Ten Steps to more effective parenting
Parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about doing your best, even when life throws challenges your way. Changing circumstances can sometimes make it feel like we’re falling short, but often, we’re doing better than we think. Gail Smith’s checklist is here to help you reflect on your parenting habits and recognize the great job you’re doing.
Here is a checklist to help you reflect on some good parenting habits. As parents we are not perfect and sometimes changing life situations have a way of limiting our ability to do our best. However, it is worth checking in to see how you can from time to time improve on your parenting style. You will probably surprise yourself that you are doing a great job!
Consider:
Always keep up boosting your child’s sense of self-worth. They need to feel valued. If it comes from you it is special.
Notice the times when you can reward them. We call this catching them when they are good. This can be for little things, ‘How clever you are to open that box. It seems tightly sealed.’
Setting boundaries are important. A child feels safer with boundaries and needs to be clear with the directions you give them. Try not to overload them with too many directions and instructions.
Always find time for your child. They grow quickly but need your constant presence in their life especially when they are young.
Your image with your child is critical if you want them to follow your values. Your modelling will have a big impact on how they see and interpret the world.
Always work hard to make communication a key feature of your relationship. Find the time to talk to them and listen with sensitivity to what they have to say.
As a parent you will need to be flexible and open to frequent changes. A child’s life is not static and prepare to grow yourself as a parent over the years.
To show that your love is unconditional having a strong and constant presence in their life is so important. You will, from time to time be disappointed but your love does not come with conditions.
Try to introduce some regular patterns into family life. This could be the ritual of a family meal together, reading at bed time etc. Children find ritual comforting.
Try to be a positive person. We know that sound mental health can be directly linked to having a positive disposition. A child feels more secure around a happy parent.
Try not to make judgements too quickly when your child talks to you about challenging situations. They need to feel safe talking to you without feeling that you will disapprove.
All our children ask of us is to be the best we can. That means being authentic, accepting your mistakes and treating them with the dignity and care that you wish for yourself.
“Parenthood... it’s about guiding the next generation and forgiving the last.’”
Help your child have a great start to the school year
Every child will encounter a mix of excitement and anxiety at the start of a new school year. Gail Smith shares tips on actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know you are navigating this journey together.
It is different experience for every child and of course the child's order in the family will impact on how a child adjusts to school. Every child though will experience some anxiety mixed with excitement as they begin a new year. As a parent, there are some actions you can take to ease the pressure for your child and let them know that you are sharing this time together. Connect well and early in the year with the school.
Routine is important
Set a consistent daily routine that includes a regular wake-up time, meal schedule, and bedtime. Routines provide stability and help children feel more secure as they start school. Children need their boundaries and rituals.
Keep the conversation going
Foster open communication with your child. Ask about their day, listen actively and be supportive. This helps them feel comfortable sharing their experiences and concerns. Try not to probe with too many questions.
Set up a homework space for your child
Designate a quiet and organized space for homework. Having a dedicated area fosters concentration and helps your child establish good study habits. Get them involved in choosing and setting up this space.
Start giving them independent tasks
Encourage your child to take on age-appropriate responsibilities. This builds a sense of independence and helps them develop essential life skills. School will be teaching about being independent learners.
Keep the balance at home
Emphasize the importance of a healthy lifestyle. Ensure your child gets enough sleep, eats nutritious meals, and stays active. A healthy body supports a healthy mind. Perhaps they can help create their own nutritious lunch box.
Connect well and early in the year with the school
Establish a positive relationship with your child's teachers. Attend parent-teacher meetings, stay informed about school activities, and collaborate with educators to support your child's learning. Simply be in touch regularly.
Celebrate special moments along the way
Celebrate both big and small achievements. Positive reinforcement encourages your child's efforts and boosts their confidence as they navigate the challenges of school.
Build social stamina in your child
Encourage your child to make new friends and be kind to others. Developing social skills is an essential aspect of their overall growth and well-being.
Learning to be adaptable
Acknowledge that starting school may bring changes and challenges. Be patient, offer reassurance, and help your child adapt to the new environment. Talk about how change can be a positive thing.
Being involved helps your child adapt to school
Stay involved in your child's education. Attend school events, volunteer when possible, and stay informed about their progress. Your active involvement reinforces the importance of education in their life. Children learn with a lot more enthusiasm when they know you value education.
Never underestimate the difference you make to a child’s settling into school. Your reassurance and presence gives them a feeling of being safe and not dealing with the adjustment on their own. They grow stronger from your encouragement and presence.
“The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you.”
Giving sport a high profile
I hear the debate is raging yet again about providing adequate sport in schools for children. Now I understand it is also about the schools offering defined skills in sport and giving children a real taste of engagement and a sense of feeling active through physical activity.
I understand that schools need to provide sport across the week. It offers children so much on so many physical and social levels. Some years ago, it was mandated by the government, the amount of time that must be given to sport across the week in schools. I can certainly see the reason and respect the concepts behind all of this. However, let’s be realistic. How much can teachers offer to children, given the heightened expectations that are already placed on them. Some teachers have a natural disposition to teach sport, are passionate about it and can teach very specific skills. Not all teachers have that skill and will work to the best of their ability to provide physical exercise and sporting activities but it is not their strength.
If we want to engage our children in sport, I think parents should engage their children in a sports activity that will offer them very specific skills in one area. The argument that rages at the moment is all about getting children involved, interested and passionate about being fitter and enjoying sport as a way of life. This is where parents should take responsibility and as a family engage in sport as a way of life. For example, join a football club, tennis club, swimming team etc. Find the sport that draws your child into it with enthusiasm and a developing drive to improve their performance.
Fabulous benefits of out of school sports
By engaging in organised out of school sport your child will:
Learn about the value of teams and how they influence the individual.
Understand how to improve their performance. They will come to recognise in themselves improvement through effort.
Value healthy competition. Supporting other team members is also a great skill in human compassion and empathy.
Understand cooperation and teamship.
Value the importance of being fit.
The list goes on and yes teachers will do their best in the limited time they have to raise the profile of sport for children. However, it will not be the same as children taking part in an organised and well-managed team sport. They will be mixing with like-minded children and enjoy their parent’s involvement. The conversations at home are enriched as you talk about the sporting experiences and joy of the challenge.
Of course, I caution that parents should research the sporting club and be satisfied that the values are what you want for your child. Once you join the club, you the parents will so gain from meeting like-minded parents.
Sport outside school is also about long term commitment. It requires regular attendance and loyalty to the sporting activities and events. It reduces a child’s downtime at home, which can often lead to reduced hours in front of a screen and it requires good family planning across the week.
Children initially will often vacillate about what sport they wish to join and there is some perseverance needed from parents here. However, keep the longer-term goal in mind. This is about your child actively involved in a sport that builds fitness, raises their awareness and joy of physical fitness and engages them for the long haul in physical sport.
Having a developed appreciation of the value of sport only comes from personal engagement and the joy of feeling well physically.
“The more difficult the victory, the greater the happiness in winning.”