The value of spending time and having fun with your child

Having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships. Positive memories of childhood are often seen through those wonderful relaxed times, with no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company. Consider the following thoughts that give good reasons why this is valuable time spent in the company of your child.

1. Building Strong Emotional Bonds

   Emotional Connection:

   Spending quality time creates a strong emotional bond between you and your child. It fosters trust and security, which is essential for their emotional development. There is nothing more exhilarating than simply playing with your child.

2.  Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence

   Boosting Self-Esteem:

   Engaging in fun activities with your child helps them feel valued and important. Positive interactions and shared experiences contribute to building their self-esteem and confidence. They feel secure and confident that they are valued and that your time with them is precious.

3. Enhancing Communication and Understanding

   Open Communication:

   Quality time together often leads to better communication. It offers opportunities for meaningful conversations and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and interests. You are more inclined to listen to each other and to be less intimidated by what they have to say.

4.  Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-being

   Reducing Stress and Anxiety:

   Fun activities and shared experiences can reduce stress and anxiety, both for the child and the parent. Laughter and play contribute to a positive emotional state. The less stress the better and safer the environment for the child. We think more clearly and act more responsibly when less stressed.

5.  Creating Lasting Memories and Values

   Building Memories and Values:

   The time spent together creates lasting memories that your child will cherish. It also helps instil important values, such as the significance of relationships and having fun in life. Never underestimate the imprint you make as your child builds their tapestry of memories. It is well known that happy spontaneous moments can easily become life long memories.

We sometimes can become preoccupied with providing full on activities and experiences for our children. Remember that for them images of being together with you, relaxed and happy is the key to sharing lasting joy together. One of my most vivid and happy childhood memories is my grandmother putting a red tea towel on her head and doing a Spanish dance around the kitchen.

I was six!

 ‘Have fun with your child. There is much to gain for both of you.’

 - Gail J Smith

Speaking well to children

It’s amazing! What we say can have such an impact on our children. Our tone of voice, volume, even speed of speaking can send messages to our children. They are always looking for cues and clues in how you speak to determine how emotionally safe they are and to feel reassured. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.

When we use encouraging and positive words, it helps your child feel good about themselves. They grow up feeling confident and sure of who they are. Everyone likes and needs to hear positive talk about themselves.

 Speaking kindly builds a beautiful bond between you and your child. It's like wrapping them in a warm, comforting hug. It helps them know they're loved and understood.

 When we talk to them with love and respect, it creates a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. In that space they will come to you more often, especially when anxious about matters.

 Using gentle words helps them learn how to express themselves better. It's like giving them a key to open the door to clear and easy conversations. They will model your style of language and feel very comfortable in a style that is built around caring words.

 When we use uplifting words, it's like planting seeds of confidence in their hearts. They start believing in themselves and become their own biggest fans. Personal self worth grows stronger around comfortable speech.

 Fostering a Cozy Nest: Using gentle words wraps them in a cozy blanket of security and love. It's like creating a safe haven where they feel accepted and cherished.

 Sowing Seeds of Kindness: By speaking with warmth, we teach them the power of kindness and respect. They grow to prefer that way of speaking and adopt it comfortably themselves.

How we talk to our children is a direct statement about how we value and respect them. When feeling unsure and unsettled try walking away and saying nothing until you are calmer. It makes such a difference to the outcome.

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

— Peggy O'Mara

Encourage creativity in our children

Einstein once said: Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.

All great learners were creative. They experimented with ideas, challenged their thoughts, looked outside the square and developed a vision of what they wanted to achieve. As a parent you can find many ways to develop your child’s creativity and of course encourage them to follow their passions. The thoughts below are a guide to reflecting on how creativity can be a major driving force of learning for your child.

Creativity encourages Inquisitiveness and Exploration
Creativity sparks curiosity, prompting children to explore and question the world around them. Let them ask those important questions.

A child encouraged to ask "What if?" might explore science experiments, leading to a lifelong interest in discovery and learning. There is no room for self doubt with creativity.

Creativity develops Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving Skills
Creative activities challenge children to think critically and solve problems, essential skills for effective learning.

Building with blocks or solving a puzzle encourages creative problem-solving, laying the foundation for analytical thinking. Play games with your child and encourage different types of formal learning such as chess, dominoes etc.

Creativity fosters a Love for Learning
Creative pursuits make learning enjoyable, fostering a love for discovering new things. This is all about following those passions that drive your interest

Engaging in imaginative storytelling or creative writing can make literature and language exciting, creating a positive association with learning. Encourage your child with reading.

