The value of building independence in our children
Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger. Discover with Gail Smith why encouraging your child's independence is a hallmark of good parenting.
Doing things for our children is a natural part of our role as parents. We do know however that the more we encourage independence in our children, the faster they learn and the more confidence they gain in themselves. Sometimes giving more independence can be scary as they may take risks, venture into the unknown without you and discover new horizons on their own.
Be that as it may, you want your child to be slowly and steadily finding their own way, forging their own direction. Consider the following reasons why encouraging independence with your child is a sign of good parenting.
Teaching Independence builds Confidence and Self-Esteem: Teaching independence allows children to accomplish tasks on their own, fostering a sense of achievement. As they successfully navigate challenges independently, their confidence and self-esteem naturally grow, laying a strong foundation for a positive self-image. The more confident a child becomes, the quicker they learn.
Being independent promotes Problem-Solving Skills: Encouraging independence requires children to think critically and problem-solve. When they face challenges without immediate assistance, they learn to analyze situations, make decisions, and find solutions, honing valuable problem-solving skills that will benefit them throughout life. They learn to make mistakes and move on quickly.
Independence fosters Responsibility and Accountability: Independence goes hand-in-hand with responsibility. When children are entrusted with age-appropriate tasks and responsibilities, they learn to take ownership of their actions. This sense of accountability contributes to the development of a responsible and conscientious mindset. From an early age you can teach your child to be responsible whether its sorting toys, cleaning rooms or managing money, it all counts.
Independence encourages Initiative and Creativity: Independent children are more likely to take initiative and explore their interests. By allowing them the freedom to pursue activities on their own, you nurture a spirit of curiosity and creativity. This independence encourages them to discover their passions and express their unique selves without interference.
Independence prepares for Future Challenges: Teaching independence equips children with essential life skills necessary for adulthood. From basic self-care tasks to decision-making and time management, independent children are better prepared to face the challenges of adolescence and adulthood. This preparation instils resilience and adaptability, essential qualities for navigating the complexities of life. The world they grow into is far different from their parent’s world and will require a new set of skills in certain areas.
Just as a child grows and changes, so too should our parenting. We need to evolve as a parent and recognize that our child will gradually seek independence. We demonstrate understanding by supporting their independence and respecting their choices and we are happy to work with them as we gradually remove ourselves, as dependency on us decreases.
“Start giving your child a sense of control. Build independence in them so they grow stronger.”
Listening to your children is incredibly important for several reasons
Talk less, listen more next time when you are having a conversation with your children. Consider the following reasons why active listening is so important by Gail Smith.
We all need to feel heard. We need to express our needs to gain help. Children get the support they need by being listened to from a caring and patient parent. Consider the following reasons why active listening is so important:
Building Trust and Connection: When you listen attentively to your children, it strengthens the bond between you. It shows them that their thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter, creating a foundation of trust and openness in your relationship. Children feel safer when being really listened to effectively.
Developing Healthy Communication Skills: By actively listening, you teach your children the importance of effective communication. They learn how to express themselves, articulate their thoughts, and engage in meaningful conversations. Children enjoy being around a child that listens well. They feel reassured and valued.
Boosting Self-Esteem and Confidence: When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their self- esteem. It gives them the confidence to express themselves without fear of judgement, nurturing their sense of self-worth. Being truly heard means that you value that person and believe that what they have to say has credibility.
Understanding Their World: Listening to your children helps you understand their world better. It provides insights into their interests, concerns, and challenges, allowing you to offer guidance and support tailored to their needs. You form better relationships with your child when you understand and appreciate their world.
Building Emotional Intelligence: Listening well nurtures emotional intelligence in children. They learn to identify and express their emotions, leading to better self-regulation and empathy towards others.
Encouraging Problem-Solving Skills: Active listening teaches children problem-solving skills. By allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings, they learn to analyze situations and find solutions independently. This is all about believing in themselves and having trusting people around them that listen.
Strengthening Parent-Child Relationship: When children feel heard and valued, it strengthens the parent-child relationship. It creates a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their joys and concerns, leading to a deeper connection.
Setting the tone of conversation: When you listen well you are often calm and talk in a comfortable, unstressed manner. This sets the scene for a relaxed and peaceful chat that has value to your child.
By setting up a culture of listening well to your child, you set the scene for an environment where conversation is encouraged and where everyone feels valued and makes contributions.
“Listen well to your child. They will return this compliment later.”
Nurturing Your Child's Well-Being: A Guide for Parents to Cultivate Hope and Resilience
With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. Read on for some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet challenging endeavour.
In the whirlwind of modern parenting, nurturing a child’s well-being has taken on new dimensions. With the challenges children face today, from academic pressures to social media’s influence, fostering their mental and emotional health has never been more important. As a parent, you play a pivotal role in guiding and supporting your child on this journey towards well-being. Here are some strategies and insights to help you in this enriching yet sometimes challenging endeavour.
Encourage Open Communication
Communication is the cornerstone of understanding your child's world. Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their thoughts and emotions. Such an environment will give your child the liberty to talk freely and to feel that their opinions and ideas are valued. This environment places no judgement and is open to listen at all times
Foster a Supportive Environment
Children flourish when they feel supported. Whether it's a difficult maths problem or a problem with a friend, show your child that you're there to offer guidance and encouragement. Achievements are to be celebrated as much as the effort that is put into activities. Such a supportive environment is also one that makes a child feel safe being around reliable and trusted people.
