Crazy ideas to lighten the load and make a child’s feeling of school a happy one

These ideas may just brighten the week for everyone.

The Early Riser Battle Plan: First down to the breakfast table after jobs are done scores points. The child with the most points at the end of the week gets a sleep-in on one of those days.

The "Stealth Mode" Lunch Packing: Want to surprise your kids with a special lunch? Practice your ninja skills and sneak some fun notes or treats into their lunchboxes. It's like being the undercover agent of parenting! Do it occasionally so that it really is a surprise.

Homework Hijinks: Turn homework into a game show! Buzz in for correct answers and use a giant foam hand to point out spelling mistakes. Your kids will be entertained, and their homework sessions will become a hilarious competition. Let them see that homework is a regular part of family life.

The Magic Cleanup Spell: Teach your kids a "magic" cleanup spell. Just wave a spatula in the air, say "Hocus Pocus Tidus Maximus," and watch as they tidy up their toys in record time.

The "Dance Party" Drop-off: Instead of the usual drop-off routine, have a dance party in the car before they go to school. Groove to their favourite tunes and see them off with a smile on their faces.

The "Mystery Bag" Snack: Prepare a "mystery bag" snack with unusual food items hidden inside. Let your child discover the surprise during lunchtime. It's like a mini food adventure every day!

Time Travel Transport: Turn school drop-off into a time travel adventure. Pretend your car is a spaceship or a time machine. "Buckle up, Captain, we're off to the future of knowledge!"

Math-a-Palooza: Practice math skills in unconventional ways. Use lollies as counting tools or measure ingredients for a baking session. Who knew learning could be so sweet and tasty?

Artistic Lunchbox Masterpieces: Level up your lunchbox game by creating art on the sandwich! Use food colouring to draw funny faces or animals. The kids will have a blast eating their edible masterpieces.

Parent-Teacher Comedy Show: Organize a fun parent-teacher comedy night where parents and teachers perform humorous skits about parenting challenges. Laughter is the best way to bond!

Being a parent is a challenge but also an absolute joy

Parenting can be challenging, but it is also a fulfilling and enjoyable journey.

Here are six great strategies to help parents see the enjoyable side of parenting: The process needs to be enjoyed and savoured as a unique part of your life.

1. Practise Gratitude: Take time each day to reflect on the positive aspects of parenting. Focus on the moments that brought joy and fulfilment, no matter how small they may seem. When you look at your child feel gratitude that they are looking back at you!

2. Celebrate Milestones: Celebrate your child's milestones, big or small, and recognise your role in their growth and development. Whether it's their first steps, a good grade at school, or simply mastering a new skill, acknowledging these accomplishments can bring joy and pride to both you and your child. Take photos and keep mementos of special occasions. Keep the fire alive in celebrating all sorts of situations.

3. Spend Quality Time: Make an effort to spend quality time with your child doing activities you both enjoy. Engaging in fun and playful activities together creates positive memories and strengthens the parent-child bond. Quality time can be short or long but needs to be regular and become a normal part of family life. Be active with your quality time. Games and sports are a great way of enjoying each other.

4. Find Humour in Parenting: Parenting can be filled with many humorous moments, and finding humour in everyday challenges can lighten the mood. Laughing about the messy situations or innocent remarks your child makes, can turn potentially stressful situations into amusing anecdotes. The world of parenting is messy and comes with all sorts of challenges. Keep the world of parenting light and see the beauty and humour of simple things. There it will be found.

5. Connect with Other Parents: Building a supportive network of other parents can be a great way to share experiences, advice, and humour. You need not be alone. Join parenting groups, attend social events, or connect with parents in your community to feel a sense of camaraderie and understanding. Laugh at yourself and your parenting style from time to time. Everyone will parent differently and that is fine.

6. Self-Care for Parents: Taking care of yourself is essential for enjoying parenting. Ensure you get enough rest, engage in hobbies or activities you love, and don't hesitate to ask for help when needed. When parents are well-rested and emotionally fulfilled, they are more likely to appreciate the enjoyable moments of parenting. Take breaks where necessary and see them as a time of respite. For this, you will parent much better.

