5 TIPS TO REDUCE ANXIETY IN YOUR CHILD WHEN STARTING SCHOOL
Starting a new school year can be a big adjustment, especially for kids feeling a little nervous. As a parent, you can help ease their worries and boost their confidence with simple strategies. A smooth start sets the tone for a great year ahead! Gail Smith shows you how you can support your child through this transition.
Starting a new school year can be a big transition for many children, especially if they're nervous. Here are some tips for parents to help their child feel more confident and less anxious:
1. Familiarise Them with the School
• Why it works: New places can feel scary. Making the school feel familiar reduces the unknowns.
• Example: Walk around the school grounds together. Show them where the classrooms and toilets are. If the teacher is available, introduce them to your child.
• Story: “Last year, Mia visited her new school with her dad a week before it started. On the first day, she already knew how to find her classroom, so she felt less nervous walking in.”
2. Practise the School Routine
• Why it works: A predictable routine helps children feel prepared and in control.
• Example: One week before school starts, wake up at the time they’ll need to for school, eat breakfast, and pack a pretend lunch together. Practice leaving the house on time.
• Story: “Jason and his mum did a ‘practice day’ where they packed his backpack and walked to the bus stop. On the first day, Jason felt ready because he’d already done it once.”
3. Role-Play Scenarios
• Why it works: Practising interactions can build confidence.
• Example: Pretend to be a new classmate, and practise introducing themselves: “Hi, I’m Alex. What’s your name?” Also, practise asking the teacher questions like, “Can you help me with this?”
• Story: “Sophia was nervous about making friends, so her dad played the role of a shy classmate. After practising, Sophia felt ready to say hello to new kids at recess.”
4. Plan a Special "Back-to-School Tradition"
• Why it works: Creating a positive tradition makes the start of school exciting.
• Example: Let them pick out their first-day outfit, decorate their notebook with stickers, or have a “back-to-school breakfast” with their favourite food.
• Story: “Every year, Ella’s family bakes pancakes in the shape of letters spelling her name. It makes the first day of school something she looks forward to instead of dreading.”
5. Normalize Their Feelings
• Why it works: Knowing it’s okay to feel nervous helps kids manage their emotions.
• Example: Share a story about a time you felt nervous but things turned out okay, like starting a new job. Then talk about how they can overcome similar fears.
• Story: “When Liam told his mum he was scared about meeting new classmates, she said, ‘I felt the same way on my first day at work, but I ended up making friends. Let’s think of ways you can make friends, too.’
These examples make the advice practical and relatable for parents. Think about your child and what best works for them. Keeping anxieties to a minimum gives your child the best start for the year.
“Loving school is all about feeling safe and comfortable”
A few thoughts about what your child wants from school this year
The school year can be challenging. Here are some suggestions for parents to positively support their child throughout the school year.
School is such an immense part of a child’s life as well as having a major impact on the whole family. Of course we expect it to be a time that fulfils many objectives including stimulating a child’s imagination and developing a love for learning. We have high expectations when our child steps into the school and we trust that the environment will be a good fit for our child.
What make a child happy when at school? This is important as we now happy students are motivated students.
They need and want to be an active participant in class. This gives them credibility and a feeling of inclusion.
A busy school with plenty of activities excites and stimulates a child to become actively involved. Schools should not be docile places.
Every child needs to feel appreciated, to regularly have affirmation and acknowledgement for their efforts. No one copes well without feeling that they are capable of success and that they are recognised for their efforts by others that they value.
Regular success feeds the desire to keep learning. A school that focuses on success is a winner.
A child needs to be in relationship with other children. Developing friendships is critical to a child. Their social world is such an important part of their emotional growth. In a school setting, a child can have a powerful journey in building relationships over the years.
Here are some basic thoughts to aid and abet your child getting the best from school this year:
• Listen well to what they have to say
• Be available which may mean adjusting your busy schedule.
• Be a parent and not a friend which at times may take you in a different direction.
• Let them take ownership as much as possible independence is key to better learning.
Talk about school regularly and postively so that it comfortably intertwines with family life.
Remember that it is their school and their journey, which means at times you may need to step back and let them work through issues themselves.
Read everything that comes home from school and talk about all the activities available. Show as much interest as you can in what your child is doing at school.
Finally, for your child to be happy and get the best from the school you need to a be a parent that presents a happy face and shows great pride in all their endeavours.
Good luck family in starting the new school year!
‘It’s one of my favourite seasons of the year: back to school.’
-Dana Perino
8 dos and don'ts as your child starts school
School starting back can be a challenging, uncertain time. Here’s a few important tips to help you and your child smoothly adjust into Term 1.
This is a busy and exciting time for your child. They are about to be bombarded with a new class environment and all that involves. Now is a time for you to give them some space in the early days of starting school.