Prioritise Mental and Physical Health
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Encourage regular physical activity, nutritious meals, and adequate sleep. There many ways to work on mental and physical health and your modelling is very important here. A child needs to see that you value your own good health and well being. Talk about healthy ideas and associate with environments that nourish positive thinking about eating well and living well.
Instil Resilience and Coping Skills
Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching your child to navigate these fluctuations is a priceless gift. Resilience is such a key catalyst in building emotional maturity. Teach your child how failure can be a positive growth curve and that we learn best by taking risks and having a go. Putting ourselves in challenging situations is also another way of learning resilience.
Set Realistic Expectations
While it's natural to want the best for your child, it's crucial to set realistic expectations. Each child is unique and has their own pace of development. It is most important to learn about balance and to recognise what is a realistic challenge for your child. Take care that they set goals that are within reach. Progressive success along the way is the best form of encouragement.
Lead by Example
Children often emulate the behaviours they observe in their parents. Show them how you handle stress, make decisions, and maintain a positive outlook. Being a model can be tiring and so your child simply wants your honest efforts put forward. Be authentic, when you make a mistake be honest about it but let your child know how you keep trying.
Well being is a life long journey of discovery about yourself. As a parent you have the joy of being such an important part of their early well being. You cannot be perfect in this area in fact if you try too hard you will wear yourself out and feel frustrated by your lack of achievements. Simply be yourself and take care to provide a climate that is inviting and welcoming to your growing child.
‘A happy home is full of grace and well being’
- Gail J Smith
Prepare well for the new year
Beyond the holiday joys, discover exciting ways to usher in the new year with your family in a truly meaningful and memorable manner.
Here are some ideas to start us thinking about creative ways to introduce our children to 2024. With each new year comes opportunities to change, shift thinking, grow in different directions, challenge current ideas etc. Perhaps some suggestions may set you in a new direction as you prepare for what’s ahead.
Family Vision Board Party: Set up a family vision board to set intentions and aspirations for the year ahead. Gather magazines, art supplies, and create vision boards together, depicting hopes, dreams, and goals for each family member.
New Year's Eve Time Capsule: Create a time capsule filled with small mementos, notes, or drawings representing memorable moments from the past year. Seal it and set a date to open it together next year to reminisce and see how much has changed. Place it in a safe and memorable place easy to access.
Setting Family Resolutions: Discuss and set family resolutions together. Encourage everyone to share one goal or resolution they'd like to achieve throughout the year. It's a fun way to support each other's aspirations.
Reflective Family Dinner: Host a reflective family dinner where everyone shares their favourite memories from the past year. Make it festive by dressing up, cooking a special meal, and enjoying quality time together. Keep it upbeat and the memories positive.
Gratitude Jar for the New Year: Start a gratitude jar specifically for the new year. Each day, encourage family members to write down something they're grateful for and place it in the jar. By the end of the year, read and reflect on the abundance of blessings collected.
Family Meeting and Planning: Hold a family meeting to discuss plans and activities for the upcoming year. Brainstorm ideas for vacations, outings, or special family events, allowing everyone to contribute to the planning process.
Family diary: Set up a calendar for the new year. Make it very visible and invite family to start writing up events that they know about. Make it a discussion piece so that the family can discuss whether there are too many busy events etc.
House remodeling: Is there any changes you need to make in the home to improve conditions for your growing family? Perhaps discuss where study areas are allocated and how entertainment areas will work for the year. Think about how you can improve movement and circulation around the house for all the family.
The New Year should be a time where we start to reflect on our hopes and aspirations for the new year. We all seek to keep growing and improving. We recognize that our children are changing and we take that into consideration as we reflect on our needs and expectations for the forthcoming months.
“Each year we begin again. A chance to refresh ourselves on so many levels.”
The value of spending time and having fun with your child
With no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company, having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships.
Having fun with your child is all about finding quality time that is a such a precious and valuable way of building lasting and healthy relationships. Positive memories of childhood are often seen through those wonderful relaxed times, with no expectation placed on you other than enjoying each other’s company. Consider the following thoughts that give good reasons why this is valuable time spent in the company of your child.
Building Strong Emotional Bonds
Emotional Connection:
Spending quality time creates a strong emotional bond between you and your child. It fosters trust and security, which is essential for their emotional development. There is nothing more exhilarating than simply playing with your child.
Nurturing Self-Esteem and Confidence
Boosting Self-Esteem:
Engaging in fun activities with your child helps them feel valued and important. Positive interactions and shared experiences contribute to building their self-esteem and confidence. They feel secure and confident that they are valued and that your time with them is precious.
Enhancing Communication and Understanding
Open Communication:
Quality time together often leads to better communication. It offers opportunities for meaningful conversations and understanding each other's thoughts, feelings, and interests. You are more inclined to listen to each other and to be less intimidated by what they have to say.
Promoting Mental and Emotional Well-being
Reducing Stress and Anxiety:
Fun activities and shared experiences can reduce stress and anxiety, both for the child and the parent. Laughter and play contribute to a positive emotional state. The less stress the better and safer the environment for the child. We think more clearly and act more responsibly when less stressed.
Creating Lasting Memories and Values
Building Memories and Values:
The time spent together creates lasting memories that your child will cherish. It also helps instil important values, such as the significance of relationships and having fun in life. Never underestimate the imprint you make as your child builds their tapestry of memories. It is well known that happy spontaneous moments can easily become life long memories.
