A few thoughts about what your child wants from school this year
The school year can be challenging. Here are some suggestions for parents to positively support their child throughout the school year.
School is such an immense part of a child’s life as well as having a major impact on the whole family. Of course we expect it to be a time that fulfils many objectives including stimulating a child’s imagination and developing a love for learning. We have high expectations when our child steps into the school and we trust that the environment will be a good fit for our child.
What make a child happy when at school? This is important as we now happy students are motivated students.
They need and want to be an active participant in class. This gives them credibility and a feeling of inclusion.
A busy school with plenty of activities excites and stimulates a child to become actively involved. Schools should not be docile places.
Every child needs to feel appreciated, to regularly have affirmation and acknowledgement for their efforts. No one copes well without feeling that they are capable of success and that they are recognised for their efforts by others that they value.
Regular success feeds the desire to keep learning. A school that focuses on success is a winner.
A child needs to be in relationship with other children. Developing friendships is critical to a child. Their social world is such an important part of their emotional growth. In a school setting, a child can have a powerful journey in building relationships over the years.
Here are some basic thoughts to aid and abet your child getting the best from school this year:
• Listen well to what they have to say
• Be available which may mean adjusting your busy schedule.
• Be a parent and not a friend which at times may take you in a different direction.
• Let them take ownership as much as possible independence is key to better learning.
Talk about school regularly and postively so that it comfortably intertwines with family life.
Remember that it is their school and their journey, which means at times you may need to step back and let them work through issues themselves.
Read everything that comes home from school and talk about all the activities available. Show as much interest as you can in what your child is doing at school.
Finally, for your child to be happy and get the best from the school you need to a be a parent that presents a happy face and shows great pride in all their endeavours.
Good luck family in starting the new school year!
‘It’s one of my favourite seasons of the year: back to school.’
-Dana Perino
8 dos and don'ts as your child starts school
School starting back can be a challenging, uncertain time. Here’s a few important tips to help you and your child smoothly adjust into Term 1.
This is a busy and exciting time for your child. They are about to be bombarded with a new class environment and all that involves. Now is a time for you to give them some space in the early days of starting school.
Consider these thoughts about a few don'ts at the beginning of the year.
Let your child settle in. Try not to ask too many questions especially in the first few weeks where your child is just getting their head around the changes.
Don’t set too high expectations so soon into the year. Your child will learn how the dynamics of the classroom works, they are in the early days of forming a relationship with their teacher and this may take some time to solidify.
Don’t put excessive demands on them at this stage of the year. They will have new demands on them which will take time to work through in their mind.
Have a presence at the school but give them space. They will be busy forming relationship or reacquainting themselves with friends. This can be a sensitive matter for some children.
Try to keep the social life of the family to a minimum in the first bracket of the year. Your child will come home from school tired and needing time to reorientate themselves to a new school year. Plenty of sleep and a balanced program is the best.
If you have queries about your child’s teachers, classroom situation etc. don’t speak too openly about your concerns to your child. They are forming their own opinions which will ultimately impact on their learning. Talk to your child’s teacher and be discreet about the nature of the conversations. Early opinions can often be wrong.
Everyone takes time to come out of holiday mode and into schools and routine. Don’t be too critical if it takes them a little time to reorientate. We all need adjustment time. After all it’s still Summer!
Try not to comment on their friendships. These may be changing and your child needs time to sift through all the children that are now part of their circle. Their emotional growth will come from being discerning, making mistakes and learning how to sustain friends. Remember they are not your friends.
Finally, these first few weeks will not look like the last two weeks even of this term. The classroom environment will evolve over time. Be patient let the grass settle and let your child find their roots in the new environment of school they are embracing for 2023. Teachers always plan term one as being a very flexible term, where they expect the unexpected and begin to build harmonious relationships with the children. All this takes time.
‘Slow and steady wins the race.’
-Robert Lloyd
6 simple tips on easing back into school
Here are 6 simple tips on easing back into school.
1. Be prepared
Involve the children in the general preparation for starting school. Have plenty of good conversations around all the items they will need. Talk about their new teacher and chat about their friendships that they will re-establish. Treat starting school as a normal process and one which will be exciting, a happy experience and full of a healthy hope. It’s amazing how positive talk can influence a person’s well being by building a healthy set of attitudes.
