5 TIPS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN YOUR CHILD WHEN STARTING SCHOOL
Starting a new school year can be a big adjustment, especially for kids feeling a little nervous. As a parent, you can help ease their worries and boost their confidence with simple strategies. A smooth start sets the tone for a great year ahead! Gail Smith shows you how you can support your child through this transition.
Starting a new school year can be a big transition for many children, especially if they're nervous. Here are some tips for parents to help their child feel more confident and less anxious:
1. Familiarise Them with the School
• Why it works: New places can feel scary. Making the school feel familiar reduces the unknowns.
• Example: Walk around the school grounds together. Show them where the classrooms and toilets are. If the teacher is available, introduce them to your child.
• Story: “Last year, Mia visited her new school with her dad a week before it started. On the first day, she already knew how to find her classroom, so she felt less nervous walking in.”
2. Practise the School Routine
• Why it works: A predictable routine helps children feel prepared and in control.
• Example: One week before school starts, wake up at the time they’ll need to for school, eat breakfast, and pack a pretend lunch together. Practice leaving the house on time.
• Story: “Jason and his mum did a ‘practice day’ where they packed his backpack and walked to the bus stop. On the first day, Jason felt ready because he’d already done it once.”
3. Role-Play Scenarios
• Why it works: Practising interactions can build confidence.
• Example: Pretend to be a new classmate, and practise introducing themselves: “Hi, I’m Alex. What’s your name?” Also, practise asking the teacher questions like, “Can you help me with this?”
• Story: “Sophia was nervous about making friends, so her dad played the role of a shy classmate. After practising, Sophia felt ready to say hello to new kids at recess.”
4. Plan a Special "Back-to-School Tradition"
• Why it works: Creating a positive tradition makes the start of school exciting.
• Example: Let them pick out their first-day outfit, decorate their notebook with stickers, or have a “back-to-school breakfast” with their favourite food.
• Story: “Every year, Ella’s family bakes pancakes in the shape of letters spelling her name. It makes the first day of school something she looks forward to instead of dreading.”
5. Normalize Their Feelings
• Why it works: Knowing it’s okay to feel nervous helps kids manage their emotions.
• Example: Share a story about a time you felt nervous but things turned out okay, like starting a new job. Then talk about how they can overcome similar fears.
• Story: “When Liam told his mum he was scared about meeting new classmates, she said, ‘I felt the same way on my first day at work, but I ended up making friends. Let’s think of ways you can make friends, too.’
These examples make the advice practical and relatable for parents. Think about your child and what best works for them. Keeping anxieties to a minimum gives your child the best start for the year.
“Loving school is all about feeling safe and comfortable”
Starting School in 2025
Ease your child's transition into a new school year by talking positively about the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy, and practice morning routines to help them feel prepared. Offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Starting school can be an exciting but anxious time for some children as they face new routines, environments, and people. To help ease their worries, talk positively about school, focusing on the fun activities and friendships they'll enjoy. Practice routines like getting ready in the morning, and visit the school beforehand if possible to familiarize them with the surroundings. Listen to their concerns and reassure them that it's okay to feel nervous. Most importantly, offer lots of encouragement and remind them that you're there to support them every step of the way.
Consider:
.Be patient with your child.
Listen well to what they say in the first few weeks.
Be available especially after school for some time.
Change will occur with reshuffled friendship groups and familiarising themselves with the teacher. However, change is a good thing!
“The secret of change is to focus all our energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new.”
Five simple but powerful tips for parents to help their child start school on a positive note
With school reopening soon, take a moment to chat with your child about their holiday highlights and what they'll miss. This helps them transition from break to school. Ask them what they're excited about, whether it’s seeing friends or new activities. These simple conversations can set a positive tone for the new school year.
1. Talk with Excitement – Speak positively about school, teachers, and learning. Your
enthusiasm will be contagious!
2. Keep Mornings Calm – A smooth, stress-free morning routine sets the tone for the
day. Plan ahead to avoid last-minute chaos.
3. Celebrate Small Wins – Praise your child’s efforts, whether it’s making a new
friend or packing their own bag. Confidence grows with encouragement.
4. Listen and Reassure – If your child has worries, acknowledge them, but focus on
solutions and strengths. “You can handle this, and I’m here for you!”
5. Stay Connected – Chat about their day with curiosity, not just “How was school?”
Try, “What made you smile today?”
It is best to start some conversation about school now. Keep on the positive and invite them to talk about what they know about their new school year. Invite them to talk about the things that they have missed in the holidays and what they look forward to when school starts.
“With the new school year comes opportunities and adventures”
Be available to listen to your child at this early stage of the school year
When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly. Explore the reasons for effective listening with Gail Smith, especially at this early stage of the school year.