We sometimes can become preoccupied with providing full on activities and experiences for our children. Remember that for them images of being together with you, relaxed and happy is the key to sharing lasting joy together. One of my most vivid and happy childhood memories is my grandmother putting a red tea towel on her head and doing a Spanish dance around the kitchen.
I was six!
‘Have fun with your child. There is much to gain for both of you.’
- Gail J Smith
Speaking well to children
What we say and how we say it has such an impact on our child. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.
It’s amazing! What we say can have such an impact on our children. Our tone of voice, volume, even speed of speaking can send messages to our children. They are always looking for cues and clues in how you speak to determine how emotionally safe they are and to feel reassured. Consider the following thoughts about the positive impact speaking well has on your child.
When we use encouraging and positive words, it helps your child feel good about themselves. They grow up feeling confident and sure of who they are. Everyone likes and needs to hear positive talk about themselves.
Speaking kindly builds a beautiful bond between you and your child. It's like wrapping them in a warm, comforting hug. It helps them know they're loved and understood.
When we talk to them with love and respect, it creates a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings. In that space they will come to you more often, especially when anxious about matters.
Using gentle words helps them learn how to express themselves better. It's like giving them a key to open the door to clear and easy conversations. They will model your style of language and feel very comfortable in a style that is built around caring words.
When we use uplifting words, it's like planting seeds of confidence in their hearts. They start believing in themselves and become their own biggest fans. Personal self worth grows stronger around comfortable speech.
Fostering a Cozy Nest: Using gentle words wraps them in a cozy blanket of security and love. It's like creating a safe haven where they feel accepted and cherished.
Sowing Seeds of Kindness: By speaking with warmth, we teach them the power of kindness and respect. They grow to prefer that way of speaking and adopt it comfortably themselves.
How we talk to our children is a direct statement about how we value and respect them. When feeling unsure and unsettled try walking away and saying nothing until you are calmer. It makes such a difference to the outcome.
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”
Enjoyable reasons to rest and celebrate family after Christmas:
After a bustling year and festive celebrations, now it’s time to savour the leisurely days of summer with your family. Read on for inspiring ideas to enrich those family experiences.
Enough is enough. You have had a busy year. Now it’s time to savour those rolling days of summer with your family. Consider the ideas below to enrich those family experiences.
Exploring New Adventures: Post-Christmas holidays are a perfect time for spontaneous adventures. It's like setting sail on an unplanned journey, discovering hidden gems in your own backyard or exploring nearby attractions. Find the new feeling to holidays.
Creating. Crafty Fun: Get crafty and unleash creativity with family projects. It's like an artsy workshop, where you turn leftover wrapping paper into handmade cards or transform pine cones into adorable decorations.
Appreciating Slow Mornings: Enjoy lazy mornings without rush or schedules. It's like savouring a hot cup of cocoa while wearing pyjamas until noon – relishing those precious moments of peacefulness. Simply slow down.
Reflecting on the year past: Have fun talking about the adventures, mishaps and funny moments of the last year. It is good to reflect as it helps you think about plans and goals for the new year.
Playing games together: When you are well rested you are more inclined to play together and enjoy those relaxed happy moments. You will laugh more and be a little mindful of the precious times you are spending together as a family.
“Roll out those lazy, hazy crazy days of Summer”
Let’s bring the warmth of Christmas into our family
Keep the Christmas spirit alive in the family. Explore unique ideas within these reflections to find out how.
These reflections are about how you can keep the spirit of Christmas alive in the family. Some may spark ideas which are unique for your family.
Creating Lasting Memories: Embrace the opportunity to create lasting memories with your children during this festive season. Laugh, enjoy each other’s company and play together.
Nurturing Traditions: Embrace and cherish family traditions that bring joy and unity. This could be about decorating the tree or cooking traditions. It doesn’t matter how simple and uncomplicated the rituals are just own them as your own.
Fostering Gratitude and Generosity: Talk about those people that have had an impact on you this year. Encourage lots of thank yous and recognition of other people’s efforts in your life.
Embracing Togetherness: Embrace the joy of being together as a family. This is the time to spend mote time together. It can be idle time or coordinated. It’s about the quality of time spent together that matters.
Finding Peace and Reflection: Amidst the hustle and bustle, take moments for peaceful reflection. Enjoy having some mental space and let go of some unresolved matters. Free yourself up mentally over Christmas. You need that respite.
Cultivating Hope and Optimism: Adopt a happy disposition and talk hopefully about the new year. Let your child feel that all the effort made throughout the year is worth it.
Embracing Simplicity and Graciousness: Embrace simplicity and graciousness in celebrations. It's not about extravagance but about the love and warmth shared among family and friends.
Teaching the Joy of Giving: Teach your children the joy of giving. Whether it's through small gestures or volunteering, instill the joy of making a positive difference in somebody's life. There are many charity organization out and about at the moment and needing assistance.
Treasuring the Present Moments: So much fun and happy moments can happen over these relaxing times. Enjoy it all. Look for those spontaneous moments of joy.
Sharing Family Stories: Share family stories and anecdotes from your own childhood or heritage. These stories help connect generations and instill a sense of belonging and pride in family history.
The list above is not meant to be onerous. Just think about the uniqueness of your family and use opportunities to embrace each other and celebrate what makes you special.