2. What is normal now?
There is no escaping the need for a robust conversation on where the pandemic is at and how schools will manage the situation (age-appropriate discussion of course.) Our children need to be part of the real world and take ownership of themselves when it comes to good hygiene habits. Simply relying on the teachers will not work. Children need to feel in control of their personal situation.
3. Sound home routines and yet be adjustable
6 Simple Steps on Easing Back into School
Now is the time to start talking about the weekly routines and what that will look like for everyone in the family. In such discussions be inclusive of strategies you take as a family to be safe from the virus. We now acknowledge that we live with this reality. This may mean at times accepting chaos and flowing with changes as they come. This will ultimately reduce stress.
4. Dealing with school feelings in the presence of the virus
Some children may have anxieties already about going back to school away from their safe home. Chat about the positive actions taken by schools and the Government to keep them safe at school. They need your reassurance that this is best for them. Try listing all the facts that lead to a safe setting. For example, using sanitiser in class, wearing masks etc. The list will mount up and give your child some reassurance.
5. The reluctant learner
Our children have recently experienced less classroom contact than ever before. Therefore, they have become familiar with less conversation, interaction and stimulus from group activities. This can be more of a problem for quieter, less confident children. A good way to strengthen and build their confidence is to keep robust chatter going at home. Provide games and challenges to stimulate engagement with others. Keep the home life an interactive environment where conversation is a strong force in all members of the family and not just the noisy ones.
6. Developing the best attitude for 2022
A helpful goal this year is to work on our mental attitude to the pandemic. The quality of our thoughts ripples through our actions. How we reflect on the changing situation can hinder or help my mental health and also impact on our children. We can consciously choose our attitude when we hear of new developments. If we choose to see the best and positively work to being optimistic, our children will feel happier and more secure. Teach them to be an owner and not a blamer through the current crisis.
So, what’s in a school?
This is certainly is a challenging question. I would be the first to say dig deep and you will find many opportunities for developing yourself and growing familiar with your child’s school. Being around a school is a vibrant and lively feeling. These school years with your child are precious and will not return once complete. Therefore, embrace them.
My recommendation is for you to research what the school offers and how you can tap into its life or perhaps add to its life.
The following are considerations about what’s in a school:
How involved are you able to be at your child’s school?
Explore the library and learn from the librarian what and how you can access books for the family. Often school libraries have specific sections for parents and they often hold a wonderful feelings section to support children going through emotional issues. Also, if you have time, you could always help in the library. There is so much to learn about books in this environment.
Does your school offer parenting nights? Schools often look to supporting family education. This can be through a one-night session or a series of nights.
Read the school newsletter regularly to get all the updates in the life of the school. This certainly gives you a broad picture of what is happening across the school.
In my time as Principal, many parents in midlife looking for a career change, assisted in classrooms and took up the teacher aid course. Teaching is a great career to take up after having had other work and life experiences.
Simply helping in the classroom gives you a chance to learn about how reading, writing etc., is taught. You can pick up great teaching strategies from just being around teachers. It is also fascinating to watch how teachers manage and relate to the children with such control.
If you enjoy sports, often being involved in the sports programs at the school is a wonderful way to commit to a valuable part of the curriculum.
Schoolyards are great places to build friendships with other families. Many lifelong friends have been made from meeting families in the school setting.
When the school offers social days such as Book Week, where there are dress-ups, consider joining in and sharing in the fun with your child.
Do you have special talents that you can offer the school? For example, can you paint, teach cooking or crafts? Schools love to hear from talented parents who contribute their skills to teaching children.
Check-in with your child’s teacher to see if they need assistance. Your presence in your child’s classroom is a buzz for your child.
These thoughts are to explore and invite you into the life of the school. Your child benefits from your engagement and school become a natural extension to their home life.
“Behind the child that makes the most progress is an actively involved parent.”
First days of school for your prep child
What an adventure this is for all the family. Here are some tips on making the early days a success for all.
Your child will be full of excitement and anticipation. This can sometimes go pear-shaped and turn into distress unless handled well. Keep in mind that you need to be physically close to your child as you enter school. This is comforting for them.