Creativity enhances Communication and Expression
Creative activities provide children with various avenues to express themselves, improving communication skills. Think about how wonderful drama is to enrich the spirit.

Drawing, painting, or even acting out stories allows children to convey their thoughts and feelings, enhancing their ability to communicate effectively. Allow your child to sing, dance, recite invent plays etc. It is all about being creative.

Creativity promotes Adaptability and Resilience

Creativity encourages adaptability and resilience by teaching children to approach challenges with an open mind. They should not be afraid of failure but see it as an opportunity to rethink.

When faced with a setback, a child accustomed to creative problem-solving might see it as an opportunity to try a different approach. In fact they enjoy the challenge looking at alternative ways of thinking..

If our children are encouraged to explore and to see the world through creative eyes, they will be creators, innovators, leaders etc. Creativity gives you the confidence to think freely and to take risks in learning that can lead you into new directions. Be the parent that invites creativity into the life of your child. They will be happier and richer for the experience.

‘Creativity is intelligence having fun’

-Albert Einstein

Enjoyable reasons to rest and celebrate family after Christmas:

Enough is enough. You have had a busy year. Now it’s time to savour those rolling days of summer with your family. Consider the ideas below to enrich those family experiences.

Exploring New Adventures: Post-Christmas holidays are a perfect time for spontaneous adventures. It's like setting sail on an unplanned journey, discovering hidden gems in your own backyard or exploring nearby attractions. Find the new feeling to holidays.

Creating. Crafty Fun: Get crafty and unleash creativity with family projects. It's like an artsy workshop, where you turn leftover wrapping paper into handmade cards or transform pine cones into adorable decorations.

Appreciating Slow Mornings: Enjoy lazy mornings without rush or schedules. It's like savouring a hot cup of cocoa while wearing pyjamas until noon – relishing those precious moments of peacefulness. Simply slow down.

Reflecting on the year past: Have fun talking about the adventures, mishaps and funny moments of the last year. It is good to reflect as it helps you think about plans and goals for the new year.

Playing games together: When you are well rested you are more inclined to play together and enjoy those relaxed happy moments. You will laugh more and be a little mindful of the precious times you are spending together as a family.

“Roll out those lazy, hazy crazy days of Summer”

— Song by Nat King Cole

Let’s bring the warmth of Christmas into our family

These reflections are about how you can keep the spirit of Christmas alive in the family. Some may spark ideas which are unique for your family.

Creating Lasting Memories: Embrace the opportunity to create lasting memories with your children during this festive season. Laugh, enjoy each other’s company and play together.

Nurturing Traditions: Embrace and cherish family traditions that bring joy and unity. This could be about decorating the tree or cooking traditions. It doesn’t matter how simple and uncomplicated the rituals are just own them as your own.

Fostering Gratitude and Generosity: Talk about those people that have had an impact on you this year. Encourage lots of thank yous and recognition of other people’s efforts in your life.

Embracing Togetherness: Embrace the joy of being together as a family. This is the time to spend mote time together. It can be idle time or coordinated. It’s about the quality of time spent together that matters.

Finding Peace and Reflection: Amidst the hustle and bustle, take moments for peaceful reflection. Enjoy having some mental space and let go of some unresolved matters. Free yourself up mentally over Christmas. You need that respite.

Cultivating Hope and Optimism: Adopt a happy disposition and talk hopefully about the new year. Let your child feel that all the effort made throughout the year is worth it.

Embracing Simplicity and Graciousness: Embrace simplicity and graciousness in celebrations. It's not about extravagance but about the love and warmth shared among family and friends.

Teaching the Joy of Giving: Teach your children the joy of giving. Whether it's through small gestures or volunteering, instill the joy of making a positive difference in somebody's life. There are many charity organization out and about at the moment and needing assistance.

Treasuring the Present Moments: So much fun and happy moments can happen over these relaxing times. Enjoy it all. Look for those spontaneous moments of joy.

Sharing Family Stories: Share family stories and anecdotes from your own childhood or heritage. These stories help connect generations and instill a sense of belonging and pride in family history.

The list above is not meant to be onerous. Just think about the uniqueness of your family and use opportunities to embrace each other and celebrate what makes you special.

We wish all families a merry Christmas

Christmas Home Decorations - Rituals And Happy Memories

There is magic in Christmas for all children. Fantasy, dreams and excitement mount. The build up brings incredible joy and imaginations run rife. When the family decorates the tree and house in bright lights and colours, the home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas has so much long term value for your child.

