Parenting through uncertain times

We live in a fast moving world where internet and especially social media impact so much on how we see and interpret the world. I appreciate that for parents finding the right path to direct and support their child over their growing years comes with challenges.

The following thoughts may help to provide a domestic climate where a child feels safe and enabled in such an overstimulated world:

• Communication is a vital key to supporting your children. Encourage open and honest communication with your children about what is happening. Provide age- appropriate information about the situation and answer their questions truthfully. Let them know that it's okay to feel scared or confused. Let them see how you are open to talking about all sorts of matters with no judgement.

• Establishing and maintaining a consistent daily routine can provide children with a sense of stability and predictability during uncertain times. Routine and family rituals are comforting to a child who needs to know their boundaries and limitations.

• Limit children's exposure to news coverage and social media discussions about the uncertain situation. Instead, provide updates and information in a calm and reassuring manner. Read newspapers with information that is appropriate to be read.

• Validate your child's feelings and emotions regularly, acknowledging that it's normal to feel scared, anxious, or uncertain during challenging times. Encourage them to express their feelings through talking, drawing, or writing them. Let them see how you manage your emotions and deal with unsettling situations. Be authentic.

• Help children focus on what they can control in the situation, such as practicing good hygiene, following safety guidelines, and engaging in activities that promote well-being. Empower them to take positive actions within their control. Talk about what is reasonable to be in their control.

• If a child can learn to problem solve they become independent learners. Teach children problem-solving skills and encourage them to brainstorm solutions to the challenges they are facing. Sometimes breaking down problems into smaller parts makes solutions easier to manage.

• Model self-care behaviours for your children by taking care of your own physical and emotional well-being. Let them see that you value personal care to nurture your self interests.

• Help children stay connected with friends and loved ones through virtual means, such as video calls, online games etc. Social connections can provide comfort and support during uncertain times. Remember it takes a village to bring up a child.

• Encourage resilience by highlighting examples of resilience in stories, movies, or real-life experiences. Help children recognize their own strengths and abilities to overcome challenges and bounce back from adversity. Affirm regularly their strengths when you notice them.

• If you notice signs of significant distress, don't hesitate to seek professional help from a counsellor, therapist, or mental health professional who specializes in working with children. Such help is readily available to families.

Let’s be optimistic and positive with our children letting them see that with good care and proper directions today’s world can be understood and managed. As a parent negotiating your own way through today’s world will be a challenge. However, with a little bit of reflection and care you can make such a difference for your child.

“Whilst we live in uncertain times, let’s be certain we value effective parenting
to make the difference for our children.”

— Gail J Smith

Supporting your child with homework and developing good study habits

Homework can be controversial in many teaching circles. However, if a child is given homework, it is important to support their efforts and let it be seen that extended learning from school is valued in your home and you will be a support.

Consider the following:

• Set aside a designated time and space for homework each day to create a consistent routine. This helps children develop a sense of structure and responsibility. Find a comfortable space for your child in which to complete the homework.

• Break down homework assignments into smaller, more manageable tasks. Encourage your child to focus on completing one task at a time. Sometimes they can be daunted by looking at the amount of work to do overnight or in a few days.

• Do not labour over homework tasks that the child is finding too difficult. Stress that they can discuss it with the teacher on the next day. After all the teacher set the homework.

• Create a quiet and organized study space free from distractions, such as television or electronic devices. Offer support and encouragement as needed, but encourage independence and problem-solving skills. Watch the time that the homework is completed. Doing homework when a child is tired or anxious

  is doomed for failure.

• Teach your child effective time management skills, such as prioritizing tasks, setting goals, and creating a homework schedule. Help them learn to plan their homework out well.

• Encourage your child to take regular breaks during homework sessions to rest and recharge. Encourage physical activity, proper nutrition, and adequate sleep to support overall well-being. Create an enjoyable atmosphere around homework time.

• Provide guidance and support when needed, but avoid completing assignments for your child. Encourage them to ask questions, seek clarification from teachers, and use available resources such as textbooks, websites, or tutoring services. Take care not to get in an argument about their completing homework when they are struggling with the activity. This is where you need teacher intervention.

• Encourage a growth mindset by praising effort, persistence, and improvement rather than focusing solely on grades or outcomes. Let their homework time be a time for learning in an inquiring way but with no tension.

• Celebrate your child's successes and achievements, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and motivation to continue working hard.

• Stay informed about your child's progress and any challenges they may be facing with homework. Communicate regularly with teachers to address concerns and seek additional support or resources if needed. Talk to their teacher about your child’s capacity to do the homework.

• Model good study habits and a positive attitude toward learning in your own behaviour. Let your child see you reading, learning, and problem-solving in your daily life. Perhaps you could sometimes have a quite study time while they are doing their homework

There are various professional opinions about the value of homework. Keep yourself optimistic when your child brings home work to complete. Let them see that learning is ongoing and not just between the school hours.

