Teach our children to be courteous
There is a silent, steady power present in being courteous. You are stronger by nature of your courteous style. By treating someone with dignity no matter how different your thoughts are, there is little with which to argue. After all, they see how you accept them as legitimate. You accept their right to have a voice, which gives you a voice.
Give your child occasions to make choices
Children need occasions to make choices and grow to understand that in making choices we live with the consequences. Decision making can be taught as much as learnt on the run. For our children, teaching them that making their own decisions comes with the joy of owning the outcome and also learning from the outcome.
Managing children’s behaviour.
The household should have clear rules and be a place where the child can see you, the parent, living by the standards you set for them. Here are some tips to help manage children’s behaviour at home.
Differences in families
‘It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognise, accept and celebrate those differences.’ -Audre Lorde
There is much to be learnt when a child starts school. Their emotional and social growth is all the richer for embracing the wonderfully rich tapestry of different families across the years.
When home life changes
Family situations change through separation and divorce and children will feel this. The key point is to provide ongoing love, understanding, reassurance and stability in difficult times. Try to remember that whilst you are going through a personal crisis, there is no avoiding that your child will be experiencing emotionally charged times. Accept that you will need support and so to your child. Rely on family support and networks that will minimise some of the impacts.
Catching good behaviour isn’t that difficult
How often do we reward our children in spontaneous ways? Do we notice the various spontaneous occasions that can be rewarded and often through different ways?
Never underestimate the value of the positive words you use with your children. There is a clever way of getting even smarter with words and that is by picking up on spontaneous positive moments you notice.
Consider avoiding confrontation where possible.
As children grow older, you may find it better to avoid confrontations and find different ways to amend the situation. This is easier said than done sometimes. Here is some advice from Gail Smith, The Primary Years.
How to deal with giving consequences for problem behaviour
I totally dislike the word Punishment. It has such dark and serious connotations and for a child it can be quite overwhelming when they hear there will be punishment for bad actions. How about saying there will be some consequences for poor behaviour. Here are some important aspects of dealing with problem behaviour that should be understood when managing negative behaviour with children.
Do you have a desire or special message you wish to deliver to your children?
There is an old saying, ‘the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.’ Your child will be strongly influenced by your image and how this image is portrayed in their young lifetime, will determine how much of it is finally adopted. Family values are important. Read here for some factors to consider. Gail Smith, The Primary Years.