Creativity and expression at Christmas time
Engaging in Christmas decorations encourages creativity and self-expression among children. They get to choose colours, designs, and arrangements, fostering their imaginative skills and allowing them to express themselves freely through decoration choices. This creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to channel emotions and thoughts positively. They will not forget the ritual of setting up the Christmas tree

Bonding and Togetherness
Decorating as a family cultivates a sense of togetherness and strengthens family bonds. Working together towards a shared goal, discussing decoration ideas, and collaborating on various aspects of decoration builds a sense of unity, fostering positive relationships. Memories are created from doing such fun family activities. The more involved they are the better.

Joy and Positive Emotions
The process of decorating for Christmas brings joy and excitement. The anticipation of the holiday season, the colourful lights, and cheerful decorations contribute to a positive atmosphere that can uplift spirits, reduce stress, and evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. It's all a positive time to feel good.

A Sense of Tradition and Belonging
Engaging in Christmas decorating traditions instils a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than oneself. Participating in these rituals and customs, passed down through generations, gives children a sense of identity, continuity, and stability, contributing to their emotional well-being. Never underestimate the importance of routine.

Mindfulness and appreciation
Decorating with the spirit of Christmas encourages mindfulness and appreciation for the present moment. Children learn to appreciate the beauty in small things, focusing on the joy of the activity and the happiness it brings rather than the material aspects.

Christmas can mean many things to different people. Above all it is about coming together and celebrating in some form. It is recognised as a reflective time for families and it can have an amazing calming and mentally stabilising effect for children. It is way of putting closure on the year and bringing together in a warm, comforting way all the feelings, emotions, experiences, joys and maybe sorrows that have been experienced and shared over the year.

Merry Christmas to all families in all shapes and forms.

Why formal education is so important

From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. It is also true to say that some people do not have fond memories of school and sadly there are sound reasons why that was the case. However, I am very much all for the advantages of formal learning sitting of course alongside the journey of learning that you the parents provide. When we have our doubts about formal school think about the following thoughts that remind us of what can be gained through formal schooling..

1. Foundation of Knowledge:

   School provides the basic knowledge and skills needed to understand the world, like reading, writing, and basic maths. The formality of the classes comes with teacher’s training in techniques of teaching literacy. Parents work closely in conjunction with the school and enjoy those early years of their child opening their minds to reading.

2. Social Skills and Relationships:

   It's where children learn to interact with others, make friends, and build essential social skills. The school yard is a miniature society where life happens and social engagements occurs.

3. Opportunities for Future Careers:

   Education at school opens doors for various jobs and careers by providing a foundation of knowledge and qualifications. School provides networks where  a student can access so much knowledge of what happens beyond school.

4. Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving:

   School teaches how to think critically, solve problems, and make decisions, skills needed in everyday life. Teachers are well resourced to provide the best environment for this critical aspect of  learning.

5. Personal Development:

   It helps in developing discipline, time management, and responsibility, preparing kids for life as adults. The culture of the classroom and the social interpersonal experiences that happen each day are constantly feeding the maturation of personal development.

6. Understanding the World:

   School exposes students to various subjects, cultures, and ideas, broadening their understanding of the world. There are many constant discussion etc on what the world is about through a school environment.

7. Health and Well-being:

   It often includes education about health, nutrition, and exercise, promoting a healthier lifestyle. Also school offers children the opportunity to join teams etc.

8. Lifelong Learning:

   It instils the value of continuous learning, encouraging a habit of learning throughout life. A classroom is a powerhouse of learning. Teachers use their talents to teach children all sorts of things and especially engage them in being independent learners.

‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’

Malcolm X

Worthwhile thoughts to give our children as we approach Christmas.

Let’s simplify Christmas and bring home to our children some important reminders about the goodwill and cheer that Christmas should bring.

Focus on Presence Over Presents: Remind yourself that the joy of the holiday season comes from being together, creating memories, and spending quality time with family. Emphasize the value of experiences and meaningful moments over material gifts. Talk about those wonderful experiences that make you family.

Teach Gratitude and Generosity: Encourage your children to appreciate what they have and to express gratitude. Use this time to instil the importance of giving, kindness, and generosity by involving them in charitable activities or teaching them to create handmade gifts for loved ones. Now is a time to say thank you to all those who have helped you throughout the year. It is time also to put our bad feelings behind us.

