The importance of helping your child develop a positive body image

As parents we can be very helpful in our children’s formation years, encouraging them to love themselves and to appreciate how they look and feel about themselves. There are many challenges in today’s world with body image and our children can be exposed to some very unhealthy misconceptions. In their vulnerable years, they can be easily influenced and our role as parents is to offer a nurturing, gentle introduction to developing in themselves, a positive body image, where self-love takes a focus.

Consider the following suggestions:

• Model positive body image and self-confidence in your own attitudes and

  behaviours. Avoid making negative comments about your own body. Talk about

  how you work on building a healthy body. Show them that you are very

  comfortable in your skin.

• Teach your child to use positive self-talk and affirmations to promote self-

  acceptance and confidence. Encourage them to focus on their strengths, rather

  than comparing themselves to others. Talk openly about feeling good about

  yourself is so important.

• Shift the focus from appearance to health by emphasizing the importance of

  nourishing their bodies with nutritious foods, getting regular exercise, and

  getting enough rest. Encourage them to listen to their body's cues and prioritise

  self-care. Present images of healthy looking people and keep away from the body

  beautiful image.

• Talk to your child about the unrealistic beauty standards portrayed in media and

  how they can distort perceptions of body image. Help them develop critical

  thinking skills to question media messages. Beauty comes in many forms is an

  important message.

• Celebrate diversity and teach your child to appreciate the beauty of different body types, ethnicity, and cultures. Talk about differences and how healthy it is that we have variations in our body shapes and attitudes to others.

• Encourage your child to engage in activities that make them feel good about

  themselves and their bodies, such as sports, dance, art, or hobbies. Focus on the

  joy of movement and the sense of accomplishment rather than appearance or

  performance. Keep an eye on how they dress and affirm responsible dress ware.

• Create a supportive and inclusive environment at home where your child feels

  accepted and valued for who they are. Encourage open communication and

  provide reassurance and encouragement when they express insecurities. Make

  your home a comfortable inclusive space for everyone in all shapes and sizes.

• Emphasise the importance of inner qualities such as kindness, compassion,

  intelligence, and creativity over external appearance. Help your child develop a

  strong sense of self-worth based on their character and values rather than

  superficial attributes. It is not what we look like it is alley about what is inside.

• Limit exposure to media that promotes unrealistic beauty standards or negative

  body image messages. Encourage your child to follow positive role models and

  influences who promote self-love, body positivism, and exclusivity. Leave

  healthy journals and magazines around the house promoting good health and

  hygiene.

• If you notice signs of body image issues or low self-esteem in your child, seek

  professional help from a therapist or counsellor who specialises in body image

  and self-esteem issues. Monitor your child’s changing attitudes to themselves

  especially when they enter teenage years.

Take care to have no negative talk about body images that you see on television, social media etc. Be a safe house where you understand that people are basically different and that’s OK!

“Dear Body,
You were never a problem. There is nothing wrong with your size.... You’re good enough already.”

— livesimplynatural

Build resilience in your child

As parents, from the very beginning, we see ourselves as the primary nurturer. We should also be seeing ourselves as the primary builder of resilience in our children. We want them to be strong, independent people, who can cope in life, without relying too heavily on us the parents. Sometimes, because we become cautious and anxious to ensure that our children are coping well, we forget about our role to strengthen their resilience and give them the skills they need to survive outside of the family cave.

Consider the following:

• Teach children how to identify problems, brainstorm solutions and take action to address challenges.

• Encourage them to think creatively and persistently seek solutions, even when faced with setbacks. Let them see that failure is part of life.

• Help children develop a growth mindset by emphasizing the power of positive thinking and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth. Encourage them to focus on their strengths. See life as an opportunity and stay focused on solving problems not being overcome by them.

• Create a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly and seeking support when needed. Offer empathy and encouragement. Let them see how possible it is for them to work through a successful process.

• Equip children with effective coping skills to manage stress, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and relaxation techniques. Encourage them to develop healthy outlets for expressing emotions, such as writing in diaries, art, or physical activity.

• Foster independence in children by encouraging them to take on age-appropriate

  responsibilities. Allow them to experience natural consequences and learn from their mistakes in a supportive environment.

• Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family members, friends, and other trusted adults who can serve as positive role models.. Your child needs all the positive help they can get.

• Expose children to stories of resilience through books, movies, and real-life examples. Highlight individuals who have overcome adversity and achieved success . Talk about them and especially their qualities.

• Focus on effort rather than outcomes and celebrate children's achievements, big and small. Praise their hard work, resilience, and perseverance. Celebrating the process not so much the results of the outcomes.

• Create a sense of belonging within the family and community by involving children in meaningful activities, traditions, and rituals. There are many charitable organizations with which they can engage themselves.

