The difference values make when dealing with your child
Navigating values and conflicts with your child? Here are some insightful tips to help you understand and manage those moments of clash. Parenting is a journey of growth and understanding, and being open to dialogue can strengthen your bond with your child.
We all have values. We have them in many areas and they are often forged from an early age. Sometimes they are clearly defined. Sometimes they are subtle and we don't know we have them until we are tested with some issue. Our children learn values from us and as they grow they will challenge us in some of those values and that of course can cause conflict. We can call this value collisions.
The following thoughts are to help you reflect on the great influence that values have in relationships and to challenge you about how to deal with values that are different from yours.
Reflect on your values and think about how over the years you have modified and changed some values. Your child is growing and will want to test some of those values. Are you ready to be tolerant and understand that it is acceptable for them to challenge some of your values. Consider how you challenged your parents.
When you are accepting of a child's behaviour, all is well. When they challenge you, we need to think about that challenge and question what is the driver behind it all.
Sometimes you can have a value difference with your child and you can accept it. For example you may not like the way your child dresses, but you can live with it. These acceptable differences can be widened if you are open to talking to your child about what troubles you.
When you’re having trouble accepting your child’s choices ask yourself, what is my value here? Where did it come from and why do I want to keep it? If you value its importance, then you will need to clearly point this out to your child and work through a process of discussing why it is important and how together you can work through their concerns. This is all about negotiation.
Remember more discussion often leads to a closer agreement. By talking through the issue you may learn some new information which may influence your thoughts on the matter.
Sometimes through more discussion you become stronger in your position as conversation may clarify your thoughts.
Always try to have an open mind. In discussion with your child can you reconsider your values and accept some differences?
Sometimes people think that values are concrete. You can change your position on issues. This is all about growth and seeing the bigger picture.
Finally your child is learning about life from so many varied sources. They also have the influences of social media. It is a complex world with many varied and different values and opinions spinning around them. Your stable influence is so important. Your values will be taken more seriously by your child, if you demonstrate a capacity to listen to their opinions and on occasion find some compromise to allow them to experiment with different ideas. Your tolerance will pay off in the end.
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Beware the roadblocks to good communication with your child
Have you ever noticed that sometimes our kids seem to tune us out or react in unexpected ways? It might be because we unintentionally create barriers to good communication with them. Discover with Gail Smith some common roadblocks we might unknowingly set up, thinking we're doing what's best for them.
Sometimes we wonder why our children are not listening or are reacting in unacceptable ways to what we have to say and do. Often it's as simple as the fact that we set up roadblocks to good communications with them. We often do this incidentally without any awareness that we are setting up barriers to talking with them without irritation and understanding. Consider below some of the barriers that we can set up often innocently and thinking we are operating in their best interest.
Take care not to be just giving out orders. After a while a child tunes out and the orders fall on deaf ears.
Sometimes we can get so tired that we just give warnings to stop poor behaviour as quickly as possible. If you keep swinging on the gate you will fall over on the concrete and hurt yourself.
As parents we know we have the responsibility of caring but sometimes we think we need to give the solutions to all their problems. How often do you ask others to tell you how to solve your problems.
Be careful with the use of language. When you use word like “stupid' and 'dumb” the child will only here that word and will think that you believe they are dumb. Language is a powerful tool or it can become a weapon. Take care with how you use it.
Try not to probe all the time. When you ask too many questions you will eventually get no response.
Try not to over analyze a child's behaviour. Often it is as simple as a child making a mistake. Move on quickly making it less complicated.
Sometimes we can use sarcasm to ward off a concern they have. Take care not to use adult wit to control conversations with a child. They know that it is a put down.
When we are busy we can change the subject very quickly. Always listen to your child and if busy say that you will talk about their concern later when you have more time. Remember that following up is important.
When we use roadblocks we can easily recognize how a child will shut down and lose an interest in talking to you. We are not about solving our child's problems. We are all about responsible parenting and not being a therapist. We slowly and steadily develop their independent thinking skills. We are an adviser and a wise model. We listen with care and we respect their right to have an opinion.
“A child feels heard when they hear no roadblocks limiting their conversations.”
A Few Tips on keeping a Calm Household
Navigating the hustle and bustle of family life can sometimes leave us feeling worn out and frazzled. Staying calm during the busy week can be hard. Here are some simple tips from Gail Smith to help reduce tension at home with your child.
We all know that busy families make for busy lives which of course leads to tiredness and tension from time to time. It is natural that being calm and steady throughout the busy week can almost become impossible. Below are a few simple tips on reducing weekly domestic tension with your child.
Try to be less a perfectionist. This can make you very unsettled if in a busy week your ideal plan does not go well. Remember you are dealing with children and their lives are messy and changing frequently. Being more flexible and less demanding of expectations on your part will make life easier.
Try to keep to routines and have schedules clearly visible for all to see. A child feels more secure when they know predicable patterns across the week occur. They are more unsettled when change occurs.
Plenty of sleep for everyone in the house is important. You need it as much as your child. Find some personal time in the day, just a few moments that you can call you own. How about that coffee in a cafe for five minutes?
On the weekend check in with your child for the week ahead. Talk about expectations you have and also discuss those days where your child will need to be contributing more. Getting them involved in planning the week ahead is vital for success.
When your child talks to you remember to be an effective listener. This may mean that you say, “I can't talk right now but after school we will sit down and I can listen to what you have to say.” Follow through with this as your child will not forget.
Use bedtime as a time to have more intimate chats with your child. They love to feel special and to know that you are really available.
With younger children talk at a slower pace if you are giving instructions. They will listen and respond better if they understand what you want from them.
