Six important parenting practices with an upbeat approach
Read on for 6 parenting tips to be more positive by involving children, and lightening the idea of control and discipline.
Parenting sometimes needs an upbeat approach to getting children involved. This way it takes some of the burden away and lightens the whole idea that parenting is all about control and discipline.
Give Lots of High-Fives for Good Stuff
When your child does something good, give them a high-five or a thumbs up! Make it a positive moment for both of you.
For example: "Awesome job on your drawing! High-five for all your hard work!"Make Clear Rules Like a Superhero Guide
Be a superhero with clear rules. Imagine you're creating a superhero guide for your family.
For example: "Our superhero guide says we have a bedtime routine to help us sleep like superheroes. What do you think?" Keep it light and amusing.Talk and Listen Like Best Friends Do
Talk and listen like you're each other's best friends.
For example: "Tell me about your day! I'm here to listen, just like best friends do."Show How It's Done, Super Parent Style
Show your child how to be super by being a super parent!
For example: "I'll show you how to clean up, and we'll be superheroes together! Ready?"Let Them Be the Captain, with You as Co-Captain
Your child is the captain, and you're the co-captain. Help them steer!
For example: "You're in charge of choosing today's snack. Captain's choice!"Create Fun Times, Like a Weekly Family Fiesta
Have a weekly family fiesta with games, stories, or just hanging out.
For example: "It's our special family time! What fun thing should we do this week for our family fiesta?"These ideas are all about creating a happy environment where the whole business of parenting is treated in a warm and engaging way with your child. Good parenting is about preventing problem behaviour and engaging with your child in a warm and authentic way. The more you listen effectively and give time, energy and love to your child, the more you will create the best climate to rear your child.
‘All children love a little theatre. Build it into your parenting’.
-Gail J Smith
Time to remind yourself that being a parent is a wonderful experience
A reminder to cherish the wonders of being a parent.
Unconditional Love: Being a parent allows you to experience a deep and unconditional love for your child. Something unique and special develops between you and the child. It is precious. It is irreplaceable. You own it.
Example: Seeing your child's smiling face when they wake up in the morning or hearing their laughter when you play together fills your heart with pure joy.
Milestone Moments: As a parent, you get to witness and celebrate numerous milestone moments in your child's life. You are part of it and you can take pride in all your contributions over the years. Each achievement becomes a source of immense pride and happiness.
Example: Capturing the moment when your child takes their first step or saying their first words creates memories that you'll cherish forever.
Sense of Purpose: Parenting gives you a strong sense of purpose and meaning. Nurturing and guiding a child through life's challenges allows you to make a positive impact and shape their future.
Example: Knowing that you are raising a compassionate, kind, and responsible individual who will contribute positively to society, fills you with a sense of purpose and fulfilment.
Having a child in your life reignites the wonders of life through a child’s eyes. It awakens in us the child we were and it invites us to share in simple joys and pleasures. It clears the cobwebs that can develop as we plough through our adult life.
Example: Watching your child marvel at a rainbow or discover the beauty of a butterfly can remind you of the wonders that often go unnoticed in the hustle and bustle of adult life. They awaken in you the child and that is liberating.
Learning and Growing Together: Parenthood offers continuous opportunities for personal growth and learning. As you navigate the challenges and joys of raising a child, you gain valuable insights, patience, and resilience. Having another individual in your life that relies on you, needs care and understanding will demand from you your absolute attention. There is no escaping building tolerance, understanding, empathy etc.
Example: Overcoming sleepless nights, mastering the art of multitasking, and learning to be patient during tantrums are all experiences that help you grow and become a better version of yourself.
Emotional Satisfaction: Parenting brings immense emotional fulfilment. The love, laughter, and moments of connection you share with your child create a deep sense of happiness and contentment. How emotionally satisfying it is to see yourself in your child.
Example: Embracing your child in a warm hug after a long day or hearing them say, "I love you, Mom/Dad," can instantly fill your heart with overwhelming joy and gratitude. Enjoy those special little moments. They come spontaneously and frequently.
Creating Life Memories: Being a parent allows you to create lasting memories that you and your child will cherish throughout your lives. From family vacations to everyday adventures, these moments become the foundation of a lifetime of shared experiences.
Example: Going on a family road trip and exploring new places together, or even simple activities like baking cakes and having picnics in the park, become treasured memories that you can reminisce about in the future.
Building Strong Bonds: Parenthood enables you to build deep and lasting bonds with your child. The connection you form with them becomes an unbreakable bond that provides a source of strength, love, and support. You take them from dependence to independence and you build foundations that are unique to you and your child.
Example: Sharing quality time with your child, engaging in conversations, and being there for them during both good and challenging times strengthen your relationship and create a lifelong connection.