• Be a positive role model for resilience by demonstrating healthy coping strategies, and positive problem-solving skills. Show children that setbacks and failures are opportunities for growth and learning.

• When you are around your child be an optimistic person. Let them see that life is a hopeful experience. Moody environments can breed anxiety.

Be prepared to nurture independence in your child as this will be a major hallmark of strength for your child. Let them slowly engage with the world by themselves as this will gradually build strong resilience leading to a happier individual.

“Encouraging independence and building resilience in your child is a life saver”

— Gail J Smith

Building confidence in your child

From the moment a child is born there will be small signs of seeking independence. Perhaps ever so subtle but none the less there is a definite presence of wanting to be independent. As parents our role is to be the nurturer and provide safety and security for our child. For a parent, letting go of your responsibility can be difficult. Research tells us, that as a child reaches out for more independence, we demonstrate better parenting, if we gently walk with them as they take steps to strengthen their personal growth. There are many reasons why being alongside your child as they take independent steps is a mature way of parenting. Consider:

• Developing independence empowers children to believe in themselves and their abilities. As they accomplish tasks on their own, they gain confidence in their skills and decision-making capabilities. There is nothing like feeling successful when taking a new independent step.

• Independence fosters problem-solving skills. When children face challenges independently, they learn to think critically, adapt to new situations, and find creative solutions. They understand that they must rely on themselves and this does not frighten them.

• Learning to be independent instils a sense of responsibility in children. They understand the consequences of their actions and take ownership of tasks, fostering accountability and self-reliance. They will try different solutions to problems and not be intimidated by an occasional failure.

• Independence allows children to make decisions and choices on their own. Through these experiences, they learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and develop sound decision-making abilities. There is nothing more liberating than making your own decisions.

• Independence encourages self-reliance. Children become more resourceful and resilient as they learn to depend on themselves to accomplish tasks and overcome obstacles. They will ask questions but not expect to be given the answer.

• Developing independence prepares children for adulthood. By learning essential life skills and becoming self-sufficient, they gain the confidence and competence to thrive in the responsibilities of adulthood. Little by little they step into an adult world, well prepared with less surprises.

• Independence contributes to building healthy relationships. Children who are independent are better able to communicate their needs, assert boundaries, and engage in mutually respectful interactions with others. This is all about developing emotional maturity.

• Independence fosters a spirit of exploration and creativity. When children have the freedom to pursue their interests and ideas independently, they are more likely to discover new passions and talents. They become better risk takers and enjoy the challenge.

• Developing independence helps children form their own identity. As they make choices and pursue interests that align with their values and preferences, they gain a clearer sense of who they are and what they stand for. A child with such confidence will attract like minded children. This makes for forming healthy relationships.

In my experience as school principal, it was always the case that children who were given opportunities to demonstrate independence appeared happy and self assured. They engaged with all sorts of peers and were comfortable in many settings.

“Building independence in your child is all about sound parenting.”

— Gail J Smith

The Magic of Creative Thinking

Encouraging your child to be creative is such a critical part of their development. Remember, being creative is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about failure. It is all about the ability to express oneself in an open uncompromised way. Encouraging your child to be creative can be in many forms. It can be through art, plays, drama, music etc. It is all about the child expressing themselves and feeling satisfied that they find ways to do just that, be expressive!

• Encouraging your child's creativity is like unlocking a magical door to their imagination. It lets them explore new worlds of ideas, making everyday life more enchanting and filled with possibilities. Be open to all their ideas and place no judgement on their efforts.

• Creative activities are like giving your child a pair of confidence wings. As they let their creativity soar, they discover their own abilities and gain the self-assurance to take on new challenges. They become real risk takers.

• Creativity is an exciting adventure in the land of problem-solving. It's like giving your child a treasure map to navigate challenges, encouraging them to discover clever solutions with a spirit of curiosity. It also takes away the fear of failure.

• Creativity is like having a playground for the imagination. It lets your child swing from the heights of their dreams, slide into new possibilities, and build castles of ideas in the ever-expansive world of their own imagination.

• Creative activities offer your child an expressive color palette for their emotions. It's like painting a canvas with feelings, allowing them to express the vibrant hues of joy, the deep shades of introspection, and the bright tones of excitement.

• Fostering creativity is like packing a picnic basket of innovation for your child's future. It equips them with a delightful array of inventive snacks, ensuring they're ready to feast on fresh ideas and contribute uniquely to the ever-evolving feast of life.

“The power of imagination will be a driving force for your child’s creative process”

— Gail Smith

Learning to be tolerant around your child

In busy households with so much happening it is easy to lose your patience with your child. After all we are human and there are certain things that push our buttons. If we learn to be more tolerant around our child such modelling will reflect in the way our children treat us and others. There is much to be said about showing tolerance to our child.