·Talk about some happy things you notice such as the school play equipment, coloured seats etc. Here you are filling their thoughts that this is a good place to be. You certainly approve!
Go in the class with your child and make sure they are comfortably seated. Quickly space will fill and it will become a noisy place of children, parents, extended families etc. all competing for a space near their child. Here you talk calmly and stay with them but leave quickly when told. Finish your conversation with something like:
“I’ll meet you over there. I love you.”
Tell them exactly where you will meet them. In fact, go to the place that you will meet them after school. Honouring this by being on time is very important to the child.
Show them the lunch you packed. Let them help and put in some treats. Afterall school should be a happy place with warm memories. Also, put in a smiley picture in the lunchbox. This is such a treat when they spot it at lunchtime.
When they leave the classroom after school just let them talk and you be the great listener with much excitement in your voice about what your child has discovered in the day. Don’t be questioning too much, just let them talk.
For several days keep the same routine up. The teachers will guide the parents as to how and when they want parents present in the room.
Remember that school consumes much of their week now and this will require some family adjustment to cope with tears, tiredness, insecurities etc. that will appear in the first few weeks. It is quite common that when the shine comes off the new aspect of school, the child begins to reflect on what they are missing at home. They then begin to feel remorseful being away from family. This is especially the case when there are younger siblings at home.
Encourage independence as the days progress. They can help you plan their clothes for the new school day, organise school bag and lunch. Take it slowly but indicate that growing independence is all part of being a real school student.
Always be on time to collect your child and make certain that if there are new arrangements for the pickup, your child must have a full grasp of this information. Home time can be a busy and unsettling time for some children as they anxiously wait to be collected.
If this is not your first child in prep, remember that for them it is still a unique time in their life and attention should be given to their special settling in time. Sometimes because the family are familiar with school, there can be a tendency to think that your latest prep will settle much faster. Surprisingly this may not be the case.
Label all items of clothing, lunch boxes etc. This is important so that your child feels secure and there is less anxiety when these items are lost. Little disturbance such as misplaced water bottles can be unsettling situations for the child.
Everyone in the family loves their prep child. They are the centre of attention. They will succeed and prosper. Extended family such as grandparents all become intensely interested in the joy of their grandchild starting school. Sometimes these expectations can be overwhelming for the child especially if they are feeling sad and have moments of wanting to be home. Keep an eye on how they are feeling on all fronts. Remember we cannot set expectations for them other than they settle well and begin to enjoy the school scene.
Ultimately, we want the child to begin loving the journey of school on many fronts.
“This is the beginning of anything you want.”
First day jitters can last a little while.
A check in now that school is back
Yes, school is back in all its glory! This means that families can start to set up routines and schedules for their week so that everyone is in control.
However, let’s consider a few facts. Is it possible that as a family some habits will have changed? I would like to list some possibilities to think about with regard to the coronavirus pandemic that has impacted on all our lives. This list is to get us thinking about possible changes to our life and family that project us into a new norm.
Returning back to school after isolation and Covid-19
Notice how your relationship with your children has changed. The quality time together that you had at home is isolation may now be challenging you to be more in touch with your child. Try to hang onto what you have gained in this area.
Going back to routines can also drop down our time together to talk and engage as a family. Your child may grieve the loss of the strong connection you developed. Keep an eye on maintaining that relationship.
Now that your child is at school how is that impacting on your life? Are you missing the strong bond that developed? Have you noticed your routines changing? Is there more of a focus now on finding some personal time. Can you keep hanging on to that precious development in your life?
Check in with your child about how they are adjusting to school. The excitement will be there at first but their biological clocks are shifting again and the attention which a parent gave is now less. Are they coping with school routines?
Talk as a family regularly about the experiences as a family of being at home. List all the great experiences and memories that you want to keep. Highlight important learning that you as a family gained.
Consider taking a family photo of yourselves in your Covid mode. This can be important to talk about later as a family. Your child will have a very distinctive memory of the journey and you want to bring it into a favourable family experience.
Are there any habits that you have developed with your child? Did they begin to show more independence around the house such as cooking, cleaning etc. Try to keep these independent developments continuing and try not to fall back into habits of doing tasks for them.