During the day keep regular affirmations going. This gives your child reassurance that all is well. 'I love the way you pack your lunch for school. It makes a difference in getting to school on time.'
When having a stressed moment stop and take a deep breath before your respond to your child. It can make such a difference with your response which will carry less frustration to your child.
Try to keep down the clutter in the house. A very cluttered and disorganized environment makes for less calm children.
At the end of a week assess with your child how it all went. Were their positive moments and did you both get the best from the way it was organized? Being reflective may make for a better week next time.
All children work towards independence. From an early age they seek to do things on their own. This actually makes them happier. Consider whether you can give your child more responsibility for themselves. They will love the independence. Don't worry too much when it all goes poorly. Mistakes happen. That is how we all learn.
Be well aware of what is happening at school. There is nothing more frustrating than catching up with news when it is all too late. Read notices, plan ahead for dress up days. Etc. You will enjoy your child's school much more by being engaged.
Homework can be a stressful time for the household. Work out the best time for your child to do homework and have it set up in a comfortable, light filled space. You will be more relaxed knowing that your child is in an optimum environment for homework to be done. Also remember that teachers set homework and that if a child is struggling refer it back to the teacher.
Finally we live in an ever changing world with our child. There are always reasons why change must occur or plans altered due to illness, fatigue etc. Expect the unexpected but don't place the burden on yourself when everything does not go to plan. Flexibility and creativity will get you through those tricky moments.
“A parent who understands the changing nature of family, not only survives but thrives.”
Unlocking Creativity: Fun and Imaginative Activities for Parents to Inspire Their Children
Discover the incredible power you have as a parent to spark your child's imagination and creativity! Join Gail Smith, as she uncovers simple yet effective ways to inspire creativity right in your own home. You'll be amazed at what you can create together!
Be creative with your child. It is a wonderful way to engage and to do things together that are memorable and intellectually stimulating.
Consider:
Embark on storytelling adventures with your child. This could involve creating collaborative stories where each family member adds a sentence or taking turns inventing characters and plot twists. This is great for language development as well.
Provide ideas for artistic exploration, such as setting up a "creation station" with various art supplies and letting your child experiment with different mediums and techniques. It doesn’t need to be tidied up regularly.
Share simple and safe science experiments that you can do with your child at home. From creating homemade volcanoes to experimenting with colour-changing potions, these hands-on activities will spark curiosity and encourage scientific exploration.
As a family go on outdoor nature hunts, where your child can use their senses to explore the natural world around them. Consider creating scavenger hunt lists or nature bingo cards to guide their exploration and encourage observation skills. Give them a magnifying glass to explore what’s in the grass. It is great fun.
There are so many benefits of dramatic play in fostering creativity and imagination. As the parent you can set up themed dress-up corners or provide props and costumes for children to act out their own stories, plays, or adventures.
Consider musical exploration by exposing your child to a variety of musical genres and instruments. From creating homemade instruments to having dance parties, there are endless opportunities for musical discovery and expression.
Share kid-friendly cooking and baking recipes that parents can make with their children. Cooking together not only teaches valuable life skills but also encourages creativity and experimentation in the kitchen. Creating mess can be a healthy thing!
Consider building and construction challenges using materials like LEGO, blocks, or recycled materials. You can challenge your child to build tall towers, intricate structures, or imaginative worlds, fostering spatial reasoning and problem-solving skills. Find a safe and suitable space in the house to
spread out with all the blocks.
As the parent, offer tips for creating imaginative play spaces within the home, such as building forts, creating sensory bins, or transforming cardboard boxes into playhouses. These dedicated spaces provide your child with opportunities for open-ended play and imaginative exploration.
Cultivate a love for reading and storytelling by sharing a variety of books and stories with your child. Engage your child in discussions about characters, settings, and plot lines, inspiring their imagination and creativity. Try dramatizing sections of the book.
It is amazing how you the parent can inspire your child to be imaginative and creative. Look within your own home to find ways and means to be creative. You do not need to look far.
“A creative, imaginative child has an insatiable appetite for learning.”
Nurturing a Growth Mindset in Your Child
How do you encourage positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever? Dive into the world of positivity and belief in your child's potential with Gail Smith, as she unveils the secrets to fostering a growth mindset in your child.
In simple terms this is all about encouraging positivity and a belief in your child’s ability to be an achiever.
Consider the following:
Explain to your child the concept of a growth mindset versing a fixed mindset, highlighting the importance of believing in one's ability to improve through effort and practice.
As a parent celebrate when your child tackles a difficult task or shows resilience in the face of challenges. Let them see that effort is rewarding.
As the parent, help your child re frame statements like "I can't do this" to "I can't do this yet," emphasizing the idea of growth and progress over time. It’s about never say never.
As the parent model a growth mindset in your own life. Share stories of your own challenges and successes, demonstrating perseverance and a positive attitude towards learning.
Parents can provide constructive feedback to their child that focuses on effort, progress, and specific actions rather than fixed traits or abilities. Use phrases like, "I noticed you worked really hard on that" or "What strategies did you try?"
Set realistic, achievable goals that align with your child’s interests and abilities. Involve your child in the goal-setting process and celebrate milestones along the way. All goals should be reasonable.
Provide a supportive home environment that encourages exploration, curiosity, and a love for learning. This could include having a designated study space, providing access to educational resources, and engaging in activities that foster creativity and critical thinking.
Re frame mistakes as valuable learning opportunities rather than failures. Discuss strategies for helping your child learn from their mistakes, such as problem-solving, reflection, and seeking help when needed. Making mistakes is a human process.
Celebrate your child's growth and progress, no matter how small. This could involve creating a growth mindset journal where children document their achievements and areas of improvement or holding a "growth mindset celebration" to recognize efforts.