Manage Expectations: Help your children manage expectations about gifts and festivities. Explain that while gifts are a part of the celebration, the true spirit of Christmas lies in love, togetherness, and spreading joy, not solely in the number or value of presents received. Introduce simple gift ideas that they can make. Perhaps writing cards etc.

Create Traditions and Rituals: Consider establishing family traditions that reflect the values you want to instil. Whether decorating the tree together, baking cookies, or volunteering as a family, these rituals create lasting memories and reinforce the spirit of Christmas beyond material aspects. Every family can create their own rituals, and the children feel secure around them.

Emphasize Balance and Relaxation: Amidst the hustle and bustle, prioritize balance and relaxation. Ensure that the holiday season doesn't become overwhelming for your children. Encourage them to take breaks, engage in self-care activities, and find joy in the simple pleasures of the season. Let them plan holidays with you, and sometimes this may simply mean quiet times together.

Above all, embrace your Christmas with warmth, friendship and family connections. 

Managing anger around children.

Anger management can be quite an issue when we live busy lives, have many and varied pressures on us and our children are unsettled. It’s a natural part of life to feel anger. What we need to understand is that a child can often misinterpret our anger and will often take on much of the blame when we have a meltdown. Managing our anger around children is the best way to ensure that your child is not overpowered by your feelings. Our angry outbursts can sometimes lead them to shut down and to avoid being in our presence.

 Here are some thoughts on how your anger can influence your child.

• Children need a safe and nurturing environment. Uncontrolled anger can create fear and emotional insecurity, impacting a child's sense of safety at home. The home should be a very safe place for them.

•  Witnessing frequent anger can harm a child's mental health. It may lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty in managing emotions. Often they blame themselves for the anger.

• Children learn by observing. Constant exposure to anger might lead them to imitate aggressive behaviours, affecting their own ways of handling stress and conflicts. What they see is often what they think is the way to operate.

• A calm environment encourages open communication. When parents manage anger, it fosters trust, allowing children to feel comfortable sharing their feelings without fear of harsh reactions.

• Children learn about healthy relationships from their parents. Managing anger positively teaches them constructive ways to handle conflicts, promoting healthier relationships in the future. When they see healthy relationships, they desire to have them in their life.

If the family household contains a lot of anger, it can put your child at risk of mental health problems later in life. It also suggests that they may become aggressive and exhibit behavioural problems themselves.

Consider the three R’s of anger- Recognise, Reflect and Respond. Also, when feeling really angry, step away from the feeling for a while. This helps reduce the angry feeling.

 As a parent, understand how you cope emotionally with your child.  Being aware will make all the difference to yourself and especially your child.

 ‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Be a little on the wild side and explore adventure with your child

Adventures and surprises in doing varied and different things with your child is life giving and very stimulating for broader learning. Don't underestimate that what you expose your children to can have an amazing impact on their intellectual and emotional growth. Consider the following ideas and examples of how you can make a difference to your child’s life by being open to many ideas.

1. Fosters Learning and Curiosity:

   Adventure and exploration stimulate a child's curiosity and love for learning, providing them with new knowledge and experiences.

   Reason: Children become more adventurous and interested in change as you give them exposure and broad opportunities.

   Example: Parents can take their child on educational trips to museums, zoos, or historical sites, encouraging them to ask questions and explore exhibits. Look at what is advertised around town and beyond.

2. Builds Resilience and Confidence:

   Reason: Facing new challenges and unfamiliar situations helps children build resilience and self-confidence as they navigate and conquer obstacles. It’s all about exposing them to new moments in their life.

   Example: Parents can enrol their child in a sports team, music lessons, or an art class, where they can develop skills and gain confidence in their abilities.

3. Encourages Independence:

   Reason: Adventures allow children to make decisions and problem-solve independently, fostering a sense of self-reliance. Such independence builds emotional maturity and personal confidence. We want our children to feel that they can take control

   Example: Parents can let their child plan a family day trip, where they research and choose the destination, create an itinerary, and lead the way.

4. Creates Lasting Memories:

   Reason: Exploring new places and trying new activities can result in cherished family memories that bring joy for years to come. The more positive happy memories you have the greater longer term happy thoughts children have of growing up

   Example: Parents can plan a family camping trip, complete with storytelling around the campfire and stargazing, creating memorable experiences.

5. Fosters Cultural Awareness:

   Reason: Exposure to different cultures and traditions through travel can broaden a child's perspective and promote cultural understanding. In our global world today we need tolerance and understanding. The more your child is exposed to difference, the better informed that are about life.

