Raising a Confident Child in Today’s Classroom: 5 Surprising Ways Parents Can Help

Let’s face it: school can be a confidence minefield. Whether it’s answering a question in front of the class, navigating friendship drama, or simply speaking up when they need help, many children hold back, often because they don’t believe in themselves and they are just not socially sure of themselves.

As a parent, you’re in the perfect position to quietly build that belief. Confidence needs to be lived, practised, and grown like a muscle.

Here are 5 innovative, real-world ideas to help your child grow in confidence at school and beyond.

1. Let Your Child Be the Expert (at Home and in Public)

Why it works: When children teach something, they feel powerful and valued. Explaining ideas helps them process and internalize knowledge, and boosts their confidence to speak out in class.

Try this:

• Ask your child to explain a concept they’re learning like fractions, life cycles, or even a new word and record a mini “teaching video” for a grandparent or cousin.

• Out in the world? Ask them to order the food, check the train times, or explain a museum exhibit to you like they’re your tour guide.

The more they hear their own voice doing real life activities in a responsible way the more they grow sure of themselves.

2. Schedule One “Mini Risk” a Week

Why it works: Confidence comes from doing, especially things that feel a bit uncomfortable. Regular small challenges build resilience and trust in their own ability.

Try this:

Make a “Mini Risk Jar” with your child. Fill it with fun, doable dares:

• Ask a new friend to play

• Try a new club

• Put your hand up once a day

• Present a joke at dinner

• Talk about any risks you have taken recently.

Celebrate attempts, not outcomes. Praise the trying, not the success. Comment on the effort made and how this is successful.

3. Ditch “Be Confident”. Say This Instead

Why it works: “Be confident” is vague. Kids need tools. Swapping language helps them link confidence to specific actions.

Try this:

Replace “Be confident” with:

• “Speak like you’re helping someone understand”

• “Stand like a superhero, feet planted, eyes up”

• “Remember, your voice is a gift”

Real story: A dad told his son, “Stand like Spider-Man before he saves the day.” The next morning, the boy stood taller during show-and-tell and actually smiled.

4. Let Them Hear You Fail (and Bounce Back)

Why it works: Children often believe adults are always right, always perfect. When you model what it looks like to get something wrong and keep going, you give them permission to do the same. Be authentic and let them see the real you with warts and all.

Try this:

• Talk aloud about your mistakes: “I totally messed up that email but here’s how I fixed it.”

• Share how you felt, what you did next, and how you kept perspective.

“I told my son about how I froze during a meeting. He said, ‘That’s like when I forgot my line in the play!’ Suddenly, we were teammates.”

5. Confidence Grows in the Quiet, Too

Why it works: Not all confidence is loud. Some children shine by preparing quietly and leading gently. That’s not shyness, it’s strength.

Try this:

• Create “backstage” confidence moments: help them prep for a class talk with cue cards or rehearse a social scenario with stuffed animals.

• Praise thoughtful acts: “You noticed Ella was left out. That’s real leadership.”

• Remind them: confidence isn’t always about being first, it’s about being ready.

• Affirm those quiet moments when you notice behaviour that is helpful to others.

A Final Word

Confidence is not a personality trait—it’s a learnt skill. And like any skill, it grows best with practice, praise, and patience. Every child will be different in how they show confidence and for some it is a slow, steady progress. We need to be patient.

You don’t need to push your child to be the loudest, the fastest, or the most outgoing. You just need to show them they’re seen, heard, and capable, especially when they doubt it. Let them develop their voice in their own time.

Start small. Celebrate progress. And trust that each brave step they take, no matter how tiny, is shaping a stronger future.

Teach your child to have a go and to be a risk taker

Just because you do not know something is not a reason for avoiding the situation or perhaps going around the problem. We want our children to have an embedded belief locked into them. They need to feel confident to have a go and take a risk. If a child automatically puts themselves forward when a challenge comes their way they have learnt how to learn.

Look at the following great advantages of being a child who takes risks.

1. Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem
   Advantage: Taking risks helps children believe in themselves and feel more confident. They grow in self esteem.

2. Encourages Problem-Solving Skills
   Advantage: Risk-taking teaches kids to find solutions when things don't go as planned. It is a natural process for them to keep trying different ways and means of getting solutions.

3. Fosters Creativity and Innovation
   Advantage: Trying new things sparks creativity and helps kids come up with new ideas. Once you start something different, new ideas and concepts grow.

4. Promotes Independence and Resilience
   Advantage: Taking risks makes kids more independent and resilient when facing challenges. They are not anxious about making mistakes but in fact see them as part of the learning process.

5. Develops a Positive Attitude Towards Learning
   Advantage: Being willing to have a go creates a positive attitude towards learning new things. Once a learner always a learner.

As a parent your child will observe how you embrace risk taking in your life. Invite your child into discussing all sorts of options that involve having a go and taking a risk. Enjoy this adventure together.

‘Don’t let what you don’t know stop you from having a go’

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