Consider these thoughts about a few don'ts at the beginning of the year.
Let your child settle in. Try not to ask too many questions especially in the first few weeks where your child is just getting their head around the changes.
Don’t set too high expectations so soon into the year. Your child will learn how the dynamics of the classroom works, they are in the early days of forming a relationship with their teacher and this may take some time to solidify.
Don’t put excessive demands on them at this stage of the year. They will have new demands on them which will take time to work through in their mind.
Have a presence at the school but give them space. They will be busy forming relationship or reacquainting themselves with friends. This can be a sensitive matter for some children.
Try to keep the social life of the family to a minimum in the first bracket of the year. Your child will come home from school tired and needing time to reorientate themselves to a new school year. Plenty of sleep and a balanced program is the best.
If you have queries about your child’s teachers, classroom situation etc. don’t speak too openly about your concerns to your child. They are forming their own opinions which will ultimately impact on their learning. Talk to your child’s teacher and be discreet about the nature of the conversations. Early opinions can often be wrong.
Everyone takes time to come out of holiday mode and into schools and routine. Don’t be too critical if it takes them a little time to reorientate. We all need adjustment time. After all it’s still Summer!
Try not to comment on their friendships. These may be changing and your child needs time to sift through all the children that are now part of their circle. Their emotional growth will come from being discerning, making mistakes and learning how to sustain friends. Remember they are not your friends.
Finally, these first few weeks will not look like the last two weeks even of this term. The classroom environment will evolve over time. Be patient let the grass settle and let your child find their roots in the new environment of school they are embracing for 2023. Teachers always plan term one as being a very flexible term, where they expect the unexpected and begin to build harmonious relationships with the children. All this takes time.
‘Slow and steady wins the race.’
-Robert Lloyd
6 simple tips on easing back into school
Here are 6 simple tips on easing back into school.
1. Be prepared
Involve the children in the general preparation for starting school. Have plenty of good conversations around all the items they will need. Talk about their new teacher and chat about their friendships that they will re-establish. Treat starting school as a normal process and one which will be exciting, a happy experience and full of a healthy hope. It’s amazing how positive talk can influence a person’s well being by building a healthy set of attitudes.
2. What is normal now?
There is no escaping the need for a robust conversation on where the pandemic is at and how schools will manage the situation (age-appropriate discussion of course.) Our children need to be part of the real world and take ownership of themselves when it comes to good hygiene habits. Simply relying on the teachers will not work. Children need to feel in control of their personal situation.
3. Sound home routines and yet be adjustable
6 Simple Steps on Easing Back into School
Now is the time to start talking about the weekly routines and what that will look like for everyone in the family. In such discussions be inclusive of strategies you take as a family to be safe from the virus. We now acknowledge that we live with this reality. This may mean at times accepting chaos and flowing with changes as they come. This will ultimately reduce stress.
4. Dealing with school feelings in the presence of the virus
Some children may have anxieties already about going back to school away from their safe home. Chat about the positive actions taken by schools and the Government to keep them safe at school. They need your reassurance that this is best for them. Try listing all the facts that lead to a safe setting. For example, using sanitiser in class, wearing masks etc. The list will mount up and give your child some reassurance.
5. The reluctant learner
Our children have recently experienced less classroom contact than ever before. Therefore, they have become familiar with less conversation, interaction and stimulus from group activities. This can be more of a problem for quieter, less confident children. A good way to strengthen and build their confidence is to keep robust chatter going at home. Provide games and challenges to stimulate engagement with others. Keep the home life an interactive environment where conversation is a strong force in all members of the family and not just the noisy ones.
6. Developing the best attitude for 2022
A helpful goal this year is to work on our mental attitude to the pandemic. The quality of our thoughts ripples through our actions. How we reflect on the changing situation can hinder or help my mental health and also impact on our children. We can consciously choose our attitude when we hear of new developments. If we choose to see the best and positively work to being optimistic, our children will feel happier and more secure. Teach them to be an owner and not a blamer through the current crisis.
Ten great ways to help your child settle back into school
1. Family chats about coming out of the lockdown
Gather as a family and talk about what it will be like going back to school after a long time. Let your child talk about their fears and anxious thoughts, which will generally be all about re-establishing friends, feeling safe and getting back their feeling of confidence in learning. Don’t be surprised or challenged by what they have to say, as it is their time to talk freely about their worries.
2. Reassure your child that school is a safe place
Reassure them that they will be in safe hands and that their health will be a big consideration with the school. Some children may be anxious about leaving the safety of home given the pandemic discussions that are around. It may have been a lockdown, but for a child, the home created a safe haven. Give your child accurate information about the pandemic, but make it age appropriate. This is important, as unsettling gossip at school can destabilise a child.