We wish all families a merry Christmas
Christmas Home Decorations - Rituals And Happy Memories
The home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas can have long-term value and memory-making moments for your children.
There is magic in Christmas for all children. Fantasy, dreams and excitement mount. The build up brings incredible joy and imaginations run rife. When the family decorates the tree and house in bright lights and colours, the home environment takes on a special magic for your child. Here are some thoughts about how your efforts in decorating for Christmas has so much long term value for your child.
Creativity and expression at Christmas time
Engaging in Christmas decorations encourages creativity and self-expression among children. They get to choose colours, designs, and arrangements, fostering their imaginative skills and allowing them to express themselves freely through decoration choices. This creative outlet can be a therapeutic way to channel emotions and thoughts positively. They will not forget the ritual of setting up the Christmas tree
Bonding and Togetherness
Decorating as a family cultivates a sense of togetherness and strengthens family bonds. Working together towards a shared goal, discussing decoration ideas, and collaborating on various aspects of decoration builds a sense of unity, fostering positive relationships. Memories are created from doing such fun family activities. The more involved they are the better.
Joy and Positive Emotions
The process of decorating for Christmas brings joy and excitement. The anticipation of the holiday season, the colourful lights, and cheerful decorations contribute to a positive atmosphere that can uplift spirits, reduce stress, and evoke feelings of happiness and contentment. It's all a positive time to feel good.
A Sense of Tradition and Belonging
Engaging in Christmas decorating traditions instils a sense of belonging and connection to something larger than oneself. Participating in these rituals and customs, passed down through generations, gives children a sense of identity, continuity, and stability, contributing to their emotional well-being. Never underestimate the importance of routine.
Mindfulness and appreciation
Decorating with the spirit of Christmas encourages mindfulness and appreciation for the present moment. Children learn to appreciate the beauty in small things, focusing on the joy of the activity and the happiness it brings rather than the material aspects.
Christmas can mean many things to different people. Above all it is about coming together and celebrating in some form. It is recognised as a reflective time for families and it can have an amazing calming and mentally stabilising effect for children. It is way of putting closure on the year and bringing together in a warm, comforting way all the feelings, emotions, experiences, joys and maybe sorrows that have been experienced and shared over the year.
Merry Christmas to all families in all shapes and forms.
Why formal education is so important
From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. Here are 8 reasons why formal education is essential for children.
From time to time people come up with the argument that formal school does not have value and that education at home could be adequate. It is also true to say that some people do not have fond memories of school and sadly there are sound reasons why that was the case. However, I am very much all for the advantages of formal learning sitting of course alongside the journey of learning that you the parents provide. When we have our doubts about formal school think about the following thoughts that remind us of what can be gained through formal schooling..
Foundation of Knowledge:
School provides the basic knowledge and skills needed to understand the world, like reading, writing, and basic maths. The formality of the classes comes with teacher’s training in techniques of teaching literacy. Parents work closely in conjunction with the school and enjoy those early years of their child opening their minds to reading.
Social Skills and Relationships:
It's where children learn to interact with others, make friends, and build essential social skills. The school yard is a miniature society where life happens and social engagements occurs.
Opportunities for Future Careers:
Education at school opens doors for various jobs and careers by providing a foundation of knowledge and qualifications. School provides networks where a student can access so much knowledge of what happens beyond school.
Critical Thinking and Problem-Solving:
School teaches how to think critically, solve problems, and make decisions, skills needed in everyday life. Teachers are well resourced to provide the best environment for this critical aspect of learning.
Personal Development:
It helps in developing discipline, time management, and responsibility, preparing kids for life as adults. The culture of the classroom and the social interpersonal experiences that happen each day are constantly feeding the maturation of personal development.
Understanding the World:
School exposes students to various subjects, cultures, and ideas, broadening their understanding of the world. There are many constant discussion etc on what the world is about through a school environment.
Health and Well-being:
It often includes education about health, nutrition, and exercise, promoting a healthier lifestyle. Also school offers children the opportunity to join teams etc.
Lifelong Learning:
It instils the value of continuous learning, encouraging a habit of learning throughout life. A classroom is a powerhouse of learning. Teachers use their talents to teach children all sorts of things and especially engage them in being independent learners.
‘Education is the passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today.’
Malcolm X
Be a little on the wild side and explore adventure with your child
Don't underestimate that what you expose your children to can have a fantastic impact on their intellectual and emotional growth. Read here to consider ideas and examples of how you can make a to your child’s life by being open to many ideas.
Adventures and surprises in doing varied and different things with your child is life giving and very stimulating for broader learning. Don't underestimate that what you expose your children to can have an amazing impact on their intellectual and emotional growth. Consider the following ideas and examples of how you can make a difference to your child’s life by being open to many ideas.
Fosters Learning and Curiosity:
Adventure and exploration stimulate a child's curiosity and love for learning, providing them with new knowledge and experiences.
Reason: Children become more adventurous and interested in change as you give them exposure and broad opportunities.
Example: Parents can take their child on educational trips to museums, zoos, or historical sites, encouraging them to ask questions and explore exhibits. Look at what is advertised around town and beyond.
Builds Resilience and Confidence:
Reason: Facing new challenges and unfamiliar situations helps children build resilience and self-confidence as they navigate and conquer obstacles. It’s all about exposing them to new moments in their life.
Example: Parents can enrol their child in a sports team, music lessons, or an art class, where they can develop skills and gain confidence in their abilities.
