Mental well being needs to be nourished over the years

There is no quick fix to building a healthy mental state with our children. Slow steady consistent habits developed in your family can be great boosters for mental health.

Consider:

• Affirm the small achievements.

  They do not need to be on a large scale but you recognize in your child some simple milestones that they have made. That could be at school, sporting efforts, improved attitudes, showing generosity, demonstrating gratitude etc.

• Give them the liberty of talking about issues.

  Sometimes we jump in fairly quickly and can place judgement on what they have to say. Just be an effective listener without showing strong opinions and let the conversation flow. You may learn something interesting.

• Play and enjoy their childhood.

  A happy child who plays often and lives in a world where they can be creative and free show a greater ability to be less stressed throughout life. We all need a good childhood. Play with them.

• Gradually build their independence.

  From birth, a child is working to be more independent. Your support in giving them small opportunities as the years go by, will give them personal satisfaction in managing themselves. As they grow in independence, they feel emotionally in charge and ready for more challenges. They accept failure more easily and see it as a learning curve.

• Let them think critically

  A critical thinking child develops strong emotional independence. Talk frequently to your child and let them ask questions often. Guide them in thinking about optional viewpoints and keep their minds open to new ideas. A closed mind is dangerous

A child who learns to inquire about life is not frightened about the challenges it offers. In fact they invite them.

“Those foundation years need ongoing nourishment and enrichment to keep developing good mental health.”

— Gail J Smith

Developing good mental health in your child

We hear much about the importance of strengthening our children's mental health. We understand that in childhood there are certain cues that can activate positive thoughts about themselves. Here are some suggestions to strengthen your child's mental health on those sensitive early years.

Consider:

• Be a talkative family that likes to openly discuss everything. Do this from an early age. They need to feel they can talk to you about their problems.

• Demonstrate healthy ways to cope with stress and emotions, as children often

  mimic their parents. Look more on the brighter side of life when working

  through problems.

• Provide structure with consistent daily routines to create a sense of stability

  and security.

• Help your child build strong, supportive friendships and connections with

  family members. Let them invite friends into your house. Accept all their

  friends they will come and go over the years.

• Encourage regular exercise, which can boost mood and overall mental well-

  being. Join them in games and physical exercise.

• Introduce simple mindfulness exercises or relaxation techniques to help your

  child manage stress. This can be done as a routine with the family. Make it an

  enjoyable time together.

• Monitor and limit the amount of time your child spends on screens to ensure

  they engage in diverse activities. Leading an active family life will help cut

  down this time.

• Support your child in exploring and developing their interests and talents. Show interest in their passions and hobbies no matter how unusual they may

  seem to you.

• Acknowledge and praise your child's efforts and achievements to build their

  self-esteem. Find the time to catch them when they are good even over small

  deeds.

• Spend quality time with your child, showing that you are there for them and

  interested in their lives. Always keep promises that you will follow up with

  conversations.

When a child lives in an environment that gives them the scope to express themselves in different ways they learn to be creative which is such a stress buster and a wonderful way to nurture good mental health.

“The foundation to good mental health in a child is to feel safe and happy in themselves.”

— Gail J Smith

Nurturing Your Child's Well-Being: A Guide for Parents to Cultivate Hope and Resilience

In the whirlwind of modern parenting, nurturing a child’s well-being has taken on new dimensions. With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. As a parent, you play a pivotal role in guiding and supporting your child on this journey towards well-being. Here are some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet sometimes challenging endeavour.

1. Encourage Open Communication

   Communication is the cornerstone of understanding your child's world. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and emotions. Such an environment will give your child the liberty to talk freely and to feel that their opinions and ideas are valued. This environment places no judgement and is open to listen at all times

2. Foster a Supportive Environment

   Children flourish when they feel supported. Whether it's a difficult maths problem or a problem with a friend, show your child that you're there to offer guidance and encouragement.  Achievements are to be celebrated as much as the effort that is put into activities. Such a supportive environment is also one that makes a child feel safe being around reliable and trusted people.