Offer consistent support, encouragement, and reassurance to your child as they navigate challenges and strive for growth. Not everything will be perfect but their efforts are given much encouragement.
As your child grows they need to grow with a positive mindset where there is much personal belief and a sense that all is possible.
“Courage to continue matters more than success or failure”
What brings joy to you and your child?
The more we share joy with our children, the deeper and richer connection we make with them. Sharing joy triggers a host of significant physiological and psychological changes that improve our physical and mental health. Gail Smith shares some examples of what brings joy to your child.
It doesn’t take much for a child to feel joy. We can always help them feel that joy by our own actions. The more we share that joy the deeper and richer connection we make with our child. It also makes us very happy. It triggers a host of significant physiological and psychological changes that improves our physical and mental health.
Here are some examples of what brings joy to your child. Embrace it!
Seeing Your Child Laugh and Play Is Pure Joy
Watching your child burst into giggles while playing with their favourite toy or sharing a fun moment with friends at the park. Laugh with them. Feel the muscles move in your chest and enjoy the moment together.
Their Smile Brightens Up Your Day
When your child greets you with a big, toothy grin after school, or when they proudly show you a drawing they made. Notice how enlivening is their smile and how it makes you feel so much better.
Hearing Their Stories and Ideas Fills Your Heart with Joy
When your child excitedly tells you about their day at school, recounts a funny story, or shares their imaginative ideas for a new adventure.
Listen to what they have to say. There is so much joy in the way they express themselves and how they see the world.
Celebrating Milestones and Achievements Is a Source of Happiness
Witnessing your child take their first steps, reading their first book, or seeing them receive a certificate for a school accomplishment. With each milestone you know that your child is well on the way to being an independent individual. That should bring a smile to your face.
Quality Time Together Creates Special Memories and Joy
Enjoying a family game night, going on a nature hike, or having a cosy movie night complete with popcorn and snuggles. Find those special moments as a family. They don’t have to be large or complex. Make them spontaneous occasions where you can be together without any outside pressure. Build it into your week. Make it a family ritual that you get together and have some form of quality time.
Supporting Their Passions and Interests Brings Joy to Both of You
Encouraging your child's love for art by setting up a mini art studio at home or helping them explore their interest in science with exciting experiments.
Indulging your child’s passions will bring extreme pleasure and joy to your child. They will learn so much as they are keen to participate. Join them and learn from their excitement and joy. Its amazing how passions can become a life habit.
Our world is so much richer and calmer when there is a strong presence of joy in the world. Children are natural ‘joists’. They find joy in the simplest and least complicated aspects of life.
If you decide to join them you will lighten your world and build happy bridges with your child.
‘Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls”
- Mother Theresa
Let’s think about how good holidays are with our families
Embark on a journey with Gail Smith to uncover the joys and advantages of family holidays! Discover how these precious moments can strengthen family ties and create cherished memories that last a lifetime.
We are at the tail end of school term holidays and yes we are busy thinking and doing things that get us ready for the new year in the family schedule, not the least of which is school matters. Here I am reminding everyone to savour and still enjoy what is left of the holiday. They are such a gift for a family enabling them to connect in a deeper and special way. It is important to reflect on the good they have done for everyone in the family.
Consider the following thoughts that feed into our belief of the value of family holidays
A surprise research finding suggests that blood pressure is reduced when you take that well earnt rest whether it be for a weekend or longer. Also research suggests that heart disease is reduced and depression less likely when vacations are taken. So overall it is about improving your mental and physical health and this flows onto your children.
• Being on holidays with your child gives you the chance to build life long memories which are so important to the child. Happy memories can be life long.
• You break from the normal routine and this sets up lots of opportunities to connect in different ways. Sometimes these can be spontaneous and give you a chance to be seen in a completely different light by your children. Suddenly children may discover how funny their father is on holidays.
• Life at home comes with responsibilities, duties and order. Holidays can be worry free and less stress on completing tasks and doing jobs. It is about finding your family joy.
• Holidays have built in quantity times with your children. How often during the year do you find longer and more available space to fit in conversations and fun with your children?
• On holidays especially when the vacation is away from the home you get the opportunity to show and teach your child about nature and life issues. This could be teaching them about sea shells through to environmental matters such as why grass is green. This is a special time to step outside the norm as a parent and to be a real educator of culture and life.
• By having a regular family holiday you are building a holiday tradition. Children remember well how you as a family operate in such a situation. Photos can become long term cherished memories. For example, in a caravan you may share meals with other families regularly. With a beach holiday you may have a tradition of swimming together, burying each other in sand etc. All rich family traditions of being joyful together. It is all about celebrating the various values that bring us together. We also let go of feeling we must be in control and accountable.
• We all need stress busters from the busy years we have. We need an unwind time and a time for renewal. Family holidays can achieve so much in reducing stress.
You learn more about your children and they learn more about you through relaxed family holidays Often your children see a new you and enjoy what they see. Also you discover more about your child when you see them happily playing and engaged in more relaxed activities. In this space there is no judgement and lots of enjoyment.
Finally you can develop stronger and happier family bonds on holidays. You actually learn how to operate more effectively as a family unit. Such things as cooperation, better interaction and spontaneous joy come from family vacation.
So, I am wondering, have you planned your next trip?
‘The greatest legacy we can leave our children is happy memories.’
-Og Mandino
A few tips to keep the household happy
We all want a happy and contented home, but we also know how quickly a peaceful home can turn into a tense one. Gail Smith has some practical tips that could help keep your household a happy and safe environment for your children.
We all like a happy contented house and we are all aware that it doesn’t take much to turn the balance from a happy household to a cranky one in a short time.
Here are a few practical tips that may have the potential to ease household tension.