“Teach your child that learning happens all the time. Homework is merely one component of a very big picture.”

— Gail J Smith

The value of being positive around your child

We live in a world where we are constantly addressing mental health as it is such an interfering and common part of our society. Your child learns so much from you and it is amazing how your disposition can help your child see the world in a positive light.

Consider the following:

• When you portray yourself positively as a parent, your child learns a great deal. They like to copy you and see you in a very positive light.

• If you exhibit a positive presence as a parent, your child absorbs significant learning. They will want to imitate it and they will see how much better the world appears from that perspective.

• If you project positivity as a parent, your child picks up on important lessons. This is a great way of teaching optimism.

• If you see the world as a happy place in which to live that will influence their world.

• Being an optimistic around your child invites them to problem solve in an optimistic way rather than focusing on unsolvable problems

• It is a matter of conditioning your child to being positive. It’s a safer place in which to live.

• When your child adopts positivity it attracts people who enjoy life. Don’t forget to use laughter as part of your persona around your child. Laughter is a happy space in which to live.

• By demonstrating a positive disposition your child will be less anxious to approach you over matters that trouble them.

A bright happy parents who savours life is a mindful person who can teach their child to see the world as a hopeful place. What better mental health lesson can you find?

“Keep your eyes on the sun and you will not see the shadows”

— Aboriginal proverb

The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image

As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.

Consider the following suggestions:

• Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and

  behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about

  how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very

  comfortable in your skin.

• Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-

  acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather

  than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about

  yourself is so important.

• Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of

  nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and

  getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise

  self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body

  beautiful image.

• Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and

  how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical

  thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an

  important message.

• Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.

• Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about

  themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the

  joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or

  performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.

• Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels

  accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and

  provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make

  your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.

• Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,

  intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a

  strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than

  superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.

• Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative

  body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and

  influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave

  healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and

  hygiene.

• If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek

  professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image

  and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves

  especially when they enter teenage years.

Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!

“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”

— livesimplynatural

Build resilience in your child

As parents, from the very beginning, we see ourselves as the primary nurturer. We should also be seeing ourselves as the primary builder of resilience in our children. We want them to be strong, independent people, who can cope in life, without relying too heavily on us the parents. Sometimes, because we become cautious and anxious to ensure that our children are coping well, we forget about our role to strengthen their resilience and give them the skills they need to survive outside of the family cave.

Consider the following:

• Teach children how to identify problems, brainstorm solutions and take action to address challenges.

• Encourage them to think creatively and persistently seek solutions, even when faced with setbacks. Let them see that failure is part of life.

• Help children develop a growth mindset by emphasizing the power of positive thinking and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth. Encourage them to focus on their strengths. See life as an opportunity and stay focused on solving problems not being overcome by them.

• Create a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly and seeking support when needed. Offer empathy and encouragement. Let them see how possible it is for them to work through a successful process.

• Equip children with effective coping skills to manage stress, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and relaxation techniques. Encourage them to develop healthy outlets for expressing emotions, such as writing in diaries, art, or physical activity.

• Foster independence in children by encouraging them to take on age-appropriate

  responsibilities. Allow them to experience natural consequences and learn from their mistakes in a supportive environment.

• Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family members, friends, and other trusted adults who can serve as positive role models.. Your child needs all the positive help they can get.

• Expose children to stories of resilience through books, movies, and real-life examples. Highlight individuals who have overcome adversity and achieved success . Talk about them and especially their qualities.

• Focus on effort rather than outcomes and celebrate children's achievements, big and small. Praise their hard work, resilience, and perseverance. Celebrating the process not so much the results of the outcomes.

• Create a sense of belonging within the family and community by involving children in meaningful activities, traditions, and rituals. There are many charitable organizations with which they can engage themselves.

• Be a positive role model for resilience by demonstrating healthy coping strategies, and positive problem-solving skills. Show children that setbacks and failures are opportunities for growth and learning.

• When you are around your child be an optimistic person. Let them see that life is a hopeful experience. Moody environments can breed anxiety.

Be prepared to nurture independence in your child as this will be a major hallmark of strength for your child. Let them slowly engage with the world by themselves as this will gradually build strong resilience leading to a happier individual.

“Encouraging independence and building resilience in your child is a life saver”

— Gail J Smith

Teach mindfulness to your child

Teaching mindfulness is a powerful tool in overcoming the overstimulated world in which our children live. By offering slow and steady activities to your child where they recognize and sensitize to their environment can be nothing short of a helpful tool in coping with stress and the hectic world that children experience with such distractions as social media etc.

The following activities offer some relief from the busy world and teach your child to be sensitive to the moment.