At this early stage of the school year it is most important to be a good listener to your child. There will be the usual challenges and adjustments with a new classroom teacher and a different culture of children in a class. They need to have your ear when they come home. Some reasons for effective listening are listed below. You may identify with some as only you know how your child responds to change.
Being a good listener builds trust between you and your child. Once trust is established they will talk more about their deep concerns. They will safe to talk.
By actively listening, you can understand any concerns or anxieties your child may have about the new school year. Addressing these concerns helps them feel supported.
Listening attentively to your child's thoughts and feelings promotes their emotional well-being. It provides a safe space for them to express themselves, reducing stress and fostering a positive mindset.
Effective listening helps you identify your child's needs, whether they're related to schoolwork, social interactions, or personal challenges. This allows you to provide appropriate support and guidance. It is different for every child.
When you listen well you will actually be surprised at what you hear. Then asking simple questions may help get to the bottom of the problem sooner.
When children feel heard and understood, it boosts their confidence. Knowing that their opinions and experiences matter encourages them to engage more actively in school and other social situations. Sometimes just talking it through is enough!
Actively listening to your child strengthens the bond between you. It creates a sense of connection and security, making them more likely to turn to you for guidance and support. That is the right place for your child to get the support.
Understanding your child's thoughts about school allows you to provide targeted support for their academic success. You can address any challenges they may be facing and work together on solutions.
When you get into the habit of listening well your child will expect nothing less. However the reward is the richness of conversation that develops.
A child who feels vulnerable in talking about their concerns will only disclose if they are genuinely listened to in a safe and trusting environment. Know your child’s needs.
Time is needed to be an active listener. You cannot do it on the run. Allow time when your child needs to talk.
At this early stage of the year is it a good idea to be readily available to listen to your child. They may need that comfortable ear.
“When you listen well to your child you see your child more clearly”
Dealing with children's preschool jitters
Heading back to school is an adventure, but we know it can bring butterflies for some! Gail Smith has awesome tips to help your family smoothly glide into the new school year. Let's make it an exciting journey together!"
By now children are starting to talk about going back to school. It can be exciting, but for some it can trigger anxieties about making a new start in a new classroom and forming friends. In the usual banter that goes on amongst children, they discuss what it will be like to be in a new classroom. It is therefore a wise idea to put a few things in place now to ease some of that beginning school tension.
Consider:
Talk about how you look forward to meeting the new teacher and talk positively about what you may have heard about them.
Sometimes walking around the school if your child is young just to familiarize themselves about playgrounds and happy spaces for them.
Many families are buying items for school. Involve your child in choosing these items and have fun putting their school bag together. Talk about a few treats that might be part of this year's plan in the school bag.
Invite school friends around so that your child can reacquaint themselves with friends.
Start talking about the year's plan. This will be a reminder to your child that it is all about a balance between school time, sport and family recreation.
If a new uniform is required, involve your child in shopping for it and showing it toother family members. Encourage them her to feel proud and excited about their new uniform.
If your child talks anxiously about finding new friends, chat about how it worked last year and how they found friends after some time. Also mention that teachers work on ensuring the class bonds early into the term.
Listen carefully to how they talk about school and if worried you can always approach the school and teachers before the year begins.
Be available in the first few weeks of school as this can be helpful to your child who has just spent all the summer holidays with you.
Begin adjusting bedtime and wake-up time a week or two before school starts to ensure a smooth transition. Also create a consistent morning routine that includes time for breakfast, getting dressed, and preparing for the day.
Celebrate small achievements and successes throughout the first weeks of school.
Positive reinforcement can boost your child's confidence early in the year. Let your child know that they can always talk to you about their experiences. Talk about how you are available to listen if they feel the need.
Encourage a positive mindset by highlighting the enjoyable aspects of school, such as seeing friends, learning new things and engaging in fun activities. Keep the positive talk happening before school starts.
The school year is about to begin. The family wheels are in motion and there is much to coordinate before that first school bell rings. If you just gradually ease into the school year and feel that preparation is well underway, you will be much happier and satisfied that you are in control.
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”
At what age should a child start at school?
The question of what age to start school has always been tough and debatable. Here are some thoughts about the suitability of school for your child.
This is always a serious question that parents ask and it does require some thought and primarily, an understanding of your child. I have seen many children start school far too early and this will bring some concerns that can have an impact on the child’s happiness level and sense of feeling connected and successful.
Here are some thoughts to get you thinking about the suitability of school for your child:
If your child is age appropriate to go to school, generally this will give them the maturity to cope, especially with the prep year. Talk to your kinder teacher who would have an excellent understanding of their readiness.
