What AI Means for Your Child’s Education And How to Help Them Thrive

Why it works:

• It’s a hot topic. Parents are hearing about AI everywhere but may not understand how it relates to school.

• It positions you as forward-thinking, offering clarity in an area full of uncertainty.

• It opens up a new parenting role: helping kids navigate the future, not just the present.

• It shows that you are listening to what's new and about.

What you could include:

• What’s already happening in schools: AI in homework tools, learning platforms, and even marking systems. Find out if the school has sent home any information.

• What kids are curious about or using: Chat GPT, Tik Tok etc.

• How to support healthy use: guiding curiosity, spotting misinformation, encouraging creativity, not cheating. Talk frequently about the use and abuse of such a tool as AI.

• Future skills to nurture: critical thinking, empathy, digital discernment. Talk about how different industries could use AI.

• Look up the web to see what the Education Department is writing about AI and what advice they have for parents.

Your child needs to see that you are not intimidated by change and that you carefully assess what is new and different. The more discussion with your child the better. Allow them to tell you what they know about AI.

“To be an effective learner we should be open to new and challenging concepts.”

— Gail J Smith

Understanding Your Child’s Weekly Challenges at School And How You Can Help

School is a full-time job for children, filled with learning, social interactions, and daily challenges. As a parent, understanding what your child faces each week can help you provide meaningful support at home. Here’s a guide to some common challenges children encounter and practical ways you can help them navigate these experiences.

Academic Learning Challenges

Children are constantly absorbing new information, which can sometimes feel overwhelming. Some children take a longer time to process information, which can cause them stress.

How You Can Help:

• Ask specific questions: Instead of asking “How was school?” try “What was the most interesting thing you learned today?”

• Create a homework-friendly environment: A quiet, well-lit space helps children concentrate.

• Encourage a growth mindset: Praise effort, not just results. Saying, “I love how you kept trying!” builds resilience. It is the process of learning that is important.

• Use real-life learning opportunities: If they’re learning fractions, bake together. If it’s history, visit a museum or watch a documentary. Make learning fun.

Friendships and Social Dynamics

Navigating friendships, dealing with peer pressure, and handling conflicts are significant aspects of school life.

How You Can Help:

• Encourage open conversations: Ask about their friends, group activities, and how they felt during social interactions. Never criticize their choice of friends.

• Model positive social interactions: Show them how to manage conflicts calmly and respectfully in everyday life. Talk about your situations where being calm and steady were necessary.

• Teach empathy: Ask, “How do you think your friend felt?” to encourage perspective-taking.

Managing Expectations and Pressure

Children often feel pressure to perform academically, socially, or in extracurricular activities.

How You Can Help:

• Normalize mistakes: Share your own experiences of learning from failures.

• Help them prioritize: Teach time management with a simple planner or checklist.

• Balance activities: Ensure they have downtime to relax and just be kids.

• Celebrate small successes: Acknowledge their hard work, even if results aren’t perfect.

Handling Tiredness and Stress

A full school week can leave children mentally and physically drained. This can cause unwanted anxiety.

How You Can Help:

• Ensure enough sleep: Set a regular bedtime and limit screen time before bed. Keep their room suitably dark to help them sleep well.

• Promote relaxation techniques: Deep breathing, stretching, or listening to calming music can help. Sometimes having an ongoing art activity or jigsaw puzzle set up can be beneficial.

• Encourage outdoor play: Fresh air and movement help relieve stress. This can be through regular park visits or simply a kick of a ball in the backyard. Make exercise a regular part of their weekly routines.

• Check for over-scheduling: If they’re exhausted, it may be time to scale back commitments. This could include a complete break for a few days.

• Positive outlook: Try to keep a positive outlook in the home throughout the week. This reduces stress.

Building Confidence and Independence

As children grow, they need to develop self-confidence and independence in learning and decision-making. This is where you let them grow emotionally and socially.

How You Can Help:

• Let them solve problems: Instead of jumping in, guide them to find solutions.

• Give responsibilities at home: Small tasks like packing their school bag help build independence.

• Encourage self-advocacy: If they have an issue at school, discuss how they might talk to their teacher about it.

• Foster resilience: Teach them that setbacks are part of learning and encourage perseverance.

Final Thoughts

Just as we experience ups and downs across the week, just as we also feel tired, irritated and unhappy from time to time, so will our child. Your capacity to listen well to their concerns and to offer good counsel with not too much intervention is a helpful way to support their busy week. They need to live in a child's world which will mimic the ups and downs of adult life in some ways. Your hand will be there to guide them gently into making good choices that strengthen their foundation years.

How to choose the best school for your child?

At this stage of the year many parents are reflecting on where to send their first child to school. It is also useful for all parents of children in schools to reflect on what your school is currently offering your child. Is it living up to those expectations you have of it? Is your child happy at school?

Here are some reflections on how you can research your local schools. Keep in mind though that your participation and engagement with that school will make all the difference to your child's success in that environment.

Consider:

• Consider the school's proximity to your home or workplace for ease of commute and involvement. Also consider your child will establish friends at that school and this will impact on your social life at home as often children want to play with friends outside of school hours.

• Look at the school’s curriculum and special programs to see if they align with your child’s learning style and interests. Is the school looking into optional programs to support various children's needs?

• Smaller class sizes often mean more individual attention for your child. Check the teacher- student ratio. Consider is the school likely to grow in numbers quickly as that will affect class sizes?

• Research the school’s reputation through reviews from other parents, online ratings, and talking to local community members.

• Ensure the school offers a range of extracurricular activities that match your child’s interests, such as sports, arts, or clubs.

• Visit the school to get a feel for its culture and values. Make sure it aligns with your family’s values and supports a positive environment. Attend functions such as s school fairs to get a feel for the environment.

• Check the quality of the school’s facilities, including classrooms, libraries, sports areas, and technology. Are their any plans for new buildings, renovations etc.?