Being a parent is an active, changing business. It comes with challenges that can be turned into great moments of discovery and joy. Nothing ventured, nothing gained is true of parenting. You need to get in there hands and feet. Above all, enjoy the journey and keep reminding yourself of the preciousness of your role.

‘One of the greatest titles in the world is a parent, and one of the biggest blessings in the world is to have parents to call mum and dad.’ 

   -Jim DeMint

Simple suggestions to help build empathy and kindness in your child

The difference you can make in how you teach and model empathy and kindness is amazing. See it as a way of life that is common practice in your family.

• Be a good example: Show kindness and caring by helping others, like sharing toys with a sibling or comforting a friend who is sad.

• Understand how others feel: Imagine how someone else might feel in a situation. For example, think about how a friend might feel if they didn't get invited to a party. Are you inclusive when you send out invitations? Share your feelings: Talk about your own emotions and encourage your child to express their feelings too. Let them know it's okay to feel happy, sad, or angry.

• Listen and pay attention: When your child talks, give them your full attention. Show that you care about what they say by looking at them and responding kindly.

• Do kind things for others: Encourage your child to do nice things, like saying "thank you" to their teacher or helping a classmate with a task.

• Learn about different cultures: Read books or watch shows that teach about different ways of life. Talk about the traditions and customs of other cultures.

• Solve problems without fighting: Help your child find solutions when they have a disagreement. Encourage them to listen to others, find common ground, and work things out peacefully. Teach them the powers of negotiation.

• Talk about real-life examples: Have conversations about news stories or events that involve kindness and helping others. Discuss how they can make a positive difference too.

• Stay positive: Encourage your child to see the good in people and situations. Talk about happy news or share stories of people being kind to each other.

• Say "thank you" and be grateful: Teach your child to appreciate what they have and show gratitude. Encourage them to say "thank you" and be thankful for acts of kindness.

• Help others in need: Encourage your child to lend a helping hand to those who need it. They can assist an elderly neighbour with carrying groceries, offer to walk a friend's dog when they're busy, or help a classmate with their schoolwork. Teach them how to notice where there is a need.

• Apologise and forgive: Teach your child the importance of apologising when they have hurt someone's feelings. For example, if they accidentally break a friend's toy, guide them to say sorry and find a way to make amends. Also, encourage them to forgive others when they receive apologies, promoting empathy and understanding. Talk about what reconciliation is all about.

• Stand up against bullying: Teach your child to be kind and compassionate by speaking up against bullying. Encourage them to support classmates who are being treated unkindly, be a friend to someone who is feeling left out, or report bullying incidents to a trusted adult.

These ideas give some suggestions as to how to build empathy and compassion in your child. Be spontaneous and look for occasions where you can build their awareness and sensitivity to others and the world around them.

‘A smile can brighten someone’s day and enlighten their spirits.

                                                                                 - Gail J Smith

Time to remind yourself that being a parent is a wonderful experience

Unconditional Love: Being a parent allows you to experience a deep and unconditional love for your child. Something unique and special develops between you and the child. It is precious. It is irreplaceable. You own it.

Example: Seeing your child's smiling face when they wake up in the morning or hearing their laughter when you play together fills your heart with pure joy.

Milestone Moments: As a parent, you get to witness and celebrate numerous milestone moments in your child's life. You are part of it and you can take pride in all your contributions over the years. Each achievement becomes a source of immense pride and happiness.

Example: Capturing the moment when your child takes their first step or saying their first words creates memories that you'll cherish forever.

Sense of Purpose: Parenting gives you a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Nurturing and guiding a child through life's challenges allows you to make a positive impact and shape their future.

Example: Knowing that you are raising a compassionate, kind, and responsible individual who will contribute positively to society, fills you with a sense of purpose and fulfilment.

Having a child in your life reignites the wonders of life through a child’s eyes. It awakens in us the child we were and it invites us to share in simple joys and pleasures. It clears the cobwebs that can develop as we plough through our adult life.

Example: Watching your child marvel at a rainbow or discover the beauty of a butterfly can remind you of the wonders that often go unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of adult life. They awaken in you the child and that is liberating.

