Build resilience in your child
Encourage your children to explore the world at their own pace, building resilience and happiness along the way. Read on to explore the strategies by Gail Smith, to help your child become more resilient!
As parents, from the very beginning, we see ourselves as the primary nurturer. We should also be seeing ourselves as the primary builder of resilience in our children. We want them to be strong, independent people, who can cope in life, without relying too heavily on us the parents. Sometimes, because we become cautious and anxious to ensure that our children are coping well, we forget about our role to strengthen their resilience and give them the skills they need to survive outside of the family cave.
Consider the following:
Teach children how to identify problems, brainstorm solutions and take action to address challenges.
Encourage them to think creatively and persistently seek solutions, even when faced with setbacks. Let them see that failure is part of life.
Help children develop a growth mindset by emphasizing the power of positive thinking and seeing challenges as opportunities for growth. Encourage them to focus on their strengths. See life as an opportunity and stay focused on solving problems not being overcome by them.
Create a supportive and nurturing environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions openly and seeking support when needed. Offer empathy and encouragement. Let them see how possible it is for them to work through a successful process.
Equip children with effective coping skills to manage stress, such as deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, and relaxation techniques. Encourage them to develop healthy outlets for expressing emotions, such as writing in diaries, art, or physical activity.
Foster independence in children by encouraging them to take on age-appropriate
responsibilities. Allow them to experience natural consequences and learn from their mistakes in a supportive environment.
Cultivate strong, supportive relationships with family members, friends, and other trusted adults who can serve as positive role models.. Your child needs all the positive help they can get.
Expose children to stories of resilience through books, movies, and real-life examples. Highlight individuals who have overcome adversity and achieved success . Talk about them and especially their qualities.
Focus on effort rather than outcomes and celebrate children's achievements, big and small. Praise their hard work, resilience, and perseverance. Celebrating the process not so much the results of the outcomes.
Create a sense of belonging within the family and community by involving children in meaningful activities, traditions, and rituals. There are many charitable organizations with which they can engage themselves.
Be a positive role model for resilience by demonstrating healthy coping strategies, and positive problem-solving skills. Show children that setbacks and failures are opportunities for growth and learning.
When you are around your child be an optimistic person. Let them see that life is a hopeful experience. Moody environments can breed anxiety.
Be prepared to nurture independence in your child as this will be a major hallmark of strength for your child. Let them slowly engage with the world by themselves as this will gradually build strong resilience leading to a happier individual.
“Encouraging independence and building resilience in your child is a life saver”
Teach mindfulness to your child
In our fast-paced world, it's great to teach our kids to slow down and enjoy the simple things. Check out Gail Smith’s suggestions on activities that help kids relax and appreciate the moment.
Teaching mindfulness is a powerful tool in overcoming the overstimulated world in which our children live. By offering slow and steady activities to your child where they recognize and sensitize to their environment can be nothing short of a helpful tool in coping with stress and the hectic world that children experience with such distractions as social media etc.
The following activities offer some relief from the busy world and teach your child to be sensitive to the moment.
Take a few moments each day to practise deep breathing exercises with your child. Encourage them to notice the sensation of their breath as it enters and leaves their body, helping them anchor themselves in the present moment. This could be done at times that are built into routine such as before meals, at bedtime, before school etc.
Engage in a mindful listening exercise with your child. Sit quietly together and listen carefully to various sounds in your environment, such as birds chirping or cars passing by. Discuss what you noticed afterwards, such as the different pitches or rhythms of the sounds. Great fun to do in the backyard, at parks, the beach etc.
Practise mindful body scans with your child. Lie down together in a comfortable position and guide them through a relaxation exercise, focusing on each part of the body from head to toe. Encourage them to notice any sensations or feelings without judgement.
Practise loving-kindness meditation with your child. Sit together in a comfortable position and guide them to silently repeat phrases of well-wishes for themselves and others, such as "May I be happy, may you be happy, may all beings be happy."
Create a mindful art project with your child, such as colouring mandalas or painting rocks. Focus on the process rather than the end result, encouraging open conversation and exploration of thoughts and feelings during the activity. Come back later and talk about what you created and what it meant to you.
Take a mindful nature walk with your child. Explore your surroundings together, noticing the colours, textures, and smells of the natural world around you. Encourage your child to engage their senses and appreciate the beauty of the outdoors. The local park can do the job as well.
Cooking can be a mindful experience as you mix food together and reflect on the texture and feel of the ingredients as they morph into a new food. Also follow up with a mindful time of enjoying the various flavours.
Music is a great vehicle for mindful activities. Lie together on the floor and just
take in the music. Let the child enjoy their music as well as other music you may introduce.
Mindfulness is all about learning to savour the moment and to appreciate and be sensitive to what is happening around you. In our world of over stimulation, it is wonderful to introduce to our children, the art of slowing down and simply smelling the roses. One they feel the advantage they will adopt the principal themselves. Here you give them a great new life source.
“Wake up to what’s around you and savour the moment with your child.”