• Find out what support services are available, such as counselling, special education, and tutoring programs.

• Assess how the school communicates with parents and the opportunities available for parental involvement.

• Review the school’s safety protocols and discipline policies to ensure a secure and well- managed environment.

• Look at the school’s performance data, such as test scores and graduation rates, to gauge academic success. Take care though that this is only one feature of a school. Your child's learning is very holistic and they will need development in their social, emotional and physical development alongside side the intellectual development.

• Take a tour of the school, meet the staff, and observe classes to get a firsthand impression.

A school can be many things to children. Primarily they need to feel welcomed and believe that they can safely learn in that environment. No school environment is perfect. What is important is that your child feels strongly connected to the school and can grow with confidence and the reassurance that everyone is there for them.

“The quality of your child’s education at any school will be enriched by your relationship to that school.”

— Gail J Smith

Helping your child navigate social challenges at school

There will always different forms of social challenges at school. There is no denying it and when your child navigates those occasions well, they grow both in intellectual and social maturity. Here are some ideas to support them:

1. Teach Effective Communication:

   Role-play with your child to practice different communication scenarios, such as how to ask for help, express their feelings, or resolve conflicts with classmates. Teach them how to express an ‘I’ statement that clearly states their feelings.  For example: “I am sad that… I am unhappy when you….”

2. Encourage Empathy and Kindness:

   Discuss real-life situations with your child where empathy made a difference, like helping a friend who was feeling sad or being inclusive during group activities. Also your modelling in demonstrating empathy and kindness are so important.

3. Promote Social Skills Development:

   Enrol your child in extracurricular activities like drama, art, or team sports to improve their social skills, teamwork, and cooperation. Regularly engagement in sports and other group activities also teaches self discipline, learning to accept disappointments etc.

4. Provide Problem-Solving Strategies:

   Share the "STOP" strategy with your child (Stop, Think, Options, Pick one), which can help them make thoughtful choices when faced with social challenges. Also teach about negotiation and resolving conflicts where compromise and understanding are included.

5. Foster Resilience:

   When your child encounters setbacks or rejection, discuss the importance of learning from failures and trying again, emphasising that challenges are opportunities for growth. Talk about famous people who have experienced failure in their efforts to be successful.

6. Open Lines of Communication:

   Create a safe and non-judgmental environment at home for your child to share their experiences and concerns about school. Regularly ask open-ended questions like, "How was your day?" to encourage conversation. Remember that in being non-judgmental your child will feel safe in talking about matters that are on their mind.

Encourage your child to be an optimistic and to feel that they can overcome social issues that they `come across. Let them learn (from the above suggestions) that there are many ways and means to work through social challenges. Of course the more personally confident a child becomes the easier the process of working more confidently through social challenges.

‘Promise me you’ll always remember:

you’re braver than you believe,

 and stronger than you see,

and smarter that you think.

- Christopher Robin

School is a magical place and children learn through many and varied mystical ways

As parents, we often view school through a pragmatic lens, focusing on academics, discipline, and schedules. But what if we told you that school is a place filled with enchantment, surprising lessons, and unexpected delights? Welcome to a realm where the extraordinary happens every day.

1.  The Classroom as a Magical Workshop

   Enter your child's classroom, where they don't just learn maths and science but the art of creativity. Teachers are the magicians who inspire imagination, and each notebook is a canvas for dreams. Learn the secret of fostering a love for learning and the unexpected joys of discovery. So much can happen in a classroom every day.

2. The Extracurricular Enchantment

   Beyond the classroom, the real treasures await. From drama club to soccer practice, extracurricular activities are the magical keys to hidden talents and friendships. Discover how these hobbies unlock your child's unique potential. They are the great joy after formal school hours and they are such an enriching  and enlivening experience.

3. Library Lore: Where Words Become Spells

   Wander into the school library, a sanctuary where books are the enchanted portals to different worlds. Here, children discover the joy of reading and the power of storytelling. Learn how to nurture a lifelong love of literature and the spellbinding connections it weaves. Just a simple roaming around the books is a mindful experience.

4. The Playground: Where Rules Bend and Friendships Flourish

   The schoolyard is not just for games; it's a realm where children master the art of negotiation, cooperation, and resilience. Explore the playground's hidden curriculum and the magic of recess that fosters life skills. Teachers on duty will tell you that life really happens on the playground.

5.  Parent-Teacher Conferences - The Sorcery of Communication

   Delve into parent-teacher conferences, where insights into your child's world are revealed. These meetings are like wizardly crystal balls, helping you understand your child's needs and strengths, and how to be an effective partner in their education journey. Listen closely to what is said and I don’t mean their test scores. The teachers really know how your child ticks. Here you can learn about what drives your child’s interests and passions.

School is a treasure chest of enchantment, where the everyday holds more wonder than you might have imagined. To keep the magic alive, remember to engage with your child's school experiences, encourage their passions, and be open to the unexpected lessons that can't be found in textbooks. Listen and learn to what enlivens your child on a daily basis.

‘When you see your child’s school as a magical, mysterious house of learning, it becomes one.’

- Gail J Smith

Be available to listen to your child at this early stage of the school year

At this early stage of the school year it is most important to be a good listener to your child. There will be the usual challenges and adjustments with a new classroom teacher and a different culture of children in a class. They need to have your ear when they come home. Some reasons for effective listening are listed below. You may identify with some as only you know how your child responds to change.

• Being a good listener builds trust between you and your child. Once trust is established they will talk more about their deep concerns. They will safe to talk.

• By actively listening, you can understand any concerns or anxieties your child may have about the new school year. Addressing these concerns helps them feel supported.

• Listening attentively to your child's thoughts and feelings promotes their emotional well-being. It provides a safe space for them to express themselves, reducing stress and fostering a positive mindset.

• Effective listening helps you identify your child's needs, whether they're related to schoolwork, social interactions, or personal challenges. This allows you to provide appropriate support and guidance. It is different for every child.