• Take a few moments each day to practise deep breathing exercises with your child. Encourage them to notice the sensation of their breath as it enters and leaves their body, helping them anchor themselves in the present moment. This could be done at times that are built into routine such as before meals, at bedtime, before school etc.

• Engage in a mindful listening exercise with your child. Sit quietly together and listen carefully to various sounds in your environment, such as birds chirping or cars passing by. Discuss what you noticed afterwards, such as the different pitches or rhythms of the sounds. Great fun to do in the backyard, at parks, the beach etc.

• Practise mindful body scans with your child. Lie down together in a comfortable position and guide them through a relaxation exercise, focusing on each part of the body from head to toe. Encourage them to notice any sensations or feelings without judgement.

• Practise loving-kindness meditation with your child. Sit together in a comfortable position and guide them to silently repeat phrases of well-wishes for themselves and others, such as "May I be happy, may you be happy, may all beings be happy."

• Create a mindful art project with your child, such as colouring mandalas or painting rocks. Focus on the process rather than the end result, encouraging open conversation and exploration of thoughts and feelings during the activity. Come back later and talk about what you created and what it meant to you.

• Take a mindful nature walk with your child. Explore your surroundings together, noticing the colours, textures, and smells of the natural world around you. Encourage your child to engage their senses and appreciate the beauty of the outdoors. The local park can do the job as well.

• Cooking can be a mindful experience as you mix food together and reflect on the texture and feel of the ingredients as they morph into a new food. Also follow up with a mindful time of enjoying the various flavours.

• Music is a great vehicle for mindful activities. Lie together on the floor and just

  take in the music. Let the child enjoy their music as well as other music you may introduce.

Mindfulness is all about learning to savour the moment and to appreciate and be sensitive to what is happening around you. In our world of over stimulation, it is wonderful to introduce to our children, the art of slowing down and simply smelling the roses. One they feel the advantage they will adopt the principal themselves. Here you give them a great new life source.

“Wake up to what’s around you and savour the moment with your child.”

— Gail J Smith

Helping your child learn to read

Recent surveys have claimed that one in three children are struggling to read. Without the gift of reading, life for a child begins to shut down and their connection to all that happens at school is limited. Confidence declines rapidly and personal self worth suffers as well. A child who cannot read is very much a disadvantaged child.

There are many way you can help your child to read. There are many styles of teaching reading and as the parent you can make quite a difference to your child’s ability to read.

Consider the following:

• Be a reader yourself. Model the fact that you enjoy reading and it is important in your life.

• Place books, journal articles all around the house. Make it visible that reading is a way of life. Make it a print rich home. There are some tools in technology that can help.

• Read to your child each day. Most parents enjoy reading at bedtime as it is such a warm and inviting time to be around your child. Ask question when reading a book. Listen to their answers and talk about the interesting words.

• Read segments out of the newspaper and ask your child to cut out letters and words. This can be a fun activity.

• Have a word a day or a week that you learn and use together as a family.

• Play scrabble with your child or other word games that are available. There are many resources in this area.

• Invite your child to read to you. Sometimes a family can have a book they are reading together. Each night at dinner perhaps each child reads a little.

• Label in your young child’s room all the objects you can see. This could be bed, table, lamp etc. have fun with your child learning all the words. Play games to memorize high frequency words.

• There are some excellent phonetic charts that you can get in various educational stores. Display these around the house and refer to them from time to time.

• For younger children use songs and nursery rhymes to build phonetic awareness.

• Play word games in the car or at home.

• Letter magnets are fun with younger children.

• There are some tools in technology that can help where children are regularly rewarded for completing activities.

• Make it fun but keep up the fun regularly. The school is working hard using their initiatives and skill to formally teach reading. Your job is to support their work and tap into the teacher to see if they have any recommendations to specifically support your child.

“Once you can read you are liberated from ignorance and can breathe in new life at each read.”

— Gail J Smith

Understanding difficult behaviour

Parenting has many aspects to it. However, one of the most complex aspects is dealing with difficult behaviour. It will happen from time to time and as a parent it is all about what you tolerate and what you believe is acceptable behaviour. One of the very best things you can do is to teach your child to behave well. Your modelling and teaching is vital in this area.

Let’s consider how difficult behaviour can manifest itself:

• Children with high activity or are clearly unsettled are more likely to misbehave

• Sometimes it’s all about attention seeking.

• Perhaps getting their own way is important to them.

• Sometimes revenge to show how angry they are.

• A child will model bad behaviour from other children.

• It can happen when guidelines are unclear at home.

• Some children need to be specifically taught the correct behaviour.

• When a child is stressed. Difficult behaviour can be an outcome.

These are only a few examples of why poor behaviour can happen. Consider tackling the difficult behaviour in the following way:

• Listen effectively to what they have to say. This is active listening.

• Then talk about ways to address their concerns.