• We live in a global world. Practizing tolerance helps children appreciate and embrace diversity. It fosters an understanding that people come from different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives, enriching their worldview.

• Tolerance teaches children compassion and empathy. When they learn to accept and respect others, they are more likely to show kindness and understanding in their interactions. So your modelling of tolerance will mean that you demonstrate compassion and empathy.

• Tolerant individuals tend to have stronger social skills. Teaching children tolerance helps them navigate diverse social environments, communicate effectively, and build positive relationships.

• Tolerance challenges and reduces prejudiced attitudes and stereotypes. It encourages children to see individuals for who they are rather than making assumptions based on superficial characteristics. Your example of treating everyone well will make a difference to your child’s perception of how to operate around different people

• Tolerance contributes to the creation of inclusive communities. When children learn to appreciate differences, they actively contribute to fostering an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.

• In a tolerant learning environment, children feel more comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their ideas. This openness enhances the overall educational experience and encourages creativity. Your home should embrace tolerance which makes for a safe environment.

• Tolerance is a key factor in preventing bullying and conflict. When children understand and accept each other's differences, there is less room for negative behaviours based on prejudice or discrimination. Children don't go looking for differences when they are open to accepting others.

• In an increasingly globalized world, tolerance is a crucial skill. Children who learn to appreciate and respect diversity are better prepared to navigate an interconnected and multicultural society. Our children need to understand the bigger world

• Tolerance contributes to the development of emotional intelligence. Children learn to manage their emotions in response to diverse situations, fostering resilience and adaptability. They see the world from a more mature perspective.

A home where there is tolerance is a safe haven for a child. If a child feels that they will be given space to talk about their concerns they are more likely to talk more openly and comfortably about what is on their mind.

“To build tolerance, practise breathing slowly before dealing with confronting issues. Space makes all the difference.”

— Gail J Smith

Help your child have a great start to the school year

It is different experience for every child and of course the child's order in the family will impact on how a child adjusts to school. Every child though will experience some anxiety mixed with excitement as they begin a new year. As a parent, there are some actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know that you are sharing this time together. Connect well and early in the year with the school.

Routine is important

Set a consistent daily routine that includes a regular wake-up time, meal schedule, and bedtime. Routines provide stability and help children feel more secure as they start school. Children need their boundaries and rituals.

Keep the conversation going

Foster open communication with your child. Ask about their day, listen actively and be supportive. This helps them feel comfortable sharing their experiences and concerns. Try not to probe with too many questions.

Set up a homework space for your child

Designate a quiet and organized space for homework. Having a dedicated area fosters concentration and helps your child establish good study habits. Get them involved in choosing and setting up this space.

Start giving them independent tasks

Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. This builds a sense of independence and helps them develop essential life skills. School will be teaching about being independent learners.

Keep the balance at home

Emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and stays active. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Perhaps they can help create their own nutritious lunch box.

Connect well and early in the year with the school

Establish a positive relationship with your child's teachers. Attend parent-teacher meetings, stay informed about school activities, and collaborate with educators to support your child's learning. Simply be in touch regularly.

Celebrate special moments along the way

Celebrate both big and small achievements. Positive reinforcement encourages your child's efforts and boosts their confidence as they navigate the challenges of school.

Build social stamina in your child

Encourage your child to make new friends and be kind to others. Developing social skills is an essential aspect of their overall growth and well-being.

Learning to be adaptable

Acknowledge that starting school may bring changes and challenges. Be patient, offer reassurance, and help your child adapt to the new environment. Talk about how change can be a positive thing.

Being involved helps your child adapt to school

Stay involved in your child's education. Attend school events, volunteer when possible, and stay informed about their progress. Your active involvement reinforces the importance of education in their life. Children learn with a lot more enthusiasm when they know you value education.

Never underestimate the difference you make to a child’s settling into school. Your reassurance and presence gives them a feeling of being safe and not dealing with the adjustment on their own. They grow stronger from your encouragement and presence.

“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.”

— B B King

Dealing with children's preschool jitters

By now children are starting to talk about going back to school. It can be exciting, but for some it can trigger anxieties about making a new start in a new classroom and forming friends. In the usual banter that goes on amongst children, they discuss what it will be like to be in a new classroom. It is therefore a wise idea to put a few things in place now to ease some of that beginning school tension.

Consider:

• Talk about how you look forward to meeting the new teacher and talk positively about what you may have heard about them.

• Sometimes walking around the school if your child is young just to familiarize themselves about playgrounds and happy spaces for them.

• Many families are buying items for school. Involve your child in choosing these items and have fun putting their school bag together. Talk about a few treats that might be part of this year's plan in the school bag.