• When you listen well you will actually be surprised at what you hear. Then asking simple questions may help get to the bottom of the problem sooner.

• When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their confidence. Knowing that their opinions and experiences matter encourages them to engage more actively in school and other social situations. Sometimes just talking it through is enough!

• Actively listening to your child strengthens the bond between you. It creates a sense of connection and security, making them more likely to turn to you for guidance and support. That is the right place for your child to get the support.

• Understanding your child's thoughts about school allows you to provide targeted support for their academic success. You can address any challenges they may be facing and work together on solutions.

• When you get into the habit of listening well your child will expect nothing less. However the reward is the richness of conversation that develops.

• A child who feels vulnerable in talking about their concerns will only disclose if they are genuinely listened to in a safe and trusting environment. Know your child’s needs.

• Time is needed to be an active listener. You cannot do it on the run. Allow time when your child needs to talk.

At this early stage of the year is it a good idea to be readily available to listen to your child. They may need that comfortable ear.

“When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly”

— Gail J Smith

Why formal education is so important

From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. It is also true to say that some people do not have fond memories of school and sadly there are sound reasons why that was the case. However, I am very much all for the advantages of formal learning sitting of course alongside the journey of learning that you the parents provide. When we have our doubts about formal school think about the following thoughts that remind us of what can be gained through formal schooling..

1. Foundation of Knowledge:

   School provides the basic knowledge and skills needed to understand the world, like reading, writing, and basic maths. The formality of the classes comes with teacher’s training in techniques of teaching literacy. Parents work closely in conjunction with the school and enjoy those early years of their child opening their minds to reading.

2. Social Skills and Relationships:

   It's where children learn to interact with others, make friends, and build essential social skills. The school yard is a miniature society where life happens and social engagements occurs.

3. Opportunities for Future Careers:

   Education at school opens doors for various jobs and careers by providing a foundation of knowledge and qualifications. School provides networks where  a student can access so much knowledge of what happens beyond school.

4. Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving:

   School teaches how to think critically, solve problems, and make decisions, skills needed in everyday life. Teachers are well resourced to provide the best environment for this critical aspect of  learning.

5. Personal Development:

   It helps in developing discipline, time management, and responsibility, preparing kids for life as adults. The culture of the classroom and the social interpersonal experiences that happen each day are constantly feeding the maturation of personal development.

6. Understanding the World:

   School exposes students to various subjects, cultures, and ideas, broadening their understanding of the world. There are many constant discussion etc on what the world is about through a school environment.

7. Health and Well-being:

   It often includes education about health, nutrition, and exercise, promoting a healthier lifestyle. Also school offers children the opportunity to join teams etc.

8. Lifelong Learning:

   It instils the value of continuous learning, encouraging a habit of learning throughout life. A classroom is a powerhouse of learning. Teachers use their talents to teach children all sorts of things and especially engage them in being independent learners.

‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’

Malcolm X

10 strategies to get the best from school as the year begins

Now that your child has started school, think about what we control and what we don’t. There will be many challenges for your child in the classroom but they are their challenges and we simply listen and encourage them through the process.

1. You will have many pressures on you as the year progresses. You can start to say ‘no’ so that you scrutinise what you are doing. This will give more time identify what is important in the family and with your child. Start discerning what is really important so that you can unclutter your time.

2. Your child is back at school. Make everyday a learning day. Listen to what they tell you after school and enjoy all the new learning that comes their way. Be excited and interested in what new aspects of school life they have discovered.

3. When you talk to your child about school days, keep in mind that their world is to be owned by them. Be an active listener and not invasive in helping them solve their problems. Be a consultant and listen with interest.

4. Keep up healthy morning rituals to get the children up and running. A strong, consistent morning routine helps them stay focused and get to school with the least distraction. This is especially important for the more anxious child.

5. Don’t be angry in the mornings. Make them a happy, stable space for the child in getting ready for school. They need to go to school in a happy disposition. Otherwise, a child will only contemplate that angry feeling over the day, which will limit their opportunities.

6. Try to keep insignificant matters down to a minimum. There is much to absorb when school starts and the more insignificance we bring into our time, the less we focus on the important things. Keep things simple and uncomplicated.

7. Be careful not to dive into saying things that could be best left unsaid. You will hear much from your child when they come home each day. Listen and process the information. Pause and think before you have an opinion. They will pick up your judgement very quickly.

8. As the weeks and the year unfolds, you will learn much about the class, teachers, etc. you may change your opinion over time. Take care not to be too opinionated early in the year. Your child needs to make their own judgements and learn from that experience.

9. Concentrate on the present situation at school. Try not to worry about future issues that may occur. What is surprising, is the twist and turns that happen over a school year. Much is unpredictable and we cannot plan for it. Just enjoy the moments as your child finds their way through the first few weeks of school. Everything is a discovery.

10. When you hear some negative talk, try to give the school the benefit of the doubt. Schools work very hard to build strong foundations with parents and often what you hear may not be the truth. Your child needs to feel that you trust and have faith in their school. This gives them the reassurance they need every day. Let the school year be a growing time for your child with all the optimism and hope that it can possibly carry for the year.

‘Optimism isn’t a belief that things will automatically get better, it’s a conviction that we can make things better.’

-Melinda Gates

A few tips to get you started in term four

This is quite a special term in the school life. There is generally a very comfortable atmosphere in each classroom. It is also a term that talks about putting closure on the school year and that can come with excitement, anticipation or some anxiety about letting go of what they have built up all year.

 Here are some thoughts about the business of term four that you may find helpful:

•      Teachers come back to term four with plans of finally testing the children. October is a time when this may start and teachers will be now preparing for those final tests that will be the backbone of your child’s school report. If you are planning to be away, best to talk to your teacher about their testing plans.