Consider:
keep the house uncluttered as much as possible. Cluttered houses make as all cranky as we feel lost in the maze of items scattered around the house. The areas where the children use the most could be an easy space in which to walk around.
Try not to over talk your child when you are busy and expect them to do jobs. The question is, will they listen to you and how often do you need to repeat yourself?
Be proactive. If you can see trouble ahead can you ward it off or change some dynamic to lessen the impact.
Watch how tired you are getting. Dealing with the bigger issues when you are tired can be disastrous and put things out of perspective.
Each day think about keeping the happy levels up with children. A house that seems happy is good for mental health. A child feels secure when family around them are in a positive mood.
At night in preparing children for bed think about dulling the lights a half hour before bedtime. The atmosphere you create calms everyone down and is great preparation for going to bed.
Do you play music around the house? You can get your child involved in choosing some of this music. Listening to beautiful sounds is such a calming agent for everyone.
Having plenty of healthy snacks around the house, fruit bowls and healthy snack food that a child can access in the fridge presents a house that is warm and inviting through nurturing food.
Allow plenty of light in your house. Happy moods and positivity come from light infused environments. Make your home warm and inviting.
Set up some routines around the house. This could involve setting tables, pulling down blinds, putting dishes away in their correct place etc. Your child will be comforted by routine and familiarity. They need to know how well they are to live in their house.
Display your child’s work boldly and confidently perhaps on the fridge or a notice board. Let them see that in this house everyone is proud of the children’s efforts.
Consider your backyard. Is it set up to give your child space to play. Talk to your child about what they would like to see in their backyard.
These simple suggestions are about making life at home easier to manage as a family. We know that the less tension that we encounter in a home setting, the happier the environment which for our children is to be a safe haven.
“A home that is warm and inviting that allows a child to breathe with ease is happy space for any child.”
Helping your child improve in spelling
Mastering spelling can be tricky for some kids, but with your early support, they'll become spelling superstars, communicating with confidence in their writing. Let Gail Smith guide you with some awesome tips to boost your child's spelling skills.
Spelling can be a tricky skill to develop for some children. The sooner you support their learning in this area, the greater chance they have of becoming effective spellers and can communicate well with others in their writing.
Here are some helpful suggestions:
Try having fun with spelling bees at home. Make it a game. Consider incorporating spelling activities into their daily routine.
Many news agencies sell phonic charts which are handy to have at home. From time to time you can refer to them to help your child retain some basic phonetics. Phonics teaches spelling patterns and rules.
Engage multiple senses in spelling practice. For example, with younger children have your child write words in sand or shaving cream to feel the shapes of the letters, or use magnetic letters to spell words on the fridge. Use art and craft activities to make up words perhaps in felt, paint etc.
Teach your child to break down longer words into smaller, more manageable chunks. This can help them understand the structure of words and make spelling them easier.
Play word games together that reinforce spelling skills, such as Scrabble, Boggle, or word search puzzles. These games make spelling practice fun and interactive.
Encourage your child to read aloud regularly. Hearing words pronounced correctly can reinforce their spelling and help them recognize common spelling patterns.
Have your child keep a spelling journal where they write down words they find challenging. Encourage them to revisit these words regularly and practice spelling them correctly.
Offer praise and encouragement when your child makes progress in spelling. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, to boost their confidence and motivation.
Take advantage of spelling apps and online resources designed to help children practice spelling in a fun and engaging way. Many of these apps offer interactive games and activities tailored to different age levels.
Spelling can be challenging for some children, so be patient and supportive as they learn. Avoid criticizing mistakes and instead focus on providing constructive feedback and encouragement.
Try introducing one new word each week. This can be the spelling challenge and see how your child can learn that tricky word in a week.
Spelling is linked to speech, writing, and reading. The more you encourage your child to use language, the more confident they become in having a go with tricky words. Repetition has a lot to do with improving spelling. The more you practice spelling words, the greater retention you have and the easier recall of that word over time.
“If we spell well we communicate well”
Encourage your child to write well
Writing is like giving your child a superpower—a way to express themselves, explore their thoughts, and tap into a world of creativity. It's not just about words on paper; it's about unlocking a whole new level of intellectual, physiological, and emotional growth. Dive into these exciting ideas by Gail Smith to cultivate your child's passion for writing, a skill that lies at the core of education!
Some children find it difficult to write. There are ways we can help them and of course, the best way to help is to write ourselves. There are many intellectual, physiological and emotional benefits to writing. It goes hand in glove with reading and cannot be seen as the poor cousin. It is believed that writing has wonderful therapeutic benefits and gives a child a voice. Words disappear into the ether, but written words can remain forever.
Here are some ideas to help your child build up an interest in writing which is very much at the heart of education.
Designate a special area in your home where your child can write comfortably. It could be a cozy corner with a desk or even just a designated cushion with a lap desk. Let them see that writing is encouraged in your home. Have plenty of writing materials hanging around.
Make sure your child has access to various writing materials such as pencils, pens, markers, crayons, and different types of paper. Let them experiment with different tools. For young children chalk on the ground is great fun.
Establish a regular time each day for writing. It could be before bedtime, after school, or during a quiet period on weekends. Consistency is key to forming good writing habits.
Encourage your child to keep a journal where they can write about their thoughts, feelings, daily experiences, or even stories they make up. Journaling can be a great way for children to express themselves freely. Perhaps giving your child a diary could be a great gift and introduction to writing.
Praise your child's writing efforts and celebrate their achievements, whether it's completing a story, writing neatly, or coming up with creative ideas. Display their work proudly or share it with family and friends.
Let your child see you writing. Whether it's making a grocery list, writing emails, or working on a personal project, show them that writing is a valuable skill used in everyday life.