• Some negotiation may be need. Work together on this plan.

• Then together think about a resolution which may involve consequences for the child. This is real problem solving.

• Check in later after action has been taken and affirm your child for going through the process.

Prevention is better than cure so think about why the problem behaviour has occurred. The more you understand, the less problems will continue to evolve.

“When you catch their good behaviour, reward well. It’s the best antidote to misbehaviour.”

— Gail J Smith

Building confidence in your child

From the moment a child is born there will be small signs of seeking independence. Perhaps ever so subtle but none the less there is a definite presence of wanting to be independent. As parents our role is to be the nurturer and provide safety and security for our child. For a parent, letting go of your responsibility can be difficult. Research tells us, that as a child reaches out for more independence, we demonstrate better parenting, if we gently walk with them as they take steps to strengthen their personal growth. There are many reasons why being alongside your child as they take independent steps is a mature way of parenting. Consider:

• Developing independence empowers children to believe in themselves and their abilities. As they accomplish tasks on their own, they gain confidence in their skills and decision-making capabilities. There is nothing like feeling successful when taking a new independent step.

• Independence fosters problem-solving skills. When children face challenges independently, they learn to think critically, adapt to new situations, and find creative solutions. They understand that they must rely on themselves and this does not frighten them.

• Learning to be independent instils a sense of responsibility in children. They understand the consequences of their actions and take ownership of tasks, fostering accountability and self-reliance. They will try different solutions to problems and not be intimidated by an occasional failure.

• Independence allows children to make decisions and choices on their own. Through these experiences, they learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and develop sound decision-making abilities. There is nothing more liberating than making your own decisions.

• Independence encourages self-reliance. Children become more resourceful and resilient as they learn to depend on themselves to accomplish tasks and overcome obstacles. They will ask questions but not expect to be given the answer.

• Developing independence prepares children for adulthood. By learning essential life skills and becoming self-sufficient, they gain the confidence and competence to thrive in the responsibilities of adulthood. Little by little they step into an adult world, well prepared with less surprises.

• Independence contributes to building healthy relationships. Children who are independent are better able to communicate their needs, assert boundaries, and engage in mutually respectful interactions with others. This is all about developing emotional maturity.

• Independence fosters a spirit of exploration and creativity. When children have the freedom to pursue their interests and ideas independently, they are more likely to discover new passions and talents. They become better risk takers and enjoy the challenge.

• Developing independence helps children form their own identity. As they make choices and pursue interests that align with their values and preferences, they gain a clearer sense of who they are and what they stand for. A child with such confidence will attract like minded children. This makes for forming healthy relationships.

In my experience as school principal, it was always the case that children who were given opportunities to demonstrate independence appeared happy and self assured. They engaged with all sorts of peers and were comfortable in many settings.

“Building independence in your child is all about sound parenting.”

— Gail J Smith

The Magic of Creative Thinking

Encouraging your child to be creative is such a critical part of their development. Remember, being creative is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about failure. It is all about the ability to express oneself in an open uncompromised way. Encouraging your child to be creative can be in many forms. It can be through art, plays, drama, music etc. It is all about the child expressing themselves and feeling satisfied that they find ways to do just that, be expressive!

• Encouraging your child's creativity is like unlocking a magical door to their imagination. It lets them explore new worlds of ideas, making everyday life more enchanting and filled with possibilities. Be open to all their ideas and place no judgement on their efforts.

• Creative activities are like giving your child a pair of confidence wings. As they let their creativity soar, they discover their own abilities and gain the self-assurance to take on new challenges. They become real risk takers.

• Creativity is an exciting adventure in the land of problem-solving. It's like giving your child a treasure map to navigate challenges, encouraging them to discover clever solutions with a spirit of curiosity. It also takes away the fear of failure.

• Creativity is like having a playground for the imagination. It lets your child swing from the heights of their dreams, slide into new possibilities, and build castles of ideas in the ever-expansive world of their own imagination.

• Creative activities offer your child an expressive color palette for their emotions. It's like painting a canvas with feelings, allowing them to express the vibrant hues of joy, the deep shades of introspection, and the bright tones of excitement.

• Fostering creativity is like packing a picnic basket of innovation for your child's future. It equips them with a delightful array of inventive snacks, ensuring they're ready to feast on fresh ideas and contribute uniquely to the ever-evolving feast of life.

“The power of imagination will be a driving force for your child’s creative process”

— Gail Smith

Learning to be tolerant around your child

In busy households with so much happening it is easy to lose your patience with your child. After all we are human and there are certain things that push our buttons. If we learn to be more tolerant around our child such modelling will reflect in the way our children treat us and others. There is much to be said about showing tolerance to our child.

• We live in a global world. Practizing tolerance helps children appreciate and embrace diversity. It fosters an understanding that people come from different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives, enriching their worldview.

