Building resilience in girls around today's Social Challenges

We have all been appalled and shocked by the recent outbreaks of violence to women. There is much to address in this serious matter and it is a socially distressing sign that all is not well in our society.

Here I am thinking of how parents can be so helpful in building strength in our girls to support their growing years where they are forming ideas, values and most importantly long lasting self worth. I have always been a great believer that the stronger the girl, the more personally confident they are in making choices with friends, partners etc. that will be the very best for them.

The recent tragedies indicate that we have much to do to educate men on how to treat women and how to respect and value them in the highest possible way. This will not happen overnight and so I now turn my attention to how we can strengthen our girls to be observant, mature and feel confident enough to walk away from situations that make them unsafe. This is not as easy as it sounds and in many cases it may be impossible as we have seen from some recent tragedies. However, what can we as parents do to help our developing girls feel stronger and safer. Our role is vital in giving our girls skills in supporting themselves.

Consider:

• always talk positively to your girl and reassure them that they are worthwhile and a valued member of the family. Use effective language around them that makes them feel good about themselves. Definitely no put downs or sarcasm that can lead to feelings of doubt about themselves. Take care to ensure that male siblings treat their sister with respect at all times.

• Encourage their independence affirming them when they show an ability to initiate and create new ways of being. Let them be themselves.

• Allow them to have a strong voice in the family. When they have something to say we listen with interest and belief in the worthwhile nature of what they have to say.

• Encourage them to play sport and get involved in team games building personal stamina and physical fitness. Sport is great for building leadership qualities. A strong girl is one that can engage across many environments and is constantly growing physically, intellectually and emotionally.

• Formal education is a wonderful way to escape social dependency. When a girl is articulate and feels a capable learner, they are using their intellect to feel strong. This is a wonderful way of self empowerment. Education is liberating.

• In their tentative years they will be in and out of friendship groups. Keep the conversations alive about how important their friendship groups are to making them feel stronger. They will have disappointments, but hopefully will learn who really constitutes a true friend.

• Take care not to be quick to place judgement on their decisions. They need to feel that their opinions count. This is where you keep talking to them. Have healthy discussions about what they value and let them see how you are happy to negotiate with them to ease them into more independence. Their voice counts in your family.

• Modelling your own beliefs about how girls should be treated is vital as an effective parent. Show them that you will not tolerate poor treatment of women in your own life and you have high expectations of their ability to be successful.

• Talk about some great examples of womanhood that you admire. Talk about what makes them strong and encourage your girl to aspire to being a strong, capable women.

These ideas are just to remind us that as parents we can start to develop positive thinking in our girls about their self worth and capabilities from a very early age. A girl's foundational years can strongly influence their self perception and their confidence and intuition to make well informed decisions that will give them happy outcomes in their life. We want them fully in charge of themselves.

Navigating the Emotional Roller coaster: Supporting Parents with Children at School

The journey of parenting can be a roller coaster of emotions, especially when it comes to supporting your children's experiences at school. As parents, we all want the best for our kids and wish to see them thrive in their academic and social lives. However, it is not uncommon to encounter various challenges that may leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or even helpless.

This blog aims to provide emotional support and practical strategies for parents to navigate the ups and downs of their children's school lives. For some children and parents school can be a very challenging environment on many levels.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape of School Life:

• Embrace the joy of seeing your child explore and learn new things at school, even though it may come with challenges like stress and anxiety.

• Celebrate your child's bravery as they face peer pressure and academic demands, knowing that they will grow stronger through these experiences.

• Remember, it's okay to feel a mix of emotions as a parent – from worry to pride – it shows how much you care about your child's well-being and success.

Effective Communication with Your Child:

• Share laughter and light-hearted moments with your child when talking about their school life. A good sense of humour can bridge any communication gaps.

• Rejoice in being a trusted confidante for your child, where they can freely share their frustrations and feelings about school.

• Cherish those spontaneous moments when your child needs you, knowing that your attentive presence helps them navigate through their challenges.