Reading and writing go hand in hand. Encourage your child to read regularly and discuss the stories or information they encounter. Reading can inspire writing and improve vocabulary and language skills.
Present your child with fun writing challenges, such as writing a poem, creating a comic strip, or crafting a short story with a specific theme or word count. Joining in with these activities will make all the difference to your child.
Help your child understand the importance of writing by showing them how words can inform, entertain, persuade, and connect people. Encourage them to use their writing to express themselves and make a positive impact. Read sections of the newspaper to them that have an impact.
Enjoy reading what they have written. Together you can talk about the content and purpose of writing. Let them read aloud some of your writing as well.
Try suggesting to your child when they want to explain something that you would prefer they write it down for you to read. Sometimes an upset child can write down their feelings easier than talking about them.
Writing is a concrete statement. It can be kept and treasured. Promote your child’s writing by displaying it on fridges etc.
‘Once your child writes down their thoughts, they are expressing to the world a deeper statement about themselves.’ - Gail J Smith
Build self confidence in your child. You can make a big difference.
Empowering your child with self-confidence is like giving them the keys to steer their own life's journey. Dive into Gail Smith’s tips for fun and effective ways to nurture and boost your child’s belief in themselves.
Never underestimate the difference you can make for your child’s self confidence. Your child trusts your judgement and above all believes in you as their mentor and life support. They take what you say very seriously and need your reassurance. Here are some examples of how to keep up the important role of boosting their self confidence.
Encourage your child to celebrate their achievements, no matter how small. Whether it's mastering a new skill, completing a task independently, or showing kindness to others, take the time to celebrate their successes.
Provide specific and genuine praise for your child's efforts and accomplishments. Instead of just saying "good job," highlight what they did well and why it matters. They need to understand why they are receiving the praise, so label it.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk by affirming their strengths and abilities. Tell them how you like to hear them talk about their achievements out loud.
Help your child set realistic goals that they can work towards. Break larger goals into smaller steps and celebrate each milestone. This helps build a sense of accomplishment and confidence. Also they need to receive regular reassurance especially younger children.
Encourage your child to take healthy risks and step out of their comfort zone. Whether it's trying a new activity, speaking up in class, or making new friends. Teach them that making mistakes is part of life.
Give your child opportunities to make decisions and choices independently. Whether it's choosing what to wear, what to eat for snack, or what game to play, they will be more personally satisfied and more engaged in activities etc. if they take responsibility.
Teach your child resilience by helping them bounce back from setbacks and failures. Encourage them to learn from mistakes, problem-solve, and persevere in the face of challenges. Talk about how you do this in your life.
Be a positive role model for self-confidence by demonstrating confidence in yourself. Show your child how to handle challenges and how to embrace your strengths and weaknesses. Be authentic when you talk about yourself and all your foibles.
Above all, provide your child with unconditional love, acceptance, and support. Let them know that you believe in them, no matter what, and that you are always there to help them succeed.
You love them for who they are and in all circumstances.
Building self confidence in your child is all about teaching them that they can confidently be in charge of their own lives as time progresses. Here we are building emotional intelligence.
“Confident, happy children feel good about themselves and achieve well. It’s natural.”
Some simple ideas to slow down tension at home
Managing a bustling household often leads to tension, with everyone juggling tasks and schedules. To avoid potential issues, try these simple tips for a more harmonious home. Remember, small changes can make a big difference, so be kind to yourself as you navigate the challenges of parenting.
Busy home life can mean a build up of tension as everyone rushes around to complete jobs, homework, work schedules, sport practice etc. There is no shortage of activities that need to be done and as tension builds we can find ourselves angry and behaving in ways that we regret later.
Here are some simple suggestions to ward off problems that can arise from running a busy household where tension can easily build.
When you find yourself angry at some behaviour, take time out. It may only be a few minutes but it will slow down heightened feelings of anger and give you a chance to respond in a calmer way.
Be proactive. If you see some potential ares in which trouble can be brewing try to change patterns. For example, if siblings are fighting can you separate them to have time apart.
If you find yourself very tired, perhaps lighten your load and don’t expect as much of yourself on that day. Fatigue is a great stimulant for losing patience quickly.
When solving problems with your child choose language that is simple and uncomplicated. When a child is stressed they will not always hear everything you say, so keep it simple and to the point.
Avoid triggers that will set you off in an angry state. Also consider the triggers that set off your child. Are there some situations that can be avoided. Prevention is better that cure.
Practice breathing exercises. The more you learn to be calm and breathe well when a difficult situation presents itself, the better you will mange the situation.
Sometimes you can let things go! Consider, does everything have to be solved. Decide which is best, to be happy or to be right all the time.
Sometimes it is worthwhile to check in on why you are upset. Is it necessary? Is it really an issue for you?
Think about how damaging it is to the family to be angry and upset. Think about its importance to be resolved.
Remember the big picture. In the schema of life do you need to be angry over so many things. Consider that being a good enough parent is what is adequate. After all your journey with your child will be over many years. What can you let go that will make your life easier?
We do not live in a perfect world. Families can be a messy business and we have many pressures on us as parents to always make the best decisions for our children. Take little steps and be gentle on yourself as a parent. Allow your human side to be evident to all and find a peaceful style of working with your children.
“Children do not need us to shape them. They need us to respond to who they are.”
Keep your child active and engaged in life through outdoor activities
Getting kids active can be a challenge, especially with so many distractions like social media and video games. Gail Smith has some great tips to get your child excited about outdoor adventures and staying active.
Keeping our children active teaches them to enjoy the great outdoors and to appreciate how their body can be a wonderful source of physical activity and mental wellness. Children need balance and we know that there is much opposition with social media activities and sedentary computer games etc.