• Tolerance teaches children compassion and empathy. When they learn to accept and respect others, they are more likely to show kindness and understanding in their interactions. So your modelling of tolerance will mean that you demonstrate compassion and empathy.

• Tolerant individuals tend to have stronger social skills. Teaching children tolerance helps them navigate diverse social environments, communicate effectively, and build positive relationships.

• Tolerance challenges and reduces prejudiced attitudes and stereotypes. It encourages children to see individuals for who they are rather than making assumptions based on superficial characteristics. Your example of treating everyone well will make a difference to your child’s perception of how to operate around different people

• Tolerance contributes to the creation of inclusive communities. When children learn to appreciate differences, they actively contribute to fostering an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.

• In a tolerant learning environment, children feel more comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their ideas. This openness enhances the overall educational experience and encourages creativity. Your home should embrace tolerance which makes for a safe environment.

• Tolerance is a key factor in preventing bullying and conflict. When children understand and accept each other's differences, there is less room for negative behaviours based on prejudice or discrimination. Children don't go looking for differences when they are open to accepting others.

• In an increasingly globalized world, tolerance is a crucial skill. Children who learn to appreciate and respect diversity are better prepared to navigate an interconnected and multicultural society. Our children need to understand the bigger world

• Tolerance contributes to the development of emotional intelligence. Children learn to manage their emotions in response to diverse situations, fostering resilience and adaptability. They see the world from a more mature perspective.

A home where there is tolerance is a safe haven for a child. If a child feels that they will be given space to talk about their concerns they are more likely to talk more openly and comfortably about what is on their mind.

“To build tolerance, practise breathing slowly before dealing with confronting issues. Space makes all the difference.”

— Gail J Smith

Be available to listen to your child at this early stage of the school year

At this early stage of the school year it is most important to be a good listener to your child. There will be the usual challenges and adjustments with a new classroom teacher and a different culture of children in a class. They need to have your ear when they come home. Some reasons for effective listening are listed below. You may identify with some as only you know how your child responds to change.

• Being a good listener builds trust between you and your child. Once trust is established they will talk more about their deep concerns. They will safe to talk.

• By actively listening, you can understand any concerns or anxieties your child may have about the new school year. Addressing these concerns helps them feel supported.

• Listening attentively to your child's thoughts and feelings promotes their emotional well-being. It provides a safe space for them to express themselves, reducing stress and fostering a positive mindset.

• Effective listening helps you identify your child's needs, whether they're related to schoolwork, social interactions, or personal challenges. This allows you to provide appropriate support and guidance. It is different for every child.

• When you listen well you will actually be surprised at what you hear. Then asking simple questions may help get to the bottom of the problem sooner.

• When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their confidence. Knowing that their opinions and experiences matter encourages them to engage more actively in school and other social situations. Sometimes just talking it through is enough!

• Actively listening to your child strengthens the bond between you. It creates a sense of connection and security, making them more likely to turn to you for guidance and support. That is the right place for your child to get the support.

• Understanding your child's thoughts about school allows you to provide targeted support for their academic success. You can address any challenges they may be facing and work together on solutions.

• When you get into the habit of listening well your child will expect nothing less. However the reward is the richness of conversation that develops.

• A child who feels vulnerable in talking about their concerns will only disclose if they are genuinely listened to in a safe and trusting environment. Know your child’s needs.

• Time is needed to be an active listener. You cannot do it on the run. Allow time when your child needs to talk.

At this early stage of the year is it a good idea to be readily available to listen to your child. They may need that comfortable ear.

“When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly”

— Gail J Smith

Building stronger relationships with your child

There is no right way to build stronger relationships with your child. There are many ideas and suggestions. Here are a few suggestions that may help.

Quality Time Tokens: Create "Quality Time Tokens" – special cards or tokens that kids can use to request dedicated one-on-one time with a parent for activities they enjoy. This can be fun in the making.

Story Sharing Sessions: Initiate regular "Story Sharing Sessions" where both parent and child take turns sharing anecdotes, dreams, or stories from their day. It promotes communication and strengthens bonds. Great to do this at dinner time or bedtime

Involvement in Their World: Engage in "Their World" by showing interest in their hobbies, favourite shows, or games. It demonstrates care and understanding of their interests. Accept all their ideas and take care not to place judgements on their suggestions.

Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a "Gratitude Jar Ritual" by jotting down things you're grateful for about each other. Read these notes together periodically to foster appreciation and connection.

Decision-Making Together: Involve children in "Family Decision-Making" by allowing them to contribute ideas or have a say in certain family choices. It promotes a sense of responsibility and value in their opinions.

The above thoughts are simple suggestions to keep up the task of building better relationships with your child. Every family is different. You may already have some fun and endearing ways of building a unique relationship with your child.

