Talking to Children About the Bondi Tragedy
Parents have been asking how to talk to children about the Bondi tragedy. While many of us, as adults, are still trying to understand what happened, why it happened, and how such events can occur, children often pick up far more than we realise, through conversations, news, and changes in adult behaviour.
These conversations can be difficult, but they are important. With the right approach, parents and carers can help reduce fear, answer questions honestly and age-appropriately, and reassure children that they are safe and supported.
How to reduce fear, answer questions, and help children feel safe.
When a tragic event happens close to home, like the recent tragedy in Bondi, it can leave parents unsure about what to say to their children. They, however, often sense that something is wrong, even if adults try to shield them. How we respond can either increase their anxiety or help them feel safe and supported..
The goal is not to explain everything. The goal is to help children feel secure in an uncertain moment.
1. Start by finding out what they already know
Before offering explanations, gently ask:
• “Have you heard anything about what happened?”
• “Is there anything you’ve been wondering about?”
Children often have incomplete or exaggerated ideas, especially if they’ve overheard adult conversations or snippets of news. Listening first helps you correct misunderstandings without overwhelming them. Find out what they exactly understand, but do not ask probing questions.
2. Keep explanations simple, honest, and age-appropriate
Children do not need details. In fact, too much information can increase fear.
You might say:
• “Something very sad happened, and some people were hurt.”
• “The adults and helpers are working very hard to keep everyone safe.”
Avoid graphic descriptions or speculation. If you don’t know the answer to a question, it’s okay to say so.
3. Reassure them about their own safety
After tragic events, children often worry: Could this happen to me?
You can reassure them by saying:
• “You are safe right now.”
• “There are many people whose job it is to protect families and communities.”
Reassurance may need to be repeated many times—this is normal. They need to hear it frequently, sometimes especially from you, the parents.
4. Watch for feelings, not just words
Children may not say they are scared, but you might notice:
• Trouble sleeping
• Clinginess
• Irritability
• Physical complaints like tummy aches
• Silence.
Name the feelings for them:
• “Sometimes after hearing sad news, our bodies feel worried.”
• “It’s okay to feel upset or confused.”
Let them know all feelings are acceptable. Use simple words.
5. Limit exposure to news and adult conversations
Repeated images, headlines, and adult discussions can heighten anxiety—especially for young children. Be aware that in the first few weeks of the incident, the news will be very present on television.
Try to:
• Turn off the news when children are present
• Avoid discussing fears in front of them
• Choose calm, factual language if the topic arises
Children need adults to filter the world for them.
6. Restore a sense of normal and routine
Routine is one of the strongest antidotes to anxiety. Keeping to regular meals, bedtime, and familiar activities helps children feel grounded and safe.
Routine says: Life is continuing, and I am okay. Nothing in my life has changed.
7. Focus on helpers, kindness, and community
Children cope better when they hear stories of care and compassion.
You might say:
• “Many people helped others that day.”
• “When hard things happen, people come together to help.”
This builds hope and helps children understand that goodness is very prevalent in our world.
8. Let them know they can keep talking
End the conversation by keeping the door open:
• “If you think of questions later, you can always ask me.”
• “I’m here to talk anytime.”
Some children process events slowly and may return with questions days or weeks later.
A final word to parents
In times of tragedy, what children remember most is not the event, but how safe they felt with the adults who cared for them. Anxiety is a trigger for a child to check in on their own security.