   Example: Parents can take their child on international trips or visit cultural festivals and events in their own community to embrace diversity. Check out some of the documentaries on other cultures and watch the program together.

6. Promotes a Sense of Wonder:

   Reason: Adventure encourages children to see the world with wonder and excitement, fostering a lifelong appreciation for the beauty of the world. Surprise them by taking them to places that step away from comfort zones. Let them experience nature through touching, feeling, smelling and experiencing.

   Example: Parents can take their child on nature hikes or expeditions, where they can discover the wonders of the natural world, such as unique plants, animals, and landscapes.

   Be a parent who is open to difference and  welcome ideas that are unique. Not everyone has to be an Indiana Jones but within your scope as a family  look to what is possible and will stretch their imagination. You will enjoy this journey of discovery yourself.

Go a little on the wild side, be adventurous with your child.

 -Gail J Smith

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

Managing anger in children

There are many ways we can respond to anger. Consider the following ideas to help with managing anger.

Teach Your Child Acceptable Responses to Anger

• They can simply walk away from the person making them angry.

• Find a spot to cool off.

• Think about positive thoughts that take you away form the anger

• Tell yourself to keep calm.

Teaching How to Handle Big Feelings

• Kids need to learn how to handle their big feelings like anger. It helps them deal with tough situations better. Talk about what is a big feeling.

• Teach simple breathing exercises or offer a cosy spot when they're upset. Show them it's okay to talk about feelings and find ways to let out anger without hurting anyone, like drawing or going for a run.

• Solving problems and talking nicely

• Learning to manage anger teaches children how to fix problems without fighting and how to talk nicely.

• Practise talking about what's bothering them without yelling. Show how to listen when someone else is upset and find ways to fix things together. Always create  a calm, warm atmosphere when talking about anxious matters.

Making Friends and Being Happy

•  Handling anger nicely helps kids make good friends and be happy in school and at home.

•  Role-play situations where they can practise talking without getting mad. Encourage being kind and understanding to others to build strong friendships.

 Feeling Calm and Relaxed

•  Managing anger helps kids feel calm and relaxed instead of stressed or upset all the time.

•  Try relaxation activities like deep breaths or listening to calming music. Doing fun activities or games that they enjoy also helps release stress. A basketball ring outside in the yard is a great stress buster

Getting Stronger and Smarter

• Learning to handle anger makes kids strong and smart. It helps them learn from mistakes and not give up. With anger under control they are more socially engaging with everyone.

•  Encourage them to think positively when things go wrong. Show how trying different ways to solve a problem can make them better at handling tough situations.

We all have a right to feel angry. It is a natural response when we are disappointed, hurt etc. Teaching our children how to deal with anger in a positive way develops their emotional intelligence and gives them great strategies to operate in many and varied life situations. A person’s well being is really enhanced if they have great skills in managing anger.

‘Teaching your child how their behaviour effects others raises their sensitivities and invites them to rethink their anger.’

 - Gail J Smith

A few good tips when managing your child.

We are all learning how to parent on a daily basis. It keeps evolving as new experiences come our way. There is nothing that is constant as our children are developing and changing over the years.

Here are some reflections on what really works well when engaging with your child.

• Always respect them and let them know they are valued no matter how old they are.

• When you give consequences, be clear about them and ensure they are in proportion to what the problem was about.

• Always consider negotiating with them so that they feel that they have been heard. Giving a little every so often reaps many benefits.

• Your child needs frequent validation and reassurance that they are loved.

• We often talk a lot as a parent. Practise listening and really hearing what they have to say. Be patient and still when listening.

• Encouraging independence slowly and steadily builds their confidence and feelings of self-worth. They can fail without fear of needing reprisal.

• Put reasonable structures and routines in place.

• Be authentic. Let them see the real you with all its success and foibles.

 Practices that should be avoided:

• Name-calling and sarcasm. Words are powerful tools or weapons

• Rules that have no real purpose. A child needs to understand why a rule is in place.

• Too much control and too many noes.

• Be careful with put-downs. Children have a long memory.

• Take care not to overprotect. The apple does not fall far from the tree anyway.

• Too many outbursts of anger around your child. This can send them into silence around you.

In a perfect world, we would not have to think about our parenting. However, we are human, make mistakes and need to keep learning.

The best parenting is when you are always open to change and ready to learn.

 ‘The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.’