Helping your child learn to read
When a child struggles with reading, it can really hold them back. Their confidence takes a hit, and they might start feeling like they're not as good as other kids. Discover some fun ways to teach reading with Gail Smith and help your child become a better reader!
Recent surveys have claimed that one in three children are struggling to read. Without the gift of reading, life for a child begins to shut down and their connection to all that happens at school is limited. Confidence declines rapidly and personal self worth suffers as well. A child who cannot read is very much a disadvantaged child.
There are many way you can help your child to read. There are many styles of teaching reading and as the parent you can make quite a difference to your child’s ability to read.
Consider the following:
Be a reader yourself. Model the fact that you enjoy reading and it is important in your life.
Place books, journal articles all around the house. Make it visible that reading is a way of life. Make it a print rich home. There are some tools in technology that can help.
Read to your child each day. Most parents enjoy reading at bedtime as it is such a warm and inviting time to be around your child. Ask question when reading a book. Listen to their answers and talk about the interesting words.
Read segments out of the newspaper and ask your child to cut out letters and words. This can be a fun activity.
Have a word a day or a week that you learn and use together as a family.
Play scrabble with your child or other word games that are available. There are many resources in this area.
Invite your child to read to you. Sometimes a family can have a book they are reading together. Each night at dinner perhaps each child reads a little.
Label in your young child’s room all the objects you can see. This could be bed, table, lamp etc. have fun with your child learning all the words. Play games to memorize high frequency words.
There are some excellent phonetic charts that you can get in various educational stores. Display these around the house and refer to them from time to time.
For younger children use songs and nursery rhymes to build phonetic awareness.
Play word games in the car or at home.
Letter magnets are fun with younger children.
There are some tools in technology that can help where children are regularly rewarded for completing activities.
Make it fun but keep up the fun regularly. The school is working hard using their initiatives and skill to formally teach reading. Your job is to support their work and tap into the teacher to see if they have any recommendations to specifically support your child.
“Once you can read you are liberated from ignorance and can breathe in new life at each read.”
Understanding difficult behaviour
Parenting can get tricky, especially when dealing with difficult behaviour. Check out Gail Smith’s suggestions on handling those challenging moments with your child.
Parenting has many aspects to it. However, one of the most complex aspects is dealing with difficult behaviour. It will happen from time to time and as a parent it is all about what you tolerate and what you believe is acceptable behaviour. One of the very best things you can do is to teach your child to behave well. Your modelling and teaching is vital in this area.
Let’s consider how difficult behaviour can manifest itself:
Children with high activity or are clearly unsettled are more likely to misbehave
Sometimes it’s all about attention seeking.
Perhaps getting their own way is important to them.
Sometimes revenge to show how angry they are.
A child will model bad behaviour from other children.
It can happen when guidelines are unclear at home.
Some children need to be specifically taught the correct behaviour.
When a child is stressed. Difficult behaviour can be an outcome.
These are only a few examples of why poor behaviour can happen. Consider tackling the difficult behaviour in the following way:
Listen effectively to what they have to say. This is active listening.
Then talk about ways to address their concerns.
Some negotiation may be need. Work together on this plan.
Then together think about a resolution which may involve consequences for the child. This is real problem solving.
Check in later after action has been taken and affirm your child for going through the process.
Prevention is better than cure so think about why the problem behaviour has occurred. The more you understand, the less problems will continue to evolve.
“When you catch their good behaviour, reward well. It’s the best antidote to misbehaviour.”
Building confidence in your child
Based on her experience as a school principal, Gail Smith noticed something cool: kids who got to be independent seemed way happier and more confident. Check out why letting your child take their own steps is a smart move in parenting!
From the moment a child is born there will be small signs of seeking independence. Perhaps ever so subtle but none the less there is a definite presence of wanting to be independent. As parents our role is to be the nurturer and provide safety and security for our child. For a parent, letting go of your responsibility can be difficult. Research tells us, that as a child reaches out for more independence, we demonstrate better parenting, if we gently walk with them as they take steps to strengthen their personal growth. There are many reasons why being alongside your child as they take independent steps is a mature way of parenting. Consider:
Developing independence empowers children to believe in themselves and their abilities. As they accomplish tasks on their own, they gain confidence in their skills and decision-making capabilities. There is nothing like feeling successful when taking a new independent step.
Independence fosters problem-solving skills. When children face challenges independently, they learn to think critically, adapt to new situations, and find creative solutions. They understand that they must rely on themselves and this does not frighten them.
Learning to be independent instils a sense of responsibility in children. They understand the consequences of their actions and take ownership of tasks, fostering accountability and self-reliance. They will try different solutions to problems and not be intimidated by an occasional failure.
Independence allows children to make decisions and choices on their own. Through these experiences, they learn to weigh options, consider consequences, and develop sound decision-making abilities. There is nothing more liberating than making your own decisions.
Independence encourages self-reliance. Children become more resourceful and resilient as they learn to depend on themselves to accomplish tasks and overcome obstacles. They will ask questions but not expect to be given the answer.
