Learning to be tolerant around your child
Gail Smith sheds light on the power of tolerance in shaping how our children perceive and treat us, as well as others. The Primary Years.
In busy households with so much happening it is easy to lose your patience with your child. After all we are human and there are certain things that push our buttons. If we learn to be more tolerant around our child such modelling will reflect in the way our children treat us and others. There is much to be said about showing tolerance to our child.
We live in a global world. Practizing tolerance helps children appreciate and embrace diversity. It fosters an understanding that people come from different backgrounds, cultures, and perspectives, enriching their worldview.
Tolerance teaches children compassion and empathy. When they learn to accept and respect others, they are more likely to show kindness and understanding in their interactions. So your modelling of tolerance will mean that you demonstrate compassion and empathy.
Tolerant individuals tend to have stronger social skills. Teaching children tolerance helps them navigate diverse social environments, communicate effectively, and build positive relationships.
Tolerance challenges and reduces prejudiced attitudes and stereotypes. It encourages children to see individuals for who they are rather than making assumptions based on superficial characteristics. Your example of treating everyone well will make a difference to your child’s perception of how to operate around different people
Tolerance contributes to the creation of inclusive communities. When children learn to appreciate differences, they actively contribute to fostering an environment where everyone feels welcome and valued.
In a tolerant learning environment, children feel more comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their ideas. This openness enhances the overall educational experience and encourages creativity. Your home should embrace tolerance which makes for a safe environment.
Tolerance is a key factor in preventing bullying and conflict. When children understand and accept each other's differences, there is less room for negative behaviours based on prejudice or discrimination. Children don't go looking for differences when they are open to accepting others.
In an increasingly globalized world, tolerance is a crucial skill. Children who learn to appreciate and respect diversity are better prepared to navigate an interconnected and multicultural society. Our children need to understand the bigger world
Tolerance contributes to the development of emotional intelligence. Children learn to manage their emotions in response to diverse situations, fostering resilience and adaptability. They see the world from a more mature perspective.
A home where there is tolerance is a safe haven for a child. If a child feels that they will be given space to talk about their concerns they are more likely to talk more openly and comfortably about what is on their mind.
“To build tolerance, practise breathing slowly before dealing with confronting issues. Space makes all the difference.”
Your child needs your patience as they progress through school
Patience is a vital virtue for parents with children in school, this blog states the reasons why.
Patience is a vital virtue for parents with children in school because:
Learning Takes Time: Learning is a gradual process, and children need time to absorb new information and develop their skills. Being patient allows them the necessary space to learn at their own pace. Nothing happens overnight and consider that your child will developmentally keep evolving and growing in their own time.
Individual Progress Varies: Every child has a unique learning style and pace. Patience is essential to recognise and respect these individual differences without imposing unrealistic expectations. Allow your child their right to pace their learning, this gives them time to process and to observe and learn what is happening around them. There are no rewards for speed. Remember the story of the turtle and the hare.
Mistakes Are Part of Learning: Children often make mistakes as they learn. This is a natural part of learning. Patience enables parents to offer support and guidance rather than react negatively to errors, fostering a more positive learning environment. Being patient allows your child their right to grow at their own pace.
Building Resilience: Patience helps children build resilience and develop a growth mindset. When they face challenges, patient parents can encourage perseverance and a willingness to learn from setbacks. Resilient people are not quick to be anxious and develop a maturity around them that allows time and space to heal and recover.
Effective Communication: Patient parents are better at listening and understanding their children's concerns and questions about school. This open communication fosters a stronger parent-child relationship and a more supportive educational experience. If you listen well you need to take time and be prepared that there is no timeline for listening effectively.
Modelling Behaviour: Parents who demonstrate patience serve as very effective role models for their children. When children see their parents remaining patient in the face of difficulties, they are more likely to adopt this valuable trait themselves, which can benefit their academic and personal lives. A child will comfortably approach a parent who will be calm, present and patient. That is such an inviting way to present your case when nervous.
Finally, patience can and should be acquired by everyone. It sets the scene for healthy relationships with your child. No one can resist a patient person. There is no need to feel that your child should be at a level of development that is expected of them. Who sets those expectations? Children are individuals and over time and with supportive environments, they will learn best at their own pace. Better quality learning spread over time than demanding and setting targets.
‘Let your child breathe gently and comfortably through their learning journey.’
-Gail J Smith
How to learn about patience
This is a tricky one for children. By nature, they are slow to be patient especially when they are young. They are living in a fast pace world where social media teaches them that instant gratification and immediate response is to be expected and highly valued. One could say that learning patience is an outdated skill. Consider even simple things. For example, do we wait to have hot cross buns at Easter? No, we find them in the shops as early as February when the last dying ambers of Christmas are present.
We live in a world where instant satisfaction is expected and is regarded as the norm. It is not seen as impatience but a necessary requirement of daily life. It is all about we have a right to be happy all the time because we deserve getting what we want.
Teaching patience, therefore, is necessary as it does not come as an innate skill. People who work hard at being patient learn the art of waiting and with it the appropriate rewards. With patience comes a sense of being at peace and controlling the stress of having things straight away.
Fortunately, school teaches about the value of patience and accordingly rewards children for demonstrating an ability to be patient. Walk into any classroom and you will see many signs referring to dates when certain activities and celebrations will occur. There is often an excitable countdown to a special day. Children must wait for their name to be called out and at times may not be chosen straight away for activities. They have to go with the flow and learn the art of patience. And so, the list of reasons why patience is needed and demanded is clear in a school setting.
At home there are many occasions when patience can be encouraged as a great gift and is highly valued in your family. Waiting for a birthday is a typical one. The anticipation builds and then the excitement of the day. The wait is over and accordingly rewarded.
Consider:
We all find it difficult to be patient. This is not an innate skill.
Can you think of several occasions across the week, month etc. when you can reinforce and reward a child’s patience?
Put up calendar dates on the fridge that you are looking forward to. Talk about the wait and the anticipation that is building.
Do you know and admire patient people? Talk about them to your child. How were they rewarded? What made them so likeable?
Ask your child about the times they had to be patient in their school day. Note how being patient kept the class moving.
Demonstrate patience to your child in your own life.
“I have an important meeting with my boss this week. I will wait patiently for this as I think it is about my promotion.”
How about the general nature of being patient? We wait to be served in a restaurant or perhaps we are in a queue at the supermarket. There are many daily occasions when patience is needed. These are perfect times to show your child that being patient is the best way forward. Impatience only leads to stress and poor behaviour on occasions.
Slowly and steadily, you can demonstrate and highlight times when patience wins the day. A child needs positive examples, especially as the anxiousness of society deans quick and immediate responses.
“We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.”