Building Resilience in Your Child:

• Celebrate your child's growth mindset and the positive attitude they develop towards learning and setbacks. Their resilience will lead them to greater achievements.

• Embrace the joy of teaching your child coping skills like yoga, mindfulness, or deep breathing, knowing you're giving them valuable tools for life.

• Witness the strength and resilience your child exhibits when facing stress and anxiety, and be proud of their ability to overcome obstacles.

Dealing with Academic Pressures:

• Take pride in your child's efforts and progress, letting them know that their hard work is appreciated regardless of the outcome.

• Find joy in striking a balance between supporting your child's academics and allowing them to grow independently, fostering their self-confidence.

• Celebrate each step of improvement and acknowledge your child's accomplishments, boosting their self-esteem along the way.

Handling Social and Peer-Related Issues:

• Find joy in being your child's pillar of support during friendship struggles, knowing you play a crucial role in their social development.

• Celebrate the moments when your child shows empathy and inclusiveness, as they cultivate healthy social skills and create meaningful friendships.

• Rejoice in the close connections you build with other parents and the valuable support network that helps normalize your concerns.

Coping with Transitions:

• Treasure the joy of witnessing your child navigate significant transitions, like starting school or changing schools, and seeing them grow in adaptability.

• Celebrate the milestones and graduations in your child's life, knowing that you've been there for them during every step of the journey.

Self-Care for Parents:

• Embrace the joy of prioritising self-care, as it not only benefits you but also positively influences your child's emotional well-being.

• Take pride in practicing self-care strategies that make you feel good and rejuvenated, allowing you to be the best version of yourself for your child.

• Celebrate the moments when you find peace and balance in your life, it sets a positive example for your child's self-care habits.

Connecting with Other Parents and Support Networks:

• Rejoice in the joy of finding a supportive network of fellow parents, where you can share experiences and find comfort in knowing you're not alone.

• Celebrate the benefits of seeking professional support when needed, it shows your dedication to being the best parent you can be.

Parenting is a beautiful journey filled with ups and downs, and by embracing the joy of supporting your child emotionally through their school years, you create a nurturing environment for them to flourish and grow into confident, resilient individuals.

        ‘As your child grows and changes, you too grow and change as a parent. Embrace it.’                                                                          

-Gail J Smith

How do we build resilience in our children?

A big question that many parents ask themselves is how do we make our children more resilient? Whilst there are many support programs at school and strategies we can use to help our children, what is well regarded as a powerful strategy is to let the child see how resilient we are as parents in our own life.

How we influence our children is best done by modelling our own strength in coping with difficult situations. The positive language we use in simply discussing a problem gives the child the awareness that you are calmly reflecting and can approach a situation from many angles. It is about a “no blame” outlook.

For example when faced with some crisis try using words like:

• “I have a problem and I need time to think it through.”
• “I need to look at many ways to sort this out.”
• “At the moment I am working through some troubling issues.”

This is about giving the child the message that:

1.           there can be many ways to solve a problem.
2.           having a problem is normal.

Staying calm during that time and looking at many angles of the situation is the best way forward.

When I have dealt with children in areas around resilience, it is not uncommon to hear them talk about how their parents would handle the situation. If they have parents who look at quick solutions and blame, it is harder for the child to take personal ownership of their situation themselves. When they recognise that the parents will look at how to resolve a situation through reflection and negotiation, the child is more receptive to owning and dealing with the problem themselves.

Some final thoughts:

• Stay calm when unsettling issues arise.
• Develop strong listening skills so that questioning is clear.
• Where possible, look for how a positive outcome can be reached even though there is some damage.         
• Keep your body language calm, steady and consistent.

Above all let your child see that staying calm and open-minded will get a better resolution.

There are many excellent problem-solving games in educational stores that teach the family how to approach a problem.

When a problem is resolved talk about how you used different strategies to understand and solve the problem.

How we influence our children is best done by modelling our own strength in coping with difficult situations.