• Invite school friends around so that your child can reacquaint themselves with friends.

• Start talking about the year's plan. This will be a reminder to your child that it is all about a balance between school time, sport and family recreation.

• If a new uniform is required, involve your child in shopping for it and showing it toother family members. Encourage them her to feel proud and excited about their new uniform.

• If your child talks anxiously about finding new friends, chat about how it worked last year and how they found friends after some time. Also mention that teachers work on ensuring the class bonds early into the term.

• Listen carefully to how they talk about school and if worried you can always approach the school and teachers before the year begins.

• Be available in the first few weeks of school as this can be helpful to your child who has just spent all the summer holidays with you.

• Begin adjusting bedtime and wake-up time a week or two before school starts to ensure a smooth transition. Also create a consistent morning routine that includes time for breakfast, getting dressed, and preparing for the day.

• Celebrate small achievements and successes throughout the first weeks of school.

• Positive reinforcement can boost your child's confidence early in the year. Let your child know that they can always talk to you about their experiences. Talk about how you are available to listen if they feel the need.

• Encourage a positive mindset by highlighting the enjoyable aspects of school, such as seeing friends, learning new things and engaging in fun activities. Keep the positive talk happening before school starts.

The school year is about to begin. The family wheels are in motion and there is much to coordinate before that first school bell rings. If you just gradually ease into the school year and feel that preparation is well underway, you will be much happier and satisfied that you are in control.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

— Sun Tzu

Think about having one-on-one time with your children

We are starting to reflect on what lies ahead for 2024. In your planning consider allocating some individual time for each of your children. Providing such time gives your child a wonderful sense of being important in their own right. It will make quite a difference in building that relationship with each child as they can express their uniqueness and feel their story is being heard. It also lessens sibling rivalry, which can be quite damaging amongst children.

Think about these reflections that provide sound reasons why one on one time with each child has its value for you and your child.

Special Connection: One-on-one time creates a special connection between you and your child. It makes them feel valued and loved for who they are as an individual..

Open Communication: It encourages open communication, helping your child feel comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings. Being on their own with you invites them to talk more openly about matters that are important to them.

Boosts Confidence: Individual attention boosts their confidence, showing them that their uniqueness is celebrated. They are not competing with their siblings who may have a stronger personality and can express themselves more confidently..

Tailored Support: It allows for tailored support, addressing specific needs and interests that might get overlooked in a group setting. With each child you will hear about their specific hopes and dreams.

Strengthens Bonds: One-on-one time strengthens the parent-child bond, building a foundation of trust and understanding. Your child will feel better understood and therefore more keen to engage with you on important matters.

A family can be a noisy, bustling space where stronger temperaments get heard quickly and where some children may have greater needs to be met, physical or emotional. Giving each child some regular one on one time provides some personal safe space in which each child can be themselves and feel personally connected in a deeper way to their parents.

“We can empathize with our children more deeply when we give them one on one time.”

— Gail J Smith

New year’s resolutions that are fun and enjoyable to do with your child

Who really sets new years goals and sticks to them? Certainly the idea of reflecting on change and general improvement is a great idea and we all look forward to new experiences that lighten our load and improve relationships. Here are some fun suggestions that may get you thinking about new ways to engage with your growing child throughout the year we have just commenced.

Consider:

Daily Dose of Laughter: Resolve to bring more laughter into each day, whether it's through silly jokes, funny stories, or playful activities that create joyous moments.

Tech-Free Family Time: Commit to designated tech-free hours where the focus is on quality family time —playing games, having conversations, or enjoying outdoor activities without electronic distractions.

Adventure Jar: Create an adventure jar filled with fun and spontaneous family activities. Each week, pick a new adventure from the jar to keep things exciting and create lasting memories.

Parent-Child Date Nights: Schedule regular one-on-one date nights with each child, allowing for individualized attention and opportunities to bond over shared activities or outings.

Random Acts of Kindness Together: Make a resolution to perform random acts of kindness as a family, spreading positivist and reinforcing the importance of compassion and generosity.

Storytelling Extravaganza: Start a storytelling tradition where each family member takes turns creating and sharing imaginative stories. This fosters creativity and strengthens the family narrative.

Secret Family Handshake: Develop a secret family handshake or high-five that's unique to your clan, adding an element of fun and connection to daily interactions.

Family Photo Challenges: Create monthly photo challenges where each family member contributes pictures based on a theme, promoting creativity and providing a visual chronicle of the year.

Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a gratitude jar where everyone can drop notes expressing gratitude for each other. Read the notes together on special occasions for a heartwarming family ritual.

DIY Art Gallery: Transform a wall or designated space into a DIY art gallery where everyone's artistic creations are proudly displayed. It's a fun way to appreciate each other's unique talents and expressions.