Here are some suggestions on how to engage your child in being more active and interested in the great outdoors:
Transform your backyard into a fun and inviting space for outdoor play. Set up a sandbox, water table, swing set, or playhouse where children can engage in imaginative play. Enjoy activities with them in this fun and active space.
Organize regular family outings to local parks, nature trails, or beaches. Pack a picnic, bring along outdoor games or sports equipment, and spend quality time together exploring nature and enjoying outdoor activities. Ensure your child has suitable clothing for outdoors. Let them choose some suitable clothing.
Take nature walks or hikes with your children to explore the natural world around them. Encourage them to observe plants, trees, insects, and animals, and ask questions to spark curiosity and learning. Collect bugs and let them have insect displays, nature trail maps etc. all visible around the house to talk about as a family.
Take advantage of seasonal outdoor activities throughout the year. Teach the children the beauty of the four seasons and refer often to how the seasons offer different outdoor activities.
Involve children in outdoor chores and make them enjoyable by turning them into games or challenges. For example, turn gardening into a treasure hunt for worms or challenge them to see who can rake the biggest pile of leaves.
Provide opportunities for active play outdoors, such as riding bikes, flying kites, playing tag, or kicking a ball around. Let children choose activities that interest them. Plan outdoor times such as ten minutes in between homework activities.
Be a positive role model by demonstrating your own enjoyment of outdoor activities. Join in the fun and show enthusiasm for spending time outdoors with your children them see how being active makes you happy.
Set reasonable limits on screen time and encourage children to spend more time outdoors instead. Offer incentives or rewards for choosing outdoor play over screen time, such as extra playtime at the park or a special outdoor adventure.
Invest in outdoor toys and equipment that make outdoor play more enjoyable and accessible such as balls, frisbees, jump ropes, scooters, or sidewalk chalk.
It is always a matter of balance. However, given the social media war we face with our children so keen to be active with friends and networks through social media, it is reasonable to put forward the model of outdoor life. Once they embrace the feeling of personal well being and wellness from outdoor experiences, they will keep up the habit and learn how to balance life experiences better. Your own interest and passion in this area helps immensely to build their enthusiasm.
“Getting and being physical outdoors takes the edge away from anxieties.”
Let’s find ways to help improve our children’s language skills
Did you know that the more time children spend in front of screens, the less they hear and practice language? This can impact their speaking, listening, writing, and comprehension skills. Explore these suggestions by Gill Smith to ensure your child gets plenty of exposure to develop good language skills.
Recent research published talks about the danger of children losing valuable literacy skills due to too much screen time. It is true that the more screen time a child is exposed to, the less language they hear and the less skilled they are in speaking, listening, writing and comprehending. A child needs to be exposed to language as often as possible. Their vocabulary should be growing daily and their understandings of conversations and their use of language should be a regular daily event. After all, our use of language is a deep reflection of ourselves. Here are some helpful ideas to get you thinking about ways to ensure that your child has regular exposure to good language.
Establish clear limits on the amount of screen time allowed each day, including time spent on devices, watching TV, and playing video games. Use tools like parental controls or screen time management apps to enforce limits and track usage.
Create designated screen-free zones and times in the home, such as during meals, family gatherings, and bedtime. Encourage conversation and interaction by keeping screens out of these areas and times. Make clear rules about when and where screen time is allowed.
Be a positive role model by demonstrating healthy screen habits yourself. Limit your own screen time, especially when interacting with your child. As a family focus on sports activities, games etc. that are a wonderful alternative to docile screen time. Be an active outdoor family where possible.
Provide alternative activities that promote language development and communication skills, such as reading together, playing board games, doing puzzles, or engaging in imaginative play. Encourage outdoor play and physical activities that stimulate language skills.
Make time for meaningful conversations with your child every day. Ask open-ended questions, listen actively, and respond with interest and enthusiasm. Try to talk less and let your child be a dominant talker from time to time.
Make reading a daily habit by incorporating story time into your child's routine. Choose a variety of age-appropriate books that capture their interest and stimulate their imagination. Encourage active participation by asking questions and discussing the story together.
Minimize background noise from TVs, radios, and electronic devices, as it can interfere with language development and comprehension. Create a quiet and calm environment that allows for focused listening and communication. The less noise and surround sound, the better.
Expose your child to a rich and varied language environment by incorporating vocabulary-building activities into everyday life. Use descriptive language, introduce new words, and encourage your child to use language creatively. How about introducing new words every few days. Celebrate when your child uses those words.
Be mindful of the content your child is exposed to on screens and ensure that it is age-appropriate and educational. Choose high-quality programming and apps that promote learning and language development. Be selective in this area.
Foster opportunities for social interaction and communication with peers, family members, and caregivers. Arrange play dates, join community activities, and participate in group settings where your child can practise social skills and language use. Let them rely on their language to connect to others.
Be a family where language is a major way of communicating used frequently and valued as a major source of communication. Let your child see and experience that through using good language skills they gain the attention of so many, are valued for their skills and recognized as having something worthwhile to say.
“The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.”
Parenting through uncertain times
In our fast-paced world, the internet and social media greatly influence how we see things. As a parent, navigating this can be tough. Check out Gail Smith's tips for creating a safe and supportive home environment for your child in this digital age.
We live in a fast moving world where internet and especially social media impact so much on how we see and interpret the world. I appreciate that for parents finding the right path to direct and support their child over their growing years comes with challenges.
The following thoughts may help to provide a domestic climate where a child feels safe and enabled in such an overstimulated world:
Communication is a vital key to supporting your children. Encourage open and honest communication with your children about what is happening. Provide age- appropriate information about the situation and answer their questions truthfully. Let them know that it's okay to feel scared or confused. Let them see how you are open to talking about all sorts of matters with no judgement.