Developing independence prepares children for adulthood. By learning essential life skills and becoming self-sufficient, they gain the confidence and competence to thrive in the responsibilities of adulthood. Little by little they step into an adult world, well prepared with less surprises.
Independence contributes to building healthy relationships. Children who are independent are better able to communicate their needs, assert boundaries, and engage in mutually respectful interactions with others. This is all about developing emotional maturity.
Independence fosters a spirit of exploration and creativity. When children have the freedom to pursue their interests and ideas independently, they are more likely to discover new passions and talents. They become better risk takers and enjoy the challenge.
Developing independence helps children form their own identity. As they make choices and pursue interests that align with their values and preferences, they gain a clearer sense of who they are and what they stand for. A child with such confidence will attract like minded children. This makes for forming healthy relationships.
In my experience as school principal, it was always the case that children who were given opportunities to demonstrate independence appeared happy and self assured. They engaged with all sorts of peers and were comfortable in many settings.
“Building independence in your child is all about sound parenting.”
The Magic of Creative Thinking
Creativity is about letting your imagination run wild! Discover how encouraging your child's creative side can lead to amazing benefits. Join Gail Smith as she dives into the world of creativity!
Encouraging your child to be creative is such a critical part of their development. Remember, being creative is not about being right or wrong. It is also not about failure. It is all about the ability to express oneself in an open uncompromised way. Encouraging your child to be creative can be in many forms. It can be through art, plays, drama, music etc. It is all about the child expressing themselves and feeling satisfied that they find ways to do just that, be expressive!
Encouraging your child's creativity is like unlocking a magical door to their imagination. It lets them explore new worlds of ideas, making everyday life more enchanting and filled with possibilities. Be open to all their ideas and place no judgement on their efforts.
Creative activities are like giving your child a pair of confidence wings. As they let their creativity soar, they discover their own abilities and gain the self-assurance to take on new challenges. They become real risk takers.
Creativity is an exciting adventure in the land of problem-solving. It's like giving your child a treasure map to navigate challenges, encouraging them to discover clever solutions with a spirit of curiosity. It also takes away the fear of failure.
Creativity is like having a playground for the imagination. It lets your child swing from the heights of their dreams, slide into new possibilities, and build castles of ideas in the ever-expansive world of their own imagination.
Creative activities offer your child an expressive color palette for their emotions. It's like painting a canvas with feelings, allowing them to express the vibrant hues of joy, the deep shades of introspection, and the bright tones of excitement.
Fostering creativity is like packing a picnic basket of innovation for your child's future. It equips them with a delightful array of inventive snacks, ensuring they're ready to feast on fresh ideas and contribute uniquely to the ever-evolving feast of life.
“The power of imagination will be a driving force for your child’s creative process”
Learning to be tolerant around your child
Gail Smith sheds light on the power of tolerance in shaping how our children perceive and treat us, as well as others. The Primary Years.
In busy households with so much happening it is easy to lose your patience with your child. After all we are human and there are certain things that push our buttons. If we learn to be more tolerant around our child such modelling will reflect in the way our children treat us and others. There is much to be said about showing tolerance to our child.
We live in a global world. Practizing tolerance helps children appreciate and embrace diversity. It fosters an understanding that people come from different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives, enriching their worldview.
Tolerance teaches children compassion and empathy. When they learn to accept and respect others, they are more likely to show kindness and understanding in their interactions. So your modelling of tolerance will mean that you demonstrate compassion and empathy.
Tolerant individuals tend to have stronger social skills. Teaching children tolerance helps them navigate diverse social environments, communicate effectively, and build positive relationships.
Tolerance challenges and reduces prejudiced attitudes and stereotypes. It encourages children to see individuals for who they are rather than making assumptions based on superficial characteristics. Your example of treating everyone well will make a difference to your child’s perception of how to operate around different people
Tolerance contributes to the creation of inclusive communities. When children learn to appreciate differences, they actively contribute to fostering an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
In a tolerant learning environment, children feel more comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their ideas. This openness enhances the overall educational experience and encourages creativity. Your home should embrace tolerance which makes for a safe environment.
Tolerance is a key factor in preventing bullying and conflict. When children understand and accept each other's differences, there is less room for negative behaviours based on prejudice or discrimination. Children don't go looking for differences when they are open to accepting others.
In an increasingly globalized world, tolerance is a crucial skill. Children who learn to appreciate and respect diversity are better prepared to navigate an interconnected and multicultural society. Our children need to understand the bigger world
Tolerance contributes to the development of emotional intelligence. Children learn to manage their emotions in response to diverse situations, fostering resilience and adaptability. They see the world from a more mature perspective.
A home where there is tolerance is a safe haven for a child. If a child feels that they will be given space to talk about their concerns they are more likely to talk more openly and comfortably about what is on their mind.
“To build tolerance, practise breathing slowly before dealing with confronting issues. Space makes all the difference.”
Be available to listen to your child at this early stage of the school year
When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly. Explore the reasons for effective listening with Gail Smith, especially at this early stage of the school year.