Nature Explorer Weekends: Plan weekends dedicated to exploring nature together. Whether it's hiking, picnicking, or bird-watching, these outdoor adventures provide opportunities for shared discoveries and relaxation.

Each new year will bring challenges, excitement and new experiences into the family. By adding a little extra enjoyment and family gathering time in some form you lighten the heavy load of parenting and continue to strengthen lasting bonds with your child. It's amazing how a little bit of extra joy can enrich the family.

“When we set goals we believe in ongoing improvement. That’s got to make things a little better.”

— Gail J Smith

The value of building independence in our children

Doing things for our children is a natural part of our role as parents. We do know however that the more we encourage independence in our children, the faster they learn and the more confidence they gain in themselves. Sometimes giving more independence can be scary as they may take risks, venture into the unknown without you and discover new horizons on their own.

Be that as it may, you want your child to be slowly and steadily finding their own way, forging their own direction. Consider the following reasons why encouraging independence with your child is a sign of good parenting.

Teaching Independence builds Confidence and Self-Esteem: Teaching independence allows children to accomplish tasks on their own, fostering a sense of achievement. As they successfully navigate challenges independently, their confidence and self-esteem naturally grow, laying a strong foundation for a positive self-image. The more confident a child becomes, the quicker they learn.

Being independent promotes Problem-Solving Skills: Encouraging independence requires children to think critically and problem-solve. When they face challenges without immediate assistance, they learn to analyze situations, make decisions, and find solutions, honing valuable problem-solving skills that will benefit them throughout life. They learn to make mistakes and move on quickly.

Independence fosters Responsibility and Accountability: Independence goes hand-in-hand with responsibility. When children are entrusted with age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities, they learn to take ownership of their actions. This sense of accountability contributes to the development of a responsible and conscientious mindset. From an early age you can teach your child to be responsible whether its sorting toys, cleaning rooms or managing money, it all counts.

Independence encourages Initiative and Creativity: Independent children are more likely to take initiative and explore their interests. By allowing them the freedom to pursue activities on their own, you nurture a spirit of curiosity and creativity. This independence encourages them to discover their passions and express their unique selves without interference.

Independence prepares for Future Challenges: Teaching independence equips children with essential life skills necessary for adulthood. From basic self-care tasks to decision-making and time management, independent children are better prepared to face the challenges of adolescence and adulthood. This preparation instils resilience and adaptability, essential qualities for navigating the complexities of life. The world they grow into is far different from their parent’s world and will require a new set of skills in certain areas.

Just as a child grows and changes, so too should our parenting. We need to evolve as a parent and recognize that our child will gradually seek independence. We demonstrate understanding by supporting their independence and respecting their choices and we are happy to work with them as we gradually remove ourselves, as dependency on us decreases.

“Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger.”

— Gail J Smith

Nurturing Your Child's Well-Being: A Guide for Parents to Cultivate Hope and Resilience

In the whirlwind of modern parenting, nurturing a child’s well-being has taken on new dimensions. With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. As a parent, you play a pivotal role in guiding and supporting your child on this journey towards well-being. Here are some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet sometimes challenging endeavour.

1. Encourage Open Communication

   Communication is the cornerstone of understanding your child's world. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and emotions. Such an environment will give your child the liberty to talk freely and to feel that their opinions and ideas are valued. This environment places no judgement and is open to listen at all times

2. Foster a Supportive Environment

   Children flourish when they feel supported. Whether it's a difficult maths problem or a problem with a friend, show your child that you're there to offer guidance and encouragement.  Achievements are to be celebrated as much as the effort that is put into activities. Such a supportive environment is also one that makes a child feel safe being around reliable and trusted people.

3. Prioritise Mental and Physical Health

   A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Encourage regular physical activity, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep. There many ways to work on mental and physical health and your modelling is very important here. A child needs to see that you value your own good health and well being. Talk about healthy ideas and associate with environments that nourish positive thinking about eating well and living well.

4. Instil Resilience and Coping Skills

   Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching your child to navigate these fluctuations is a priceless gift. Resilience is such a key catalyst in building emotional maturity. Teach your child how failure can be a positive growth curve and that we learn best by taking risks and having a go. Putting ourselves in challenging situations is also another way of learning resilience.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

   While it's natural to want the best for your child, it's crucial to set realistic expectations. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. It is most important to learn about balance and to recognise what is a realistic challenge for your child. Take care that they set goals that are within reach. Progressive success along the way is the best form of encouragement.

6. Lead by Example

   Children often emulate the behaviours they observe in their parents. Show them how you handle stress, make decisions, and maintain a positive outlook. Being a model can be tiring and so your child simply wants your honest efforts put forward. Be authentic, when you make a mistake be honest about it but let your child know how you keep trying.