‘Your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job: It’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.’

James Lehman

Managing children’s behaviour

Behaviour of children varies from time to time. Often the reasons for the behaviour are hard to work out and need time and patience spent with the child. Other times it can be simple to resolve and as the parent you move on quickly.

Here are some positive cues to help set the scene enabling your child to cope better when behaviour is poor. It also gives you a greater capacity to manage the situation and reduce the impact on parent and child.

1. A positive happy home environment

   A positive happy home environment where the child feels safe and secure is an excellent setting for a child to feel that problems are solvable. Lots of smiles, laughter and  attention will make a difference. Keep the home environment warm and welcoming.

2.  Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement

   Focus on Positive Behaviour: Acknowledge and praise good behaviour to reinforce it. Encouragement helps children understand what is expected and reinforces their positive actions. Positive behaviour is the key to teaching your child how to deal with matters.

3.  Consistent Rules and Expectations

   Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries: Establish clear rules and expectations. Consistency is key—when children know what is expected, it helps them understand limits and fosters a sense of security. Teach behaviours that you want to be  present. Demonstrate and reward your child when you see good behaviour. Provide a good example for the child to copy.

4.  Effective Communication and Active Listening

   Listen and Communicate: Encourage open communication. Listen actively to understand their perspective and feelings. Communicate calmly and explain reasons behind rules or consequences. Remain calm and consistent in the way you engage with your child.

5.  Use of Logical Consequences

   Apply Logical and Proportionate Consequences: Consequences should be related to the behaviour and age-appropriate. Logical consequences help children understand the impact of their actions without being punitive. Be clear in how you talk about these consequences. Model Behaviour and Teach Problem-Solving

   Leading by Example: Children often emulate the behaviour they observe. Model the behaviour you wish to see in them, including problem-solving skills and managing emotions effectively.

If you adopt the belief that children’s behaviour is exactly that...child-like, you will begin to put things into perspective. They will, from time to time, challenge your authority and demand their needs be met. By being consistent and caring in the way you deal with such matters, you will make all the difference to their emotional growth.

‘A parent who has a positive outlook on life passes on a happy message to their child.’

-Gail J Smith

Help your child have a great start to the school year

It is different experience for every child and of course the child's order in the family will impact on how a child adjusts to school. Every child though will experience some anxiety mixed with excitement as they begin a new year. As a parent, there are some actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know that you are sharing this time together. Connect well and early in the year with the school.

Routine is important

Set a consistent daily routine that includes a regular wake-up time, meal schedule, and bedtime. Routines provide stability and help children feel more secure as they start school. Children need their boundaries and rituals.

Keep the conversation going

Foster open communication with your child. Ask about their day, listen actively and be supportive. This helps them feel comfortable sharing their experiences and concerns. Try not to probe with too many questions.

Set up a homework space for your child

Designate a quiet and organized space for homework. Having a dedicated area fosters concentration and helps your child establish good study habits. Get them involved in choosing and setting up this space.

Start giving them independent tasks

Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. This builds a sense of independence and helps them develop essential life skills. School will be teaching about being independent learners.

Keep the balance at home

Emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and stays active. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Perhaps they can help create their own nutritious lunch box.

Connect well and early in the year with the school

Establish a positive relationship with your child's teachers. Attend parent-teacher meetings, stay informed about school activities, and collaborate with educators to support your child's learning. Simply be in touch regularly.

Celebrate special moments along the way

Celebrate both big and small achievements. Positive reinforcement encourages your child's efforts and boosts their confidence as they navigate the challenges of school.

Build social stamina in your child

Encourage your child to make new friends and be kind to others. Developing social skills is an essential aspect of their overall growth and well-being.

Learning to be adaptable

Acknowledge that starting school may bring changes and challenges. Be patient, offer reassurance, and help your child adapt to the new environment. Talk about how change can be a positive thing.

Being involved helps your child adapt to school

Stay involved in your child's education. Attend school events, volunteer when possible, and stay informed about their progress. Your active involvement reinforces the importance of education in their life. Children learn with a lot more enthusiasm when they know you value education.

Never underestimate the difference you make to a child’s settling into school. Your reassurance and presence gives them a feeling of being safe and not dealing with the adjustment on their own. They grow stronger from your encouragement and presence.

“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.”

— B B King

Dealing with children's preschool jitters

By now children are starting to talk about going back to school. It can be exciting, but for some it can trigger anxieties about making a new start in a new classroom and forming friends. In the usual banter that goes on amongst children, they discuss what it will be like to be in a new classroom. It is therefore a wise idea to put a few things in place now to ease some of that beginning school tension.

Consider:

• Talk about how you look forward to meeting the new teacher and talk positively about what you may have heard about them.

• Sometimes walking around the school if your child is young just to familiarize themselves about playgrounds and happy spaces for them.