Establishing and maintaining a consistent daily routine can provide children with a sense of stability and predictability during uncertain times. Routine and family rituals are comforting to a child who needs to know their boundaries and limitations.
Limit children's exposure to news coverage and social media discussions about the uncertain situation. Instead, provide updates and information in a calm and reassuring manner. Read newspapers with information that is appropriate to be read.
Validate your child's feelings and emotions regularly, acknowledging that it's normal to feel scared, anxious, or uncertain during challenging times. Encourage them to express their feelings through talking, drawing, or writing them. Let them see how you manage your emotions and deal with unsettling situations. Be authentic.
Help children focus on what they can control in the situation, such as practicing good hygiene, following safety guidelines, and engaging in activities that promote well-being. Empower them to take positive actions within their control. Talk about what is reasonable to be in their control.
If a child can learn to problem solve they become independent learners. Teach children problem-solving skills and encourage them to brainstorm solutions to the challenges they are facing. Sometimes breaking down problems into smaller parts makes solutions easier to manage.
Model self-care behaviours for your children by taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Let them see that you value personal care to nurture your self interests.
Help children stay connected with friends and loved ones through virtual means, such as video calls, online games etc. Social connections can provide comfort and support during uncertain times. Remember it takes a village to bring up a child.
Encourage resilience by highlighting examples of resilience in stories, movies, or real-life experiences. Help children recognize their own strengths and abilities to overcome challenges and bounce back from adversity. Affirm regularly their strengths when you notice them.
If you notice signs of significant distress, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a counsellor, therapist, or mental health professional who specializes in working with children. Such help is readily available to families.
Let’s be optimistic and positive with our children letting them see that with good care and proper directions today’s world can be understood and managed. As a parent negotiating your own way through today’s world will be a challenge. However, with a little bit of reflection and care you can make such a difference for your child.
“Whilst we live in uncertain times, let’s be certain we value effective parenting
to make the difference for our children.”
Supporting your child with homework and developing good study habits
Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings homework to complete. Discover with Gail Smith why supporting your children's efforts and valuing extended learning at home is crucial. Be a pillar of support for your child's educational journey!
Homework can be controversial in many teaching circles. However, if a child is given homework, it is important to support their efforts and let it be seen that extended learning from school is valued in your home and you will be a support.
Consider the following:
Set aside a designated time and space for homework each day to create a consistent routine. This helps children develop a sense of structure and responsibility. Find a comfortable space for your child in which to complete the homework.
Break down homework assignments into smaller, more manageable tasks. Encourage your child to focus on completing one task at a time. Sometimes they can be daunted by looking at the amount of work to do overnight or in a few days.
Do not labour over homework tasks that the child is finding too difficult. Stress that they can discuss it with the teacher on the next day. After all the teacher set the homework.
Create a quiet and organized study space free from distractions, such as television or electronic devices. Offer support and encouragement as needed, but encourage independence and problem-solving skills. Watch the time that the homework is completed. Doing homework when a child is tired or anxious
is doomed for failure.
Teach your child effective time management skills, such as prioritizing tasks, setting goals, and creating a homework schedule. Help them learn to plan their homework out well.
Encourage your child to take regular breaks during homework sessions to rest and recharge. Encourage physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep to support overall well-being. Create an enjoyable atmosphere around homework time.
Provide guidance and support when needed, but avoid completing assignments for your child. Encourage them to ask questions, seek clarification from teachers, and use available resources such as textbooks, websites, or tutoring services. Take care not to get in an argument about their completing homework when they are struggling with the activity. This is where you need teacher intervention.
Encourage a growth mindset by praising effort, persistence, and improvement rather than focusing solely on grades or outcomes. Let their homework time be a time for learning in an inquiring way but with no tension.
Celebrate your child's successes and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and motivation to continue working hard.
Stay informed about your child's progress and any challenges they may be facing with homework. Communicate regularly with teachers to address concerns and seek additional support or resources if needed. Talk to their teacher about your child’s capacity to do the homework.
Model good study habits and a positive attitude toward learning in your own behaviour. Let your child see you reading, learning, and problem-solving in your daily life. Perhaps you could sometimes have a quite study time while they are doing their homework
There are various professional opinions about the value of homework. Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings home work to complete. Let them see that learning is ongoing and not just between the school hours.
“Teach your child that learning happens all the time. Homework is merely one component of a very big picture.”
The value of being positive around your child
Your child learns so much from you, including how to see the world in a positive light. Discover why it's crucial to maintain a positive disposition around your child with insights from Gail Smith.
We live in a world where we are constantly addressing mental health as it is such an interfering and common part of our society. Your child learns so much from you and it is amazing how your disposition can help your child see the world in a positive light.
Consider the following:
When you portray yourself positively as a parent, your child learns a great deal. They like to copy you and see you in a very positive light.
If you exhibit a positive presence as a parent, your child absorbs significant learning. They will want to imitate it and they will see how much better the world appears from that perspective.
If you project positivity as a parent, your child picks up on important lessons. This is a great way of teaching optimism.
If you see the world as a happy place in which to live that will influence their world.
Being an optimistic around your child invites them to problem solve in an optimistic way rather than focusing on unsolvable problems
It is a matter of conditioning your child to being positive. It’s a safer place in which to live.
When your child adopts positivity it attracts people who enjoy life. Don’t forget to use laughter as part of your persona around your child. Laughter is a happy space in which to live.
By demonstrating a positive disposition your child will be less anxious to approach you over matters that trouble them.