                                   -O A Battista

Teaching good manners is a great life skill

If we want our children to be well accepted and socially adapt then teaching and modelling good manners gives them a great advantage in life. Manners are a good way for you to show gratitude, display respect and demonstrate kindness. Well mannered children are highly sort after for leadership, advanced learning opportunities, senior roles etc.

Here are five key reasons outlining the benefits:

Social Skills and Relationships

Good manners help children interact positively with others, building strong relationships. When a child has good manners they are welcomed into groups. Other children feel comfortable around them and not threatened by unpredictable behaviour. Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others.

Respect and Empathy

Manners teach children to be respectful and empathetic towards others' feelings and perspectives. A well mannered child is very conscious about how to address people and how to engage with someone in difficult circumstances. Their powers of observation in dealing with people is more acute

 Confidence and Self-Esteem

Practising good manners boosts children's confidence and self-esteem in social situations. They feel more sure about themselves knowing that how they communicate often sets the scene for conversation.

Success in School and Future Career

Having good manners positively influences academic success and future career prospects. People are attracted to well mannered people and are comfortable in engaging with them.

Positive Reputation and Liability

Children with good manners are often well-liked and respected by peers and adults. There is nothing more pleasant than being around people that make you feel comfortable.

A child who has acquired the good habit of using manners is in a class of people who are self assured, understand boundaries and who will intuitively use their language to keep the quality of conversation at a high level.

‘ Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.’ Clarence Thomas

A happy child makes us all feel the joy of youth.

Here are five needs that a child once fulfilled will be content

1. Love and Support
   A happy child needs love, care, and unwavering support from family and caregivers.

2. Opportunities for Play and Exploration
   Children thrive when they have ample opportunities for play and exploration in a safe and stimulating environment.

3. Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
   Encouraging words, praise, and positive reinforcement contribute to a child's happiness and confidence.

4. Healthy Relationships and Connection
   Building healthy relationships and fostering strong connections with family and friends are crucial for a child's happiness.

5. Sense of Security and Stability
   A stable and secure environment provides the foundation for a child's happiness and well-being.

‘Never underestimate that your attention, respect, confidence and security given to your child are building a very happy person.’

Gail J Smith

Be a proactive parent

When you adopt a more proactive style as a parent your child will feel a lot more relaxed when interacting with you. They will also feel optimistic in talking more openly to you and will feel more hopeful that you will be a great listener.

Here are 5 reasons why taking a proactive stand as a parent will benefit your child.

Consider:

1.  Building a Strong Connection

   Being proactive strengthens your bond with your child.

   For example, instead of waiting for them to share their day, ask specific questions like "What was the best part of your day?" It shows you're interested and helps build trust. Have an optimistic approach and talk about positive aspects of your day.

2.  Creating a Positive Environment

   Proactive parenting helps create a happy and positive home. The household is generally more relaxed and invites all kinds of conversations..Everyone feels safe.

   For example, instead of reacting to a messy room, set up a routine to tidy up together. It turns a potential conflict into a positive habit.

3. Teaching Responsibility

   Being proactive teaches your child to be responsible.

   For example, rather than reminding them about homework every day, create a study schedule together. It helps them take charge of their responsibilities. Think ahead wherever possible.

4. Nurturing Independence

   Proactive parenting helps your child become more independent. They feel more confident in doing things on their own and trusting in your confidence in them.

   For example, instead of always doing things for them, let them take on age-appropriate tasks. It builds their confidence and independence. Making mistakes seems a normal part  of their efforts.

5. Preventing Issues Before They Arise

   Being proactive helps avoid problems before they happen. Less problems makes for a happier home.

   For example, instead of waiting for bedtime battles, establish a calming routine. It helps prevent bedtime struggles and ensures a smoother transition to sleep.

   Being a proactive parent is like steering the ship before it hits rough waters. It involves staying ahead of potential challenges, fostering positive habits, and creating an environment where your child can thrive. The more you avoid problems, the less conflict is in the home, and the more peaceful environment is present allowing more creativity and joy.

‘Remember the old saying: Prevention is better than cure.’
-Gail J Smith

Helping your child with bullying matters

This a topic that can be very real for your child. Being in a school setting sets your child up to being exposed to many and varied situations. As a parent, it is best to notice changes in your child that may indicate being unsettled at school. The following ideas talk about how you can offer some preventative measures to avoid bullying. They will strengthen your child, enabling them to have more confidence when confronting a bullying situation.