•      Some children can become a little anxious as there is much talk about change for the new school year, class lists, being with friends and leaving their teachers. Also there can be rumours about who is leaving and discussion that is not healthy about what teachers you should not get for the new year. Try to avoid any negative talk around the school and reassure your child that the best will be put in place for the new year. Anxious talk leads to anxious thoughts.

•      Term four is also a celebratory term and there will be parties and fun activities planned for the school and class. Keep in the loop as to what is happening at the school and how you can be part of the end of year functions. After all, the school is an important part of your life as a parent.

•      Keep the conversation going at home about the change that will come at the end of the year. Some children need to be given more reassurance that the change will be a good thing and that they will grow from the experience.

•      Towards the end of the year some children become anxious that they may not be placed in the same class as their best friends. Here I would recommend talking to your teacher about this issue as in many cases a change is exactly what may be needed and your teacher may have very good reasons why this is the case.

•      Avoid writing letters to the school about why your child should be with a certain friend or teacher. Conversation is the best way to go forward and the teacher can give you a fuller understanding of the best placement for your child. This means placing trust in the school. They understand so well the dynamics of a classroom.

•      As the term progresses, talk to your child about how they want to farewell the year at school. Perhaps writing letters to friends and teachers. It is a wonderful time to reflect on the year and to be grateful for all the positive things that have happened. This is all about teaching your child to be reflective and say farewell gracefully.

•      Parent teacher interviews will be important if the school holds them. Write down all the questions you have and bring along your child to the interview. It is a very successful way of formally thanking the teacher for the year spent with your child. It will also help you put closure on the school year which has had a very big impact on your life.

Enjoy the term it will be a busy one and it will go quickly. Just keep talking to your child about how they are feeling with regard to the closure of the class and the prospect of change. Affirm their great efforts of completing yet another school year. Their end of year feelings should be a mixture of excitement, anticipation with a little bit of expected anxiousness about the unknown. This is a healthy mix!

 Finally this quote from A. A. Milne is worth talking to your child about:

        ‘How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.’

              ‘What feels like the end is often the beginning.’

                                                                                           Unknown

How to help your child with reading

The power of learning to read is immense. It starts at an early age and once a child has the gift of reading their world increases immeasurably. The gift of reading means that the child’s world is wide open to all sorts of possibilities and without the ability to read their world shrinks to quite an intolerable state.       

9 Ways to help your child learn to read.

Let’s look at how you can help your child learn to read. It can be done in a  gentle way and through spontaneity.

• Early teaching is a good idea. Don’t wait until school starts. A child is curious about reading at a very early age. By helping them early to learn it shows your child that reading is a valuable tool that you want them to have access to as soon as possible.

• Reading to your child is a wonderful way of introducing reading. Here the child enjoys stories and comes to want to be able to take ownership of the art of reading for themselves. Keep books visible around the house. These can be books that they simply pick up and look through the illustrations and at some point they may start to mimic the way you read to them. At some point, they will learn to memorise the story. This is all healthy pre-reading skills. Enjoy the early stages of their learning to read and try not to correct them when they make a mistake. It is all about experimenting to read. It should all be seen as a successful project.

• Speaking to your child, using language is such a powerful tool in helping with reading. The more language they hear the more they retain words, expressions etc. and will apply them in their own attempts to read. Let them see and hear that you value language and use yourself to communicate effectively. Have fun with words and keep introducing new words slowly and steadily.

• As you talk to your child have them tell you a story. Let them use their imagination and make it up.  Write the story down and point to the words. They can have fun colouring them in. Here it is all about experimenting with the written words.

• Teach phonics. When you speak the child hears the whole word. Break a word up so they begin to hear the different sounds. For example, ‘dog’ is heard as a whole word. Start to break up the phonics say, D- O- G you can turn it into a game where your child starts to hear themselves sound out the word.

• Listen to your child read especially with books they bring home from school. It is acceptable to get them to reread sections in which they make mistakes. A child always wants to get it all right. They like to hear themselves read with fluency.

• Teach them that writing is an important part of literacy. Keep pencils and pens around the house. Let them sketch scenes and then copy words perhaps trace them and eventually they have a go at writing them. A great tool is to write simple notes to your child, think about including little notes in their lunch box or on their pillow. Write words around the house to label items. Here you are inviting them to read for meaning, Eventually, they want to send a note back and may attempt to write.

• Ask lots of questions when they read a story. Here you are strengthening their comprehension and encouraging them to be more inquiring about what they read.

• Reading should be a regular, happy part of family life. It should be celebrated and books should be discussed at home. Talk about how you enjoyed a book and ask your child what they are reading at the moment. Keep books alive in the family.

Your help in giving your child a vivid impression that reading is part of life will go a long way to their success in reading. Accept all their attempts to read and affirm their efforts. Take care not to criticise errors but rather help them make happy corrections. Above all nurture their interest in reading on a regular basis. Reading is a gift for life. 

‘Reading should not be presented to children as a chore, or duty. It should be offered as a gift.’

                                                         - Kate DeCamillo

Dealing with stress in children

Stress comes in all shapes and forms across childhood. Sometimes it is easy to move on from small matters other times it can be quite consuming for a child and very complex for a parent to manage. Either way stress in some form is part of all our lives.

Early man saw stress as a mechanism to survive. Once they recognised the degree of stress affecting their survival certain tactics were put in place to keep them alive. So we have been dealing with stress since the caveman era. It is almost part of our DNA.

Here are some suggestions on keeping stress levels at bay or at least contained in a manageable package. However, we recognise that stress factors operate around us all the time. Developing tactics to deal with them is the key.

 Consider:

• Getting enough sleep is so important for mental well-being. Check your child’s room. Is there adequate light reductions at night? Are they sleeping in a comfortable space that gives them several hours of uninterrupted sleep? Do they fall asleep quickly? What can you do to enrich their bedroom by inviting a better place for sleeping?

• We often talk about physical exercise that will lower anxiety. The more children enjoy physical activities, the happier the space they are in. Consider all the sports that are on offer. Joining a  team sport has immense befits for building personal stamina.