Well being is a life long journey of discovery about yourself. As a parent you have the joy of being such an important part of their early well being. You cannot be  perfect in this area in fact if you try too hard you will wear yourself out and feel frustrated by your lack of achievements. Simply be yourself and take care to provide a climate that is inviting and welcoming to your growing child.

‘A happy home is full of grace and well being’

- Gail J Smith

Prepare well for the new year

Here are some ideas to start us thinking about creative ways to introduce our children to 2024. With each new year comes opportunities to change, shift thinking, grow in different directions, challenge current ideas etc. Perhaps some suggestions may set you in a new direction as you prepare for what’s ahead.

Family Vision Board Party: Set up a family vision board to set intentions and aspirations for the year ahead. Gather magazines, art supplies, and create vision boards together, depicting hopes, dreams, and goals for each family member.

New Year's Eve Time Capsule: Create a time capsule filled with small mementos, notes, or drawings representing memorable moments from the past year. Seal it and set a date to open it together next year to reminisce and see how much has changed. Place it in a safe and memorable place easy to access.

Setting Family Resolutions: Discuss and set family resolutions together. Encourage everyone to share one goal or resolution they'd like to achieve throughout the year. It's a fun way to support each other's aspirations.

Reflective Family Dinner: Host a reflective family dinner where everyone shares their favourite memories from the past year. Make it festive by dressing up, cooking a special meal, and enjoying quality time together. Keep it upbeat and the memories positive.

Gratitude Jar for the New Year: Start a gratitude jar specifically for the new year. Each day, encourage family members to write down something they're grateful for and place it in the jar. By the end of the year, read and reflect on the abundance of blessings collected.

Family Meeting and Planning: Hold a family meeting to discuss plans and activities for the upcoming year. Brainstorm ideas for vacations, outings, or special family events, allowing everyone to contribute to the planning process.

Family diary: Set up a calendar for the new year. Make it very visible and invite family to start writing up events that they know about. Make it a discussion piece so that the family can discuss whether there are too many busy events etc.

House remodeling: Is there any changes you need to make in the home to improve conditions for your growing family? Perhaps discuss where study areas are allocated and how entertainment areas will work for the year. Think about how you can improve movement and circulation around the house for all the family.

The New Year should be a time where we start to reflect on our hopes and aspirations for the new year. We all seek to keep growing and improving. We recognize that our children are changing and we take that into consideration as we reflect on our needs and expectations for the forthcoming months.

“Each year we begin again. A chance to refresh ourselves on so many levels.”

— Gail Smith

The value of spending time and having fun with your child

Having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships. Positive memories of childhood are often seen through those wonderful relaxed times, with no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company. Consider the following thoughts that give good reasons why this is valuable time spent in the company of your child.

1. Building Strong Emotional Bonds

   Emotional Connection:

   Spending quality time creates a strong emotional bond between you and your child. It fosters trust and security, which is essential for their emotional development. There is nothing more exhilarating than simply playing with your child.

2.  Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence

   Boosting Self-Esteem:

   Engaging in fun activities with your child helps them feel valued and important. Positive interactions and shared experiences contribute to building their self-esteem and confidence. They feel secure and confident that they are valued and that your time with them is precious.

3. Enhancing Communication and Understanding

   Open Communication:

   Quality time together often leads to better communication. It offers opportunities for meaningful conversations and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and interests. You are more inclined to listen to each other and to be less intimidated by what they have to say.

4.  Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-being

   Reducing Stress and Anxiety:

   Fun activities and shared experiences can reduce stress and anxiety, both for the child and the parent. Laughter and play contribute to a positive emotional state. The less stress the better and safer the environment for the child. We think more clearly and act more responsibly when less stressed.

5.  Creating Lasting Memories and Values

   Building Memories and Values:

   The time spent together creates lasting memories that your child will cherish. It also helps instil important values, such as the significance of relationships and having fun in life. Never underestimate the imprint you make as your child builds their tapestry of memories. It is well known that happy spontaneous moments can easily become life long memories.

We sometimes can become preoccupied with providing full on activities and experiences for our children. Remember that for them images of being together with you, relaxed and happy is the key to sharing lasting joy together. One of my most vivid and happy childhood memories is my grandmother putting a red tea towel on her head and doing a Spanish dance around the kitchen.

I was six!

 ‘Have fun with your child. There is much to gain for both of you.’

 - Gail J Smith

Speaking well to children

It’s amazing! What we say can have such an impact on our children. Our tone of voice, volume, even speed of speaking can send messages to our children. They are always looking for cues and clues in how you speak to determine how emotionally safe they are and to feel reassured. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.

When we use encouraging and positive words, it helps your child feel good about themselves. They grow up feeling confident and sure of who they are. Everyone likes and needs to hear positive talk about themselves.