1. Open Communication Channels:

   Example: Create a safe and judgment-free space for your child to talk about their day and feelings. Ask open-ended questions like, "How was school today?" to encourage conversation. Don’t be surprised when they start talking about a difficult conversation.

2. Teach Empathy and Kindness:

   Example: Model empathy and kindness at home and discuss the importance of treating others with respect. Share stories about acts of kindness or volunteer together as a family. Affirm effort of kindness when you see your children

3. Recognize Signs of Bullying:

   Example: Be aware of behavioural changes in your child, such as mood swings, withdrawal, or a sudden loss of interest in school. Keep an eye out for unexplained injuries or damaged belongings.

4. Educate Your Child About Bullying:

   Example: Talk to your child about what bullying is, its different forms (verbal, physical, cyberbullying), and why it's wrong. Encourage them to report any incidents to a trusted adult. Particularly their teacher.

5. Boost Self-Esteem and Resilience:

   Example: Praise your child's strengths and accomplishments. Help them develop self-confidence and resilience by involving them in activities where they can excel and gain a sense of achievement.

6. Empower Your Child with Strategies:

   Example: Teach your child strategies to handle bullying, such as assertive communication, seeking help from teachers or school counsellors, and the importance of having a support system of friends.

7. Be well connected to the school:

   Example: Always speak regularly to your child’s teacher to gauge how socially well your child is coping. Often the teacher will pick up issues before you will notice a change in your child. Also the school will often run information nights on managing bullying issues.

Finally, every child, from time to time, will be challenged socially. Sometimes they can manage it, and other times we need to be able to offer some advice and assistance. Just remember that you are not about taking over the problem but assisting them in putting it right. Most importantly, it is to be a great listener and a parent who understands how to walk with them when working through these issues. They will thank you in later years for your strong presence.

‘Every child has the right to feel and be safe. As a parent make it happen’.

-Gail J Smith

Six important parenting practices with an upbeat approach

Parenting sometimes needs an upbeat approach to getting children involved. This way it takes some of the burden away and lightens the whole idea that parenting is all about control and discipline.

1. Give Lots of High-Fives for Good Stuff

   When your child does something good, give them a high-five or a thumbs up! Make it a positive moment for both of you.
   For example: "Awesome job on your drawing! High-five for all your hard work!"

2. Make Clear Rules Like a Superhero Guide

   Be a superhero with clear rules. Imagine you're creating a superhero guide for your family.
   For example: "Our superhero guide says we have a bedtime routine to help us sleep like superheroes. What do you think?" Keep it light and amusing.

3. Talk and Listen Like Best Friends Do

   Talk and listen like you're each other's best friends.
   For example: "Tell me about your day! I'm here to listen, just like best friends do."

4. Show How It's Done, Super Parent Style

   Show your child how to be super by being a super parent!
   For example: "I'll show you how to clean up, and we'll be superheroes together! Ready?"

5. Let Them Be the Captain, with You as Co-Captain

   Your child is the captain, and you're the co-captain. Help them steer!
   For example: "You're in charge of choosing today's snack. Captain's choice!"

6. Create Fun Times, Like a Weekly Family Fiesta

   Have a weekly family fiesta with games, stories, or just hanging out.
   For example: "It's our special family time! What fun thing should we do this week for our family fiesta?"

   These ideas are all about creating a happy environment where the whole business of parenting is treated in a warm and engaging way with your child. Good parenting is about preventing problem behaviour and engaging with your child in a warm and authentic way. The more you listen effectively and give time, energy and love to your child, the more you will create the best climate to rear your child.

 ‘All children love a little theatre. Build it into your parenting’.

-Gail J Smith

Teach your child to overcome safe comfort zones

Encouraging children to step out of their comfort zones and take risks is essential for their personal growth and development. It is easy to live with what we know is comfortable and secure. Staying in our comfort zone is a cosy and warm place to be. After all we are wired to stay in it.

Here are six simple and enjoyable ways to inspire them to step outside those comfort zones:

1. Discover New Interests:

   Example: "Let's try a new hobby or activity together, like painting or playing a musical instrument. It's exciting to learn something new!" Keep them interested in the idea that new interests are attractive and should be tried. Show them how you adopt new interests.

