How to motivate your child to learn
Motivating your child to learn can be quite challenging, here’s a few parenting tips on how to keep your child motivated to learn inside and outside of the classroom.
This can be a challenge for some children who can lose motivation at school and find the whole exercise of school just too much. They can develop a flight or fight mentality to escape school or simply disengage, which is such a frustrating and helpless experience for the family to understand. Merely encouraging them or advising them about the advantages of school does not make a great deal of difference. In fact the more we talk about it, the more they can feel a failure in your eyes and further reject school.
Consider the following ideas to help motivate a child about school:
• Develop at home an atmosphere where learning is seen as a good thing. Talk about how you learn and what you enjoy when you want to read a book etc. Keep reading alive at home as we know that being able to read is a key to being happy and successful at school. The process of learning to read helps keep the brain active in processing information and communication. A child who reads will have less problems being motivated at school. Reading excites the imagination and keeps the interest high in learning.
• Encourage your child to be independent in their learning. Try not to put controls on them or limit what they must learn. We now know that children learn in all different ways and this creative process should be encouraged. Give them choices and affirm what they choose to learn. A motivated child will always want to follow their passions.
• Keep the conversations going and keep them frequent. Make them positive and full of reassurance and confidence in their efforts. Listen to their opinions and applaud creative thinking. A child needs to feel that how they learn has value and that what they have to say is important. They may challenge you in the way they think but that is OK!
• Notice the uniqueness of your child and home in on their interests. Sometimes their passions and interests last a short while, sometimes they last forever. Either way, your child needs to be supported in those interests and made to feel that their passions are powerful and valued. Help them to discover more about their passions. Perhaps if fishing is their interest go to the library together and collect books on fishing.
• All children learn differently. Any teacher will tell you this. Don't be critical of their learning style. Allow them to discover their best way of learning. When we force their hand at changing how they learn, this can destroy a child’s confidence and they can begin to doubt their ability to learn.
• Consider sharing games together. They are a great family activity but also reinforce that learning is a successful tool in playing games. A child works out that to be successful at the game they should try harder and understand more.
• Remember that the process of learning is what is important. Reward and acknowledge the effort, not the outcome. Remember that a child looks for your approval and is more motivated by your acceptance of their efforts rather than how they were successful. If absolute success is your goal, a child will become anxious about rising to meet that challenge. This is where disengagement can happen.
• Every child has strengths. It is easy for us to see our weaknesses and so important for a child to feel success through their strengths. Teachers are very good at picking up on this in class and will focus on a child’s strength to give them reassurance that they can easily learn. It also makes children less anxious about their weaknesses. This also teaches a child that failure is part of life and that we use it as a means to learn. Focusing on their weakness only shrouds them in a sense of failure and disengagement from school is not far away.
• Be a learner yourself and use opportunities around you to engage your child in learning. This is about developing an inquiring mind. Learning is catchy and your child will see you as someone helping them to develop an inquiring mind and to be curious about all sorts of things.
• Children can from time to time lose some motivation at school.
Remember they are children and may need time to simply rest a little from formal learning. Your teacher has an excellent knowledge on how your child learns and I would recommend you speak to them when motivation drops off.
‘There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly
-Buckskin Fuller
Is your child actively engaged in the classroom?
I can remember for years watching eager parents look through the school windows to observe how their children were performing in class. It’s natural to be interested in how your child operates and learns in a classroom. After all, they are dealing with peers in a slightly challenging way. What we need to understand is that all children will respond differently in a classroom setting. Some are talkers and hand wavers for every question. Some just ask questions to be noticed. We call them attention seekers. Others will sit back quietly and observe the others. Some children will disengage quickly and learn to shut down. Often first children in my experience are more cautious, while the second child, more boisterous and interested in engagement with the class and teacher. And so, the variance in the classroom goes on. The question is do some children interfere in the learning of others or are less noisy and engaging children missing out?
The answer is simple. It all comes down to the awareness and skill of the teacher. They understand how their children learn and recognise how each child reacts to them in the classroom. It was common professional talk amongst staff about how to deal with the shifting dynamic of children in their room.
There is no research that I am aware of, that suggests which child will learn the most effectively in a classroom. Different personalities are the order of the day. Teachers will work their class to suit the individual needs of the child. They recognise that some children will need encouragement and guidance in communicating their needs to the teacher. Others need guidance in learning how to control their questioning out loud, so that everyone gets a fair share. I believe that being a quiet or loud child in the classroom does not necessarily mean that they will learn better. Children process and learn in different ways. Also, their relationship with the teacher will have an impact on their confidence in expressing themselves.
Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom.
I suggest:
Talk to your teacher about how your child responds in class.
Ask the teacher are there any encouragements I can give them to operate more effectively. Is their style of learning effective?
Notice how your child operates in the family. Are they quiet, do they listen well or are they the loud and dominant one? I do believe that the order of the child in the family does have an impact on how they respond in a classroom. You certainly see this in your own family.
Accept that all children will learn differently and your child, over time, will develop their own style of learning. If there are concerns the teacher will inform you.
Allow your child to be themselves. There is some truth I believe in …. what you see is what you get. A louder more vocal child enjoys having a strong presence. Quieter children learn from observing others and reflecting on how they will respond.
The only concern worth noting is when a child perhaps through shyness or lack of confidence is not questioning enough and is not exploring their learning. This needs a chat to the teacher as we know that developing an inquiring mind is how children learn. We do not want them shutting down disengaging from learning. If they close down this can become a habit that is hard to break. When you hear from your child, “I am bored’, beware! This is a sign that their learning is under threat.
Every child will have their unique style of engagement in a classroom. It keeps developing as the child gets older. It is often affected by their success in the learning process and of course positive reinforcement by the teacher.
After building a strong relationship with children, the teacher monitors their responses to learning situations. They weave their way carefully around all children, respecting and enriching their learning style, monitoring children’s response to their teaching and planting seeds where necessary.
“Education is not the filling of a pail but the lighting of a fire.”