At this early stage of the school year it is most important to be a good listener to your child. There will be the usual challenges and adjustments with a new classroom teacher and a different culture of children in a class. They need to have your ear when they come home. Some reasons for effective listening are listed below. You may identify with some as only you know how your child responds to change.
Being a good listener builds trust between you and your child. Once trust is established they will talk more about their deep concerns. They will safe to talk.
By actively listening, you can understand any concerns or anxieties your child may have about the new school year. Addressing these concerns helps them feel supported.
Listening attentively to your child's thoughts and feelings promotes their emotional well-being. It provides a safe space for them to express themselves, reducing stress and fostering a positive mindset.
Effective listening helps you identify your child's needs, whether they're related to schoolwork, social interactions, or personal challenges. This allows you to provide appropriate support and guidance. It is different for every child.
When you listen well you will actually be surprised at what you hear. Then asking simple questions may help get to the bottom of the problem sooner.
When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their confidence. Knowing that their opinions and experiences matter encourages them to engage more actively in school and other social situations. Sometimes just talking it through is enough!
Actively listening to your child strengthens the bond between you. It creates a sense of connection and security, making them more likely to turn to you for guidance and support. That is the right place for your child to get the support.
Understanding your child's thoughts about school allows you to provide targeted support for their academic success. You can address any challenges they may be facing and work together on solutions.
When you get into the habit of listening well your child will expect nothing less. However the reward is the richness of conversation that develops.
A child who feels vulnerable in talking about their concerns will only disclose if they are genuinely listened to in a safe and trusting environment. Know your child’s needs.
Time is needed to be an active listener. You cannot do it on the run. Allow time when your child needs to talk.
At this early stage of the year is it a good idea to be readily available to listen to your child. They may need that comfortable ear.
“When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly”
Building stronger relationships with your child
Explore these simple suggestions with Gail Smith to enhance the task of building better relationships with your child. The Primary Years.
There is no right way to build stronger relationships with your child. There are many ideas and suggestions. Here are a few suggestions that may help.
Quality Time Tokens: Create "Quality Time Tokens" – special cards or tokens that kids can use to request dedicated one-on-one time with a parent for activities they enjoy. This can be fun in the making.
Story Sharing Sessions: Initiate regular "Story Sharing Sessions" where both parent and child take turns sharing anecdotes, dreams, or stories from their day. It promotes communication and strengthens bonds. Great to do this at dinner time or bedtime
Involvement in Their World: Engage in "Their World" by showing interest in their hobbies, favourite shows, or games. It demonstrates care and understanding of their interests. Accept all their ideas and take care not to place judgements on their suggestions.
Gratitude Jar Ritual: Start a "Gratitude Jar Ritual" by jotting down things you're grateful for about each other. Read these notes together periodically to foster appreciation and connection.
Decision-Making Together: Involve children in "Family Decision-Making" by allowing them to contribute ideas or have a say in certain family choices. It promotes a sense of responsibility and value in their opinions.
The above thoughts are simple suggestions to keep up the task of building better relationships with your child. Every family is different. You may already have some fun and endearing ways of building a unique relationship with your child.
‘Your kids watch you for a living. It’s their job: It’s what they do. That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.’
James Lehman
Managing children’s behaviour
Children will, from time to time, challenge your authority and demand that their needs be met. Gail Smith shares some positive cues that give you a greater capacity to manage the situation and reduce the impact on both the parent and the child.
Behaviour of children varies from time to time. Often the reasons for the behaviour are hard to work out and need time and patience spent with the child. Other times it can be simple to resolve and as the parent you move on quickly.
Here are some positive cues to help set the scene enabling your child to cope better when behaviour is poor. It also gives you a greater capacity to manage the situation and reduce the impact on parent and child.
A positive happy home environment
A positive happy home environment where the child feels safe and secure is an excellent setting for a child to feel that problems are solvable. Lots of smiles, laughter and attention will make a difference. Keep the home environment warm and welcoming.
Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
Focus on Positive Behaviour: Acknowledge and praise good behaviour to reinforce it. Encouragement helps children understand what is expected and reinforces their positive actions. Positive behaviour is the key to teaching your child how to deal with matters.
Consistent Rules and Expectations
Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries: Establish clear rules and expectations. Consistency is key—when children know what is expected, it helps them understand limits and fosters a sense of security. Teach behaviours that you want to be present. Demonstrate and reward your child when you see good behaviour. Provide a good example for the child to copy.
Effective Communication and Active Listening
Listen and Communicate: Encourage open communication. Listen actively to understand their perspective and feelings. Communicate calmly and explain reasons behind rules or consequences. Remain calm and consistent in the way you engage with your child.
Use of Logical Consequences
Apply Logical and Proportionate Consequences: Consequences should be related to the behaviour and age-appropriate. Logical consequences help children understand the impact of their actions without being punitive. Be clear in how you talk about these consequences. Model Behaviour and Teach Problem-Solving
Leading by Example: Children often emulate the behaviour they observe. Model the behaviour you wish to see in them, including problem-solving skills and managing emotions effectively.