• When a stress factor comes into play talk it through with your child. Maybe it can be worked through simply. The more the talk, the greater the propensity for solving the stress. Keeping silent about it only adds to stress and sometimes exacerbates the problem.

• Fresh air and the outside environment is a wonderful distraction for stress. It is amazing how a walk through a park, a swim in a pool, a climb of a hill etc will take away the stress feeling. For children sometimes just a hit of the basketball in the yard is a great release.

• Some children like to journal their feelings. If this is the case provide plenty of paper and a pencil or a diary to write about their feelings. Remember that you are encouraging them still to talk about the content so that you can both work on the stress factors.

• Teachers will often encourage children to write about their feelings. It is recognised as a very legitimate way to express yourself.

• Encourage your child to see their stress as something they can manage. Teach them that dealing with little matters can keep away the bigger anxieties. Set up a home environment that is open and invites children to talk about stress. By listening to them and not judging their worries they are more inclined to feel they can open up a conversation about anxious feelings.

• A major source of stress can be school. Keep an open mind about school matters and ask your child open-ended questions like:

                ‘I wonder how school went today?’

                ‘School can be tricky at times. I remember when I had some issues to think about’.

• Avoid using the dreaded basic question,

                ‘What happened at school today?’

        Expect the answer:                 

                ‘Nothing.’

• Keep an eye on the amount of stress that your child is displaying. For example monitor more carefully:

1.  changed eating habits,

2.  neglecting regular duties

3.  heightened irritability.

4.  increased defiance

5.  letting go of friends

6. outbursts of irrational anger

• When you think it is not manageable for a simple chat, time to take action and start with a conversation at school with the teacher. Much is revealed from such conversations.

• Be astute and when you can avoid a stressful situation with your child avoid it. Less confrontation and reducing anxiety is the better option. To avoid stress is a proactive way of dealing with it.

Finally, we understand that we live in an environment that can trigger stress in our children. Our role as parents is to simply demonstrate the wisdom to be present and helpful with our children by effective listening. Be prepared, this sometimes means compromises on yourselves.

         ‘Courage is not the absence of fear but doing something in spite of fear.’

                                                                                -Unknown

Set small goals to set success.

Encourage your child to develop successful habits. It is well known that success breeds success and the more a child feels capable and experiences success they quickly build their confidence which feeds into more success.

Teachers know that when a child gains a sense of success and achievement they are generally happier and more inclined to take a risk and to not worry when they make a mistake. Once they feel capable of success and have demonstrated it to themselves, taking risks is a comfortable process and they’re not worried about making mistakes as their emotional stamina is strong enough to deal with failure.

•  Attract success. A child should have regular incidences of success both at home and at school. They can be intermittent but they come as part of the child’s daily experiences. Remember ongoing success continues to feed  into that sense of well being.

• Do you notice how often in small ways your child is successful and if so do you acknowledge it? For example, when your child learns to skip, do headstands, write sentences correctly, play fairly and well in a sports team etc. these are successful occasions. There are many occasions to show how they are successful. These are small incremental steps but build a body of success.

• Tell your child that they have had a success when you notice it and talk about the positive feeling associated:

‘You must be so pleased with yourself that you can now get your pen license from school. Well done. What a success.’

• A wise person looks to achieve goals that are within grasp. It is all about not sabotaging your sense of possible success. It is about being realistic. You can help your child choose goals that are within reason. Certainly no harm in stretching their thinking but take care that they are not setting unrealistic expectations doomed for failure.

• A child who goes after smaller and more regular goals begins to feel very confident and will wisely choose goals that take them a step ahead.

• Think about how a child learns to walk. Through trial and error they learn and gradually they push themselves a little harder. What joy for them and everyone when they finally walk. Something drives them to keep going as they move from crawling to sitting up, etc.

• Working towards a goal should be a happy experience and should not come with too much stress and anxiety. Too much pressure on a child will make the goal too unreachable and unjustifiably a child will feel a failure. Small steady chunks to achieve reasonable goals is the best way forward.

• Teach your child that celebrating success is important along the way. Make it a family habit to regularly talk about the small successes that your child makes. Be noisy about it and it will appear an expected and  natural part of life.

• Setting a goal that is a long way away means that you need to help your child take small steps to get there. For example, their goal is to learn how to sew and they want to make a dress. You will take small steps in teaching them and applaud the small improvements along the way. So much to learn but with increased knowledge and experience on the sewing machine the final garment is a product of great pride and success.

Finally, be observant and notice those small, incidental, successful steps your child takes and they will do the rest!

                       ‘Success is not final, failure is not fatal:

                        It is the courage to continue that counts.’

                                                                                     -Winston Churchill

11 ways to help your child become settled and have the best opportunities at school

1. Always trust the school. If you have doubts those doubts will translate into concerns for your child very quickly. If you have concerns talk to the school but take care about how your child interprets your concerns.

2. Be diligent in checking notes sent home which are mostly electronic noways but it is most important to attend parent nights. Of course, parent-teacher interviews are a must.

3. Be available to help the school in various ways. This can be a simple as manning a stand at Fair time through to being on the school board. You learn so much more by connecting to the school this way.

4. Support homework expectations. This does not mean doing the homework but providing a climate at home that enables the child to do their homework. If they have significant difficulty contact the teacher as homework is the responsibility of the teacher who set it.

5. When your child leaves for school in the morning ensure they are ready mentally and physically. Have they had enough sleep, eaten a good breakfast and left without emotionally unresolved matters to deal with at home? Are they walking to school, riding etc? A child ready for school makes a great deal of difference in their day’s effectiveness.

6. At home demonstrate how organisation is important. Keep the balance right. A child that lives around structure and routine will have a better balanced week and feel more in charge of what they are doing. This also includes checking on after-school activities that need to be balanced with sleep, homework, play etc.