3. Prioritise Mental and Physical Health

   A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Encourage regular physical activity, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep. There many ways to work on mental and physical health and your modelling is very important here. A child needs to see that you value your own good health and well being. Talk about healthy ideas and associate with environments that nourish positive thinking about eating well and living well.

4. Instil Resilience and Coping Skills

   Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching your child to navigate these fluctuations is a priceless gift. Resilience is such a key catalyst in building emotional maturity. Teach your child how failure can be a positive growth curve and that we learn best by taking risks and having a go. Putting ourselves in challenging situations is also another way of learning resilience.

5. Set Realistic Expectations

   While it's natural to want the best for your child, it's crucial to set realistic expectations. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. It is most important to learn about balance and to recognise what is a realistic challenge for your child. Take care that they set goals that are within reach. Progressive success along the way is the best form of encouragement.

6. Lead by Example

   Children often emulate the behaviours they observe in their parents. Show them how you handle stress, make decisions, and maintain a positive outlook. Being a model can be tiring and so your child simply wants your honest efforts put forward. Be authentic, when you make a mistake be honest about it but let your child know how you keep trying.

Well being is a life long journey of discovery about yourself. As a parent you have the joy of being such an important part of their early well being. You cannot be  perfect in this area in fact if you try too hard you will wear yourself out and feel frustrated by your lack of achievements. Simply be yourself and take care to provide a climate that is inviting and welcoming to your growing child.

‘A happy home is full of grace and well being’

- Gail J Smith

A happy child makes us all feel the joy of youth.

Here are five needs that a child once fulfilled will be content

1. Love and Support
   A happy child needs love, care, and unwavering support from family and caregivers.

2. Opportunities for Play and Exploration
   Children thrive when they have ample opportunities for play and exploration in a safe and stimulating environment.

3. Positive Reinforcement and Encouragement
   Encouraging words, praise, and positive reinforcement contribute to a child's happiness and confidence.

4. Healthy Relationships and Connection
   Building healthy relationships and fostering strong connections with family and friends are crucial for a child's happiness.

5. Sense of Security and Stability
   A stable and secure environment provides the foundation for a child's happiness and well-being.

‘Never underestimate that your attention, respect, confidence and security given to your child are building a very happy person.’

Gail J Smith

Nurturing Emotional Intelligence in Children: Emphasising Emotional Care

As a parent, your emotional world has a profound impact on your child's emotional intelligence. By providing emotional care and support, you can help your child develop stable, consistent, patient, and reliable emotional skills, enabling them to navigate the world with greater understanding and empathy.

Here are some practical suggestions to help nurture your child's emotional intelligence:

1. Teach Emotional Literacy: Use age-appropriate language and concepts to help your child identify and understand their emotions. Engage in activities such as using emotion charts, role-playing scenarios, or storytelling to encourage your child to express and recognize their feelings effectively.

2. Cultivate Mindfulness: Introduce mindfulness practices to your child, such as deep breathing exercises or guided meditation. Encourage them to appreciate the present moment and help them incorporate mindfulness into their daily routine. For example, you can have a mindful minute together before starting a new task or enjoy a brief morning run, appreciating nature and its surroundings.

3. Foster Social-Emotional Learning: Encourage your child to learn valuable lessons from their everyday social experiences. Teach them to consider different perspectives, be open to others' opinions, and practice inclusivity in their thoughts and actions. Engage in meaningful discussions about their interactions, to help them develop empathy and understanding towards others.

4. Promote Empathy-Building Activities: Share ideas for activities that promote empathy, such as engaging in perspective-taking exercises, participating in community volunteering, or collaborating on group projects. Discuss how these activities can help your child understand different viewpoints and develop compassion for others. Consider joining a group or organisation together to reinforce the value of empathy and caring for others.

5. Teach Conflict Resolution Skills: Guide your child in resolving conflicts peacefully and constructively. Encourage active listening, compromise, and problem-solving discussions when conflicts arise, such as those between siblings. Use these moments as opportunities to practice simple conflict resolution techniques, helping your child develop valuable skills in managing disagreements.

6. Be a Positive Role Model: Serve as an influential adult who models emotional intelligence for your child. Demonstrate empathy, self-control, and effective communication in your interactions with others. Be mindful of your own emotional responses and provide a supportive, nurturing environment that encourages your child's emotional growth.