 Speaking kindly builds a beautiful bond between you and your child. It's like wrapping them in a warm, comforting hug. It helps them know they're loved and understood.

 When we talk to them with love and respect, it creates a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. In that space they will come to you more often, especially when anxious about matters.

 Using gentle words helps them learn how to express themselves better. It's like giving them a key to open the door to clear and easy conversations. They will model your style of language and feel very comfortable in a style that is built around caring words.

 When we use uplifting words, it's like planting seeds of confidence in their hearts. They start believing in themselves and become their own biggest fans. Personal self worth grows stronger around comfortable speech.

 Fostering a Cozy Nest: Using gentle words wraps them in a cozy blanket of security and love. It's like creating a safe haven where they feel accepted and cherished.

 Sowing Seeds of Kindness: By speaking with warmth, we teach them the power of kindness and respect. They grow to prefer that way of speaking and adopt it comfortably themselves.

How we talk to our children is a direct statement about how we value and respect them. When feeling unsure and unsettled try walking away and saying nothing until you are calmer. It makes such a difference to the outcome.

“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”

— Peggy O'Mara

Enjoyable reasons to rest and celebrate family after Christmas:

Enough is enough. You have had a busy year. Now it’s time to savour those rolling days of summer with your family. Consider the ideas below to enrich those family experiences.

Exploring New Adventures: Post-Christmas holidays are a perfect time for spontaneous adventures. It's like setting sail on an unplanned journey, discovering hidden gems in your own backyard or exploring nearby attractions. Find the new feeling to holidays.

Creating. Crafty Fun: Get crafty and unleash creativity with family projects. It's like an artsy workshop, where you turn leftover wrapping paper into handmade cards or transform pine cones into adorable decorations.

Appreciating Slow Mornings: Enjoy lazy mornings without rush or schedules. It's like savouring a hot cup of cocoa while wearing pyjamas until noon – relishing those precious moments of peacefulness. Simply slow down.

Reflecting on the year past: Have fun talking about the adventures, mishaps and funny moments of the last year. It is good to reflect as it helps you think about plans and goals for the new year.

Playing games together: When you are well rested you are more inclined to play together and enjoy those relaxed happy moments. You will laugh more and be a little mindful of the precious times you are spending together as a family.

“Roll out those lazy, hazy crazy days of Summer”

— Song by Nat King Cole

Christmas Home Decorations - Rituals And Happy Memories

There is magic in Christmas for all children. Fantasy, dreams and excitement mount. The build up brings incredible joy and imaginations run rife. When the family decorates the tree and house in bright lights and colours, the home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas has so much long term value for your child.

Creativity and expression at Christmas time
Engaging in Christmas decorations encourages creativity and self-expression among children. They get to choose colours, designs, and arrangements, fostering their imaginative skills and allowing them to express themselves freely through decoration choices. This creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to channel emotions and thoughts positively. They will not forget the ritual of setting up the Christmas tree

Bonding and Togetherness
Decorating as a family cultivates a sense of togetherness and strengthens family bonds. Working together towards a shared goal, discussing decoration ideas, and collaborating on various aspects of decoration builds a sense of unity, fostering positive relationships. Memories are created from doing such fun family activities. The more involved they are the better.

Joy and Positive Emotions
The process of decorating for Christmas brings joy and excitement. The anticipation of the holiday season, the colourful lights, and cheerful decorations contribute to a positive atmosphere that can uplift spirits, reduce stress, and evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. It's all a positive time to feel good.

A Sense of Tradition and Belonging
Engaging in Christmas decorating traditions instils a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than oneself. Participating in these rituals and customs, passed down through generations, gives children a sense of identity, continuity, and stability, contributing to their emotional well-being. Never underestimate the importance of routine.

Mindfulness and appreciation
Decorating with the spirit of Christmas encourages mindfulness and appreciation for the present moment. Children learn to appreciate the beauty in small things, focusing on the joy of the activity and the happiness it brings rather than the material aspects.

Christmas can mean many things to different people. Above all it is about coming together and celebrating in some form. It is recognised as a reflective time for families and it can have an amazing calming and mentally stabilising effect for children. It is way of putting closure on the year and bringing together in a warm, comforting way all the feelings, emotions, experiences, joys and maybe sorrows that have been experienced and shared over the year.

Merry Christmas to all families in all shapes and forms.

Why formal education is so important

From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. It is also true to say that some people do not have fond memories of school and sadly there are sound reasons why that was the case. However, I am very much all for the advantages of formal learning sitting of course alongside the journey of learning that you the parents provide. When we have our doubts about formal school think about the following thoughts that remind us of what can be gained through formal schooling..