Learning and Growing Together: Parenthood offers continuous opportunities for personal growth and learning. As you navigate the challenges and joys of raising a child, you gain valuable insights, patience, and resilience. Having another individual in your life that relies on you, needs care and understanding will demand from you your absolute attention. There is no escaping building tolerance, understanding, empathy etc.

Example: Overcoming sleepless nights, mastering the art of multitasking, and learning to be patient during tantrums are all experiences that help you grow and become a better version of yourself.

Emotional Satisfaction: Parenting brings immense emotional fulfilment. The love, laughter, and moments of connection you share with your child create a deep sense of happiness and contentment. How emotionally satisfying it is to see yourself in your child.

Example: Embracing your child in a warm hug after a long day or hearing them say, "I love you, Mom/Dad," can instantly fill your heart with overwhelming joy and gratitude. Enjoy those special little moments. They come spontaneously and frequently.

Creating Life Memories: Being a parent allows you to create lasting memories that you and your child will cherish throughout your lives. From family vacations to everyday adventures, these moments become the foundation of a lifetime of shared experiences.

Example: Going on a family road trip and exploring new places together, or even simple activities like baking cakes and having picnics in the park, become treasured memories that you can reminisce about in the future.

Building Strong Bonds: Parenthood enables you to build deep and lasting bonds with your child. The connection you form with them becomes an unbreakable bond that provides a source of strength, love, and support. You take them from dependence to independence and you build foundations that are unique to you and your child.

Example: Sharing quality time with your child, engaging in conversations, and being there for them during both good and challenging times strengthen your relationship and create a lifelong connection.

The journey you share with your child is likened to weaving a tapestry. There will be various shades that brighten and darken the work. Sometimes the weave will be thick and full of texture, and other times lighter and softly woven. It builds into a magical imagery of your life shared with your child that has been created lovingly over the years.

‘We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.’                                           

                                                                         -Henry Ward Beecher                                             

Nurturing Emotional Intelligence in Children: Emphasising Emotional Care

As a parent, your emotional world has a profound impact on your child's emotional intelligence. By providing emotional care and support, you can help your child develop stable, consistent, patient, and reliable emotional skills, enabling them to navigate the world with greater understanding and empathy.

Here are some practical suggestions to help nurture your child's emotional intelligence:

1. Teach Emotional Literacy: Use age-appropriate language and concepts to help your child identify and understand their emotions. Engage in activities such as using emotion charts, role-playing scenarios, or storytelling to encourage your child to express and recognize their feelings effectively.

2. Cultivate Mindfulness: Introduce mindfulness practices to your child, such as deep breathing exercises or guided meditation. Encourage them to appreciate the present moment and help them incorporate mindfulness into their daily routine. For example, you can have a mindful minute together before starting a new task or enjoy a brief morning run, appreciating nature and its surroundings.

3. Foster Social-Emotional Learning: Encourage your child to learn valuable lessons from their everyday social experiences. Teach them to consider different perspectives, be open to others' opinions, and practice inclusivity in their thoughts and actions. Engage in meaningful discussions about their interactions, to help them develop empathy and understanding towards others.

4. Promote Empathy-Building Activities: Share ideas for activities that promote empathy, such as engaging in perspective-taking exercises, participating in community volunteering, or collaborating on group projects. Discuss how these activities can help your child understand different viewpoints and develop compassion for others. Consider joining a group or organisation together to reinforce the value of empathy and caring for others.

5. Teach Conflict Resolution Skills: Guide your child in resolving conflicts peacefully and constructively. Encourage active listening, compromise, and problem-solving discussions when conflicts arise, such as those between siblings. Use these moments as opportunities to practice simple conflict resolution techniques, helping your child develop valuable skills in managing disagreements.

6. Be a Positive Role Model: Serve as an influential adult who models emotional intelligence for your child. Demonstrate empathy, self-control, and effective communication in your interactions with others. Be mindful of your own emotional responses and provide a supportive, nurturing environment that encourages your child's emotional growth.