• Many families are buying items for school. Involve your child in choosing these items and have fun putting their school bag together. Talk about a few treats that might be part of this year's plan in the school bag.

• Invite school friends around so that your child can reacquaint themselves with friends.

• Start talking about the year's plan. This will be a reminder to your child that it is all about a balance between school time, sport and family recreation.

• If a new uniform is required, involve your child in shopping for it and showing it toother family members. Encourage them her to feel proud and excited about their new uniform.

• If your child talks anxiously about finding new friends, chat about how it worked last year and how they found friends after some time. Also mention that teachers work on ensuring the class bonds early into the term.

• Listen carefully to how they talk about school and if worried you can always approach the school and teachers before the year begins.

• Be available in the first few weeks of school as this can be helpful to your child who has just spent all the summer holidays with you.

• Begin adjusting bedtime and wake-up time a week or two before school starts to ensure a smooth transition. Also create a consistent morning routine that includes time for breakfast, getting dressed, and preparing for the day.

• Celebrate small achievements and successes throughout the first weeks of school.

• Positive reinforcement can boost your child's confidence early in the year. Let your child know that they can always talk to you about their experiences. Talk about how you are available to listen if they feel the need.

• Encourage a positive mindset by highlighting the enjoyable aspects of school, such as seeing friends, learning new things and engaging in fun activities. Keep the positive talk happening before school starts.

The school year is about to begin. The family wheels are in motion and there is much to coordinate before that first school bell rings. If you just gradually ease into the school year and feel that preparation is well underway, you will be much happier and satisfied that you are in control.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

— Sun Tzu

Think about having one-on-one time with your children

We are starting to reflect on what lies ahead for 2024. In your planning consider allocating some individual time for each of your children. Providing such time gives your child a wonderful sense of being important in their own right. It will make quite a difference in building that relationship with each child as they can express their uniqueness and feel their story is being heard. It also lessens sibling rivalry, which can be quite damaging amongst children.

Think about these reflections that provide sound reasons why one on one time with each child has its value for you and your child.

Special Connection: One-on-one time creates a special connection between you and your child. It makes them feel valued and loved for who they are as an individual..

Open Communication: It encourages open communication, helping your child feel comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings. Being on their own with you invites them to talk more openly about matters that are important to them.

Boosts Confidence: Individual attention boosts their confidence, showing them that their uniqueness is celebrated. They are not competing with their siblings who may have a stronger personality and can express themselves more confidently..

Tailored Support: It allows for tailored support, addressing specific needs and interests that might get overlooked in a group setting. With each child you will hear about their specific hopes and dreams.

Strengthens Bonds: One-on-one time strengthens the parent-child bond, building a foundation of trust and understanding. Your child will feel better understood and therefore more keen to engage with you on important matters.

A family can be a noisy, bustling space where stronger temperaments get heard quickly and where some children may have greater needs to be met, physical or emotional. Giving each child some regular one on one time provides some personal safe space in which each child can be themselves and feel personally connected in a deeper way to their parents.

“We can empathize with our children more deeply when we give them one on one time.”

— Gail J Smith

New year’s resolutions that are fun and enjoyable to do with your child

Who really sets new years goals and sticks to them? Certainly the idea of reflecting on change and general improvement is a great idea and we all look forward to new experiences that lighten our load and improve relationships. Here are some fun suggestions that may get you thinking about new ways to engage with your growing child throughout the year we have just commenced.

Consider:

Daily Dose of Laughter: Resolve to bring more laughter into each day, whether it's through silly jokes, funny stories, or playful activities that create joyous moments.

Tech-Free Family Time: Commit to designated tech-free hours where the focus is on quality family time —playing games, having conversations, or enjoying outdoor activities without electronic distractions.

Adventure Jar: Create an adventure jar filled with fun and spontaneous family activities. Each week, pick a new adventure from the jar to keep things exciting and create lasting memories.

Parent-Child Date Nights: Schedule regular one-on-one date nights with each child, allowing for individualized attention and opportunities to bond over shared activities or outings.

Random Acts of Kindness Together: Make a resolution to perform random acts of kindness as a family, spreading positivist and reinforcing the importance of compassion and generosity.

Storytelling Extravaganza: Start a storytelling tradition where each family member takes turns creating and sharing imaginative stories. This fosters creativity and strengthens the family narrative.

Secret Family Handshake: Develop a secret family handshake or high-five that's unique to your clan, adding an element of fun and connection to daily interactions.

Family Photo Challenges: Create monthly photo challenges where each family member contributes pictures based on a theme, promoting creativity and providing a visual chronicle of the year.

Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a gratitude jar where everyone can drop notes expressing gratitude for each other. Read the notes together on special occasions for a heartwarming family ritual.

