Be a Parent with Purpose: 5 Outstanding Ways to Parent with Intention

We don’t have to try too hard but with simple behaviour that is solid and reliable you can make a big difference for your child.

Model Values You Want to Teach

• Children learn more from what they see than what they’re told. Be intentional about modelling kindness, patience, respect, and responsibility.

• Example: If you want your child to be empathetic, let them see you helping others and speaking kindly, even when things are tough.

Create Meaningful Family Rituals

• Family traditions foster connection and give children a sense of belonging. Purposeful rituals—like a weekly game night or gratitude journal — build memories and reinforce family values.

• Example: Start each day by sharing affirmations with your child.

Focus on Connection Over Perfection

• It’s easy to get caught up in the desire to parent perfectly, but children thrive when they feel emotionally connected to their parents. Spend time listening, hugging, and laughing together.

• Example: Instead of correcting every mistake, use them as opportunities to bond and teach. For instance, say, “I love you even when things go wrong.”

Encourage Independence with Guidance

• Purposeful parents prepare their children for the real world by teaching problem-solving, accountability, and independence. Step back when appropriate but offer a safety net when needed.

• Example: Give your child age-appropriate responsibilities, like managing their homework, and discuss their challenges instead of solving problems for them.

Prioritize Presence Over Multitasking

• Being present means giving your full attention, even if just for a few minutes each day. It’s not about the amount of time but the quality of your engagement.

• Example: Set aside 15-20 minutes daily to talk without distractions—no phones, just undivided attention. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was the best part of your day?”

These strategies will help parents embrace their roles with intention, fostering trust, love, and growth in their children’s lives. Being a purposeful parent means being mindful, consistent, and engaged—not perfect, just present.

“Your presence around your child gives them comfort and reassurance.”

— Gail J Smith

What does a child think about a parent's expectations?

What a big topic. This can become and messy!

Most parents will tell a teacher that they expect high but realistic expectations for their child's achievements. Most parents will also tell you that they regularly affirm their children's work and that they encourage them to do their best.  They will also add that at no point to do they criticise their children for poor work. However, some children still feel undervalued and unsuccessful which can lead to lack of motivation from the child.

A tricky problem if you are a parent just wanting the best for your child!

When I worked with children struggling with their perceived lack of performance and personal image, the following was clearly evident.

• The child had through some way, felt that their parents were not proud of them. They also believed that what they did just wasn't making them valued the way that they wanted to be valued.
• Their perception was quite a blocker for parents who thought that they were affirming their children adequately.

The answer can be quite complex but the following tools can help parents in presenting a strong image of support for their child. These tools have worked well with some families.

Try using the following:

 Always talk about the positive using an “I” statement.

“I appreciate all your efforts today.”

“I like the work you have done. It makes me see all the effort you made.”

Also occasionally saying:

“Sometimes I found it hard to do well myself and I feel so glad that you are having a go at everything you do. This makes me proud”.

The emphasis here is on the child understanding that their work has had an impact on you. For some children, this extra parental reinforcement is so necessary.

Also just affirming simple activities that we take for granted can be helpful in reassuring the child.

“Thanks for helping me with the groceries. I feel less tired now.”

“ I love your smile. It makes me happy.”

Some children just need more affirmation and reassurance that they are valued. It may not be the case for all the children in your family who may need less personal reassurance.

Every child has their own emotional journey. Sometimes the order of the family can have an impact on where you see yourself, being an only child or just dealing with strong sibling personalities can shape your perceptions. Whatever the reason, every child will respond to their parents differently, subject to how emotionally secure they feel in the eyes of their parents.

Keep in mind:

• How you treat each child in the family may require different treatment.
• No child is a mirror image of their siblings.
• Every child listens carefully for parental reassurance, some listen more closely and need to hear it more often.

Every child listens carefully for parental reassurance, some listen more closely and need to hear it more often.