Encourages Independence:
Reason: Adventures allow children to make decisions and problem-solve independently, fostering a sense of self-reliance. Such independence builds emotional maturity and personal confidence. We want our children to feel that they can take control
Example: Parents can let their child plan a family day trip, where they research and choose the destination, create an itinerary, and lead the way.
Creates Lasting Memories:
Reason: Exploring new places and trying new activities can result in cherished family memories that bring joy for years to come. The more positive happy memories you have the greater longer term happy thoughts children have of growing up
Example: Parents can plan a family camping trip, complete with storytelling around the campfire and stargazing, creating memorable experiences.
Fosters Cultural Awareness:
Reason: Exposure to different cultures and traditions through travel can broaden a child's perspective and promote cultural understanding. In our global world today we need tolerance and understanding. The more your child is exposed to difference, the better informed that are about life.
Example: Parents can take their child on international trips or visit cultural festivals and events in their own community to embrace diversity. Check out some of the documentaries on other cultures and watch the program together.
Promotes a Sense of Wonder:
Reason: Adventure encourages children to see the world with wonder and excitement, fostering a lifelong appreciation for the beauty of the world. Surprise them by taking them to places that step away from comfort zones. Let them experience nature through touching, feeling, smelling and experiencing.
Example: Parents can take their child on nature hikes or expeditions, where they can discover the wonders of the natural world, such as unique plants, animals, and landscapes.
Be a parent who is open to difference and welcome ideas that are unique. Not everyone has to be an Indiana Jones but within your scope as a family look to what is possible and will stretch their imagination. You will enjoy this journey of discovery yourself.
Go a little on the wild side, be adventurous with your child.
-Gail J Smith
Six mini moments of joy and care to your child
Six ideas for giving mini moments of support and encouragement to your child.
Here are some ideas for giving mini moments of support and encouragement to your child. It is amazing how little encouragement along the way can make all the difference for your child. It doesn’t have to be long and protracted. It just needs to be spontaneous and joyful where the child feels happy, reassured and valued.
Getting Closer: Hugging and comforting your child help you become closer, like best friends. It makes them feel safe and close to you.
Understanding Feelings: When your child is sad or mad, talking to them and comforting them helps them understand and deal with their feelings better.
Feeling Awesome: Saying nice things about what your child does, even if it's a small thing, makes them feel great about themselves. It’s all about positive talk.
Being Kind: When you show kindness to your child, like helping them when they're hurt or upset, they learn to be kind to others too. This develops empathy and sympathy.
Growing Healthy: Giving your child healthy food, playing with them, and helping them learn new things helps them grow strong and smart.
Happy Memories: Doing fun things with your child, like reading stories, baking cookies, or playing games, creates happy memories that they'll remember when they're older. Best to make wonderful long-term memories that will be recounted in their adulthood.
In simple terms, being a good parent means showing love, being there, and doing fun things with your child every day. These little moments of care add up to help your child feel loved while growing up happy and strong. Make it a habit to find occasions to provide those mini moments of care. They will soon add up to a wealth of encouragement.
‘Building blocks of life can start with mini moments of giving joy to your child.’
-Gail J Smith
Celebrate your efforts as the first educators of your child
Reflect on how you impact your child as the first and primary educator. The following blog discusses how you make all the difference.
As a parent doing their best, take a bow. You are the first and primary educators of your child and all your efforts will not go unnoticed by your child. The years of effort and the untiring work you put into the rearing of your child will come to fruition as they mature. Of course, the world is not a perfect place and all that should be asked of any parent is that you simply do your best. There will be influences along the way that will impact on your child-rearing work but being consistent and determined with your heart in the right place will win out on this occasion.
Let’s now reflect on how you impact your child as the first and primary educator. The following reasons show you why you make all the difference.
Foundation of Values and Morals: Parents instil their values, ethics, and morals in their children from an early age. It naturally happens that way. This foundation helps shape the child's character and guides them in making ethical decisions throughout their life. They are listening and learning from an early age.
Language and Communication Skills: Parents are the primary source of language development for children. They help children build their vocabulary, improve communication skills, and foster a love for reading and learning. Speak to them well and listen well to what they have to say. How you use your language skills will influence how they use their language skills to others.
Emotional Well-Being: Parents provide emotional support, love, and care that create a secure attachment in children. This secure attachment serves as a strong emotional foundation, promoting positive mental health and resilience. Your emotional support perhaps I should say, this emotional security is the foundation of building self-esteem.
Cultural and Religious Identity: Parents often pass down cultural and religious traditions, customs, and beliefs. This helps children understand their heritage and cultural identity, promoting a sense of belonging. All that you do which is ritual and contains family values will give your child stability and a connection to the past.
Early Learning and Curiosity: Parents stimulate a child's curiosity by answering questions, engaging in activities, and encouraging exploration. This early exposure to learning fosters a lifelong love for knowledge and learning. Being an active, engaging parent will provide the stimulus and interest in learning.
Responsibility and Work Ethic: Parents teach children about responsibility, work ethic, and the importance of setting and achieving goals. These lessons help children develop a strong sense of personal responsibility and motivation. Your modelling in this area happens on a daily basis. They observe how you live and how you live up to your expectations.
In essence, parents play a crucial role in shaping their child's values, identity, emotional well-being, and learning experiences. Being the first educators, they have a profound impact on their children's development, helping them become well-rounded individuals who are prepared to navigate the world with confidence and integrity. The ball is in your court. Enjoy the game.