If you adopt the belief that children’s behaviour is exactly that...child-like, you will begin to put things into perspective. They will, from time to time, challenge your authority and demand their needs be met. By being consistent and caring in the way you deal with such matters, you will make all the difference to their emotional growth.
‘A parent who has a positive outlook on life passes on a happy message to their child.’
-Gail J Smith
Help your child have a great start to the school year
Every child will encounter a mix of excitement and anxiety at the start of a new school year. Gail Smith shares tips on actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know you are navigating this journey together.
It is different experience for every child and of course the child's order in the family will impact on how a child adjusts to school. Every child though will experience some anxiety mixed with excitement as they begin a new year. As a parent, there are some actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know that you are sharing this time together. Connect well and early in the year with the school.
Routine is important
Set a consistent daily routine that includes a regular wake-up time, meal schedule, and bedtime. Routines provide stability and help children feel more secure as they start school. Children need their boundaries and rituals.
Keep the conversation going
Foster open communication with your child. Ask about their day, listen actively and be supportive. This helps them feel comfortable sharing their experiences and concerns. Try not to probe with too many questions.
Set up a homework space for your child
Designate a quiet and organized space for homework. Having a dedicated area fosters concentration and helps your child establish good study habits. Get them involved in choosing and setting up this space.
Start giving them independent tasks
Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. This builds a sense of independence and helps them develop essential life skills. School will be teaching about being independent learners.
Keep the balance at home
Emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and stays active. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Perhaps they can help create their own nutritious lunch box.
Connect well and early in the year with the school
Establish a positive relationship with your child's teachers. Attend parent-teacher meetings, stay informed about school activities, and collaborate with educators to support your child's learning. Simply be in touch regularly.
Celebrate special moments along the way
Celebrate both big and small achievements. Positive reinforcement encourages your child's efforts and boosts their confidence as they navigate the challenges of school.
Build social stamina in your child
Encourage your child to make new friends and be kind to others. Developing social skills is an essential aspect of their overall growth and well-being.
Learning to be adaptable
Acknowledge that starting school may bring changes and challenges. Be patient, offer reassurance, and help your child adapt to the new environment. Talk about how change can be a positive thing.
Being involved helps your child adapt to school
Stay involved in your child's education. Attend school events, volunteer when possible, and stay informed about their progress. Your active involvement reinforces the importance of education in their life. Children learn with a lot more enthusiasm when they know you value education.
Never underestimate the difference you make to a child’s settling into school. Your reassurance and presence gives them a feeling of being safe and not dealing with the adjustment on their own. They grow stronger from your encouragement and presence.
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.”
Dealing with children's preschool jitters
Heading back to school is an adventure, but we know it can bring butterflies for some! Gail Smith has awesome tips to help your family smoothly glide into the new school year. Let's make it an exciting journey together!"
By now children are starting to talk about going back to school. It can be exciting, but for some it can trigger anxieties about making a new start in a new classroom and forming friends. In the usual banter that goes on amongst children, they discuss what it will be like to be in a new classroom. It is therefore a wise idea to put a few things in place now to ease some of that beginning school tension.
Consider:
Talk about how you look forward to meeting the new teacher and talk positively about what you may have heard about them.
Sometimes walking around the school if your child is young just to familiarize themselves about playgrounds and happy spaces for them.
Many families are buying items for school. Involve your child in choosing these items and have fun putting their school bag together. Talk about a few treats that might be part of this year's plan in the school bag.
Invite school friends around so that your child can reacquaint themselves with friends.
Start talking about the year's plan. This will be a reminder to your child that it is all about a balance between school time, sport and family recreation.
If a new uniform is required, involve your child in shopping for it and showing it toother family members. Encourage them her to feel proud and excited about their new uniform.
If your child talks anxiously about finding new friends, chat about how it worked last year and how they found friends after some time. Also mention that teachers work on ensuring the class bonds early into the term.
Listen carefully to how they talk about school and if worried you can always approach the school and teachers before the year begins.
Be available in the first few weeks of school as this can be helpful to your child who has just spent all the summer holidays with you.
Begin adjusting bedtime and wake-up time a week or two before school starts to ensure a smooth transition. Also create a consistent morning routine that includes time for breakfast, getting dressed, and preparing for the day.
Celebrate small achievements and successes throughout the first weeks of school.
Positive reinforcement can boost your child's confidence early in the year. Let your child know that they can always talk to you about their experiences. Talk about how you are available to listen if they feel the need.
Encourage a positive mindset by highlighting the enjoyable aspects of school, such as seeing friends, learning new things and engaging in fun activities. Keep the positive talk happening before school starts.
The school year is about to begin. The family wheels are in motion and there is much to coordinate before that first school bell rings. If you just gradually ease into the school year and feel that preparation is well underway, you will be much happier and satisfied that you are in control.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
Finding balance between structured activities and long summer holidays
Ever feel like school holidays are dragging, and the kids are a bit bored? Check out these cool ideas from Gail Smith to keep the children entertained and working together this summer. The Primary Years
The school holidays can seem long at times and there will be moments of boredom where the children are struggling to find activities to do. Consider mixing a few enjoyable structured activities with those long summer days.
