What to think about at this stage of the school year
This school year is coming to an end. Here are some parenting suggestions to prepare and positively embrace change with your child.
Everyone is starting to feel the weariness of a long school year. The talk is out and about that the school year is coming to an end and what surprises will this bring to the school? There is a growing sense of anticipation about finishing and also this brings anxious thoughts about change and what will it mean to me.
Perhaps you the parent have had some unsettling moments at the school this year and you feel in yourself the desire to bring it all to a close, which is natural.. For a child, this is a time to think about what they want to hang onto and what they want to let go. Mixed messages and emotions can run high.
The following thoughts may help you plan a little better with your child in getting ready for the school closure:
Remember that a child will become anxious about losing friends to another class. This is an excellent opportunity to talk to them about establishing new networks and building on current friendships.
Teachers will plan the classes based on many factors, but I always have faith in their mature ability to put the best in place. This may cause some emotional challenges for your child, but try to let the school make these decisions as attempting to influence who your child associates with are thwart with problems. Growth happens often with the child meeting new friends and learning new ways to communicate.
Talk about change as a positive thing and as a family, talk about all the positive experiences that come from change. I was always fascinated when new children started at the school throughout the year. In most cases they not only found friends quickly, but actually blossomed under new structures and rules. Our children are more flexible than sometimes we give them credit.
Teachers will discuss and ask your child who they would like to be placed with in the new year. This is a great conversation to have at home. A great way to talk about how change can be exciting at a social level. It also touches on who they think is the best person that helps them keep focussed. This may not always be their best friend.
If your child is starting to get anxious about the change, have a chat with their teacher. They do great work in this area to help children adjust to change.
If your teacher has had strong bonds with their teacher, letting them go can be hard. However, talk about that teacher’s strengths and what you look forward to in the next teacher. Positive talk is the key here.
Saying goodbyes well is an important art to teach our children. Discuss how your child will say goodbye for the year and how they will express themselves when they say goodbye. This is a great chance to talk about manners and to reflect on all the generous support given to your child over the year. Let them create positive and effective ways to say goodbye and thank you. There will be many small occasions to think about where someone helped your child during the year.
As it is a time for closure, ask your child to be responsible and bring home all that is necessary. Let them be responsible for keeping you in the loop about school events etc. Their ownership here is so important.
Try not to have days where school is skipped because everything is winding down and not being in attendance doesn’t matter. Bring the school year to a glorious closure, where your child’s attendance is seen as important and a statement about the total value of school. This teaches your child about the responsibility of regularity.
Above all, enjoy the closing weeks of school and together, as a family, discuss and celebrate all the highs and lows that are a natural part of school life. Maybe there are some reflections on things that your child will change in the new year? This leads to great discussions about self-improvement, setting goals etc. Whilst they are important, so too is the approaching feeling of warm, summer days and rest for all the family.
‘Don’t cry because it’s over.
Smile because it happened.’
-Dr Seuss
That strange sense of finishing school
Children will be feeling that strange sense of leaving school, disengaging with friends and getting mentally ready for Christmas and the New Year.
It seems such a rush. After all they have only been at school for such a short recovery time. However, this has been 2020 and for all in the family, change and shifting normalities are the norm.
What to do about it:
Accept it! You can’t change what has been an extraordinary year for everyone. It still comes with its challenges of wearing masks in shops etc. Embrace it with the children.
Keep the family talk up about the year and allow the children to freely talk about their challenges across that time. Do this in a positive, reassuring way.
Understand that behaviour may be different with your child and tolerate a little more when it comes to changed behaviour.
Keep up the play and allow your child to enjoy free time. Remember that COVID-19 normal was so different and the child is adjusting to getting back to routine. Perhaps with some trepidation of that change.
Letting go of friends for the year can cause some distress as in some cases. Children may not have had great experiences when they briefly returned to school. Remember that after a whole year of school, children are in and out of friendships and build solid relationships. For some this takes lots of reassurance and time.
Christmas should be a wonderful time just to gather and offer nurture and support to the children and the whole family. It may be a time of reconnection with more people for the first time. A time to heal and a time to rest from anxious 2020.
As the child thinks and plans for Christmas and the New Year, it is a time when you can just talk about the growth and changes you have seen in your child over the year. Perhaps you have noticed their growing patience with younger siblings or their growing interest in cooking. Talk about the skills that have acquired in those difficult times. Focus on the skills and little successes your child has made during the lockdown. Talk about how you may have learnt more about yourself.
Whist this whole year has had its ups and downs it is still a rich opportunity to highlight the initiatives and growth you have seen in your child. Make the most of it. Turn it into an amazing family journey. Oh what an adventure!
“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”