Growing Big Hearts: Teaching Children Generosity and Compassion
As parents, the way we show compassion in everyday moments helps shape emotionally strong and caring kids. Gail Smith shares simple ways to nurture generosity at home, where small acts can leave a big impact.
In a world where success is often measured by grades and achievement, it’s easy to forget the quiet strength of a generous heart or a compassionate word. Yet, these are the qualities that help children grow into kind, resilient, and truly emotionally strong, successful adults. As parents, we have a daily opportunity to nurture generosity and compassion through the small moments that add up to something powerful. Remember, your example here will make such a difference. The world of social media has stripped away so much of the gentler, more sensitive ways of communicating. They are much undervalued traits. Your teaching in the home environment can highlight how valuable a tool it is to be kind and generous.
Why It Matters
Generosity teaches children that they have something valuable to give. Time, kindness, attention, or a helping hand. Compassion teaches them to notice others’ feelings, to stand
beside someone who is struggling, and to act with care.
How to Teach It—Naturally and Daily
1. Model Generosity
Children watch us closely. Let them see you:
• Hold the door for someone with a smile.
• Share your time with a lonely neighbour.
• Speak kindly about others, even when they aren’t around or challenge you in different ways.
• Use good manners wherever possible and be a calm person who listens to others respectfully.
2. Create Small Opportunities to Give
Generosity doesn’t have to mean giving away toys or money. It might look like:
• Writing a kind note to a teacher. Let your child assist here.
• Helping a younger sibling with their socks.
• Giving up the best seat without being asked.
When these moments happen, pause to reflect: “That was generous of you. How do you think that made them feel?”
Use those words like generosity in your conversations.
3. Name the Feelings
When your child sees someone in need or distress, ask: “What do you think they’re feeling?” Helping children tune in to others builds their natural empathy. Compassion starts with noticing. It is healthy to talk about how others may feel after a crisis or trauma.
4. Tell Real Stories
Use stories—true ones from your life or the news about people who show compassion and generosity. Children remember stories far more than instructions. Share a time when someone was kind to you, or when a small act made a big difference. Notice people around you that show compassion to others. Name them.
5. Practise Together
Create family traditions around kindness:
• Have a "Kindness Jar", everyone writes down kind acts they saw or did.
• Choose one community service activity a term, a food drive, helping at church, or donating toys.
• At dinner, ask, “What’s one generous thing someone did today?”
• Read together books that teach compassion and generosity.
6. Celebrate the Heart, Not Just the Head
Praise children when they are kind, not just when they are clever. Say, “I loved the way you helped Jack when he dropped his books. That shows a strong heart.”
Final Thought
Raising generous and compassionate children is one of the greatest legacies we can leave. It doesn’t happen overnight, but with daily care, encouragement, and example, you’re growing a child ready to make the world better. No surprise that others gravitate around people who show generosity and compassion. It is so needed.
“Be kind and merciful.
Let no one ever come to you without coming away better and happier’”
Valuable resources for mastering effective communication with your child
In the hustle of a busy day, we might find ourselves talking quickly and sharply to our children. This can be frustrating for both parents and kids, as everyone wants to be heard and understood. It's normal to feel irritated when we don't get a response or feel like no one is listening. Gail Smith has some great tips to help us support our children and improve our conversations. Learning these skills can make a huge difference in how we communicate.
In the rush of the busy day, we sometimes talk to our children in short sharp bursts. This can be frustrating for the parent and the child, both struggling to be heard and to have their needs met. It is no wonder that we become irritated when we don't get an answer or we feel no one is listening.
Here are some helpful skills that we can use to support a child who needs to be heard. Acquiring these skills can significantly enhance the quality of our conversations.
When a child starts talking and you feel it is important to listen, then attending is a key skill to learn. This involves really being with the child, making appropriate eye contact, being still and focusing on what they have to say. This is all about using the right body language to let your child know that you are really listening. Here you give your total attention to the child.
Silence is a wonderful tool in showing your child that you are really listening. This means no interruptions to their talk and passively hearing what they have to say. Silence can be very powerful in communicating. It is especially helpful if the child is upset, angry or anxious.
As the child talks in order to let them know you are truly listening you can give head nods or perhaps mutter for example, ’Hmm, Really, Yes.” This gives them ongoing reassurance that you are listening and not making any judgements on what they have to say.
Encourage them to keep talking. ‘Would you like to talk more about that?’ This is indicating that you are there to listen and you want them to have every opportunity to talk for as long as they feel necessary. This is very helpful to young children who find it hard to articulate what they have to say.
If you feel your child needs the time to be heard, find a suitable place to have the conversations. Distractions, noise etc. can stop their flow of conversation leading to disappointment and frustration.
Keep to the same level as your child instead of towering over them. This makes them feel that you are genuinely listening.
Have a positive disposition as they talk. This may mean smiling and reassuring them that their feelings are valued.
When talking back use a gentle tone of voice where the child feels that there is no judgement or disappointment.
Finally, you can use active listening. This is picking up on what they see and repeating the essence of their conversation. ‘You said that when you fell on the school yard you felt so sad.’ Picking up the essence of their talk and especially the emotion will give them fuel for talking back with more information.
To help your child after they have disclosed something important and you have listened well, be clear in what you have to say, be correct in your response and always show compassion. In this way you develop trust.
“If you respect your child, then listen to what they have to say.”