Here are some ideas to get you thinking:
Creative Workshops or Classes: Enrol your child in a creative workshop or class, such as art, music, or coding. These structured activities allow them to explore new skills in a fun and educational environment. They also get to meet new friends.
Summer Reading Program: Implement a summer reading program with specific goals and rewards. Set aside dedicated time each day for reading, and make it an enjoyable experience by discussing the stories together. Have lots of books lying around the house.
Nature Explorations and Scavenger Hunts: Plan structured nature outings or scavenger hunts to explore the outdoors. This provides a blend of structure and adventure, allowing children to learn about nature in a hands-on way.
Cooking or Baking: This is always a winner with children and so therapeutic for everyone.
Gardening Project: Start a small gardening project with your child. It could involve planting and caring for flowers, herbs, or vegetables. This structured activity teaches responsibility and introduces kids to the wonders of nature. It’s fun planting and fun watering.
Weekly Family Movie Nights with Discussions: Designate a specific night each week for a family movie night. Choose movies that are not only entertaining but also have meaningful themes. After the movie, engage in discussions with your child, encouraging them to share their thoughts and insights.
Structured Games: Have a game night where you play scrabble, monopoly or twister. Just make it a fun night with popcorn.
As we approach the latter bracket of school holiday it is a great idea to bring the troupes in to work together as the year ahead will be a busy one.
“Cause a little bit of Summer is what the whole year is about.”
Think about having one-on-one time with your children
Dive into profound insights with Gail Smith, exploring the meaningful value of dedicating one-on-one time with each of your children.
We are starting to reflect on what lies ahead for 2024. In your planning consider allocating some individual time for each of your children. Providing such time gives your child a wonderful sense of being important in their own right. It will make quite a difference in building that relationship with each child as they can express their uniqueness and feel their story is being heard. It also lessens sibling rivalry, which can be quite damaging amongst children.
Think about these reflections that provide sound reasons why one on one time with each child has its value for you and your child.
Special Connection: One-on-one time creates a special connection between you and your child. It makes them feel valued and loved for who they are as an individual..
Open Communication: It encourages open communication, helping your child feel comfortable sharing thoughts and feelings. Being on their own with you invites them to talk more openly about matters that are important to them.
Boosts Confidence: Individual attention boosts their confidence, showing them that their uniqueness is celebrated. They are not competing with their siblings who may have a stronger personality and can express themselves more confidently..
Tailored Support: It allows for tailored support, addressing specific needs and interests that might get overlooked in a group setting. With each child you will hear about their specific hopes and dreams.
Strengthens Bonds: One-on-one time strengthens the parent-child bond, building a foundation of trust and understanding. Your child will feel better understood and therefore more keen to engage with you on important matters.
A family can be a noisy, bustling space where stronger temperaments get heard quickly and where some children may have greater needs to be met, physical or emotional. Giving each child some regular one on one time provides some personal safe space in which each child can be themselves and feel personally connected in a deeper way to their parents.
“We can empathize with our children more deeply when we give them one on one time.”
The value of building independence in our children
Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger. Discover with Gail Smith why encouraging your child's independence is a hallmark of good parenting.
Doing things for our children is a natural part of our role as parents. We do know however that the more we encourage independence in our children, the faster they learn and the more confidence they gain in themselves. Sometimes giving more independence can be scary as they may take risks, venture into the unknown without you and discover new horizons on their own.
Be that as it may, you want your child to be slowly and steadily finding their own way, forging their own direction. Consider the following reasons why encouraging independence with your child is a sign of good parenting.
Teaching Independence builds Confidence and Self-Esteem: Teaching independence allows children to accomplish tasks on their own, fostering a sense of achievement. As they successfully navigate challenges independently, their confidence and self-esteem naturally grow, laying a strong foundation for a positive self-image. The more confident a child becomes, the quicker they learn.
Being independent promotes Problem-Solving Skills: Encouraging independence requires children to think critically and problem-solve. When they face challenges without immediate assistance, they learn to analyze situations, make decisions, and find solutions, honing valuable problem-solving skills that will benefit them throughout life. They learn to make mistakes and move on quickly.
Independence fosters Responsibility and Accountability: Independence goes hand-in-hand with responsibility. When children are entrusted with age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities, they learn to take ownership of their actions. This sense of accountability contributes to the development of a responsible and conscientious mindset. From an early age you can teach your child to be responsible whether its sorting toys, cleaning rooms or managing money, it all counts.
Independence encourages Initiative and Creativity: Independent children are more likely to take initiative and explore their interests. By allowing them the freedom to pursue activities on their own, you nurture a spirit of curiosity and creativity. This independence encourages them to discover their passions and express their unique selves without interference.
Independence prepares for Future Challenges: Teaching independence equips children with essential life skills necessary for adulthood. From basic self-care tasks to decision-making and time management, independent children are better prepared to face the challenges of adolescence and adulthood. This preparation instils resilience and adaptability, essential qualities for navigating the complexities of life. The world they grow into is far different from their parent’s world and will require a new set of skills in certain areas.