Remember, nurturing emotional intelligence is a gradual process that requires emotional care, patience, and wisdom from caring parents. By exposing your child to emotionally mature adults and providing a safe and loving environment, you empower them to interpret the world with greater empathy, understanding, and resilience. Hence they become more emotionally mature.

‘Children are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.’

                                                                                               - Jess Lair

Practical Ways to Nurture Learning: A Guide for Busy Parents

Parenting can be demanding, but incorporating learning into your child's daily life doesn't have to be an uphill struggle.

Here are some hands-on steps with accompanying examples to make the process easier and more enjoyable:

1. Establish Routines: Life's rhythm can simplify many things. Set up routines like breakfast time, homework hour, and bedtime rituals. For example, an after-school routine could involve a snack, a break, homework time, and then free play.
   
   2. Promote Positive Conversations: Maintain an encouraging dialogue about their school work. For instance, instead of concentrating on scores, discuss what they found exciting in their science project or history lesson.
   
   3. Utilise Incidental Learning: A casual chat during a car ride about how engines work or a discussion about photosynthesis while gardening can lead to learning moments.
   
   4. Optimise Lighting: A well-lit space enhances productivity. Ensure their study area has plenty of natural light during the day and an effective lamp for evening studies.
   
   5. Encourage Physical Activity: Play games that require movement, like a family soccer match. This balance ensures they're not stuck in front of screens all day.
   
   6. Initiate Engaging Conversations: Find topics they're interested in and discuss them. If your child loves space, for example, a dinner conversation might revolve around recent Mars missions.
   
   7. Celebrate Their Passions: Even if your child's fascination with drumming seems noisy, support them. Set 'drumming hours' to manage the noise and encourage their passion.
   
   8. Express Confidence in Them: Show excitement for what excites them. Your positive reactions, especially when they master a challenging task like a tough math problem, can do wonders for their confidence.
   
   9. Nurture a Reading Culture: Fill your home with varied reading materials. Leave books in their room, the living room, even in the kitchen. A family reading hour can be a fantastic daily habit.
   
   10. Foster Independence: Allow them to make choices, whether it's picking their outfit or deciding the weekend meal. This autonomy builds their confidence and decision-making skills.
   
   11. Model Positivity and Problem-Solving: Maintain a positive attitude and frame challenges as solvable problems. If a favourite toy gets lost, turn it into a fun detective game to find it.
   
   12. Personalised Learning: Tie their tasks to their interests. If your child is a football fan, use the sport to teach concepts such as angles and speed, or percentages by analysing player statistics.

Remember, every child learns differently. Embrace the diversity of experiences as learning opportunities and stay spontaneous. As Leonardo Da Vinci aptly put it, 'Learning never exhausts the mind.' This approach fosters a lifelong love of learning in your child.

Keeping perspective on what is important

Time goes so quickly with children. One minute they are a helpless infant and then the terrible two-year-old and then the sweet five-year-old ready for school. We cannot keep tabs on every moment, but we can try to reflect a little more deeply on just simply enjoying some moments, especially those that tell us more about our child.

I always remember how quickly a year went in a classroom. There were some precious moments with the children that you try and keep in your memory banks. Time can so easily diminish those memories.

This blog is inviting you to value those special moments as they will be those lasting and important memories going into your future. Do you remember when your child first walked? Perhaps you have a wonderful memory of them smiling at you for the first time. These special moments will become the fabric of your memories over the years. It is important to recognise that they have value and you need to look for those moments that are unique and special to you and your child. Their uniqueness makes them memorable.

Consider:

• The more you identify those special moments, the greater appreciation you have for your child’s development. You begin to notice so much more of their subtle aspects of growth.

• Each day, find something special that you notice about your child. Think about it and look for occasions when it is evident.

• Talk about those special moments to others. There is nothing more reinforcing than having conversations about those moments you cherished.

• Keep it simple. The very best moment can be found in the simplest of situations.

• Find humour in what your child does during the day. Try to avoid getting frustrated by their actions. In some cases, there can be quite delightful moments in seemingly difficult situations.

• If you see your child in a positive light, you will easily see those special moments in your child. They are not difficult to find.

• Sometimes saying nothing and just watching your child interacting with play or with others can give you such satisfaction.