1. Foundation of Knowledge:

   School provides the basic knowledge and skills needed to understand the world, like reading, writing, and basic maths. The formality of the classes comes with teacher’s training in techniques of teaching literacy. Parents work closely in conjunction with the school and enjoy those early years of their child opening their minds to reading.

2. Social Skills and Relationships:

   It's where children learn to interact with others, make friends, and build essential social skills. The school yard is a miniature society where life happens and social engagements occurs.

3. Opportunities for Future Careers:

   Education at school opens doors for various jobs and careers by providing a foundation of knowledge and qualifications. School provides networks where  a student can access so much knowledge of what happens beyond school.

4. Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving:

   School teaches how to think critically, solve problems, and make decisions, skills needed in everyday life. Teachers are well resourced to provide the best environment for this critical aspect of  learning.

5. Personal Development:

   It helps in developing discipline, time management, and responsibility, preparing kids for life as adults. The culture of the classroom and the social interpersonal experiences that happen each day are constantly feeding the maturation of personal development.

6. Understanding the World:

   School exposes students to various subjects, cultures, and ideas, broadening their understanding of the world. There are many constant discussion etc on what the world is about through a school environment.

7. Health and Well-being:

   It often includes education about health, nutrition, and exercise, promoting a healthier lifestyle. Also school offers children the opportunity to join teams etc.

8. Lifelong Learning:

   It instils the value of continuous learning, encouraging a habit of learning throughout life. A classroom is a powerhouse of learning. Teachers use their talents to teach children all sorts of things and especially engage them in being independent learners.

‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’

Malcolm X

Managing anger around children.

Anger management can be quite an issue when we live busy lives, have many and varied pressures on us and our children are unsettled. It’s a natural part of life to feel anger. What we need to understand is that a child can often misinterpret our anger and will often take on much of the blame when we have a meltdown. Managing our anger around children is the best way to ensure that your child is not overpowered by your feelings. Our angry outbursts can sometimes lead them to shut down and to avoid being in our presence.

 Here are some thoughts on how your anger can influence your child.

• Children need a safe and nurturing environment. Uncontrolled anger can create fear and emotional insecurity, impacting a child's sense of safety at home. The home should be a very safe place for them.

•  Witnessing frequent anger can harm a child's mental health. It may lead to anxiety, low self-esteem, and difficulty in managing emotions. Often they blame themselves for the anger.

• Children learn by observing. Constant exposure to anger might lead them to imitate aggressive behaviours, affecting their own ways of handling stress and conflicts. What they see is often what they think is the way to operate.

• A calm environment encourages open communication. When parents manage anger, it fosters trust, allowing children to feel comfortable sharing their feelings without fear of harsh reactions.

• Children learn about healthy relationships from their parents. Managing anger positively teaches them constructive ways to handle conflicts, promoting healthier relationships in the future. When they see healthy relationships, they desire to have them in their life.

If the family household contains a lot of anger, it can put your child at risk of mental health problems later in life. It also suggests that they may become aggressive and exhibit behavioural problems themselves.

Consider the three R’s of anger- Recognise, Reflect and Respond. Also, when feeling really angry, step away from the feeling for a while. This helps reduce the angry feeling.

 As a parent, understand how you cope emotionally with your child.  Being aware will make all the difference to yourself and especially your child.

 ‘For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

Lisamessenger

A few good tips when managing your child.

We are all learning how to parent on a daily basis. It keeps evolving as new experiences come our way. There is nothing that is constant as our children are developing and changing over the years.

Here are some reflections on what really works well when engaging with your child.

• Always respect them and let them know they are valued no matter how old they are.

• When you give consequences, be clear about them and ensure they are in proportion to what the problem was about.

• Always consider negotiating with them so that they feel that they have been heard. Giving a little every so often reaps many benefits.

• Your child needs frequent validation and reassurance that they are loved.

• We often talk a lot as a parent. Practise listening and really hearing what they have to say. Be patient and still when listening.

• Encouraging independence slowly and steadily builds their confidence and feelings of self-worth. They can fail without fear of needing reprisal.

• Put reasonable structures and routines in place.

• Be authentic. Let them see the real you with all its success and foibles.

 Practices that should be avoided:

• Name-calling and sarcasm. Words are powerful tools or weapons

• Rules that have no real purpose. A child needs to understand why a rule is in place.

• Too much control and too many noes.

• Be careful with put-downs. Children have a long memory.

• Take care not to overprotect. The apple does not fall far from the tree anyway.

• Too many outbursts of anger around your child. This can send them into silence around you.

In a perfect world, we would not have to think about our parenting. However, we are human, make mistakes and need to keep learning.

The best parenting is when you are always open to change and ready to learn.

 ‘The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.’

                                   -O A Battista