Remember, nurturing emotional intelligence is a gradual process that requires emotional care, patience, and wisdom from caring parents. By exposing your child to emotionally mature adults and providing a safe and loving environment, you empower them to interpret the world with greater empathy, understanding, and resilience. Hence they become more emotionally mature.

‘Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.’

                                                                                               - Jess Lair

Nine Proactive Strategies for Fostering Mental Health in Children

Promoting mental health in children is of utmost importance, particularly in our current world.

Here are several insightful strategies that can be employed to nurture and sustain mental well-being in our young ones:

1. Demonstrate Positive Emotions: Being a consistent source of happiness and positivity around your child is critical. Let your joy radiate visibly, providing them with a secure feeling that everything is alright. Your smile can serve as a comforting reassurance.

2. Encourage Physical Activity: Exercise is known to boost mood and overall well-being. Engage in regular physical activities with your child and make it a family routine. This not only benefits their physical health but also their mental state.

3. Cultivate a Love for Music: Music has a profound impact on our emotions and can uplift the spirit. Incorporate a variety of music into your family life, utilising it as a background score to your everyday activities. This creates an ambience of positivity and serves as an effective stress reliever.

4. Foster Positive Associations: Direct your child's attention to the good things happening around them. Discuss amusing anecdotes, talk about jovial and optimistic individuals you know, and celebrate the positive aspects of life.

5. Promote Generosity: Demonstrate to your child the power of giving. Instilling a sense of generosity can enhance their mental well-being and give them a broader perspective on life. You can exemplify this through simple actions like donating toys they've outgrown.

6. Encourage Proper Rest: Adequate sleep is crucial for a child's mental and physical health. It helps their brain process the day's activities and sets them up for optimal performance the next day.

7. Teach Healthy Recreation: Equip them with various recreational activities like sports, reading, or simply relaxing. These pursuits can help them carve out mental space for themselves when needed. Your role modelling in this area is vital.

8. Cultivate a Sense of Humour: Encourage them to appreciate the lighter side of life. Too often we focus on the negatives or the potential risks, but teaching them to find humour can provide them with a more balanced view of life.

9. Nurture Social Relationships: Facilitate the presence of your child's friends in their lives. Friendships play a significant role in their social development, and your active involvement in fostering these relationships can be highly beneficial.
   
   Above all, it's crucial to create an environment where positivity thrives, life is cherished, and the world is perceived as a beautiful place to live. By being such a parent, you can positively shape your child's outlook and foster their mental health.

‘Life is always better with a smile on your face’

                    - Gail J Smith

So, let’s talk about mental health.

We are talking quite a lot about the mental health of our children especially during these difficult times living through the pandemic. There is no doubt that anxiety can be present all around us in varying ways. The news, negative discussion amongst family members, statistics every day and so the list goes on to suggest that mounting anxiety can occur.

Your child will, of course, be processing all the news they hear. They will also read the signs you give them through your concerns and let us not forget the very visible presence of wearing masks each day. The mere fact that they are working from home and online presents its own worries and is another example of how isolating it is as a way of life.

We cannot dismiss the above,  but we can put in place certain behaviours and actions that help a child cope during these difficult times. It is all about finding strong coping skills during these difficult times.

Consider the following which I believe may have some ideas for you to consider in reducing some anxiety for your child.

We are talking quite a lot about the mental health of our children especially during these difficult times living through the pandemic.

• Be happy. Show them some optimistic news such as the numbers reducing. A smile makes such a difference. It is a great feel-good tool.

• Talk about the wonders of modern science and how a vaccine will be developed that will combat the pandemic.

• Keep busy. Idol time has a way of inflating anxiety.

• Set up a schedule where you all are aware of how the day will be spent. Ensure that it is variable and the child has to focus on different directions throughout the day.  The more you shift and change thinking, the more rethinking is necessary for the child.

• Put into it elements of surprise to keep them guessing.

• Play a lot and laugh a lot. There is so much humour to be found with and around children.

• Watch humorous movies that bring the family together and show the funny side of life. This, of course, includes reducing individual time with intense computer games.