Keep in mind that whilst prep is all about getting familiar with the teacher and class, by the end of term one, teachers are working hard to get the children on the reading continuum. It would be fair to say that this can cause some concern for children who take longer. As the year progresses, there is marked acceleration with a prep class and the expectations will rise as the year progresses. Such acceleration is often driven by the excited preps who are doing well, converse easily and socialise well.
Is your child developing language skills and some mathematical vocabulary? This is a positive sign when they comfortably can demonstrate such developing skills. Kindergarten focuses on number facts and language skills.
As a family, are you ready for your child to start school? Think about support networks for the child. Is the home set up to enable the child to read at home and do school activities? At home is the child developing independent skills? Do they dress themselves, toilet properly and have some independent chores? The home and family settings should both show signs of readiness for school.
Socially, your child should and will form friends over time. This can be an easy experience for some, but less mature children are often not ready to engage, converse and interact at a level that is of a faster pace.
Remember that once your child starts school, the likelihood of repeating a year, if you believe that they need it, is strongly discouraged in schools. They will argue that it will interfere with their social world and give the child a sense of failure. Repeating a class has been done occasionally and in many cases, the child moves schools to make it more socially comfortable for them. It can be done successfully, but needs careful management and support from the school and parents.
The prep year is a long year for your child. They will need to be prepared to be able to learn the routine, sustain a whole day of curriculum and keep up socially with the life of the school as it unfolds for them. Emotional regulation is important as many challenges appear across the school day.
In prep, there is a high expectation from the teacher that you have a strong presence. They will invite you into various classroom activities and set expectations that you may help in the classroom. Once your child is at school, your world will change as you become an active participant in their learning and daily expectations.
If your child is going to school in the new year, talk about the school, visit it with your child, drive past it regularly and chat about the exciting journey they will have. Which is excellent preparation work for their transition to school.
Prep teachers are chosen with great care and consideration for the age of the children. You should feel very comfortable approaching your child’s prep teacher throughout the year. It is also important that your child sees you having a relationship with the teacher. This is all about building trust which is so important to your child.
Finally, a prep year starts with great excitement and anticipation of what lies ahead. Your child will mould themselves into the prep year. There will be some anxiety about making it successful. The best opportunities come when they are receptive to what is offered, are able to emotionally engage with the journey of friends and success and feel that they are in an environment that makes their parent’s happy. Your role in acceptance and participation in their prep year is critical for success. Their readiness for school will be linked to your preparedness to have your child at school.
‘Your education is a dress rehearsal for a life that is yours to lead.’
-Nora Ephron
10 strategies to get the best from school as the year begins
Here's 10 tips on how to listen and encourage your child through the normal processes of the school year.
Now that your child has started school, think about what we control and what we don’t. There will be many challenges for your child in the classroom but they are their challenges and we simply listen and encourage them through the process.
You will have many pressures on you as the year progresses. You can start to say ‘no’ so that you scrutinise what you are doing. This will give more time identify what is important in the family and with your child. Start discerning what is really important so that you can unclutter your time.
Your child is back at school. Make everyday a learning day. Listen to what they tell you after school and enjoy all the new learning that comes their way. Be excited and interested in what new aspects of school life they have discovered.
When you talk to your child about school days, keep in mind that their world is to be owned by them. Be an active listener and not invasive in helping them solve their problems. Be a consultant and listen with interest.
Keep up healthy morning rituals to get the children up and running. A strong, consistent morning routine helps them stay focused and get to school with the least distraction. This is especially important for the more anxious child.
Don’t be angry in the mornings. Make them a happy, stable space for the child in getting ready for school. They need to go to school in a happy disposition. Otherwise, a child will only contemplate that angry feeling over the day, which will limit their opportunities.
Try to keep insignificant matters down to a minimum. There is much to absorb when school starts and the more insignificance we bring into our time, the less we focus on the important things. Keep things simple and uncomplicated.
Be careful not to dive into saying things that could be best left unsaid. You will hear much from your child when they come home each day. Listen and process the information. Pause and think before you have an opinion. They will pick up your judgement very quickly.
As the weeks and the year unfolds, you will learn much about the class, teachers, etc. you may change your opinion over time. Take care not to be too opinionated early in the year. Your child needs to make their own judgements and learn from that experience.
Concentrate on the present situation at school. Try not to worry about future issues that may occur. What is surprising, is the twist and turns that happen over a school year. Much is unpredictable and we cannot plan for it. Just enjoy the moments as your child finds their way through the first few weeks of school. Everything is a discovery.