• Some parents keep a journal of those special moments and enjoy going back over them through the years.

• Opportunities will pass you by if you are rushing through life. Each moment has its own merit and we often are too focused on what lies ahead and what we must do to get there.

• Never underestimate the value of that special moment that you are feeling with your child. It is precious and unique to you. Learn to look all around in odd places to find that moment.

• If you haven’t found that special moment for a while, take some time to slow down and just enjoy your child for a little while. That moment will come.

 Finally, because life is on the move all the time, freeze frame some moments to store for your future reflection of your child.

‘Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.’

 -Dr. Seuss

Now after Mother's Day what is there to celebrate?

I say keep the party going by keeping your image above water.

The job of a mother is too complex to put in one sentence or paragraph. It is different for everyone and everyone will respond differently to being a mother. I believe there are some important thoughts you need to keep in mind as you enter the post-Mother’s Day period.

• You are human and this means you are allowed to make mistakes. In fact, your child will see the real you by being authentic. That’s all they want anyway.

• Being positive with your child all the time is hard work, so if you need a break from being a mum for a short while, take it. In the longer run, you will feel better and be happier. More content women make better mums.

• Don’t be too hard on yourself when the day doesn't work out the way you wanted it to. Sometimes, our children will be disappointed and that’s OK. They need to see and learn about the real world, that it doesn’t entirely revolve around them!

• Plan each day with yourself included. This could be just a short walk or sipping tea on your own. You have a right to feel content throughout the day.

• Remember that you don't have to do everything around the house. The more independent you make your children by giving them jobs, the better they will develop independent skills.

• Friends and chats have a great healing capacity. Make sure you allow personal time for chats with good friends throughout the week.

• Little treats help to keep up the spirits. Discover a treat that makes you feel good and build it in occasionally. Don’t feel guilty. Children need to see that you need nurturing as well.

• Remember that you are working hard to be the best mum. That means that you don’t need to knock yourself out all the time to prove it. Slow and steady nurturing parenting does the job. In the longer term, this is what is remembered and valued.

• Your child loves you for who you are. You don't need to keep justifying why you do the things you do, this can get very tiring. Just be content that you are a work in progress as a great mum. That’s good enough.

 Finally, keep up your dignity. Tired mums often feel lowly about themselves. A little lipstick and powder and the right t-shirt can lift the spirits for the day.

 Happy Mother’s Year 2023-2024.

How to get the best from your child's teacher

Teachers lead a busy, demanding, life and each day presents a range of challenges that can surprise them in so many ways. Being in tune with the teacher and sensitive to the changeable nature of their day can mean that you get the best from your teacher when you want and need a chat with them.

Here are some reflections that might help you plan a more productive time with the teacher.

• Sometimes talking about matters on the hop at the classroom door can be frustrating for you and the teacher. Gauge how busy the teacher is, if you wish to approach them at the beginning or end of the day. Sometimes this can be not the best time to resolve matters. You may leave feeling quite frustrated. Respect the business of that time.

• If you have several matters to discuss, I recommend writing a list. Three points at the most. Make an appointment with the teacher. This way they are better prepared and more relaxed to chat.

• Take care if you have an issue regarding an incident in which your child was involved. Talk as though you appreciate that your child may have some accountability in the issue. There is nothing more frustrating for a teacher when a parent doesn't take a balanced approach. Your teacher is very astute at seeing how your child works and operates around their peers. You want and need an honest appraisal of the situation.

• If you are meeting to talk about concerns, ask about the positive aspects that your teachers see in your child. This is always important for a teacher to talk about the aspects that they really love about their students. This changes the tone of a meeting in a heartbeat.

• Occasional notes to your teacher thanking them for noticeable care of your child goes a long way. You can imagine that many of the parent calls they receive are always about problems.

• Helping in the classroom also creates a positive, more authentic relationship with your child’s teacher. Here they are prepared to be public with their teaching and your confidentiality and professional approach goes a long way to building relationships.

• Remember that if you have concerns regarding some matter in the classroom always address it to the teacher first, not the Principal. This shows loyalty and trust. Obviously, if the problem is unresolved then you could take it further.