• Is there a significant family project that you can work on? For example, can they paint their bedroom with assistance? Are they able to make a go-cart? Projects that take time and effort can be so much fun. They are impressive because of their scale.

• Read more stories to your child. Is there a family time when everyone reads together?

• I have mentioned before the value of playing together. Here I add the value of being physical together. This could be playing football, soccer etc. Contact games are a wonderful way to disconnect from problems. The physical exercise releases all the necessary chemicals to genuinely feel better.

• Playing music that you can share together and dance for some families can be a great release.

The suggestions are just a few ideas. Think about what makes your family happy and focus on building that happiness up on a regular basis.

“What mental health needs is more sunlight, more candor, more unashamed conversation.”

— Glenn Close

Emptiness can be a virtue

With all that is going on at the moment parents are actively filling hours with busy activities and ensuring some of these hours have an educational basis to them. It is easy to feel that emptiness is a waste of time and a chance for real idleness to step in. Here we are challenging this thought. How much responsibility do we have as competent parents to fill in those busy hours for our children?

Our children live very busy lives both in and outside coronavirus times. As parents, we become focussed on ensuring that time is well spent and that by the end of the day, we can justify significant hours in useful exercises. I understand that a busy, active mind keeps idle fingers at bay.

Here I am also suggesting that creating space where children can create their own entertainment etc. can also be seen as a valuable tool. Busy people need breaks. A child needs time to think about what drives them in interests and what keeps them happy. Yes, I appreciate that distractions such as social media, television etc. can be a problem. I also believe that a child simply needs space to think freely and not be controlled by what we, the parents think is a valuable use of time.

Have you ever watched how free and engaged children are on the beach? We do not interrupt their play and enjoy seeing them just engage with nature and be happy in themselves. Here I am suggesting we bring that beach feeling into our home and legitimise the feeling that spare, independent time is acceptable and valued.

Often, we tend to be judgemental of how they use spare time. If they are not active, we think they are wasting valuable time. Sometimes just having spare time gives a child a chance to catch their breath and reflect on what they next want to do. Such spare time is undirected and is simply in the hands and control of the child. As parents, I suggest we are not critical of how they use that time and this gives them the freedom to feel that what they choose to do is totally up to them.

Think about ourselves. When we have spare time, do we want to be advised about how best to use that time? Often it is simply a chance to mentally enjoy respite from the busy days. Similarly, children deserve the right to have some time to themselves. It is a time to clear the head. It is all about just being a child and that may involve activities but also it may involve just a quiet time. It is a time for a brain rest. It is not about filling free time with busy activities.

Teachers often set free time in classrooms and they place no expectations on children. They see this time as an occasion to break from the pressures of the day and restore mental health before resuming activities. This can mean creating a vacancy in thinking which is quite refreshing before starting new work.

When working with children, I was very conscious of tapping into what the day had been for the child. If it had been very busy and overstimulating, I was reluctant to start conversations, especially towards the end of the day. The child needs mental respite from busy activities. Best to talk about matters when the child is mentally refreshed and interested.

In today’s world, we talk a lot about mindfulness and the readiness of people to take ownership of their own emotions by being at peace. I believe that creating a space that enables a person to mentally rest from stress or business helps restore a healthy more open attitude.

Similarly, a child needs mental space and the more we introduce and value their right to have it, the more emotionally capable they are in resolving matters. In this area, I believe they are no different from adults.

Consider the following:

• Morning is generally better to talk about matters if the child is refreshed and their thoughts uncluttered.

• Tiredness is not a time to talk about complicated issues. If you give your child some time to empty their mind, they are more receptive to listening with understanding.

• A child that values some mental space develops great habits in being mentally healthy. They grow to value their own sense of personal emptiness. They see it as an opportunity to feel mentally refreshed.

Never underestimate the value of creating some mental space for children. They have a right to own this space for themselves.

“Mental health is not a destination, but a process. It’s about how you drive, not where you’re going.”

— healthyplace.com

A child needs mental space and the more we introduce and value their right to have it, the more emotionally capable they are in resolving matters. In this area, I believe they are no different from adults.