A bright happy parents who savours life is a mindful person who can teach their child to see the world as a hopeful place. What better mental health lesson can you find?
“Keep your eyes on the sun and you will not see the shadows”
The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image
In today's world, our children can face many challenges when it comes to body image. It's important to help them develop a positive view of themselves. Gail Smith explains why this is so crucial and offers tips on how you can support your child in this process.
As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.
Consider the following suggestions:
Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and
behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about
how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very
comfortable in your skin.
Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-
acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather
than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about
yourself is so important.
Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of
nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and
getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise
self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body
beautiful image.
Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and
how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical
thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an
important message.
Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.
Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about
themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the
joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or
performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.
Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels
accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and
provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make
your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.
Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,
intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a
strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than
superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.
Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative
body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and
influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave
healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and
hygiene.
If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek
professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image
and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves
especially when they enter teenage years.
Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!
“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”
Build resilience in your child
Encourage your children to explore the world at their own pace, building resilience and happiness along the way. Read on to explore the strategies by Gail Smith, to help your child become more resilient!
As parents, from the very beginning, we see ourselves as the primary nurturer. We should also be seeing ourselves as the primary builder of resilience in our children. We want them to be strong, independent people, who can cope in life, without relying too heavily on us the parents. Sometimes, because we become cautious and anxious to ensure that our children are coping well, we forget about our role to strengthen their resilience and give them the skills they need to survive outside of the family cave.
Consider the following:
Teach children how to identify problems, brainstorm solutions and take action to address challenges.
Encourage them to think creatively and persistently seek solutions, even when faced with setbacks. Let them see that failure is part of life.
Help children develop a growth mindset by emphasizing the power of positive thinking and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth. Encourage them to focus on their strengths. See life as an opportunity and stay focused on solving problems not being overcome by them.
Create a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly and seeking support when needed. Offer empathy and encouragement. Let them see how possible it is for them to work through a successful process.
Equip children with effective coping skills to manage stress, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and relaxation techniques. Encourage them to develop healthy outlets for expressing emotions, such as writing in diaries, art, or physical activity.
Foster independence in children by encouraging them to take on age-appropriate
responsibilities. Allow them to experience natural consequences and learn from their mistakes in a supportive environment.
Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family members, friends, and other trusted adults who can serve as positive role models.. Your child needs all the positive help they can get.
Expose children to stories of resilience through books, movies, and real-life examples. Highlight individuals who have overcome adversity and achieved success . Talk about them and especially their qualities.
Focus on effort rather than outcomes and celebrate children's achievements, big and small. Praise their hard work, resilience, and perseverance. Celebrating the process not so much the results of the outcomes.
Create a sense of belonging within the family and community by involving children in meaningful activities, traditions, and rituals. There are many charitable organizations with which they can engage themselves.
Be a positive role model for resilience by demonstrating healthy coping strategies, and positive problem-solving skills. Show children that setbacks and failures are opportunities for growth and learning.
When you are around your child be an optimistic person. Let them see that life is a hopeful experience. Moody environments can breed anxiety.
Be prepared to nurture independence in your child as this will be a major hallmark of strength for your child. Let them slowly engage with the world by themselves as this will gradually build strong resilience leading to a happier individual.
“Encouraging independence and building resilience in your child is a life saver”
Teach mindfulness to your child
In our fast-paced world, it's great to teach our kids to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Check out Gail Smith’s suggestions on activities that help kids relax and appreciate the moment.
Teaching mindfulness is a powerful tool in overcoming the overstimulated world in which our children live. By offering slow and steady activities to your child where they recognize and sensitize to their environment can be nothing short of a helpful tool in coping with stress and the hectic world that children experience with such distractions as social media etc.
The following activities offer some relief from the busy world and teach your child to be sensitive to the moment.
Take a few moments each day to practise deep breathing exercises with your child. Encourage them to notice the sensation of their breath as it enters and leaves their body, helping them anchor themselves in the present moment. This could be done at times that are built into routine such as before meals, at bedtime, before school etc.
Engage in a mindful listening exercise with your child. Sit quietly together and listen carefully to various sounds in your environment, such as birds chirping or cars passing by. Discuss what you noticed afterwards, such as the different pitches or rhythms of the sounds. Great fun to do in the backyard, at parks, the beach etc.
Practise mindful body scans with your child. Lie down together in a comfortable position and guide them through a relaxation exercise, focusing on each part of the body from head to toe. Encourage them to notice any sensations or feelings without judgement.
Practise loving-kindness meditation with your child. Sit together in a comfortable position and guide them to silently repeat phrases of well-wishes for themselves and others, such as "May I be happy, may you be happy, may all beings be happy."
Create a mindful art project with your child, such as colouring mandalas or painting rocks. Focus on the process rather than the end result, encouraging open conversation and exploration of thoughts and feelings during the activity. Come back later and talk about what you created and what it meant to you.
Take a mindful nature walk with your child. Explore your surroundings together, noticing the colours, textures, and smells of the natural world around you. Encourage your child to engage their senses and appreciate the beauty of the outdoors. The local park can do the job as well.
Cooking can be a mindful experience as you mix food together and reflect on the texture and feel of the ingredients as they morph into a new food. Also follow up with a mindful time of enjoying the various flavours.
Music is a great vehicle for mindful activities. Lie together on the floor and just
take in the music. Let the child enjoy their music as well as other music you may introduce.
Mindfulness is all about learning to savour the moment and to appreciate and be sensitive to what is happening around you. In our world of over stimulation, it is wonderful to introduce to our children, the art of slowing down and simply smelling the roses. One they feel the advantage they will adopt the principal themselves. Here you give them a great new life source.
“Wake up to what’s around you and savour the moment with your child.”