourages mindfulness and appreciation for the present moment. Children learn to appreciate the beauty in small things, focusing on the joy of the activity and the happiness it brings rather than the material aspects.

Christmas can mean many things to different people. Above all it is about coming together and celebrating in some form. It is recognised as a reflective time for families and it can have an amazing calming and mentally stabilising effect for children. It is way of putting closure on the year and bringing together in a warm, comforting way all the feelings, emotions, experiences, joys and maybe sorrows that have been experienced and shared over the year.

Merry Christmas to all families in all shapes and forms.

Be a little on the wild side and explore adventure with your child

Adventures and surprises in doing varied and different things with your child is life giving and very stimulating for broader learning. Don't underestimate that what you expose your children to can have an amazing impact on their intellectual and emotional growth. Consider the following ideas and examples of how you can make a difference to your child’s life by being open to many ideas.

1. Fosters Learning and Curiosity:

   Adventure and exploration stimulate a child's curiosity and love for learning, providing them with new knowledge and experiences.

   Reason: Children become more adventurous and interested in change as you give them exposure and broad opportunities.

   Example: Parents can take their child on educational trips to museums, zoos, or historical sites, encouraging them to ask questions and explore exhibits. Look at what is advertised around town and beyond.

2. Builds Resilience and Confidence:

   Reason: Facing new challenges and unfamiliar situations helps children build resilience and self-confidence as they navigate and conquer obstacles. It’s all about exposing them to new moments in their life.

   Example: Parents can enrol their child in a sports team, music lessons, or an art class, where they can develop skills and gain confidence in their abilities.

3. Encourages Independence:

   Reason: Adventures allow children to make decisions and problem-solve independently, fostering a sense of self-reliance. Such independence builds emotional maturity and personal confidence. We want our children to feel that they can take control

   Example: Parents can let their child plan a family day trip, where they research and choose the destination, create an itinerary, and lead the way.

4. Creates Lasting Memories:

   Reason: Exploring new places and trying new activities can result in cherished family memories that bring joy for years to come. The more positive happy memories you have the greater longer term happy thoughts children have of growing up

   Example: Parents can plan a family camping trip, complete with storytelling around the campfire and stargazing, creating memorable experiences.

5. Fosters Cultural Awareness:

   Reason: Exposure to different cultures and traditions through travel can broaden a child's perspective and promote cultural understanding. In our global world today we need tolerance and understanding. The more your child is exposed to difference, the better informed that are about life.

   Example: Parents can take their child on international trips or visit cultural festivals and events in their own community to embrace diversity. Check out some of the documentaries on other cultures and watch the program together.

6. Promotes a Sense of Wonder:

   Reason: Adventure encourages children to see the world with wonder and excitement, fostering a lifelong appreciation for the beauty of the world. Surprise them by taking them to places that step away from comfort zones. Let them experience nature through touching, feeling, smelling and experiencing.

   Example: Parents can take their child on nature hikes or expeditions, where they can discover the wonders of the natural world, such as unique plants, animals, and landscapes.

   Be a parent who is open to difference and  welcome ideas that are unique. Not everyone has to be an Indiana Jones but within your scope as a family  look to what is possible and will stretch their imagination. You will enjoy this journey of discovery yourself.

Go a little on the wild side, be adventurous with your child.

 -Gail J Smith

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

Managing anger in children

There are many ways we can respond to anger. Consider the following ideas to help with managing anger.

Teach Your Child Acceptable Responses to Anger

• They can simply walk away from the person making them angry.

• Find a spot to cool off.

• Think about positive thoughts that take you away form the anger

• Tell yourself to keep calm.

Teaching How to Handle Big Feelings

• Kids need to learn how to handle their big feelings like anger. It helps them deal with tough situations better. Talk about what is a big feeling.

• Teach simple breathing exercises or offer a cosy spot when they're upset. Show them it's okay to talk about feelings and find ways to let out anger without hurting anyone, like drawing or going for a run.

• Solving problems and talking nicely

• Learning to manage anger teaches children how to fix problems without fighting and how to talk nicely.

• Practise talking about what's bothering them without yelling. Show how to listen when someone else is upset and find ways to fix things together. Always create  a calm, warm atmosphere when talking about anxious matters.

Making Friends and Being Happy

•  Handling anger nicely helps kids make good friends and be happy in school and at home.

•  Role-play situations where they can practise talking without getting mad. Encourage being kind and understanding to others to build strong friendships.

 Feeling Calm and Relaxed

•  Managing anger helps kids feel calm and relaxed instead of stressed or upset all the time.

•  Try relaxation activities like deep breaths or listening to calming music. Doing fun activities or games that they enjoy also helps release stress. A basketball ring outside in the yard is a great stress buster

Getting Stronger and Smarter

• Learning to handle anger makes kids strong and smart. It helps them learn from mistakes and not give up. With anger under control they are more socially engaging with everyone.