When you hear some negative talk, try to give the school the benefit of the doubt. Schools work very hard to build strong foundations with parents and often what you hear may not be the truth. Your child needs to feel that you trust and have faith in their school. This gives them the reassurance they need every day. Let the school year be a growing time for your child with all the optimism and hope that it can possibly carry for the year.
‘Optimism isn’t a belief that things will automatically get better, it’s a conviction that we can make things better.’
-Melinda Gates
Getting back to routine after lockdown
Tricky times requires creative thinking and for our children going back to school is a relief as well as creating some anxiety about yet again fitting in to school. There is no doubt the times are challenging and our children will look back on this period with some trepidation and for them, it is a new norm.
This article is a simple one. It is all about helping your child be comfortable and adjust to the “not so routine” of life and school. They are living with the ever-threatening idea of yet another lockdown and this must cause some trepidation as they attempt to go back to school and fit into the school plan.
Consider the following thoughts.
Be flexible. Everything is changing including the teacher’s expectations with the children. Accept that difference is part of the new norm.
The permanency for your child is the stability of the family. Your constant presence in their life is a powerful support for them in today’s climate. Try to ensure that routines, schedules etc. are in place again. This creates some safe reassurance for the child.
Check in with your child’s social life. Are they happily engaging with their friends or are they somewhat reticent to reignite friendships? Chat to your child’s teacher if this is a problem. Children can easily feel unsettled with friends after such intermittent breaks from school.
Ensure your child has a balanced amount of sleep and recreation across the week. They certainly need to set up a balance that will be consistent across the week and feel reassured that the routine will be part of their norm.
School holidays will soon be starting. Given the isolated, online work they have just had, start planning this time with your child. This should be a productive time and one that gives your child joy, physical opportunities, some adventure and quiet time.
Keep the conversation flowing with regard to all the progress being made with vaccines etc. Our children need to understand the times they are living through. Their understanding may carry with it some anxiety but it should be filled with accurate knowledge on the management of the virus. Of course, the information to be given must be age-appropriate.
Finally, children thrive on being happy and having a sense of hope and optimism in their world. For this to be achievable they rely on you, the parent. Keeping the focus for the future on a positive note is such an important part of the parent’s work in today’s climate where unpredictability thrives and their foundational years can be shaken. You are the rock upon which the foundation is built.
“It’s not simply the learning..
It’s the stability. Stability is essential in the lives of children.”
Keep the start of the year on a positive note
What a busy time for all as you prepare to pack away the Summer fun holiday items and get ready for the regularity of school. We can all get a little overwhelmed and irritable about getting back to routine especially given the unease of last year.
Your child will be mentally getting ready for school challenges and of course, will have in mind the journey of 2020. My advice here is to not get caught up in making the start of the school year too perfect. Let the child gently ease into the school and discover along the way what their new environment will offer. There may be school rules and discussion about hygiene etc. Your child needs to understand what the new norm is in the school and they will begin to adopt to changes and shifts in how the school may be operating.
Here are some thoughts about how to keep the beginning of the school year upbeat and optimistic.
Talk positively about the new year. Discuss as a family something that you are all looking forward to in the near future. This could be some event that wasn’t possible last year.
Listen well to what the child tells you about school and if there are changes talk about how you applaud the school’s effort to keep everyone safe and healthy.
Check in with your child to make sure anxious gossip about health matters regarding CO-VID 19 is accurate and that your child is not anxious about what they hear around the schoolyard.
If your child is not in prep and you are not in the habit of dropping them off, I recommend being with them before school a few times. This gives them extra reassurance and that reassurance helps at this stage of the year. Remember that there are still some residual anxieties around from last year.
If your child is a little anxious about full-time school and missing you, show them on a calendar the school holidays and that there will be plenty of occasions to just be family once again.
For some children being home for so long last year was a comfort and they will need time to adjust to a regular school schedule. A day working online at home does not equate to a full active day at school.
Talk positively about their friendships and encourage your child to be friendly to all class members. Take an in inclusive approach to the matter of friends. Often at the beginning of the year it can be divide and conquer with regard to establishing friendships in the class. The less confident child may take more time to establish friends or perhaps lose confidence in re-establishing themselves with friends.
A great tool at this stage of the year is to set up a chat box in your child’s room. If they have anything, they want to talk about they can include this in the box. At special times probably bedtime together you can talk about these issues.
If you are busy working, school can slip easily from your thoughts. Check their bags each night for notes and of course emails from teachers. An occasional email to the teacher to check-in is also a good idea.
Above all, keep the term optimistic and affirm your child’s steady progress into the life of the school in 2021.
“Optimism. It’s not just a mind-set. It is behaviour.”