2. Embrace Mistakes as Learning Opportunities:

   Example: "Remember, it's okay to make mistakes. When you do, you're actually getting smarter! Let's try solving this puzzle even if we get some answers wrong." Laugh about mistakes. Treat them with respect as they are a way forward in learning new things. Making a mistake leads to rethinking new ideas and strategies

3. Set Achievable Challenges:

   Example: "Pick a goal that seems a little challenging but not too hard, like reading a new book or learning to ride a bike without training wheels. You'll feel so proud when you achieve it!" Let them see that there’s a great feeling of achievement when you achieve a goal. This encourages them to keep seeking out new goals.

4. Explore New Places:

   Example: "How about we visit a new park or go on an adventure hike? Exploring new places can be so much fun, and we can learn new things along the way." Be adventurous. Talk about new places and possible adventures. Invite them to plan your next outdoor adventure.

5. Encourage Trying New Foods:

   Example: "Let's have a 'Try Something New' day where we taste foods we've never had before. Who knows, you might discover a new favourite!" Every now and then, introduce a new food into their diet. Talk about it and invite their comments on what they notice is different.

6. Celebrate Effort and Courage:

   Example: "I'm so impressed by your bravery in trying new things. Let's celebrate your courage with a little family party or a special treat!" When you see them stretch their wings, affirm their efforts. Let them see how you value change and effort leading to new learning.

By incorporating these simple and enjoyable approaches, parents can instil a sense of curiosity, resilience, and a willingness to take healthy risks in their children's lives. Teach them that you are not afraid of difference and that exploration into the unknown is quite exhilarating and offers new challenges. Teach them to reduce the fear of trying something new.

            ‘The ship is always safe at the shore but that is not what it is built for’

                                                                                      -Albert Einstein

Children: Dealing with traumatic war news stories

It is easy to understand how our children can become anxious when they see and hear about the atrocities that are going on in Gaza at the moment. They can easily feel distress and confusion and have a sense of hopelessness when they see some of the graphic scenes of people and children suffering. We know that the media will be drawn to those emotionally charged scenes that are upsetting to all of us. As adults, we process these scenes in our own way, but for a child, such scenes can be quite disturbing and frightening. The memory can last for a long time. It takes the child away from what they understand is safe and guaranteed in their life experiences.

Here are some suggestions on how to control your child’s exposure to such trauma. If your child talks about the war, it is important to have a conversation explaining the situation in a caring way. You would make this conversation age-appropriate and talk about it in a comfortable undistracted environment. Also, reassure them that their world is safe and check in from time to time to ensure that they understood what you had to tell them. After all, they will hear from others, especially their peers, about the situation.

Limit Exposure to News and Images

Control the amount of media exposure your children have. Constantly watching distressing news can heighten anxiety. Consider limiting their exposure to a specific time window or providing age-appropriate summaries yourself to avoid overwhelming content.

Monitor and Filter Content

Stay informed about the news your children consume. Be selective about which sources or channels they access. Opt for child-friendly or filtered news outlets that present information in a less alarming way. Have a strong presence when they are watching television. Perhaps locate the television in a prominent section of the home.

Provide Reassurance and Open Discussion

Encourage open discussions. Explain events in an age-appropriate manner, providing reassurance and emphasizing that they are safe. Answer their questions honestly but with a focus on hope and resilience. They will look to you for a guarantee of their safety when they see or hear disturbing news.

Offer Alternative Activities

Engage in activities that redirect their focus away from distressing news. Encourage hobbies, play, or family activities to create a positive atmosphere and reduce stress levels.

Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Children learn from observing their parents. Model healthy coping mechanisms such as taking breaks from news, practising relaxation techniques, or engaging in physical activities. Show how you manage your stress to provide them with coping strategies.

Create Safe Spaces

Designate safe spaces or routines that offer comfort and security. This could be a cosy reading corner, family game nights, or any activity that helps your child feel safe and grounded despite external events. The home for them should be their sanctuary. They will certainly be distressed when they see children from Gaza without that sense of safety.

What is your child’s school doing about it

Schools have policies on how they deal with such matters as global issues and trauma. Check-in with your child’s teacher to see how they talk about the war in the classroom and get some tips to support your discussions at home. You both need to be on the same page here.

Newspapers at home

If they are often lying loosely around the house take care to have them away from your child’s sight if they have graphic images and words about the war.

Finally, these thoughts are all about ensuring that your child has a balanced understanding of the situation for their age. With their growing knowledge of the broader world will come some more emotional maturity. You can ease them into talking about what has happened and discussing the broader philosophical viewpoint on war. It’s all in your responsible hands.

‘Your child will listen very carefully to what you say. So be aware of what you say and how you say it.’ -Gail J Smith