‘Parents are teachers, and home is a child’s first and most important classroom.’
-Hillary Clinton
The fun of joint projects with your child
Activities are a great way to spend time together, showing you are keen to build a strong relationship with your child. Read this blog for some fun activity suggestions.
Finding good reasons to spend time together shows that you are keen to build a strong relationship with your child. Finding projects that you can share together is not only educational but leads you both on a journey of discovery together. Shared projects mean you are both actively engaged to discover and learn new things. What better way than to show your child how you value learning as much as them.
In a shared project there is give and take and lots of healthy questioning along the way. It means that conversations with your child are rich and lead to happy negotiations between the two of you.
To find joint projects, look at things you do at home that can be shared. Think about what motivates you and what will motivate your child. Once you have a good sense of an activity that you both will enjoy then go for it. The project does need to be wanted and accepted by both of you. It will fail if the passion wears off quickly. Think about how your family operates and what interests them enough to join in with you on project developments.
Here are some suggestions:
Gardening, setting up veggie areas together.
Building a small cubby house.
Fixing bikes and toys together
Cooking, experimenting with new recipes.
Doing a drawing course together.
Painting the child’s room together.
Building a major Lego set.
Sewing and learning about patterns.
Build a bird feeder.
Art and craft activities with toilet rolls etc.
Be involved in exercise together.
Nature activities, setting up equipment together.
Research together where next to go on holidays.
Develop a family scrapbook together.
The list is endless and is only limited by your imagination.
Together you are teaching your child more about the world, showing them new skills and deepening your relationship with them. You are also fostering teamwork and bonding. Your child needs to see how you value learning and want to share your wisdom with them.
‘Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.’
-Albert Einstein.
Crazy ideas to lighten the load and make a child’s feeling of school a happy one
Read the following blog for fun ideas that can brighten the week for everyone.
These ideas may just brighten the week for everyone.
The Early Riser Battle Plan: First down to the breakfast table after jobs are done scores points. The child with the most points at the end of the week gets a sleep-in on one of those days.
The "Stealth Mode" Lunch Packing: Want to surprise your kids with a special lunch? Practice your ninja skills and sneak some fun notes or treats into their lunchboxes. It's like being the undercover agent of parenting! Do it occasionally so that it really is a surprise.
Homework Hijinks: Turn homework into a game show! Buzz in for correct answers and use a giant foam hand to point out spelling mistakes. Your kids will be entertained, and their homework sessions will become a hilarious competition. Let them see that homework is a regular part of family life.
The Magic Cleanup Spell: Teach your kids a "magic" cleanup spell. Just wave a spatula in the air, say "Hocus Pocus Tidus Maximus," and watch as they tidy up their toys in record time.
The "Dance Party" Drop-off: Instead of the usual drop-off routine, have a dance party in the car before they go to school. Groove to their favourite tunes and see them off with a smile on their faces.
The "Mystery Bag" Snack: Prepare a "mystery bag" snack with unusual food items hidden inside. Let your child discover the surprise during lunchtime. It's like a mini food adventure every day!
Time Travel Transport: Turn school drop-off into a time travel adventure. Pretend your car is a spaceship or a time machine. "Buckle up, Captain, we're off to the future of knowledge!"
Math-a-Palooza: Practice math skills in unconventional ways. Use lollies as counting tools or measure ingredients for a baking session. Who knew learning could be so sweet and tasty?
Artistic Lunchbox Masterpieces: Level up your lunchbox game by creating art on the sandwich! Use food colouring to draw funny faces or animals. The kids will have a blast eating their edible masterpieces.
Parent-Teacher Comedy Show: Organize a fun parent-teacher comedy night where parents and teachers perform humorous skits about parenting challenges. Laughter is the best way to bond!
Being a parent is a challenge but also an absolute joy
Six great strategies to help parents see the enjoyable side of parenting.
Parenting can be challenging, but it is also a fulfilling and enjoyable journey.
Here are six great strategies to help parents see the enjoyable side of parenting: The process needs to be enjoyed and savoured as a unique part of your life.
Practise Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of parenting. Focus on the moments that brought joy and fulfilment, no matter how small they may seem. When you look at your child feel gratitude that they are looking back at you!
Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate your child's milestones, big or small, and recognise your role in their growth and development. Whether it's their first steps, a good grade at school, or simply mastering a new skill, acknowledging these accomplishments can bring joy and pride to both you and your child. Take photos and keep mementos of special occasions. Keep the fire alive in celebrating all sorts of situations.
Spend Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your child doing activities you both enjoy. Engaging in fun and playful activities together creates positive memories and strengthens the parent-child bond. Quality time can be short or long but needs to be regular and become a normal part of family life. Be active with your quality time. Games and sports are a great way of enjoying each other.
Find Humour in Parenting: Parenting can be filled with many humorous moments, and finding humour in everyday challenges can lighten the mood. Laughing about the messy situations or innocent remarks your child makes, can turn potentially stressful situations into amusing anecdotes. The world of parenting is messy and comes with all sorts of challenges. Keep the world of parenting light and see the beauty and humour of simple things. There it will be found.
Connect with Other Parents: Building a supportive network of other parents can be a great way to share experiences, advice, and humour. You need not be alone. Join parenting groups, attend social events, or connect with parents in your community to feel a sense of camaraderie and understanding. Laugh at yourself and your parenting style from time to time. Everyone will parent differently and that is fine.