7. By reading the school’s website you become more familiar with all the rules and regulations. This is helpful especially when an incident occurs and you need to understand how the school plans to handle the matter. Staff are regularly in serviced on their policies and procedures and when dealing with children will refer to them regularly.

8. Keep the conversation of school alive throughout the week. Children need to see that you value their school experiences and it flows into the family psyche. Positive family talk around the richness of school life and its influences on a child’s life, should be the order of the day.

9. Keep the home environment alive with learning material around the house. Demonstrate that books are available and in sight. Leave school notes on fridge and use dinner time as a chance to talk about the day at school.

10. Demonstrate to your child that you are proud of their school and impressed with how it helps your child learn. Talk out loud to others in front of your child about the school and the teachers. All positive of course. This builds reassurance for the child that they are in the right place and much valued by you, the parent.

11. Finally, be in touch regularly with your child’s teacher. In this way communication channels are always wide open and having a relationship with the teachers gives you more opportunities to be in touch with everyday matters.

 ‘The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you.’                                                                                                                                                                                        B.B.King

Children who find school a struggle

Many children have times when they feel they are struggling not just with school but also with friends, home issues, siblings, etc. Children can and do have down times. It’s natural. Also there are some children who really find the process of school difficult academically and socially. There are many shades in between but it is reasonable to say that most children will have some struggles along the way. A proportion of this is acceptable, but when it gets out of hand it is necessary to intervene but effectively.

 Consider:

• If your child has outbursts of frustration then these must just happen. Sometimes frustration comes out through poor behaviour, moodiness, etc., but these feelings need to be expelled. It is their way of letting you know how poor they feel and they want you to have that same feeling. Best to let it happen and gently talk to them:

           ‘Seems like you have something on your mind. You are so upset.’

Here you are giving them a chance to simply talk about the matter. You are not asking the question, why?

• Creating space when tension builds is a great vehicle for a child letting off steam and it gives you the parent a chance to process what has just happened with the outburst. Many a time in the classroom, when tension was building up, we all went out for a quick run on the oval. It was an amazing way to break from the stress and it set the scene for a new direction. Fresh air and a quick walk can make all the difference for all parties concerned.

• After a child becomes reactive you cannot go straight into conversations,  trying to make sense of what has happened. They are simply not listening at that point and probably will not hear the logic of what you are saying. In our best interest we want to understand the behaviour but think about yourself after you have been quite upset, do you hear what people are saying to you? The same happens after shocks. That immediate follow up time is a time when listening is non existent.

• There is a tendency to naturally help our children excessively especially when we see them struggling. Whilst your assistance is needed and valued it, should be tempered with the child learning about failure and accepting that we learn through failure. However, a child must have feelings of success along the way. So I appreciate the care and balance you make as a caring parent when helping your child.

• Keep the school close to you. They are the key figures in formal learning for the child. They set homework and should take responsibility if it is too much for the child. Homework is very secondary as a learning tool and should not come between you and the child. Remember you are not the arbitrator of what the child learns. You are the loving parent giving reassurance.

• Helping your child put organisation into their life is a great way of supporting their learning. Many children can get overwhelmed by the school’s expectations and if you gently assist in helping them plan out the week this can reduce pressure.

• If you have a child inclined to build anxiety quickly then consider slowing down the expectations for the week. Tailor those expectations to suit how the child is coping and be flexible when it comes to domestic expectations etc. A change in pace can make all the difference for an anxious child who lacks confidence.

• Plenty of sleep and exercise is a critical dimension to a child’s life. Sometimes when a child is struggling at school they may have success through sport and they feel so much better.

• Try not to keep asking how are they going at school? They will tell you in due time. Asking too often can only encourage them to shut down and not talk about school at all. After all who wants to talk about feeling a failure? Turn your questions about school into a positive framework:

             ‘You seemed happy coming out of the classroom, I wonder what that was about?’

Classroom teachers are very conscious of providing daily balance for the children throughout the whole week. This balance is all about ensuring they have successes and they learn from mistakes. They should have moments of feeling good about their achievements and moments of being socially well accepted. It’s all about the right checks and balances and so too is our parenting, especially with those children more vulnerable.

‘There are two gifts we should give our children, is roots and the other is wings.’  

6 simple tips on easing back into school

1.    Be prepared

Involve the children in the general preparation for starting school. Have plenty of good conversations around all the items they will need. Talk about their new teacher and chat about their friendships that they will re-establish. Treat starting school as a normal process and one which will be exciting, a happy experience and full of a healthy hope. It’s amazing how positive talk can influence a person’s well being by building a healthy set of attitudes. 

2.    What is normal now?

There is no escaping the need for a robust conversation on where the pandemic is at and how schools will manage the situation (age-appropriate discussion of course.) Our children need to be part of the real world and take ownership of themselves when it comes to good hygiene habits. Simply relying on the teachers will not work. Children need to feel in control of their personal situation. 

3.    Sound home routines and yet be adjustable

6 Simple Steps on Easing Back into School

Now is the time to start talking about the weekly routines and what that will look like for everyone in the family. In such discussions be inclusive of strategies you take as a family to be safe from the virus. We now acknowledge that we live with this reality. This may mean at times accepting chaos and flowing with changes as they come. This will ultimately reduce stress. 

 4.    Dealing with school feelings in the presence of the virus

Some children may have anxieties already about going back to school away from their safe home. Chat about the positive actions taken by schools and the Government to keep them safe at school. They need your reassurance that this is best for them. Try listing all the facts that lead to a safe setting. For example, using sanitiser in class, wearing masks etc. The list will mount up and give your child some reassurance.

 5.    The reluctant learner

Our children have recently experienced less classroom contact than ever before. Therefore, they have become familiar with less conversation, interaction and stimulus from group activities. This can be more of a problem for quieter, less confident children. A good way to strengthen and build their confidence is to keep robust chatter going at home. Provide games and challenges to stimulate engagement with others. Keep the home life an interactive environment where conversation is a strong force in all members of the family and not just the noisy ones.