• Try not to write long emails that are all about a concern that has unsettled you. These can be quite frustrating to teachers and if written late at night, a teacher can find them quite intrusive and in some cases intimidating. If unsettled about something, deal with it in the morning and make that appointment. Sometimes waiting some time can get you to reflect more reasonably on what is best to talk about. Angry emails only complicate the situation.

Teachers spend an amazing amount of time with your child throughout the year. It is a privileged position and gives an amazing insight into your child. Trust what they have to say and support their work throughout the year. In this way, your child and yourself will get the very best from their school experience.

         ‘Your children need your presence more than your presents.

                                                                               -Jesse Jackson.

Be confident as a parent you have what it takes

By nature of being a parent, you come with many capabilities. It is easy to underestimate how skilled you are, but by nature of being an adult, you have already learnt many skills that can be translated into useful tips for your child. A parent who feels confident about their skills gives a strong message to their child and this feeds into successful parenting. Confidence breeds reassurance in others.

It is also natural to feel anxious about providing the best advice and council to your growing child. After all, the world they are entering has altered from your world and the skills they need have shifted from the demands and expectations placed on you whilst growing up.

Here are a few thoughts on feeling and growing confident in being the best parent possible:

• Never underestimate your child. Understand that they have special gifts that are unique to them and that we should focus on all that makes them special and unique. Consider that they may not understand you, but your task is to understand them and respect what it is that they want. This can be difficult, but to understand them better you need to understand their world. You have more confidence in supporting your child when you really feel you know them.

• Take care not to compare. Each child is an individual and thinks and processes quite differently. We need to understand how they think and what drives their world. The more we show respect and understand our child, the greater union between you and your child.

• The education of your child takes such a priority. Know what your child is learning. Be part of that journey. Show interest and be available when and if they need your support. Learning is a lifelong journey and it happens in many ways. Your child needs to see that you are open to learning yourself and enjoying their journey through their schooling years. Don’t be anxious about what you know and what you have to offer. You have much to offer!!!

• Know that learning more about parenting is what all parents can benefit from. Read books on parenting. Look up journal items etc. Gain information and be an ongoing learner in the field of parenting.

• Find creative ways to be family. Real learning comes from joint experiences. Rock climb together. Kayak as a family. Keep the adventure coming. Take a few risks together. This always strengthens the bonding and builds family confidence.

• An important and easy way to parent well is to set up stable routines. Here, I refer to meal times, chores, morning expectations etc. Routine gives you clear directions and everyone knows what the expectations are for all. Start early when the children are little.

• You know your child very well. Have faith in your gut and intuitive sense. Parents have a natural sense when it comes to intuitive matters. Rely on your good sense when talking and negotiating with your child. But be an effective listener!

• Be natural and accept your mistakes. Children respect you when you show your human face and act in an authentic way. Nothing is gained by false confidence or bravado. Show them it is OK to make a mistake and that you can grow and learn from making mistakes. You will be less anxious about making errors when you accept that making mistakes is a normal part of parenting.

• Being a strong, active presence in the life of your child is a powerful way to parent well. Never underestimate that such a presence presents confidence and reassurance with all its foibles and successes.

• You will see many models of parenting over the years. Some will come with outstanding qualifications and some will challenge you especially when your child says: ‘Mary’s parents let her go to the party!’

Don’t be put off by all the models of ‘would be’ great parenting. You are the parents. You are the rock and you have such sensitivity to your child, that can only be understood by the intimacy of being their parent. Despite the fact that you may not have all the answers, you are there for all the right reasons. Just ensure that you listen effectively and are prepared to appreciate other ways of seeing the world. With confidence, you are in the best position to deal with many and varied matters of childhood.

Over the years in my role as Principal, I saw many families crossing my door. It was always a joy to observe families who were closely bonded by the nature of who they were. These families enjoyed being part of their family where expectations were normal, understanding and tolerance strong and no undue pressure appeared to bother them. Family for them was a natural process, with all its foibles and successes. Being family shouldn’t be complicated and above all you, the parent have much to offer your fledglings.

         ‘Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed in him first.’