3. Plan you way out of the lockdown
Design a plan which may involve you taking them to school, talking to the teacher etc. whatever makes them feel that you are still present in their lives away from home. This will make the transition a more secure one and will build trust in the child in resuming school.
4. Change can bring feelings of grief
Never underestimate that your child will experience some grief in letting you go. The concentrated time they have spent with you has been for them a time of getting to know their parents more deeply and feeling comforted by your reassuring presence. Therefore, when school resumes, consider still spending dedicated quality time with them as going cold turkey will be very unsettling, especially for younger children.
5. Make home a consistent and safe place
Re-establishing themselves in a school setting will take time as routines and school patterns are slowly re-established or created. Keep home life consistent so that the child feels secure in the boundaries and familiar environment they know and enjoy. Their home has been a comfort zone for quite some time.
6. Check in with your child regularly.
Check in with them regularly about how they are coping back at school. It will be natural that they will have ups and downs, not the least of which will be friendships. They may wish to tell you all is well as not to upset you. However, be open to conversation and not too probing in questions.
‘Sometimes starting school after a long break can be difficult. I wonder how you are going with it?”
7. Never underestimate the effect of change
Going back to school is an immense change. Don’t underestimate its impact on the child. Therefore, adapt or moderate the family lifestyle to accommodate how your child is coping. This may mean some compromises or simply ensuring that quality time with family is maintained.
8. Affirm your child’s efforts in being a change agent
Affirm your child’s efforts in returning to school. This is quite a challenge for them on many levels. Your appreciation gives them some reassurance that they are doing their best under difficult circumstances and it is valued.
‘I am so proud that after a long time you can settle back into school. That is a big step after such a long break.’
9. Less talk about the things that bring us down
Keep negative chatter about the state of the pandemic down and talk about the positive aspects as we move forward. This is important to ensure that the children are not building negative thoughts, now that they are in the eyes and ears of a school community. Negative gossip can build anxiety.
10. Don’t underestimate the fatigue from such a change experience.
You may find your child may feel some fatigue, mental and physical in going back to school. This can be from all the new pressures and expectations placed on them which were not the case in the home environment. Plenty of rest at home and a gentle reintroduction into routines, sport etc. outside the home is the best way forward.
It is all about frequent checking in with their progress into the new framework of our post lockdown world.
Back to school and living the new norm
What is that new norm? It is about living with Covid 19 present around us. It is also having a raised awareness of how the condition can influence our lives. We are still reeling from the difficult year we had in 2020. Now our children return to school and try to start afresh with a new teacher, new friendships, challenges on the yard etc. We all remember the time when so suddenly school was shut and children went online at home to study. No surprises that we have some residual grief about the losses and isolation we all had to endure.
With the above in mind, I recommend that parents consider the following thoughts for a year that, for our children, will be a new norm. The schools may have changed some rules to adjust with dealing with the pandemic and children are aware that washing hands, keeping a distance etc. are all new rules we are living around.
Consider:
When planning for term one, go easy. The children may take extra time to adjust to the new school year and term one is all about meeting and greeting, setting boundaries and establishing oneself in the classroom.
Check in regularly with your child.
“This year has started well. How are you finding the new start?”
Be in touch with the teacher to ensure that your child is starting well. Best to do this early rather than finding out after too many unsettling times have occurred for the child.
Setting up a routine is important. Invite your child to help with the plan for that routine. Establish where they will do their homework and talk about the balance of activities across the week. Given the break they had last year, a whole term of afterschool activities across a week could be quite a task.
Ensure that bedtime is regular. Given the recent holidays and the different patterns of last year, establishing routine bedtime could be difficult for some time.
Talk occasionally as a family about the unique journey everyone had in the family last year. There may be some grief and disappointments that your child needs to talk about. Perhaps some anxiety about being away from you more often this year. Also, talk about the positive side to the home schooling and to your time together. It was, after all a unique year, unlikely to ever be repeated.
It is also important to talk generally about the state of the pandemic and how we are managing ourselves. There will be the new issue of the vaccination and there will be much talk about this matter both in the media and amongst the community. Let your child know that keeping abreast of current information that is accurate is important.
Are there aspects of last year that you wish to take up in 2021? Many families are already bemoaning the fact that they will have less quality time with their children. Plan to keep up some good habits you may have developed from last year when in isolation.
We all go into this new year with the hope that it will be better for everyone. As a family, we have grown in so many ways being together so intimately. We have initiated new ways to entertain ourselves and just be family. May the new year, bring with it recently acquired wisdom from 2020 and the hope that we go forward well prepared for 2021 and the new norm.
“Children will listen to you after they feel listened too.”
Back to school post covid