 6.    Developing the best attitude for 2022

A helpful goal this year is to work on our mental attitude to the pandemic. The quality of our thoughts ripples through our actions. How we reflect on the changing situation can hinder or help my mental health and also impact on our children. We can consciously choose our attitude when we hear of new developments. If we choose to see the best and positively work to being optimistic, our children will feel happier and more secure. Teach them to be an owner and not a blamer through the current crisis.

As school closes and holidays begin

Now it’s time to really rest and recover from a confusing and complex year. It is a time to gather with family and friends and above all to strengthen connections.

Children will be excited about holidays and carry some slight reservation about the year to date. No matter how the year went for your family with lockdowns etc, Christmas is a good time to put some ritual and normality into their lives. It is pointless reflecting on goals not achieved or plans abandoned. What’s done is done. Now is the time to bring some hope and joy into your life as a family. Christmas in a way is putting normality and ritual back into their lives.

A few latent thoughts about school, 2021.

• Try to not reflect on what was not achieved. Teachers will have done their best under the circumstances.

• You will actually be surprised how much your child has learnt over the year and in surprisingly different ways. Children are more sensitised to how society is responding to such a crisis as the pandemic. Their maturity and self-awareness will have been given a sudden and unexpected jolt. Perhaps they are more intuitive about where and how to function around people. They have learnt to accept less and to be patient and tolerant of others. In our society, which has been focussing on the individual for some time, the lockdowns and pandemic has forced us to look at the common good for all. It has been about compromising lifestyle so that lives are saved.

• Schools have worked hard to put a good closure on the school year and no doubt some positive talk about next year, would have been the order of the day, especially discussing class groups etc. The children would have left the school, hopeful and excited for 2022. I have every confidence in the positive speak that teachers would have given the children in their planning for the New Year. Their job is all about giving children hope through the learning experience.

• Tap into your child from time to time, to understand how they are processing and reflecting on the 2021 year. Some children may need to talk more about their experiences and feelings, others may be quick to move on. It will be different for each child. Listen carefully to your child to hear their cry for support.

• Above all look to the future with optimism and give your child a clear understanding of how you, as a family are managing the ongoing situation. Keep them well informed (age appropriate) and talk positively about how the new year will present challenges and opportunities.

‘Optimism is a kind of stimulant- the digitalis of failure.’

-Elbert Hubbard

A few thoughts as school closes for the year

It has occurred to me recently that some families are feeling some delayed anxiety over what formal schooling the children have missed for yet another year. Understandably, this can play on your mind. Perhaps you should be compensating for missed contact hours at school? Below are some thoughts to set your mind at ease.

• It has been a level playing field for all schools. Therefore, teachers in the new year will adjust in their teaching to accommodate the previously dishevelled year. Teachers will plan with this in mind in the new year and allow time for children to catch up. Their job is to work from where the child is at in their learning.

• The best way to support your child during the holidays is to keep up with reading. For younger children you will be more involved and for the independent readers just plan time in the family when reading is part of the daily routine.

• Keep conversations alive in the family and invite your child to talk as much as possible. This helps develop oral language and also feeds into auditory learning where listening is important.  Therefore, ask your child questions and allow them time to respond. We need to keep all aspects of learning and developing literacy as high as possible.

• Play games together. Jigsaw puzzles are wonderful for developing the brain. Reduce activities that are solo based. The more group activities involving coordination, conversation, negotiation and team efforts are excellent for further developing intuitive thought.

• Schools teach through the Inquiry approach which is all about questioning. When you see something worth discussing have robust discussions and invite opinions and questions by your child. This means giving less answers and being less opinionated or correct as the adult. Nothing stops a child more from talking than an opiniated adult or one that has all the answers.

• Affirm your child when they show initiatives in different directions.  Creativity is so important to nurture in our children. This is all about a child developing a curious and uninhibited attitude to life. Remember, whatever they try is a success and not a failure. They will be more inclined to keep showing initiative when encouraged.

• During the holidays keep the variety of activities going throughout the break. This invites a child to use their brain in different ways. Of course, we all know how long hours on the computer is sole destroying for enlivening the brain. It deadens the spirit an destroys healthy conversation.

• Even though formal school time was down in 2021, a child’s summer break is incredibly important for revival, sunshine, fresh air and childhood joy. If we deprive them of this, they will not have the recovery needed to begin another school year well. They will start 2022 with some residual unhappy feelings of the previous, interrupted school year. A refreshing holiday revives their spirit and enthusiasm to begin again with hope. I refer here to mental health which will have a direct impact on next year’s success if not handled well. Preparation is everything.

• If you have a child that likes to write, give them a journal for Christmas and invite them to record their holiday experiences in it. Less reluctant writers could write out shopping lists, etc.

Finally, worry less about what this year had to offer for your child as they will quickly reflect on your attitude and this can put doubt in their mind about moving forward positively and successfully.  You cannot change what has happened this year but you can influence a developing perception of next year. Children learn best when free of anxiety and self doubt.

‘We are what we believe we are.’

-C S Lewis

Developing new curriculum with political agendas attached

Trying to build in politically correct curriculum in a primary setting is thwart with difficulty. For a start, children are slowly developing reason and this takes time and patience. If you give them information that has no relevance to their world, it is not likely to be retained in the longer term nor comprehended effectively.

Primary years are foundational years, where the curriculum should be mainly around developing a child’s literacy and numeracy skills. It touches on areas such as science and technology, raising awareness of the arts, physical education and of course social skills and some history. That is a very brief explanation. A child should leave the primary school with confidence in their ability to learn independently and to have an inquiring mind into learning. It is not a time to influence children in politically orientated agendas, which will always change over time. A confident learner, who is open to learning, is what we want for our children. When they are older and can reason and rationalise, then discussing political matters has its purpose.