                                                                                           - Pinterest

Start the year understanding ourselves better

Consider what is holding us back in many ways. If we are always focusing on helping our children, we also need to think about matters that we can turn around in our own life.

Sometimes we preoccupy ourselves with self doubt. We are quick to think its too hard, too difficult or not within our realm of capabilities. We have a tendency to inflate the threat in our mind and this can cause a shutdown of interest, in pushing further with the idea or activity. Show your child that we can manage self doubt by focusing on positive feelings about achievement. If your child sees how you push ahead with determination and avoid the negative feelings that make you doubt your ability, they will learn to be determined and start to develop a non defeatist mentality.

Beware perfectionism. It’s a killer when it comes to living comfortably around all sorts of things on a daily basis. It can make you feel vulnerable and never satisfied, anxious about not completing things. Even if you have this tendency, talk to your child about how it can make life difficult for you. Show them that perfectionism can bring you down and take care not to put too much pressure on them. Remind your child that they are good enough to do all sorts of things and they should take up opportunities where possible.

Remember that we have moments of feeling socially disengaged ourselves. Sometimes it is easier to stay disengaged and not put ourselves out there with others. Talk to your child if you have these feelings and tell them how you are working to solve them. Being socially engaged is critical for self development. Keep an eye on your child’s swings as your role is to motivate and encourage their social skills across many groups.

Remember we are not perfect individuals. As adults and parents we have all the usual fears and phobias that anyone can have across the years. The challenge for us is to be honest with our children and let them see that life is a work in progress. You are working on your own agendas and by inviting your child into learning about the strategies and tactics you use to help you, real understanding and teaching occurs. Your child loves you implicitly. They will be very sympathetic and will understand your journey better if you keep them in the loop. Rather than letting your child live around your own struggles and challenges, allow them in to see how you work on feeling better, getting better and setting goals. They are very sensitive to your emotional triggers and the more they understand about what presses your buttons, the more tolerant they are to the situation.  

You will be surprised how their developing empathy and love can do a lot of good for all the family. 

                   ‘I don’t want my children to follow in my footsteps

           I want them to take the path next to me and go further than

                   I could have ever dreamt possible.’

                                                                               -Picture quotes.com

Children can start thinking about bringing Christmas cheer to others

So many things to do and so many things to think about, plan for and to do before Christmas. With the children getting ready to leave school for the year, how about turning their heads to positive thoughts about sending good wishes to others? This is the season where gratitude and empathy are strong emotions that come out in our thoughts about people. It is a wonderful opportunity to build relationships, reconnect with others, build bridges and reconcile old wounds. It is a time to teach our children how to be the best at Christmas time and to see the best in others.

Consider:

• Invite your child to think about who they want to thank for all their help over the year. Invite them to make a list and reflect on how others have been instrumental in supporting them. Talk about how they could thank them. Some may be verbally thanked, others may receive a card etc.

• This is a great time for craft activities. Give the children polystyrene balls to let them create their own Christmas ball for the tree. This ball should be relevant to 2022 and tell a story about how the year has been for them. Making decorations for the tree has endless possibilities.

• Invite your child to keep a journal, this can be like a pre-Christmas calendar, only each day talks about something that has happened leading us happily to Christmas. It could be simply writing in:‘Today, December 1st I hugged my best friend.’ Each day has a happy statement about making Christmas a positive experience. It can be simple, but have a punch.

• Talk to your child about how you will thank their teacher and discuss what you want to say. Point out that it is about how their teacher has helped them throughout the year.

• Gift giving can be great, but it can get out of hand. Can some of these gifts be simple objects like scented candles that come with a message? Children need to learn that the size of the gift is not as important as the words on the card. Perhaps the card can be made by the child. Sometimes just a simple visit and a thank you is all you need to do.

• How about talking to your child about visiting family or friends not seen for a while? Invite them to think about who that would be. This is about inviting them to reflect on the less noticed and bringing them into the fold. Stepping outside our comfort zones is all about the Christmas spirit lived.

• There are many charities around at this time of the year. Could it be a time for your child to clear out their old toys and unused games? They could take them to one of the Christmas donation centres as part of their annual Christmas clear out.