Self-Care for Parents: Taking care of yourself is essential for enjoying parenting. Ensure you get enough rest, engage in hobbies or activities you love, and don't hesitate to ask for help when needed. When parents are well-rested and emotionally fulfilled, they are more likely to appreciate the enjoyable moments of parenting. Take breaks where necessary and see them as a time of respite. For this, you will parent much better.
Being a parent is an active, changing business. It comes with challenges that can be turned into great moments of discovery and joy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is true of parenting. You need to get in there hands and feet. Above all, enjoy the journey and keep reminding yourself of the preciousness of your role.
‘One of the greatest titles in the world is a parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mum and dad.’
-Jim DeMint
Time to remind yourself that being a parent is a wonderful experience
A reminder to cherish the wonders of being a parent.
Unconditional Love: Being a parent allows you to experience a deep and unconditional love for your child. Something unique and special develops between you and the child. It is precious. It is irreplaceable. You own it.
Example: Seeing your child's smiling face when they wake up in the morning or hearing their laughter when you play together fills your heart with pure joy.
Milestone Moments: As a parent, you get to witness and celebrate numerous milestone moments in your child's life. You are part of it and you can take pride in all your contributions over the years. Each achievement becomes a source of immense pride and happiness.
Example: Capturing the moment when your child takes their first step or saying their first words creates memories that you'll cherish forever.
Sense of Purpose: Parenting gives you a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Nurturing and guiding a child through life's challenges allows you to make a positive impact and shape their future.
Example: Knowing that you are raising a compassionate, kind, and responsible individual who will contribute positively to society, fills you with a sense of purpose and fulfilment.
Having a child in your life reignites the wonders of life through a child’s eyes. It awakens in us the child we were and it invites us to share in simple joys and pleasures. It clears the cobwebs that can develop as we plough through our adult life.
Example: Watching your child marvel at a rainbow or discover the beauty of a butterfly can remind you of the wonders that often go unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of adult life. They awaken in you the child and that is liberating.
Learning and Growing Together: Parenthood offers continuous opportunities for personal growth and learning. As you navigate the challenges and joys of raising a child, you gain valuable insights, patience, and resilience. Having another individual in your life that relies on you, needs care and understanding will demand from you your absolute attention. There is no escaping building tolerance, understanding, empathy etc.
Example: Overcoming sleepless nights, mastering the art of multitasking, and learning to be patient during tantrums are all experiences that help you grow and become a better version of yourself.
Emotional Satisfaction: Parenting brings immense emotional fulfilment. The love, laughter, and moments of connection you share with your child create a deep sense of happiness and contentment. How emotionally satisfying it is to see yourself in your child.
Example: Embracing your child in a warm hug after a long day or hearing them say, "I love you, Mom/Dad," can instantly fill your heart with overwhelming joy and gratitude. Enjoy those special little moments. They come spontaneously and frequently.
Creating Life Memories: Being a parent allows you to create lasting memories that you and your child will cherish throughout your lives. From family vacations to everyday adventures, these moments become the foundation of a lifetime of shared experiences.
Example: Going on a family road trip and exploring new places together, or even simple activities like baking cakes and having picnics in the park, become treasured memories that you can reminisce about in the future.
Building Strong Bonds: Parenthood enables you to build deep and lasting bonds with your child. The connection you form with them becomes an unbreakable bond that provides a source of strength, love, and support. You take them from dependence to independence and you build foundations that are unique to you and your child.
Example: Sharing quality time with your child, engaging in conversations, and being there for them during both good and challenging times strengthen your relationship and create a lifelong connection.
The journey you share with your child is likened to weaving a tapestry. There will be various shades that brighten and darken the work. Sometimes the weave will be thick and full of texture, and other times lighter and softly woven. It builds into a magical imagery of your life shared with your child that has been created lovingly over the years.
‘We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.’
-Henry Ward Beecher
Supporting our Upper Primary Students: Encouraging Growth and Independence
Raising teenagers can be a challenge, here are some tips on how to encourage growth and independence.
Have you noticed your older primary child wanting more independence? Sometimes they demand it, other times they just take it! It's natural for them to seek more freedom and change how they respond to school. Socialising with friends becomes important as they build their identity. The upper primary years can be challenging as they go through puberty.
As a parent, you might wonder how to best support them during this time of change. Here are some simple ideas:
Listen attentively. They need to be heard, and what they say may be changing!
Focus on their learning, not just their work. Are they doing homework regularly, using the library, or talking about projects?
Help with school projects. Assist them in researching topics and discussing their work.
Use adult language. Respect their maturity by avoiding baby talk. Try using new words and have fun conversations.
Encourage trying new things. Suggest exploring different sports or activities.
Watch the news together and discuss it. They can understand more complex ideas now.
Talk about time management. As school demands increase, discuss how they plan and cope.
Promote balance between school and recreation. Show them how to maintain a healthy lifestyle by engaging in activities together.
Provide emotional support. Understand their changing emotions and be there for them. Stay in touch with their teacher too.
Remember, as your child grows, your role as a parent will change too. Be a loving and attentive presence and listen to their needs.
‘Though it's bittersweet to see your child grow up, celebrate their bright spirit as they prepare to spread their wings.’
-Gail J Smith
Keep our children active and physical
This article is a reminder of the importance of keeping our children active daily.
