How to motivate your child to learn
Motivating your child to learn can be quite challenging, here’s a few parenting tips on how to keep your child motivated to learn inside and outside of the classroom.
This can be a challenge for some children who can lose motivation at school and find the whole exercise of school just too much. They can develop a flight or fight mentality to escape school or simply disengage, which is such a frustrating and helpless experience for the family to understand. Merely encouraging them or advising them about the advantages of school does not make a great deal of difference. In fact the more we talk about it, the more they can feel a failure in your eyes and further reject school.
Consider the following ideas to help motivate a child about school:
• Develop at home an atmosphere where learning is seen as a good thing. Talk about how you learn and what you enjoy when you want to read a book etc. Keep reading alive at home as we know that being able to read is a key to being happy and successful at school. The process of learning to read helps keep the brain active in processing information and communication. A child who reads will have less problems being motivated at school. Reading excites the imagination and keeps the interest high in learning.
• Encourage your child to be independent in their learning. Try not to put controls on them or limit what they must learn. We now know that children learn in all different ways and this creative process should be encouraged. Give them choices and affirm what they choose to learn. A motivated child will always want to follow their passions.
• Keep the conversations going and keep them frequent. Make them positive and full of reassurance and confidence in their efforts. Listen to their opinions and applaud creative thinking. A child needs to feel that how they learn has value and that what they have to say is important. They may challenge you in the way they think but that is OK!
• Notice the uniqueness of your child and home in on their interests. Sometimes their passions and interests last a short while, sometimes they last forever. Either way, your child needs to be supported in those interests and made to feel that their passions are powerful and valued. Help them to discover more about their passions. Perhaps if fishing is their interest go to the library together and collect books on fishing.
• All children learn differently. Any teacher will tell you this. Don't be critical of their learning style. Allow them to discover their best way of learning. When we force their hand at changing how they learn, this can destroy a child’s confidence and they can begin to doubt their ability to learn.
• Consider sharing games together. They are a great family activity but also reinforce that learning is a successful tool in playing games. A child works out that to be successful at the game they should try harder and understand more.
• Remember that the process of learning is what is important. Reward and acknowledge the effort, not the outcome. Remember that a child looks for your approval and is more motivated by your acceptance of their efforts rather than how they were successful. If absolute success is your goal, a child will become anxious about rising to meet that challenge. This is where disengagement can happen.
• Every child has strengths. It is easy for us to see our weaknesses and so important for a child to feel success through their strengths. Teachers are very good at picking up on this in class and will focus on a child’s strength to give them reassurance that they can easily learn. It also makes children less anxious about their weaknesses. This also teaches a child that failure is part of life and that we use it as a means to learn. Focusing on their weakness only shrouds them in a sense of failure and disengagement from school is not far away.
• Be a learner yourself and use opportunities around you to engage your child in learning. This is about developing an inquiring mind. Learning is catchy and your child will see you as someone helping them to develop an inquiring mind and to be curious about all sorts of things.
• Children can from time to time lose some motivation at school.
Remember they are children and may need time to simply rest a little from formal learning. Your teacher has an excellent knowledge on how your child learns and I would recommend you speak to them when motivation drops off.
‘There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly
-Buckskin Fuller
Lock it up and forget about it
This is an activity to help children deal with small anxieties.
I would only use this if the problem was a simple one. I have used this method with children who enjoy the practical act of locking up their problems.
We then throw away the key. Great fun! A little bit of theatre is a good thing.
It is all about getting the child to imagine that the problem cannot return . We have control over managing the problem. It is all in our control and we choose to remove the problem
I remember several years ago using this activity with a child. When I spoke to her as a teenager, she told me how she imagined locking away her problems and this strategy still helped her with issues. The key remained a big focus in her mind.
I have seen this work with burying the problem that is written on paper or ripping it up. It is about finding a practical and reasonable way of disposing of the anxious thought.
Ten tips to a great start at school
Ensure the children have plenty of sleep. This gives them the best start to stay focused during the day.
Consider the diet of the child for lunch and snack. Not too heavy and low in sugar.
Have a presence of school at home. This could be notes on fridges, awards on walls, diary dates included in family calendars etc. The more the child feels that home connects to the school, the better.
Discuss the school uniform (if applicable) and what day they wear their sports gear. Discuss their involvement in getting ready each morning.
Let them carry their own bags to school. It is all about their ownership of their learning.
Read some of the school newsletter to them. This gives them a chance to talk to you about school events that effect them directly.
Not too many questions at the beginning of the year. This can be overwhelming as children think they need to have positive answers. Wait until they talk to you about their school day. Keep reinforcing how much you value the teacher. They like being reassured that their home and school is strongly connected.
Try to arrive at school on time or at least a few minutes early. This gives the child a chance to chat with their teacher about any pressing matters on their mind.
Always reassure your child that you will pick them up and on time. This reminder just gives them an added sense of security as the school days can be long.
Involve the whole family in discussion about the child’s school. Young children like to feel that school is valued by all those that are close to them.
How do you give your children the best start at school?
Getting Started at School
You have already taught them many experiences and they have learnt from your own life journey over the past few years. You have taught them to walk, speak, toilet train, etc. and they are now ready to take on the new adventure of formal learning.
I stress ‘formal’, as to date, so much incidental learning has been in operation in and around your child. Never underestimate the amount of learning that has already been acquired. This has happened through your modelling, through incidental experiences and exposure to the real world.
The journey now widens and children will experience exposure to new thinking in a classroom of children and also be exposed to a set of values through the school system.
As parents you are significant partners in the education of your child. You are the primary educators. The school complements your valuable work.
Together with the school you journey with your child through the next seven Primary years of their education. During this time there will be many adventures, joys, mishaps and above all powerful learning experiences.
It is important to trust your educators and to feel connected to them when it is important to talk about matters. Teachers appreciate that they are only part of a child’s education.
Parental influence is strong in shaping the work a school does. Relationship with your teacher and school is a key factor in ensuring a happy, well adjusted child in the school setting.
Helpful Hints to get you started at school
Always be on time - This is important to give children a sense of continuity and to let them know that you value the importance of being on time. Children can feel uncomfortable walking into classrooms late.
Be in touch - Teachers need to be aware of any changes in family life. This is important given the impact that family life can have on a successful school environment.
Teachers appreciate correspondence from parents - in the form of emails, notes and conversations. Check with your teacher to ensure when best to talk to them. It maybe necessary to make a formal appointment to see your teacher. Otherwise talking to your teacher after school at the appropriate time is acceptable. Teachers will let you know what nights are inappropriate for meeting as they have several formal meetings after school throughout the week.
Developing independence - Independent research indicates that the more children grow in independence, the greater capacity they have to learn. Giving greater independence to children can be difficult for some parents.
I believe that gradual development of independent skills gives children more self-assurance and an ability to take risks, own their problems and build personal stamina.