Just as a child grows and changes, so too should our parenting. We need to evolve as a parent and recognize that our child will gradually seek independence. We demonstrate understanding by supporting their independence and respecting their choices and we are happy to work with them as we gradually remove ourselves, as dependency on us decreases.
“Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger.”
Listening to your children is incredibly important for several reasons
Talk less, listen more next time when you are having a conversation with your children. Consider the following reasons why active listening is so important by Gail Smith.
We all need to feel heard. We need to express our needs to gain help. Children get the support they need by being listened to from a caring and patient parent. Consider the following reasons why active listening is so important:
Building Trust and Connection: When you listen attentively to your children, it strengthens the bond between you. It shows them that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter, creating a foundation of trust and openness in your relationship. Children feel safer when being really listened to effectively.
Developing Healthy Communication Skills: By actively listening, you teach your children the importance of effective communication. They learn how to express themselves, articulate their thoughts, and engage in meaningful conversations. Children enjoy being around a child that listens well. They feel reassured and valued.
Boosting Self-Esteem and Confidence: When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their self- esteem. It gives them the confidence to express themselves without fear of judgement, nurturing their sense of self-worth. Being truly heard means that you value that person and believe that what they have to say has credibility.
Understanding Their World: Listening to your children helps you understand their world better. It provides insights into their interests, concerns, and challenges, allowing you to offer guidance and support tailored to their needs. You form better relationships with your child when you understand and appreciate their world.
Building Emotional Intelligence: Listening well nurtures emotional intelligence in children. They learn to identify and express their emotions, leading to better self-regulation and empathy towards others.
Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills: Active listening teaches children problem-solving skills. By allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings, they learn to analyze situations and find solutions independently. This is all about believing in themselves and having trusting people around them that listen.
Strengthening Parent-Child Relationship: When children feel heard and valued, it strengthens the parent-child relationship. It creates a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their joys and concerns, leading to a deeper connection.
Setting the tone of conversation: When you listen well you are often calm and talk in a comfortable, unstressed manner. This sets the scene for a relaxed and peaceful chat that has value to your child.
By setting up a culture of listening well to your child, you set the scene for an environment where conversation is encouraged and where everyone feels valued and makes contributions.
“Listen well to your child. They will return this compliment later.”
Nurturing Your Child's Well-Being: A Guide for Parents to Cultivate Hope and Resilience
With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. Read on for some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet challenging endeavour.
In the whirlwind of modern parenting, nurturing a child’s well-being has taken on new dimensions. With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. As a parent, you play a pivotal role in guiding and supporting your child on this journey towards well-being. Here are some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet sometimes challenging endeavour.
Encourage Open Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of understanding your child's world. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and emotions. Such an environment will give your child the liberty to talk freely and to feel that their opinions and ideas are valued. This environment places no judgement and is open to listen at all times
Foster a Supportive Environment
Children flourish when they feel supported. Whether it's a difficult maths problem or a problem with a friend, show your child that you're there to offer guidance and encouragement. Achievements are to be celebrated as much as the effort that is put into activities. Such a supportive environment is also one that makes a child feel safe being around reliable and trusted people.
Prioritise Mental and Physical Health
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Encourage regular physical activity, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep. There many ways to work on mental and physical health and your modelling is very important here. A child needs to see that you value your own good health and well being. Talk about healthy ideas and associate with environments that nourish positive thinking about eating well and living well.
Instil Resilience and Coping Skills
Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching your child to navigate these fluctuations is a priceless gift. Resilience is such a key catalyst in building emotional maturity. Teach your child how failure can be a positive growth curve and that we learn best by taking risks and having a go. Putting ourselves in challenging situations is also another way of learning resilience.
Set Realistic Expectations
While it's natural to want the best for your child, it's crucial to set realistic expectations. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. It is most important to learn about balance and to recognise what is a realistic challenge for your child. Take care that they set goals that are within reach. Progressive success along the way is the best form of encouragement.
Lead by Example
Children often emulate the behaviours they observe in their parents. Show them how you handle stress, make decisions, and maintain a positive outlook. Being a model can be tiring and so your child simply wants your honest efforts put forward. Be authentic, when you make a mistake be honest about it but let your child know how you keep trying.
Well being is a life long journey of discovery about yourself. As a parent you have the joy of being such an important part of their early well being. You cannot be perfect in this area in fact if you try too hard you will wear yourself out and feel frustrated by your lack of achievements. Simply be yourself and take care to provide a climate that is inviting and welcoming to your growing child.
‘A happy home is full of grace and well being’
- Gail J Smith
Prepare well for the new year
Beyond the holiday joys, discover exciting ways to usher in the new year with your family in a truly meaningful and memorable manner.
Here are some ideas to start us thinking about creative ways to introduce our children to 2024. With each new year comes opportunities to change, shift thinking, grow in different directions, challenge current ideas etc. Perhaps some suggestions may set you in a new direction as you prepare for what’s ahead.
Family Vision Board Party: Set up a family vision board to set intentions and aspirations for the year ahead. Gather magazines, art supplies, and create vision boards together, depicting hopes, dreams, and goals for each family member.