We are often focused on developing our intelligence which involves social, emotional and cognitive skills. What we need to keep in mind is that physical activity connects very much to our developing mindset and that children need to keep working on their physical development throughout their lives. In some cases, this is not difficult, as many children demand to be active and commit to different sports etc. very early in their life. There are of course some children who are reticent to be active and participate in team sports which are so beneficial for them on a range of levels.
There is considerable evidence that mental well-being is improved through physical activity. The synchronicity of mind and body is critical to good mental health. Who doesn’t really feel good when they are not physically active and moving well? Learning involves the brain, the body and the soul. At any age, physical activity helps us grow and feel so much better in ourselves. We learn better, we think better and we act better when we are more active.
This article is to remind us of the importance of keeping our children active and invigorating their days with movement of some sort.
Consider:
When a child joins a sporting team, they gain immense skills in socially engaging with others, learning to be a team member and working in a collaborative manner under pressure.
Keep your child regularly active. Consider joining them daily with a bike ride or just a walk around the park. The habit is a powerful reminder of what will make a difference to them in the long run.
Use your backyard. Put up a basketball ring, a bounce set etc. Let them use all their domestic spaces to exercise and feel free.
Talk about physical fitness frequently. Chat about heroes that work to keep fit.
Set up routines with physical fitness for the family. It might be weekly bike rides or walks in parks. Develop a pattern where your children think that routine fitness is a family affair and one that is important to you.
We often find after exercise that we are mentally more alert and keen to take on the challenges of the day. Choose the best time of the day for family exercise. Timing is everything in this matter.
School has excellent opportunities for children to join various sporting teams. Encourage this and support them by attending sessions where possible. Children learn a lot more social skills when playing sports with peers. They also learn about empathy and cooperation as a team member.
If your child does not show interest in sports, at least take them walking, hiking, cycling etc. to keep them interested in being physical. Competitive sport is not for everyone. Lead by example and take them along for different physical experiences.
Children talk up their sports and enjoy engaging with each other through games etc. Keep your child aware of the value of being active and physical. This keeps them in tune with their peers and strengthens their relationships with them.
No child likes to feel unaligned with their peers. Being in tune with their physical needs and educated in the value of physical fitness gives them mental aptitude. They cope well with their peers and feel equal.
It is all about alignment with mind and body. As your child grows, teach them that being physically active can improve general health and give them a great sense of personal satisfaction. As they become more familiar with the benefits of being fit they will want to keep up the momentum. They will notice the difference themselves.
Finally, with all that is said today about mental health, I cannot recommend anything better for family stability than collective involvement in family physical activities. It is so good for the body and spirit and that wonderful sense of togetherness without complications.
‘Exercise not only changes your body, it changes your mind, your attitude and your mood’’
Unknown
14 easy parenting strategies
Here I have compiled a list of easy-to-apply strategies that can make parenting a little easier and make your child feel more connected to you. We could call them the simple language of parenting.
There are countless ideas in parenting courses, not the least of which is from my book: ‘The Primary Years. A principal’s perspective on raising happy kids.’ Here I have compiled a list of easy-to-apply strategies that can have a remarkable impact on making parenting a little easier. These strategies will be well received by your child who feels more easily connected to you. We could call them the simple language of parenting.
Consider:
Become a natural, spontaneous parent in praising children where possible. Try to mention why you are praising them. This hits home very quickly with a child.
Behaviour that we favour is especially valuable in rewarding. ‘You are such a caring person to hug your little brother when he cries.’
Be very clear when setting expectations. Keep the message short and use simple words that make it easy for a child to translate. Sometimes asking them to repeat back what was asked of them ensures that everyone is on the same page. This is especially important for younger children.
Be a problem solver with your child. Sit with them and together execute planned ways of looking at problems together. Share in the process of working through problems and make it a family habit. Point out that you do not have, nor should you have all the answers.
Slow down the anger. Being quick to anger can escalate the problem. Allowing some breathing space brings the anger down a notch or two. It also gives you time to better assess the situation.
Live out your values happily. Talk about them often. This way your child knows what is important to you even though they will change over time.
Gradually provide opportunities for building your child’s independence. From the minute they are born, we should be finding ways to let them build their independence.
Involve your child in family decision-making. This can be part of your family culture to be inclusive and to engage with them about holidays, activities etc.
Negotiate, negotiate, negotiate. This means that you are prepared to listen and compromise. This is all about being fair, just and respecting your child’s opinions.
Wherever possible be the coach not the lecturer. This is about giving independent guidance but not having expectations that they will always follow suit.
Create a safe happy home where your child feels that they have a voice and are valued.
When setting expectations, make them age appropriate and realistic. This way, your child will not be overwhelmed or feel intimidated.
Create a home that is also a creative and positive learning environment. Spread books around the house, ensure that there is plenty of light and good study facilities near and around the family room. Have music playing. Talk about articles you have read.
Be engaged and involved with your child’s school. Talk about it a lot and show interest in what work comes home. Volunteer and find out how you can support the school.
This list gives you some ideas for building a stronger relationship with your child. You can, with practice, get better at using these strategies and once you feel some success it is amazing how you condition yourself to keep them up. You may find that some will be easier to adopt than others. You may also find that you are successfully and naturally doing these strategies already. If so just keep up the great work!
‘The golden rule of parenting is to always show your children the kind of person you want them to be’
-Elizabeth Roxas