The journey you share with your child is likened to weaving a tapestry. There will be various shades that brighten and darken the work. Sometimes the weave will be thick and full of texture, and other times lighter and softly woven. It builds into a magical imagery of your life shared with your child that has been created lovingly over the years.
‘We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.’
-Henry Ward Beecher
Keeping perspective on what is important
Time goes so quickly with children, here are a few reminders to cherish the smaller moments.
Time goes so quickly with children. One minute they are a helpless infant and then the terrible two-year-old and then the sweet five-year-old ready for school. We cannot keep tabs on every moment, but we can try to reflect a little more deeply on just simply enjoying some moments, especially those that tell us more about our child.
I always remember how quickly a year went in a classroom. There were some precious moments with the children that you try and keep in your memory banks. Time can so easily diminish those memories.
This blog is inviting you to value those special moments as they will be those lasting and important memories going into your future. Do you remember when your child first walked? Perhaps you have a wonderful memory of them smiling at you for the first time. These special moments will become the fabric of your memories over the years. It is important to recognise that they have value and you need to look for those moments that are unique and special to you and your child. Their uniqueness makes them memorable.
Consider:
The more you identify those special moments, the greater appreciation you have for your child’s development. You begin to notice so much more of their subtle aspects of growth.
Each day, find something special that you notice about your child. Think about it and look for occasions when it is evident.
Talk about those special moments to others. There is nothing more reinforcing than having conversations about those moments you cherished.
Keep it simple. The very best moment can be found in the simplest of situations.
Find humour in what your child does during the day. Try to avoid getting frustrated by their actions. In some cases, there can be quite delightful moments in seemingly difficult situations.
If you see your child in a positive light, you will easily see those special moments in your child. They are not difficult to find.
Sometimes saying nothing and just watching your child interacting with play or with others can give you such satisfaction.
Some parents keep a journal of those special moments and enjoy going back over them through the years.
Opportunities will pass you by if you are rushing through life. Each moment has its own merit and we often are too focused on what lies ahead and what we must do to get there.
Never underestimate the value of that special moment that you are feeling with your child. It is precious and unique to you. Learn to look all around in odd places to find that moment.
If you haven’t found that special moment for a while, take some time to slow down and just enjoy your child for a little while. That moment will come.
Finally, because life is on the move all the time, freeze frame some moments to store for your future reflection of your child.
‘Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.’
-Dr. Seuss
A little bit of gratefulness goes along way
Everyone wants to feel appreciated. Showing gratitude also feels great. It is a power tool for building strong and trusting relationships. What a powerhouse of a gift to give to your child.
There are many words for it such as gratitude, thankfulness, appreciation and just thanks. Gratitude sometimes comes automatically, but it is a wonderful gift to give to your children. It can be taught and in this way, a child learns the value of using it.
Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences and generally it improves one’s health. It is a power tool for building strong and trusting relationships. What a powerhouse of a gift to give to your child.
Research tell us that grateful children tend to be much happier in themselves, more optimistic and have better social support from their peers. Grateful teenagers appear more at peace with their lives and are more engaged in school work, community and perform better at school.
The following thoughts help us think about how we can help our children develop the value of gratefulness.
Simply show a lot of gratitude in your own life. Be specific. Talk about things that make you grateful throughout the day. A child learns from hearing about your own happy experiences.
Point out when you notice others showing gratitude. It could be someone in the family or a friend etc. The more examples, the better.
Talk about famous people valued for their humble and grateful way of living. Why do people value them?
Acts of gratitude can be used to make amends, apologise and help solve problems. Demonstrate some time in your life that through being grateful the situation simply improved.
A wonderful activity in class is to ask children each day to write down three things for which they are grateful. This could be a fun activity to do at home. Some children may enjoy writing in a grateful journal.
Get into the habit of using simple thank yous and pleasantries as often as possible in the presence of your child.
Don't do everything for them. They will appreciate things more if they have jobs and responsibilities. If you take them away from your child there is a selfishness that will creep in to a child’s personality.
Being grateful reduces stress and improves self esteem. When you feel better by demonstrating gratefulness, talk to your child about how good it makes you feel.
Consider doing good will projects with your child. This is an excellent way to do something positive and helpful with your child. It is also a chance to talk about how this gives you pleasure to help others. Good modelling always runs off!
Think about various ways you as a family can be generous. How about donating toys, clothes etc. All this demonstrates how thinking of others is an important value in your family.
Consider sending thank you notes and asking your child to join in. This can be a special time talking about the words to use and why such words are important.
Finally, developing gratitude in children will take time. Your modelling and finding opportunities where your child can demonstrate gratitude will reap benefits in the longer term. Your child will grow, see and feel the advantages in being a grateful person as their years progress.
‘The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.’
-William James