In my experience of over 29 years as Principal, I have worked through at least four major changes in curriculum and I have developed some clear beliefs about this topic. The mere fact that changes occur sends shudders through teachers who have to relearn and professionally skill themselves with new material to teach, assess, plan etc. They will also bemoan the fact that much time is taken in class for realigning curriculum which means less teaching time. Teachers are by nature learners and will always try new material but of course within reason.

Teachers in a primary setting know all too well that they are developing children socially, emotionally, intellectually and physically. It is a mixture of many things, which ultimately bring a child to a sense of feeling secure and happy in their learning style.

 Curriculum should:

• Enable children to be confidently literate and numerate. This is a significant focus in our primary schools. Without these basic skills, understanding the world is very difficult. Tackling secondary school can be so difficult, given that they have expectations that are challenging for those less skilled in literacy and numeracy.

• Invite children to question. The more they question and engage in talking about their work, the greater capacity they have to learn.

• Be relevant for the times, having a focus on science and technology.

• Ensure success and feelings of well being are built into all programs.

• Give children a sense that they are capable learners.

The fundamental point here is that whatever new curriculum is designed, it needs to be robust and demand the best from our children. It should not be sullied or compromised by the inclusion of current political agendas. Having seen various curriculum initiatives over the years, the quality of teaching will only bring curriculum to life. The content is only a guideline, a framework. All is in the hands of the teacher. Let’s hear it for the skill of teachers!

‘Good teachers teach. Great teachers transform.’

                  - Queen Rania of Jordan

Ten great ways to help your child settle back into school

1. Family chats about coming out of the lockdown

Gather as a family and talk about what it will be like going back to school after a long time. Let your child talk about their fears and anxious thoughts, which will generally be all about re-establishing friends, feeling safe and getting back their feeling of confidence in learning. Don’t be surprised or challenged by what they have to say, as it is their time to talk freely about their worries.

2.    Reassure your child that school is a safe place

Reassure them that they will be in safe hands and that their health will be a big consideration with the school. Some children may be anxious about leaving the safety of home given the pandemic discussions that are around. It may have been a lockdown, but for a child, the home created a safe haven. Give your child accurate information about the pandemic, but make it age appropriate. This is important, as unsettling gossip at school can destabilise a child.

3. Plan you way out of the lockdown

Design a plan which may involve you taking them to school, talking to the teacher etc. whatever makes them feel that you are still present in their lives away from home. This will make the transition a more secure one and will build trust in the child in resuming school.

4.    Change can bring feelings of grief

Never underestimate that your child will experience some grief in letting you go. The concentrated time they have spent with you has been for them a time of getting to know their parents more deeply and feeling comforted by your reassuring presence. Therefore, when school resumes, consider still spending dedicated quality time with them as going cold turkey will be very unsettling, especially for younger children.

5. Make home a consistent and safe place

Re-establishing themselves in a school setting will take time as routines and school patterns are slowly re-established or created. Keep home life consistent so that the child feels secure in the boundaries and familiar environment they know and enjoy. Their home has been a comfort zone for quite some time.

6. Check in with your child regularly.

Check in with them regularly about how they are coping back at school. It will be natural that they will have ups and downs, not the least of which will be friendships. They may wish to tell you all is well as not to upset you. However, be open to conversation and not too probing in questions.

‘Sometimes starting school after a long break can be difficult. I wonder how you are going with it?”

 7. Never underestimate the effect of change

Going back to school is an immense change. Don’t underestimate its impact on the child. Therefore, adapt or moderate the family lifestyle to accommodate how your child is coping. This may mean some compromises or simply ensuring that quality time with family is maintained.

 8. Affirm your child’s efforts in being a change agent

Affirm your child’s efforts in returning to school. This is quite a challenge for them on many levels. Your appreciation gives them some reassurance that they are doing their best under difficult circumstances and it is valued.

‘I am so proud that after a long time you can settle back into school. That is a big step after such a long break.’

9. Less talk about the things that bring us down

Keep negative chatter about the state of the pandemic down and talk about the positive aspects as we move forward. This is important to ensure that the children are not building negative thoughts, now that they are in the eyes and ears of a school community. Negative gossip can build anxiety.

10. Don’t underestimate the fatigue from such a change experience.

You may find your child may feel some fatigue, mental and physical in going back to school. This can be from all the new pressures and expectations placed on them which were not the case in the home environment. Plenty of rest at home and a gentle reintroduction into routines, sport etc. outside the home is the best way forward.

It is all about frequent checking in with their progress into the new framework of our post lockdown world.

A positive thought

It is just so tricky thinking up creative ways to have fun and engage with the children in lockdown. I was recently thinking of a very successful teacher who had the most wonderful disposition and skill in turning doom and gloom in the classroom into something happy and positive.

No mean feat when you have unsettled children. Perhaps her idea may have some application in your home. Call it a “negative stop buster” to clear the cobwebs and change thinking in a negative way.

Her method of improving attitude was to declare the day a P Day. This meant that the children could only talk positive talk and discuss things that were making them happy. For example:

• Today the sun has come out.

• I am really looking forward to lunch.

• I finished my on-line work. Yeh!!

• I will wear this t-shirt. I like all the colours.

• I love riding my bike.

• I am looking forward to some desert.

• Thanks for lending me your pencil.

• When we play Lego together I have so much fun.

What this teacher was doing was conditioning the children into seeing the small things in the day as positive. It is quite amazing how it can redirect your mood. In the junior classes, children would record how many times they talked about positive thoughts. It became quite a fun activity.

It was a game, but one in which the children turned their thinking to discovering the positive in simple things. This naturally created positive feelings that can take away the unsettling mood.

Perhaps you could have a “P” hour once a day as a whole day could be just too much to coordinate.

This game is simply a tool in redirecting negative thoughts into positive. You may find it a useful strategy in the home setting during these repeated days of more of the same.

No surprises, this teacher was well loved by the children. Positive people always attract others through their warm and happy disposition.

“A positive mindset brings positive things.”

— Phillip Reiter