New Year's Eve Time Capsule: Create a time capsule filled with small mementos, notes, or drawings representing memorable moments from the past year. Seal it and set a date to open it together next year to reminisce and see how much has changed. Place it in a safe and memorable place easy to access.
Setting Family Resolutions: Discuss and set family resolutions together. Encourage everyone to share one goal or resolution they'd like to achieve throughout the year. It's a fun way to support each other's aspirations.
Reflective Family Dinner: Host a reflective family dinner where everyone shares their favourite memories from the past year. Make it festive by dressing up, cooking a special meal, and enjoying quality time together. Keep it upbeat and the memories positive.
Gratitude Jar for the New Year: Start a gratitude jar specifically for the new year. Each day, encourage family members to write down something they're grateful for and place it in the jar. By the end of the year, read and reflect on the abundance of blessings collected.
Family Meeting and Planning: Hold a family meeting to discuss plans and activities for the upcoming year. Brainstorm ideas for vacations, outings, or special family events, allowing everyone to contribute to the planning process.
Family diary: Set up a calendar for the new year. Make it very visible and invite family to start writing up events that they know about. Make it a discussion piece so that the family can discuss whether there are too many busy events etc.
House remodeling: Is there any changes you need to make in the home to improve conditions for your growing family? Perhaps discuss where study areas are allocated and how entertainment areas will work for the year. Think about how you can improve movement and circulation around the house for all the family.
The New Year should be a time where we start to reflect on our hopes and aspirations for the new year. We all seek to keep growing and improving. We recognize that our children are changing and we take that into consideration as we reflect on our needs and expectations for the forthcoming months.
“Each year we begin again. A chance to refresh ourselves on so many levels.”
The value of spending time and having fun with your child
With no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company, having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships.
Having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships. Positive memories of childhood are often seen through those wonderful relaxed times, with no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company. Consider the following thoughts that give good reasons why this is valuable time spent in the company of your child.
Building Strong Emotional Bonds
Emotional Connection:
Spending quality time creates a strong emotional bond between you and your child. It fosters trust and security, which is essential for their emotional development. There is nothing more exhilarating than simply playing with your child.
Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence
Boosting Self-Esteem:
Engaging in fun activities with your child helps them feel valued and important. Positive interactions and shared experiences contribute to building their self-esteem and confidence. They feel secure and confident that they are valued and that your time with them is precious.
Enhancing Communication and Understanding
Open Communication:
Quality time together often leads to better communication. It offers opportunities for meaningful conversations and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and interests. You are more inclined to listen to each other and to be less intimidated by what they have to say.
Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-being
Reducing Stress and Anxiety:
Fun activities and shared experiences can reduce stress and anxiety, both for the child and the parent. Laughter and play contribute to a positive emotional state. The less stress the better and safer the environment for the child. We think more clearly and act more responsibly when less stressed.
Creating Lasting Memories and Values
Building Memories and Values:
The time spent together creates lasting memories that your child will cherish. It also helps instil important values, such as the significance of relationships and having fun in life. Never underestimate the imprint you make as your child builds their tapestry of memories. It is well known that happy spontaneous moments can easily become life long memories.
We sometimes can become preoccupied with providing full on activities and experiences for our children. Remember that for them images of being together with you, relaxed and happy is the key to sharing lasting joy together. One of my most vivid and happy childhood memories is my grandmother putting a red tea towel on her head and doing a Spanish dance around the kitchen.
I was six!
‘Have fun with your child. There is much to gain for both of you.’
- Gail J Smith
Speaking well to children
What we say and how we say it has such an impact on our child. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.
It’s amazing! What we say can have such an impact on our children. Our tone of voice, volume, even speed of speaking can send messages to our children. They are always looking for cues and clues in how you speak to determine how emotionally safe they are and to feel reassured. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.
When we use encouraging and positive words, it helps your child feel good about themselves. They grow up feeling confident and sure of who they are. Everyone likes and needs to hear positive talk about themselves.
Speaking kindly builds a beautiful bond between you and your child. It's like wrapping them in a warm, comforting hug. It helps them know they're loved and understood.
When we talk to them with love and respect, it creates a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. In that space they will come to you more often, especially when anxious about matters.
Using gentle words helps them learn how to express themselves better. It's like giving them a key to open the door to clear and easy conversations. They will model your style of language and feel very comfortable in a style that is built around caring words.
When we use uplifting words, it's like planting seeds of confidence in their hearts. They start believing in themselves and become their own biggest fans. Personal self worth grows stronger around comfortable speech.
Fostering a Cozy Nest: Using gentle words wraps them in a cozy blanket of security and love. It's like creating a safe haven where they feel accepted and cherished.
Sowing Seeds of Kindness: By speaking with warmth, we teach them the power of kindness and respect. They grow to prefer that way of speaking and adopt it comfortably themselves.
How we talk to our children is a direct statement about how we value and respect them. When feeling unsure and unsettled try walking away and saying nothing until you are calmer. It makes such a difference to the outcome.
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”