Be snap happy.

All children love a game of snap. It is so easy to play and much fun in the process.  Ask the child at home to  write on pieces of cardboard, the feelings that are important to them. For example, they could be happy, excited, feel anger sometimes etc. Also write feelings that sometimes can interfere on happy feelings such as sad, embarrassed angry, hurt, worried. Make up two sets of cards and tell the child that when they snap, they talk about that feeling and how best to manage it.

This is an excellent  way to enjoy talking about feelings that from time to time unsettle the child. Discussing the feeling through the game, puts the feeling out in the open and parents can talk about how they dealt with their feelings. The game enables everyone to openly discuss feelings and in the midst of it, the child  talks freely about emotions that we all share. Getting it out in the open is such a great way of understanding the human face of emotions.

Sometimes when a new emotion appears, for example, shyness suggest we could add this feeling to our cards. Counselors often use card games as a way of getting conversation started.

Discussing feeling through a game, helps to draw feeling out into the open.

A picture is worth a thousand words

Sometimes younger children struggle to understand how to deal with a situation that can overwhelm them. This could be about finding friends or it could be trying to work out how to play with other children. One way to help a child is to simply draw the story. How best to play, for example. The first page shows the child meeting the friend. The second page may show them greeting the child and the third page could be about what to say such as, "can I play with you?".

The story unfolds through the simple pictures. Keep the pictures and story simple. We call this a social story and they work very well with children who cannot respond well to just being told what to do.  Some children do not process the problem easily through discussion.

I have used this with many a child and they love telling the story through the pictures. The child especially enjoys telling you how successful they were when they went through the process and followed the picture book. A social story can change if you find it needs a new direction. Children learn through visual images and when they are emotional about matters, pictures speak a thousand words. Simple drawings can say many unspoken words which gives the child a chance to express their feelings comfortably. To help a young child, the parents can draw their own social story to help the child understand the value of the pictures.

How can we help our children through a simple drawing?

A house of happy thoughts

Have some fun with your children and at the same time reinforce positive thoughts that you are having about your child.

Children thrive on reassurance and combined with the element of surprise, they feel quite excited and anticipate what is next. It becomes a very pleasant game of reassurance. In a child's bedroom, for example, write little affirming messages and scatter them in different places - under the pillow could be a message, "you have such a great smile.” Perhaps in their kitchen mug the words "thanks for helping me today.”

The messages can be put in a variety of spaces around the house and of course can change to suit the occasion. A surprise note in the school lunch box or school bag is a wonderful warm and reassuring feeling for a child during the school day. The fact that there is a written statement about a positive aspect of the child, builds their sense of self worth and reminds them that they are valued. Some children may keep the notes and paste them in a book which is handy to read from time to time. Children will often write loving notes to parents and this is our way of doing the same.

I often bring a child into my office and together we guess where I have left my note! No surprises that they find it very fast!

When there are significant absences from school

Teachers often comment that when children are absent from school for a reasonable length of time, they can feel more vulnerable returning to class and fitting back into the classroom environment.

They sometimes feel that through their absence their relationship with the other children is more vulnerable and that socially engaging with them will be difficult.

 When a child is absent for a few weeks, it is a good idea to keep talking about school and if the child has been sick, I would encourage a few phone calls with friends to keep in touch.

If there has been an extended holiday which has caused the absence, consider the child writing emails or keeping in touch through whatever social media the school is using. This gives the child the sense that they are not so removed from their school and that dialogue with friends is alive and well.

In today's world of fast communication, it is not difficult to keep the conversation going between school and family.

Absences from school

What's in a school year?

There are four term in a school year.  

A teacher thinks and plans four terms, each with 10 or eleven weeks work. As parents you will soon get into a similar routine of planning around the four terms.

First term is all about establishment, building relationships, getting to know the children in class and establishing friendship groups. Some children are not great change agents and this can take a little time. For some children, it may take the whole term, especially if they bonded well with the previous teacher and class. Teachers are settling into routines and it is important that the parents understand how the teachers work. This way you can support your child best by talking about the teacher's style..

Term two, routines are well set up and expectations very clearly set. This is a time to ensure your child has established patterns of working at home and at school.

Term three is serious consolidation and by this time, teachers have a lot of data about their students where they set goals very specifically for each child. This is also winter time and it is not uncommon for children to have bouts of illness. Keep an eye on their health and make certain they get plenty of sleep around this time.

Term four is a happy one and a time to really deepen their connections with teachers and class. Towards the end of the year, anxiety can creep in with the prospect of change. This is a time to chat to them about the excitement of change and remind them how they settled into their current class. 

 Remember school is about routine and each term has its own character and purpose. 

How can you plan for the different school terms?