Discuss how your child learnt from online school activities. This certainly would have strengthened their computer skills and you will find that teachers will now be keen to give them more group activities requiring conversation and interaction. Talk to your child about what style of learning they enjoy the most and why? This encourages them to reflect on how to learn effectively and what suits them.
Your child, especially if they are younger may become anxious about losing contact with you given the intensity of your relationship over the past several weeks. You may need to check in with them about their feelings of having less time with you.
The pandemic came with some very scary predictions over the past few weeks. Talk positively about why your child is safe going back to school and give them reassurance by gently educating them on how to be safe both at school, in public and at home.
What you as a family have experienced is quite unique. There is no research available to tell us how the future will look or to guide us coming out of the pandemic.
As the parent, your role is to keep your child educated with the facts always age-appropriate information of course. Giving them frequent reassurance that you are strongly present in their lives is, I consider a high priority as the child meanders their way into our new normality.
Getting away from the school holiday blues.
As you approach the end of the Summer holidays, so many thoughts go through the parent’s mind. School is, of course, a big component as getting your child ready requires preparations - uniforms, classroom materials, setting up weekly routines about pickups, etc.
Your child is also reflecting on the new class structure, building a new relationship with the teacher and how they will fit into the culture of the classroom.
Any wonder that anxiety about these big changes gradually creeps into the last few weeks of holidays.
Change is definitely afoot! There will be a change for both the parents and the child. Perhaps work situations may be changing for the parents as well. Each year presents new challenges. The child is older, parenting is getting ready for change and the family structure may be altering in some way. Nothing remains constant.
Here are a few ideas in making the transition to the new school year a smooth one, where all members of the family feel satisfied.
Is your child feeling a little anxiety about going to school?
Start with a general family meeting and together list all the various activities that need to be done before the new year routine begins in earnest. In this list talk about who takes responsibility for different activities across the remaining holiday weeks. Ensure that your child is a contributor to this discussion.
Using a diary or checklist, record when you will complete certain tasks and tick them off as time goes.
Continue to enjoy the remaining time you have with holidays, but graduate back to normal routines. For example, bedtimes could include reading in bed.
Encourage the child to set up their room ready for school and check off when you have everything in place such as a new school bag, books, pencils etc. Discuss with your child any changes they may wish to make to their room or the set up of the house in order to make this year at school run smoothly.
As a family reflect on the previous year and invite suggestions as to how this year can run more smoothly. What factors complicated our year and how can we avoid the same problems developing? Also discuss the success aspects to last year’s routines.
Start to introduce days that are not so long for the child. This encourages the child to develop the pattern of school hours. It is also about setting more controlled boundaries which are not the case in the Summer holidays.
Ensure your child has plenty of sleep in the last stage of the holidays. This will help them cope with the early anxieties of starting school.
Talk about relationships that will develop in the class. Often children worry if friends are not included in their new classroom. Talk about the value of meeting new classmates and making new friends.
If possible, arrange some play dates with children from your child’s new class group.
Remember that you the parent is also considered in planning for the new year. Consider your workload and capacity to take on new projects. Your ability to cope throughout the year is directly related to your general happiness. Are you putting in place positive support for yourself?
This final point is an important catalyst for the success of the year.
“If mama isn’t happy no one is! Summer is over.
Time to officially remember what day of the week it is.”
Starting School
There is so much to say about starting school for the very first time. Where to begin?
The earliest experiences are crucial for a positive start. Think about your own images of starting school and I am certain that how people operated around you was an important factor in feeling good about yourself. Children will look for reinforcement from parents that school is a good place to be. Talk to your child about your own experiences. Tell them how proud they make you, now that they are going to school. Ensure that the early transition experiences are happy occasions.
Celebrate as a family when they come home from school and listen well to what they tell you about their day. Put their art work etc. boldly displayed around the house and make certain that they see you in a happy and relaxed relationship with your teacher. This reassures them that school is a good extension of home and a happy place in which mum is feeling satisfied.
This is all about building early trust between home and school.
Try not to talk about the long haul of school life. Young children are only concerned about the present. I always remember a little prep boy appeared at my office in early March, school bag on his back, crying quietly and saying to me, "thank you Mrs Smith I can go home now cause I can read”.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that this was the beginning of a long journey at school over many years! I am pleased to report that this young man is a qualified engineer now and we worked through the problem.