•  Encourage them to think positively when things go wrong. Show how trying different ways to solve a problem can make them better at handling tough situations.

We all have a right to feel angry. It is a natural response when we are disappointed, hurt etc. Teaching our children how to deal with anger in a positive way develops their emotional intelligence and gives them great strategies to operate in many and varied life situations. A person’s well being is really enhanced if they have great skills in managing anger.

‘Teaching your child how their behaviour effects others raises their sensitivities and invites them to rethink their anger.’

 - Gail J Smith

Teaching good manners is a great life skill

If we want our children to be well accepted and socially adapt then teaching and modelling good manners gives them a great advantage in life. Manners are a good way for you to show gratitude, display respect and demonstrate kindness. Well mannered children are highly sort after for leadership, advanced learning opportunities, senior roles etc.

Here are five key reasons outlining the benefits:

Social Skills and Relationships

Good manners help children interact positively with others, building strong relationships. When a child has good manners they are welcomed into groups. Other children feel comfortable around them and not threatened by unpredictable behaviour. Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.

Respect and Empathy

Manners teach children to be respectful and empathetic towards others' feelings and perspectives. A well mannered child is very conscious about how to address people and how to engage with someone in difficult circumstances. Their powers of observation in dealing with people is more acute

 Confidence and Self-Esteem

Practising good manners boosts children's confidence and self-esteem in social situations. They feel more sure about themselves knowing that how they communicate often sets the scene for conversation.

Success in School and Future Career

Having good manners positively influences academic success and future career prospects. People are attracted to well mannered people and are comfortable in engaging with them.

Positive Reputation and Liability

Children with good manners are often well-liked and respected by peers and adults. There is nothing more pleasant than being around people that make you feel comfortable.

A child who has acquired the good habit of using manners is in a class of people who are self assured, understand boundaries and who will intuitively use their language to keep the quality of conversation at a high level.

‘ Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.’ Clarence Thomas

A happy child makes us all feel the joy of youth.

Here are five needs that a child once fulfilled will be content

1. Love and Support
   A happy child needs love, care, and unwavering support from family and caregivers.

2. Opportunities for Play and Exploration
   Children thrive when they have ample opportunities for play and exploration in a safe and stimulating environment.

3. Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
   Encouraging words, praise, and positive reinforcement contribute to a child's happiness and confidence.

4. Healthy Relationships and Connection
   Building healthy relationships and fostering strong connections with family and friends are crucial for a child's happiness.

5. Sense of Security and Stability
   A stable and secure environment provides the foundation for a child's happiness and well-being.

‘Never underestimate that your attention, respect, confidence and security given to your child are building a very happy person.’

Gail J Smith

Helping your child develop strong emotional intelligence

We all talk about the avenues to build intellectual intelligence. We also need to recognise that the growth of emotional intelligence is critical for a person to cope well in society and to feel inclusive. Strong emotional intelligence helps us regulate our emotions and view the world in a broader way. Our well-being is best enhanced by developing high levels of emotional intelligence.

There are various simple ways we can help build emotional intelligence in our children. Here are some suggestions:

1. Talk About Feelings:

   Ask your child how they're feeling and why. Encourage them to express their emotions, like happiness, sadness, or anger. Use those words in conversations about how they are feeling. Talking about feelings is seen as a positive sign of building and understanding well-being. Let them see that you have feelings and can manage those feelings. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

2. Listen Actively:

   When your child talks about their feelings, listen carefully without interrupting. Show that you understand and care about what they're saying. Place no judgement on their feelings or emotional state. They will regulate themselves better if you are calm and steady.

3. Teach Problem-Solving:

   Help your child find solutions when they face problems or conflicts. Ask questions like, "What can we do to make this better?" Be prepared to use negotiation with your child.

4. Manage Your Own Emotions:

   Show your child how you handle your own feelings. If you're upset, explain why and how you're trying to feel better. Be authentic when you talk about your feelings and talk about the strategies you will employ to help you through the problem.

5. Empathy and Understanding:

   Teach your child to think about how others might feel. When they see someone sad, ask, "How do you think they're feeling?" Demonstrate empathy in your own life and apply it to the family. If a child sees you empathetic they learn it quickly. Your modelling is so important here.

6. Use Books and Stories:

   Read books or tell stories that explore emotions and situations. Discuss the characters' feelings and ask your child how they would react. Watch movies together that highlight empathy and sympathy. Talk about them as a family

In simple terms, parents can help their children develop emotional intelligence by talking about feelings, listening, problem-solving, setting a good example with their own emotions, teaching empathy, and using stories to explore emotions together. Each day there will be occasions where you can highlight in little ways the importance of being emotionally switched on to life matters.

Be a parent who embraces healthy emotions and recognises the occasions where you can be helpful in strengthening emotional intelligence.

‘One can be the master of what one does, but never of what one feels.”

                                                                            -Gustav Flaubert