How to get the best from your child's teacher
Read some suggestions on how you could plan a productive time with your child’s teacher.
Teachers lead a busy, demanding, life and each day presents a range of challenges that can surprise them in so many ways. Being in tune with the teacher and sensitive to the changeable nature of their day can mean that you get the best from your teacher when you want and need a chat with them.
Here are some reflections that might help you plan a more productive time with the teacher.
Sometimes talking about matters on the hop at the classroom door can be frustrating for you and the teacher. Gauge how busy the teacher is, if you wish to approach them at the beginning or end of the day. Sometimes this can be not the best time to resolve matters. You may leave feeling quite frustrated. Respect the business of that time.
If you have several matters to discuss, I recommend writing a list. Three points at the most. Make an appointment with the teacher. This way they are better prepared and more relaxed to chat.
Take care if you have an issue regarding an incident in which your child was involved. Talk as though you appreciate that your child may have some accountability in the issue. There is nothing more frustrating for a teacher when a parent doesn't take a balanced approach. Your teacher is very astute at seeing how your child works and operates around their peers. You want and need an honest appraisal of the situation.
If you are meeting to talk about concerns, ask about the positive aspects that your teachers see in your child. This is always important for a teacher to talk about the aspects that they really love about their students. This changes the tone of a meeting in a heartbeat.
Occasional notes to your teacher thanking them for noticeable care of your child goes a long way. You can imagine that many of the parent calls they receive are always about problems.
Helping in the classroom also creates a positive, more authentic relationship with your child’s teacher. Here they are prepared to be public with their teaching and your confidentiality and professional approach goes a long way to building relationships.
Remember that if you have concerns regarding some matter in the classroom always address it to the teacher first, not the Principal. This shows loyalty and trust. Obviously, if the problem is unresolved then you could take it further.
Try not to write long emails that are all about a concern that has unsettled you. These can be quite frustrating to teachers and if written late at night, a teacher can find them quite intrusive and in some cases intimidating. If unsettled about something, deal with it in the morning and make that appointment. Sometimes waiting some time can get you to reflect more reasonably on what is best to talk about. Angry emails only complicate the situation.
Teachers spend an amazing amount of time with your child throughout the year. It is a privileged position and gives an amazing insight into your child. Trust what they have to say and support their work throughout the year. In this way, your child and yourself will get the very best from their school experience.
‘Your children need your presence more than your presents.
-Jesse Jackson.
8 dos and don'ts as your child starts school
School starting back can be a challenging, uncertain time. Here’s a few important tips to help you and your child smoothly adjust into Term 1.
This is a busy and exciting time for your child. They are about to be bombarded with a new class environment and all that involves. Now is a time for you to give them some space in the early days of starting school.
Consider these thoughts about a few don'ts at the beginning of the year.
Let your child settle in. Try not to ask too many questions especially in the first few weeks where your child is just getting their head around the changes.
Don’t set too high expectations so soon into the year. Your child will learn how the dynamics of the classroom works, they are in the early days of forming a relationship with their teacher and this may take some time to solidify.
Don’t put excessive demands on them at this stage of the year. They will have new demands on them which will take time to work through in their mind.
Have a presence at the school but give them space. They will be busy forming relationship or reacquainting themselves with friends. This can be a sensitive matter for some children.
Try to keep the social life of the family to a minimum in the first bracket of the year. Your child will come home from school tired and needing time to reorientate themselves to a new school year. Plenty of sleep and a balanced program is the best.
If you have queries about your child’s teachers, classroom situation etc. don’t speak too openly about your concerns to your child. They are forming their own opinions which will ultimately impact on their learning. Talk to your child’s teacher and be discreet about the nature of the conversations. Early opinions can often be wrong.
Everyone takes time to come out of holiday mode and into schools and routine. Don’t be too critical if it takes them a little time to reorientate. We all need adjustment time. After all it’s still Summer!
Try not to comment on their friendships. These may be changing and your child needs time to sift through all the children that are now part of their circle. Their emotional growth will come from being discerning, making mistakes and learning how to sustain friends. Remember they are not your friends.
Finally, these first few weeks will not look like the last two weeks even of this term. The classroom environment will evolve over time. Be patient let the grass settle and let your child find their roots in the new environment of school they are embracing for 2023. Teachers always plan term one as being a very flexible term, where they expect the unexpected and begin to build harmonious relationships with the children. All this takes time.
‘Slow and steady wins the race.’
-Robert Lloyd
Nine things to think about regarding school
Enjoy a partnership with your Child’s school.
We are well into term two. Your child should feel settled, familiar with the class and working comfortably and steadily with the teacher. Trust between the child and the teacher should be well established by now.
Homework routines should be just that, routines. Teachers should only be providing homework for your child that is within reason. Check the time your child is doing homework as the later times of the day make for a difficult task.
Check in with the tiredness of your child. The weather is closing in, days are cold and children can be less motivated. Try to keep up the momentum and throw in a few treats along the way.
Is your child well established with friendship groups? This is all about feeling capable with peers. It does not mean that everyone should have a special friend. In fact, the more inclusive the better. If your child is unsettled in this area have a chat with your teacher. Relationships with peers is important for their mental wellbeing and social growth.
Teachers will be writing reports and soon there will be the parent teacher chats. Talk to your child about how they are going with midyear work. Don’t let the parent teacher chat be the first time you have talked to your child about their school work. This should be an ongoing interest. The parent teacher chat should not come as a surprise to you. It should be a time of hearing reassuring words from the teacher and coming away with an understanding of where the child needs to go next in their learning.
Have you changed anything important in the family that the school needs to know? Often addresses, phone numbers etc. can change and the school needs current information especially with regard to emergency numbers.
The school is a very stable hub for your child throughout the year. Keep it in mind if you need support. Chat to the principal if you have queries or need to learn more. It is amazing what you will learn from a chat.
If you are the one who picks up your child after school, I advise being on time. At this stage of the year children can get tired and need reassurance. This is especially the case with the younger ones. Being on time is reassuring to them. This also applies to being on time in the morning. Children can become quite unsettled if walking into a classroom late.
Watch the balance between afterschool activities and the pressure of school. Check in with your child about this as sometimes afterschool activities can just tip them over the edge.
Oh, what a difference a school makes!
‘The mind once enlightened cannot become dark.’
-Thomas Paine