• There are Christmas trees around town, set up to donate a gift to a child disadvantaged. Is it possible that your child buys a small gift using their pocket money? Let them reflect on giving to others less fortunate. This is called compassion.

• Class teachers in the last few weeks talk about the spirit of giving and sometimes school or the classroom takes a focus at Christmas. Is this something you can be part of as well as the family preparations for Christmas? Take part in school concerts class, Christmas lunches etc. Bring the season to life in many ways.

• Families will have many traditions over this time and it is important that those rituals are kept. Whatever your ritual consider the possibility of being a little more inclusive. This shows your child that you are inclusive and want the spirit of Christmas to be an open, not a closed environment.

• Remember, Christmas is a warm and happy time. When planning all the busy activities, try to let your child see the joy in the preparation and not the burden. It can be tiring but part of the joy is the anticipation and the waiting. After all, Father Christmas is coming! 

There is so much to think about at Christmas time and it is easy to simply follow the usual patterns. Make this Christmas a little different by introducing some new element that lifts the spirit and highlights the uniqueness and opportunities in each new Christmas. Do this with your child so that they see that being creative, enriches each year with a new spirit of the season and a new direction.

                  ‘Christmas isn’t a season, it’s a feeling.’

                                                                               -Edna Ferber

Slow down and gain more time. It makes for better parenting and personal growth

There are so many varied reasons why slowing down is almost impossible when living a busy life as a parent etc. However, should you learn some skills to slow down, who knows, you may regain some precious parent or personal time. In small ways, it may be possible to reclaim some time and to enjoy your child just a little bit more. Childhood moves quickly and soon we will be looking back and wondering where did the years go, did I parent well? What did I miss?

The following thoughts may trigger some thinking for yourself in finding strategies that can simply help slow you down a little to smell the roses with your child:

• When feeling stressed, take your mind to a place where you were very happy. Think about it for a while and you will be surprised how it eases some tension.

• Think about the pace that you keep. If others demand more of you, consider if that it’s fair and reasonable. Why should I change my pace which works for me? Everything has their pace in life. Be comfortable with yours.

• Take little moments of time out. Step into the yard, look at the flowers or simply enjoy the breeze. Those moments are great to reduce moments of stress.

• Try not to over plan. Leave some space, just for space itself. It certainly is easy to fill, but question is that really necessary?

• Your children are a great source of learning for you. The more you play with them, the more you become relaxed in their company. Allow it to just happen and enjoy the moment.

• Physical exercise is such a stress breaker. Even simply walking is life giving and takes your mind in fresher and healthier directions. Choose physical exercise that suits you.

• When we worry about something it can consume us. Let me ask you….. can you just let it go? Does worrying improve the situation? Do things change for the better when you worry? When you have those feelings simply look to your child. They are a warm, happy feeling.

• Are there some times when you can just stop the business and rest. Turn down the lights a little and reduce the pace. It can feel better because there is less.

• Some people like being busy with their hands and finding creative things to do. Giving time to chat with friends is a great stress buster. What do you like to do that makes you happy?

• Is it possible to give your self a full day off? How about half a day? Find a little more time for yourself not to do busy things but to enjoy yourself in your own space.

• Sometimes doing less and focusing on doing those things really well gives us more satisfaction. Being busy and doing more is a formula for lack of satisfaction in all areas.

• Are you tired from lots of talk? Busy conversations can be tiring and it is healthy to rest from talking. Maybe you can find some time to talk less, listen to music, walk etc.

• Think about two or three things that give you pleasure. Can you spend more time around those things. Be generous to yourself. Everyone likes a massage, but we can massage our sense of well being by having more of what makes us happy.

• Parents develop excellent skills in feeling guilty if they put themselves forward. This can be so destructive to well being, which after all, needs to be strong and constant to be an effective parent. Your personal well being is essential.

Finally, your child wants you well and happy. They become quite anxious when they see you unsettled and under pressure. They need to understand that your needs should be nurtured and that being a parent is balancing act between focusing on family and looking after yourself. That way everyone learns and benefits all round.

          ‘The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one                                             thought over another.’

                                                                                  -William James