DIY Art Gallery: Transform a wall or designated space into a DIY art gallery where everyone's artistic creations are proudly displayed. It's a fun way to appreciate each other's unique talents and expressions.

Nature Explorer Weekends: Plan weekends dedicated to exploring nature together. Whether it's hiking, picnicking, or bird-watching, these outdoor adventures provide opportunities for shared discoveries and relaxation.

Each new year will bring challenges, excitement and new experiences into the family. By adding a little extra enjoyment and family gathering time in some form you lighten the heavy load of parenting and continue to strengthen lasting bonds with your child. It's amazing how a little bit of extra joy can enrich the family.

“When we set goals we believe in ongoing improvement. That’s got to make things a little better.”

— Gail J Smith

The value of building independence in our children

Doing things for our children is a natural part of our role as parents. We do know however that the more we encourage independence in our children, the faster they learn and the more confidence they gain in themselves. Sometimes giving more independence can be scary as they may take risks, venture into the unknown without you and discover new horizons on their own.

Be that as it may, you want your child to be slowly and steadily finding their own way, forging their own direction. Consider the following reasons why encouraging independence with your child is a sign of good parenting.

Teaching Independence builds Confidence and Self-Esteem: Teaching independence allows children to accomplish tasks on their own, fostering a sense of achievement. As they successfully navigate challenges independently, their confidence and self-esteem naturally grow, laying a strong foundation for a positive self-image. The more confident a child becomes, the quicker they learn.

Being independent promotes Problem-Solving Skills: Encouraging independence requires children to think critically and problem-solve. When they face challenges without immediate assistance, they learn to analyze situations, make decisions, and find solutions, honing valuable problem-solving skills that will benefit them throughout life. They learn to make mistakes and move on quickly.

Independence fosters Responsibility and Accountability: Independence goes hand-in-hand with responsibility. When children are entrusted with age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities, they learn to take ownership of their actions. This sense of accountability contributes to the development of a responsible and conscientious mindset. From an early age you can teach your child to be responsible whether its sorting toys, cleaning rooms or managing money, it all counts.

Independence encourages Initiative and Creativity: Independent children are more likely to take initiative and explore their interests. By allowing them the freedom to pursue activities on their own, you nurture a spirit of curiosity and creativity. This independence encourages them to discover their passions and express their unique selves without interference.

Independence prepares for Future Challenges: Teaching independence equips children with essential life skills necessary for adulthood. From basic self-care tasks to decision-making and time management, independent children are better prepared to face the challenges of adolescence and adulthood. This preparation instils resilience and adaptability, essential qualities for navigating the complexities of life. The world they grow into is far different from their parent’s world and will require a new set of skills in certain areas.

Just as a child grows and changes, so too should our parenting. We need to evolve as a parent and recognize that our child will gradually seek independence. We demonstrate understanding by supporting their independence and respecting their choices and we are happy to work with them as we gradually remove ourselves, as dependency on us decreases.

“Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger.”

— Gail J Smith

Listening to your children is incredibly important for several reasons

We all need to feel heard. We need to express our needs to gain help. Children get the support they need by being listened to from a caring and patient parent. Consider the following reasons why active listening is so important:

Building Trust and Connection: When you listen attentively to your children, it strengthens the bond between you. It shows them that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter, creating a foundation of trust and openness in your relationship. Children feel safer when being really listened to effectively.

Developing Healthy Communication Skills: By actively listening, you teach your children the importance of effective communication. They learn how to express themselves, articulate their thoughts, and engage in meaningful conversations. Children enjoy being around a child that listens well. They feel reassured and valued.

Boosting Self-Esteem and Confidence: When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their self- esteem. It gives them the confidence to express themselves without fear of judgement, nurturing their sense of self-worth. Being truly heard means that you value that person and believe that what they have to say has credibility.

Understanding Their World: Listening to your children helps you understand their world better. It provides insights into their interests, concerns, and challenges, allowing you to offer guidance and support tailored to their needs. You form better relationships with your child when you understand and appreciate their world.

Building Emotional Intelligence: Listening well nurtures emotional intelligence in children. They learn to identify and express their emotions, leading to better self-regulation and empathy towards others.

Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills: Active listening teaches children problem-solving skills. By allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings, they learn to analyze situations and find solutions independently. This is all about believing in themselves and having trusting people around them that listen.

Strengthening Parent-Child Relationship: When children feel heard and valued, it strengthens the parent-child relationship. It creates a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their joys and concerns, leading to a deeper connection.

Setting the tone of conversation: When you listen well you are often calm and talk in a comfortable, unstressed manner. This sets the scene for a relaxed and peaceful chat that has value to your child.

By setting up a culture of listening well to your child, you set the scene for an environment where conversation is encouraged and where everyone feels valued and makes contributions.

“Listen well to your child. They will return this compliment later.”

— Gail Smith