The art of bringing happiness to your child
A happy child is one that feels secure and has strong supports around them that intelligently allow the child to grow in an environment that is open, engaging and inclusive. As parents we try our best and the human side of us sometimes fails to hit the right mark. Here’s some tips to help bring happiness to your child - sometimes, in these stressful days, it’s important to help build a child’s level of happiness.
Accepting limitations and strengths for a child
A very young child at an egocentric stage, struggles with understanding that others can be better. With development and more self-awareness, they begin to start accepting themselves for who they are and recognising the bigger world around them. Read here for some different ways parents can help children to develop this awareness.
The importance of the child feeling safe
Children have a right to feel safe. The importance of feeling safe is critical to a healthy society and mental health. Small steps can be used to help your child feel safe and secure and small things can make them feel unsafe, even in their own home. Read here for some parenting tips and considerations.
Children who find school a struggle
Many children have times when they feel they are struggling not just with school but also with friends, home issues, siblings, etc. Children can and do have down times. If your child is struggling, read here for some tips.
A helpful child is a useful thing. I guess?
The home should be a place of rest, safety and feeling secure in a child’s own skin. Of course duties around the house are important but should not overwhelm the child nor should they become a battleground with parents. I stress this as I have seen many unsettled children grow unhappy due to demands at home. Read here for considerations when setting chores at home.
Feeling overwhelmed? It can happen to our children.
When a child feels overwhelmed by too much information, they simply shut down as a defence. Children can become just as overwhelmed as adults. Read here on some strategies to help avoid anxiety in your children.
Always keep the bright side of situations as your focus
Parenting come with a sense of being cautious and protecting your child. Be less afraid of taking a risk and letting in some positive thoughts.
Being credible is such an important part in parenting
By nature of being a parent you are invited to present such fine qualities as credibility and trust to your child. Never underestimate that such an opportunity is also all about developing yourself as a fully rounded, emotionally intelligent person. Like it or not parenting forces us to grow up!
Are you planning everything around your children?
Downtime with the family is a vital time to replenish the family spirit, refresh relationships and simply enjoy each other’s company.
Being a mum - something to think about
I have learnt some precious realities in watching mums raise a family, live with it and through it, suffer all the hardships, carry the weak moments and rise above the troubled spots. Now that’s being a mum!
What will your child remember about you?
What do our children really think about us? Are they aware of all our efforts? Do they remember the little details and the extra efforts we make over the years? What is their level of appreciation of us the parents?
Let’s teach our children to enjoy what they have and not seek out more
No easy task for parents who want to teach their children how to enjoy what they have rather than seeking out the next improved item. Read here for some examples of how to teach children to value what they have.
The importance of getting support when needed
As parents, we simply don’t have all the answers. Just when we think we are on top of matters, our child surprises us with new challenges. It is mentally healthy to recognise that seeking help is an excellent response when needed.
Differences in families
‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’ -Audre Lorde
There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.
When home life changes
Family situations change through separation and divorce and children will feel this. The key point is to provide ongoing love, understanding, reassurance and stability in difficult times. Try to remember that whilst you are going through a personal crisis, there is no avoiding that your child will be experiencing emotionally charged times. Accept that you will need support and so to your child. Rely on family support and networks that will minimise some of the impacts.
Catching good behaviour isn’t that difficult
How often do we reward our children in spontaneous ways? Do we notice the various spontaneous occasions that can be rewarded and often through different ways?
Never underestimate the value of the positive words you use with your children. There is a clever way of getting even smarter with words and that is by picking up on spontaneous positive moments you notice.
Respect the difference each child brings to the family
Each child brings something different to the family. Each child is an individual and should be parented as an individual. Here are some thoughts on the matter from Gail Smith, The Primary Years.
Consider avoiding confrontation where possible.
As children grow older, you may find it better to avoid confrontations and find different ways to amend the situation. This is easier said than done sometimes. Here is some advice from Gail Smith, The Primary Years.
Who has rights in the family?
Everybody has rights in a family. No one is excluded from having rights, no matter what age or disposition. When we reflect more deeply on this, it can help us put things into perspective. Often, we can be overwhelmed by our role as parents and unsure about our rights in that role. We can sometimes wonder about the vulnerability of our children and what part we play in making them secure.
Just going with the flow could be the best option
Go with the flow! If we remain rigid in how we organise our lives, we will only experience disappointment and this will add to diminishing your mental health.